In a public toilet: Gross
C Everett Poop

Ew. Not even if it's dead winter and the toilet water is frozen and my ass is frost-bitten.

I like a warm seat, but if it has been warmed up by someone else, it just doesn't feel right. It has less of a warm feeling and more of a dirty feeling. It also causes me to become afraid of splashback during that visit. You would wash the bowl with boiling bleach, but if that seat is warm because of someone else, I will constantly feel dirty and afraid of splashback.

If someone keeps the seat warm you should tape a thank you note to the stall wall.

If it is from the buns of the one I love, I am very pleased. Anything short of that, is rather disturbing. I do not want to sit on my mother's but warmth. *shiver*

SamDamnit!
Rectum Rector
of
The Church of Poop
http://groups.myspace.com/THECHURCHOFPOOP

Sam, in your position as comment editor, you should know that "butt" is spelled with 2 Ts.
C Everett Poop

Datgummit! That's it! I am going to take the honorable way out. I will be commiting sepooku at dawn!
(that misspelling of "sepuku", was intentional)

SamDamnit!
Rectum Rector
of
The Church of Poop
http://groups.myspace.com/THECHURCHOFPOOP

The dread of sitting on a cold seat in winter, while not welcome, is anticipated and tolerable. Expecting cold and getting warmth is unsettling at best, and downright disturbing at times.

I couldn't ever make a toilet seat warm for the next person..... I don't put out enough body heat.

If some pretty woman has been sitting on it to drop an nice big log immediatelly before me then this is a turn on but not if it has been some man, especially if he has done a loose poo or had the runs and the stink is still hanging in the air.

if its a public toilet i dont like that but if its at home its ok but even if somone dont sit on my seat our radiator is right next to it :D

Give me a nice, cold, clean toilet seat, every time.

Piece Out!
Crapola

I was in a jail one time where they pumped the hot shower water thru thru one of those industrial jailhouse toilets. It was the greatest thing ever.

I can tolerate a warm seat if I see who has used the toilet last. If he is a clean looking person, no problem. I probably wouldn't even bother wiping the seat off. If he appears to be a slob... use another toilet

MMMMMM........a warm seat nothing better on a frosty day when there is no heat in the outhouse

There is nothing worse then the feeling of someone else's "Butt Heat". especially with the savage mutants I work with. BLECGH!!!!!

I can't stand a warm seat, no matter if I see or know who used it last. I'd prefer not to share in the heat generated by their ass, thankyouverymuch.

This discussion overlaps with another one from Dave earlier in the year, 'Preferred Toilet Seat Material.

There is also an article by 'Teddy Nutmeg' on his aversion to warm public seats, though he doesn't mind if staying with family.

Along with many other topics in PoopReport, this really is an ETERNAL debate, which will never be settled.

As others have expressed, it depends on whose butt provided the warmth. However, in most cases a warm seat is caused by a butt I'd rather not think about, and the warmth forces me to do that. And frankly, there are lots of people I'd rather not have come and sit immediately on a seat I've warmed either, because I don't want them thinking about my butt.

I'm sorry but I don't see the problem. For six months, every day, my mates at university followed each other every morning in quick succession on the one solitary bog in the house we shared. Three and a half years on, none of us has developed any AIDS or any other sexually transmitted disease. The guy who had crapped, when he had wiped his bum, always wiped the seat and then flushed it away. That was a bit of etiquette we developed among ourselves.

I was always told that any germs on the toilet seat would die immediately.

Having said that, my dad impressed on me that sometimes in life it comes to all of us to use a public toilet for reasons other than a pee, and he showed me how to wipe the seat with toilet paper, before I undid my belt, let alone sat down. I always did that at school.

I can't get uptight about sitting on a warm seat, if it is time for me to go.

I have an electrically-warmed toilet seat in my house :D No butts needed to warm it.

I'm OK with a warm seat provided I know the warmer and am comfortable with him/her but otherwise no way give, me a cold one.

Warm seats are disgusting! I am a germophobic and all I can imagine are all the germs left in the ass sweat of the previous sitter.

Then again, when the seat is cold it's far more disgusting because the bacteria can breed better at the colder temperature...

Excuse me, I have to go sterilize my toilet seat.

whether you know the warmer or not, i think its a pleasant suprise.

Artificially warmed: great

Biologically warmed: ew

An electric toilet seat would be a brilliant idea.

Biologically warmed. This is why some toilet seats spotaneously combust.

They already make electronic heated toilet seats, has anyone tried one of these:

Sweet! I've never used one, though.

at home, a prewarmed seat is awesome! outside the home, it just gives me the willies. I am fairly phobic to public facilities anyway... I always use a paper barrier in the vain hope of a small amount of separation between my cheeks and the seat. (in public facilities). It is not a good barrier for thermal insulation, however.

I have no problem with warm or cold seats. I just get perturbed if there is no seat at all. This is quite common in some public facilities in England and indeed in some not so public.

'Give a crap' (12.04.2005) says, obviously with relish:
'MMMMMM........a warm seat nothing better on a frosty day when there is no heat in the outhouse'.
I heartily concur.
When I was aged three, I stayed with my gran and granddad while my mum went into hospital to have my baby sister. For a few weeks before, I went to stay with them for a day or two a week. The idea was for me to get used to it, and to look upon it as a treat, not for my parents to get me out of the way. My grandparents and my teenage uncle, still at home, gave me a good time. My mother and her brother had not been the best of friends when she lived at home, because she bossed him about (as she still does ME!) When I was born, they started to get on better. He was pleased about being an uncle, and she was pleased at the way he took an interest in me.
I kept up my normal life as much as possible, and my grandparents lived near enough to take me to my playgroup each day. But each morning either my granddad or my uncle would take me to the outside toilet. I had grown out of the potty stage with a child seat at home. But there, it was different - either using a potty or sitting on the old fashioned wooden 'shelf' in the outhouse. (The child seat was no good for THAT toilet.) The middle lifted up for males, to cater for the majority of male visits.
The decision was made to let me look FORWARD rather than BACKWARDS, and to sit on this strange toilet rather than revert to the potty. I liked to go with my uncle rather than my granddad. My uncle let me see him sitting on the toilet, and I wanted to be a 'big boy' like him. I already had a good morning routine after breakfast, and he took me out with him. Sitting on that seat was something of an adventure for me. The wood meant that it wasn't too cold, though sometimes the general temperature was. It flushed with a chain which I couldn't reach, though I was lifted up to pull it. (As I got older, and went to 'sit outside' - the code among the males at my grandparents' house - they lengthened the chain handle with some rope when I was going to stay.) There was an eiderdown kept to put round our legs. The rule was that trousers and underpants had to be down as far as possible without taking them off. They taught me to wipe my bottom, partly to give my parents one less task to do when my baby sister was born. (My parents never neglected me, but I grew up wanting to do more personal tasks for myself.)
That outside toilet was well lagged to stop it freezing up or pipes bursting, and sometimes there was a small oil stove out there. This would now be considered dangerous, and it was turned off if I was going in on my own. My baby sister was born in the winter, when it WAS cold. But later on I usually stayed with them in warmer weather, and I LOVED being 'Knickersdown Nicholas' every morning, sitting on that 'shelf' for my daily shit. Granddad was very tolerant, because when I was smaller, he had to re-varnish the front panel of the toilet. As my feet didn't touch the ground, I had to have something to push against, to get me started, and I dug my feet on the front panel. (If the weather was good, I wore trainers or sandals, which caused less damage.) As I got bigger, I could reach the floor with the tip of my toes. (I also learned to lift up each buttock separately which eased things somewhat.)
They had to make sacrifices in getting my uncle through college and university, and it was many years before they could afford indoor facilities.
I am glad that I became 'toilet-confident' at such an early age. I grew up believing that health was more important than pride.
But give me a WOODEN seat any day!

Nicholas, I thoroughly enjoyed reading your recollections of early days on the crapper and how it was bound with family relations. It was a soothing antidote to the potent stuff we usually inhale here. Please consider working this up into a story you could submit to Dave for the front page, where it would receive the attention it deserves. You could be The Big Wiper of the UK.

Warm is better than cold. Someone elses's butt warmth is a welcome thought in freezing cold outhouse temperatures versus having your buttcheeks stuck to the seat like a tongue to a flagpole. Other than the frostbite issue, others butt-radiance is an icky thought, especially if there is boody-sweat left on the seat. cheers! poop-shooter

Now, here is a note from history. I just finished teaching a Sunday School series on Paul's letter to the Ephesians, and my research reveals that the public toilets at Ephesus (one of the largest and wealthiest cities of the day) were all made of marble.

MARBLE!! Get it, thou best beloved Pr's? Do you have any idea how COLD marble gets, and how LONG it takes to warm up? No, you don't, but the wealthy Ephesians did. Each morning, the Master would send his Servant down to the toilets an hour early, to claim a spot on one of the marble thrones (people must have been more regular in that day). The Servant would sit there, forbidden by law and custom to poop himself, but--literally--using how own butt to warm the seat for his Master.

This was always a "secret" between Master and Servant; hence the etiology of our present term "secretary."

I have two secretaries, Fartis and Windy, and I have failed miserably at getting them to see the fun in this arrangement.

Logjam - I am flattered by your compliments, but thanks, I will stick to making relevant comments to other people's articles.

At Christmas, my uncle as an extra 'joke' present, bought me a copy of the book about privies in the county where we grew up, and also gave my grandparents a copy. He had seen them 'remaindered' in a bookshop.

We have often talked about that glimpse of the past which we experienced, when most homes had indoor 'mod cons'.

This led me to surf the net, and somehow it led me to 'PoopReport'.

It was very prominent in my young life (and my uncle's).

Nasty!!! (**NASS-TAY**) I can see that I'm preaching to the choir here but the unexpected warmth of a seat in a public urinal is NEVER pleasant. That's why I prefer "the perch." Boobs on knees, one arm on doorhandle to help w/a quick ascent to avoid splashback, other arm usually holding up the bottom of my Gianormous winter coat (as I'm in MN & that's the norm Nov-Feb.) Wiping happens sans seat contact.-Thank God for pilates! As it can be a bit of a contortionists trick.- My Mom raised me w/a completely prohibitive approach to seat contact. You had to use a cover @ all times (I still prefer 2 if I have a choice b/c the left behind hover droplets of other ladies usually soak through.) Wiping IS doable people- just grab a giant wad that gives you adequate finger coverage- then swipe it & drop it! The only benefit to cleaning up after others is that the tossed TP helps prevent splashing. But still, why +add+ to the problem? I mean.. if you make a mess -right on.- It's your party baby! -But let's clean up our own funk, ok? And don't heat the seat unless your home w/ a good book & a warning for your roomate...peace and pass the ammunition!

Left behind droplets soak through? That's why you wipe the seat before you put your ass gaskets down, Phantom!

I don't even like sitting on a warm CHAIR! I like some cool-down time between uses, thanks.

_______
I CAN'T go to work today. The voices said to stay home and clean the guns!

You aren't cleaning them for use on Dumpster by any chance, are you, GGG?

No, Dumpie; you can come out from behind the stove, now. But it IS pretty comedic timing that I remembered that saying today, huh? :)

_______
I CAN'T go to work today. The voices said to stay home and clean the guns!

In his autobiographical "Boy" Roald Dahl tells how, as a junior at his public school, he was obliged to warm the seat for the prefect he "fagged" for, for fifteen minutes on cold winter's mornings before the senior pupil would deign to use it.
As few of us can afford such conveniences in these straightened times, I would appreciate a little serious debate about the availability of warm toilet seat covers. The Japanese apparently do these, and they may be available in the US, but not to my knowledge in the UK.

I don't mind a warmed toilet seat, as long as it in my own home, not in a public restroom.
_______
Jammin' lo'flo's since 1977.

I attend a large 1,550-student combined middle school and high school building. The most used girls' bathroom is in the main hallway that connects the gym, auditorium, cafeteria, and music complex. There are 15 stalls, all but two have doors, but if you need to go fast during the 4 minute passing periods you most likely will have to wait for a doored stall.
While me and my friends wait for a doored stall you can't help but notice that the seats in the two open stalls are wet--girls squat fast and take off even faster for class. There's a 5th grader, though, that me and my friends refer to as Mop. She walks through the line and and plops herself down on the wet seat. It's groooss! She then pulls her panties and jeans up and goes tearing off to class. It's more "inviting" for the next person to use the stall because Mop has done her job. I would NEVER sit on a wet school toilet seat, but Mop seems to have no problem with it. Even though the seat would be "warm" after she's used it, me and my friends are confident the other seats are cleaner.

I'm an education major and a couple of years older than the typical college student. I'm currently student teaching at the middle school level and the situation Underclassman wrote about concerning the girl who would sit on a urine-covered toilet in the open rather than wait for a doored stall is quite common.

While we have girls at my school who are very methodical about covering the seat with toilet paper--or at least doing a fast wipe of the seat before sitting down--there are a signficant number whose parents havent' talked to about properly using a public restroom.

My supervision duty (called "potty patrol" by my cooperating teacher) involves spending 45 minutes during 5th hour lunch in the bathroom. Occasionally, there is some smoking, I've heard of some fights in past semesters, but I'm constantly seeing girls rejecting a stall because there's urine on the seat only to have another girl come in and quickly sit in it. We also have girls that will use a toilet that three or four others have had a BM in and that hasn't been flushed. As many girls leave without washing their hands than do. Last week I had a student call to me to bring her some toilet paper since there was none in her stall--she was sitting on the bare seat eating an apple! I told her I didn't think that was the most appropriate or sanitary thing she could be doing. She replied that it was just "my opinion" and she was on break and could do as she pleased.

When I was about 7 or 8 my mom taught me how to put paper over public toilet seats, and if necessary, or to lift the seat with toilet paper and squat straddle. Once she caught me getting lazy at the circus and sitting directly on the seat. She grounded me for two days. I just don't see evidence that the students now are being taught proper hygiene by their parents. Therefore, there are lots more Mops out there.

The problems of users sitting in someone else's urine on a school toilet seat is not just limited to females, as described in the postings by Education Major and Upperclassman. On an almost daily basis, a few years ago when I was in high school, I saw boys perform the same function as Mop. The basement boys bathroom to our high school consisted of two urinals and two open-stalled toilets. During a four minute passing period, three or even sometimes four dozen boys would crowd in for a fast relief! While waiting for a urinal, I would see several different boys wait for a guy to finish peeing in a toilet and then they would quickly move in, drop their drawers, and sit on one warm but very moist toilet seat. They would then pull up their pants, grab their bookbag and make a run for their class. Few of them would take enough time to go to the sink and wash their hands. Therefore, the Mop situation is not just a female only problem. As for me, in my four years of high school I think I only had to take a shit three or four times at school. Each time I waited until I was on the second, third or fourth floors because the facilities were a lot larger up there and there were doors on the stalls. Sometimes, I guess, 'holding it' is better than what Mop did.

I'm not college educated, but I find the postings by Education Major, Upperclassman, etc. to be troubling. The "Mops" are obviously not socially trained and they need to be. If it were my daughter--and she's a couple of years just shy of middle school and high school--but I would hope the student teacher would pull her aside and explain to her some of the alternatives she has. I can't imagine my daughter ever being in a situation without a stall door because until a few months ago she INSISTED that I take her into the restroom with me, and often, when I had to go, that I use the stall immediately next to hers. However, there's something wrong with our school system if we're not teaching or even reinforcing proper restroom etiquette! The student teacher missed a great "teaching" opportunity!

"Airhead" you've got it wrong. What should or even can a school teach any child at any age about "restroom etiquette" when we was parents and a larger society can't agree! The Mops' parents may not care about the hygiene or lack thereof displayed by their daughters. If you use public restrooms as much as I do as a saleswoman who travels a lot, you'll see there's plenty of child as well as adult Mops out there! Are the schools going to "teach" seat covering--even if every stall had the protective liners I'm sure every child will dutifully put one down. Let's mandate washing hands, but how to you factor in studies that show that even in medical facilities and food service establishments, a significant number of employees don't vigorously wash, or even gingerly wash their hands. "Airhead", what you're proposing is easier said than done.

I'm 14 and in the 8th grade at middle school. I live in the midwest and our bathrooms at school get cold most every day because the windows are opened to get rid of the smoke from the many girls who smoke.

I wait for a stall to open even when there are vant stalls because that way I'm sitting down on a truly "warm" toilet seat. It takes me five to six minutes each morning to take my shit which I usually do during lst hour art class. I dread sitting down on a cold seat. Therefore I wait for a stall to open and it's much more comfortable using a warmed up seat. My best friend also feels this way and she just sits down for a couple of minutes to pee. She said she regulates herself to shit before she leaves home. I'm not able to do that so I will continue to seek out the next best thing: the warm toilet seat!

Not a fan of a toilet seat warmed by another's bum. I suppose I'm not keen on a freezing seat either, but I'd rather have the seat warmed in a less personal way. I think its best if the seat is warm because of the steam from a hot shower, though a moist toilet seat is a bit unsettling too.
_______
Recycle! Reduce! Reuse!
You can close the loop!
You can eat your poop!

I agree with Warm Wendy. Something I learned back in my school years in the 1980s could be applied here: it is better to be the warmee than the warmer. Living in Minnesota, this was crucial! I, too, would ignore vacant stalls and wait for a vacancy that I could immediately fill. Often when me and my two girlfriends walked to school together, we would stop in the first bathroom at the freshman-wing exit, wait for someone to exit and then each of us would keep the seat warm for the next. It worked for us and the alternative was prety cold and definitely constipating!

You will never hear a straight guy refer to another guy as his "boyfriend". When Warmee said she and her girlfriend warmed each other's seats, I have to admit it made me wonder if any guy would ever feel secure enough to do that for another guy...let alone talk about it later! Maybe we can add this to the list of things true friends do for each other. I suppose the ideal marriage also includes this: one person who likes cold toilet seats and is willing to warm it for the other, who likes them warm.
_______
Please, no more cracks about my ass.

And may I add a big welcome to 14 year old Warm Wendy, 4 posts up: Wendy, you seem a bit young for this site, but understand that you will be one of the standard bearers of a new generation who will carry poop discussions into the mid 21st century. Your contributions will always be welcome, and I hope you'll also listen to the sage words of your elders on this site. They have many legends to tell; they've fought the good fight, as have untold millions before them. Warm Wendy, spread the word among your peers: We no longer shit in isolation and we need not feel the world does not understand us!

I encourage you to register and log in with your posts. Just think, some day you might have 1,500 or more points! Okay, maybe you should concentrate on school, get good grades, participate in extracurricular stuff, go to a good college, have a nice career and marry a good guy. And then you can come on here and waste hours and hours of time telling us about those amazing shit episodes!
_______
Please, no more cracks about my ass.

Well as a firm believer in the HOME toilet advantage and since I live by myself, the luxury of having a warm toilet seat eludes me. I prefer a warm seat but I need to know who the warmee is. So welcome to Warm Wendy and I happen to agree with Bowl Clogger get good grades marry a good guy all that crap but of course a great poop story is always appreciated.

I agree with Warm Wendy and Warmee. School bathrooms can be cold. My school (I'm a college student) has the old-style radiators in the arts & sciences building where I have 12 of my 15 hours of classes. They don't heat up very well and because of legislative budget cuts, the campus wants to keep heat costs down as much as possible. That's tough when you're in North Dakota!

Although there are about 15 stalls on each floor, and a couple are usually vacant during each class break, like Wendy & Warmee I will wait for someone to vacate and I will gladly take their warm seat. Even then the warmest seats are available after about 10 a.m.; I often take my morning shit at about 7:30 a.m., just before my world civ class. Even though I wait for a just-used toilet, the seat is bareable, although not completely warm because it has only been used by one or two others. When I pee at mid-morning I find the seat is a lot warmer. I vaguely remember some formula or explanation of a "law" in AP physics a couple a years ago that would explain the reason for this, but I will choose a warm seat every time. My only turnoffs are if there's a bowl full of shit that's not flushed or a lot of pee on the seat. A few trickles don't worry me and I think a lot of times it's just water splashed up by the aggressive-sounding flushers. It's nice to know that our views are represented by the likes of Wendy and Warmee.

By the way, I experienced the coldest seat ever last January when me boyfriend and I stopped at a gas station. I had to pee bad and had been holding it for some time BUT I drained my kidneys in less than one minute. Even the toilet paper I wiped with was cold. I never looked in the bowl to see if my pee broke the ice.

I don't mind a warm seat. If it were warmed by a stranger, there would be a bit of an "ick" factor, but I'd get over it.

You people need to get a fucking life.

Me and my friends spend a lot of time on a large sledding hill at a public park near our homes. Sometimes we might stay out for four or five hours, a couple hundred of us on the large hill. There's also mothers and fathers with little children and even some grandparents with their grandchildren.

The park has a large set of restrooms, but because they are entered directly from the outside, they are typically cold--especially the seats. Therefore, although there are five or six stalls available, my friends and I take turns using the same one. The first person waits until a user comes out and then takes a warm seat, which they later give to the next person in line, etc. Even though it might be faster to take one of the unoccupied stalls, the cold seat, cold flusher, cold door latch, etc. are turnoffs. I've seen lines four and five persons deep for an occupied stall and warm seat. Occasionally, if I have to pee so bad that I can't wait, I will use one of the open stalls but I will sit over just the very front of the seat and use my panties as a shield to keep my butt warm. Yesterday I found it amusing hearing a mother yell at and practically force her daughter to sit down on the stool in the stall next to me. The little girl who was about five was crying that the seat was cold. She was basically shoved down by her mother and told that if she continued to complain, she could go home and pee there but they wouldn't be coming back to the park. I feel sorry for children like that who are basically being bullied by their parents.

I hate women who hover with a firey passion.

Ladies, it's the skin of your ass and thighs touching the seat. Ok, you don't want to sit in someone else's pee. Wipe the seat down, and then SIT DOWN. We don't have the aiming ability men are gifted with by biology, and all these women who are taught to hover by their mothers and teach their daughters the same are the ones who the rest of us are annoyed by because she peed all over the toilet we'd like to use.

I don't worry about it being warm, public or private. In public, it's one of the things that sometimes happens and I ignore. In private, well, given that my beloved and I both have Gut Issues, it is less important that the seat be warm or cold than that one is on it so that when my ass figures out if it's going to shit, fart, both, or just fake me out again it can do so with the minimum amount of cleanup necessary.

While I tend to agree with Anonymous Woman, it's difficult getting use to the variety of public bathrooms and what's available. For example, I work part-time for a telemarketing firm with a couple hundred employees and in each of the three ladies bathrooms we have toilet seat protectors. Although they are probably not that important in that they are not going to spare me from getting leprosy, they are nice to have and I use them. However, I know some of my co-workers don't and they regularly sit right down on the seat.

At school where I'm working on my MBA, the bathrooms are much larger and more frequently used. There are no seat protectors offered and I regularly have to sit down twice a day to pee and will shit once every day or two. I sit directly on the seat and because there's a line for each stall, if I were to find a dirty toilet and then retreat to the back of the line, I'd never make it to class on time. Like most of the ladies, I sit down quickly and hope for the best. Once or twice I've been too quick and I've taken a full shit, only to find that there's no toilet paper left in the dispenser.

Last year my boyfriend and I were at an Interstate reststop and I was on the stool of a two stall, open stall restroom when a mother and a girl about 10 came in and prepared to use the adjacent stall. The girl was literally forced to get up and interrupt her flow, when her mom noticed that she was sitting on the bare seat. I was sitting down also, and the mom flashed me a dirty look as she was disciplining her daughter. The fact that I'm native American didn't seem to help the situation when the mom started lecturing the girl.

If I could always hold it until I got home, I would but otherwise I seem to be becoming more conscious of the differing views regarding public toilet hygiene. I'm open to suggestions.

On 02.15.2007 Anonymous Woman (not verified) wrote: I hate women who hover with a firey passion.

Really? Most men I know would very much enjoy it if III were to hover with a fiery passion!

Mya brings up a valid point. You're sitting in an open stall bathroom, pants down while you're doing you thing. While you're warming the seat for the next occupant, that person arrives. She's a child about five or six in there without parental supervision. She sits about a foot or two in front of you. She's constantly looking you over. You pull your pants up to cover more of your crotch area as you continue to push and hope to get the last and biggest of your logs out. She says she has to pee and she keeps her eyes fixed on you. She starts to move around more and put her hands down in her crotch area. She complains that she has to pee reallll bad and can't wait. You curtail your shit, wipe and maneuver sideways as she drops her jeans and underwear and throws herself onto the stool. The burst of urine comes almost instantaneously as you reach over to push the flusher. What should the protocol be and how should it be taught to young kids? This happened to me two months ago and I was never recognized by the child for sufficiently warming the seat for her. I've only used an open stall public toilet twice since that time but the cleanliness and creepy eyes on me are worrysome. Worse yet, I never got the recognition as the seat warmer!

Wow. Second person POV. Don't see that, very often.

I'm just a couple years out of college and travel a minimum of 10 days a month for my sales job. Twice in the past few weeks, I've come across "warm" toilet seat situations. I'm not a mother (yet) and I don't know how to correctly handle these situations. First, while on a stopover for my flight in Kansas City, I saw the end stall door open and made a run for it. I was so embarrassed when I walked in on a young boy about 5 with his pants down and having a bowel movement. I walked up and grabbed the door and closed it, but since it wasn't going to be latched, it swung open again. He made a face, pointed down to what he was doing and didn't seem to see anything wrong. His mother came out of another stall, called his name, got him off the stool, wiped him, but didn't flush before I went in. She was swearing to him about how much time he was taking and possibly missing their connection in Minneapolis. In the other situation, I was at a large cafeteria and I needed to pee badly since I had been holding it for an hour while I was stuck in slow freeway traffic. One of the two stalls was had an out of order sign on it so I waited, and waited for the lone available stall. Based on the jeans and athletic shoes I saw under the door I surmissed that it was a teenage girl. However, I must have waited close to 10 minutes of her and her cell phone conversations to friends. To one of her friends she was bragging about deceiving her parents by sneaking the phone calls in while they were out on "family night." I was contemplating about taking my chances in the mens room across the hall when I finally heard her stand up, wipe and pull up her jeans. She, too, left without flushing and brushed by me like I was in the way! Are cold seats, flushed bowls and on-task behaviors in public restrooms a thing of the past?

I've got to be honest here, sitting on a warm seat kinda creeps me out and even when I'm absolutely desperate for a shit, I can't get over the fact someone's arse has been here just minutes previously. It's probably how people feel after I've sat there so it's swings and roundabouts really I suppose.

I just don't understand what the issue is all about. HOW DID ANY OF US GET THRU SCHOOL WITHOUT USING THE WARM TOILET SEAT? There were limited times (such as passing periods) and lines waiting to pee or shit as fast as we could and still making it to our next class on time. What did it mean when the fourth person sat on a seat during the last two minutes or so of a passing period? A warm toilet seat! Although there were a couple exceptions I can remember, a warm toilet seat was a POSITIVE attribute because if the seat wasn't warmed up, you had to look twice (sometimes three times due to dim lighting) for urine or shit dropped by the hoverers. In many cases we got to know who they were because via the half high stall doors, we could see them standing. They were sooo fussy about not having their body touch the seat, that it practically made some of us sick. I figured a hoverer added at least a minute to a toilet stop and I remember some that you just would know would be too insensitive to lift the seat before spreading their legs, and if they shat, contributing big time to water that would splash up on the seat. So is there any wonder why I took a special liking for warm toilet seats? Even now, whether it's at the mall or a stadium, I continue to take a liking to the warm seats. I'm 33,have a professional job and have never been sick a day in my life. Warm seats work for me!

I would NOT be able to pee or shit daily at my high school without using a warm seat. The reason is there's always (with the exception of 6 p.m. when detention room gets out)a line for the toilets. Last year as a freshman, I had an older girl compliment me for being the Fast Down/Fast Out Girl. I guess that means that I don't waste any time from the time the stall opens, to when I sit down, wipe, and quickly vacate the stall.
Yes, the seat is usually warm when I sit down. Sometimes I'm down on the stool within a minute of when the other girl vacated the stall. Occasionally there will be unflushed urine in the stool and I don't worry about flushing it before I sit down. I quickly sit down, pee and get up. Sometimes I don't think I'm on the stool for even a minute. However, I do flush if there's shit in the bowl before I sit down. I don't know why, but I just think that's gross! I know a few of the girls will take time to put toilet paper over the seat before sitting down, but I just think that's dumb. It takes time and it wastes toilet paper that could be put to better use by the next user. Occasionally, especially during the lunch hour, there might be some pee splashed on the seat. It would go right through the toilet paper if I was to put it down so I don't really worry about it.
What's most important to me is being able to pee and shit fast and without hassle. I'm just happy that we have the stall doors (although they are only half high) because there was an article in our student newspaper from a boy in my class who said shitting in an open stall two or three days a week has provided him with his worst memories of high school so far. I, too, think that would suck!

Crystal and FastDown/FastOut Girl represent a line of thinking I just don't understand. It's been a couple of years since I had an emergency bad enough to justify sitting directly down on a public toilet seat. Otherwise I always put paper over the seat or I stand over it to pee. The one time when I was ready to explode and had to sit directly down I hated it and I showered immediately when I got home. I just don't think some children are being properly taught by their parents, or if they have been, they are rebelling and choose to ignore it. Sitting on a just-used public toilet many times over in a given day is repulsive to me. I just don't understand why FastDown/FastOut Girl and Crystal, among others, practically brag it up! Gross!!

Anonymous Coward has no answer for the biggest questions: You're in a public bathroom or at school. All stalls are in use. When one comes open you should avoid it only because someone else has just warmed that seat? That's totally illogical, especially when you have only a five or six minute passing period at school AND you've been waiting to pee or poop! Trying to put toilet paper over the seat, is futile. I've given up on it. Deena' right: the seat warmers don't get the respect for what they do and that's VACATING the stalls ASAP for someone else to sit down?

I think Crystal and FastDown/FastOut Girl are absolutely spot on in everything they say. I'm FastDown/FastOut Man, I've been using public toilets to shit for thirty years, never covering the seat (but wiping away where necessary) and I'm never ill or sick (as regular readers will know!!). Like our two correspondents, I prefer a warm seat, and I don't really care who has warmed it. There is something quite comforting and relaxing about a warm seat. I absolutely hate getting shivers up my spine from a freezing seat when I sit down. I remember following a lady into a cubicle on a train recently - she'd obviously had a dump, but the seat was absolutely stone cold!!! I was quite disappointed that she must have 'hovered'!!

Hamster, Interesting tidbit there. I will discuss with you at length later.
Producing waste since 1967

Warm Confused Traveler frames the question well: "Are cold seats, flushed bowls, and on-task behaviors in public restrooms a thing of the past?" My answer is yes. I answer from the perspective of a full-time corporate employee and night school college student. I'm 25 and use bathrooms away from home three or four times a day. I'm surprised by the number of newer buildings that still have only three or four stalls in womens bathrooms that should be easily doubled, or better yet tripled, in numbers. Long lines put pressure on not only those using the stools, but those waiting. It can be very taxing to wait and know (largely by smell and noise) that each of the five persons in front of you emptied their bowels. Often that means limited, if any toilet paper available. Why more women don't take the time to flush, I don't know but I know it's a turn-off to have to flush somebody else's dump before sitting down and making your own contribution. On more than one occasion, I've almost crapped my thongs while waiting for the stall to open and the flush cycle to be completed so that I can sit down and crap. Ten and even fifteen minutes of warming a seat and not producing is TOO LONG and inconsiderate of those waiting and perhaps wondering if they should find an alternative restroom. Also, use of cell phones while on the stool only adds to stool time. One girl last week at my college's student center bathroom received four phone calls while she was on the stool and she placed a call about two minutes after I heard her pee stream stop. Warm Confused Traveler has the right idea. A user should be in a stall for only the absolute shortest necessary time. Enforcing that, however, is easier said than done!

Absolutely QMM - I just don't understand why people go in til they are ready to produce!! But with ladies, is it a question of going in for pee, then waiting to see if anything else comes out?? I just don't know!

Hamster (348) -- 08.21.2007 -- "...But with ladies, is it a question of going in for pee, then waiting to see if anything else comes out?..."

Sometimes, yes. At least for me. Sometimes I'm surprised. It's an exciting life I lead.

"Sometimes, yes. At least for me. Sometimes I'm surprised. It's an exciting life I lead."

GGG- Me too!! Maybe I need to get out more?
Producing waste since 1967

MSS - I refrain from comment!!!

MSS - Maybe you need to get more out, rather.

Question Mark Monique brings up some really good issues about why some public toilets, already in short supply, are even more crowded because of patrons not being focused on why they are in the stall. Yes, I expect to sit on a warm seat when I've waited for a stall to open in a crowded bathroom for more than ten or fifteen minutes. However, some users just don't seem to use common sense. Is it likely that when they got in line and had to crap that their need to move their bowels could be less likely to come after 10 or even 15 minutes of waiting? I know personally that such a wait makes it harder for me to get the comfortable feeling when minutes later I eventually get a stall, sit down, and try to evacuate my bowels. NO PERSON should be tying up a stall for a quarter hour or more when there is a line forming. There's a responsibility to vacate, give someone else the opportunity, and then to come back later. Yesterday, I must have waited 20 minutes for a stall during a trade show at our city auditorium. When the stall was finally vacated by a middle-aged lady who DIDN'T NEED to flush, I was pissed at having to try to make something good out of sitting on her warmed over seat several minutes after I had lost the urge to crap. Call it attitude if you want, but I was on the stool for three minutes, did my reasonable amount of pushing and repositioning of myself, and I--as had been the case with her--got up and vacated with an empty bowl and that clogged up feeling that hung with me until the next day. I may be cynical, but just sitting and wishing and hoping isn't going to get the job done! If anything I was losing potential customers and leads by leaving my company's booth unattended. Many times the warmed over seat is sympomatic of arrogant occupants who have no concept of effective time usage and their obligation to the next user. If you're not contributing something flushable to the bowl within two or three minutes, get up and get out!

Kaylynn! Bang on!! You are absolutely right. As an old friend of mine always used to say, 'shit or get off the pot!'

Kaylynn writes: "I may be cynical, but just sitting and wishing and hoping isn't going to get the job done. The warmed over seat is symtomatic of arrogant occupants who have no concept of effective time usage and their obligation to the next user." Spoken like a true businesswoman and probably one with no children.
Like Kaylynn, I do trade shows--two or sometimes three a month. Because school is not yet in session and because I am a single parent, I take my 9 year old daughter with me. She enjoys it and the presence of a child actually adds to the pitch for the line of products I represent. My Amanda is not too fond of public bathrooms and she has a spotty record of being productive. More than anything, what I am trying to do is to get her to gain confidence about going in, sitting down, trying to be successful and hopefully feeling less frustrated by her slowness to get her urine flow going or being able to completely move her bowels. WOMEN LIKE KAYLYNN ARE EXACTLY WHAT SHE DOESN'T NEED! Two weeks ago during a Friday show at our large exhibition center she sat down three times to go and with the exception of a little pee, she came down the ramp and to the booth with a total lack of confidence and, on the final occasion, she was crying. Why? The first time she was on the stool for about 10 minutes and because of the crowded conditions, an older lady pounded on the door and swore at her. She was told she was responsible for the accident this lady was about to have. She immediately pulled up her panties and shorts and came down to me. An hour later she went back, was just going into a stall with a good chance of dumping a two-day crap when another woman pushed in front of her with a younger child, saying that it was an emergency. Amanda said she waited for the stall and when they finally vacated, there was crap on the front of the seat and the bowl was full. Of course, they wouldn't think of flushing. When we opened the next morning I encouraged Amanda to go to another one of the complex's bathrooms and she was able to in just a couple of minutes take her crap (thankfully!) but was frustrated when she found there was no toilet paper in the stall. As she was sitting momentarily thinking about what to do, a teenager ordered her off the stool and said she was acting like a ******* for taking so long in the stall. Two to three minutes on the stool is not a long time and I feel so awful that Amanda is being jaded by such bad behaviors.
Although I've invested more than $10,000 in my display and another $5,000 in rent for each of the shows, my main concern is that Amanda needs successful public toilet experiences and the women the likes of Kaylynn and the others don't seem to have the empathy necessary. It may take a child longer on a public toilet until they get the confidence necessary. I was her age in 1975 and still remember some of my fears and experiences. However, others seem to have forgotten how tough it can be when you don't have confidence. I don't want Amanda impacted for the rest of her life by such ignorant people.

This is a touchy subject with Amanda because, as a frequent business traveler, I have seen both situations with children: those who take advantage of such a situation because they're bored and they just play around in the stall as well as those who are frustrated and just short of terrorized by having to use a public bathroom. The situation is made more complex because of the gender difference and the lack of direct parental supervision.

Given a chance, children--who are easily bored--will take advantage of hanging out in public bathrooms. Some are totally oblivious to the needs of others waiting, and as in the case with Amanda, busy adults that need to get back to their displays. I remember doing almost the exact same thing when I was forced to accompany my parents to adult functions. But on the other hand, the rudeness and lack of civility by so many adults is also troubling. That teenager with the mouth that basically bullied Amanda to vacate the stool was way out of line.

If I were the father, I would try and find Amanda bathrooms that were a little more out of the way. The smaller the better at such an exhibition facility. Although my daughter is seven years older than Amanda, when she is out shopping she prefers to use the restroom at the smaller clothing stores when at the mall, rather than the much larger, crowded and hectic bathrooms near the food court.

It sure is sad that so many teens and adults will try and take advantage of a vulnerable child.

Let there be no doubt about it: Amanda was bullied into giving up her warm toilet to a teenager who "ordered" her to get off the stool. Such treatment could impact Amanda for several years to come. Will she want to use large public bathrooms for fear that this will happen again. Sure she should have checked the toilet paper first, but she's NINE and not that experienced in using public bathrooms. What's more, her mother was not there to check things out for her and assist her. My belief is that if Amanda had held her ground and stayed on the stool while she thought the problem through, the teen would have inevitably gone into one of the other stalls when they opened. I feel so sorry for a vulnerable child in a situation like this. What anxieties is she likely to take with her as a result of this? Something tells me she's not going to be a happy camper next time she's on the stool in a crowded bathroom. I just hope that she doesn't fall into the trap that I did 20 years ago when I was her age and that's just hold it in until I got home or to a friend's house. The pediatrician told me and my mom in no uncertain terms: when you gotta go, you gotta go!

Quite right B&B! A very valid concern. As you say, it is a vulnerable situation for a nine year old, and the easiest way to avoid it, sadly, is to hold it in. Like you, that's what I did.

I'm appalled that a 9-year-old would be ordered off the stool, swore at, and apparently, taken advantages of twice by older women that should know better. There's probably women who feel that I spend too much time on the stool at my workplace, at my college, and at entertainment venues, but so be it. Once I pull my jeans down, drop my thong and place my butt on the seat, I'm in control and I'm not about to get up and vacate for anyone else's lack of patience, rudeness, or drama queen act. Like Amanda, I've been called some names and told that I'm causing some people to mess their pants or miss their flight, but in the past three years I've had a 100% success ratio each time I sit down and relax and I'm not about to allow some loser to dictate to or intimidate me. When I'm fully evacuated and wiped, I will vacate, but no sooner. I stand my ground and I have for the past 15 years or so when I was Amanda's age. She needs to learn to stick up for herself, take control of the situation, and not relinquish it!

AA - this is a good point and a lesson for people like me. I would never have treated Amanda as she was, but I'm a quick shitter and do get a bit impatient when people take up residence on the pot. Guess we are all different!

Who is Kaylynn to say that three minutes or more in a public toilet stall is excessive? Even 15 minutes, although that's as long as I'll ever stay on a stool to get my shit going, is sometimes a reality. I don't know why it is but sometimes I just have a hard time relaxing on a public toilet. I'm a 20-year-old college junior and one of my best shits came this fall when I was returning to school. I was at the airport, had to wait about five minutes for a stall to open, and once I sat down I expected to let go of about three days worth.

Once I dropped my jeans and panties and was just getting comfortable, there was a force that shook my stall so much that the latch on my door partially unlocked. The woman in the stall to the right had thrown the weight of a heavy luggage cart against the partition. I was startled so much that I almost spilled my Starbucks and with my unanticipated movement, the sensor went off from under me and while the splash I got was a lot cooler and in a less strategic place than the alternative, it shook me up. By spreading my legs farther and moving a bit closer to the front of the seat, I was able to get my bowel action going after about 10 minutes. Kaylynn, I assure you I don't like spending more time than necessary on a public toilet, but sometimes there's no alternative. I know I wouldn't have been able to produce with any more speed in mid-air. Toilets are warmed by by those of us who are victims of circumstances and those of us who don't want to get up in "defeat".

ooops...was trying to trigger a thermo nuclear conflict with Uzbekistan, and clicked on the wrong button...sorry....nothing to see here.

Madison - I think the point I and others have been trying to make is that some people try to shit before they are ready. No offence, but I just wonder if it takes you 15 minutes to get started, were you really ready to go in the first place?? I know I can often feel the crap there long before it's ready to come out. But when it is, we are talking about all being done and wiped within two minutes.

PS - but sorry about your seismic experience and its unfortunate aftermath, but if it still took you ten minutes to get going after that, I think that might kind of prove my point!

When I first read Madison's posting I thought what is anyone in their right mind doing sitting on a public toilet in a large airport restroom for 10 minutes or longer. My butt has never been placed on a public toilet until it is time for me to immediately pee or crap. Period! Two or three minutes at the most on the seat for me is enough. The grunts, noises and stench from the other stalls, irritable ladies waiting for my stall and the protuberant eyeballs in the door cracks are enough for me. Not to mention the sensors that Madison activated and the number of times my shoes (and I mean all types of shoes) will practically stick to the floor below the toilet. There have been a few times when if I can't get it going in two or three minutes, I will get up (yes, I know it's wrong to flush and lead people to believe something else!) and walk around at a mall or airport then in a few minutes when the need is more immediate, I can usually make it worth my sit. "Slow Shittin'" Madison is setting herself up for a lot of frustration and more accidents like she described by just willy nilly sitting and wishing for something to come out. Even with my fast-down/fast-out philsophy, I've had a few women and one tween-aged girl pound on the door out of anger. I don't subject myself to that and don't understand why Madison has to. She may be in college but there's something not taught on campuses today and that's "life skills".

I'd give you a 'great comment' for that Dani, but hey, what do I know!

I agree with Dani. Ten minutes sitting on a public toilet waiting/hoping for something to happen is way too long. You need to be considerate of the others waiting, especially the children who may not know how, or have the ability to "hold it" in until they get home or to a less traffiked place.

Being female, I know the embarrassment that can come from going into a toilet stall, sitting down, and then not being able to immediately produce. And I know it's tough on the guys too when they are at school. I remember my kid brother complaining about middle school. He would be sitting on an open stall toilet trying to have a bowel movement when some older students, who were impatient, started whipping out their organ and threatening to pee on him if he didn't immediately vacate the toilet. The intimidation worked until he got in high school and there was better supervision in the restrooms.

Sitting too long on a stool--especially in school or an airport--can be counter productive and contribute to either more types of harassment.

Considerate One is right. Those of us with children--mine are 4,6 & 8--know the worst situation is "Mommy, I have to pee real bad" and then trying to comfort them while we wait and wait in line while somebody like Madison is doing a ten-minute rest stop. I personally have knocked on stall doors and asked the occupants (all ages--no stereotypes here)if they were about done because often one of my daughters is within a minute or two of an accident.

One older lady was very cordial and said she was taking longer at the mall just to get off her feet. She even apologized when she vacated for us. However, one teenager was snotty and used a couple of words I typically wouldn't want my daughters to hear. She did leave, though, without flushing, and called me a bitch" under her breath. As I see it, there's common courtesy involved leaving a stall when you are just sitting and somebody with a greater need is involved.

Occasionally, perhaps once a month, we run into an uncooperative warmer whose response to "How long do you feel you'er going to be in there?" is something like unintelligible or "I don't know". With Gabby's bladder the way it is, we'll quickly made a trip to another level of a store or another set of restrooms at the Civic. Luckily we've walked fast enough so far, but the seat warmers like Madison can be frustrating to those of us with children and buldging and seemingly bursting bladders.

I'm a teenager, away from home a lot at the mall, at concerts and hanging out with my friends. I've been in stalls on five or six occasions peeing or crapping when someone like Mother of Three will knock on the door and tell me about an emergency. Once at Staples Center I had just sat down and my pee flow was starting and a woman pounded loudly on my door and said her daughter, who was about 5 or 6, was about to crap her pants. I immediately pulled up my thong and jeans, and stepped out so the little girl could go. She immediately went in, got up on the stool on her own, but sat there for like close to 10 minutes without producing. Although the mom thanked me and eventually pulled her daughter off the stool, it was I who was inconvenienced and the one who was already leaking a bit before I was able to sit down and resume my pee. Although it burst out fast and furiosly, I was in discomfort and because of what? A little girl who mislead her mother and who had seized an opportunity to warm a seat that she wasn't able to produce off of. My point is that although "seat warmers" may occasionally be made to look bad, some parents and children overreact. And whatever happened to the practice of making sure the young child uses the bathroom before he/she leaves home? My point is that legitimate public toilet users are and can be taken advantage of.

Let me get this straight: Samantha is on a public toilet, just starting her pee, when a mother comes and asks her to vacate the stall so her young daughter won't crap her pants. Samantha gets up and vacates immediately and waits outside 10 minutes while the girl warms the seat, but can't produce anything? That will NEVER happen with me! Once I'm down and starting the relief process, I will not stop for anyone. ANYONE! I was at a church Bible camp this summer and had just sat down in one of three stalls when one of the younger girls came running in saying she was about to have an accident. She knocked on all three doors, but learned she had to wait. I learned my lesson a few years ago in middle school when immature students would expect cuts in line and
immediate use of the stalls. In one situation, I did get up just as I was starting my first shit in three days. Just two minutes outside the stall while I waited for the girl to pee, kept me from ending my constipation for another day. I guess that once my butt touches the seat, nothing gets me off it until I'm finished.

Warm toilet seat is disgusting, and like samdamnit said, it's especially disturbing when it is your mom... (I don't know why)

I'm 13. I am in middle school. Escept at 7:30 or so in the morning, our seats are always warm because they are being used throughout the day. This is especially true during passing periods. Three or four of us may take turns using a stall betwen classes or during lunch periods. I like warm seats more than cold. At the mall and at some of the stores we hang out at, the seats this time of year are often cold. Me and my friends prefer the warm ones.

warm seat whether it be on a public toilet or at home is awful! I'd rather have a nice cold seat!

It's a little bit creepy to sit on a warm seat, knowing that just a minute or so prior to your ass sitting on it somebody else's ass was planted on it. Unless it was somebody you've really got the hots for that was sitting there previously, then it's not that bad, I guess.

Does this make any sense at all?

I guess if someone I had the hots for, warmed up the seat before me, then one of us used the wrong bathroom.

oops

So prarie doggin, just a suggestion. You needn't restrict yourself to seeing that special lady only in public places. Going to her place can be kinda nice. And don't be surprised if, unlike your place, hers doesn't have little pants and skirts signage on the bathroom doors. Again, just a suggestion.

In a busy public place, a warmed seat would not be remarkable. What would be unusual is a cold seat: if someone leaves a stall, I enter it, and I find the seat is cold (yet down), I'd wonder what method or trajectory of expulsion the previous donor used, and whether anything tiny but turdy had hit the seat. At least if the seat is warm, we know what part of the anatomy produced that effect.

Guess I had public shitter on my mind. You'll see why when you see my next poem.

MSG, you have a good point. Cold seat in a busy bathroom, could mean some hoverage was involved, or someone with an ice cold ass was there.

well warm is nice at home it feels like a luxury, but in public it feels like letting a stray cat snuggle on your butt and you know which stray cat i'm talking about the one that looks like a walking culture dish