Hey- as a guy, I have no problem with it. Most guys either openly or secretly enjoy a good fart, whether it's theirs or not. I know I rate mine on volume, duration, and pitch. I use the smell to tell me if I'm gonna have a load to deal with in about an hour or two.
To sum up: Poot away!

I remember being a child and being at a baseball game, restaurant or some other event and when my father would take me to the washroom, he would invariably let loose with a resounding ass trumpet. This was usually accompanied by a sly grin and a chuckle. He would do this under any circumstances; crowded bathroom or empty. I was always in awe of his shameless ways and the other washrooms patrons always seemed to get a rise out of this display. Like a good little grasshopper I followed his example and just last week, I was in a washroom at a restaurant standing at the urinal, there was another person in the stall who was doing his best to be quiet when I broke the tension with a beefy bassoon note. From the stall I heard several snickers and soon after, a symphony of breezy bass lines. I guess my inherited shamelessness created a bond which helped one person to release his turd tension�If you feel the need, let �er rip for the goodness of those around you�..

My son has clued me in that this is excellent material for an entire day's giggling at his school. He's 11.

I guess things change.

I meant, "I guess things DON'T change."

Funny, I mentioned this to my gf last week. She had no idea guys did this and she thought it was
the most hilarious thing ever. I must admit, I always get a good chuckle when someone lets loose a good one.

If I could fart on demand I'd definitely do it at the urinal. But I'm scared to try and force it out there...mistakes happen in the bathroom.

I'd have to say that the actual farting, in a crowded restroom, should occur while one is at the urinal itself. If the bathroom is crowded and you are in line, your fart could essentially be on the guy behind you in line. This is why you must wait until you reach the urinal.

My father has been batting 1.000 since as long as I can remember when he steps up to the porcelain plate. He's never been the type to close the door all the way, so inevitably everyone hears him when he lets one rip while pissing. Its a phenomenon I've tried to emulate, but haven't quite mastered it yet. I have this terrible fear that a fart may turn into something else while pissing and therefore, I hold off unless I'm confident I'm about to fart. George Carlin once said that it's impossible to sneeze while pissing. It sort of follows those same guidelines although farting while pissing is entirely possible. The talent is truly shown when you can fart while pissing, and not interrupt the flow. That's when you've become a piss/fart master!

I hope to one day live up to my dad's reputation. He never fails to deliver.

Let it out. The guys behind sometimes bitch about it if the wind goes their way, but thats too bad! You were polite enough not to let it out at the worst possible time. Besides, when I pee, I usually have to fart anyway, due to the relaxation. It doesn't have any effect on the pee stream.

Also, I heard that somewhere in Asia, there is a legend that states that if you pee, fart, and sneeze simultaneously, you will die. I proved it to be a myth once.

It is physically impossible to piss at a urnal (or any other time for that matter) without enjoying a relaxing southern breeze. Sometimes it even helps prevent the also inevitable final few drips in your shorts by propelling them to the great porcilan wall.

If using a urinal I try not to amplify the fart. Plus the possibilty of solid projectile is something you don't want standing up.

If seated at a public toilet, use the concave bowl to your advantage. Make that fart loud and proud. Hold nothing back. Accidents are rectifiable (pun intended) on the bowl.

"Physically impossible" -- a lot of people on Poopreport are in the habit of thinkingn that what goes for their body goes for every body. I'm thinking also to yesterday, when the guy said you can't poop without peeing.

Every body is different. Some bodies poop three times a day; other bodies poop once a month. What's physically impossible for one person is standard procedure for another.

At the urinal I fart if I feel the need, if I don't, I do not try to force one to entertain other patrons. And when I do let it loose, I am proud of it and often end the wind with a long sigh of relief as I zip up my trousers.

My sophomore year college dormitory was set up so that there was a bathroom between two rooms of two people. I was hailed for producing a mighty, fetid rumbling every single day with the morning mistication.

Sometimes it was a robust and throaty howl; other days it was just a few seconds of a-flat. No matter what, though, I had an audience and had to play the butt organ for a demanding and discerning crowd. I like to think that, on average, my performance improved over the course of the year.

It's kind of curious: I don't fart the rest of the time I pee but am still about a 95% morning farter now.

Wouldn't it be great if the notes of the farts at each consecutive urinal went up the musical scale?

If it's rather accepted that farting in public, i.e. openly in front of others, is bad manners, then where else are you going to do it? Hold it in till you get home?

I, for one, am a pissing farter (or a farting pisser), especially in the morning. I'm the first one up so I do more than just break the silence.

The ehco produced in our ceramic "concert hall" is exquisite!

Farting has always been fun, and i enjoy using urinals. I don't know why I've never put the two together. I've been blind all my life. Thanks for opening my eyes.

Women have a little different take on this subject. Unfortunately,it is not acceptable to fart outloud in the womens toilet. Therefore we are forced into conformity and must flush the toilet everytime we have to butt trumpet while peeing. Yes. This happens to us as well, gentlemen.

I sometimes enjoy it when I am relieving myself at the urinal and I poop and something squishy comes out. That always pumps a little excitement into me, and it's always funny to see poeple's reactions when I run to the stalls after having pooted some out. Those farts/shits always smell the best.
Sometimes when someone is in the stall I like to get a little water on my hands, put them up to my mouth, and make horrible, wet-sounding fart noises.

I like to take big logs out of the stalls and wedge them onto the door handles.

I have a sore bung from not wiping correctly. Also, I live in a nudist colony, so when I fart, sometimes pootie flies onto other people's bare legs. That always make for a good laugh.

Somebody is trying to impersonate me!

once, as a teenager, i entered a seemingly empty men's room to piss and, seeing as there was no one around, let loose with about twenty intense rumbling notes from my ass-oon. i thought there was no harm done and in fact was enjoying my farts when i turned and with horror saw a pair of dress shoes beneath the stall next to me! someone had silently, maybe out of politeness or fear, endured my syphony of toots! i was extremely embarrassed and practically ran out of the bathroom. this is but one of my "farting while pissing" debacles.

Once I get a feel for the people then I will make a decision whether or not to let one rip.

The absolute best place to let one rip is not at the urinal, but on the elevator. And the best kind to squeeze out is a silent, deadly, paint peeler that brings tears to the eyes of everyone on the lift. So consequently, whenever feel the urge to blow wind while standing at the urinal, I squeeze cheeks, pinch pooter, and save the gas for when I'm on a crowded elevator.

Hey, it's almost lunchtime, and I gotta go down to the elevators and wait for a crowded car to jump into and practice my poot terrorism. Long live the odiferous Otis.

The Eliminator.

I always like to remove a big ol' monster from the stall and toss it in the urnal before use. It can be scape-goat when I play the tubutta at the urnal. "Don't blame me..........it's the turd"

Me have heap big problem regarding urinal farts. Whenever me piss, asshole relax too damn much. This apparently genetic Native American condition renders me defenseless against emitting huge thunderclouds of torrentially wet winds from southern end of torso. Buffalo hold no candle to me when it comes to blowing foul smelling blasts of liquid poo gas from ass. This actually causes much problem with loin cloth flapping and spattering stinking wet goop onto waiting braves in line behind. Much embarassment and appologies follow every piss at public urinal. What can Chief do to tighten up bung? Anyone have advice? Please help.

Hey Big cheif......how about tickle nuts with feather.........sasquatch breath will crawl to belly. PS I shagged squaw Bearded Clam

Depends on the kind of fart. If its done with confidence in sort of a fart it loud fart it proud kind of way, it makes everyone at ease in urinal row. But if its a nervous little fart and the farter acts all weird about it, it gets annoying. Rip it or zip it. Don't be a half ass assvalve.

i feel that if you need to fart, go ahead. If you have a problem, then leave the area. farting is natural and is the leading air containinater: in other words its fun!!!!

Is there anywhere where I could get a tuner that would tell what note my farts are?

Well, pyoowee, music stores usually have an "Electronic guitar turning aid." I have used my friends to learn that I burp a C-flat, but I never measured a fart.

I have tried Slim Jim's suggestion. It works pretty well but it takes a lot of contortion to see what is coming up on the guitar tuner. Try connecting a microphone to the tuner and holding it to your ass. That way you can see the results without pissing on your shoes.

P.S. Guys, fart all you want. If you fart in the stall, why can't you fart at the urinal?!?

wow - I'm glad most everyone here agrees

OF COURSE you should fart at the urinal...or anywhere else that is "men-only" Farting amongst men is hilarious

just last week I was suffering from a case of horrible stinky farts - some of the worst of my life - I dropped one at the urinal & it's power was actually complimented by one of the other disgusted patrons

One day when riding on the elevator by myself, I felt the urge to release the intestinal tension. The meal I had the previous night of spicy chinese food and garlic resulted in an atmosphere that would make your eyes water and your gag reflex react. As I stepped of the elevator, a heavy-set african american lady entered and as the door closed I heard:
" OH, MY LAWD "
As you can probably guess, I started laughing so hard I started crying and had to run, sphincter-tightened, to the men's room to keep from releasing the accompanying solid mater.

I've probably said this before, but if you can't fart in the fucking bathroom, where CAN you fart. You don't want to spontaneously combust like Kenny!

hell yeah!!! I Love the bathroom when it's got people in there and i have to rip a big fart. I'm a showoff you know. and it's the right place to do it too! idon't farts in the public loudly, but in the john... lookout! I give it that little extrapush at the end. bzzzAAAP! then i LAAAAAUGH!

Ladypooter, have no fear. Just let one rip.

i think that everyone should fart in everyones faces i think it smells really good and i enjoy it vvery nmuch.. actually if a guy farts on our first date we will dfinitly be together for a while

when people fart i think that it shows that they arent afraid to show a side of them that isnt normally shown..i like the farts u cant see and cant smell..those are so fetch

I prefer pissing in a stall. Less splashback that way. The other day at work while I was pissing I ripped a wonderful snort that must have lasted a full 10 seconds. Then a voice from the stall next to me say God DA-AMN"! It was a black guy. nobody can say "God Da-mn" as funny as a black dude. Needless to say the rest of my piss was abit sprayed because I was laughing too hard.

I'm 16. Once, when I was 13, I let one rip when I was at the urinal, and the bathroom was crowded. It lasted at least 10 - 15 seconds, and it was extremely loud! After it was over, the entire bathroom went silent for about 5 seconds, then all of a sudden, everyone started clapping and cheering for me! After that, I did 3 more encores that were about 10 seconds each! More cheering! Then, there was a boy next to me, het let out a huge one a little louder than mine, but not as long. It was crazy! They clapped for both of us then, and then we took a bow! Hahahahaha! That was an experience.

Hey Guys, Just to let you all know yes we do the same thing. You sit down on the toilet and try not to squeeze one off but you know it is a givin to do that. If you dont Fart when you pee you just are not normal. Thing of it is, Me being a woman and all I still dont flush when I have to fart. I dont really care if someone hears me fart in the bathroom. That is us women are supposed to fart. If we dont then where would we. Just a little known fact also. Women fart more in their sleep than men do. The reason is because most women hold it in all day so there for they have to expell gas without knowing.. HAHAHAHAHAH... I just love that.

What is it with women and not farting? Why not just pull a left-cheek sneak? It works wonders for your overall attitude and well-being, to be able to let off the tension.

juiop: a juicy poop

I don't fart every time that I pee, but it happens involuntarily quite often. I feel a little embarassed but I would not apologize for it. It's the bathroom for the love of Pete!

SamDamnit!
Rectum Rector
of
The Church of Poop
http://www.myspace.com/saintcarnivean

People who have a problem with someone farting in a bathroom need to pull their heads out of their asses and get a life!

I dunno, I always feel a bit uncomfortable when I'm pissin at the urinal and the guy right next to me tears off a huge chunk of fart like it aint nothin. Especially if it smells! Then again, male restrooms usually smell like fermented mutant feces anyway...

Personally I'll let one go in the head, but I make an attempt to keep it fairly silent. No need to make a statement about it.

Yeah I fire the fog horn when I'm urinating. Where better to really let go. If its moist...there is a stall and paper right there.
If anyone says anything stupid (a few have), I turn my WHOLE BODY and say "sorry" in a smart ass tone. Then I act like I didnt mean to splash urine on their shoes.

TSV:
If they pulled their heads out they could fart, be happy, and not have such bad breath.
Still...they CHOOSE to keep it up there!
Its a lifestyle I guess.

Asphincter says WHAT...(!)

i always let a good long smelly fart rip at the urinal

Daph writes: "My son has clued me in that this is excellent material for an entire day's giggling at his school. He's 11."

Ah, the memories, Daph! Back in "elementary school," as they called it then, my friend Fatback would rip one off so loud that it could be heard out in the hall. This made all the little girls act like they were horrified, but I think they secretly enjoyed it, because whenever Fatback went into the restroom during recess or lunch, a coed crowd would gather outside the door.

Recently at a local movie theater I headed to the men’s room after the show to pee and was greeted by the sounds of asssoons in symphony! Almost every guy there was letting one rip whilst taking a whiz. Of course, being sociable like I am, I joined the group and “played” my own ass music. This doesn’t work in all settings though, once while attending an upscale music venue I farted at the urinal and it wasn’t well received by my peeing companions! Too bad!

If I'm peeing at a urinal and I've got to fart, I'll rip those firecrackers as loud and powerful as I can! And it doesn't matter to me if the room is empty, crowded, or anything. Be proud of your farts!

I also let rip some loud smelly farts while at the urinal. There's nothing wrong with it. You're just letting everyone know who's the man!

I'm afraid of farting at the urinal! What if somebody yells at me?

You're afraid of farting at a urinal? Dude, no one is going to yell at you. I promise.

I love letting a big gnarly fart rip while pissing at the urinal, especially at crowded bathrooms in big bars. It never fails to get the drunken cracking up of my enebriated peers, plus it puts everyone at ease and lets them know they can too. Any guy who is scared to fart in the bathroom is a pussy.

I have yet to meet a man who is afraid to fart in the bathroom. I've never heard of such a thing! Farting in public is a man's way of saying "I'm in charge here!"

i never enter a bathroom without letting rip an extraordinary series of farts.

Yep - let it rip! When I have a powerful one brewing, I select the urinal closest to where the stalls start -- especially if that end stall is occupied. A lot of mine are of the "silent but deadly" variety, so having others think that end stall occupant's "pooh with a half life" is the source of that "Indonesian sewer backup" smell adds greatly to the humor!!

I love to fart and I have some really good sounding ones... But when want to show off my stuff they have no sound but really bad smell. I'm a good farter but noone knows it! it sucks!

I LOVE too fart. And its 20 times better when theres another guy there to appriciate it and give it a courtesy sniff. Farting is deff the best

The very best thing is if a loud one slips out you should do what I do. Just say "AHEM juuuuuust clearing my throat!" Not only is it comedic relief it is also the polite thing to do.
_______
The Thunderous Crapper 63 Enjoying home toilet advantage since 2004!

I usually blame it on the bitch on the other side of the glory hole.

Thunderous - another great comment - I'm literally laughing out loud. I'll try and say it next time, but I'll just crack up laughing!!

Seriously, I regard toilets as being for shitting, peeing AND farting. If I 've got a good gas build up from sitting down too long in the office, I go to the toilet just to release, loudly or otherwise, and come back out again. Is that not the polite thing to do!!? Where else do you go for gods sake - the bloody elevator (see I'm even using American terminology here)!!!??? And, without bragging, I can do really loud AND stinking ones.

I'm very troubled by Ladypooter (5.20.04). Is this really true!!?? How absurd!!!!

This is a funny thread; I missed this one. I loved a lot of the comments, but my favorite line from here is "Indonesian sewer backup". That had me rollin'.

Query, though: Do you men make a distinction when the bathroom is quite exposed to the public? Are you more restrained when the door to the hallway could open any moment and everyone passing by could hear the trumpeting?

Just wondering. I mean, at my workplace, the men's room opens RIGHT onto the main hall, and we all walk by it a hundred times a day. I've never heard any "assooning" echoing into the hall.

Would not bother me at all, GGG. As far as I'm concerned, the toilets are for the three things I mention above, and when I'm in there I feel totally free to fully indulge in any of them!!

On a practical note though, surely this is poor design!!?? You must get some horrendous smells wafting out into the main hall!??

Yes, yes we do, and the hold room shares a wall with the men's room, as well. I swear the smell seeps through the plaster.

It may well do - particularly if you have a nose for it like me! When I'm on the train to London, I always know if someone's had a dump when they come back into the carriage. Some other people just don't smell it! But then the gas man came yesterday, and he admitted to me that he couldn't smell gas!!!

I like to fart at the urinal, but i love to hear other men fart. Especially old man. I know this old man who is like 70 and when ever he goes into the bathroom he just lets them rip and acts like there is no problem!!

If I feel the need to fart at work, I tell the guy who works next to me and then lift my right leg. He then supports my right leg while I lift my left leg (so I am horizontal by this time, with one hand on the desk). At the pinnacle of the "leg-lift", as we call it, I let rip, and I have been able to perfect this so that the leg-lifting increases the volume of the fart. One day, we were fortunate enough to have a small chap walk past, and as he did, we performed a leg-lift. My arse was only inches from his face. That made my day for sure.

FArting is a perfectly natural bodily function. Yet doing it at a crowded urinal would certainly attract attention.

So, to avoid doing the walk of shame, I feel that if the fart can be postponed until a better time, that hold it until that time.
_______
"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

It's 2 AM and I'm moderating some old threads and found a post from the early days.....about Thing One and his friends farting. He was 11. Now he's 15. And him and his friends still think farts are funny.

No, some things never change.

_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

I do have no problem ripping a loud one at the urinal when it's crowded. The greater the crowd, the better!! And I just look away like there's nothing wrong because there isn't!! I also like hearing other people fart without shame. It shows you got self confidence. Everyone does it! It's natural, duh?!!

GOSH... I wish we girls could be more like you guys when it comes to farting. It really sucks to be living on campus and not even be able to fart in the restrooms. For girls, There is such a stigma attached to not only farting, but also crapping in the bathroom when there are other people around. I've noticed tht most girls when they do have to either fart or crap they will either go late, late, late at night, or when people are in the shower so that they can then sneak out when they are finished without anyone ever seeing them leave the stall. Other girls suddenly get asthma attacks, and get this severe persistent cough, others prefer spinning the squeaky toilet paper holder until they're done. Discretion really is an art.

Daphne, this just in. I am 44 and still think farts are funny.

Hey, I fart anytime, anywhere, and the louder the better!

One should be very careful when farting during a piss stream, don't try this at home, I am a professional farter. When you are whizzing, its like your starfish controller is out to lunch. any butt heroics could end in trousers full of liqui-shit.

Now if you have access to clean drawers, go for it!

Women talk in the bathroom, men don't. We speak the language of farts. Each fart says something. It can be a statement, a warning, or just a taunt. Some examples of male bathroom conversation translate as: "man I really had to piss", "brush up against me one more time and I'll punch you", "I want my mommy", "It wasn't me", (the dreaded)"ooohhh I should have gone into the stall", "I'm shakin it while I fart" etc. etc. This is a language that is in need of study in depth.

I don't have the time.