Why would your toilet seat be full of ass sweat, Ryan - are you a big, fat bloater? There`s no sweat on my toilet seat as I have a svelte, slimline ass.

My work chair and car seat are another matter, they are far dirtier than my toilet seat as I fart copiously into them all day. Try this test - sniff your toilet seat and your work chair, which smells worse?

If they are dirty, what the hell difference does it make unless you have a cut on your ass?
Any bacteria on the seat is not going to travel via osmosis through your skin into your bloodstream. Your hands are a different matter because if they are dirty, and you rub your nose, eyes, etc., then you can "catch" the bacteria that way. I'm no friggin' scientist, but I think this is just a matter of common sense.

"High touch" surfaces are the most dirty, keyboards, phones, especially salt and pepper shakers in restaurants can be very filthy.
The toilet seat tends to dry out. Things touched a lot can stay damp, filthy, full of germs.

Frank, don't forget shopping cart handles and the bottoms of women's purses, which are set down everywhere.

Ryan, is it possible that your opinion is based more on the "ew" factor than actual facts? It's natural to not want to deal with anywhere someone's butt has been, but in actuality, the toilet seat receives more cleaning attention than the other surfaces you mentioned. In a restaurant or chain store like Walgreen's, the toilets are not only cleaned once a day but sometimes twice. The seats are most likely scrubbed with some type of industrial chemical. The keyboards and door handles of the same place (registers/regular door) are most likely rarely to never addressed.

When people who don't wash their hands touch these surfaces, they are infected with every previous place the person has touched, including their own butt or wanker. How many places does your butt touch? Toilet seats, the inside of your pants, and basically that's it.

Weird as it seems, the toilet seat might not be all that dirty in comparison.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

If your toilet seat is THAT filthy then perhaps cleaning it ONCE a week is not enough. Maybe you should do it every time you take a dump. I have a dolphin clear plastic seat so I have to clean it everyday.
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The Thunderous Crapper 63 Enjoying home toilet advantage since 2004!

That sounds pretty. Is it one of the ones with the gel-filled inside and little dolphins swim in the goo when you sit down, or is it totally clear and hard throughout like the one that has pennies in it?

Either way, I see why it's necessary to clean it daily.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

I just tear off the used one and install a new one each time. I have several, cello-wrapped for hypo-allergenic safety, in the garage. Uhoh...had to edit this, cuz I just realized I am rapidly approaching AB2K's number, and I DON'T want to be the one that takes her out of the top ten.

OOPS..had to edit again, to let you good folks know that any future comments by me will be edited previous posts....so, while you may think I missed a hanging curve ball...I may have responded in another story comment, or maybe even over in the forums. Perhaps I'll respond anonymously...I'll figure something out.

Who gives a shit if it's dirty or not? Unless you're a total germophobic, the only way I would care is if there was actually visible shit or piss on the seat. Otherwise, out of sight, out of mind

Bilge, you keep them cello-wrapped in the garage? They really should be in a negative-pressure clean room. Me, I flip mine over every month. That way the fallow side dries out, and can be put back in service.

And Bilge, you deserve to be in the top 10. If you want, wait till I catch up and we can storm the AB2K gates together.

Ryan, if your that worried about using a public toilet, just get one of those little tubes of alcohol gel from the drug store and wipe the seat down before you use it.

And Ryan, by the way, dirtiest area in the bathroom, even though you might not think so because people are constantly taking off a layer at a time-the toilet paper roll-things full of fecal bacteria and urine. If your so concerned about exposure to germs in public bathrooms you'd be better off to carry your own toilet paper than worry about the toilet seat.

I'd say the door handle to the stall would be the dirtiest part in the bathroom. I don't fret so much over dirty toilet seats. I always assume my ass is dirtier than everyone else's so why should I worry? I know that's not really true... but it helps me get over the germ thing. I'm much more finicky about door handles, telephones, the time clock, etc.

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Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

The whole earth is encrusted in shit but we try not to dwell on it and do the best we can.

no comment.

Shitwit, I use a lot of public shitters, and I both flush and unlock the door handle with my asshole. It took some practice, but I'm pretty adept at it, and I dont have to touch those icky things with my hands.

In biology class we took swab samples from everyday items to see what kind of germs were present. Phones, pens and handrails were sooooo much dirtier than toilet seats (unless it's been splattered with butt butter).

oh, Bidge. you've done it now.
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i love poop.

When you gotta go, ya gotta go!

I just scrubbed my moldy loft toilet twice in a row a couple of days ago. It gave me a cold/sinus infection /allergy type
symptoms.
Does anyone know if the rubber flap at the bottom of the tank of a toilet be replaced? I won't know I'm home when I get to come home if I change out the whole toilet. I WANT TO GO HOME TO MY KATRINA FLOODED TOILET SEAT!

Sitting, the flap can be easily replaced. By the way, tell your supplier if your toilet is a slow or weak flusher. They have a new type of flap (I can get you the name) that has a closing delay that allows more water to flow into bowl. These work fantastic. They are less than 10 bucks and worth every cent.

Wedgie wrote:
Wonderpance (468) -- 03.20.2008

oh, Bidge. you've done it now.

Yeah, honey, I did....have it on good authority she isn't coming back anytime soon. I'll take my lumps when and if she does, I guess.

Congrats, Bilge. I see Daphne is nearing a milestone. When we were little we used to get (on birthdays) one spank for each year, and one to grow on. I wonder if Daphne.....

Now i'm in trouble.

Start with a couple bottles of Pinot Grigio, PD...after thats consumed, I have no doubt the spankings will be welcomed, along with a yodeling rendition of the Gettysburg Address done with a drunken Ukrainian accent.

Drool........

Spanking. Yodeling. Fermented grapes. Thick, Ukrainian accents. Sniff. You guys know me so well!

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Back on track: I don't worry so much about toilet seats, for reasons already given; what bothers me is people (students in my case) who come up to me every day to shake my hand! What have they touched lately, who else's hand have they shaken that did not wash hands after wiping after pooping? That's scary.

There was a recent study in the UK, regarding remenant bacteria. The cleanest place sampled was the door handle of a public long drop. Strange, but true.

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like a constipated accountant- I worked it out with a pencil.

BVC, I actually have a collection of those handles. I regularly use them when making peanut butter sandwiches.

As a spatula?

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

If a person rides a bike seat without pants on, You are not going to want to ride that bike after that, even with pants on... because its been coddled up to someones butt pit. Nobody wants that.

Oh yes Daphne, great for icing cakes too.

AC, I'm guessing you're about 12. You'll find in a few years that you'll do anything to hosey the bike of a hottie who has been riding it bare assed. Daph, you been on a bike lately?

Sorry LJ, I have that seat in my museum. In a display case equipped with an inhaler.

We've been waiting for you to admit to appropriating that seat, PD. Before we tell you who's bare ass was actually on it, can you please tell us the approximate number of lung fulls you've inhaled? (OK. Here's a hint. When we tell you, you're going to be seeing Stars.)

NO NOOOO.....AAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGG

*BVC sprints out of room, to return seconds later with a defib. machine* PD, PD, can you hear me.....?
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like a constipated accountant- I worked it out with a pencil.

..... 3,2,1, CLEAR! *thud*
I gotta pulse, I think he's gonna make it....

*As PD slowly comes around, BVC secreats bicycle seat up jumper, and vanishes into the night*

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like a constipated accountant- I worked it out with a pencil.

Later.... BVC is found out cold, face down, in his lair, pants around his ankles. Nearby lies a bicycle seat.

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like a constipated accountant- I worked it out with a pencil.

Barely disguised reference to Star Jones engaged, T minus 5 comments for cat insertion.

And all this nonsense without an assist from wonderpance. Where is that little keeper of the dwarfs?

Pdog, thank you for answering my question. I appreciate your kindness in offering to obtain the name of the new delay- closing flapper for me. My slinkie poops stand at attention as they go plop in honor of such a prominant Poopreporter, as yourself,who took the time to answer my lowly question.
I'm sitting on MY elongated toilet seat facing the open, almost empty, tank. The indented stamp mark on the back wall of the tank reads made in USA, American Standard 4049 tank, T82. March 25 3. The dwelling was built in 1982. My toilet is about to have its 26th birthday! Is it an antique like a car? Is that all the info I need to get the right size flapper? Does the 3 mean the amount of gallons of water it holds? It looks like the tank can hold over 3 gallons of water.
If I sat on the toilet hole backwards while I lay waste, I could open my window and say hi to the newby neighbors as they walk the kids and dogs. It wouldn't be as cathartic fun as reading Poopreport. Besides, I'm too much of a shameful shitter to be that bold and silly.

Sitting Pretty, take those numbers down to any hardware store, Home Depot, or Lowes, whatever is convenient. They can hook you up with a new flapper. I"m not sure about the tank capacity, that "3" seems to be in an odd place to indicate capacity, after the date...although the date you say is there doesn't include a year, curious. The installation of the new flapper is really pretty simple, and you shouldn't have any problem doing it yourself. There are instructions on the packaging for installs, its pretty straightforward. Good Luck, and sorry for ignoring your request for info, I"m far too silly to be bothered with REAL problems, but I saw PD step up, and he's my hero (cuz he's WAY older than me), so I figured I should try to emulate him...and make Logjam jealous.

Had to add this, you are looking for something similar to this, which allows for adjustable opening time.

Someday, maybe I can handle a technical hardware question. But for now, I'll have to stick to questions about the software. (And yes, I'm plenty jealous.)

LJ, you are so damn delicious with that big purple vein sticking up out of your forehead....

SP, I will get that name for you shortly. It does'nt come to mind off hand, but a high part of my life is wandering around the local Home Depot store on a Saturday night. I'm not sure I will want my 1000th post to be an advertisement for a toilet flapper, but you will certainly have one of the next ones.

Oh, and in New Jersey you can put antique license plates on that beauty.

Thanks guys. I have a bike seat that's been under water if anybody wants it.

Depending on what water that seat has been under, and how long, we might be interested in making a bid to aquire it. We recently aquired a bike seat from a fast-food delivery service in Calcutta and this one may complement it quite robustly. We will be in contact.

Prarie -- With the words "complement" and "robustly" you may have let the cat out of the bag. You're setting yourself up to make bike-seat wine, aren't you? But first you want to corner the market on all the best fruit. You devil, you.

SSHHHH, Keep it between us and I'll let you in on the first vintage. Now I have to get back to work. Those bike seat stems are a bastard to graft onto the grape vines.

Lake Pontchartrain water for 3 weeks.

North or south of the levee?

Hi, I appreciate all of your commments. And yes, my opinion is based soley on the 'ew' factor. In all honesty, i'm probably more of a public toilet exhibitionist then most of you would ever imagine. I never lay paper down. if it's nasty, I'll spit-clean it. the reason i'm looking into this inquiry is not the toilet's fault. It's that fucking anus at party that wants to sound smart and says "well the toilet seat is perfectly clean when you compare it to a door handle ..." you get what I mean. I'm tired of those people.

So here's my next question that will help me out:

Taking into consideration the 'ew' factor, would you rather:

1) lick a door handle

2) lick a toilet seat

I'm sorry, I think public toilet seats are just as dirty as all the other frequently touched items. Especially in the girl's room. If it is a choice between touched a doorknob at a busy office or sitting on a period-smeared toilet seat, I'll take the door knob every time.

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Born right the first time.

My dad recons that licking toilet seats and sucking door knobs, can get you pregnant. I myself, do niether of these things and am NOT pregnant. Ergo, it must be true.

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like a constipated accountant- I worked it out with a pencil.

I love this thread, so I may just make random coments to keep it going.----- Poops! I just did!

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whats that smell?

BVC, I SWEAR I didn't lick that toilet seat! And it wasn't a DOOR knob...

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Born right the first time.

TSV, kinda begs the question... what wasn't a door knob?

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Did I just fart?.... hope so!

Ask Gilbert.

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Born right the first time.

I am horrified by that which may come to light, I'll just go and mind my own business.

Of which, today, there has been quite a bit, as the 3T's are back in town.

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Did I just fart?.... nope!