That maks perfect sense. I crap a lot worse when I drink a few glasses of scotch then when I drink a few glasses of beer -- because there's more alcohol, which attacks my intestines.

Dang, man.

Just a shout to the good doctor congratulating him on his new column, adding a new dimension to what is already the best website on the Net.

well taht explains my typical sunday morning. thanks!

I'm not too stoked about the idea of killing the cells in my shit factory, but I don't think I could live without icy cold beer. I'm used the watery dumps by now, and I actually kind of enjoy stinking up the shitter after a night of boozing.

I've always wondered about alcohol-related diarrhea, but never knew why exactly it happens. Thanks for the info, Doc.

Geez! That certainly makes you think! Hmmm. Maybe I should quit drinking. Better think it over while I finish my gin & tonic.

Great piece, Doc!

Why is it that all the fun stuff is always bad for you? I guess next time I wake up hung over and wrung out, I can console myself with the knoweledge that it's my own damn fault I feel that way.

The worst is the Vodka shits. They burn so fucking badly!!! They are that clay like consistensy that is too hard to squirt, spray or gush, but too soft to get lubed and slide out. Not to mention the smell. Why is it only with vodka that my shits are so devilish? Damn pinko shit!

Check this site out for a great avatar >> http://btc.montana.edu/imsd/Vanessa/vwgitract.htm

Hello,

Just wanted to thank you all for your positive comments. It has been a pleasure answering your questions and contributing to the Poop Report community. I look forward to continuing my role as the official Poop Report Doctor.

Sincerely,

-Dr. Adams

I've always wondered why alcohol affects the smell of my output so much. Whether it's a beer or a couple of glasses of wine the next day I tend to make rather stink when the time comes to have a #2.

giant stink. big chunk.

this drinking must stop some day.

goddamn. I love it.

DR. I think i may have ate some rotten cheese.My stomach is churning and my farts realy stinks.Smells like rotten velveda. My grandson won't come near me.Everytime i move I fart.But i cant take a dump.What should I do , I don't want my family to leave me.It realy stinks around here.

Careful there, Sharon. You may be devulging way too much information. You wouldn't want the doctor to call the police on you for contaminating your grandson's environment with noxious gasses that may harm his health. And heaven forbid you be arrested for child abuse! Besides, you should lay off the processed cheese stuff. It's very unhealthy, as you have found out the hard way.

i been having loose stools for some time know i use to be a heavy drinker but know i only drink on the weekends. did me drinking alot cause me to have diarrhia permently i cant think of any other reason why i have it everyday can you help.

Alcohol never makes me shit. I even put two shots of spiced rum in a strawberry-banana smoothie (e-mail me for a recipe) and nothing happens. All I do is pee a lot.

"Diarrhea after the consumption of alcohol is not a universal side effect. Many of us who drink do not have episodes of diarrhea afterwards."
I am convinced that I am THE one who throws off the curve. Cheap beer, Beam & Coke, and "repeaters" for the whole next day. I try to eat a few pickled eggs for effect.

I'm 38, and I've only in the last couple of years begun to have this unfortunate effect. Was it like this for others, or has it always been like this for you? I know the body gets less effective as we age, but come on!

Hey I have been having greenish yellow stools that are really mucousy (the consistency of phlegm) or PURE LIQUID that seemingly explodes out of my ass- sometimes these guys are bright neon green! What gives?

Also I have no appetite and yet I find myself gaining weight.
I think it might be due to my heavy drinking, but I am not sure.

Any ideas? I am 23, male and in generally otherwise good health. This has never happened before, but I was going MONTHS without a solid poop.

Ew! Sounds like a liver condition to me, PooGeyser. But I'm not a doctor. Just some nerd who reads a lot of medical journals when I'm not beating my head against a wall because I have no life. Oh, well. I'd still see a doctor about it, if I were you.

Dear poopreporter,
I cant poop if actual get something to come out of my ass it is bloody shit it burns and itches i also cant fart please write me back with something that can help thank you

i barely drink but the few times a year i do i get this bad diarrea do u think it may stop once my body gets more used to drinking? i hate it what can i do

Last week I tried the new "no hangover" tablets called
RU21. I heard about them on the news around New Years.
I followed instructions to take two tablets before drinking and two after the 2nd drink. Also, one before
going to bed. They also said to take a Lot of water with them (I only had about 1 glass). I drank a lot of strong gin and mixer. The next day I had diarrhea and have had it ever since--around 4-5 days. Have never had it this long. Is it possible that this tablet is the cause of all this? I will certainly never use it again, and am afraid to drink alcohol too, so maybe it was a good experience.

This might be weird, but I drink everyday. I'm 23. I wake up drinkin. I take beer in the shower ect. Anyways, by the end of the day or really whenever I find my self shitting here and there. It's so gross. Me nd my friends thinks it's funny, but I wonder if this is serioous or what. And yes I took a weekend break under no choice (some jack ass gave me GHB) and I got sick...Anyways iI didn't shit now I'm ok N drinking again, and here's the shit's....what the hell?

Try not drinking, alcoholic dumbass!

Note to everyone out there. Do NOT drink rum and take valium!!! I don't remember quite what I did but my sister says I turned into some sort of psycho. I also almost threw up on myself. No weird poop to report. Sorry.

thanx for such info. a couple nites ago i had some vodka and woke up with the most terrible runs i hav ever had in 13 years. i didn't know what was wrong now i do. thanx man god bless

i'm sure that while there are other sites out there that can induce a pavlovian response of some sort, i give it up to the poopreport.com for actually making me have to run off at the ass within 10 minutes of visiting. coincindence?

my friends and i always referred to hangover shits as "beer stinkies"...i didn't know that alcohol was that toxic to your body...THANKS DR. ADAMS!!!

I have been sitting on my toilet for 1 hour having diahrrea and not getting up . then i felt like i was gonna barf then i did . the end

I went out drinking night before last, had a few sips of a very spicy bloody mary, then two amaretto sours and two apple martinis with sprite chasers, this was over a period of 5-6 hours, I try to stick to the 1 drink an hour thing but I am sure that the last couple were heavily poured. Yesterday morning I woke up with a very mild hangover, fatigue, and was laying in bed and thought I had gas, but it instead turned out to be explosive diarrhea. Neon Yellow. I ate fried food while drinking (breaded cheese curds) and now I am worried that I either was exposed to Giardiaria (I think that's how it's spelled) Or maybe just drank too much while having greasy food (I didn't eat much else yesterday evening.. just some party snacks.) Can drinking diarrhea ever be bright yellow and burn your sphincter? How long should I wait before I go to the doctor if this persists? My stool (26 hours later) has firmed a little, but all day yesterday I couldn't eat anything, and milk especially screws up my system.. I have no health insurance.. but I know if I have an infectious disease, I at least have to go to the county health department so they can try to figure out where it's coming from.. but if this is my own damned fault for drinking.. I can tough it out. HELP!

Hey Doc, the skin around our (caucasian) assholes starts out nice and white as infants, then tends to become brown with age. Is there any way to reverse this? Is it due to exposure to bile or some other substance contained in feces? Any rectum-mendations would be most appreciated.

Why would anyone care about the color of his/her asshole?!?

Try drinking a bum jug of Carlos Rossi Red Sangria w/like 2 other friends, then eating 7-eleven nachos with onion puss packets on it. Then drinking a 40 oz. of Natural Ice and then eating some boiled beets (optional). Pretty fukkin scary! Vanessa

hey doc, ummi drank alot of dif drink like not alot but i mixed them then threw up twice in the morning then i threw up again and then it was okay but like 2 days after my poop is black n orange n like i woke up with a black tongue!! what should i do

Dr. Adams; it wouldn't be a secretory diarrhoea, then, would it? If it's just lack of water absorption from the small bowel, then it is a malabsortive, osmotic diarrhoea. Cholera, now that's a secretory diarrhoea. Better get studying for those board exams! You forgot to mention the part about the pancreatic inusfficiency, etc. that goes along with alcohol ingestion/toxicity, and its contribution to the diarrhoea that some people get. I personally have never had the runs from even heavy alcohol consumption. Straight Jack Danbiel's will dehydrate you so bad that you'll be lucky to pass a boulder the next morning. I find that a McDonald's Bacon, Egg 'n Cheese Biscuit stimulates the pancreas and other digesticles enough to push things on through.

i drink daily in the evening.. pretty heavily a shot and a beer. I used to take immodium when i get a bout with the shits. but i stopped when i wound up in the hospital with pancreatitis and an ilius.. i still drink and don't take imodium anymore. no pancreatitus episodes, but diarreah is an issue. I am a responsible drinker. any help?

Beer makes me constipated. Hard liquor will sometimes give me the squirts. I had 3 jack on the rocks, 2 beers, and a black russian. Now i've got the squirts from hell. Pepto and imodium have done nothing. HELP!

No matter how much I poo the next day... it'll never be enough to turn me off a drink.

This is about the only website with documented evidence by an MD that alcohol can truly cause diarrhea! It's Christmas EVE and my boyfriend has had the damned squirts all day --- after last night, when he drank a whole large bottle of Kahlua Mudslide. Now I can't even be with him today because I have a compromised immune system for unrelated reasons. and I dunno if it's not caused from something catchy. ass. I drank some too but I realllyyy coulda kicked his ass for drinking all of it. Shithead.

Mudslide....hmmm...
Whiskey and/or vodka never give me the shits...unless I go to Vegas and have a 24hr+ bender (and forget to eat). I hate it when that happens. Sometimes I think alcohol absorbs all the water in my poop. I have had the (rock hard)logs from hell after drinking whiskey. They could hold up a small fence.
For me, diarrhea and alcohol...rarely a connection.

Asphincter says WHAT...(!)

Bacardi 151 does me in every time. One day I shall learn from the folly of my ways.

after a three day bender I get the worst shits ever, only for a couple of days then its gone. I have no idea what thats all about.

Terrrr, if you only get the squirts when you sober up, the obvious solution is to stay drunk all the time.

Strangely enough, my only problem is when I drink beer. Beer gives me the liquidy shits after having just two or three. Anything else (hard liquor, etc.) does not have the same effect. Explanation anyone?

I know this has been explained somwhere before, but whatever happened to Dr. Adams? Did he and PooNurse run off together?

no wonder i keep getting the runs, the last three times i went drinking. i thought it might have been because i ate seafood (i completely avoid certain types of seafood when i'm sober, but recently people keep getting me to eat those shellfishes after a few drinks and i'm more easily persuaded), after reading this i guess it must be the alcohol. this annoys me -- years ago the hangovers weren't as bad, and the alcohol never gave me diarrhea no matter how much i drank......

My problem with beer shits is that I usually go out on the saturday and play football 'soccer to the yanks' early Sunday morning. But of course a beer shit is deadly and gives you no warning on when and where it shall stir. It tends to be when getting changed before a game so a rush to find the changing room toilets is on, and there are some nasty toilets in northern england. I once had to go to college after a night out, the beer shit sturred half way to college, the point where you are furthest from a bog. I was on the toilet for 30mins and turned up to lesson 10 mins late with a sweat on.

I am 26yo and recently had a 3 day session among friends trying different vodkas, only drinking at nite. On the next day after these 3 days, I got the worst yellow watery stool of my life. Still have it. Cant sleep, hardly eat... Everything just goes though me. :(

Guess I should not drink vodka anymore. :(

Last night i drank a half bottle of vodka with 3 tins of that red bull crap, I'm glad I couldn't sleep or I'm sure i would have woken up covered in slimy black bum product. Not only that but i vomited last night and this morning aswell, curse this evil russian concoction I'm stickin to good old fashioned beer in future

Don't blame the vodka. Read up about Red Bull mixed with alcohol.
Google.

_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Anyone else have horrible smelling poop after drinking? I'm 30 & it just started happening in the past year or two. Seems to happen after heavy drinking, or even after just 3 drinks, no matter the type of alcohol (spirits, wine, etc)- what causes it?

(*sing-song voice*) Ohhhhhh.....Poo...di...a...TRIiiiii...ciaaaaaan.....!

This is so weird. I started having this problem about 1 month ago. I'm 31, and I have gone out with my friends for a long time, and just now I started feeling this way. I guess I"m just too old to party like I used to. Mojitos, or anything with rum (my favorite liquor) wil make me feel this way... It sucks! I guess it is time to retire from partying...

haii.. im 15 and i drink like most teenagers do at thu weekend soO.. my fav drink is vodka but thu morning after i find my self having diarrhea!! i thought i just had a bug at first but then when i drank more vodka the same happend again looking from thu above im not thu only one out there huh x

We know the parents have failed when 15 year olds are drinking vodka.

We know the school systems have failed when 15 year olds can't spell the.

Drink more, eat less fiber, shit yourself to death.

well every time i have over like 15 beers the next day i will have the shitty squirts for exactly a 24 hour period from around the time i wake up. i just now recovered from it and at the end i shit every 20 minutes for about 4 hours i thought i was going to pass out, LMAO....ok have a nice day.

Are you going to do it again young man? Have you learned your lesson?

Sorry. I just had to ask someone the same shit my parents would have asked me.

_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

I'm 32, I've been drinking fairly heavily for the past 7 yrs. This shit stuff only occured in the past 3. After a binge, I shit yellowy,watery, mucus type shit. And it burns my asshole. Goes away after two days of abstaining from alcohol.

"Drink more, eat less fiber, shit yourself to death."
lmaooo

ok, it seems like most of you have IBS, and thats not a laughing matter at all. I used to drink a lot and never had a problem. Then one fateful day I took a small dose of antibiotics and then went out and downed a few tequilas and beers. The next day I had the worst diarrea ever! 3 years later and I am still not ok.

My advice to all you boozers out there. STOP DRINKING ITS NOT WORTH IT!

and if you do. do it in moderation!

hey, nice site doc!
every time i drink jim beam and coke i have the worst shits the next day.. even worse its black from all the coke.. its fucked cos i cant even eat.. but thanks again i understand why I shit alot after drinking!

I went to a place that had all the liquor you can drink for $10.00. Well after they closed I went back to my hotel and started puking my brains out which in turn led to me shitting all over the hotel room floor and my pants. Lying there in puke and shit. Was I poisoned by alcohol?

Ya think?

Do any of you who get these alcohol related diarrhea, also get it with A LOT of stomach pain???

JustAsking: i do. today is the worst I've experienced "alcohol shits" and all I drank was cap't and coke all night. My stomach is in knots and i'm finding myself having explosive shitting episodes.

I typically have mild shits after drinking, but looking at a previous post, i was on antibiotics recently and i'm wondering if that's causing this.

Liquor in moderation is good for my bowels... it seems to stimulate it and everything is much fuller in the morning. An excess or light alcohol (wine,beer) is not good.

Dear Doc,
I was just wondering if you knew what alcoholic drink has the least side affects when it come to diarrhea and vomiting?

Thanks :)

i drink vodka pretty regularly but i usually stick to gordon's , so like two days ago i try a shot of smirnoff and i've felt like i'm constipated but have diahrrea at the same time and it sucks balls. didn't sleep at all last night. wtf? i didn't know my body could tell the difference but apparently...

man some of these made me laugh out loud. Just recently I've been peeing out of my ass almost constantly. It stopped after a couple days once, with a little medication for diarrhea, but a little more alcohol quickly saw that my pee came out of my ass again. . not really stomach pains, but some churning in there. Dunoo if I should take it serious or not, nothing on the web seems to point to something life threatening, but still I'm wary of the ass peeing.

I used to drink all the time. Ever since I turned 29 I get the runny shits everytime I drink. It is so bad that I think I have to fart and I shit in my pants if I'm not carefult. anyone? Is my liver dying? HELP

After looking back over this particular comment thread, I've decided that drinking also cripples the pinkies, thus resulting in an inability to hit the caps buttons on a computer.

_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

This is why I don't drink. I just drive others to drink. At least this is what my wife says...

Dysentary: Having the squirts for a prolonged period of time can cause dehydradion. I would stop drinking, make an appointment with the doc and get everything checked out. Better safe than sorry.

I recently cut way the heck back on drinking, and now more often than not have solid turds again. Whiskey gives me the morning shits then by the evening everything is a-ok in that department.

Daphne, the booze may explain the pinky problem, BUT WHAT ABOUT WHEN THEY CAN'T TAKE THE CAPS OFF?

What causes that?

this has REALLY helped! i get this shits everytime i drink, i guess i do toooo much. eggh but i love it.

So it's not just me who has this problem then. Good to know. I had been just fine drinking - even bingeing now and then with the boys; however, ever since I turned 29 or so, I'm seriously unwell after drinking, even only a modest three beers or one glass of wine on a healthy, full stomach. I have serious evacuation issues. My stomach doesn't like the booze but my brain sure does. I've had to reconcile the two recently. I'm no longer a drinker for health reasons. To those who can still imbibe, all I can say is count your lucky stars.

I have had this problem for more than 8 years. Two or more drinks of any thing and there is trouble. I'm 43 and just quit drinking for health reasons. I swear I've almost died from alot to drink and very hot spicy food. Live to learn and learn to live.

I went to college in Milwaukee. There is a place there called Real Chili. When I tell you if you get their chili to go it literally leaks thru the styrofoam container its NO LIE this stuff is LETHAL. Combine THAT with a night of drinking. Let me tell you if you are too drunk to order be careful,some people think its funny to order for you and they always get the chili of the FIVE alarm variety. This not only produces shits of biblical proportions, it also produces DAYS worth of LASER farts that burn holes in your sheets and in your shorts. It was and probably still is quite the place!
_______
The Thunderous Crapper 63 Enjoying home toilet advantage since 2004!

That sounds delicious! Could I get a splash of Tabasco on top of that, please? Yum.

yeah the whole shit thing really bothered me too! until i found the CURE, well atleast for me. good ole 1800 tequila! !!!GODSEND!!!
found something that gives me no hangover or squirts!

I used to drink an assload...every day for weeks at a time....got the bud-mud from drinking excessively. Now I have IBS, and shit all the time...Can binge drinking all the time for several years cause this? I'm only 25...
However, i like to throw my farts at my girlfriend.......hahahaha

I'm wondering why having a few belts the day after seems to "cure" the wateriness (until the next morning)
Doc?

Hi Doc,
31 yo, I admit I drink about 6-8 glasses of wine per night. I constantly have the runs. I take metamucil but it doesn't help. I'm worried about bowel cancer. do you think it may just be the wine?

This question would be best handled in the hands of a professional wino. Me.

Your answer is yes. The wine is definitely giving you the runs.
_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Okay, I thought I was the only one with this problem. But it isnt the next day for me, as soon as I drink a sip of wine I have to run to a bathrooom and the poop explodes out of me. I drink every other day, about a bottle of wine. Is it time to give up the booze?

banrigh, Nope keep boozing. This too shall pass. Then normal poops.
Producing waste since 1967

man oh man...i sure am drunk...however, the mad fecal matter that will go down down down like a burning ring of fire has more to do with the half bottle of tapatio i put on my chicken enchilada. so good man. im sure the 6 heinis amd the 3 vodka tonics dont help though. The moral of the story: of your sttill reading this your are simple, or as drunk as i am. And I would like to be your dear friend...so lonley...

I have just spent 15 mins reading all the comments (and been for an ass blast twice in that time..) I'm not sure that I have cured anything but i laughed so hard i nearly shit myself! Ive suffered with this for about 8years and boy is it getting wearing. I keep saying ill give up the beer for a bit to see if it is that which causes it but i cant seem to manage more than 1/2 day without a pint. Maybe the squirts isnt my only issue..... haha keep smiling.

I drank a few drinks that were made with some Midori and blue Curacao last night. It stained my poop green! But that's way better than when I drink vodka and my shit smells so bad. I don't know why, but vodka makes it so stinky. Nothing else does it to me.

I'm a pothead so I don't drink, but I might just go out and get a bottle of vodka to experience the infamous beer shits. Sounds better than a bum rush from a mc d's sausage egg and cheese!

I slowed down from 4 or 5 times a week of drinkin heavey. To once or twice and often have two beers instead of 12 and guess what? Shits be gone! Suddenly fiber and eating right and exercise are not so uncool. As long as I moderate to the extream I think I can have a few good Ice cold brews we so love & admire. What do you think?

I've always wondered why alcohol affects the smell of my output so much. Whether it's a beer or a couple of glasses of wine the next day I tend to make rather stink when the time comes to have a #2. drug rehab in california

I also suffer from this problem, are there any cures????

This never used to be a problem for me, but it has become one. I stopped drinking while pregnant and breastfeeding (duh), but now even one drink will leave me with horrible cramps, foul gas and diarrhea for the next 24 hours. More than one drink and you can add vomiting to the list. It really sucks... I'm not a heavy drinker and I would like to be able to go out a couple times/year and not ruin the next day or two for myself.

so i have read all of these and realized that only onne pperson has posted a CURE for the diharrea problem. for me, Jose Cuervo (tequila) gives me NO hang over or diharrea. and thats saying a lot, considering that i get the squirts from most all types of alcohol. the one night that i had Jose Cuervo, i was expecting to have some narly shits the next morning, but even though i had a TON of it that night, i had no sort of stomach pains the next morning.. so give that a try. PATRONE on the other hand.. did give me the shits. i only trust good old Jose Cuervo.

yyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh man does this topic touch home (and cotton). I've been having the Hell Squirts off and on for some time, but I had already figured out it was related to my drinking. I'm only 21 and other forms of liquor don't seem to do too bad, plus if I eat a good amount of real food (non-gas station or McDonald's level garbage) it stifles the effect. However on my normal diet and not eating a ton most days, the vodka gets my guts twisted like a copper wire in a hurricane. Unfortunately it's the alcohol I love most too. Grey Goose always lets me have it but I just got some Stoli Elit - may God help my culo.

TidalSpiral - What?

_______
Shitler - The Real Poop Nazi. I also have a joke about him hating Pews (Poo + Jew) but that's a little too offensive....

TidalSpiral, you might have a problem with grain alcohol. Try a good Polish potato vodka, and report back with the results.

If anything has come out of reading this discussion board it is that I must endevour to try new varietals of alcohol. I too am one of those 30+ year olds who has always consumed large quantites of alcohol without a drama... up until recently. At first I thought it was rum-bum... so I kissed goodbye to the rum. But then champagne, port... you name it. Its great to hear Im not alone and that my liver's not packing up on me.

I'm glad I've cut way back on the booze too. With my angry bowels and the lactose intolerance in full swing, any kind of liquor just adds fuel to the fire. It may take people many years and lots of stained shorts to come to this conclusion, but sooner or later we all poop ourselves.

_______
Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

Shitwit, just do what I did. Install a mini bar above the toilet.

Doc I am a 22 year old heavy drinker and I shit dirty green waste into the toilet after long nights of drinking dry bourbon and tequila. I had some really cheap Tequila last night and now I am farting and my ass is leaking. I have been on the toilet for hours. But I think that it might be due to the fifteen dollars worth of Taco Bell I ate after 6 shots of Pepe Lopez. Help me Doc!

Stop drinking? I prefer to stop shitting.

I've been a heavy drinker since i was 16, most of the time cheap malt liquor(about 5pints of 8.5 a day) since i cant hold a job due to my alc intake lol. ive got this for the last 3 years but when i do stop drinking for more then 2-3days it goes back to normal.

i also sometimes get throw up in the same constant squirting, for up to 12hrs at a time sometimes, and it has the same traces of yellow bile my shit does, sometimes my shit goes BLACK to lol, thats never fun to see. no odd smells tho :) , 90% of the time anyways.

Well after a night out and heavy drinking session. ove vodka i always get th e runs but also a foostie smell as well. I also sweat really bad below the waist. Any help? Cheers

I'm only 22 but have always been more a pothead than a boozer, and maybe I should stay that way. We bought a keg of Amber Bock this weekend since the beer stores are closed on Sunday and we didn't want to run out. I only weigh about 100 lbs, and drank quite a few beers, and now I literally can't even stop swearing and whining enough to read on the pot! It's AWFUL! The majority of these posts being from 30+ people makes me wonder if my body is just not designed for alcohol. This happens almost EVERY TIME I get drunk! Tipsy, I'm okay. Drunk, I'm shitting everywhere. I'm also poop shy so I just have to pray my boyfriend is asleep and I can creep downstairs.

Time to go poop again. :( My asshole is on fire.