There's alot to be said for plastic gloves..........

Have you considered counseling/therapy? Right about the plastic gloves....only like $2 for a huge box of medical gloves. I bet your dad when he ordered you to take a shower because he had "picked up the smell" also has your problem. You should confront him and confess, maybe it is hereditary, and he is also ashamed.

Jesus God!! How disturbing! I somehow couldn't stop picturing a dude that looks like TCM and Shitman put together. Fortunately for us, Daphne gave us some intellectual crap on reasons why people mess with their crap. I'm sure this guy's parents are Satanic and he was subject to Satanic Ritual Abuse. And that-ah, thank the Holy Lord Above-ah, is why he's now seeking-ah Salvation-ah from JEE-ZUS!! (said in a preacher voice).

My advice to TAG is to be a bit introspective about this. It sounds to me like you're ignoring the causes of this, trying to pray for it to go away. I think you need to do research to understand what causes this compulsion in you. In the Re/Search Guide to Bodily Fluids by Paul Spinrad, he talks about the different psychologicla issues that lead one down this path. TAG, you need to read this, so you can understand that this isn't the devil tempting you -- this is your psychology, and your psychology can be changed.

But hating yourself isn't helping. It's making things worse.

Sorry my man, but God has nothing to do with this. I'd do what Dave suggests, read up on it if you must, but that may be more likely to get you even more interested in it.

Best bet is to get a pyschiatrist, of course that would be hard considering you're living with your parents, whom it appears to me must be Jesus-freaks.

You just have to stop, instead of playing with your poop, try playing with your willy while you're on the toilet...that might be more enjoyable.

Holy God, get the fuck off of this website now and get yourself into some therapy! I'm not normally so rash towards anyone, but in this case, its for your own good. This site isn't for you man, you're looking for a totally different type of 'Reporting. Stay the fuck off of this site for your own sanity.

to threeply:
nice job asshole. don't judge people. if TAG wants to judge himself, that's up to him, but its not right for you to decide who's sick and who's "normal"

Hey Jade:
Nice job. Why are you telling someone what's "right"? We can judge people if we want and obviously, TAG is a sick fuck!!

I say keep doing what you are doing and live with it.
The more you try to stop the more guilty you will feel because you can't stop and the more intense the "problem" will become.

Like with me and the booze. I tried to stop because I was drinking too much. But the more I tried to quit the more I wanted to drink and when I did breakdown and hit the bottle I got even more liquored up then normal.
Then I would come down and feel even more guilty and the whole cycle would continue.
Now I drink in moderation and don't let it worry me. Sure it's not good for me but I like it and it's my life.

You are probably a hopeless, disgusting case. I doubt that you will really be able to stop. Buy yourself a box of latex gloves, research some more powerful cleaning agents and for God's sake DO NOT put it in your mouth. At least you will be disgusting in a safe way. There are probably online communities and dating services for people like you. You are better off just going with it and doing things as responsibly as possible rather than continuing the way you are, risking being ostracized by family & friends and slowly hating yourself more and more.

Good luck and good squooshing, you sick pervert.

What's with all the stuff about Jesus & God? I guess I missed the commandment that says 'Thou shalt not mess around with thine own poop.'

I can't imagine that God or Jesus gives 2 shits about whether you play with your own shit. Stop trying to superimpose your guilty feelings about shit onto God. Your hangups, self-loathing and embarrassments are your own - not Christ's.

This is a type of obsessive-compulsive behaviour, at the very least.

THERE IS HELP/MEDICAL TREATMENT AVAILABLE. You really need to talk to a doctor about this.

Please, seek some help. Your parents don't need to know WHY you are going. Tell them you are depressed or something. The doctor cannot tell your parents, either.

But go, before guilt and shame cause you to do something worse.

Good luck to you.

just use the turd replacement therapy (TRT) to gradually ease off your addiction

What a dumbass. If this person is telling the truth then he needs to get help. A bath in gasoline, then drying with a blowtorch will do nicely. What a loser

TAG: I would have to agree with Poonurse. This is some sort of obsessive paraphilic (sexual arousings outside of the "norm": sexual fantasies, feelings, or activities involving a nonhuman object, a nonconsenting partner). It sounds like Coprophilia, the sexual arousings from human excretment. I did some reading after I read your story and I found that this is some unusual form of OCD. If it bothers you I would definteally advise you seeking couciling, and if not, don't worry about it. Do what makes you happy, there are other people who are into that (sick) stuff too, just remember your not alone!

PS: Thats really sketchy that your posting this up, and then brining religion into. Reallly sketchy. It almost sounds like you ARE comfortable with it, because of your vivid descriptions

Umm, me thinks that this whole article smells of a bit of satire. He took a masturbation story and replaced it with poop references. Lampooning, parody,pastiche! Satire, people! Go to TheOnion.com and review the concept :D

Ew! I don't know what else to say. And I don't know which is grosser, the poop fetish or the sickening Christian propaganda.

Excuse me while I go vomit!

I didn't enjoy all the God/Jesus references at all either. I grew up in church and went to church school for a couple of years so I do know quite a bit about the Bible. I just chose not to believe it. I prefer not to read about it when I come to PoopReport to laugh at poop stories either.
I have no idea why the hell anyone would wanna do this type of thing. Poop is so full of nasties and STINKS so what the hell could possibly be the turn-on?! Yes, please seek professional help at once because you are one sickeningly disturbed individual.

Now I know I said I would not makie any more visits to PoopReport, but I had to get feedback, and I have to say that you guys are an answer to prayer. Have you ever been an answer to prayer before? Its an interesting feeling when you realise you have.

I DO know what the cause of the problem is. The problem is that everyone of us, including myself, is inclined to do wrong things, and I let my self completely slip into that reality, where I didn't care what was right, if it felt good, fine.

I know in this story I promised to stop my obsession (with Gods help), but I guess I didn't really want his help, therefore He couldn't help me. I have been comitting these deeds on a weekly basis since this story, I am sorry to admit, and in my moments of sanity I had prayed for a way out. When Dave emailed me to tell me that the story was finally up, seeing your reactions hit the fact home that I really am a sicko, and that is something I dont want to be. Seeing your reactions I think is enough to make me stop. Thankyou for being an answer to my prayer. This, I promise, will be my last corresspondace with PoopReport. Say what you will about me, but turst in the fact that I have heard enough to turn around, and that I'm not going to be around any more to hear it.

Hey Jade, fuck you. If you think TAG is normal, then why don't you wipe some shit on your ass and walk around with it for a while.

I have to say that the God and Jesus references make this sound fake, which others have said. However, if it is true you need to seek help, which others already have said. Poop is waste, it's not meant to be played with. Plus if you keep this up you'll never get laid in your life.

Thunderturd---I know you say you will stop, but OCD doesn't work quite that way.

You MUST see a doctor and get some help for this. Chances are very good that you will not be able to stop doing this, and the guilt may drive you to do something worse.

Get help. You don't have to tell your parents. You can go to a local mental health clinic for very little to no cost.

good luck.

good

Best of luck, Thunderturd, but I honestly hope you get gloves.

Remember, Smellanoma has no cure.

Thunnderturds,
I don't think you would have submitted if you didn't want help. I wrote an article that jump started a type of satanic thing.

Listen, dude, the thing that bothers me is that I am sure there are things we all do that are sick. Maybe booger picking or ignoring our kids or something. But, if you wanted help, just go get it and deal with whatever is your deal. The gloves remark was like alot of my posts, like Doniker or Shit Volcano will tell you, off the cuff.
I personally think wiping shit on yourself is crazy, but I will purge this one...................I have kids who don't understand why my parents do call as much as they could.
Which is worse, really? Poop or grandkids who are let down?

Take care of yourself.

i think you should hate yourself. that is soooo gross! you should seek some serious conseling for that. GROSS!! EWWWW i feel unclean

it felt good? ewww.

I admire your courage to seek help. It takes alot of bravery to admit something like that. I hope that you will find a way out. Best of luck!

get some playdo man. thats fucked up

You are one fucked up individual, Thunderturd.

I...uhh.......I got nothin

this story is so sick, I can only think it was posted to show that uber-freaks like Thunderturds exist as a sad reminder that there is very little hope for the human race.

Tag: Therapy would be a good idea. Though, I don't think that people should be making you feel more guilty about this. In a way, you are just experimenting. But if the shame and guilt over takes you. You might do something more rash. Honestly, if it was just socially acceptable to play with your own poop, or eat your own poop, then this would not be an issue. If everyone realized that they already have eaten their own poop,( as an infant / child or adult), and that there is really nothing wrong with it, then maybe we would be all okay with it. But also, this is OCD behavior. There are probably some underlining issues, that are not directly related to the compulsion to play with you poop. I don't play with my poop very often, but when I do, I have feelings of guilt and shame relating to the act. In my case it is sexual..... Okay eveyone, start telling me that I am a sicko who needs help too. lol

Ok, to all the assholes who slag off TAG, he has a problem, and you having all the maturity I would expect from my nephew, will not help.

'Sicko' is not a word to describe someone who cannot help their actions. Get help from professionals, and don't listen to these imbecilles.

In the mean time, try meditation. What you are doing is not evil, it is not your fault. Your religion is very important to you, so stick to it, it will help you through.

Am I correct in thinking you are an adolencent (I'm 13 =) BTW). This is a hard time, and some people do stuff like that.

bye

Sometimes, we just don't know why we do the things we do. My brother tried a similar act, and he only told me. He told me not to tell anyone, but what he doesn't know won't hurt him, right? So anyways, I asked him why he did it and he simply said, "It was just out of curiosity. I hope it doesn't make me perverted or sick." Listening to my brother say this made me realize that it's natural to have these kinds of interests. Just for the record, no, I haven't been considering attempting this, but if there's a situation like this, ask to talk to my brother.

Thunderturds, you don't happen to be Adrienne, do you? Please! No more posts about God, girl! This is a poop site! Not church.com!

i mustve missed the bible verse that says "thou shalt not play with thine poop"

the most disturbing part of this article is your bizarre subservient mentality regarding god.

its ok, we all have problems like this. . .just noone wants to admit it, lol

so u touched poo, then doo-doo'd urself on purpose, then rubbed poo on urself?!?!?!?!?! whats next, eating it??

Please! Don't encourage him!

IS THIS MAN SERIOUS? IF HE IS I FEEL SORRY FOR HIM. I FEEL EVEN WORSE FOR HIS PARENTS. WHEN I MAKE A POOPY I DONT EVEN LIKE BEING IN THERE LET ALONE TOUCHING IT? O GOD NO!!! I SAY U DEFINITLY NEED PROFESSIONAL HELP. YOUR OBSESSION FECALPHILA WILL ONLY GET WORSE. AND THIS LADIES AND GENTLEMEN IS WHY I DONT SHAKE HANDS WHEN MEETING A PERSON. HIS POOR UNSUSPECTING PARENTS. I MEEN HE PLAYS IN HIS SHIT FOR CHRIST SAKE. I WONDER IF IT IS A SEXUAL THING FOR HIM ASWEL. HE DIDNT REALLY SAY. THE ONLY THING LEFT TO DO NOW IS TO EAT IT. WHICH IM PRETTY SURE HE ALREADY HAS. HE HASNT GOT ENOUGH TESTES TO ADMIT IT. ~*GET SOME HELP*~ XXXOOO

MAYBE HE SHOULD TELL HIS PARENTS WHATS GOING ON. MAYBE SEEIN THERE UPSET,HORRIFIED,DISAPPOINTED,SCAIRED FACES WILL HELP HIM STOP.~*GET SOME HELP*~ XXXOOO

Hell, I have obscure, jaded memories from when I was 4-ish of putting on those enormous, yellow rubber gloves for kitchen cleaning (my mum dedicated a pair to the bathroom) and reaching into the toilet bowl, trying to feel what was down that hole in the bottom. "Look at that, the shit went away! Where did it go?"

Maybe that's not quite the same, because everything, even toilets, seems magical when you're young. Around the same time, I even mistook my mum's white wine for apple juice, and upon tasting it, promptly spit it out and huddled in the fetal position in a corner of my room, waiting to become drunk before the cops arrested me for underage drinking.

Shit is a weird thing. I don't care if you eat chicken, bright colorful candy, toast, or cereal - in the end, it looks the same. If I weren't deterred by my mortal fear of the pathogenic quality of shit, I would probably be deeply fascinated with it.

If it really bothers you, I would seek a therapist. Although it's difficult and uncomfortable to confide in someone you don't know who you just have to trust to keep confidential, once you do it, you will feel like a huge burden has been lifted. If it is OCD like someone suggested above, you might want to label the activity as irrational and (if you indeed have OCD) as a result of the disorder. Identification is important. After that, you can try to resist the urges, but even if you don't resist many times, you'll know that OCD won out that time, but the next time, it might not.

My point? Well, I'm not sure I made much of a point. But we're young and crazy, and we all do odd things when we're young and crazy.

dont worry i went though a stage were i was really really constipated and to help get ot out i stuk some fingers up there to help . after that i did again and again untill i couldent poopie with out the help of me fingers!!!!
it felt so goooood pulling it out!!

Reading this again almost two years later doesn't make it any less disturbing. *shudders* Ew!

_______
Broccoli!

All I can say is this guy's getting no high five from me.

Did somebody bring this post up again just to see what Dumpster would say about it? As to Thunderturds' problem, all I can say is, I pity the man. He's similar to those dodos on some of the other threads who are sitting there bleeding to death out of their rectums and looking for healing on a poop humor site. The difference is, although this guy evidently realizes he has a problem and that what he is doing is wrong, he is also clearly mentally disturbed, and therefore may not be capable of understanding his need for professional help.

I thought it was interesting that PooNurse responded to this post, not once, but twice, beseeching Thunderturds to get appropriate professional help. Maybe somehow he did.

The other, and more contentious, issue is Thunderturds' reliance on prayer and his Christian faith to try to overcome his acknowledged problem, coupled with the reactions of readers thereto. I always wince when I see something like this, because it is such a lose-lose situation. Unbelievers and people who don't like Christianity only get even more offended and hostile, while believers and those who are more tolerant of differing faiths just shake their heads.

Sure, this guy is sick. Sure, he needs help. Any responsible person of any value system would instantly recognize that. But how can anybody with an ounce of compassion mock or condemn this poop (oops, I mean poor) soul's feeble, childlike graspings at a faith which appears to be the only dependable thing in his messy, turd-ridden world? I agree he shouldn't be advertising it on this site, but I hardly think he's trying to impose his views on anybody else.

A lot of folks who profess antipathy to Christ, the Bible, or the Church have been deeply hurt or offended at some point by people who claimed to be believers. Others are simply hostile to a value system not based solely on individual self-determination.

Obviously, PoopReport is not the forum to resolve, or even to debate, those matters, any more than it is to discuss other divisive issues such as politics. We're all here to share a common interest in "the intellectual appreciation of poop humor," and I think we ought to park our other issues outside the door.

I'm glad we don't have too many posts like this, because they are sort of like the proverbial turd in the punchbowl. Now, can we all go back to having fun?

_______
"Say, has anybody seen my sweet Gypsy Rose Volcano?"

Tag: I sympathize for you. I am going through the same thing. My own actions, I have concluded have impaired my social abilities. I drown in my own shame...I commend you for fighting the battle I fight now, and being more successful with it then I am. I have contemplated suicide. I have taken laxatives, surfed the web for the same things you did, drank excessive amounts of cola and milk to give myself diarhea. I know how you feel. I prayed to God also, but with no success. I wondered why I was born this way, I KNOW it was heriditory, I could tell. But the parent of mine who was like me died before we could talk. Keep fighting, don't give up. Myab one day I will be as successful as you. Good luck my friend, and God bless you.

Is he serious?
It seems he knows what he is doing is abnormal.
Can't you just play with the fake dog poop they sell at novelity stores and let the real poop go into the loo and be flushed without being poked?

He needs a new hobby. Ever tried making magic nose goblins?