Eternal Debates: The Warm Toilet Seat

// // 112 Comments
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content Moderatora 10000+ points - Super Pooperb 9000+ pointsc 8000+ pointsd 7000+ pointse 6000+ pointsf 5000+ pointsg 4000+ pointsh 3000+ pointsi 2000+ pointsj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb
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THE ISSUE:

A seat warmed up by someone else's butt. Your thoughts?

112 Comments on "Eternal Debates: The Warm Toilet Seat"

C Everett Poop's picture
j 1000+ points

In a public toilet: Gross
C Everett Poop

Cyanocobalamin's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Ew. Not even if it's dead winter and the toilet water is frozen and my ass is frost-bitten.

Go Away's picture

I like a warm seat, but if it has been warmed up by someone else, it just doesn't feel right. It has less of a warm feeling and more of a dirty feeling. It also causes me to become afraid of splashback during that visit. You would wash the bowl with boiling bleach, but if that seat is warm because of someone else, I will constantly feel dirty and afraid of splashback.

CC's picture

If someone keeps the seat warm you should tape a thank you note to the stall wall.

SamDamnit's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

If it is from the buns of the one I love, I am very pleased. Anything short of that, is rather disturbing. I do not want to sit on my mother's but warmth. *shiver*

SamDamnit!
Rectum Rector
of
The Church of Poop
http://groups.myspace.com/THECHURCHOFPOOP

SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan

C Everett Poop's picture
j 1000+ points

Sam, in your position as comment editor, you should know that "butt" is spelled with 2 Ts.
C Everett Poop

SamDamnit's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

Datgummit! That's it! I am going to take the honorable way out. I will be commiting sepooku at dawn!
(that misspelling of "sepuku", was intentional)

SamDamnit!
Rectum Rector
of
The Church of Poop
http://groups.myspace.com/THECHURCHOFPOOP

SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan

Splatterbuns's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

The dread of sitting on a cold seat in winter, while not welcome, is anticipated and tolerable. Expecting cold and getting warmth is unsettling at best, and downright disturbing at times.

Cyanocobalamin's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

I couldn't ever make a toilet seat warm for the next person..... I don't put out enough body heat.

Jobber's picture

If some pretty woman has been sitting on it to drop an nice big log immediatelly before me then this is a turn on but not if it has been some man, especially if he has done a loose poo or had the runs and the stink is still hanging in the air.

Alex's picture

if its a public toilet i dont like that but if its at home its ok but even if somone dont sit on my seat our radiator is right next to it :D

Crapola's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorl 100+ points

Give me a nice, cold, clean toilet seat, every time.

Piece Out!
Crapola

Piece Out!
Crapola

paradise pooper's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

I was in a jail one time where they pumped the hot shower water thru thru one of those industrial jailhouse toilets. It was the greatest thing ever.

Anonymous Coward's picture

I can tolerate a warm seat if I see who has used the toilet last. If he is a clean looking person, no problem. I probably wouldn't even bother wiping the seat off. If he appears to be a slob... use another toilet

give a crap's picture

MMMMMM........a warm seat nothing better on a frosty day when there is no heat in the outhouse

Log Flume's picture

There is nothing worse then the feeling of someone else's "Butt Heat". especially with the savage mutants I work with. BLECGH!!!!!

Ulala's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

I can't stand a warm seat, no matter if I see or know who used it last. I'd prefer not to share in the heat generated by their ass, thankyouverymuch.

Sitting Wiper's picture

This discussion overlaps with another one from Dave earlier in the year, 'Preferred Toilet Seat Material.

There is also an article by 'Teddy Nutmeg' on his aversion to warm public seats, though he doesn't mind if staying with family.

Along with many other topics in PoopReport, this really is an ETERNAL debate, which will never be settled.

Logjam's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

As others have expressed, it depends on whose butt provided the warmth. However, in most cases a warm seat is caused by a butt I'd rather not think about, and the warmth forces me to do that. And frankly, there are lots of people I'd rather not have come and sit immediately on a seat I've warmed either, because I don't want them thinking about my butt.

Logjam

Doctor Kevin the Grad's picture

I'm sorry but I don't see the problem. For six months, every day, my mates at university followed each other every morning in quick succession on the one solitary bog in the house we shared. Three and a half years on, none of us has developed any AIDS or any other sexually transmitted disease. The guy who had crapped, when he had wiped his bum, always wiped the seat and then flushed it away. That was a bit of etiquette we developed among ourselves.

I was always told that any germs on the toilet seat would die immediately.

Having said that, my dad impressed on me that sometimes in life it comes to all of us to use a public toilet for reasons other than a pee, and he showed me how to wipe the seat with toilet paper, before I undid my belt, let alone sat down. I always did that at school.

I can't get uptight about sitting on a warm seat, if it is time for me to go.

Anonymous Coward (Is this Slashcode?)'s picture

I have an electrically-warmed toilet seat in my house :D No butts needed to warm it.

Bunga Din's picture
j 1000+ points

I'm OK with a warm seat provided I know the warmer and am comfortable with him/her but otherwise no way give, me a cold one.

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Warm seats are disgusting! I am a germophobic and all I can imagine are all the germs left in the ass sweat of the previous sitter.

Then again, when the seat is cold it's far more disgusting because the bacteria can breed better at the colder temperature...

Excuse me, I have to go sterilize my toilet seat.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

stankmak's picture

whether you know the warmer or not, i think its a pleasant suprise.

towelsoaker's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Artificially warmed: great

Biologically warmed: ew

An electric toilet seat would be a brilliant idea.

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Biologically warmed. This is why some toilet seats spotaneously combust.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

Newb's picture

They already make electronic heated toilet seats, has anyone tried one of these:

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Sweet! I've never used one, though.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

woknblues's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

at home, a prewarmed seat is awesome! outside the home, it just gives me the willies. I am fairly phobic to public facilities anyway... I always use a paper barrier in the vain hope of a small amount of separation between my cheeks and the seat. (in public facilities). It is not a good barrier for thermal insulation, however.

Pantsdown Pete's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

I have no problem with warm or cold seats. I just get perturbed if there is no seat at all. This is quite common in some public facilities in England and indeed in some not so public.

Pantsdown Pete

Knickersdown Nicholas's picture

'Give a crap' (12.04.2005) says, obviously with relish:
'MMMMMM........a warm seat nothing better on a frosty day when there is no heat in the outhouse'.
I heartily concur.
When I was aged three, I stayed with my gran and granddad while my mum went into hospital to have my baby sister. For a few weeks before, I went to stay with them for a day or two a week. The idea was for me to get used to it, and to look upon it as a treat, not for my parents to get me out of the way. My grandparents and my teenage uncle, still at home, gave me a good time. My mother and her brother had not been the best of friends when she lived at home, because she bossed him about (as she still does ME!) When I was born, they started to get on better. He was pleased about being an uncle, and she was pleased at the way he took an interest in me.
I kept up my normal life as much as possible, and my grandparents lived near enough to take me to my playgroup each day. But each morning either my granddad or my uncle would take me to the outside toilet. I had grown out of the potty stage with a child seat at home. But there, it was different - either using a potty or sitting on the old fashioned wooden 'shelf' in the outhouse. (The child seat was no good for THAT toilet.) The middle lifted up for males, to cater for the majority of male visits.
The decision was made to let me look FORWARD rather than BACKWARDS, and to sit on this strange toilet rather than revert to the potty. I liked to go with my uncle rather than my granddad. My uncle let me see him sitting on the toilet, and I wanted to be a 'big boy' like him. I already had a good morning routine after breakfast, and he took me out with him. Sitting on that seat was something of an adventure for me. The wood meant that it wasn't too cold, though sometimes the general temperature was. It flushed with a chain which I couldn't reach, though I was lifted up to pull it. (As I got older, and went to 'sit outside' - the code among the males at my grandparents' house - they lengthened the chain handle with some rope when I was going to stay.) There was an eiderdown kept to put round our legs. The rule was that trousers and underpants had to be down as far as possible without taking them off. They taught me to wipe my bottom, partly to give my parents one less task to do when my baby sister was born. (My parents never neglected me, but I grew up wanting to do more personal tasks for myself.)
That outside toilet was well lagged to stop it freezing up or pipes bursting, and sometimes there was a small oil stove out there. This would now be considered dangerous, and it was turned off if I was going in on my own. My baby sister was born in the winter, when it WAS cold. But later on I usually stayed with them in warmer weather, and I LOVED being 'Knickersdown Nicholas' every morning, sitting on that 'shelf' for my daily shit. Granddad was very tolerant, because when I was smaller, he had to re-varnish the front panel of the toilet. As my feet didn't touch the ground, I had to have something to push against, to get me started, and I dug my feet on the front panel. (If the weather was good, I wore trainers or sandals, which caused less damage.) As I got bigger, I could reach the floor with the tip of my toes. (I also learned to lift up each buttock separately which eased things somewhat.)
They had to make sacrifices in getting my uncle through college and university, and it was many years before they could afford indoor facilities.
I am glad that I became 'toilet-confident' at such an early age. I grew up believing that health was more important than pride.
But give me a WOODEN seat any day!

Logjam's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Nicholas, I thoroughly enjoyed reading your recollections of early days on the crapper and how it was bound with family relations. It was a soothing antidote to the potent stuff we usually inhale here. Please consider working this up into a story you could submit to Dave for the front page, where it would receive the attention it deserves. You could be The Big Wiper of the UK.

Logjam

Poop Shooter's picture
k 500+ points

Warm is better than cold. Someone elses's butt warmth is a welcome thought in freezing cold outhouse temperatures versus having your buttcheeks stuck to the seat like a tongue to a flagpole. Other than the frostbite issue, others butt-radiance is an icky thought, especially if there is boody-sweat left on the seat. cheers! poop-shooter

Poop Shooter!

The Dumpster's picture
i 2000+ points

Now, here is a note from history. I just finished teaching a Sunday School series on Paul's letter to the Ephesians, and my research reveals that the public toilets at Ephesus (one of the largest and wealthiest cities of the day) were all made of marble.

MARBLE!! Get it, thou best beloved Pr's? Do you have any idea how COLD marble gets, and how LONG it takes to warm up? No, you don't, but the wealthy Ephesians did. Each morning, the Master would send his Servant down to the toilets an hour early, to claim a spot on one of the marble thrones (people must have been more regular in that day). The Servant would sit there, forbidden by law and custom to poop himself, but--literally--using how own butt to warm the seat for his Master.

This was always a "secret" between Master and Servant; hence the etiology of our present term "secretary."

I have two secretaries, Fartis and Windy, and I have failed miserably at getting them to see the fun in this arrangement.

Knickersdown Nicholas's picture

Logjam - I am flattered by your compliments, but thanks, I will stick to making relevant comments to other people's articles.

At Christmas, my uncle as an extra 'joke' present, bought me a copy of the book about privies in the county where we grew up, and also gave my grandparents a copy. He had seen them 'remaindered' in a bookshop.

We have often talked about that glimpse of the past which we experienced, when most homes had indoor 'mod cons'.

This led me to surf the net, and somehow it led me to 'PoopReport'.

It was very prominent in my young life (and my uncle's).

The Phantom Dook is a Spooky Kook!'s picture

Nasty!!! (**NASS-TAY**) I can see that I'm preaching to the choir here but the unexpected warmth of a seat in a public urinal is NEVER pleasant. That's why I prefer "the perch." Boobs on knees, one arm on doorhandle to help w/a quick ascent to avoid splashback, other arm usually holding up the bottom of my Gianormous winter coat (as I'm in MN & that's the norm Nov-Feb.) Wiping happens sans seat contact.-Thank God for pilates! As it can be a bit of a contortionists trick.- My Mom raised me w/a completely prohibitive approach to seat contact. You had to use a cover @ all times (I still prefer 2 if I have a choice b/c the left behind hover droplets of other ladies usually soak through.) Wiping IS doable people- just grab a giant wad that gives you adequate finger coverage- then swipe it & drop it! The only benefit to cleaning up after others is that the tossed TP helps prevent splashing. But still, why +add+ to the problem? I mean.. if you make a mess -right on.- It's your party baby! -But let's clean up our own funk, ok? And don't heat the seat unless your home w/ a good book & a warning for your roomate...peace and pass the ammunition!

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Left behind droplets soak through? That's why you wipe the seat before you put your ass gaskets down, Phantom!

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

GottaGoGirl's picture
i 2000+ points

I don't even like sitting on a warm CHAIR! I like some cool-down time between uses, thanks.


_______
I CAN'T go to work today. The voices said to stay home and clean the guns!

The Dumpster's picture
i 2000+ points

You aren't cleaning them for use on Dumpster by any chance, are you, GGG?

GottaGoGirl's picture
i 2000+ points

No, Dumpie; you can come out from behind the stove, now. But it IS pretty comedic timing that I remembered that saying today, huh? :)


_______
I CAN'T go to work today. The voices said to stay home and clean the guns!

Richard's picture

In his autobiographical "Boy" Roald Dahl tells how, as a junior at his public school, he was obliged to warm the seat for the prefect he "fagged" for, for fifteen minutes on cold winter's mornings before the senior pupil would deign to use it.
As few of us can afford such conveniences in these straightened times, I would appreciate a little serious debate about the availability of warm toilet seat covers. The Japanese apparently do these, and they may be available in the US, but not to my knowledge in the UK.

healthy 1's picture
j 1000+ points

I don't mind a warmed toilet seat, as long as it in my own home, not in a public restroom.
_______
Jammin' lo'flo's since 1977.

"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

Upperclassman's picture

I attend a large 1,550-student combined middle school and high school building. The most used girls' bathroom is in the main hallway that connects the gym, auditorium, cafeteria, and music complex. There are 15 stalls, all but two have doors, but if you need to go fast during the 4 minute passing periods you most likely will have to wait for a doored stall.
While me and my friends wait for a doored stall you can't help but notice that the seats in the two open stalls are wet--girls squat fast and take off even faster for class. There's a 5th grader, though, that me and my friends refer to as Mop. She walks through the line and and plops herself down on the wet seat. It's groooss! She then pulls her panties and jeans up and goes tearing off to class. It's more "inviting" for the next person to use the stall because Mop has done her job. I would NEVER sit on a wet school toilet seat, but Mop seems to have no problem with it. Even though the seat would be "warm" after she's used it, me and my friends are confident the other seats are cleaner.

Education Major's picture

I'm an education major and a couple of years older than the typical college student. I'm currently student teaching at the middle school level and the situation Underclassman wrote about concerning the girl who would sit on a urine-covered toilet in the open rather than wait for a doored stall is quite common.

While we have girls at my school who are very methodical about covering the seat with toilet paper--or at least doing a fast wipe of the seat before sitting down--there are a signficant number whose parents havent' talked to about properly using a public restroom.

My supervision duty (called "potty patrol" by my cooperating teacher) involves spending 45 minutes during 5th hour lunch in the bathroom. Occasionally, there is some smoking, I've heard of some fights in past semesters, but I'm constantly seeing girls rejecting a stall because there's urine on the seat only to have another girl come in and quickly sit in it. We also have girls that will use a toilet that three or four others have had a BM in and that hasn't been flushed. As many girls leave without washing their hands than do. Last week I had a student call to me to bring her some toilet paper since there was none in her stall--she was sitting on the bare seat eating an apple! I told her I didn't think that was the most appropriate or sanitary thing she could be doing. She replied that it was just "my opinion" and she was on break and could do as she pleased.

When I was about 7 or 8 my mom taught me how to put paper over public toilet seats, and if necessary, or to lift the seat with toilet paper and squat straddle. Once she caught me getting lazy at the circus and sitting directly on the seat. She grounded me for two days. I just don't see evidence that the students now are being taught proper hygiene by their parents. Therefore, there are lots more Mops out there.

Trevor T.'s picture

The problems of users sitting in someone else's urine on a school toilet seat is not just limited to females, as described in the postings by Education Major and Upperclassman. On an almost daily basis, a few years ago when I was in high school, I saw boys perform the same function as Mop. The basement boys bathroom to our high school consisted of two urinals and two open-stalled toilets. During a four minute passing period, three or even sometimes four dozen boys would crowd in for a fast relief! While waiting for a urinal, I would see several different boys wait for a guy to finish peeing in a toilet and then they would quickly move in, drop their drawers, and sit on one warm but very moist toilet seat. They would then pull up their pants, grab their bookbag and make a run for their class. Few of them would take enough time to go to the sink and wash their hands. Therefore, the Mop situation is not just a female only problem. As for me, in my four years of high school I think I only had to take a shit three or four times at school. Each time I waited until I was on the second, third or fourth floors because the facilities were a lot larger up there and there were doors on the stalls. Sometimes, I guess, 'holding it' is better than what Mop did.

Not An Airhead!'s picture

I'm not college educated, but I find the postings by Education Major, Upperclassman, etc. to be troubling. The "Mops" are obviously not socially trained and they need to be. If it were my daughter--and she's a couple of years just shy of middle school and high school--but I would hope the student teacher would pull her aside and explain to her some of the alternatives she has. I can't imagine my daughter ever being in a situation without a stall door because until a few months ago she INSISTED that I take her into the restroom with me, and often, when I had to go, that I use the stall immediately next to hers. However, there's something wrong with our school system if we're not teaching or even reinforcing proper restroom etiquette! The student teacher missed a great "teaching" opportunity!

Anonymous Coward's picture

"Airhead" you've got it wrong. What should or even can a school teach any child at any age about "restroom etiquette" when we was parents and a larger society can't agree! The Mops' parents may not care about the hygiene or lack thereof displayed by their daughters. If you use public restrooms as much as I do as a saleswoman who travels a lot, you'll see there's plenty of child as well as adult Mops out there! Are the schools going to "teach" seat covering--even if every stall had the protective liners I'm sure every child will dutifully put one down. Let's mandate washing hands, but how to you factor in studies that show that even in medical facilities and food service establishments, a significant number of employees don't vigorously wash, or even gingerly wash their hands. "Airhead", what you're proposing is easier said than done.

Warm Wendy's picture

I'm 14 and in the 8th grade at middle school. I live in the midwest and our bathrooms at school get cold most every day because the windows are opened to get rid of the smoke from the many girls who smoke.

I wait for a stall to open even when there are vant stalls because that way I'm sitting down on a truly "warm" toilet seat. It takes me five to six minutes each morning to take my shit which I usually do during lst hour art class. I dread sitting down on a cold seat. Therefore I wait for a stall to open and it's much more comfortable using a warmed up seat. My best friend also feels this way and she just sits down for a couple of minutes to pee. She said she regulates herself to shit before she leaves home. I'm not able to do that so I will continue to seek out the next best thing: the warm toilet seat!

Barking Spider of the Carolinas's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Not a fan of a toilet seat warmed by another's bum. I suppose I'm not keen on a freezing seat either, but I'd rather have the seat warmed in a less personal way. I think its best if the seat is warm because of the steam from a hot shower, though a moist toilet seat is a bit unsettling too.
_______
Recycle! Reduce! Reuse!
You can close the loop!
You can eat your poop!

Recycle! Reduce! Reuse!
You can close the loop!
You can eat your poop!

Warmee's picture

I agree with Warm Wendy. Something I learned back in my school years in the 1980s could be applied here: it is better to be the warmee than the warmer. Living in Minnesota, this was crucial! I, too, would ignore vacant stalls and wait for a vacancy that I could immediately fill. Often when me and my two girlfriends walked to school together, we would stop in the first bathroom at the freshman-wing exit, wait for someone to exit and then each of us would keep the seat warm for the next. It worked for us and the alternative was prety cold and definitely constipating!

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