Pooping Health: Ask The Poodiatrist

ASK DOCTOR HEADER

While PoopReport is primarily a poop humor site, we all know that sometimes poop is no laughing matter. Fortunately for our butts, we have Motherload on our side.

Detailed Reports by Motherload

GENERAL POOP

How Poop Works: A Tour Of The Factory

------ posted 8.31.02006

Detailed Reports by the late Poonurse

DISEASES

Diverticulosis & Diverticulitis

------ posted 6.22.02004

DISEASES

Irritable Bowel Syndrome: Attack Of The Groans

------ posted 3.31.02004

CONSTIPATION

Rabbit Pellet Poop

------ posted 2.6.02004

GENERAL POOP

Floating And Sinking Poop

------ posted 5.6.02004

COPROPHAGIA

Finger-lickin' Good

------ posted 2.27.02004

DIARRHEA

Diarrhea On My Mind

------ posted 1.21.02004

Detailed Reports by the late Dr. Adams

CONSTIPATION

A Poopless Month

------ posted 9.16.02003

GENERAL POOP

Why Do We Pee When Pooping?

------ posted 8.7.02003

FOOD AND DIET

Alcohol And Squirts

------ posted 8.29.02003

FOOD AND DIET

Corn In The Poop

------ posted 6.25.02003

THE POOP HEALTH KNOWLEDGE BASE

(bold links denote in-depth response)

GENERAL POOP KNOWLEDGE

· scratch and dent

· my kid's white poop

· sometimes runny, sometimes solid, always hurting

· always feeling the urge

· giant poops from a normal rectum

· skin in poop

· How Poop Works: A Tour Of The Factory

· floaters until recently

· can you feel poo from the outside?

· chemical composition of poop

· floating poop

· floating and sinking poop

· how long can poop accumulate?

· how long for food to be poop?

· pooping longer when you become a teen?

· poop in the womb

· sudden floater

· tell me about poop

· what happens when you hold poop in?

· what causes giant logs?

· why does poop smell?

· why do we pee when pooping?

PHYSICAL AILMENTS

· flintstones and rubble

· poop health with severe neurological problems

· red lump near ground zero

· bump like a swollen marble

· periodic poop attacks

· blackish-brownish-whitish lumps

· fecal vomiting. yes, fecal vomiting

· chemical butt smell

· bizarre anal mucus

· burning, and white "stuff"

· can you vomit poop?

· does constipation lead to diarrhea?

· explosive, brackish poop

· infrequent and immense BMs

· itchy and lumpy anus

· itchy itchy itchy

· lifelong anal mucus

· little white balls in my poop

· male toxic shock syndrome

· monster logs after childbirth

· mucus, sure. but EXTRA mucus?

· my poop is flat

· need to get rid of stinky breath & farts

· periods and pooing

· poop won't go all the way out

· suddenly i'm pooping a lot more

· thick yellow butt foam

· why is my poop so big?

PSYCHOLOGICAL AILMENTS

· child playing with poop

· stress and bowel habits

· agraphobia? or some poop/psych disease?

· dangers of ass fingering

· finger-lickin' good

· kid mimicking dog eating poop

· masturbating-with-poop fetish

· my girlfriend won't/can't poop away from home

· my kid refuses to go

· my little farting unladylike daughter

· psychological abuse, physical trouble

· twelve-year-old uncontrollable pants pooping

FOOD AND DIET ISSUES

· sticky poop and brown rice

· protein and big poop

· mucus, blood and alcohol

· beer and poop: why is there a correlation?

· could vegetarianism change my poop?

· tomato skin and other surprises

· alcohol and squirts

· corn in the poop

· from eating to pooping: fifteen minutes

· how does spicy food cause the shits?

· how's my diet?

· poop on the South Beach diet

· the effect of certain foods

· tomato skin and other red bits

· when i sobered up, my poop got boring

CONSTIPATION

· will cleansing help constipation?

· my poor constipated son

· can surgery or antibiotics change your poop?

· does constipation really hurt you?

· health risks from manual disimpaction?

· should i push? should i grab it? should i wait?

· weeks without a poop

· a poopless month

· bizarrly clayish poop and excedrin

· constant pain from constipation

· constipation, pain, vomiting

· poop pellets. problem?

· rabbit pellet poop

· sudden clogging

· vicodin problems

DIARRHEA

· antibiotics make it solid

· diarrhea on my mind

· endless diarrhea

· oral antibiotics and diarrhea

· post gallbladderectomy soft-serve

· tarry, yellow, instant trots

POOP COLOR

· algae-esque matter in my poop

· black and tan

· black tongue and blue poop

· green after surgery

· green poop and stomachaches

· i swallow, and then my poop is green

· weed turns my poop green

BLOOD IN THE POOP (go to the doctor!)

· leaky, bloody, but not the usual suspects

· blood in poop -- food poisoning?

· butt blood

· constipated, and only blood comes out

· hemmorhoids and bleeding

· lighter stool, blood

· poop always makes me bleed

· recurring blood in poop

WIPING ISSUES

· asscrackitis: chapped, cracking ass

· bung blood: cut and chafe

· can't wipe, can't afford a bidet...

· did i stretch my anus?

· endless wiping

· itchy ass crack

· my butt is leaky

· why do I wipe so much?

BOWEL DISEASES AND ISSUES

· loud, incessant intestinal rumbles: what do they mean?

· cauterizing your hemorrhoids?

· pain pills and stomach pain

· could they be... eggs???

· dark red, mucousy, bad cramps

· when hemorrhoid medicine doesn't work

· what do you do with a problem like an anorectal abscess?

· oozing butt: is it related to giving birth?

· white on the hair and on the crack

· hole in my butt

· white worm things

· raw vegetable allergy

· dull stomach pain, lots of poop

· explosive post-menopausal diarrhea

· hemorrhoidal aneurism

· how long can you safely sit?

· hyperactive pooping, passing everything

· irritable bowel syndrome and discoloration

· irritable bowel syndrome: attack of the groans

· more about marathons and IBS

· my ass really, really, really smells

· my ass the salad shooter

· my stomach is too loud

· slow, painful, sensitive pooping

· running while running

STAYING HEALTHY

· crack quackery

· hemo-stats

· low-carb diets

· colitis, diverticulitis, oh my!

· kefir?

· thoughts on colon cleansing

· can enemas feel too good?

· dulcolax enema

· pill or liquid laxatives?

· some details on colonics

· stopped smoking, started stinking

· tap water enemas

· the truth behind colonics

FARTING

· Is it unhealthy not to fart?

· the PSI of farts

· uncontrollable farting: myth or reality?

URINE

· orange pee

· urine therapy?

POOP TRIVIA

· what happens to stomach acid?

· does nasal drip reappear in your poop?

· poop smells like mothballs

· gum in stomach

· a tooth in the poop

· calories per crap

· harm in eating poop?

· how many sphincters do we have?

· pooping on the deathbed

· swallowing gum

· the magical mythical p-spot

· what is a poop doctor called?

RIDICULOUS QUESTIONS

· does vodka cure farts?

· do you need to wash urine off?

· a thinly-disguised ploy to hit on Poonurse

· ate poop, feels sick

· can you poop if your butt's asleep?

· health causing dirty bowl?

· help me bring forth the virgin of guadalpoop

· how did you get so smart, Dr. Adams?

· how to wash your hands

· laxative in brownies

· my foot hurts when i pee

· that new book smell makes me poop

· troubles on long nursing shifts?

· what to do with used colostomy bags

· who are you, poonurse?

· will my poops pop my ass zits?

Got a question about the workings of your innards? Motherload knows the answer!

Email daphne { at } poopreport.com with your question. She'll forward it to Motherload. Before you ask, make sure your answer isn't already on this page. It probably is.