agraphobia? or some poop/psych disease?

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Mike asks:

Well i have been diagnosed with agoraphobia.. but am not sure on that..

The deal is that i always gota poop when i have to go out.. and if i do go out i have the worst stomachaches ever(that makes me want to go poop), sweating...usually i dont end up pooping ..but its kind of embarssing.. i'am currently in homeschool cause of it.. it sucks becase i'am 16.

i was thinking maybe when am going to go out, my brain might send out more chemicals to my stomach making me poop?( i never pooped myself).. or from a bad experiance from 9th grade where i had the worst stomach ache ever.. which are the same sypmtoms i have now....

help me?





Dear Mike,

Thanks for the question!

I am sorry about the agoraphobia. Agoraphobia is the fear of going outside the house to public places.

Now, as I am a poonurse, I know nothing about agoraphobia. But, the word itself sort of sounds like corprophagia, which I DO know something about!

Corprophagia means literally "to eat feces". My dogs do this all the time. Drives me out of my mind. I mean, EATING YOUR OWN SHIT? For GODS SAKE! I literally RETCH every time I see them doing this. Consequently, I let them out less frequently, which has been causing them to shit downstairs in the family room when I am not looking. For some odd reason, they are quite content to leave the family-room shit alone. They wouldn't touch it if I poured GRAVY on it, I'm sure!

Go figure....

So, Mike, I trust I have been helpful. Thanks for asking Poonurse!

Please be advised that I am only a Poonurse. I am NOT a medical doctor. Any advice I give should be taken moderate skepticism. Please consult a REAL medical doctor if you feel you have a serious medical condition.

-- Poonurse

Poonurse is an RN with 25 years experience in labor and delivery. Her qualifications include seeing a lot of poop, and owning a computer. Also, she works in Michigan, which she calls the asshole of the universe, so that's another bit of credibility.

Got a question for her?












151 Comments on "agraphobia? or some poop/psych disease?"

Poopshipdestroyer's picture
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Mike,

Sounds to me like the agoraphobia is secondary - a habituated response to a traumatic episode. Because something bad happened one time to you in public, your mind associates going out with that thing, and eventually you're scared to go out because you worry the same thing might happen again. As for the physical symptoms, you're probably right that your brain/mind is producing them--which ends up justifying your fear of going out.

Seriously, dude, I'd advise seeing a therapist. It might help just to talk to someone about it.

doniker's picture
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when I was about 20 I thought I had agoraphobia.

I went out but never more than a mile or two from home.

this plagued me for many years and I missed out on a hell of alot including a college education.

looking back now I was such an asshole.

years of childhood abuse, being told I was worthless by my father and self doubt made me this way.

one day I realized I had to get out and live or die.

Now I can travel anywhere and love being away from home more than anything.

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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I feel for you, Mike. I have social anxiety disorder. That means I don't have any trouble leaving the house (in fact, if i don't I climb the walls) but I do have a problem being around other people. Answering the telephone gives me the shakes.

When my anxiety gets really bad I get dizzy, breathless, and sick to my stomach. Never had the poop symptoms but that's just me. I'm sure your stomach problems are related.

See a therapist. It does a world of good and they can help you see things that you might not be able to see alone. If you know about the problems you can fix them.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

Slim Jim Junkie's picture
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I do remember seeing therapists, and it seemed that there were 5 people that sucked for every good one.

Now I don't even like the current doc because he doesn't listen to the side effects I get from his perscriptions, but finding others is damn near impossible.

Sometimes I wonder if I should have just kept my old problem (Being pissed off at others with the fury of 1000 suns) rather than get new problems from BS therapy.

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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Yeah, it took me a while to find a good one. Out of the five I've had four have sucked the big green one. Of course I can't see the good one anymore because my insurance ran out. Go figure!

Oh, well. I'll have to keep being really pissed off, too. And anxious. And obcessive-compulsive. And an insomniac... Okay, so I'm fucked up. I admit it.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

keith's picture
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Mike your letter sounds like I could have written it. I had it since I was 8 or 9 and searched for an answer for years. When I was 21 a doctor prescribed Imipramine. It's a tricyclic antidepressent not in common use anymore since the intro of the SSRIs such as Prozac, Paxil...
Find a doctor that will let you try it, it's fairly harmless. My family doctor gives it to me. It takes a few weeks to start working though, you gotta stick with it.
The improvement was 99%! (An occasional bad day but NOTHING like it was) I know it sounds too good to be true but it worked! I could go to the movies, parks, go out with friends and even start college.

I hope it works for you. Good luck.

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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Do you mean climipramine? I take that stuff for my sleeping problems. It does nothing!

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

Darren's picture
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Damn Mike...thought I was the only one going out of my freakin head with this damn OUTDOOR GUT-ROT. I will be fine until Im asked to go out, then the flip-flops start, bloating, and major gas. (feel like youre gonna explode on the spot. Dont even ask me to drive someone anywhere, holy crap, sweats, dizzy and total gut rumbles.
I have been dealing with this for approx. 11 years. I have had every probe, known to man, shoved were ya dont want them, enough xrays to make me glow, talked to the shrinks and finally got put on ZOLOFT (which personally hasnt done anything) The shrink figures that I have a General Anxiety disorder, which doest tell me anything.
I feel for you man, it is absolutely horrible and humiliating. I am now 37 and my wife just had our first baby girl. I am now having nightmares for when she asks me to attend her first school play or to drive her to her first ballet practic.
Good luck

anti-socialpooper's picture
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I have been dealing with this since the first day that I started high school 10 years ago and there is never any way for me to know when this poop-anxiety-issue is going to show up so I avoid any possibilities and miss out on EVERYTHING! I dropped out of school in the 10th grade, I can't work for too long and I slowly lost most of my friends. I am ALWAYS prefering to be home, home all the time. I am now finally looking into this and was completely amazed to find others. My biggest problem is that it isn't ALL the time this anxiety hits me, it's only in certain uncomfortable situations for me when I feel kind of "trapped?". So I'll finally have plans with my friends ( the 2 that I have left! ) But will have to leave the situation immediately if it's not comfortable for me or else I will shit my pants with anxiety! It never actually happened because as soon as I remove myself from the situation I start to feel better. But I am convinced by the way that my anxiety effects my stomach (it is SO extreme!) that if I stay it would!!! I am so sick of living like this and I feel sorry for the people in my life who have to deal but I REALLY don't want to take a pill and I am hoping that I can "fix" myself. The things that make me feel more comfortable when I am out is knowing there will be: 1.) backround noise so I don't worry about farting and someone hearing (hehe I'm crazy, I know!), 2.) a bathroom that isn't near where my group is so nobody would know if I had to use it and 3.) just knowing that I can get up and remove myself from the situation without looking like a freak or being noticed by everyone. So, Having those outlets can calm me. I'm sure this might sound insane to even some of you but this is how I live. If anyone knows of ANYTHING else please help!!! This truly Sucks.

Anonymous kids are cool's picture
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Yeah so I randomly googled "Agoraphobia sucks" and it led me here.. to this lovely page...
Mike, what you wrote is exactly what I'm going through. The only things different are that I'm 15 and my stomache ache experiance was a few months ago. Other than that you are the only person I know of who has the same exact problem as me. I just thought I'd share that.

dont have time to register's picture
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I have a friend who deals with this same issue. I also have been suffering from agoraphobia for many years. my anxiety effects my stomach but i never get the poop feeling...i usually get the "i'm going to vomit" feeling...which could be just as humiliating...if it actually happened in front of people. I am anti meds after trying a few that just left me feeling like a zombie. the only med that i have agreed to take is called ativan and it makes a huge difference, its not habit forming so you can take it only when you think you will need it. i noticed a complete turn around in my anxiety, and my anxiety was so bad i couldnt do anything...i dropped out of college because of it. standing in lines at the bank or gas station was out of the question. the thing that causes anxiety is different for everyone but there is one common factor IT'S ALL IN YOUR HEAD. you actually cause yourself to have panic attacks because the moment you feel that you are going to be in an uncomfortable situation you begin to worry...which triggers all the symptoms...which gives you good reason to keep worring...its a terrible cycle but there is hope. there are tons of websites for anxiety help that have nothing to do with medications. its more about training your mind to block the triggers...it takes time but relief is out there. i know how it is...to live locked up inside a house because im too scared to go anywhere but i also know how it feels to finally say "you know what i dont give a shit i'm taking my life back." its when you make that decision to not care anymore and not worry that you start to beat the anxiety...after all it thrives on your fear. it starts with baby steps...go out somewhere that you can mostly tolerate and just stick it out and see what happens...maybe some depends underwear might be helpful just in case ;) seriously though...i think you might be surprised when you get out there and find out that you are ok, and nothing happens...but you have to face it otherwise you will be controlled by it forever. instead of triggering it by thinking of all the times it has happened try thinking off all the times it didnt happen and make anti triggers =) also i found it to be helpful to confide in a friend who could go out with me and help me overcome it...someone who is sort of a safety net...who understands the situation and can bail you out if it gets bad. my mom was my safety net and if she saw me starting to get the sweats and jitters or shakes she would actually do something to take attension off me (eventhough the feeling of everyone looking at me was all in my head)...she would divert peoples attension or talk loudly on her cell phone so that she became a center of focus and i could make an escape. but we made it a routine to go out and face my fears and eventually i realized how stupid i was being and that nothing bad was going to happen...and even if it did...even if i went crazy and started puking all over the place...who cares...i realized that i need to quit being afraid of other people and their thoughts or reactions...because in all honesty i hate people and i shouldnt give a shit about what they are thinking. hope you find a way to make it through this. trust me though it can be done...just stick with it.

You's A Scarrrry Duuude's picture
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Wow, I thought I was the only one in the world suffering from this kind of anxiety. It sucks.

I don't really have a Problem going to a lot of place, places I want to, like Football Games, playing sports, etc. etc. As soon as I have to do something, No matter what I eat comes out in a horrible fashion. It's got to the point that I won't even eat much solid food the night before I travel. A pop tart, some crackers etc. Doesn't really matter though, I still end up going to the bathroom a few times before I travel. My girlfriend insist that it is all in my head, which in fact, it is. 99.9% of the time, I don't end up going to the bathroom while I Am out. Just the cramps and gassy feeling suck. I feel for you people because I know the feeling of being "dead-weight" at times to friends or family. Thinking about seeing a Therapist asap. I want this little phobia gone!!!

kemper

Anonymous Coward's picture
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I've had the same problem for forever. Tried anti-depressants, hated them. Tried a few different therapist with just a little success.
Finally found what works for me. You can order it online. It's like a therapist in your home. And alot cheaper than going to a therapist. www.stresscenter.com
I couldn't drive at all. Full blown panic attacks. Being in public made me very uncomfortable. Used to prefer staying home.
Depressed, sad, miserable. But this program really really works. Because it really is all in our heads and we just need to learn to change our thinking.

pooranoid guy's picture
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Oh wow. Like many others here, I didn't think other people had the same thing I did. The closest to my issue is anti-socialpooper's description. Adding to all of that, I always try to think of or find toilet possibilities/opportunities on routes that I go. Also, going to rock shows is challenging sometimes too depending on the venue because I've been to ones where there were no stall doors or toilet paper or even seats! And they terrified me so immensely. I stopped using the subways a lot because I fear the train stopping between stations and waiting there for many minutes. I usually like going to places on my bike because I feel like i have more control that way in term sof what I want to do and where I go and which way. I used to take cabs a lot before that and spent/wasted sooo much money on it. In theatres I insist on being in the aisle seat and feel trapped if I was in the middle because I'd be thinking about like "okay, if i have to go, i'd have to step in front of these four or five people I don't know. Dating is kind of hard too because often there are dinner dates and I try to stay away from them because that would be like adding more fuel to the fire and more digestive sensations to obsess over.

agorapooper's picture
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OMG. i had no idea so many people had the same problem i did. it's really hard for me to go out without figuring out if there will be bathrooms on the way. now, i can't go any further than a couple of blocks away from my house because i'm afraid i might get the urge to poop. just a though, maybe we should try on an adult diaper and see how we react to it in a public setting. that's what i'm going to try. also, it's very hard for me to get in cars and i just can't get on buses anymore.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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My problem is that I can't be with a guy without havig this gut wrenching gassy anxiety freak out attack stomach ache shit feeling. If I even think about having an intimate relationship with someone I have diarhea. I am going to make a doctors appointment tomorrow about getting some drugs. Something for anxiety, depression, I don't know. Also therapy. I'm really agoraphobic & 10th grade was my last highschool year too. Life fucking sucks and I just want to have sex. So, my solution is to starve myself. If I don't eat then I don't shit. But I still manage to have the feeling like I have to. Hopefully after talking to my Dr. I can actually fucking eat something because I'm getting too thin. I love the internet because there is always someone like you, no matter how embaressing and weird your problem is. Some other person knows just how you feel lol :)

MeToo's picture
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I've recently developed a similar problem. Just the thought of having to use the bathroom for #2 while away from home fills me with anxiety. I think it started when my husband dropped me off at a bridal shower and left with the car. During the party, my stomach acted up, and I felt trapped there. I made several trips back and forth to the restroom, each time praying I wouldn't run into anyone I knew in there. Each trip back made me more anxious and at one point I even felt trembly. I made it through, but since then I think I've developed a phobia about it. It's ridiculous and I'm so pissed off at myself for being such an idiot about a normal bodily function that EVERYBODY does.

I have a history of anxiety and social phobia, but I overcame that years ago and have been doing 100% fine (and all without medication). Now this stupidity suddenly starts and I'm beyond frustrated with it. I know the way back out of it is the same as with other anxiety---exposure, facing the fear, and getting de-sensitized to it. I'm working on it. Tomorrow night my husband and I are going to a dinner/dance. It's close to home, so I figure if I feel like I'm going to have a diarrhea attack, I can just drive home and do it privately. Even so, imagining myself there fills me with anxiety. I'm not afraid of anything else. I can travel anywhere, speak in public, you name it. I'm just paralyzed by anxiety at the thought of pooping away from home--which is starting to make me choose to stay home more and more frequently.

feeling your pain's picture
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Wow
I too suffer from panic disorder and slight agoraphobia. My symptoms are poop related as well. I got my first attack june 2003. My boyfriends family and I had just finished eating breakfast at Dennys. We decided to follow his parents back to their home (which was 5 mins away) when I suddenly needed to use the bathroom badly and I couldn't wait! I asked my boyfriend to pull over at BK but he refused and I think it triggered a feeling of being out of control b/c I flipped out and have not been able to drive with anyone since. I have problems being in places without restrooms, malls, standing in lines, walking a few blocks from home, flying (since their are a limited # of bathrooms), etc. I pretty much have an awful life, I don't work and I can't travel like I use to. It effects friends and family and I find myself avoiding all contact for fear of people finding out my secret! I went to a really good therapist last year and I did get better with bi-weekly sessions and Lexapro but had to quit since I had no money and no insurance. I suggest you talk to your parents about this and see what they can do. I usually tell myself that it wouldn't be a big deal if I did go on myself, but that only works sometimes.

Not alone...'s picture
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Hi all! I am so surprised that other people have this same anxiety...wow, what a relief! For me, it started during my freshman year of college..I was a passenger in my friends car during the 6 hour drive back to school and got a horrible stomach-ache. I had diarrhea, and was gassy, etc. And I was trapped in this car with 2 friends, uhg!! There were NO bathrooms, so I had to hold it for sooo long, and it just made me so nervous. Ever since then-- I've developed more anxieties, and have been diagnosed with agoraphobia and claustraphobia. I'm afraid of being in a situation where I can control it, or easily leave..Like others, I have to plan 'bathroom-routes' while driving or out somewhere..which makes daily life so much more difficult. Normally my stomach acts up and I have to use the bathroom multiple times before a big event, such as a one hour drive or trip downtown...So-- anyways, I've been in therapy for the past few years..and never once told my therapist about my poop-anxiety! This is SO embarrasing.. I don't even want to mention it to her. :X P.S. I hate going home or to a friends house, since their bathrooms are small and everyone can hear you, while you're in there! gaaah

Ryu's picture
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Hi, I think I'm suffering from agoraphobia too. Ok it sucks totally but I guess I need to go see a doctor about it soon. I'm scared of going for camps, I'm scared of going overseas and now I'm scared of going to the mall, even. I once had a bad stomachache and nearly fainted at the subway station. Luckily the staff that helped me. Ever since that, I've been kinda crazy. And I'm only in grade 11.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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A lot of times when I get nervous I have to poop so maybe you are getting nervous and having to poop.

SirPooalot's picture
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Hey everyone... Its nice to feel like I am not alone. I have general anxiety disorder too. This feeling like I have to poo problem has plagued me on and off since I was 8 and I am now 19. I am so fed up with all the insecurities it places on my shoulders. I feel trapped and stuck in my life. However I am going to take the plunge say fuck it! take a week off from work and drive. I will go to remote places with gross bathrooms that I wont want to use and I will force myself to use them. This might be one of the worst weeks of my life. However, if this odyssey cures me of these insecurity then fine, can't hurt to try RIGHT :) I'll also bring my absolutely funny as hell friends with me that ALL can use public washrooms with me to show me how shitting is done... they also seem to make something funny out of any situation. I hope all of you will read this and go on your own adventure, because were all strong, able, and sure as hell able to fight against this evil poo feeling. If you know you can use any toilet and laugh about the next person using it is most likley going to gag. Then this whole feeling like having to drop a wet load or just a big daddy two flush will just go away!

Anonymous Coward's picture
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I have these same feelings and I hate it. It's hard on yourself and on evryone around you. Some people you don't feel close enough to tell, so they don't understand. It's embarrassing. It literally feels like I am going to die or pass out, the pain is so bad. When I leave an anxious situation it stops. I live in California and there is alot of commute traffic. When I get stuckin traffic, even if I'm not driving I freak out. I get poop pains and light headed. I don't know wether I'm going to pass out or crap myself!! Embarrassing I know. I hate it and I would give anything to be normal. At least I know I'm not crazy now!!

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points
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AC, you could possibly be suffering from analarachnophobia, the fear of spiders crawling up your asshole. I understand a lot of people in California are plagued by it.

anxiety=poopie=anxiety and so on's picture
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hey mike. i am 20 and am EXACTLY like you. on my first day of hs, the bus approached my stop..and all of a sudden, well you know. i ran inside and was late to school and everyone knew why. since then, i am also agoraphobic but getting better. i suggest getting a good book/workbook. this is partial social anxiety and im assuming panic attaks like me. i get nervous and i feel like im going to die thinking it might hapen again, then that nervousness gives me the feeling of that awful monday morning back when i was 15. i see a therapist, which i do recommend....and my doctor switched me OFF of a med called zoloft, as one of the side effects was intestinal randomness, which is not the kind of drug we need lol.

Also, tell your parents or brother or best friend. have them sit outside your bathroom until youre done, then have them applaud you as u come out. laugh about it. and bring them to the outside world. they will be your comfort buddy and help you readapt to pooping in the outside world. GOOD LUCK! ill be on the journey with you!

baron von crapalot's picture
k 500+ points
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This has to be on obvious case of chronic IBS, linked to the fears of open spaces (not crowded, persay)

_______
like a constipated accountant- I worked it out with a pencil.

I hope to god I've just sat in a Shepard's pie.

crazyy's picture
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OMG
and i was thinking that Im the only one with the crazy feeling!

2 weeks ago I was with my husband and I REALLY had to go so I went inside one of the resturnats on the road it was sooo Emabarrasing for me and since I dont usually use public toilets that much...

ever since I have to o several time to the bathroom before we go out somewhere speavilly if i know its a long ride:( I know its all in my head bt it really sucks:(

Alert Angela's picture
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I don't know what is is but I just get a odd feeling about closing a stall door and peeing or crapping in a public bathroom. I remember some of the conflict that happened between my mom and me when I was 7 or 8 and I would become hysterical if she would not remain outside the door and talk to me when I was on the stool. As I got older, this lack of independence upset her even more. Probably because she needed to get into a stall and onto a stool and my "needs" were holding her up. Well, me and my friend were out driving around a couple of years ago and I had to crap like real bad. We stopped at this bowling center and she waited in the car while I went in. Since it was late in the afternoon, I don't think there were 5 customers in the whole place and I selected the first stall, pulled down my jeans and panties, sat down and started to push. I had been constipated so I spread my legs and gave an extra push and probably spent 5 minutes getting it ready to come out when I noticed that I had not closed the stall door. And I was extremely comfortable as the bowl began to fill. When I heard the entry door open and a lady came in to wash her hands, I immediately closed the stall door, but as I heard her leave, I opened it again. Whether peeing or crapping, I've been doing this with lots of success since then. I do, however, have to avoid the really busy bathrooms and lines. I told my best friend about this once and she said I was "strange" but it works for me. I just have to remain alert as I sit, but I haven't found that to be a problem.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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It is nice to know that other people have the same problem, but does anyone have any solution? I currently see a therapist, but im too embarassed to tell him about it. I also take lexapro for anxiety. IF ANYONE KNOWS A SOLUTION PLEASE TELL ME!!!!!!

Squat-n-leaveit's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points
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When sailing offshore, out of "sight of land" some people will have serious bouts of agoraphobia. What incredible suffering. Some will be constantly on deck scanning the horizon for something, anything! Others cocoon in every blanket and hide below. All make frequent trips to the head. I think that the huge amounts of adrenalin being pumped in the system cranks up the bowel.

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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The only thing I suffered from during our long off-shore days on the cruise ship was boredom, usually relieved by harassing old people.

_______
Well, you don't actually blow on it. That's just an expression.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

Crapper John McIntyre's picture
l 100+ points
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I had this same exact issue except I thought I was going to throw up in public, not shit. It progressed until I was completely unable to leave the house for a few months in 11th grade. The send me to a hospital, drugged me up and sent me to a quack therapist. I was able to deal with it, but still very anxious and only went out when it was really necessary. Finally, armed with benzodiazapines up the ass, I started going out once in a great while and drinking a tiny bit (too afraid to drink more than a few sips..I would ask over and over if people thought I'd had too much alcohol). That had no ill effects, so I did it more, and drank a little more. Finally I'd drink until I puked my brains out every weekend. I was pretty much cured after that. Maybe you could do sometime similar with the beer? Facing your biggest fear while you're totally trashed is a lot easier than when you're sober and in the midst of a full blown panic attack.

Probably not a doctor's prefered route to recovery...hah.

BTW, I take NO medications now, and I drink maybe, 3 times a month.

Kendra not afraid for you to know my name's picture
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Ok, so I stumbled across this page and thought I would add a comment. I dont know when the last time was that someone checked this or was on it but hopefully someone will read this and it will help.

In 2005 my grandpa shot himself, i was in my sophmore year in high school. My whole world collapsed and I developed anxiety/ibs/social anxiety/depression. My mom took me out of school because i was ditching class to be in the bathroom because my stomach was screwed up every day and everyone knows how teachers are about going to the bathroom and how embarassing it is when you have diarreah and you have to excuse yourself every 5 minutes. After I was pulled out of school I was literally stuck in the house all the time because if I left I would be panicking to find a bathroom because of gas and painful diarrhea. I am 19 years old and I have been dealing with this since 2005. Since then I have been to the doctor twice and they told me to take anti acid meds. and anti- diarrhea tablets which of course only constipated me which was no good. I refuse to get on any meds for this esp. anti depression meds. because they are placebos, horrible for your body, and taking them only covers up the problem to the point where eventually it just gets harder and harder to deal with. I too have lost many friends because I am "no fun" anymore or I am a "worthless peice of shi**" etc. People can be cruel but you have to get to the place in your head where you dont care what they think. Easier said than done, I know and am still guilty of caring but if someone doenst like you because you poo alot then why be their friend anyways. pooping is a natural thing and it is ridiculous how our society makes it out to be this disgusting thing that everyone pretends to not do.

Since then I have gone from not being able to leave the house to...being able to walk a neighborhood with out having any problems to....not being able to leave the house if I havent pooped too...waking up in the morning having to get on my hands and knees because I am so bloated and I have diarrhea. Currently I am constipated every other day there fore my stomach chooses for me which days Im aloud to have a life lol. There are a couple different things that I have learned about this Pooping problem, anxiety and depression. First off...it is extremely common to have to poo when you get nervous just not alot of people talk about it but I assure you at least 3 out of 10 people have the problem or have had the problem. It is natural for your feelings to go straight to your stomach...what you are going through in your life reflects on your body. Second, anxiety is the fear that something bad will happen, while depression is the acceptance that something bad already has happened. Really all this is is a mind over matter situation. If you change the way you think then you will change what happens in certain situations. For example...before I leave the house I have a million thoughts going through my head "will i be able to find a bathroom", "will i shit my pants", "will it hurt", etc...if you break down the thoughts you realize that really the things you are worried about are stupid. So instead of saying what if this happens and have all these senarios going through your head picture yourself out and about enjoying yourself. tell yourself that you will have a good time and that you will be comfortable, you have to have a positive outlook if you want positive results. All of us with these anxiety and depression problems are not victims of our anxiety we are victims of ourselves. you control what you think and how you handle yourself, be in the present moment. When you have bad thoughts about the future break it down and ask yourself...what is the worst thing that can happen? and when you get that answer ask the same question because seriously...if i were to leave the house right now and shit myself i would be embarassed...that is all. I am currently reading a book called "WHEN PANIC ATTACKS" and it has changed my way of thinking alot. Google it or something and pick it up because the author is absolutely brilliant.

So I hope this helped a little bit, I know its hard but just remember...you are always in control and you only have one life to live to so live it up. Right now Im going to try to convince myself to get out of the house and not worry about it...lol

If you want to contact me regarding this feel free at photodoll17@aol.com

Love you all and stay strong! :D

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points
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Girl, if your friends ditched you because of this, they weren't your friends. I hope that you find some peace and better people to appreciate you, because you sound like a good person.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Kendra not afraid for you to know my name's picture
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Daphne,
Thank you for your comment back on this. I know they werent real friends and they didnt really care about me, thats why I am more open about this now. I really appriciate your kind words :) Thanks a bunch! xoxo

Squat-n-leaveit's picture
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Wow Kendra;
I know a lad, his father committed suicide. Shotgun. Made quite a mess. Mother refused to hire someone to clean it up, and refused to do it herself. Was fine for awhile after cleaning blood and brains off the bathroom floor. Awhile is the operative word! Panic and anxiety started chipping away at his life, until it was totally in control of every aspect of it.

Doctors and pharmacology was strike one. Study and psychiatry was strike two. Alternative medicine, acupuncture, and herbs was nearly strike three. Then there was meditation. The act of trying to quiet the mind caused it to rebel and race. With practice, (lots of!) things changed. Fear changed from adversary to a companion, (as strange as that sounds!) to be observed and not reacted to. (later to be ignored, and dismissed)

I would say, after all these years, he is much more sane than I am. (maybe that's not so difficult!) Good friend, father, husband, man.

Kendra's picture
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squat n leav it, lol

ya its a really rough thing, suicide...thanks for your support fellow scotsman?

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points
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kendra, you should sign up for an account and hang around.
_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

leona's picture
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hiyaa, i'm 15 and my mum had severe agraphobia for 8 years before i was born and didn't leave the house once over that time.
only recently have i discovered the reason behind her agraphobia but it's helped me understand what happened to her alot.

my mum is now a manic depressive and has control issues because of the loss of control that she had during her agraphobia.
even though this happened over 20 years ago it's affected my life greatly, i no longer get to see her, and she's been on strong medication for as long as i can remember.

i'd really reccomend you see somebody about your agraphobia, to make a positive impact on the problem you have, because it can be sorted out pretty smoothly with the right help.
then you'll be able to get on with your life without these stresses and it wont affect you and others in the future.

my mum didn't get good help, and didn't try to help herself, and now i have to do anger management and see a psychotherapist because of how her control issues (that all stemmed from the agraphobia) have affected me. she's also cut herself off from the rest of her family and let her loss of control get the better of her.

this might sound abit messed up, coz im just throwing all this info at you. but i hope you understand what i mean?

be positive about your situation and get some help, and then you can be happy and not let your condition trigger other things.

i hope i've helped

if you want to ask me anything my myspace is myspace.com/leoquirk
i know pretty much all there is to know about agraphobia and i'd be glad to help you out.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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I started getting poop anxiety about 6 years ago, when I was in the elevator and suddenly had to go really bad (number 2). I tried holding it in, but a stinky smell came out, I was by myself in the elevator, but then someone walked in as I was walking out, so I was completely mortified. After that, I started having anxieties where I feared having to do number 2 during important situations like job interviews, or group meetings, etc. I can hold the poop in, but my fear is something stinky coming out of me b/c I have to go. The anxiety goes away if I pooped before an important meeting cuz then I am sure I wouldn't have to go. but if I have not gone yet and I'm stuck in a room fall of people I start freaking out. So now my only solution to my anxiety is pooping before every meeting and job interviews, etc. Sometimes my body doesn't feel like going, but I talk it into going anyway.

daphne's picture
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Ha! That must be some conversation!


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Anonymous Coward's picture
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I just cried a bunch reading everyone's message. Although reading that people are in the same boat is comforting it is extremely sad to live like this. I am a outgoing person but since I have been living with this anxiety for 7+ years it makes me sad.
In 2003, I went to a great psychologist and he helped me through hypnotherapy. I still don't know how that worked. It helped brilliantly for a while. Although I just learned to cope with my urges by becoming a loner. efore the process, I couldn't drive anywhere. In this case, at least when I was alone driving somewhere I could maintain a job and school. But now,it has come roaring back. I plan my trips so I know which bathroom will be available where. It inhibits friendly get togethers and vacations or even diving with someone across the street. Now I don't have insureance to cover psychotherapy. I went to the doctor, but she didn't understand. She gave me some tranq pill but on the label it said DO NOT Drive. HELLO that is most of my problem.
I know it is psychological because drinking helps soo much that now I am an alcoholic in any social function.
I wish someone will figure out how to help us. It's been a long time and I just want a go with the flow life. I don't want to arrange every kind of outing with friends around my stomach needs. Although pooping is something everyone does, I hate feeling debilitated each time someone mentions driving, waiting in line, or any other kind of out of control situation.!!
I wish I could fix this on my own. I know exactly what triggered it but can't seem to rationalize my way out of it. Grr. Someone please tell me how to get the rest of my life back!!

JACAMOO's picture
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ohhh golly gosh. i also never believed thst anyone else could possibly have this problem. i used to love life and go out so much. my friend helped me a few years bsck he didnt even do anything he was just a good mate. i never told him though. i messed up and hes not around anymord. im going to take the plunge and try and get it sorted soon hope all you guys do well to. god bless xbox360 and not having to go out

Anonymous Coward's picture
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I have the same problems with my anxiety causing my insides to go crazy. I've had my husband pull over at random stores just so i can use the bathroom, and I assure you that after I go #2, it does help, but I still avoid going anywhere due to embarrassment. I don't even take asprin, and you should see the pains I go through just to take a vitamin! So basically, any perscription solution is out of the question. Therefore, I am doing some research about colon cleanses. It's worked for many people that have anxiety disorders, and I assume that helping my anxiety will help me with my upset stomach problem. I will atempt to fight the the root of my problem, not the symptoms. Please let me know if anyone has had a successful or unsuccessful experienece with a colon cleanser.

Logjam's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
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Consider the possibility that the root of your problem is not a dirty colon but a screwed-up thought process. What you then need is a "mind cleanser." For that, I could not recommend anything more powerful than the postings on this site by our own Prarie Doggin. After reading his posts, I find all sorts of slimy shit just sliding right out of my brain. Maybe Teddy or daphne will do it for you, but I'm sure whatever your cup of tea, you can find your cure right here on PR.

Logjam

THE CURE's picture
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Same as everyone else.. Wow, I thought I was alone too. I have had this problem for 1.5 years, but I believe I've found a solution, and so far it's worked. I'm back to about 90% normalcy!! I'm going out again, playing in two hockey leauges, being normal!!!!!!

HERE'S THE CURE: STOP CARING WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK ABOUT YOU.

Every incident leads back to that... Not wanting to ride in cars with other people, going out to clubs/bars, being in a trapped situation like elevators, job interviews etc... If you would just realize that A) Your friends shouldn't care if they're good friends, and B) Everyone else DOESN'T MATTER... You realize that there's no reason to worry! Who cares if you have to step over a few random strangers in a movie theater to go to the bathroom? For all they know, you're getting up to get a drink or take a phone call... And how often does somebody step over you, and you ignore it? See!

A few people here made good points: Think about good experiences instead of dwelling on bad ones... I have a huuge problem with riding in other people's cars. I might get the stomach pain and freak out on them! But when that happens, I remember when I was 12 and my brother and I had a lawn mowing business and we rode around in his car with the windows down and had so much fun! If that doesn't work, I play with my phone, or screw with the radio.

Another good point was the "What's the worst that can happen?" point. I had to stop caring about what MIGHT happen.

LASTLY, I'll say.. You can help the situation greatly by living a healthy lifestyle. Regular exercise, eating healthy, and (strangely enough..) chewing your food well, all helps your digestion, so you won't naturally get any small stomach rumbles which will trigger your issues. Also, drink a ton of water... Your guts get dehydrated if you drink many soda's/beers etc and makes you feel funny.

Guys, this thing is beatable... Forget about pills or doctors if you know your problem is psychological like mine is. Just keep living healthy and putting yourself in situations you don't want to be in so that you can GET OVER IT. I told myself a billion times "I just want to be normal!" but then I decided to fix it myself and just stop thinking about it!

NOW GO LIVE YOUR LIFE!! :)

Squat-n-leaveit's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points
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Normal? What exactly IS normal? While we are at it. What is reality? Me, you, steel, feathers, and everything, are made of only 3 things. Protons, neutrons, and electrons. Trouble is these "things" are not things. They are only electrical fluctuations. The stuff of the universe is not stuff! And... Electrons are supposedly able to be in more than one place, and/or time, at the same time. So... You and I may be sharing electrons right now. And sharing with Jesus, or a rock on Pluto, and...

chris d's picture
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"The Cure" is right. You have to face this head on.

I will tell you that I have experienced "the worst that can happen" and yes, when a 30-something male craps his (white) pants on a shuttle bus from downtown New Orleans to the airport at 6 a.m., it's no day at the beach.

But I survived. My wife saw me through it, and I got "better". I learned a lot of the precautions others have already mentioned. And I have sought relief in some pretty exotic locales over the years.

I took Xanax for awhile, but what really offered the most help was Metamucil. Clean the system out regular and there's nothing left to poop.

Be careful though...If you're fortunate enough to recover, don't let your guard down; especially during high stress times. My oldest graduated high school this past month. The attacks returned about five months ago.

But I'll continue to try to deal with it. I'm taking two kids on a plane Saturday. Wish me luck.

By the by, one of the drugs I did like was Levsin, which was like a fast-acting anti-diarrheal you place under your tongue when an attack since imminent.

Adelade's picture
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yeah, i don't think you have Agoraphobia, because your not actually scared of going out, your just scared of pooping. i have the same problem, i HATE it. i feel like nothings working to make it better either.

xannie ride's picture
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WOW! weoll i just added this site as a favorite! i will tell the world, but not too many personal people in my life, that i at 23 shit my pants, i was on antibiotics from the dentist, i was only suppost to take them for 2 weeks but they tore my stomach up so bad that the dentist told me to spred them out over a month, well one day on my way to work, with my boyfriend, i felt the erge, (iwas driving) my boyfriend said pull over at the next place you see and go, well by then it passed,...a few minutes later i thought ok, i will just let out a fart, well whe i pushed, OMG all the fod i had eaten all week just came out my butt!!! seriously, i was laughing and crying, i pulled into the closest place whcih was a mcdonalds, i ran to the bathroom and sat on the toilet and went some more,i had to through out my undies, and my pants my socks. i sat in that bathroom for 45 minutes trying to figure out a plan, all i had on was a sweat shirt so i tok it off and wrapped it around my waist and hauled ass outside for the car, it was dead winter and dark, but people still saw me! i didnt go anywhere for months, then i was able to go out, but 3 yrs later i still get chest pains when i stsrt thinking of going out! long story short cuz im skipping alot of details, i am dealing with it day by day! some days rock, some days i wish i was dead, i take xanax(not prescribed) it helps sometimes! i think i HAVE to break down and see a therapist! but i just wanna let EVERYONE know, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!! just take it day by day and think of all the times YOU DID NOT SHIT YOURSELF! it helps

Squat-n-leaveit's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points
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Hello Xannie... Take a long cleansing breath, and join us.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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Good to know that im not alone ....but now is there a way to get rid of this stupid feeling i am sick of it skipping school classes.....and having the idea to drop out of highschool..Sometimes i just feel skipping meals cause im afraid of what might happen...PLEASE HELP!!!

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
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AC, you have to see a doctor, preferably a gastroenterogist, for help. And stay in school.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

EyeBeeEss's picture
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Howdy all. Same issues here. Someone asks me to drive 20 miles into town and my gut starts making noises like a dying yak. The only way I can kind of get through a poop attack is to a) don't eat before or during an outing, b) take a handful of chewable Immodium, c) listen to music you love in the car but play it LOUD! and d)if all else fails, you can try masturbating in the car. Yeah, I guess it goes against the public embarassment issue, but you don't have to be obvious about it. (I guess this would only work well for girls...hmh). Maybe that's too much to swallow, but I'm running out of options. I'm allergic to all of the meds you can take, and meditation isn't instant enough. I have come to realize that most of us do not really have agoraphobia. A few people mentioned IBS. IBS will prevent you from leaving the house, social anxiety, etc. So we aren't crazy people with poop problems; we are people with poop problems that are driving us crazy. There is a difference. Good luck to all, and thank you for this forum. Nice to know I'm not the only possessed person in existance!

Squat-n-leaveit's picture
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Which is cause, and which is effect?

EyeBeeEss's picture
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The IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome) is the cause; agoraphobia and panic attacks are the effect.

IBS NO MORE's picture
k 500+ points
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EyeBeeEss -- there is a true cure for the IBS part, and maybe stopping the IBS will make the anxiety go away, too. It's called food combining, and it will immediately put an end to physical symptoms of many digestive issues.

Search "food combining" on the web for info. You can also read my story by clicking the link below.

The program I used made it really easy (and tasty!) to follow food combining guidelines, and literally ended my daily IBS issues the very first day.

There's a free 4-day trial you can sign up for, which will give you an idea of what's involved. Give it a try--I know it will get rid of the IBS, but please be sure to come back and let us know if it helps with the anxiety too.

_______
How I beat IBS

When you say the word “poop,” your mouth makes the same motion your butthole does when pooping…
The same can be said for the phrase “explosive diarrhea.”

perhaps theres a cure's picture
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so a close relative of mine past away just last year and a few months afterwards a started expeiriencing embarrassing random odors that others could smell. i thought it was a one time thing so i forgot about it, however it continued to progress and i have becone anxious nervous and depressed because of it and the anxiety is obviosly making it worse i tought if i took care of the anxiety it would take care of the problem but im not so sure it started because of anxiety. its unpredictable i never no when it will or will not happen but it seems that it has never happened when i am in the comfort of my own home this keeps me from wanting to go anywhere, afriends house, school, the bus! i need help
PlEASE HELP ME!!!!!!

IBS NO MORE's picture
k 500+ points
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Perhaps -- try eating more colorful veggies and less meat/dairy. Also try to avoid eating proteins (meat) with carbs (bread, rice, pasta, potatoes, corn, carrots).

Do these things for a few days and let us know if you're still leaking noxious fumes after that.

_______
How I beat IBS

When you say the word “poop,” your mouth makes the same motion your butthole does when pooping…
The same can be said for the phrase “explosive diarrhea.”

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
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I will try to force myself to go to the grocery tomorrow. I so dislike going to the grocery. I ate your way up until last year. And I stayed skinny and couldn't gain weight. I've got to try and do better.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Anonymous Coward's picture
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i feel the exact same way. I have anxiety and i feel like i need to poop which makes me more anxious. I like many others here thought i was the only one. Im taking xanax which doesnt really work so i still feel the same. Im going away in a few weeks and that makes me even worse. I am 'shitting myself'. Im too scared to tell the doctor or my psychologist about the poop problem. Im only 17 and im scared that i will never beat this.

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
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AC, you needto see a gastroenterologist if you are shitting yourself at seventeen. I doubt it's psychological. I got anxious and depressed when I began shitting my pants and the doctor ignored my symptoms. I found another doctor who treats me right and now I'm not depressed over it. And I know what is really wrong now.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

KieKiee's picture
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Hmm okay so my problem is very similar to everyone here, I left school in May this year, since then, I took up a girlfriend, gym and a part time bar job, in august I went on holiday, and stopped going to the gym with my dad. Since I returned from my holiday, I have had 'worries' of needing to poop when I'm out of the house, I noticed these around the time I started college in September. I've had this problem about two months now, just before I leave the house I go to the bathroom two, maybe three times and is pure runny sludge, sorry about description :). I'm sick to death of this problem, now my girlfriend comes to my house all the time, which she says she doesnt mind, but I'd love to treat her and take her out, I just dont want my stomach getting in the way. She comes to my house to see me once or twice a week now, whenever I see her I'm perfectly okay, until we decide to leave the house, when I'm taking her to the bus stop or when we go to the shop, I always rush to the loo, just before I go out anywhere I try to go to the toilet, and if I don't go I end up worried that I've tried to go, its on its way down, and when I leave the house it will decide to tell me it's ready to come out... I've visited the doctor, had blood and stool tests and they all came back fine. So I know I don't have a problem with my body, it's my mind, after reading this whole thread, I noticed nobody mentioned exercise, anxiety can be caused by stress, and stress can be conquered by exercise, I think when I left the gym, my body started to lower its defense levels again and all of this wave of anxiety hit me, because of the stress I was dealing with from my part time job, I think because I work nights, it alters my body clock, and having to switch to daytime college hours in the week really messes me about. When I was about twelve I went to Alton Towers and went on a few too many rides after eating a MacDonalds, I ended up crapping myself in a queue for a water ride and was so embarrassed I went home straight away, as anybody would, through school after that I never went to the toilet for a poop because like, first the toilets were manky and secondly the kids in the school always robbed the loo roll and threw it around the school. This anxiety is taking over whatever I want to do, if someone says we'll go out tomorrow night, the first thought in my head is, will I need a poo while I'm out with them. It's literally driving me mental, i'm starting the gym on the 1st of December, I'm going to try a month of working out, without taking protein shakes or any supplements, and see how things change, I will let you all know how I get on and if I notice any differences. I used to do both cardiovascular and weight training. I'm 16, i also have a feeling that when I start driving I will be better as I can go to my girlfriends house as often as I want, knowing that I don't have two buses and twenty min walk back to my house again.. I have found myself skipping meals and cutting down on food intake, I noticed skipping breakfast in a morning before college, then eating when I get to college helps slightly, also ACTIVIA is a very good yoghurt for IBS symptoms, seeing as my symptoms are pretty similar, I tried this and it helped "clog me up" I have very regular bowel movements between 1 and 3 times daily, I hope this may have helped some of you, if anyone has any advice please let me know,i'll check this thread regular, I feel good talking about my problem, and sharing it with other people who have the same symptoms as I have, it's good knowing I'm not the only one. The creator of this site deserves a medal! So do all of you suffering from this problem! Thanks for reading!

Squat-n-leaveit's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points
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Interesting... You say Dave deserves a medal for creation of this website. What exactly should this medal look like? Should it be made of gold, or porcelain? Diamond or dung? Serious certificate, or joke soap on a rope?

sadgirl's picture
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I am so happy that i found this site! I too, thought that i was the only one. I definitely feel like the only one. It's great that we can all come together and support each other. I am recently having a very hard time with it. It IS turning in to agoraphobia. I can't go ANYWHERE without thinking about it. It used to just be quiet settings that made me uncomfortable but now its anything and everything besides my own home. Recently i went to the mall with my boyfriend, neither of us drive so i insisted that we take a cab so i could avoid the city bus. I was so nervous inside the mall that I actually started to cry. I'm 20 years old and i'm just a loner. I have lots of friends but am too afraid to hang out with them. I hate being an inconvenience and i hate having to explain myself to people all of the time. I avoid meals when i am going somewhere. If i don't poop before i go somewhere i feel extremely uneasy. It is ruining my life. I used to be such a social person and now i can't even stand it. I LOVE spending money and shopping but now i just feel i can't. I'm even worried that i'm not going to get my Christmas shopping done. My friend invited me to her birthday party where we will be in a limo for 2 hours...what if i have to poop? I'm absolutely DREADING it. Not only do i have to poop when i go out i get gassy and i also get these weird internal fart things...anyone else get those??? I have been to a gastroenterologist and was told that there is nothing wrong with me. I had a gastroscopy. I was told that i will get atrophic gastritis later on in life and that i need to be on B12 supplements because i will be unable to absorb them. It's not helping. I just need help. I'm getting very depressed.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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I have the same problem. I am a 20 year old female. I used to be so social and now i can BARELY leave my house. It's terrible. It is ruining my life and i am missing out on so much. I not only have to poop all the time i am gassy and i get these weird internal farts (anyone else?) I just want to be "normal" i know it is all in my head because i have been to a gastroenterologist and told that there is nothing wrong with me. I'm glad we are all here to support each other. I hope i get better soon. I don't even know if i will get my Christmas shopping done. Being in the mall scares the shit out of me (pun intended) so much that i have burst into tears. My life sucks. I skip meals and i definitely NEVER go out and eat.

IBS NO MORE's picture
k 500+ points
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AC - I'd be willing to bet the "internal farts" are just the sounds your fart gas makes as your colon squeezes it toward your asshole. I used to get those just before an IBS attack.

Food combining made ALL internal digestive rumblings and shenanigans go away, literally overnight.

It's NOT all in your head, but it IS all about what you put into that large opening in the front of your head. Hoping isn't going to make this problem stop; changing your diet will.

_______
How I beat IBS

When you say the word “poop,” your mouth makes the same motion your butthole does when pooping…
The same can be said for the phrase “explosive diarrhea.”

Danny may have a cure's picture
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I understand how everybody is feeling. I remember being 7 years old at school and holding a poo in, and ever since then I have had nervous pooing. Staying in the car is a really bad one, if I am left in the car I get the urge to go and it feels like a constipated feeling but it's there ready to come out! Anyway I went to France not so long ago and I tried my bloody hardest not to think about it and to enjoy myself and believe it or not, the pains never came! So everybody is probably right, it is to do with the mind but I have a question then. If it is to do with the mind, what should we do when we get the urge? That is the part I'm struggling with. Could this be linked to Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS)? And not to be horrible but I felt so relieved when I found out it wasn't just me! Anyway a big thanks to everyone who has commented on this site and especially to the creator of this site because you've all helped me dearly!

Tormented and Trapped Nervous Pooper's picture
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I can't believe I just found this website! I am 31 years old and I've had this "poop/anxiety" thing for 5 years now. I used to travel all the time and now I can't even focus on having a good time when I do travel. It all started in 2005 when I was running an errand during my lunch hour. All of a sudden I got a huge cramp so I immediately planned on pulling over to McDonalds. Suddenly traffic completely stopped on a 8 lane heavily traveled road due to some construction. I was trapped! How could both of these things possibly have occurred right at the same time! Being "trapped" in traffic AND diarrhea? I remember thinking, "Are you f-ing kidding me?". There's more...I could not turn into the McDonald's entrance since there was a median in the middle of the road at my current traffic position. I thought I was going to explode and I started crying. I don't know why the thought of crapping my pants manifested into the end of the world. Traffic was not moving at all! Eventually, I made it to an Arby's a little further up the road, but since it was in the ghetto, they only had standing room and no access to a public bathroom. I didn't know what to do...then another pain came along. It hurt so bad that I was stunned and I couldn't take another step. The pain quickly passed as I did my best to let some "air" out with out letting the poop pass, too. Sorry, gross, I know! I ran back to my car. I went to a gas station a little further down the road. Got out of the car and had just about given up. Another stunning stomach pain came and I ended up making it to the bathroom only to have an explosion. This was terribly TRAUMITIZING! I am sure I've had other similar incidents in my life in which I had an urgent need to poop, but for some reason, this specific event changed my life! It's silly and I apologize if this is all "too much information" for you all. I've always been strong willed and able to overcome any fears quickly....except this one. I am a little better now. I tell myself that accidents happen, people get sick with out notice, and if I do poop my pants it won't be the end of the world. However, I still get very anxious when I know I am going to be in a situation where I will be "trapped". What if I have to poop, urgently? I always drive so I am in control of leaving any situation....no taxi's, no buses, and definately no subways (my trip to NYC was extremely stressful)! I have a hard time getting on planes. Though I am not afraid to just poop anywhere, I know that there will only be certain times (after take off and before landing) that I will have access to a bathroom on a flight. What if I have to poop during those short times when I am forbidden from getting up from my seat? When I can, I plan all of my routes. I know where bathrooms are at all times. I sit near a door during meetings at the office and I sit at the end of a row at entertainment venues. Unfortunately, there are a lot of situations where I can't control where I am going to sit and for how long I will be "trapped"...especially at weddings or conferences where I know it's going to be a packed venue and it's going to be quiet during the event....I get gas from getting anxious and I am a nervous pooper! Not only am I afraid I will have one of those "emergency urges" but I will have to get up, wiggle down a row full of people, and interrupt the event, possibly passing gas accidentlly as I leave. Once I had to get up from an office meeting and my boss actually said "Where do you think you are going?". I simply said "Geez, I have to POOP...you wanna come with?". I'd made it into a joke and everyone thought it was hilarious (I always tell it like it is and my comments are generally well received)...but I wasn't kidding and though I was embarrassed on the inside, I knew no one thought I was serious. It certainly shut my boss up, that's for sure!

In the morning, I generally do not leave my house unless I've pooped at least once. If I am planning a trip, I won't eat for days (though I know our bodies still produce solid waste even if we don't eat anything). I look forward to a summer "float trip" every year in which we go camping and float down a slow running river in rafts with about 20 people...a bathroom of any sort is out of the question during the whole trip. We actually have to pee in the river (which is gross, but easy when you've already had a few tasty alcoholic beverages)! The point is that the floating part is generally 6-7 hours long and I won't eat anything for 5 days before the trip...that way I know if I do get the "runs", the amount will be very minimal and could go unnoticed if I have to pull my raft to shore and poop in the wilderness. Crazy!!!

This is not the old me, for sure! And this feeling is very irrational to me but I still obsess over it. I think the factor that turns a fear into a phobia is the recognition that it IS irrational, but for some reason the "matter" stands over the "mind" in each individual case.

My fiance is a physician...though he is sympathetic to my issue, he still doesn't think it should be that "big of a deal" that it would hinder me from doing the things I've always loved to do. The thing that stinks is that this deal has really affected my day-to-day life. Everything I do is planned in advance and I am hoping that my fiance doesn't become somewhat resentful toward the fact that I am not an exciting "spur of the moment" type of gal anymore. Obviously, I am not shy about crude things and I have absolutely no problem discussing bodily functions with anyone who is willing to listen. Haaa...Haaa! I told my family doctor about my issue and she seriously just giggled and said to "give it time, you'll get over it". So, I giggled back and said "easy for you to say", and we left it at that.

Well, apparently 5 years has not been enough time to get over it...I'm still working on it. Nice to know you all are out there. I think sharing my experience and reading yours might help me a great deal. Any suggestions out there for vitamins that help relieve stress/anxiety? If someone gave me a sugar pill and told me it was a "cure" I'd probably believe them out of desperation! Hey, what ever it takes, right?

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Sign up and stick around. You are among friends here. Perhaps with time (hopefully a short amount of time) you can laugh your way to freedom.