Alcohol And Squirts?

// // 258 Comments
l 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb
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Dear Poopreport,

Why is crap so watery and fluid-like after a night of drinking? Bud mud or beer shit. Southern Comfort will really twist up your guts -- sometimes I use almost an entire roll of paper. Should I stop drinking or eat more fiber?

-- Insane Wayne



The answer is relatively straightforward: Alcohol is a toxin, and is toxic to the human body in even moderate amounts.

While we may have a few drinks and not feel anything, our body certainly takes notice of the alcohol. Alcohol is toxic to any area of the body that it touches -- from the point where it comes in contact with the oral cavity and is swallowed, down the esophagus, and into the stomach, alcohol is poisonous to cells and tissues of these parts of the digestive system.

The absorption of alcohol begins in the stomach and continues in the small intestine, where the bulk of the alcohol is absorbed. As the intestinal cells absorb the alcohol, the toxicity causes these cells to lose their ability to absorb water, and some cells even die. The cell injury and death leads to an outpouring of fluid from the intestinal lining, which is in turn poorly absorbed.

The end result is large volume secretory diarrhea. The diarrhea usually lasts for several hours until the alcohol is detoxified and removed from the digestive system.

Diarrhea after the consumption of alcohol is not a universal side effect. Many of us who drink do not have episodes of diarrhea afterwards. Why this occurs in some and not others is most likely related to the sensitivity of our individual digestive systems to alcohol, along with the amount of alcohol consumed. Furthermore, other kinds of food and drink can certainly cause and/or worsen diarrhea that was already caused by alcohol.

Does this mean we should never drink alcohol? No. Alcohol has been shown to have many beneficial effects throughout our bodies. However, I want to emphasize that alcohol is toxic -- it kills millions of people in the world every year, and should be consumed in small amounts with responsibility, moderation, and respect. Even by PoopReporters.

Best wishes,

Dr. Adams

Dr. Adams is a resident in the Department of Internal Medicine at North Shore University Hopsital in Manhasset, NY. Got a question for him?

258 Comments on "Alcohol And Squirts?"

Tydirium's picture
k 500+ points
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That maks perfect sense. I crap a lot worse when I drink a few glasses of scotch then when I drink a few glasses of beer -- because there's more alcohol, which attacks my intestines.

Dang, man.

The Big Wiper's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
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Just a shout to the good doctor congratulating him on his new column, adding a new dimension to what is already the best website on the Net.

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

bob's picture
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well taht explains my typical sunday morning. thanks!

Carlos's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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I'm not too stoked about the idea of killing the cells in my shit factory, but I don't think I could live without icy cold beer. I'm used the watery dumps by now, and I actually kind of enjoy stinking up the shitter after a night of boozing.

I've always wondered about alcohol-related diarrhea, but never knew why exactly it happens. Thanks for the info, Doc.

Ass Phlegm's picture
PoopReport of the Year Awardl 100+ points
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Geez! That certainly makes you think! Hmmm. Maybe I should quit drinking. Better think it over while I finish my gin & tonic.

Great piece, Doc!

Artful Dodger's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorl 100+ points
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Why is it that all the fun stuff is always bad for you? I guess next time I wake up hung over and wrung out, I can console myself with the knoweledge that it's my own damn fault I feel that way.

fake name's picture
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The worst is the Vodka shits. They burn so fucking badly!!! They are that clay like consistensy that is too hard to squirt, spray or gush, but too soft to get lubed and slide out. Not to mention the smell. Why is it only with vodka that my shits are so devilish? Damn pinko shit!

Yakov Muscownovich's picture
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Check this site out for a great avatar >> http://btc.montana.edu/imsd/Vanessa/vwgitract.htm

Dr. Adams's picture
l 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb
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Hello,

Just wanted to thank you all for your positive comments. It has been a pleasure answering your questions and contributing to the Poop Report community. I look forward to continuing my role as the official Poop Report Doctor.

Sincerely,

-Dr. Adams

Adrian's picture
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I've always wondered why alcohol affects the smell of my output so much. Whether it's a beer or a couple of glasses of wine the next day I tend to make rather stink when the time comes to have a #2.

pootastic's picture
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giant stink. big chunk.

this drinking must stop some day.

goddamn. I love it.

Sharon D.'s picture
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DR. I think i may have ate some rotten cheese.My stomach is churning and my farts realy stinks.Smells like rotten velveda. My grandson won't come near me.Everytime i move I fart.But i cant take a dump.What should I do , I don't want my family to leave me.It realy stinks around here.

Evan Moore, Ph.D's picture
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Careful there, Sharon. You may be devulging way too much information. You wouldn't want the doctor to call the police on you for contaminating your grandson's environment with noxious gasses that may harm his health. And heaven forbid you be arrested for child abuse! Besides, you should lay off the processed cheese stuff. It's very unhealthy, as you have found out the hard way.

just a girl's picture
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i been having loose stools for some time know i use to be a heavy drinker but know i only drink on the weekends. did me drinking alot cause me to have diarrhia permently i cant think of any other reason why i have it everyday can you help.

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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Alcohol never makes me shit. I even put two shots of spiced rum in a strawberry-banana smoothie (e-mail me for a recipe) and nothing happens. All I do is pee a lot.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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Ew! Sounds like a liver condition to me, PooGeyser. But I'm not a doctor. Just some nerd who reads a lot of medical journals when I'm not beating my head against a wall because I have no life. Oh, well. I'd still see a doctor about it, if I were you.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

PooGeyser's picture
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Hey I have been having greenish yellow stools that are really mucousy (the consistency of phlegm) or PURE LIQUID that seemingly explodes out of my ass- sometimes these guys are bright neon green! What gives?

Also I have no appetite and yet I find myself gaining weight.
I think it might be due to my heavy drinking, but I am not sure.

Any ideas? I am 23, male and in generally otherwise good health. This has never happened before, but I was going MONTHS without a solid poop.

Zeke's picture
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I'm 38, and I've only in the last couple of years begun to have this unfortunate effect. Was it like this for others, or has it always been like this for you? I know the body gets less effective as we age, but come on!

Otter's picture
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"Diarrhea after the consumption of alcohol is not a universal side effect. Many of us who drink do not have episodes of diarrhea afterwards."
I am convinced that I am THE one who throws off the curve. Cheap beer, Beam & Coke, and "repeaters" for the whole next day. I try to eat a few pickled eggs for effect.

Laura's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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Dear poopreporter,
I cant poop if actual get something to come out of my ass it is bloody shit it burns and itches i also cant fart please write me back with something that can help thank you

c's picture
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i barely drink but the few times a year i do i get this bad diarrea do u think it may stop once my body gets more used to drinking? i hate it what can i do

DB's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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Last week I tried the new "no hangover" tablets called
RU21. I heard about them on the news around New Years.
I followed instructions to take two tablets before drinking and two after the 2nd drink. Also, one before
going to bed. They also said to take a Lot of water with them (I only had about 1 glass). I drank a lot of strong gin and mixer. The next day I had diarrhea and have had it ever since--around 4-5 days. Have never had it this long. Is it possible that this tablet is the cause of all this? I will certainly never use it again, and am afraid to drink alcohol too, so maybe it was a good experience.

some chick's picture
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This might be weird, but I drink everyday. I'm 23. I wake up drinkin. I take beer in the shower ect. Anyways, by the end of the day or really whenever I find my self shitting here and there. It's so gross. Me nd my friends thinks it's funny, but I wonder if this is serioous or what. And yes I took a weekend break under no choice (some jack ass gave me GHB) and I got sick...Anyways iI didn't shit now I'm ok N drinking again, and here's the shit's....what the hell?

freakazoid's picture
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Try not drinking, alcoholic dumbass!

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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Note to everyone out there. Do NOT drink rum and take valium!!! I don't remember quite what I did but my sister says I turned into some sort of psycho. I also almost threw up on myself. No weird poop to report. Sorry.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

d'ANGELO's picture
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thanx for such info. a couple nites ago i had some vodka and woke up with the most terrible runs i hav ever had in 13 years. i didn't know what was wrong now i do. thanx man god bless

Jared's picture
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i'm sure that while there are other sites out there that can induce a pavlovian response of some sort, i give it up to the poopreport.com for actually making me have to run off at the ass within 10 minutes of visiting. coincindence?

pooQueen's picture
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my friends and i always referred to hangover shits as "beer stinkies"...i didn't know that alcohol was that toxic to your body...THANKS DR. ADAMS!!!

lonh's picture
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I have been sitting on my toilet for 1 hour having diahrrea and not getting up . then i felt like i was gonna barf then i did . the end

mm's picture
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I went out drinking night before last, had a few sips of a very spicy bloody mary, then two amaretto sours and two apple martinis with sprite chasers, this was over a period of 5-6 hours, I try to stick to the 1 drink an hour thing but I am sure that the last couple were heavily poured. Yesterday morning I woke up with a very mild hangover, fatigue, and was laying in bed and thought I had gas, but it instead turned out to be explosive diarrhea. Neon Yellow. I ate fried food while drinking (breaded cheese curds) and now I am worried that I either was exposed to Giardiaria (I think that's how it's spelled) Or maybe just drank too much while having greasy food (I didn't eat much else yesterday evening.. just some party snacks.) Can drinking diarrhea ever be bright yellow and burn your sphincter? How long should I wait before I go to the doctor if this persists? My stool (26 hours later) has firmed a little, but all day yesterday I couldn't eat anything, and milk especially screws up my system.. I have no health insurance.. but I know if I have an infectious disease, I at least have to go to the county health department so they can try to figure out where it's coming from.. but if this is my own damned fault for drinking.. I can tough it out. HELP!

musculus sphincter ani externus's picture
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Hey Doc, the skin around our (caucasian) assholes starts out nice and white as infants, then tends to become brown with age. Is there any way to reverse this? Is it due to exposure to bile or some other substance contained in feces? Any rectum-mendations would be most appreciated.

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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Why would anyone care about the color of his/her asshole?!?

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

Nessa's picture
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Try drinking a bum jug of Carlos Rossi Red Sangria w/like 2 other friends, then eating 7-eleven nachos with onion puss packets on it. Then drinking a 40 oz. of Natural Ice and then eating some boiled beets (optional). Pretty fukkin scary! Vanessa

brittney's picture
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hey doc, ummi drank alot of dif drink like not alot but i mixed them then threw up twice in the morning then i threw up again and then it was okay but like 2 days after my poop is black n orange n like i woke up with a black tongue!! what should i do

wrecked-hole prolapse's picture
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Dr. Adams; it wouldn't be a secretory diarrhoea, then, would it? If it's just lack of water absorption from the small bowel, then it is a malabsortive, osmotic diarrhoea. Cholera, now that's a secretory diarrhoea. Better get studying for those board exams! You forgot to mention the part about the pancreatic inusfficiency, etc. that goes along with alcohol ingestion/toxicity, and its contribution to the diarrhoea that some people get. I personally have never had the runs from even heavy alcohol consumption. Straight Jack Danbiel's will dehydrate you so bad that you'll be lucky to pass a boulder the next morning. I find that a McDonald's Bacon, Egg 'n Cheese Biscuit stimulates the pancreas and other digesticles enough to push things on through.

jack's picture
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i drink daily in the evening.. pretty heavily a shot and a beer. I used to take immodium when i get a bout with the shits. but i stopped when i wound up in the hospital with pancreatitis and an ilius.. i still drink and don't take imodium anymore. no pancreatitus episodes, but diarreah is an issue. I am a responsible drinker. any help?

black russian's picture
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Beer makes me constipated. Hard liquor will sometimes give me the squirts. I had 3 jack on the rocks, 2 beers, and a black russian. Now i've got the squirts from hell. Pepto and imodium have done nothing. HELP!

Brewhaha's picture
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No matter how much I poo the next day... it'll never be enough to turn me off a drink.

Nova gasp!'s picture
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This is about the only website with documented evidence by an MD that alcohol can truly cause diarrhea! It's Christmas EVE and my boyfriend has had the damned squirts all day --- after last night, when he drank a whole large bottle of Kahlua Mudslide. Now I can't even be with him today because I have a compromised immune system for unrelated reasons. and I dunno if it's not caused from something catchy. ass. I drank some too but I realllyyy coulda kicked his ass for drinking all of it. Shithead.

mott the poople's picture
l 100+ points
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Mudslide....hmmm...
Whiskey and/or vodka never give me the shits...unless I go to Vegas and have a 24hr+ bender (and forget to eat). I hate it when that happens. Sometimes I think alcohol absorbs all the water in my poop. I have had the (rock hard)logs from hell after drinking whiskey. They could hold up a small fence.
For me, diarrhea and alcohol...rarely a connection.

Asphincter says WHAT...(!)

Asphincter says WHAT...(!)

Cracktacular's picture
l 100+ points
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Bacardi 151 does me in every time. One day I shall learn from the folly of my ways.

Crack kills

Terrrrrrible's picture
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after a three day bender I get the worst shits ever, only for a couple of days then its gone. I have no idea what thats all about.

The Dumpster's picture
i 2000+ points
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Terrrr, if you only get the squirts when you sober up, the obvious solution is to stay drunk all the time.

beershits's picture
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Strangely enough, my only problem is when I drink beer. Beer gives me the liquidy shits after having just two or three. Anything else (hard liquor, etc.) does not have the same effect. Explanation anyone?

The Dumpster's picture
i 2000+ points
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I know this has been explained somwhere before, but whatever happened to Dr. Adams? Did he and PooNurse run off together?

partypooper's picture
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no wonder i keep getting the runs, the last three times i went drinking. i thought it might have been because i ate seafood (i completely avoid certain types of seafood when i'm sober, but recently people keep getting me to eat those shellfishes after a few drinks and i'm more easily persuaded), after reading this i guess it must be the alcohol. this annoys me -- years ago the hangovers weren't as bad, and the alcohol never gave me diarrhea no matter how much i drank......

Northy's picture
l 100+ points
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My problem with beer shits is that I usually go out on the saturday and play football 'soccer to the yanks' early Sunday morning. But of course a beer shit is deadly and gives you no warning on when and where it shall stir. It tends to be when getting changed before a game so a rush to find the changing room toilets is on, and there are some nasty toilets in northern england. I once had to go to college after a night out, the beer shit sturred half way to college, the point where you are furthest from a bog. I was on the toilet for 30mins and turned up to lesson 10 mins late with a sweat on.

Hershey Man's picture
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I am 26yo and recently had a 3 day session among friends trying different vodkas, only drinking at nite. On the next day after these 3 days, I got the worst yellow watery stool of my life. Still have it. Cant sleep, hardly eat... Everything just goes though me. :(

Guess I should not drink vodka anymore. :(

captain ring sting's picture
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Last night i drank a half bottle of vodka with 3 tins of that red bull crap, I'm glad I couldn't sleep or I'm sure i would have woken up covered in slimy black bum product. Not only that but i vomited last night and this morning aswell, curse this evil russian concoction I'm stickin to good old fashioned beer in future

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points
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Don't blame the vodka. Read up about Red Bull mixed with alcohol.
Google.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Anonymous Coward's picture
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Anyone else have horrible smelling poop after drinking? I'm 30 & it just started happening in the past year or two. Seems to happen after heavy drinking, or even after just 3 drinks, no matter the type of alcohol (spirits, wine, etc)- what causes it?

GottaGoGirl's picture
i 2000+ points
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(*sing-song voice*) Ohhhhhh.....Poo...di...a...TRIiiiii...ciaaaaaan.....!

Rum does it!'s picture
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This is so weird. I started having this problem about 1 month ago. I'm 31, and I have gone out with my friends for a long time, and just now I started feeling this way. I guess I"m just too old to party like I used to. Mojitos, or anything with rum (my favorite liquor) wil make me feel this way... It sucks! I guess it is time to retire from partying...

x.london..x's picture
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haii.. im 15 and i drink like most teenagers do at thu weekend soO.. my fav drink is vodka but thu morning after i find my self having diarrhea!! i thought i just had a bug at first but then when i drank more vodka the same happend again looking from thu above im not thu only one out there huh x

AssBlaster2000's picture
PoopReport of the Year Awardj 1000+ points
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We know the parents have failed when 15 year olds are drinking vodka.

We know the school systems have failed when 15 year olds can't spell the.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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Drink more, eat less fiber, shit yourself to death.

Big Pizzle's picture
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well every time i have over like 15 beers the next day i will have the shitty squirts for exactly a 24 hour period from around the time i wake up. i just now recovered from it and at the end i shit every 20 minutes for about 4 hours i thought i was going to pass out, LMAO....ok have a nice day.

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points
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Are you going to do it again young man? Have you learned your lesson?

Sorry. I just had to ask someone the same shit my parents would have asked me.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Anonymous Coward's picture
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I'm 32, I've been drinking fairly heavily for the past 7 yrs. This shit stuff only occured in the past 3. After a binge, I shit yellowy,watery, mucus type shit. And it burns my asshole. Goes away after two days of abstaining from alcohol.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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"Drink more, eat less fiber, shit yourself to death."
lmaooo

ok, it seems like most of you have IBS, and thats not a laughing matter at all. I used to drink a lot and never had a problem. Then one fateful day I took a small dose of antibiotics and then went out and downed a few tequilas and beers. The next day I had the worst diarrea ever! 3 years later and I am still not ok.

My advice to all you boozers out there. STOP DRINKING ITS NOT WORTH IT!

and if you do. do it in moderation!

sparkles's picture
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hey, nice site doc!
every time i drink jim beam and coke i have the worst shits the next day.. even worse its black from all the coke.. its fucked cos i cant even eat.. but thanks again i understand why I shit alot after drinking!

Anonymous Shitter's picture
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I went to a place that had all the liquor you can drink for $10.00. Well after they closed I went back to my hotel and started puking my brains out which in turn led to me shitting all over the hotel room floor and my pants. Lying there in puke and shit. Was I poisoned by alcohol?

GottaGoGirl's picture
i 2000+ points
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Ya think?

JustAsking's picture
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Do any of you who get these alcohol related diarrhea, also get it with A LOT of stomach pain???

JustAnswering's picture
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JustAsking: i do. today is the worst I've experienced "alcohol shits" and all I drank was cap't and coke all night. My stomach is in knots and i'm finding myself having explosive shitting episodes.

I typically have mild shits after drinking, but looking at a previous post, i was on antibiotics recently and i'm wondering if that's causing this.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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Liquor in moderation is good for my bowels... it seems to stimulate it and everything is much fuller in the morning. An excess or light alcohol (wine,beer) is not good.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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Dear Doc,
I was just wondering if you knew what alcoholic drink has the least side affects when it come to diarrhea and vomiting?

Thanks :)

Ms. X's picture
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i drink vodka pretty regularly but i usually stick to gordon's , so like two days ago i try a shot of smirnoff and i've felt like i'm constipated but have diahrrea at the same time and it sucks balls. didn't sleep at all last night. wtf? i didn't know my body could tell the difference but apparently...

Anonymous Shitter #2's picture
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man some of these made me laugh out loud. Just recently I've been peeing out of my ass almost constantly. It stopped after a couple days once, with a little medication for diarrhea, but a little more alcohol quickly saw that my pee came out of my ass again. . not really stomach pains, but some churning in there. Dunoo if I should take it serious or not, nothing on the web seems to point to something life threatening, but still I'm wary of the ass peeing.

Dysentary's picture
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I used to drink all the time. Ever since I turned 29 I get the runny shits everytime I drink. It is so bad that I think I have to fart and I shit in my pants if I'm not carefult. anyone? Is my liver dying? HELP