the koran is very clear on this.
first all poops must be converted.
second poop terrorism is justified to strike back at the infedal. at fartwa must be called first.
the myrtr will recieve 70 vigin double ply TP Sheets.

ALALALLALALALALALALALALALALALALAL!

Whether it's right or wrong, turd terrorism is obviously (at the very least) a revenge fantasy for many, many people. Try googling "upper decker".

the Quran also dictates that one must type with their thumbs and lash out at spelling. :)

Good question, Dave!

I would have to say that turd terrorism is wrong, no matter what. There are people who undoubtedly DESERVE turd terrorism, but it's still wrong to perpetrate it, or to perpetuate it.

When a store refused to allow me to piss in their "employee" restroom, I would have felt avenged if I'd lost it and pee'd (or pooped) on their floor (I was 8 1/2 months pregnant), but I wouldn't have done it on purpose. (If God had REALLY been smiling that night, my water would have broken on their doormat).

But wrong is wrong, if you ask me.
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Santa Caca!

You can't take it out on the employees per se. I would go to the person who makes decisons about money and take a huge dump on their desk. Leave a note saying that there was no bathroom to put it in.

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"KOC -- the Cool Crapper" - Rat Droppings

No access to a bathroom definitely deserves some sort of retaliation. Crapping/peeing elsewhere sounds like a pretty nice idea.

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If your stinker likes to linger, please be nice and flush it twice.

KOC makes a valuable point in that one must not make the employee of a business that doesn't have public restrooms the victim. However, finding out who the owner of the franchise is and sending him or her poop via eBay is a consideration.

I've always said that "We here at Poopreport neither endorse nor condone turd terrorism", but that's because we don't and not because it's not sometimes the only action left untaken or appropriate for the specific incident at hand. Take for instance the time that Mr. daphne dropped one in a plastic bag and lit it on fire on a certain person's front porch while we were stationed in Germany. I still think it was a form of just desserts to the man whose dog bit me and my son on different occasions, shit all over the housing area and wasn't fined or busted because he was a national GS-13, and was never forced to put his dog on a leash and walk and clean up after him. The military sat on its hands because we were off post housing and no high ranking officer's kids were getting bit, and the German police weren't going to fine one of their own, and who could blame them. Many of us Americans littered, were ignorant to the locals, and didn't take care of our own areas. We were at our wit's end.

There are some times that we are pushed to our limits, pushed because people like the guy who wouldn't let a girl with IBS use the public restrooms at Old Navy was unable to think for himself, that sheople douchebag, times when the ridiculous reigns as law, times when, well, there's no action left that will mete out justice like fair turnabout.

I'm not proud of it, but I won't lie. Sometimes I feel turd terrorism is the only way to get someone's attention.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Yes, I will agree. KOC makes a valid point. Why punish the employees for something a higher up did?
When the fares on the Lake Washington bridge in Seattle were raised, morons started putting their dimes in their cigarette lighters and burning the hands of the toll takers, while the fruity government jerks who raised them in the first place received nothing. When my grandfather was mad at the garbage company he filled a can with cement, which only punished the poor garbage collector and never reached management. Don't shit on an employee for the managment not allowing bathrooms.

And turd terrorism isn't going to help this, anyway. The manager may get a turd on his desk, but he is not the one who is going to clean it up. He'll call in an underling to do it, therefore dodging the bullet. Not even pooping on his desk will help.

Now, getting his car in his home driveway... No, I didn't just say that! All I can say at this point is the pen is mightier than the sword. Well written words will have more of an affect than an ill-placed turd. Why do you suppose the media is so powerful?

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Clones are people, two.

Though we may debate the circumstances under which turd vengeance may be justified, I think we can all agree on this: one of the requirements for justified turd vengeance is that it must directly effect the perpetrator of the crime. If there's a chance that an innocent employee will be the one forced to deal with the mess, then the turd vengeance is unacceptable.

"I would go to the person who makes decisons about money and take a huge dump on their desk."

I guess one of the defining characteristics of turd terrorism is that it is perpetrated without accountability. You expect to dash out of the bathroom or away from the burning bag of feces and off into the night. For you to actually go and actually take a dump on someone's desk, actually risking them tackling you and kicking you viciously or taking your picture and posting it online -- I suppose that's not turd terrorism, because you're taking responsibility for the act.

Well, that IS the definition of "terrorism" in totale, I guess.

Good point.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

When I was in high school I worked at the Salvation Army store and for a while we had no public restroom. People always used to say "Well then I'm going to just go to the bathroom outside on your front lawn!" I always used to think "Go ahead, Buster, go pinch a steaming loaf on the side of the busiest highway in town! I get paid $5.50 an hour and I don't care!" Having people poop/pee outside was not nearly as bad as how the bathroom used to get defaced. Thrift store shoppers are slobs.

Anyway, I don't think that would have been turd terrorism. It would have been more like a turd protest. Terrorism is an act that is performed to scare or intimidate someone, or to show you hate them, and make them feel they have less power than you, without direct provocation from that person to cause your action. Turd retaliation is to seek justice through exposing the victim, who has equal power to yourself, to poop. Turd protesting is to make a point that a power greater than yourself is doing something wrong, through poop, while not harming others.

Leaving a steaming bag of poop on the nerdy kid's doorstep just because he dresses a little funny is turd terrorism. The nerdy kid didn't deserve it, and now he feels you are stronger than him.

Throwing turds at your neighbor's house because his dog crapped on your steps and he didn't clean it up and you slipped in it is turd retaliation. The neighbor did something equally bad to you, and you returned it, and you and your neighbor have equal power.

Taking a crap outside a business that does not allow you to use their restroom is turd protesting IF the turd does not harm any employees and make them get off their fat asses to clean it up. (i.e. pooping in the grass. It's natural, it can be left there.) If it causes harm to anyone with equal power to you AND that person didn't deserve it, then it goes right back up to turd terrorism.

So far I've mainly had problems with individual people rather than higher-ups or groups. Still I keep in mind that if I have a problem, I can (and have) take it straight to the top and fix it at the source. I'd really have to get pissed to have to resort to using poop, though.

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If your stinker likes to linger, please be nice and flush it twice.

The different catagories Assblaster mentioned open a whole new discussion. Dave, what do you think about defining these in a separate section?

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

My name isn't Dave, but I'm for it.

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If your stinker likes to linger, please be nice and flush it twice.

I find myself in agreement with Ms Blaster.

I think ultimately the act of turd terrorism, retaliation or otherwise can only be justified (or not) by the preceeding set of circumstances leading up to said act.

In some situations the act itself can be deemed amusing. But if you're the unlucky sod who has to clear the mess up, maybe not.

If someone has REALLY pissed me off and the circumstances were prevailing, nothing would be more satisfying than to retaliate in this manner to have the final say.

Animals do it in the wild to show their prowess... I guess the same can be said for humans in some ways.

Just don't shit on your own doorstep that's all.

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You can't polish a turd

turd terrorism is never justified. and turd terorists should never be negotiated with. true turd terrorism is like the name implies, it's terrorism which means that someone is using terror to get what they want. now, at school we had a housget shit all over one of our bathrooms drunk, didn't help to clean it up or anything, so the next time he came over and passed out a log descended from another made it's way onto his chest. i don't consider that turd terorism, i consider that turd justice. however if we'd done that unprovoked that would have been totally rediculous and uncalled for.

One problem with corporate turd terrorism (i.e. shitting on the manager's desk for keeping a shitty store) is that the one you are retaliating agianst more than likely pays someone else to clean up the mess. At least they get to experience your work for a little bit though. I'd prefer to use poop as a retaliation on a personal level, such as flaming poop in the mailbox or the doorstep.

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If your stinker likes to linger, please be nice and flush it twice.

I beleive that there are situations in which turd terrorism is OK. However I can't think of any right now..

Well, ManOfPoop, what if someone's dog is given free range on your yard without anyone cleaning up unless you do it yourself? Round up the turds, put 'em in front of the owner's front door, and go pyromaniac on 'em. Then knock on the door or ring the doorbell and LEG IT!

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If your stinker likes to linger, please be nice and flush it twice.

Double Flush, here's an off topic remark on something I've seen occur over dog shit. It's kind of funny and relates to the theme of justice....

A woman whose husband was the area mayor used to let her dog out to shit across the street while she watched him. The nerve! She never cleaned it up, either. As I walked Gator in the day, I'd catch her doing this from time to time. Well, I was walking Gator one morning after the kids went to school and watched the same woman standing with her door open watching her dog shit on the neighbor's yard, when then the hilarious happened.

The woman who owned the yard said dog was using came out, offered the dog a cookie, and while the dog ate the cookie, she picked up the shit in a plastic bag. Then she used a twisty to tie it to the dog's collar and sent him back across the street, all in front of the woman who owned the dog.

It was really funny to watch the area mayor's wife react to this. She stood there watching the woman tie the shit to the dog's collar, fuming. I stood about 60 feet away, keeping Gator from eating the dog, mesmerized by the unfolding scene. When the dog went back to its owner, I began to walk towards the scene, where I was able to hear the area mayor's wife cuss and mutter about taking care of business. I think this could be considered turd justice or retaliation.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

THAT, Daphne...THAT is the coolest thing I've read all day! Perfectly reasonable justice. Hallelujahamen.

Aw man, that's just awesome. That is a GREAT example of retaliation that I would agree with. On top of that, it's hilarious!

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If your stinker likes to linger, please be nice and flush it twice.

You know you guys, I was privately hoping to see a Jerry Springer moment, but it was still satisfying.

Yeah.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Double Flush, I made the comment above yours about the crap on the manager's desk having to be cleaned up by someone else. I definately agree with you!

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Clones are people, two.

And, The Shit Volcano, I believe we both make a valid point! Seriously, imagine you're the manager. Would you not pay someone for upkeep?

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If your stinker likes to linger, please be nice and flush it twice.

Right now I'm fuming over some unnecessary turd terrorism in the bathroom nearest my room in the dorm. Someone has made a huge mess in the handicrapper stall (from what I can see of the poop and paper on the floor), locked the stall door, and removed the handle so the door can't be pulled open. This is totally uncalled for. Whoever did this deserves to clean it up with his bare hands, rather than the housekeeping staff who have done nothing to cause us any hard feelings.

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Have you checked out Sloan's Uppercut yet?

I am appalled, appalled, at what I am reading here! Without naming any names, a number of the people who I thought were the most responsible members of this site have suddenly turned into vigilantes!

I realize that the social compact doesn't always afford each of us what we deserve, but if we all feel justified in taking the law into our own hands, which is what so-called "turd terrorism" really means, then before long nobody will be safe.

I'm sorry, and maybe I have misunderstood some of the posts above, but this may be the most irresponsible post/thread that I have ever seen on PoopReport.

Not to look too defensive here, but I try to be considerate and not leave a big mess. 'Tis why I double flush in the first place. No need to leave a lingering mess for someone else. I agree with Dumpie (don't attack me, others use that name) that there is a lot of irresponsibility showing up here. I suppose you get some of that when you have a web site featuring all sorts of people from all walks of life with different standards and such.

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Sometimes it jus[MESSAGE TRUNCATED]

As PoopReport continues to grow and attract more people who are interested in its stated mission of "the intellectual exploration of poop humor," I don't think threads like this serve to build up the site.

In response to The Dumpster's comment above: the site has long ago left behind the single-minded concept that it is primarily devoted to humor. Humor remains an important part of the dialogue here, but it is not a requirement for a particular discussion.

Having said that, I am not particularly comfortable with the entire concept of turd terrorism, retaliation or any variant. In short, I don't think bodily wastes should be used as weapons. (Unless it's in self-defense, such as a woman on the verge of being raped. Peeing and pooping under such circumstances can often discourage the attacker.)

There's so much more than just humor now. We all just come and have a good time regardless. I quite like it, personally.

TT is wrong, yes. I wouldn't try pooping/peeing if being raped either. What if the rapist has a fetish for that sort of thing?

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Sometimes it just takes two.

Sharty got it right, Turd Justice is the answer.

For instance, if a guy accidentally drops a log in his jogging pants while with other joggers, and he`s free-balling, and the offending log lands on your shoe as you`re following him, that`s not turd terrorism and does not merit retaliation (a lot of verbal abuse, yes). If, however, said jogger deliberately drops a load on the jogging path surreptisiously in a dark or shadowed part, he deserves to be pounced on and, indeed, shat on.

I am not a jogger by the way.

Thunderbox, I like your logic. It's wrong to start something, but not so bad really if you are getting someone back for using poop on you.

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Sometimes it just takes two.

Thunderbox, (love the name by the way) I say that said jogger should DEFINATELY be wiped in his OWN shit. This may be an appropriate response to some turd terrorists. They defile something with turds for the purpose of being disgusting and therefore know that turds are disgusting. This means a bath in the offending shit used to commit the act of terrorism should be VERY affective.

This does not work for fetishists, however. The_Shitman for example. They may find it hot and even be turned on by the practice. Something would have to be determined for them because turd retaliation wouldn't work very well for them.

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I'm sorry, but it appears that my karma ran over your dogma.

I belive turd terrorism is TOTALLY justified in some situations, and in a case where one is the victim of unwarranted turd terrorism, a turd for a turd is a fine revenge.

I have engaged in turd terrorism myself. I worked for a company. One day the company set a date and said that they would be restructuring and keeping only half of us. They would give us the opportunity to interview to keep our jobs , and announce the successful candidates right away...giving severance to the unsuccessful ones who chose to stay until the final date.

In reality, they gave the job interviews and told the successful applicants right away..but the unsuccessful ones were lied to with "We haven't decided yet" and never offered the severance. In reality, they were strung along and expected to work without knowing if they would still be employed in a month.

I was one of the unsuccessful ones. During the period between the announcement and the firing dates, the workload increased. They were dodgy on the phone, at first about the interview and then they wouldn't even answer calls about the severance. I figured out pretty fast that I was not on the successful list. I know they can hire whomever they want..but what I couldn't stand was the lack of answers...tell me I didn't get it so I can dust off the resume, let me prepare for possible unemployment, and most of all, tell me about the severance package so I could make plans in the event a new job didn't come. Nope..they pretended nothing was going on and kept loading on the work.

This was bullshit. No way was I going to make an effort for a company that acts so shitty. So I turned to turd terrorism.

It was a big campus, so I took to opening pipe spaces in all the men's rooms and putting my logs of shit behind the wall. I also pissed in said pipe spaces. I wrought all kinds of revenge on the place, from keying my radio near radio-sensitive experiments to snipping wires randomly in telephone rooms..but most fun of all was shitting in strange places. Behind lecterns, behind walls, in ventilation shafts, in first aid kits, in dry ice freezers, in library books, and so on.

Sorry PINWORM, but I think you went just a tad bit far on that one, if I do say so myself. I can understand how you were totally filled with rage for the way the company treated you, but did you REALLY need to go THAT far?

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Sometimes it just takes two.

Pinworm, I'm awfully sorry about the shitty way your company treated you, and you might have actually had some legal recourse to the extent they lied to you about the severance and so forth. However, what if everybody felt justfied in acting the way you did? According to your logic, if your neighbor doesn't like the volume of music coming from your house, he is justified in cutting your electric wires, or slashing your tires, etc.

A sixth-grader beat up my Little Dumpster (4th grade) several months back. Am I justified in harming the child? You would probably say "no," but the problem with your logic is that everbody basically gets to decide for himself what the appropriate limits of acceptable social behavior are. In other words, everyone becomes "a law unto himself."

This is the prescription for anarchy, my friend, because then we revert to the rule of force alone (i.e., the law of the jungle).

Again, I sympathize with your job loss, but you would have done them just as much harm, and yourself a lot more good, by vindicating your injuries through proper channels.

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Send all your money to Bilgepump, or to Dave!

The way I saw it, the best revenge is to target the core purpose of management and administration. Leaving a turd on a boss's desk has very little impact. If I am going to be used and left out in the cold, I am going to do something that calls into question the very competance of the manager or department. If I cause administrative problems for the university, I therefore cause professional problems for the administrator. The ensuing chaos gets associated with that administrator.

This is why I think that "innocents" are necessary sacrifices. If a poor slob has to clean up the turd I left on the boss's desk, then he's an unhappy employee..if unhappiness spreads to others, the business suffers. In my case, if experiements were ruined, budgets drained to fix the problems, and students unhappy with the administration, then the ultimate negative effect reaches the real target of the turd terrorism.

Do I think i went too far? No. People who go on killing sprees at the office go too far. People who threaten others go too far. Leaving a couple of turd logs and snipping a few fax lines is nothing in the grand scheme of things.

As to anarchy, I am for it. We are ALREADY bound by the law of the jungle, and we lost to the elites and corporations long ago. We are in a gilded cage, but we are dominated by the powerful..make no mistake. Any chance to fuck them up shoud be taken. They poison your kids and clog your heart for profit.

I sometimes find myself wanting to put an Anarchy A on my shirt because it's a part of my personality that will never change. I control it most of the time (I'm a decent citizen) but it surfaces. Then again, aside from being appalled at what you might read in this thread, we all know that justice is fickle and the "appropriate channels" often fail for the average person like me.

The German national in question whose dog bit me and my child also in two years fathered 3 litters and caused many people with dogs not to be able to walk theirs because the national who owned the dog didn't keep him controlled. Children were told by this man "ride your bike elsewhere" when they rode on the road by his house. A PUBLIC road, mind you. When I took 38 formal written complaints from 38 of the 42 houses in the ringstrasse, the Army failed to act because the guy worked for the Grafenwohr general. Bluntly put, the law seems to work better for certain classes of people. In the eyes of the military, it was acceptable to leave a poodle who bites people out in public around an area with a great amount of children because the children were of non commisioned officer status.

I have seen so many cases in our life in the military like this one where I or members of my family have been let down by the regulatory systems overseeing us that I cannot help but take a stand now and again.

If posting it means that someone is going to take look at me differently, I'll live. So far as I've looked, I'm the only one who has walked in these shoes in the last three and a half decades.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Well, since we've derailed this thing, let's keep it going. I feel like we already live in the laws of the jungle. People see the world and life as being so complex, and it is, but at the same time things are very simple. The best get laid and continue on, the less fortunate take sorry jobs and are less successful. Kind of like the top animals survive in the wild. And it's all driven by our need for food and sex. Take a while and think about that one.

PINWORM, I see your point and your logic. It makes perfect sense how starting low can work its way up to the top and derail the administration. I like it a lot.

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I'm the only geek I know who has to flush twice. Or who clicks on links in people's sigs.

Pinworm -- Your argument reads like a treatise from Bin Laden. You even put innocents in quotes to justify the inhumane way you treated them. You were out for revenge, pure and simple. Don't dress it up to make it seem as if you where trying to bring about a better world. By the way, by the logic of others on this thread, had you been caught doing this, you would have been rolled in your own shit. And DF, don't blame the system for your sorry job. Get to work and make something of yourself.

Working on it, PINWORM; I'm at NCSU right now trying to get my grades up to a better level. Still, though, can you see my point? Those who are more outgoing and vigorous end up on top. Good things come to those who MAKE IT HAPPEN. I have seen for myself that waiting doesn't get you nearly as much.

As for me, I'll re-mention that I'm an engineer in the making. Last summer I was a cashier at a dollar store--typical first job. Gotta start somewhere. It's those older folks who had a chance to make something of themselves and didn't that I am saying fall short of the vigorous ones. Just like the rest of nature. Humans are no different aside from intelligence.

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I'm the only geek I know who has to flush twice. Or who clicks on links in people's sigs.

Sorry for my mistake above, that is addressed to Logjam. My apologies, PINWORM. I was thinking the wrong name after reading.

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I'm the only geek I know who has to flush twice. Or who clicks on links in people's sigs.

You shat in first aid kits Pinworm? That's horrendous but terribly terribly funny. I knew a woman who shat in a kettle and toaster when she got laid off at a place where she made breakfast for workers at a local factory. She was saving up to get a bike for her eldest son. I think there was a lot of crying in their house over that particular festive period.

Dave Im sorry I must respond here being somewhat of a turd terrorist. Let me just first say that NOT ALL shituations call for turd terrorism. Perhaps letting a few farts out in the prescence of the person you are terrorizing will bring them to their knees and they will submit to you. My favorite method here is the closed door fartathon where you just keep farting and farting then leave closing the door believe me they will get the message. Do that in someones car sometime believe you me they will submit to your every wish. Now turd terrorism kicks it up a notch. One should save that sort of thing for real dicks with ears. Too many times I hear someone proudly announce at work that if that person ever fires me I am walking into his or her office and taking a dump on their desk. I ask you is that really necessary? I think a better solution is the fermenting crap bomb. You know you find our if they have a private bathroom go in there take a dump and DONT flush. This works especially well if they are on vacation. That bathroom will be ripe when they get back. Enough to gag a maggot. NOW thats terrorism at its finest. THe message gets sent with NO collateral damage. I do NOT approve of extreme turd terrorism. That would be taking a dump in someones food or on their desk. That is simply NOT necessary. If you use your brain you can think of other ways to stink someone elses life up AND to get what you want at the same time. Peace and Love
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The Thunderous Crapper 63 Enjoying home toilet advantage since 2004!

"I sometimes find myself wanting to put an Anarchy A on my shirt "

If some literate person sees you walking down the street with a big letter A - especially if it's scarlet - on your shirt, they will probably think that your name is Hester Prynne, and may ask you for a date.

I may be many things, but I do love them Puritan women. Amen to that!
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Yo quiero Taco Bell.

I think TT is okay in EXTREME circumstances, when there is no other considerable option. But, what do I know, never been aninstigator or reciciver of it.
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I will never shit somewheree that only has that horrible, scratchy brand of toilet paper. That stuff sucks!

I am a personal believer that turd terrorism is ALWAYS justifiable, whether or not the target of said terrorism deserves it or not.

I mean, come on, let's face it: it's funny as hell one way or another. Even if they're not laughing, I still am.

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"...human shit has more of an almond, or perhaps a macadamia flavor to it. I hope you will all take my advice and really consider tasting your poop some time, as I have. It's really quite an experience." - Ratz

good lord, is there some treatment or cure for either "aninstigator or reciciver"? Sounds awful.
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The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Okay Bilgepump, I know I'm not the best speller, you don't need to keep reminding me of it.
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I will never shit somewhere that only has that horrible, scratchy brand of toilet paper. That stuff sucks!

I developed a recicivic aninstigator on my foot once. It was horrible. Required surgery and about five months of rehabilitative therapy after that. That was the last time I let a monkey borrow my sneakers!

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"You will spray oil when you fart. You will have diarrhea. You will be shitting constantly and you will lose control of your bowels." - Mr. Angry on alli

You too, TT. I know I'm not the best speller. Your comments are unnecessary.
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I will never shit somewhere that only has that horrible, scratchy brand of toilet paper. That stuff sucks!

Fellows - if you really want to know, Aninstigator is a small town in Madagascar and Recicivers are a sub-species of tiny monkeys that are addicted to anal sex.

Thank you so much, Thunderbo. Just to clear everything up, I meant to type instigator and receiver. Is everyone happy now?
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I will never shit somewhere that only has that horrible, scratchy brand of toilet paper. That stuff sucks!

Sorry, I missed the x, *thunderbox
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I will never shit somewhere that only has that horrible, scratchy brand of toilet paper. That stuff sucks!

Actually we're happy for the misspelling. It gives us fodder for more inane comments.

My talent for misspelling seems to have finally come to good use.
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I will never shit somewhere that only has that horrible, scratchy brand of toilet paper. That stuff sucks!

hey GPT, and everyone else really, you should download Firefox and use that instead of poopy old Internet Explorer. because, among many other reasons to switch, Firefox has a built in spell checker. so when you spell something wrong, it puts a little red line under it. very handy, indeed.

and i've seen people twice your age and older with much worse typing/spelling skills. at least you're trying to get better!

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i love poop.

I tried Firefox, but I have a really old computer, and it crashed when I tried to use it. I had to format the hard drive and re-install everything. It's not worth it.
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I will never shit somewhere that only has that horrible, scratchy brand of toilet paper. That stuff sucks!

I both spell and smell by the seat of my pants.

oh, that sucks. well, whenever you get a new computer, switch to Firefox. just do it!
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i love poop.

GPT, relax a little, we're just poking fun, and we do it to EVERYBODY that misspells stuff, we aren't singling you out, nor you being condemned, we revel in our faults and mistakes, and shit. Oh jeez, see how I did that? "Shit"? I am so goddamn good...
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The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Yes you are good, and the biggest wiseass on this site, I think. Maybe not. You're the only one I know of that implements the ultimate way of recycling TP...porcupines, heh heh. Have you ever made the mistake of not turning them inside out?
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I will never shit somewhere that only has that horrible, scratchy brand of toilet paper. That stuff sucks!

I learned from the error of my ways.Only took 8 tries before I figured it, too, because, you know, I are real smart and stuff.
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The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Only 8? I'm surprised. Just some info for you, I have a feeling that using frogs is like using wetwipes, and you can dry off after with a cat.
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I will never shit somewhere that only has that horrible, scratchy brand of toilet paper. That stuff sucks!

Actually a handfull of slugs is more like a wet wipe......so I've heard.

So you heard, hmmm? I have reason to belive those slugs met the same fate as those corncobs...
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I will never shit somewhere that only has that horrible, scratchy brand of toilet paper. That stuff sucks!

I prefer leeches, just stick 'em and forget 'em.
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The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"stick 'em and forget 'em"?? Wasn't that the slogan for the Ronco Leechomatic?

How long do you "stick 'em and forget 'em"?!?
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I will never shit somewhere that only has that horrible, scratchy brand of toilet paper. That stuff sucks!

Until that "not so fresh" feeling is gone.

To what point, shit is gone, or to be sure, the shit's all gone and there's not enough blood left to...do fun stuff?
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I will never shit somewhere that only has that horrible, scratchy brand of toilet paper. That stuff sucks!

I wrote jingles for Ron Popeil years ago. Usually, the little bastards just fall off when their full, usually 2-3 pints worth. One must take care in sitting, or bending over, so as not to smush the boogers.

Before any OTHER word or spelling Nazis get on me about "smush", I've already submitted to the Webster people, and it will be appearing in the next edition of their dictionary.
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The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Trooper, there is a spell check that you can download for your Internet Explorer. Just look for IE plug ins or add ons on Google. It doesn't automatically underline misspelled words, but it has a spellcheck that comes up on a right click in your posting box.

You just gave Tbox a new nickname. Thunderbo. This is Bilgepump became Bidge - a flub.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Yay. I gave someone a new nickname. Although, I'm not too familiar with Thunderbox/thunerbo. I'll have to look at their profile in a little bit
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I will never shit somewhere that only has that horrible, scratchy brand of toilet paper. That stuff sucks!

As an update, especially Bilge, now who I will always think of as the spelling nazi, I have a spell checker from Google Toolbar. yay! I may forget to use it now and again, but...
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I will never shit somewhere that only has that horrible, scratchy brand of toilet paper. That stuff sucks!

crapping where you shouldn't isn't really turd
terrorism unless it's on a floor or somewhere somebody will see it. you suck!!!

i'm still waiting for the Hell's Kitchen head chef to get so pissed off that he hops up on top of one of the steel kitchen tables and takes a huge shit. now THAT would bring in the ratings........

i'm talking like 2 feet long and 3 inches wide Monster Turd.

FL- It is TT. You suck. AC, that's just unsanitary.
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The Original Grasshopper

I forgot about this thread...Leandra got all upset with me...little turd.
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The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Excuse me!?
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The Original Grasshopper

Turd terrorism is justified as means of extreme retaliation against wicked individuals,they asked for it.

Yeah turd terrorism is funny as hell, there are just so many people with unbelievably bad manners and complete lack of respect. I know a few cops who got their vehicles hit with feces (on the undersides of the doorhandles plus down the heating vents, hehehe). There's nothing worse than someone deliberately ENJOYING exploiting their position above you to make your life a living hell. Examples are gold digging women, power tripping bosses, government officials, etc. But I believe in hitting them individually, not their coworkers, unless they're swines too. They can have a free delivery of Captain Wonka's chocolate at night! Fresh from the factory! In fact, you might say I AM the factory!