Uh, until recently, I didn't know there was a difference, I believe, that as long as I can remember, they have been floaters.. Now i'm getting worried.

I never had floaters before-always sinkers, but I got really sick a few months ago-throwing up and diarhea, so bad, I was completely cleaned out. Ever since then I've had really bad gas and now every time I poop all my turds are floaters. It is so strange, but after reading this site, I'm guessing that my floaters are due to the gas, but where that is coming from-I have no idea!

My poop sinks. Every once in awhile I will get a floater.

My turds normally sink. Today however I took my morning shit at work like I always do. Pooped out a nice long firm turd that sank. A few hours later I got the urge to move my bowels again. I pooped out a nice sized turd which was a floater for some reason.

The last few days i have been having very nice movements, large and easy. One day I decided to have Shredded Wheat for breakfast, which I had not done for some time. The next morning my b.m. was very good, about a 3 on the Bristol Stool Scale, and three of the turds floated--for a minute. At home, I generally wash my hands before flushing, just to make sure I don't leave any nasty bacteria on the flush lever. By the time I'd washed, the last turd was slowly sinking to the bottom of the bowl. Aside from that, as usual, my poop sinks.

OK....I never paid attention to my stool until recently! I guess in the past I had both floaters(85%) and sinkers(maybe 15%). Yet recently my face has been breaking out for the first time in my life(20 yrs old) and my poop has been sinking to the bottom and coming out in small portions(both pebble like and long) and really doesnt have any residue on the toilet paper now(maybe a little jelly like content)! (hence before i use to have to wipe forever)
*Poonurse any ideas*

I don't know if I agree with the whole vegetarian thing. I've been vegan for 2 years, and unless I have a bad case of diarrhea, my poop always sinks.

PooNurse, I dont know what I am doing wrong, but my poo doesn't seem to sink or float, it more....swims... I don't know how to explain it but it looks as if it is treading water. When it gets bored of treading water, it does a few laps. I thought this was normal until I read everyone else's comments. What is wrong with me!!!????

Until a couple of weeks ago, my poops have almost always floated - I assumed this was normal. Then I went to Africa on holiday, and came down with a bad tummy bug. I got over this with antibiotics prescribed by a doctor on the tour, but since then all my poops have sank. Should I see my GP?

This is by far the most hilarious page EVER!! Not to mention informative hahaha i have been sitting here pissing myself laughing for a good 20 minutes!! I came to find out why poop sinks, and i definatly found my answer. Good work guys keep up the poop work haha!!! I will indeed, keep dropping the Cosbi Kids off at the pool.

My subs usually sink, but I remember having a floater or two after eating some whoppers, you know the malted milk ball candy, too funny, almost as funny as the posts on this site!

I poop at least 3-4 times a day. It has always been this way for me. My gas would gag a maggot. My poop never floats and always sinks. Is this normal?

medications can also cause floaters

i was concerned about the floating stool because my husband was told we needed to watch our daughter closely because her her stool floats and he was told it's a sign of cancer. is this something i need to worry about. it also brings on a flourescent color at times. i try to keep track of what she eats and drinks to see what may cause this (like koolaid, dies, certain vegies,etc.) nothing out of the ordinary and no change in eating habits. what do you think

The best poops in my opinion are those big round ones that go "ker-plunk" as soon as it hits the water while gently spraying your ass.

AC 12/5, floating poop likely has nothing to do with cancer, certainly not unless other signs are present. How old is your daughter? What does her doctor say? Please don't jump to the conclusion of cancer, which usually takes a long time to develop.

very interesting ! U do all realize this is a forum about SHIT? WHATZ WRONG WITH U CA-CA OBSESSED FOOLS?

i am a combo crapper, sinkers and floaters. My problem is no matter how hard or soft i still have a really hard time getting it out, even if its liquid (which it is alot, IBS). Also lots of the time its like a foam.

You think floaters are hard to flush, the foam stuff clings to the sides of the bowl and has to be scrubbed out.

AC. Have you tried angling yourself so that your shit runs down the sides of the bowl and into the water? If it works for keeping the head down when pouring a beer, why not for shit?

Logjam, What a mess you would have to clean up.
I poop straight down and hope for no residue on the bowl!

*I* would have to clean up? I'm married.

That right there, ladies and gentlemen, is a MAN.
_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Hey Bilge. Thanks again, honey, for letting me wear the pants for a week. Today, I found myself hooking my thumbs into the belt loops.

Feels good, doesn't it?
_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

You keep asking me that!!!! Yes, IT DOES, IT DOES. But please don't keep asking for reassurance. It drives us guys nuts. (Pretty good, huh?)

I KNEW you didn't like it...damn it LJ, why can't you just be honest with me???...oh, wait...sorry...I'm just being bitchy, forgive me.
_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Logjam, eyes on the tube and beer in hand, doesn't bother to look up, but mutters "Uh, huh" so as not to seem rude.

LJ...I just realized I have my mother's thighs...

Do you want them roasted or pan fried?
_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Doesn't matter, as long as I first get to roll them in a little flour and pat off the excess.

I suggest avoiding the wet spot.
_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

I suggest making a wet spot.

Flour, yeast and....uh...moisture. Home made bread. Yumm-o

RR

Yes, but be patient RR. We've got to let it rise once and punch it down.

And don't forget to jizzle some EVOO on it so it won't crack.

RR

For those of you 'worried' about floaters, and what may cause them... leave a floater in the bowl, and wait for 10 or 15 minutes (best done when you are home alone!!). Chances are the dookie will have released its' gas, and drowned.

Who's this joke coming in here and making an on topic post?

_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

To float or not to float, that is the question. The truth is, it doesn't matter. It is the best indicator of whether you are taking in too much fiber, fat, protein and processed food, but a floater doesn't necessarily indicate better health.

Float: Means more gas and/or fat than proteins and more dense "stuff". Gases are more regularly released from the body and bacteria present into the intestines with the help of fiber. Both gases and fats are less dense than water, thus a floater.

Sinker: Indicative of more dense material such as protein bi-products and used bile salts, a substance your liver releases into the small intestine to break down fats and large proteins.

I read in this post somewhere that someone has small rabbit like movements. That is not desirable. This usually indicates a lack of fiber or too much food with ingredients that are difficult to digest, if digestible at all.

Overall, what does matter is if the movement is cohesive when it comes out. If it is diarrhea like, obviously that is bad (could be sick, have a disorder or have too much fiber or fat). If it is very hard, that is also bad (not enough fiber or too much protein).

My list is not complete and if you still have questions, ask your doctor. Remember, your poop is just one way to check a small range of things that is happening in your body, not a real indicator of health.

I really dont know why i'm supprized with some of the stuff i find on the net, this is all just way too funny, poop on McDuff.....

My heap of turd is classified as Volcano heap... A mountain at the bottom of the commode ready to explode (with just one flush)

Please help me make it stop!! I've lost 100lbs over the course of 1.5 years pooping Volcano heaps!!

Sometimes the sinkers land so hard that they splash toilet water on my behind. Isn't that the worst!
I only get floaters after drinking lots of alcohol. Why is that?

So, this came up the other day in our daily talk. I came up with a theory...that when we need to fart, but keep it inside instead, the gas has no where to go but into our poop. Thus a floater is created! So to prevent future floaters, keep farting! Don't hold back.

I eat all kinds of shit, and my poo always ends up at the bottom, no exception. With big loud plops too :p
poopy girl :X

Mod note: I am going to assume the "eating all kinds of shit" part can be interpreted as "all kinds of stuff" and not real shit.

I don't care if it floats, sinks, flies, walks, or crawls, as long as it comes out with no problem.

If it is a sinker, it is a Das Poop.

All my poop does is float. I have terrible digestion problems- it can take me over 12 hours to digest a meal. I also burp for about 4 hours after I eat. I know this all has to tie in somehow. While I recently became a vegetarian, I have been having these issues for many years now. This condition stinks. Literally.

I have sinkers! I'm not sure if I have ever had a floater, at least not in the last 10 years. I always thought of it as being fiber that makes your poop sink or float. But I also have Ulcerative Colitis which is a disease in the colon, so maybe my sinkers have to do with that!

Most people with excessive burping and bloating are air swallowers. Air enters the gastrointestinal tract when mouth breathing or talking/drinking while eating. A second frequent cause of gas is a change indiet such that gas forming foods are now eaten in greater amounts e.g. cabbage, beans, milk for many people. A third explanation (and one that is unusual in those with an intact GI tract) is malabsorption.

-Medhelp.org

My poop always sinks. Very seldom, and I mean very seldom do I get a floater. They are very rare.

Last summer I had a lot of floaters. Too much beers and greasy foods, I also started a new medication.
_______
Oh not, not the beer shits again!

I take vitamins and whole food supplements almost every day...usually producing floaters...no matter what I eat. If I forget to take them for a few days I get sinkers. It's a little reminder to take my vitamins :)

The other day my ass cheeks wrapped around the tiolet bowl like some possessed demon spraying shit everywhere! I mean, picture a pressure washer coating the inside of your house with shit and corn! When your shit has this affect... nothing sinks. It's something you would see on movies or joke about, but beleive this shit is real. Afterwards my ass was on fire so bad I had to dip my rear end in my dogs water bowl to get some immediate relief. I will never have chipoltle, taco bell, and anal sex with my boyfriend all in the same day. Hmmm? I was wondering why some of the spray had sour cream in it....I didn't have sour cream on my tacos.

I was sadly ill informed. I thought I was unhealthy to have floaters...what was I reading? I consistently have floaters. I have really loud intestinal movement (when the poo is on the move) and a lot of gas...(TMI??? I don't burp...ever). Sign me up for Team Floaters! (How do we make a gassy mascot)?

I just wanted to know if I was healthy withit floating or not. There are times when I never even see my poop: the Ghost. Those are one of my favorites. Tonight came a smaller turd that was floaty mcfloatson. For the effort to pass, I was disappointed at the size. My other favorite is "the clean wipe" you crap you wipe and the paper is clean! That is the ultimate sign of good health. I long for those, but the gas is always a good sign of how you might wipe. I stay away from too many breads like in Chinese Pork Buns cause I am prone to blockage/constipation if otherwise. Luckily for me I am gay, and certain boy meets boy activities help in the unlikely occurance of being stopped. Mostly I AM GASSY from the Dairy and the parties. I can't help but give in to the things I love. But I hate Gas and I never really liked to poop. I just wish my body was more efficient and found a way to use everything I consume. Some day...one day. Then I would be totally proud and 100% confident to use the title I have been give: Cleanest Ass in San Francisco. Until then I feel concerned that this evening I wiped after a floater, and have smelly farts. But tonight I am on antibiotics for a skin/acne breakout and It can't be helped.

I had Raisin Bran for breakfast earlier this week and produced soft powdery floaters two days in a row. As usual, everything sank before I flushed it; I'm waiting to see if today's poop will sink, showing that the extra bran has finally left me. Normally my poop sinks.

My logs torpedo my loafs and they both sink. I hate it when that happens.

Oh, wait... is it loafs or loaves when referring to shit? Scummy you speak the King's English, which ought it to be?

We don't currently have a King, so please note that it is the QUEEN's English.

But as you ask, it is "loaves", if you are referring to the plural of "loaf" as in "loaf of bread" or "pinch a loaf". "Loafs" is an intrinsic verb to mean "relaxes" as in "he loafs in bed all day". So referring to shit would be "loaves". Hope that helps, AC.

However, I would suggest that if your faeces does not float, in order to get a good look at it, put a wad of TP in the bowl first and then excrete on top of it. It should keep your stool closer to the surface of the water and enable you to view it in detail.

My poop doesn't float so much as it walks on water.
_______
Yo quiero Taco Bell.

You can thank one of the Bernoullis for this one. Your poop floats because the overall density of your turd is less than the density of the water in your toilet. That's basic physics.

The corollary to this, though, is that if you want to know how much your floater weighs, you only need to find out the amount of the water displaced by your turd. How, pray tell, do you do that? By marking the waterline in the bowl, pre- and post-crap. After the bowl refills itself to the pre-crap line, you can pour in measured amounts of water to raise the water level in the bowl to the post-crap line. Et Voila, you have your turd's volume. BTW, don't forget to allow for the arc of minicus.

Note that this process doesn't work for sinkers since the density on those puppies will be greater than the density of water. Accordingly, the weight of the displaced water will less than the actual weight of the turd.

And if that seems like too much of a hassle to do all of this just to find out how much your ass production weighs, you could just shit on your kitchen scale.
_______
Yo quiero Taco Bell.

If you are determined to have "floating poop" you could always furnish your toilet tank with seawater(brine) which is denser and more buoyant thereby increasing the odds- conversely,one could use distilled water to obtain sinkers. I suspect most of us fall somewhere in between to varying degree's.

ate TOFU today, had a floater

As sinkers are under water they are not stinkers. I say, underwater is the best !

I am very gassy, I am the best farter in my house. I am famous for that at home with 4 sons. My poop always sinks. Is it because I am getting the gas out? I knew it was a good thing.

I had a colleague who worked at the same law firm, SM. Stuart's well-known droppings were rarely even half-submerged. He couldn't "make" an honest-day's dropping to save his life. Flush it again and again, it's back up to say hello again. He and we nicknamed him The Unsinkable Molly Brown. Stu, even the Phillipinos at work called you "Lutang" for "float," and a partner, CB, thought "Lutang" was more interesting than the day's work.

Fat floats, so I would assume that a turd that floats is full of fat, right? A nice solid turd indicates that all the junky 'crap' that has built up inside of you has finally plopped out. Sometimes these turds are close to a foot long!

Hey there, my name is Sophia and I DO have Celiac disease & also PCOS not to mention my gallbladder has been removed so all this equals lots of poo! I recently started taking this supplement system that has a lot of fiber in it for my PCOS which mostly is controlling my blood sugar. anyhow, i notice that i have been having a lot of solid floaters and also multy colored poo. like the outside is dark green while the inside kinda looks like a power bar..haha you know like that yellowish light brown color..umm like a multy vitimine. so what does that all mean? is it good? is my colon being cleaned?

a butter finger...
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

My excrement doesn't float so that means it is not high in fat.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

It's all a function of how much water you intake. Those that do not intake enough fluids/liquids will produce sinkers. If you are getting enough, you will produce floaters. Its that simple. Drink at least 8 cups of water a day (more if you exercise)and I gurantee that you will start floating within a week.

uh....does water float? Just curious.
_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

oil or fat floats on top of water, bilgepump.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Of that, I am quite aware, SP...my query was for "Bombs away", who insists that more water in your diet will create floaters.

_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

oh yeah, him. He doesn't know what he is talking about. Hahahaha ha.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

I had to go on a high-water diet a few years ago, and ever since then, my poops have been softer than before. They still sink, though.

hey...my poops are awesome and even had 1 sucker bounce out the toilet and wriggle around on the floor,i recently blocked my toilet (8th time this year) due to heavy intake of chicken nuggets and broccoli cakes, yum yum

Sarah, I suspect the one that bounced and wriggled wasn't a turd, but a large mouth bass. Be sure your sushi is properly prepared, next time.

_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Can half a turd float and the other half sink?

turd a: Yes, one end of it can be full of gas, and thus want to float, while the other is more solid and wants to sink. The balance must be almost perfect for the effect to be visible, though.

Yesterday my second poop was very soft and mostly floated; too much green salad, together with other fiber, I think. I await this morning's poop, which I expect to sink.

Turda ronic, the kind of turd you are describing is called the T-I-T-A-N-I-C.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

hey, that was informative thank you, I was actually curious because I'm actually on the toilet right now with my iPhone and I looked down to check on things and there was one that was just floating while the others were just sitting at the bottom. so thank you :P

_______
I am so RELIEVED to discover this site!
POO-nurse or anyone stuck in the same shit I am...
My poo floats and sinks at the same time!
Can you help explain!

_______
I am so RELIEVED to discover this site!
And does it sink or float with orange oil?

the other day i gave up smoking. ever since then i have noticed that all my shits seem to come out nicely, perfectly formed round-ended cylinders. i can't tell whether they float or sink, as they are so good and firm and long they tend to stick in the u-bend of the bog like a beached dolphin.

they're great!!

no, orange oil just makes it fall out of your ass easier.

I don't really care about weather poop floats or not for my health but for my nostrils! Yesterday one of my flatmates did this big massive one and it floats! ... and how do I know this.. because it was still there when I went for number ones... and the time after... and the time after!! Ahhh, its been floating on the surface for nearly 24 hours with multiple flushes, I have to hold my breath every time I go in. I'm not going to like it when I have to go for a poop myself! After a while in there it discolours the water and you have to flush it again but it still pops back up again :(

HELP!!!! HOW DO YOU SINK A FLOATER!!!!!???????

Hayden.....I have never tried this but I imagine if you get one of those big immersion blenders you could blend the floater into a frothy stew that would flush quite easily. Your bisques might take on an odd flavor and your gazpacho might not elicit the praise it formally did but nothing in life is free.

_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Hayden! That is hilarious. Lol. He is worthy to be named...and dressed each day. Chief knows. He had one named Bob when he was a kid. It lived for a week. I think Prairie Dog even dressed Bob in a too too. Tell him the story about Bob again Chief! Will ya, huh, huh? I'm bored!
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Yes Hayden....Bob lived in my commode for weeks one bitter winter because the field drain for my septic tank needed to be redone and back pressure made it impossible to flush floaters.
Bob was about the size of a ping-pong ball and floated merrily for weeks. Luckily he was just a floater and not a stinker.

_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Hayden--try covering the floater with toilet paper, enough to drag it down when you flush, but not enough to clog the toilet. The paper should sort of wrap the turd, which will then get swept down with the flush.

OK... true testimony that what you've said about floating poop is truth --

I've had SEVERE gas all morning and just now {finally} went poop and it floated! Of course my poop rarely floats, so I said "I'm gonna google that!" and found your site - I LOL when I read that it's because of gas!!!

So...wait. MSG is trying to smother the life out of the unnamed floater. Why couldn't you dress it, MSG!
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

i have to say, when you poop a floater in a public place, its not right to flush it down..i have seen so many anonomous poops in my life that i am on a rampage to leave as many public poops as i can floating around so maybe someone who's poop i saw, will see mine...

leavespoopbehind......I hope you are very young because the lack of capitalization in you writing indicates that. Perhaps as you mature and learn basic writing skills you will realize how childish revenge, as you see it now, can be.

_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Whats with all this poop?

-Scott Funk sends his warnings...

funniest shit ive ever read in all my life!

i actually wanted to know why my 3 yr olds poop floated out of nowhere today...ive been fighting with it to flush all day....i fear im fighting a losing batttle

but hey...shit happens:P

although im happy to know its nothing to worry about

As a scientist I have always measured bouyancy with the Mass of the object by the volume of water displaced. If more water is displaced than the weight of the object, then it will float. This is how 50,000 ton ships stay affloat. Therefore I would assume that the floating pooh would have to maintain its form whilst in the water, and displaces more water than it weighs.

Dear Nerdy Dude.....I am amused by the fact that as a scientist you do not know the correct spelling of buoyancy and afloat...oh well I guess you can be a scientist without being a grammarian.

_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Hey Chiefthunderbutt, you must have a pretty small personality to worry so much about someones spelling. Typos happen, get over it! You need a life.

Dear Nerdy dude.....My life is so restricted by my small personality that it made me notice that you just used the word "someones" when you should have shown possession by using the word "someone's". I am afraid I will never get over this and will wonder for years if the institution of higher learning in which you obtained your scientific knowledge had an English department. Check a dictionary, there is no such word as "someones" in our language.

_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Get off the chief as he has the biggest personality around! I get aggravated by poor grammar, as well. I know the chief is going to to get you, so I don't bother most of the time.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Thank you sittingpretty for your support. I mean to hurt no one's feelings but I am totally appalled by the lack of care in language usage demonstrated by even supposedly educated people in these modern times. I live a short distance from the stone home Cragfont which was constructed by General James Winchester in 1802.
A copy of a letter that was written by one of the General's sons when he was sixteen is framed and hanging on the wall, the usage of the English language is extraordinary although some spellings from that period were different.

Lack of communication causes many of the problems we experience in the world today. If you print something for the world to read have the decency to proof read it before you have it published. Sure.....some typos will slide through but they will be greatly diminished.

Another pet peeve....Text messaging abbreviations should be used nowhere but in text messaging.

_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

I just wish, and pray, that hillbillies, and other folks, would learn to differentiate between "to", "too", and "two".

I come down with the vapors something terrible when the misuse of these words happens, I go into a veritable swoon.

_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

This is a shitty site.

That really grates with me as well, Bilge.

Correct me if I`m wrong, but doesn`t the noun "hillbilly" have a double "l" in it more than once?

Wy yes, T-box, it does, what's your point?
_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"Wy" indeed? - we could be here all day editing your posts, Bilge!

LOL....fuck. Hey, I got that right anyway.

_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Interesting... I'm on the can right now, so googled "floaters" because I just gave birth to a few. When I read that it is produced by more gas within the poop, I thought "that means they should gradually lose gas and sink, right?" So I took a second look, and there they were, resting on the sea floor.

The noun Hillbilly should be capitalized to indicate our importance in the food chain..if it were not for us the world would soon be overrun by possums!

_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

hmm... strange. I don't know if I agree.

I had my first floater today for the first time in a long time (1yr+ in fact, you'll see a floater as a bfd if you haven't had one in that long too!!!), but I have gas all the time, EVERYDAY and yet still no floaters till today.

...wtf?

Yesterday morning I had two b.m.'s, one at home before breakfast and the second soon after I arrived at work. Both were large and normal, and both sank. Somewhat to my surprise, in the late afternoon I had a third movement, very soft and gassy--and it floated, several slushy pieces. As usual, I washed hands before flushing, and as I reached to flush, I saw the last piece slowly sinking to the bottom of the bowl. Obviously the excess gas had finally been displaced by water.

MSG, how can you talk about poop when our great nation is being over run by bad grammar and text speak? We are under attack right now by cyber nerds. Poor Bilgepump has been wounded and is making grammar errors by the bushel full. T'box and Sittingpretty may be the next casualties unless we come together behind our Chief and fight back.
Chief, lead us into battle!!
We're all all behind you.
Well except for me, I've got a bone in my knee.
I'll be your battle planner.

PD.....I believe we should elect MSG as our leader in the grammar war since I believe he is an English teacher. We can rally behind him as soon as he finishes taking a shit.

_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Gosh, guys, thanks! What a testimonial! When I have more time, I'll write a poem in honor of this honor; I shall try to compose it while seated on the hole-y throne.

I'm right behind you...oops! I better step to the side just a little. Being behind, is not the best place to be.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

"Inquiring mind", about the lovelys that exit our fabulous human forms.
eek!

I would like to thank everyone for the wonderful lesson in poopology.
I feel assured that my sinkers are created by my amazing ability to fart. In fact, I just ripped off a clapper that vibrated the windows. It clapped so loud that the clapper on my lamp just caused the light to flash on and off 8 times.
So with gas like that, there can't be any air left in my turds to cause them to float:-)

This is just too funny along with some very insightful informations. Good stuff.