Alcohol And Squirts?

l 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb


Dear Poopreport,

Why is crap so watery and fluid-like after a night of drinking? Bud mud or beer shit. Southern Comfort will really twist up your guts -- sometimes I use almost an entire roll of paper. Should I stop drinking or eat more fiber?

-- Insane Wayne

The answer is relatively straightforward: Alcohol is a toxin, and is toxic to the human body in even moderate amounts.

While we may have a few drinks and not feel anything, our body certainly takes notice of the alcohol. Alcohol is toxic to any area of the body that it touches -- from the point where it comes in contact with the oral cavity and is swallowed, down the esophagus, and into the stomach, alcohol is poisonous to cells and tissues of these parts of the digestive system.

The absorption of alcohol begins in the stomach and continues in the small intestine, where the bulk of the alcohol is absorbed. As the intestinal cells absorb the alcohol, the toxicity causes these cells to lose their ability to absorb water, and some cells even die. The cell injury and death leads to an outpouring of fluid from the intestinal lining, which is in turn poorly absorbed.

The end result is large volume secretory diarrhea. The diarrhea usually lasts for several hours until the alcohol is detoxified and removed from the digestive system.

Diarrhea after the consumption of alcohol is not a universal side effect. Many of us who drink do not have episodes of diarrhea afterwards. Why this occurs in some and not others is most likely related to the sensitivity of our individual digestive systems to alcohol, along with the amount of alcohol consumed. Furthermore, other kinds of food and drink can certainly cause and/or worsen diarrhea that was already caused by alcohol.

Does this mean we should never drink alcohol? No. Alcohol has been shown to have many beneficial effects throughout our bodies. However, I want to emphasize that alcohol is toxic -- it kills millions of people in the world every year, and should be consumed in small amounts with responsibility, moderation, and respect. Even by PoopReporters.

Best wishes,

Dr. Adams

Dr. Adams is a resident in the Department of Internal Medicine at North Shore University Hopsital in Manhasset, NY. Got a question for him?

259 Comments on "Alcohol And Squirts?"

Tydirium's picture
k 500+ points

That maks perfect sense. I crap a lot worse when I drink a few glasses of scotch then when I drink a few glasses of beer -- because there's more alcohol, which attacks my intestines.

Dang, man.

The Big Wiper's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Just a shout to the good doctor congratulating him on his new column, adding a new dimension to what is already the best website on the Net.

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

bob's picture

well taht explains my typical sunday morning. thanks!

Carlos's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

I'm not too stoked about the idea of killing the cells in my shit factory, but I don't think I could live without icy cold beer. I'm used the watery dumps by now, and I actually kind of enjoy stinking up the shitter after a night of boozing.

I've always wondered about alcohol-related diarrhea, but never knew why exactly it happens. Thanks for the info, Doc.

Ass Phlegm's picture
PoopReport of the Year Awardl 100+ points

Geez! That certainly makes you think! Hmmm. Maybe I should quit drinking. Better think it over while I finish my gin & tonic.

Great piece, Doc!

Artful Dodger's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorl 100+ points

Why is it that all the fun stuff is always bad for you? I guess next time I wake up hung over and wrung out, I can console myself with the knoweledge that it's my own damn fault I feel that way.

fake name's picture

The worst is the Vodka shits. They burn so fucking badly!!! They are that clay like consistensy that is too hard to squirt, spray or gush, but too soft to get lubed and slide out. Not to mention the smell. Why is it only with vodka that my shits are so devilish? Damn pinko shit!

Yakov Muscownovich's picture

Check this site out for a great avatar >>

Dr. Adams's picture
l 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb


Just wanted to thank you all for your positive comments. It has been a pleasure answering your questions and contributing to the Poop Report community. I look forward to continuing my role as the official Poop Report Doctor.


-Dr. Adams

Adrian's picture

I've always wondered why alcohol affects the smell of my output so much. Whether it's a beer or a couple of glasses of wine the next day I tend to make rather stink when the time comes to have a #2.

pootastic's picture

giant stink. big chunk.

this drinking must stop some day.

goddamn. I love it.

Sharon D.'s picture

DR. I think i may have ate some rotten cheese.My stomach is churning and my farts realy stinks.Smells like rotten velveda. My grandson won't come near me.Everytime i move I fart.But i cant take a dump.What should I do , I don't want my family to leave me.It realy stinks around here.

Evan Moore, Ph.D's picture

Careful there, Sharon. You may be devulging way too much information. You wouldn't want the doctor to call the police on you for contaminating your grandson's environment with noxious gasses that may harm his health. And heaven forbid you be arrested for child abuse! Besides, you should lay off the processed cheese stuff. It's very unhealthy, as you have found out the hard way.

just a girl's picture

i been having loose stools for some time know i use to be a heavy drinker but know i only drink on the weekends. did me drinking alot cause me to have diarrhia permently i cant think of any other reason why i have it everyday can you help.

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Alcohol never makes me shit. I even put two shots of spiced rum in a strawberry-banana smoothie (e-mail me for a recipe) and nothing happens. All I do is pee a lot.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Ew! Sounds like a liver condition to me, PooGeyser. But I'm not a doctor. Just some nerd who reads a lot of medical journals when I'm not beating my head against a wall because I have no life. Oh, well. I'd still see a doctor about it, if I were you.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

PooGeyser's picture

Hey I have been having greenish yellow stools that are really mucousy (the consistency of phlegm) or PURE LIQUID that seemingly explodes out of my ass- sometimes these guys are bright neon green! What gives?

Also I have no appetite and yet I find myself gaining weight.
I think it might be due to my heavy drinking, but I am not sure.

Any ideas? I am 23, male and in generally otherwise good health. This has never happened before, but I was going MONTHS without a solid poop.

Zeke's picture

I'm 38, and I've only in the last couple of years begun to have this unfortunate effect. Was it like this for others, or has it always been like this for you? I know the body gets less effective as we age, but come on!

Otter's picture

"Diarrhea after the consumption of alcohol is not a universal side effect. Many of us who drink do not have episodes of diarrhea afterwards."
I am convinced that I am THE one who throws off the curve. Cheap beer, Beam & Coke, and "repeaters" for the whole next day. I try to eat a few pickled eggs for effect.

Laura's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Dear poopreporter,
I cant poop if actual get something to come out of my ass it is bloody shit it burns and itches i also cant fart please write me back with something that can help thank you

c's picture

i barely drink but the few times a year i do i get this bad diarrea do u think it may stop once my body gets more used to drinking? i hate it what can i do

DB's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Last week I tried the new "no hangover" tablets called
RU21. I heard about them on the news around New Years.
I followed instructions to take two tablets before drinking and two after the 2nd drink. Also, one before
going to bed. They also said to take a Lot of water with them (I only had about 1 glass). I drank a lot of strong gin and mixer. The next day I had diarrhea and have had it ever since--around 4-5 days. Have never had it this long. Is it possible that this tablet is the cause of all this? I will certainly never use it again, and am afraid to drink alcohol too, so maybe it was a good experience.

some chick's picture

This might be weird, but I drink everyday. I'm 23. I wake up drinkin. I take beer in the shower ect. Anyways, by the end of the day or really whenever I find my self shitting here and there. It's so gross. Me nd my friends thinks it's funny, but I wonder if this is serioous or what. And yes I took a weekend break under no choice (some jack ass gave me GHB) and I got sick...Anyways iI didn't shit now I'm ok N drinking again, and here's the shit's....what the hell?

freakazoid's picture

Try not drinking, alcoholic dumbass!

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Note to everyone out there. Do NOT drink rum and take valium!!! I don't remember quite what I did but my sister says I turned into some sort of psycho. I also almost threw up on myself. No weird poop to report. Sorry.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

d'ANGELO's picture

thanx for such info. a couple nites ago i had some vodka and woke up with the most terrible runs i hav ever had in 13 years. i didn't know what was wrong now i do. thanx man god bless

Jared's picture

i'm sure that while there are other sites out there that can induce a pavlovian response of some sort, i give it up to the for actually making me have to run off at the ass within 10 minutes of visiting. coincindence?

pooQueen's picture

my friends and i always referred to hangover shits as "beer stinkies"...i didn't know that alcohol was that toxic to your body...THANKS DR. ADAMS!!!

lonh's picture

I have been sitting on my toilet for 1 hour having diahrrea and not getting up . then i felt like i was gonna barf then i did . the end

mm's picture

I went out drinking night before last, had a few sips of a very spicy bloody mary, then two amaretto sours and two apple martinis with sprite chasers, this was over a period of 5-6 hours, I try to stick to the 1 drink an hour thing but I am sure that the last couple were heavily poured. Yesterday morning I woke up with a very mild hangover, fatigue, and was laying in bed and thought I had gas, but it instead turned out to be explosive diarrhea. Neon Yellow. I ate fried food while drinking (breaded cheese curds) and now I am worried that I either was exposed to Giardiaria (I think that's how it's spelled) Or maybe just drank too much while having greasy food (I didn't eat much else yesterday evening.. just some party snacks.) Can drinking diarrhea ever be bright yellow and burn your sphincter? How long should I wait before I go to the doctor if this persists? My stool (26 hours later) has firmed a little, but all day yesterday I couldn't eat anything, and milk especially screws up my system.. I have no health insurance.. but I know if I have an infectious disease, I at least have to go to the county health department so they can try to figure out where it's coming from.. but if this is my own damned fault for drinking.. I can tough it out. HELP!

musculus sphincter ani externus's picture

Hey Doc, the skin around our (caucasian) assholes starts out nice and white as infants, then tends to become brown with age. Is there any way to reverse this? Is it due to exposure to bile or some other substance contained in feces? Any rectum-mendations would be most appreciated.

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Why would anyone care about the color of his/her asshole?!?

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

Nessa's picture

Try drinking a bum jug of Carlos Rossi Red Sangria w/like 2 other friends, then eating 7-eleven nachos with onion puss packets on it. Then drinking a 40 oz. of Natural Ice and then eating some boiled beets (optional). Pretty fukkin scary! Vanessa

brittney's picture

hey doc, ummi drank alot of dif drink like not alot but i mixed them then threw up twice in the morning then i threw up again and then it was okay but like 2 days after my poop is black n orange n like i woke up with a black tongue!! what should i do

wrecked-hole prolapse's picture

Dr. Adams; it wouldn't be a secretory diarrhoea, then, would it? If it's just lack of water absorption from the small bowel, then it is a malabsortive, osmotic diarrhoea. Cholera, now that's a secretory diarrhoea. Better get studying for those board exams! You forgot to mention the part about the pancreatic inusfficiency, etc. that goes along with alcohol ingestion/toxicity, and its contribution to the diarrhoea that some people get. I personally have never had the runs from even heavy alcohol consumption. Straight Jack Danbiel's will dehydrate you so bad that you'll be lucky to pass a boulder the next morning. I find that a McDonald's Bacon, Egg 'n Cheese Biscuit stimulates the pancreas and other digesticles enough to push things on through.

jack's picture

i drink daily in the evening.. pretty heavily a shot and a beer. I used to take immodium when i get a bout with the shits. but i stopped when i wound up in the hospital with pancreatitis and an ilius.. i still drink and don't take imodium anymore. no pancreatitus episodes, but diarreah is an issue. I am a responsible drinker. any help?

black russian's picture

Beer makes me constipated. Hard liquor will sometimes give me the squirts. I had 3 jack on the rocks, 2 beers, and a black russian. Now i've got the squirts from hell. Pepto and imodium have done nothing. HELP!

Brewhaha's picture

No matter how much I poo the next day... it'll never be enough to turn me off a drink.

Nova gasp!'s picture

This is about the only website with documented evidence by an MD that alcohol can truly cause diarrhea! It's Christmas EVE and my boyfriend has had the damned squirts all day --- after last night, when he drank a whole large bottle of Kahlua Mudslide. Now I can't even be with him today because I have a compromised immune system for unrelated reasons. and I dunno if it's not caused from something catchy. ass. I drank some too but I realllyyy coulda kicked his ass for drinking all of it. Shithead.

mott the poople's picture
l 100+ points

Whiskey and/or vodka never give me the shits...unless I go to Vegas and have a 24hr+ bender (and forget to eat). I hate it when that happens. Sometimes I think alcohol absorbs all the water in my poop. I have had the (rock hard)logs from hell after drinking whiskey. They could hold up a small fence.
For me, diarrhea and alcohol...rarely a connection.

Asphincter says WHAT...(!)

Asphincter says WHAT...(!)

Cracktacular's picture
l 100+ points

Bacardi 151 does me in every time. One day I shall learn from the folly of my ways.

Crack kills

Terrrrrrible's picture

after a three day bender I get the worst shits ever, only for a couple of days then its gone. I have no idea what thats all about.

The Dumpster's picture
i 2000+ points

Terrrr, if you only get the squirts when you sober up, the obvious solution is to stay drunk all the time.

beershits's picture

Strangely enough, my only problem is when I drink beer. Beer gives me the liquidy shits after having just two or three. Anything else (hard liquor, etc.) does not have the same effect. Explanation anyone?

The Dumpster's picture
i 2000+ points

I know this has been explained somwhere before, but whatever happened to Dr. Adams? Did he and PooNurse run off together?

partypooper's picture

no wonder i keep getting the runs, the last three times i went drinking. i thought it might have been because i ate seafood (i completely avoid certain types of seafood when i'm sober, but recently people keep getting me to eat those shellfishes after a few drinks and i'm more easily persuaded), after reading this i guess it must be the alcohol. this annoys me -- years ago the hangovers weren't as bad, and the alcohol never gave me diarrhea no matter how much i drank......

Northy's picture
l 100+ points

My problem with beer shits is that I usually go out on the saturday and play football 'soccer to the yanks' early Sunday morning. But of course a beer shit is deadly and gives you no warning on when and where it shall stir. It tends to be when getting changed before a game so a rush to find the changing room toilets is on, and there are some nasty toilets in northern england. I once had to go to college after a night out, the beer shit sturred half way to college, the point where you are furthest from a bog. I was on the toilet for 30mins and turned up to lesson 10 mins late with a sweat on.

Hershey Man's picture

I am 26yo and recently had a 3 day session among friends trying different vodkas, only drinking at nite. On the next day after these 3 days, I got the worst yellow watery stool of my life. Still have it. Cant sleep, hardly eat... Everything just goes though me. :(

Guess I should not drink vodka anymore. :(

captain ring sting's picture

Last night i drank a half bottle of vodka with 3 tins of that red bull crap, I'm glad I couldn't sleep or I'm sure i would have woken up covered in slimy black bum product. Not only that but i vomited last night and this morning aswell, curse this evil russian concoction I'm stickin to good old fashioned beer in future

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

Don't blame the vodka. Read up about Red Bull mixed with alcohol.

.....hugging bunnies since 1969

.....hugging bunnies since 1969

Post new comment

  • Allowed HTML tags: s:62:"<em> <strong> <cite> <code> <ul> <ol> <li> <dl> <dt> <dd> <br>";
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.

More information about formatting options

This question is for testing whether you are a human visitor and to prevent automated spam submissions.
Enter the characters shown in the image.
To prevent automated spam submissions leave this field empty.