Eternal Debates: Looking After Wiping

// // 195 Comments
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content Moderatora 10000+ points - Super Pooperb 9000+ pointsc 8000+ pointsd 7000+ pointse 6000+ pointsf 5000+ pointsg 4000+ pointsh 3000+ pointsi 2000+ pointsj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb
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THE ISSUE:

Do you look at the paper after you wipe? Should you?

195 Comments on "Eternal Debates: Looking After Wiping"

Skid Marky Mark's picture
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Yeah, this is really a pet peeve of mine. Too many people just don't know how to wipe their asses. The point of wiping is to completely clean up--no poop. At least 90% of the time, one swipe isn't enough. Sometimes it takes me over six until, like the Starship Enterprise, the paper has circled Uranus and wiped up all the Klingons. You HAVE to look, or else you don't know when you're done wiping.

How many times have you had someone walk past you, and you get a slight whiff of poop? That's someone that just did a one-pass-I'm-not-looking job of wiping. People! Grow up, and learn how to clean!

Slim Jim Junkie's picture
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You said my exact thoughts. I have nothing to add.

Tydirium's picture
k 500+ points
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I don't look. Eww. Poop comes out of your ass because it's meant to be as far from your nose as possible. You know when you wipe that there either is something on there, or there isn't. Why would you need to see it?

The Big Wiper's picture
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Yes, I check out my asswipes every time. How else are you going to find out if you're making any progress in cleaning your hole? BTW, I'm ecstatic when by the first or second wipe, there's nothing left to do and the TP is clean. That should be the goal, IMO. To have nothing, or at least very little, show up on the TP before flushing, pulling up your pants and walking away from your dump.

I am also a standing wiper, checking out my turds visually before I begin the cleanup, and facing the pot while doing so. That about covers it.

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

looky loo's picture
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right on target.

Stinkbug's picture
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someone please explain this to me- I have read a lot about wiping while standing on this site- It is so foreign to me, that I dont even understand how to do it- do you go from the top down, or from the bottom up? Dont you get poo everywhere? To me, its like taking a poop while standing- it can be done, but is probably going to be messy. If squatting naturally spreads your ass cheeks aside so that the anus can be properly cleaned, isnt that the most natural postion to wipe from? is this wiping-while-standing a European thing?

Riderman's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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Ok Listen, I do look and I stand up when I am cleaning my ass. I mean.. How the hell can you finish your work if you don't even know the progress you are making while wiping? Sometimes, when diarea came into play or any fluid shits.. I check my ass by the mirror if I didn't make any shit-brakes overslices. But come on, you must check your TP after each wipe! Btw, I dont use the two side of a TP. I know some persons try to fold their TP recover of shit to try to get the other unused part. Fuck Off. Get a new TP roll of the core itself.

honey_monster's picture
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wipe then look. How else are you supposed to know when you've got the all clear?

Not sure about the stand and wipe. I admit that I only look once I've wiped and stood up and that sometimes, the tissue hides the magnificent defecation which can be a pisser.

And I'm a folder. I cant understand the mentality of using loads and loads of paper. I've had some messy shits in my time, but none that has required half a loo roll. Saying that, sometimes its been easier just to wipe the seat rather than my arse. ;)

Riderman's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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hahaha Good job honey_monster.. but If you dont stand up, that's mean you wipe on reverse when sited ? I mean you go from ass to balls ? (if female) ass to vagina?

I prefer the good ass-back method

Tydirium's picture
k 500+ points
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Honey Monster says: "How else are you supposed to know when you've got the all clear?"

By feel. Blind people do it, so should you.

Unless blind people use their noses. Uh oh.

Di Uhreea's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorl 100+ points
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"Sometimes it takes me over six until, like the Starship Enterprise, the paper has circled Uranus and wiped up all the Klingons." - Skid Marky Mark

I agree you have to look but I'm wondering - - when you do one wipe and there's nothing there...do you do another for safe measure? I do cause I just don't trust my ass sometimes!!

Skid Marky Mark's picture
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On those rare occasions where I do a single wipe and it comes back clean, I quite Di. And I count myself fortunate. But now you're worrying me--should I trust my ass this way???

Di Uhreea's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorl 100+ points
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It's those nasty Klingons, SMM. Sometimes they "roll with the punches" and they end up where you "finish".

Jack Scat's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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I typically do the lift-one-leg bowl check in order to assess the quality of my leaving before burying it under what usually ends up being a rather large pile of folded paper.
Each of these neatly folded sections of bumwad are momentarily inspected before being discarded. Rarely are they contemplated for any lenghty period of time.
Like others around here, I do the shit ticket inspection in order to monitor my progress towards a clean ring but I also do it for the simply reason that I like looking at my own fecal matter.
I must say that I too am baffled by the practice of the vertical wipe. I am finished dumping for the day but tomorrow I am going to attempt the standing wipe for the first time ever in life and get back to everyone around here who probably doesn't give a shit.
Tomorrow then.

nunyabizz's picture
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Skid Marky Mark said: "like the Starship Enterprise, the paper has circled Uranus and wiped up all the Klingons."
hehehe that was too funny!

PublicEnema#2's picture
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if i have just recently showered i have been know to wipe up to 10 times.I look each time.Sometimes ya get those poops that start out your ass and then kinda explode all over the place.i hate those.I am however fond of those firm black turds that leave nothing to remember them by.A standing wipe is the best wipe,because a sittin wipe will allow ya to get a bit to deep and causes bleeding.

Greg's picture
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I stand up, look at my creation, and wipe back to front, and yes, I look at the paper.

The Big Wiper's picture
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Answering Ty's objections to looking at your asswipes because it is poop and his "Eww!" comment, I would say the following: I enjoy pooping--the sensations, the sounds, and if I am healthy, the smells don't really bother me either. I am not disgusted by my crap or the act of wiping my asshole. I enjoy taking a good, healthy dump and then making sure I have cleaned my ass well. That means visually, as I don't think doing it 'by feel' is a very good system. At best, you are guessing how much crap is showing up on the paper. I assume you are not literally talking about 'feeling the paper' to see if it is sticky or something. Now that would be an "Eww!" for me.

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

OnTheShitter's picture
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Until I came to this site, I never for a moment considered that some people DO NOT stand up to wipe their ass. What do you do, lift your leg, look over your hip, and wipe? That's retarded. I sit, shit, stand up to admire/examine my creation, wipe, then flush. Also, most shitters I've ever been in are too cramped to allow you to lean over that way anyway. I also never considered that some people would NOT look at the paper after wiping. Duh, everyone looks. Of course, a "one-wiper" is the most desirable conclusion.

MotelShit's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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I want to hear more girls comment on this issue. Being a female, I of course have to wipe after #1, which involves reaching through my legs through the front and wiping the wetness away...However, If I do #2, I still reach between my legs from the front and wipe. It's so much easier...I don't really look at either. I just keep wiping and use a lot of TP so I know it's clean.

pooper trooper's picture
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you wipe how you wipe, and however anyone does it is cool but i reckon theres an average/standard wipe procedure. i.e. one craps, waits, looks (standing), wipes (UNTIL CLEAN, i.e. looking, one must be sure, SITTING) you wont clean your arse properly if youre standing. and finished. not to much paper and not too little. there is always a healthy middle way. for all you extremeists, rock on! ladies all I know from my girlfriend is; arse: front to back. piss: back to front.

Justa Girl's picture
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Yeah, Di. I never quite trust if there's nothing there on the first wipe and I always do another, just to be sure I didn't miss anything. When we build our new house I want a bidet so I can be sparkly clean every time. A clean anus is a happy anus.

corn_fritter's picture
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Some nasty girl on here said she wipes from the front. Unless you like your "kitty" poop flavored when ya eat it, stay away from her. Good lord you are the only woman I have ever met who liked to wipe poop across her pootie.

Surprise in pants's picture
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My after-pooping system is identical to pooper trooper's gf. And I would like to pose a question to those who stand. Not to be unnecessarily crude, but how do you avoid getting poop on your hands, fingers?

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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I always stand when I wipe. I've never done it any other way. How else do you wipe without bleeding or smearing shit all over the back of the toilet seat. And yes, I check the paper after I wipe because I don't like skid marks. When it comes up clean I always do a second wipe just to make sure.
By the way, as I girl I will report this. I stand when I pee to wipe the front. I also wipe the back seperately from the front of my asshole to the back. I don't understand why some people try to clean up both pee and poo in one swipe. It leads to a stinky, piss-wreaking pussy. That's gross!
Wish some friends of mine would catch on to this. Either that or keep their legs closed.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

The Big Wiper's picture
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Surprise in pants: You take aim the same way you would if you were sitting with a generous piece of TP. If you're careless, you can get poopy fingers, etc. no matter how you wipe. My standing wipe technique is to lean forward a bit with a bend in my knees and my ass jutting out a bit. My spine is not rigid, which will increase the likelihood of smearing. I think you are much more likely to get poopy fingers by wiping too hard and tearing the paper, or having too thin a wad/fold/scrunch to wipe with. Really don't think sitting or standing comes into it, to be honest.

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

Di Uhreea's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorl 100+ points
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Definition of Eww: A girl wiping her "kitty" from back to front. You like getting poop germs from your ass up there? Sick!
Pooper trooper - do you notice a funny smell when you go down on your girlfriend?
Justa, I want a bidet too. They rock!

Mrs Shameless Shitter's picture
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Hi all! I have been 'absent' from this site for a month due to some nasty surgery: I had an emergency sigmoid colon resection December 20. Talk about poop! I didn't go for a week, due to a couple of tumors I didn't realize were thriving in my bowel. I have a ten inch incision on my belly, and surgery literally saved my life. I must have had a thousand people come into my hospital room and ask me if I'd had a bowel movement yet. It was cause for major celebration when I finally did. To comment on this query, from the female perspective, I must weigh in and say that I cannot imagine a woman standing up to wipe! I never have. If you peed, it would run down your legs by the time you stood up to wipe -- what a friggin' mess. I think women must remain seated, grab a healthy wad of tissue, and go from front to back several times to clean up after a good dump. And yes ... I definitely look at the toilet paper!

Honey_monster's picture
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And there is one crucial advantage to looking at the TP. IT COULD SAVE YOUR LIFE!!!!

Think about it. Bowel cancer has the symptons of blood in your stools which you would be able to detect when wiping. Imagaine the horror and dread a person must feel when they think everything went swimmingly and then see a fair amount of blood on the paper.

Brave souls indeed. So remember, always check your TP.
Right kids?

looky loo's picture
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yes i look after i wipe but so is other dudes looking at me also. why. it is fun. show time.

Riderman's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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At my first guess, I think a blind man will poo and then wipe 3-4 times. I mean, after 4 wipping it must be clean or the ass-shit become all dry. Now enters the idea of wet wipping 1 or 2 times. Only thing is the blind man can't see: it's if he overpasses his crack to put some shit on his butt, far away from the hole. This is the only problem. I guess it will fade away with time or after a good shower though.

tainted starfish's picture
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This brings to mind the eternal question..."How does a blind man know when to stop wiping?" Ponder while you poop.

honey_monster's picture
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That ones easy. They just smell the paper.

Slim Jim Junkie's picture
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I do have a problem with wiping a fixed number of times. After a few wipes, my ass can hurt like hell, especially if the last thing I ate was extra spicy. That is why I wipe until I (Litarally) can't see shit! Also, sometimes I get the shits, and I need like 20 wipes to get the shit off. I really don't want to smell the paper to check, because
1. My ass will smell bad anyway, due to the location, and sometimes the sweat.
2. As soon as I get the shit away, I keep it away. I hate having shit near me.

Riderman's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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Yeah well, I don't think smelling the used TP with shits on is a good idea anyway. Even if it smells good or bad...I mean, it still you smell your own fuckin shit no ?

young dude's picture
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I usually take the TP, wad it, and shove it in my ass and move it up and down three or four times. Then, after abusing it in that fashion I look at it, then drop it in the toilet. Normally I sit when I wipe my ass, especially while using public toilets with no doors on the stall.
Then the next wad of TP will get used in the same matter. I always check the TP to see how bad it looks. When I am completely satisfied, I will stop and pull my underwear up. Being a guy (and for some reason I think we are more prone)my underwear still seem to get skidmarks. I think my underwear spends a lot of time in the crack of my ass. I just bought some new underwear a while ago and most of them were abused by my ass already. I am a dude who is definitely not overweight but sweat a lot while working out and such (probably the best reason I can give for the skidmarks in my underwear). I even went through a period of washing my ass after taking a shit but, screw that, that is too much work. I just don't like my girlfriend to see my shit marks in my undies, it does embarrass me some. I actually could care less about the underwear.

Doctor Poo's picture
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Okay, i have a few comments...
1. People who stand while they wipe are just crazy. Don't you cheeks come together and cover your hole? I sit and have never stood in my life. It is more relaxing and easier to reach. The only problem i have ever had is if the water level is just too low... oh man that sucks.
2.Yes, i do look at my poop on the TP. If you don't then later that day ur ass will burn and u have the possibility of getting a deadly rash that will make pooping even worse the next day.
3. Many people have their own technique of wiping, but i wipe from back to front(the only possible way for sitters). You have to have stlye and skill at wiping or you will never make it in life.
4.Wet wipes are always good for the burning poops. After your normal dry wipe, you get a good wad of TP, wet it in the sink(only good for at home), set it on the hole and let it sit there for a minute of two.(Be careful for dirty water dripping off.)This will definetly help.

Can anybody ever be comfortable pooping in a dirty public restroom?

Poonurse's picture
j 1000+ points
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I always look, and if I am clean after only one wipe I feel as though GOD HIMSELF has rewarded me in this special way. It makes my day.
Unfortunately, this rarely happens. I usually have to wipe about 6 or 7 times, and even then it is still a bit smeary. I feel as though I could wipe all day and still have a bit 'o the brown left over. I leave skidmarks frequently in my drawers, I am ashamed to say.

My husband is a standing wiper. I can't figure that one out. I lift up one cheek and go from there. Maybe I should try standing....

young dude's picture
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I remember the first time I took a crap at my girlfriends house. I told her I had to take a shit, went into the bathroom, sat on the toilet and out it rushed. Since I ate fast foods the night before, it was a bad smelling shit that day. That was the first my ass came in contact with their toilet. The only problem, when I was done taking a shit I noticed the f...ing toilet paper roll was empty. A quick search of the bathroom, not even a spare roll available for my use. As you may of guess, I had to call to my girl. She came to the door and I told her I needed a roll of shit paper to wipe. Now comes the strange part. She came to the door with a roll and actually came inside the bathroom. I was a little uncomfortable at first but she actually seemed happy to be in there. Now, this is my question, Is it possible for ANYONE to enjoy the smell of shit? Sometimes my shit smells so bad I don't even want to be in there but I have to be. She has come in quite a few times while I take a shit. I don't mind her being in there but just curious why anyone would want to be there. She even watches as I wipe my ass. Since I am an average size guy, it don't usually take me too long to wipe my ass. Once while spending the night with her (I was drinking and she wouldn't let me drive home), while in bed before sex she got under the blankets and smelled my ass. It was a great sensation. Question: Is it possible for anyone to like the smell and taste of ass (especially after one that was just dumped from a while before)? or was she just trying to give me an unforgetable sensation?
Sorry for such a strange question but been curious for a long time now. Since I work on construction and still young (age 24), I keep myself in pretty good shape. She is very much atracted to my body (I guess it would now be safe to say, every inch. lol.) I do love her and her desires or likes do not take away anything from our relation (in a lot of way it makes it stronger).

Mrs Shameless Shitter's picture
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Young Dude, I want to address you comments above, but I must be delicate here because MY FATHER HAS NOW JOINED THE WEBSITE and is regularly conversing here. I don't know whether to be proud or pissed! Anyhow, I don't go in the bathroom while my husband is in there, but I confess ... I do love to smell his tush. I stick my nose right in there. He pretends to be embarrassed but I can tell he likes when I do it. Mostly I hope that he's 'fresh as a daisy' when I stick my nose into his crack, but if he's stinky down there, I don't hesitate to let him know!

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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I stand when wiping because I stand when peeing. And my tight ass cheeks have never closed off my asshole from the toilet paper.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

squeakypoopchute's picture
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I once took a dump that needed 52 wipes. You have no idea how awful that is. Yes, I counted. Yes, I'm fucked in the head.
Here's a little trick I use: When it's time to wipe, I look at the water, where(when the light is good) I can see the reflection of my bunghole. This helps me avoid reaching down there and wiping a halfer all over my ass.

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points
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I dated a guy once who came out of the bathroom at a bar we went to and smelled like poo. I tried to deny it, but he was the source of the poo. When he opened the door to my side of the car and turned to close it, I got a whiff again. It was the last time I ever went out with him.
I think he was a non-looker.
I look and wash my hands every time. I'm a vegetarian, so sometimes it's kind of Jackson Pollocky.

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

honey_monster's picture
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Psychologically, defecation is the most private act a person can do. Followed closely by masterbating and picking your nose.

To be able to let someone watch you (in a true shameless shitter action) is a feat that has my respect. I take my hat off to you.

*tips hat*

anonymous coward's picture
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What's all this business with toilet paper? I just scoot my ass along the bathroom carpet to get clean!!!

PublicEnema#2's picture
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i wonder what ya gotta eat to get 1 of those no-wipe,1 wipe craps.They truly are the shit.But since those are so rare,i like to line my shorts with toilet paper,though a bit uncomfortable.On those hot days i dont wear underwear and i leave a brown streak in that seam that runs across the crotch of my blue jeans

Lady Ballbuster's picture
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Ladies, if you get nothing else out of this debate, remember the golden rule of wiping: FRONT TO BACK. Recommended by gynos everywhere, it prevents you from wiping fecal matter into areas where it doesn't belong, which can result in a really nasty infection.

Also, I don't get this crap of wiping while sitting down...I sure don't want my hand to slip and make contact with toilet bowl water, let alone fecal matter. Yuk! Stand and wipe, that's my motto!

the sniffer's picture
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for the guy who asked if someone could actually enjoy the shit's smell... well, i do, it's real turn on to me (or should i say, a real turd-on?)In general, i'm really aroused by corporal scents, like feet sweat and others. It's just that it's hard to find gals who are into it... but i can tell you guys i have touched myself while sniffing on my girlfriend's asswipes. I don't think she'd like to know that, i prefer not to find out.

ookie dookie's picture
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Hey, I've got a question, what do you guys do when you've taken a nice smelly dump and lo and behold... THERE'S NO TOILET PAPER?!!!! Does anybody actually use their hand anymore nowadays?

Poopedem's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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I am in awe of the standing while wiping technique. I have never tried this. I do the 'lift one leg and look' also. Yes, I do look at the paper. I leave no kibbles behind. I would much rather drag a knuckle through the crap water than have a loose dingleberry drop onto my pants or even the floor. Although, I need to try this at least once.

ookie dookie's picture
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How about you Mr. Big Wiper? What would you doo in the case of "no toilet paper?"

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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I always use the empty brown tube. If none are available I call my cats.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

Nate's picture
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I have a rather unique way of wiping that's neither standing nor sitting. I squat when I poop (I heard that aligns your colon better and makes for a more thourough evacuation), and so I just wipe while I'm in the squatting position. This spreads the cheeks while also making it possible to wipe front to back, although since I'm a guy the direction doesn't matter so much. Squatting also makes it easier to get a good look at the turd and the TP.

looky loo's picture
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you dudes need to learn to butt wipe. first you hold to balls and your prick up towards your pubic hair and go through the front to wipe., getting just the hole. no skids here. trust me.

The Big Wiper's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
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ookie dookie: (like your handle, BTW!) There have been a coupla times that I have been caught without TP. The first time was when I was 15 and went down to the DMV to take my driver's license test. I put that up as a story ('DMV BM'), and it is archived on the PoopReporterRoster under The Big Wiper. That particular time I asked the guy in the next stall for help, but he had none to spare. But he did direct me to another bathroom where I found some after doing the penguin walk on the way.

There was another occasion where I found myself without some. This was at an airport, and the bathroom was crowded. I had dumped before looking, but the guy next to me cooperated by handing some TP over to me under the stall partition when I asked him to help me out.

I had some other thoughts on this: if you have no TP and no one around to help you out and no other stalls to investigate, you might use the TP core that might be left on the dispenser to do a scrape.

I'd ask for help first from somebody else in the bathroom if there was someone there. And then you could consider going out for some paper towels from the paper towel dispenser.

Worst comes to worst, you got bad skidmarks, unfortunately. Either that, or you sacrifice a pair of brief/boxers,etc.

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

Slim Jim Junkie's picture
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Well, when I have no TP for my bunghole, I may:
1. Scrape my crack with the paper tube.
2. Run to a location with TP.
3. Use the shower.

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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The sink works well, too. If you're not to heavy to sit on the edge and wash your ass.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

ookie dookie's picture
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Geez, I guess this is why they have bidet's in other countries. You really can't go wrong then, huh?

bootykawl's picture
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Hell yea, you look after you wipe...until the paper comes clean, other wise if not yer wearin skid marks on your tighty whities. I once got a public stall without TP, I got creative and used the tissue paper seat covers... pulled up my drawls and looked for a stall with some for real toilet paper... rewiped and was good to go.

PJbrownstuff's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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You have to look. Otherwise, how do you know when you are finished?

experimentertinstien's picture
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i just thought of a new name for poopreporters! hows about shit fuckers!!!

paul's poop's picture
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Did you ever try to write on the walls with your used tp to impress the following shitter by the sickness of your shit's color??

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points
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A friend's mother in law had to use baby wipes once because they were out of paper, and now when she comes to visit, the babywipes mysteriously disappear faster.
If I am out of paper, I never fear. For some stupid reason, I almost always have kleenex in my pocket, and I carry those MRE toilet paper minis in my purse.
I'm a mom. I think we all do this.
Oh, and Paul's poop, what the hell was your childhood like? You really have to answer for that. Actually, if you want to have some fun with it, eat a blueberry Kool Aid packet and then wait about a day.
You will amaze even the most colorblind.
My childhood was nuts.
Haha.

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Gman's poop's picture
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How does a blind person know when they are done wiping their ass? Is their enhanced sense of smell good enough to differentiate between the shit in the pot and that shit still clinging to the paper in their hand??

che's picture
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interesting. and how do they know if they get a $20 back in change or a $5? or a $1?

sight rules!

Deuce Fan's picture
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stand or sit? look or no look? I am a shower after ALWAYS shitter! I take my dump every other day and its in the confines of my sanctuary at home. Afterward, I may or may not wipe at all...its straight to the shower for some pre clean rinse and then a series of wash cloth and soap cleaning ritual. How can you feel fresh if you dont? There is always residual and moistness left after every poo seesion. Only in emergencies does a shower not follow!

PooperGal's picture
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I check when it's a soft poop, because it's guaranteed that there's going to be a lot of wiping. Smooth-slides of firm poop clean up quick and easy, and don't need a backward glance.

A few years ago, the first moistened butt wipes came up on the market. The marketing research by the manufacturers (Johnson & Johnson, etc.) indicated that a large number of people wet their toilet paper under the faucet before wiping, as it does a better cleaning job than just with dry paper.

That was revealing. My can is next the sink at home, and I always wet the TP before wiping when it's a messy poo session. But when I'm in a stall somewhere, and the sink is across the room, I use a little "spit and polish."

Eastern Mystic's picture
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Why the fixation with TP. Their are nations that haven't bothered with paper for this, water has done fine. It has always puzzled as to when Europeans started the whole Oh-Iam-so-clean-look-at-me-I-use-paper business Wonder what they used before paper was discovered. I real miss cleaning my butt with plain old water. You just cannot go without the joy of water coursing through the follicles around the ring. (I suggest you all try it. If you can't bear to get your hand there use moist tissues for a start.)

(If I miss my country, it is only for this reason.)

PooperGal's picture
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Because it's hard to splash water on your butt without getting shit on your hands - unless you have a bidet. Getting shit on your hands is unhygienic and a good way to spread disease.

Most people don't wash their hands with soap and water after crapping, and then they go and handle doorknobs, prepare food for other people, and otherwise taint the environment around them. Recently, there was a serious outbreak of intestinal disease in California, because some jerk pooped, got it on his/her hands, didn't wash thoroughly, and then handed green onions that were later used at a chain of restaurants.

TP at least puts some kind of barrier between your hand and poop.

Dook of Earl's picture
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I was not a looker until I had kids and realized just how much can be left behind by dry paper. Any parent who has been caught in public with a poopy toddler and opened up the diaper bag to discover in horror that you've run out of wipes and have to use TP knows what I mean. You CANNOT get clean without looking, especially when using dry wiping materials. Proper procedure is as follows: 1.dump, 2. glance at product and marvel at its color, size and consistency( I do this by looking down between my legs) 3. wipe, inspect paper, fold, wipe, toss paper 4.repeat step 3 until clean (while sitting, of course. I like the front to back side cheek wipe myself.). Also, with regard to those who stand and wipe, are you keeping one hand free to separate the butt cheeks and really clean the seal? If not, don't even try to fool yourself into thinking you're clean. The only sure way is while sitting.