The Joy (And Importance) Of Pooping

// // 75 Comments
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points
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I've been absent from PoopReport for over a month now. It hasn't been a purposeful absence. But it has been an absence of unfortunate dramatic proportion due to a nasty little viral pneumonia bug that's floated around the vicinity of Ft. Lewis like a desperate single-scene malcontent at closing time

75 Comments on "The Joy (And Importance) Of Pooping"

Anonymous's picture

I had a very satisfying shit tonight. Thick in girth, and long. It felt very good to drop it in the toilet bowl.

Dumper's picture

I can feel your pain. I too had problems after my hernia surgery. They said I could not strain at all. I didn't want too either. It hurt like hell. I did change my diet. Raisin Bran, tons of high fiber veggies, multi grain bread, stool softener with no stimulants, glycerin suppositories, a good book and a half hour a day worked. I also avoided peanut butter, cheese etc. I was dropping grits in no time. The narcotics is what caused the rock solidness in the first place. Don't use the softeners too long though! Hope everything comes out OK.

Anonymous Coward's picture

HA. Some of you people are hilarious...
Ever since becoming a vegan I make HUGE poops 2-3 times a day. They just slide out. It is awesome! In the past, I would practically pop a blood vessel trying to get one out. Those days are over! Having regular poops is the best.

Anonymous Coward's picture

I've also been having shit problems lately. It affects me a lot especially since its been going on for four weeks and I can't concentrate on my schoolwork because I keep thinking about what to do about this problem. I realize now that we take these things for granted. I know now that I need to cherish every 'normal'
poop that I get out. Its really frustrating that you can't really tell anyone about it because no one wants to hear about your dookie.

talon and mommy's picture
m 1+ points - Newb


_______
Thank you to everyone! For all your thoughts and stories that keeps myself and my son stable :)
I had one son that had tummy stuff and we did a year without wheat and now it's encopresis and my be something bigger. But when it's wits end time, we find a

Thank you to everyone! For all your thoughts and stories that keeps myself and my son stable :)
I had one son that had tummy stuff and we did a year without wheat and now it's encopresis and my be something bigger. But when it's wits end time, we find a

talon and mommy's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

i poop bc ihab a medical condition called encopresis. talon

It feels better when my tummy is completely empty and I'm working on getting my pooper so not stretched out. I have a special doctor and take yucky medicine but have a doctor with toys too.
When my belly gets full, I get tired. My Mommy knows and I just want a way to a doctor that helps me get all better.

talonandmommy

Thank you to everyone! For all your thoughts and stories that keeps myself and my son stable :)
I had one son that had tummy stuff and we did a year without wheat and now it's encopresis and my be something bigger. But when it's wits end time, we find a

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

MSG, I am just seeing this post that you posted to me one year ago. That is exactly how I got that particular blockage unplugged. Since I didn't see your post, I didn't do the prep until Nov. and Dec. 08 for a procedure each time. Do you know that the it took the 2nd prep in Dec. to clear the fecal obstruction that plagued me all last year. Hah! It turns out I changed doctors too and I AM taking that Novo domperidone 2 4X per day. Over the weekend and just now, I took 4 tabs at once because I felt so full. I gained 6 lbs in 3 days. Probably the ponchos and papa johns and the snowballs. IT is not normal nevertheless.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Cheers to help the petite AC cheerleader move her bowels;

Two, four, six eight,
Let's watch the lady Defecate!

Take a dump, take a dump,
Rah rah rah.
Drop it in the potty,
Sis-boom-bah!

Two bits, four bits
eight bits in a dollar,
If you push a grogan out
we'll all stand up and holler!


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Anonymous Coward's picture

One time I did not poop for a full week. Seven full days. This was 16 years ago at high school cheerleading camp. The camp fed us all of this high carb, low fiber blocker upper food and by day 7 my normall non-existant tummy looked like I was about 3 months pregnant! Pooping is not something that always comes easily for me although if I keep at the high fiber I stay pretty regular. I think because I am a small woman. I love the comment from the guy in 2005 - Poopster39. All he is worried about is himself and getting some ass. I hope at least once in his life he can't shit for a week. See if he still feels like f-ing.
The comments about people taking a big dump are hilarious. One time I got the runs at work so I decided to go to another floor. The toilets had those auto flushers that would flush without warning. I didn't go that much really! I'm a tiny person so it's not like I am going to shit a mountain. I guess that toilet had low tolerence. It flushed in the middle of my poo and I realized it was not going to go down! I had to hall ass out of there! I pulled up my skirt and dashed out the door before the water and shit hit my shoes. My skirt was stuck in my underwear and there were 5 people in the bathroom that saw it happen. I booked it out of there and hid in the stairway for about 10 minutes.

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

I looked up "satisfying" on this site, and this thread popped up, to which I have contributed before. Today I had a particularly satisfying b.m. I had a so-so one early this morning, as usual. Then a nice big breakfast, and, around 11:30, a small-to-moderate portion of spaghetti before going to a 1 p.m. meeting some distance away. Soon I was in the car, and by about 12 I could feel the rectal pressure building. Often, if I don't go to the toilet right away, the pressure eases. Not this time. It was a slow, relentless build-up. The meeting was at a place that's not easy to find, and I began to worry that, if I didn't find it promptly, I might have a Problem. As I turned off the Interstate and into the meeting area, my bowels were in active clamor. Fortunately, I was able to negotiate the back streets and arrive promptly at the building, which (thank goodness!) was open. Without showing unseemly haste, I took my basket of stuff with me into the men's room, selected a stall (the only one with paper), dropped pants, and sat. I settled myself briefly and pushed, and it came out thick, solid, smooth, and long--it took a while, feeling really good the whole time. I think I said, "Hoo-wee!" Afterward I looked--big, healthy, satisfying. I don't know what brings about such fine movements; wish I did.

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Sittingpretty, have you tried an enema or one of those Fleet cleanout preps you take before a colonoscopy? It's not pleasant, but it might get you unstopped. Then normal poop might get to build up in your system. I suggest this with fear and trembling, as I am not a physician; but if I were in your situation, that is what I would try. I guess you could ask your doctor about doing that.

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Having a big healthy dump on a regular basis is the foundation of a good quality life. People that poop are happy people. Chief TB, my legs used to hurt when hard poop was backed up in me. I'm no expert like motherload as I'm not a cna. However, I am a nurse so I might have an idea as to why our legs hurt. I think my legs hurt from the pressure the hard heavy shit puts on the nerves that innervate my legs. It could be putting some pressure on blood supply too. Not enough pressure to cut off circulation butt just enough to make them ache. Think about it. The backed up crap is sitting right on top of the lower extremities. The poop gets drier and harder as it sits in there getting tighter and more compacted, forming sharp edges as it gets squeezed together. All that jabbing into the top of your leg will make your leg hurt.
How I long to have a big satisfying poop. I'm taking 4 scoops of miralax a day and I still can't get one good dump. My abdomen stays distended and I run all day to the toilet to drop an amount equivalent to the size of a golf ball. My butt portal gets so red and raw even with using Balneol. My colon has been in a constant spasm for several weeks. I always feel like it is there to be released butt it is not. It sits in loops of bowel just above my rectum encased by spasms trapped from getting into the releasing chamber. My doc gave me a script for canadian medicine...dom something...145.00 dollars for 100. I'm sure my insurance doesn't cover canadian drugs. At 1 four times a day, that's only 25 days worth. I'm starting to feel desparate enough to try it. I don't want to have my colon removed! That is all that is left for me if not pooping drags my quality of life down any further.

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

I have been constipated very few times in my life, usually as the result of taking medication.
If I don't go I feel bad and actually get leg aches for some reason. I wonder if Motherlode could explain this? Gotta go now, time for my 6:45 AM
daily. A well regulated & timely asshole is happiness!

_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

shitake boy's picture
l 100+ points


I need to shit at least once a day. Ideally, I would like to shit 2 or more times in a day. I get that wonderful empty feeling in my bowels after spending some quiet time on the toilet. Being an IBS sufferer, I do not take shitting for granted, and therefore seize the opertunity, or as I like to call, "crappe diem". On day s that I do not poop, it affects my mood to the point where my wife knows that I didn't poop that day. She will actually ask me if I am in a less than stellar mood, "you didn't poop today, did you?". If I don't poop, I am physically uncomfortable as well, and if it goes on for more than one day with no poop, I will start to get stomach pain, and my abdomen will be as hard as a rock. As a whole, my day is not complete without a good, long 15-20 minute poop.

_______
In search of the ever evasive BM

In search of the ever evasive BM

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

A nice shit is indeed a pleasure. I enjoy it so much that I have done the deed approximately 24,455 times in my life. This is based on having taken an average of one a day. The time I had amoebal dysentery more than compensated for the few days of my life I have been constipated.

Dysentery is to diarrhea as whiskey is to beer. you do not know the meaning of "sore" until your sphincter has spat out a Tsbp of shit every 15 minutes for 36 hours. One of the few bad memories I have from the eight years I spent in Asia.

_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Postman's picture
k 500+ points

I would have to agree that a good healthy shit is vital to your emotional well being. I'm just getting over a nasty cold that left me a bit bound up for a few days. Once I was able to get rid of it all I was really happy.

Pooperman's picture

it is a horrid experience not being able to poop. with no running water [water main probs] my restroom use has dropped dramatically mostly due to laziness for having to walk a couple streets down to go to a restroom. but not being able to poop when you want where you want sucks sooo much, completely man, completely.

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

I also feel that good regular pooping is of great importance. After my surgeries, the pain medication I had to take stopped me up, and at one point I went four days without a b.m. I knew I had to do it, but wearing a Foley catheter made every attempt painful--it felt as though I would eject the damn thing. I finally had to try manual disimpaction (painful, bloody, marginally successful), and eventually I had to stand and hover (seat up) to push, and push, and push, to get one of my biggest, most painful, but most triumphant poops. Huge splash. After that my pooping returned to closer to normal, and once the catheter was out, I could even sit to do it again. Very important--in fact, basic to the good life--is a good poop.

Anonymous Coward's picture

Thats crazy i feel exactly the same way. I am like clock work and poop very freely (no strain) There will be somedays I will be less regular and I really start to worry!! Like something really wrong with me. It is important to my well being to know that i'm regular and that my poops are healthy.

turdfan's picture
l 100+ points

I was miserably constipated for most of my life until I figured out that I needed much more fiber than the daily recommendations. I think having have a decent BM every day greatly increases everyones quality of life. It certainly has mine. Nothing worse than living on harsh laxatives, and never knowing how or when they are going to give you relief.(By a decent BM, I mean at least one fairly large firm turd, which I guess would be normal for most people.)

freddy krueger 16's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

A good dump is extremely satisfying, even if you happen to be shameful! The gassy large dumps are the best IMO. Expelling your colon's waste along with intestinal gas. Gets rid of it all and keeps you healthy.

healthy 1's picture
j 1000+ points

With IBS, I very much appreciate a well placed dump. It does have a psycological factor. When I can't poop right, it is very frustrating.
_______
It's not nice to fool mother nature.

"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

Logjam's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Jon, thanks for dropping a short update on us. Congratulations on finishing your exams and, even more, on maturing to the point that you find us rather juvenile. (Perhaps there is some hope for me?) However, don’t be too surprised if 20 or 30 years from now, you start coming back to a site/topic like this, but with a very different agenda. Ta.

Logjam

Jon & Dominic's picture

It's a long time since one half of us (Bare-Cheek Jon) contributed to PoopReport. In fact, I lost the password to get into my email address!

Poopster39 (04.24.2005) was disturbed if I was as young as I said I was. I could be disturbed at older people who are still attached to this site. I think we have 'grown up', not only mentally but also physically, and for myself, I get through a toilet roll in a fortnight, whereas it used to be 3 weeks. (Even shorter time, if Dominic comes to stay.) We have bigger bottoms, and produce bigger loads. (Research shows that adolescent boys DO.)

We have finished our exams, and are spending a bit of time looking at PoopReport, but not too much. This is one of the phases (not faeces) we have grown out of.

cornbandit's picture

I crap sometimes 5 times a day, depending on what I eat and how much beer I drink. Ever heard of "gout"? I recently had a spell of the gout.

PINWORM's picture
l 100+ points

I once had a bad case of the pukes. Unlike most stomach bugs, this one didn't include diarrhea in it's symptoms. As a matter of fact, as soon as the vomitting started, the pooping stopped altogether. And when the vomitting stopped a day or so later, the shitting still hadn't returned. As a matter of fact, I didn't shit or have the urge to shit for 5 more days. I was concerned that I wasn't suffering from a bug, but an intestinal blockage of some kind.

Man, I missed shitting during that time. It detoxes you. When you don't go for awhile, you can sense the poison building up in you.

Ben's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Pooping is not only important to our physical health but also to our mental health. I am ALWAYS in a bad or irritable mood when I am unable to go.

Size also matters. THe bigger or voluminous, the bigger. One feels so much lighter and cleaner inside.

Fart Poopie's picture
j 1000+ points

I pictured your toilet with eyes and teeth. Scary...

Kev the Grad's picture

I am now Dr Kevin I have gained my university PhD, but I have just been reminded that I am still the same as everybody else. (I wrote earlier about shamelessness.)

As I sat there splashing away, it was music to my ears.

I rarely have a cooked breakfast, so sausages are not part of my diet, but my toilet has them for his breakfast every morning. He waits in excitement every morning building up a hunger. He gets more excited when he hears the door open and shut and locked. The seat above him is put down. He hears the undoing of belt, buckle, clips and trouser zip. He knows his meal is about to arrive when he sees above him his master's bare posterior, with the slit which will open and give him his breakfast. He has the anticipation of chicks in the nest being fed by their parents. As the bum is lowered, gradually it becomes complete darkness, but the toilet knows that breakfast is about to be produced. Like his master a few minutes earlier, he is also provided with a drink with his food. (He had a drink when his master got out of bed earlier.)

For me, the joy and importance of pooping. For the bog, the joy and importance of being fed.

Searching's picture

Maybe off topic...I found this site while searching the net for an article. When I was attending college my freshman year, I received a forwarded e-mail containing an article entitled "Just Drop It" which encouraged those shy about public pooping to "just drop it." Now, six years later, I have a friend (freshman year in the dorm) who would be greatly benefitted by reading this article! Does anyone know where/how I could find it online? Your help will be immeasurably appreciated :o)

poopaloopas's picture

I can think of some things that are greater than a nice, smooth, long poo that gives me enough time to finish the article I'm reading, but they are very few. I appreciate them even more now that I am on a diet. Sometimes when I crave sweets, I go for the sugar-free candy. Now, if you've never had these, let me explain: The whole time you are eating, you're thinking "Why doesn't everyone eat this? it's healthy and tastes very similar to regular candy!" and then an hour later you get the rumbles. Then the sharts. Then a mad dash to the toilet where... NOTHING COMES OUT. It seems like the only place you can poo is in your pants when you least expect it.
the worst part is, my stomach tells me that no amount of bowel problems takes precedence over tasty sugarfree reese's.

General Colon Pow!'s picture

Them damn vaccines the military dole out spread all kinds of sicknesses. Maybe they should vaccinate "the enemy"- it would be alot more effective.

I don't know that a good crap is imperative....but it sure is nice! Nothing like the quiet solitude of the porcelain easychair, and the pleasure of passing a "just right" loaf- and the feeling of wellness that ensues.

In The Bushes's picture
l 100+ points

Hope you feel better soon!

And yes, i have been through many bouts of not-pooping, and after a few days I feel quite miserably unhappy.

wonderpance's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points

i would also have to say yes. although, i can't recall a time that i've gone for extended periods of time without pooping, i can imagine that it would bother me. but i do experience unpleasant poops, and those can ruin your day. like, if you have runny poop and have to wipe a lot to get it all off leaving your poo hole all raw for the rest of the day, that sucks. if the butt feels good, i feel good. that's my motto.

i love poop.

PooplessPal's picture

I am all for regular bowel movements being good for your mental health as well. I go weeks without having a bowel movement...but that seems to be how I am. I have horrible days after my long "cycles" that I feel horrible, have cramps, and just go back and forth from a toilet to a far from comfortable position on my bed (massaging the heck out of my abdomen)....

Yes, you feel like crap and wonder about it quite often when you don't have normal sh*ts.

Turtle Head's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Can our fearless leader edit the weinies out without getting all elitist and shit? Some people don't really add much at all, and actually stink up the stall here at Poopreport.
As for the topic....
A good healthy poop, on schedule and well done, leaves most of us feeling pretty good, even if we don't realize it. On the other hand, bad bowels can ruin a day, as we all know. As far as mental health, it's one of those which came first, the chicken or the egg questions I think.

Poopster39's picture
l 100+ points

Logjam: I'm sorry, I just don't buy it. I looked up "Bare Cheek Jon's" previous posts and I find them disturbing on a number of levels. First off, he always makes it a point to mention his age (13, then later 14). I find this odd, to say the least. His writing is nearly flawless and - as you said - on a "mature" level for someone who claims to be so young. Plus, his settings always involve other boys (an all-boy school, boysroom showers, boys choir, etc.) This reeks of homosexual pedophelia. If I'm wrong, I apologize. But I don't think I am.

Poopster39's picture
l 100+ points

Hey, J the P. You know, clinical studies have proven "crack" to be quite dangerous, especially on an already unstable mind. You need to seek professional care. There are quite a number of excellent recovery centers available. I understand Medicaid even covers most of the cost. Now get yourself out of bed, run up those basement steps and ask your mom if you can borrow the phone. Just dial 1-800-ON-CRACK.

Logjam's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Pooster39. Do a search on Bare Cheek Jon. You'll see he's been a thoughtful contributer for some time, and plenty mature enough for the likes of us.

Logjam

Will Bonney's picture

Speaking of poop, I think I lost a significant amount of weight after poopuing this morning.

Just thought I'd share that.

Coprologist's picture

Poor old Daphne. Hope things are now better. To me the 15 minutes or so that I spend twice a day on the pot are the most enjoyable events of the day. Time spent shitting is to me quality time. The lovely empty feeling after a good dump is one of the best signs of wellbeing. If you're OK in the guts, you can't be seriously unwell.

Bare Cheek Jon's picture

I am sorry about your illness, Daphne, but as a 14 year old boy I enjoy immensely the time after breakfast before going to school when I am sitting bare-cheeked.

You ask 'Is it mentally and emotionally imperative to have a decent shit on a regular basis? For me it is.

After a healthy breakfast and 2 cups of tea I clean my teeth first, and things build up in my nether regions.

Everything slides out easily after a slight squeeze. It is good for my mental health as well. Clearing out my bowels clears out my mind also, ready to start a new day.

I hope I never lose this routine. It gives me a good sense of well-being.

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

Miss you too, Shitty.
been a long time, with a lot to deal with. Lots of antibiotics. And, sadly, a lack of toilet paper.

I see that we have a new peanut gallery.

Looks promising.

di, call me you canadian slut..............................

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Meat helps me shit... loads of diarrhea! I don't eat that much meat because every time I do it comes out the other side VERY quickly.

Daphne, I'm glad you're getting better. FINALLY! You've got come back, girl!

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

The Crapper's picture

The crapper is here! All hail the Crapper!

Poopster39's picture
l 100+ points

Logjam: As I said, if I'm wrong and Bare Cheek Jon is who he says, then I apologize. But if he's not - well, there's just no way I'm comfortable over the idea of a grown man pretending to be a teenage boy, describing himself in intimate ways as BCJ does.

Lady Ballbuster's picture

Poopster39:
Anti-depressants can really constipate you, so I'd suggest that your wife beef up the fiber and drink enough water while she's on them.

Glutgut:
I agree, meat really does help you shit. Red meat is the best for this purpose. Just make sure you eat lean cuts in moderation, so you don't end up with clogged arteries....

This line in the story is a classic: "a nasty little viral pneumonia bug that's floated around the vicinity of Ft. Lewis like a desperate single-scene malcontent at closing time – persistent, undeterrable, and with no intention of leaving alone."

I burst out laughing at that one....

DungDaddy's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

Look at us. Of course poop is important to this crowd. How would you be doing if you couldn't eat? Bad. Food is just embrionic shit.

Poop, I believe is even more important for mens' health. Men have less complex cycles: Eat, Sleep, Poop, Mow the lawn. Since women have more factors, each individual one has less relative priority.

Bunghole Delight's picture

I clean my toilet once every three or four weeks. Is this waiting too long or is it about right?

Poopster39's picture
l 100+ points

Marcos, this time you got me. I haven't got a clue.

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