Outside. I'd go outside over a CLEAN porta-potty, if given the opportunity and enough privacy!

outside for sure, being from the country (and somewhat of a germaphobe) i have no qualms with a cat hole over a bucket of human leavings.

How dirty is the shithouse? Is the odor strong enough to trigger my gag reflex or just enough to make me hold my breath? Define outside: Central Manhattan or enough woods to ensure my disgrace is private? I have perfected the method of grabbing a sapling in the woods and leaning back while I launch a brown torpedo. I can shat and not hit my drawers/pants/boots. Having said that, as long as I won't be a public spectacle, I'd prefer to expend my shit spackle outside.

_______
Now that's what a men's room is supposed to smell like!

I prefer the alfresco poop above all others at any time, if it's good enough for bears it's certainly good enough for me.

_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Outside provided it is not winter or not raining

There is something primal and satisfying about doing the business outside, not that I make a habit of it. Portable toilets, on the other hand, are disgusting and un-natural regardless of how clean they appear. So crap in a hot, festering plastic shit box, or outside in a spot where I'm likely the first since a caveman to grace with my recycled food? Not a hard choice for me. Outside.

I would take some toilet paper from in the porta potty and use it to wipe after I shit behind it.

_______
Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

I have done both--outdoors and porta-potty. Either is suitable given certain conditions. Outside is fine if there are (a) no human observers close, (b) no poison ivy or similar plants close to my bottom, (c) no ground bees, fire ants, or other dangerous insects, and (d) no quicksand. The porta-potty is OK if it is (a) upright, (b) clean enough (see below), (c) cooler than 95 degrees inside, and (d) supplied with toilet paper.

What is clean enough for a porta-potty? I should be able to walk to the seat without getting my shoes in poop. I should be able to sit on the seat without touching someone else's poop. If the seat has urine on it, I should be able to put up the seat and hover to make the drop, without a cloud of flies eating my poop before it lands.

Either place--if I have to go, I'll find a way.

Question for Prarie Doggin since he is our expert on Alaska. What did the Inuits wipe their asses with?

_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

MSG guidelines apply for me too.

However, my daughter when younger, like 4 years old, needed to go #2 while at a Labor Day picnic at the park. Everyone else at the park had all ready gone #2. They were all FULL. Shit and toilet paper was oozing out the edges of every last one of them. I've never seen anything so nasty. I felt sorry for my daughter. We had to get her to the car and get her to the Seven Eleven as fast as we could.

She made it.

Then I felt sorry for the city worker dudes who had to come on Tuesday to pick up the Ories or clean them.

Yuck.

_______
To affect the quality of the poo, that is the art of life. ~Thoreau, sort of.

Baby seals, Chief, no cats in the Arctic.

_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

All things being equal, I'll use a port-a-potty. The EPA will have an easier time dealing with my SuperFund site, if it's already contained in a plastic shelter.
_______
Yo quiero Taco Bell.

I must disagree Deja Poo......A poo properly buried in the forest will return to its basic elements much faster than one disposed of in a port-a-potty.

_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Chief, Lest you forget Toilet-to-tap... this applies to port-a-johns too. Post- treatment: Drink the "water" and fertilize the field... oh and eat the tomatoes, too!! HAHA

I will always choose shitting outside over using a porta-potty.

MSG, part of the fun of shitting outside is the risks involved. I say bring on the bees, human observers, and quicksand---and throw in a few snakes and a bear while you're at it.

Outside always. I even keep a roll of TP in the truck. It has come in handy more times than I can remember. Gas station potty out of TP? NO PROBLEMO!

What?!! You didn't use the front passenger seat fabric in your truck?

Come on. I know that smell anywhere.

_______
To affect the quality of the poo, that is the art of life. ~Thoreau, sort of.

By gum, Chief, I think you may be right. In fact, I think I'm going to go right now and pinch a loaf on my neighbor's tomato plants.
_______
Yo quiero Taco Bell.

It's leather. It just kinda slides around. No absorbency at all. The carpet however.....Absorbent but a little rough.

Anonymous Coward said.."Chief, Lest you forget Toilet-to-tap... this applies to port-a-johns too. Post- treatment: Drink the "water" and fertilize the field... oh and eat the tomatoes, too!! HAHA"

My method is superior....you can eat the tomatoes and drink the water with no treatment required. Don't put the poo in the water and you don't have to figure how to remove the poo from the water.

_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Postman, I agree with you about the fun being the risks involved--to a point. While being witnessed in the act might have a certain thrill if seen by certain people, I would not have my witness be a sheriff. While having flying insects around might generate a certain adrenalin rush, I don't wish to be stung repeatedly while in the middle of ejecting a turd, nor, alternatively, jumping up to run away with pants down and turd hanging (or swinging with every step till it drops, likely in my pants). I'll check the area first. Similarly for quicksand--if the ground is not solid, the time to discover that is not when it is slowly rising to meet my turd descending.

I would have to make an assessment of the given situation at hand, then make an informed decision. Just off the cuff, I cannot make a decision.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Dropping the dukie outside is best as that how it waas meant to be. I'll be happy to supply the world with the food from my bung that vegatation needs.

_______
The only bad turd is a turd that has yet to be laid.

What if we add another element to the problem. Say you are in a busy city and the only publicly available toilet is absolutly disgusting.

_______
Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

I don't know about anyone else...but the port-a-potty on the tee box at the 15th hole of the Island Golf Course here is special. I always stop, if for nothing else, to pee there, but I have on more than one occassion drop a bomb or two as well. It allows me to think hard on that missed putt on 14 for a birdie, go over my club selection and ball placement on the upcoming 15th, which is a short 165 yard par 3 hole, but entirely over water to a very small green...too much club, water, too little club, water. In the end, after going through all that, ensconsed in the vapid muck and mire that is the port-a-potty at 15, life ain't bad at all.

_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Easily entertained mind...
_______
To affect the quality of the poo, that is the art of life. ~Thoreau, sort of.

Bilgernasty, you talk too fast. Something about a porta potty on a hole in one...and a poop and pee in a blue porto potty.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

I keep a roll of toilet paper in my car. My seats are leather and they are blue...paw- paw blue.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

..so your cat did it?
_______
To affect the quality of the poo, that is the art of life. ~Thoreau, sort of.

_______
PeePeeDianeOh gosh, I would rather poo outside anytime over some filthy, smelly, germy, outhouse. Our family went camping a lot ,growing up, so all us girls would grab our roll of TP. and hike down the path to the designated outdoor girls restroom behind some bushes,the boys would sneak over to peek at us and we didnt really care cause we were young and crazy and would go watch the boys also, so and it always feels so free to pee and poop outside to this day, I love it, so does my sister.

PeePeeDiane, you would watch each other poop? Ew!

_______
Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

Right on Nine Incher......I have always loved to look at naked females but not while they were pinching a loaf...Ewwwww!!

_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Outdoors. Outside. Wind in the hair. Smile on my face. Brown on the ground. Aroma up to heaven. I nurture nature. Nature nurtures me.

No, Branfart. The cat didn't do it. My car is Grampa blue. Down here in Louisiana children call their grandparents maw-maw and paw-paw. I was just explaining the color blue that is in my car as a color common among the elderly. At least it was a common color in the 60s.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

No(in case you ask), I never called any of my 10 grandparents maw-maw or paw-paw.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

I see that a lot of you are like me. I'd take the risk of taking a shit outside over an outhouse any day. I'd rather have to take the chance of getting my ass attacked by bees than to get a disease from using the outhouse.
_______
Russell the shitting queen

Your ass attacked by bees? Are you insinuating that your bung smells like a rose?

He is incinuating that his bung smells like Sweet Peas!
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

I used to own a bright yellow car, and the bees used to hang around it a fair bit.
Maybe Russell's posterior resembles a sunflower!
_______
The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

Maybe Australian bees are not very smart...
_______
The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

You could die from alot of bee stings at once. I haven't heard of anyone getting sick off of a dirty outhouse, porta potty or any other public restroom that is disgusting.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Well, you know, other than typhoid or cholera.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

I told my honeyman, yesterday, that I want him to take me canoeing when it get cooler. He asked, what if I have to go to the bathroom. I said, pullover. You can pull over, right. He said yeah, but what if there are snakes. I said, snakes are more afraid of me than I am of them. The snakes will run away. He said, not all of them will run away. Ooooooh, I don't think I could stick my butt over the side of a canoe without tipping us over. Mabe, I am more afraid of the snakes than they would be of me. Not mabe, I know I can't keep up the rowing. I'm going to want to stop ALOT. It probably isn't a good idea. Honeyman knows I want to go out in the wilderness. I really do. I'm not strong enough. I hate to admit it. I wish I were strong to sleep outside and camp and canoe. The truth is that I am not. He knows it and I know it. I hate being weak and sick!!! I hate it!
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

I would prefer the porta potty. Especially if I need to poop. I like the idea of sitting on a seat, versus the squat, which may or may not be clean. I will pee outside versus a porta potty. I am a shameless shitter, so privacy in that shituation is not an issue.

_______
In search of the ever evasive BM

sp,
I was saddened by your last post.
You don't need to be strong and fit and healthy to enjoy the Great Outdoors!
Enjoy it at your own pace, and under your conditions. Compensate for any personal shortcomings there may be.
Mrs. Mullet and I went away once (with the teenage boys) and she decided she'd like to try canoeing. We just paddled along for an hour or two, no big hurry, but I couldn't seem to get her to understand that if we both paddle on the same side, the damn thing will go around in circles.
The number of times she speared us into the mangrove trees!!!
Ah, but it was fun, and you should never deny yourself fun.
BTW, pooping in the woods is always more relaxed when you have a shotgun with you.
_______
The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

Never canoe with your significant other. Period. You can't yell at polite company when they steer you into the branch with the BIG spider dangling from it.

_______
To affect the quality of the poo, that is the art of life. ~Thoreau, sort of.

I've already chickened out. Honeyman doesn't know that I'm chickening out. Mabe he can take me to a not-so-rugged place where there are bathrooms. That is if there is such a thing.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

The mall, maybe?

_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

No, not the mall! I hate the mall! I don't like to shop. I mean like to go canoeing in a river closer to civilazation where there are restroom along the river route. Or just river without SNAKES!
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

I have just had a very surrealistic dook discovery.... I don't recall ever shitting in a porta-potty, and have not shit in the woods in at least 25 years- I don't even remember what it was like!
I fear I am hopelessly spoiled by modern sanitation.....

Poothagoras ....Your comment just snapped me into the reality that I have never pooped in a porta-potty, I have pissed in them but never pooped in one. I have, however, taken many a dump in the woods and enjoyed each and every one of them.

_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Well, Chief, I can tell you as a neophyte Poop Reporter I have read enough from you all so far to be inclined to NEVER ruin my fondness for pooping by going in a porta-potty, and I have been wondering if I am missing something in the alfresco experience. The only thing that concerns me is my fondness for sitting comfortably and that my colon does not like to be rushed. I would assume that the proper uninhabited location and strategically placed branches would solve that problem.

I have pooped in a port a potty in the french quarter on the 40th anniversary of the Crescent City Classic. It was the first and last time I will enter a run. my stepfathet kept shaking the port a potty when I was trying to poo. I wouldn't sit on the seat so I had to poo during the whole run. I walked the run and if there were a prise for being almost last, I would have won.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

SP, don't let Honeyman trick you into taking the front position in the canoe. He will probably tell you that the stronger paddler should take the rear. I assure you that his intentions are to put his feet up, relax and watch you do all of the work.

Chief, I'd invite you to come up here and try one of our fine porta-potties, but I am afraid of being held as an accomplice if you blow one up in a crowded area.

I have a feeling I won't be canoeing with the Honeyman anyway. I'm not strong enough to row more than a few feet, most probably.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17