bizarre anal mucous

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j 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb
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Jessi asks:

Starting about 3 years ago, I have expelled on a somewhat regular basis what I call an "asspod." They are whitish in color, solid, and of uniform size and shape (ovoid, about 2 cm long and .7 cm diameter). Pathology report on sample asspod identified material as mucous. OK, some mucous in the intestine is of course normal, but firmly-packed pods on a regular (i.e., monthly) basis, all of uniform size and shape??? Doctor was stymied but says since it's only mucous, I shouldn't worry.

But I still find it disturbing. Have you ever heard of such a thing? If so, what causes it? Should I be concerned? Is there a name other than "asspod"?

Thanks for your time.




Dear Jessi,

I believe you have the name down correctly. The elimination of Asspods from the rectum is commonly referred to as "Asspodexpellitum".

One theory is that there is an abnormal amount of mucus produced in the small or large intestine, that passes along the digestive tract and for some reaon, does not dissolve and is excreted relatively unchanged.

Another theory is that your body has been penetrated by aliens while you sleep, and the aforementioned "Asspods" are embryonic life forms that require the water from an earthlings toilet bowl to gestate and hatch.

Please be advised that I am only a Poonurse. I am NOT a medical doctor. Any advice I give should be taken moderate skepticism. Please consult a REAL medical doctor if you feel you have a serious medical condition.

-- Poonurse

Poonurse is an RN with 25 years experience in labor and delivery. Her qualifications include seeing a lot of poop, and owning a computer. Also, she works in Michigan, which she calls the asshole of the universe, so that's another bit of credibility.

Got a question for her?












143 Comments on "bizarre anal mucous"

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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Ew! I have the problem in the other direction. If I eat really starchy food sometimes I'll hack up these little greenish-yellow nuggets that the dogs won't even eat. (Trust me. I gave one to them to see what would happen and they all looked at my like I was crazy.) Haven't asked the doctor about it yet. And, really, why am I talking about it here? It has nothing to do with poop!

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

acid_fairy's picture
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Same here. I cough up little whitish lumps that could kill a tree with their stink. Dunno why, but..?

stinky's picture
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After having my butthole streched out from fisting alot, I have noticed my poop becoming larger and larger each time I go.Do you think this will plugg up my Aunt's MODE?p.s. icant reach the paper!

freakazoid's picture
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Oh, stinky. I would insult your meager intelligence but I'm much too tired.

Jes's picture
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The little white/yellow lumps you cough up are called Tonsiloliths (tonsil stones). They smell awful and can cause bad breath.

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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Thanks for the input, Jes. I've wondered about those things. They're NASTY!

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

SkipVicious's picture
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yes thanx for the input
i was also wondering what caused those nasty things

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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I just hawked up one that was the size of my pinkie fingernail. It's was nasty!

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

teresa's picture
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what does it mean to have mucous in the poop?

Fart Poopie's picture
j 1000+ points
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That is so very interesting. I've never had mucous come out my butt, nor have I heard of anyone who had mucous come out their butt. Ya learn something new everyday here at PoopReport.

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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I used to think it was impossible, too. Until it happened to me. Antibiotics can cause poop musous (i.e. butt boogers).

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

tHey DoNt uNdeRstanD's picture
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I to have this mucous poop along with painful gas.I just in the last two weeks stopped smokin crank(yea i know gross habit, sik)my lungs were very congested with mucous probably from the damage that the drug had caused and after i stopped i was coughing up alot of mucous and at times swallowing it not having time to discard it sanitarily,so i thought that this was what it was.Hopefully it will diminish with time as long as i stay clean. thanks for having this site, even though it is a disturbing if not gross comment,If it werent for caring people like urself we would be stressed , worried and possibly uninformed.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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i cough up a litle whit thing that smells like shit one every couple of weeks they are not hard or anything it kind of freaks me out i was just wondering if anyone knows what these are and should i be worried

Uglee Chick's picture
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I sometimes fart mucous. It comes unexpected and wets my pants with stickyness. I than go to the bathroom and let her rip. I am concerned about the amount of runny poop and blood...

SamDamnit's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points
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What's happening here is that you are excreting your mind control implants. Every time you doo it, a S.C.A.T. team has to sneak in to your bedroom and replace it. Please refrain from coughing up or expelling your happy pods. They are there for your own protection. How do you think "Friends" became such a popular show?

_______
SamDamnit!
Presidential Overlord
Of Poopreportia
http://www.myspace.com/saintcarnivean

SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan

mott the poople's picture
l 100+ points
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I knew it SD! I thought I got sick of "friends" cause I stopped eating oysters, not from hocking them up.

Asphincter says WHAT...(!)

Asphincter says WHAT...(!)

Anonymous Coward's picture
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They're called poop things because i am a pro at coughing them up!

Anonymous Coward's picture
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I poop mucous all the time. It is really pretty gross. It almost always comes out this way too, which is just weird: I have an episode of a very large loose dump that comes on very quickly with huge cramps (thankfully with quick releif!). About 30-45 minutes after that is over, I feel an overwhelming need to let out what I think will be pure liquid poo. What comes out is a very big (3-4 cm x 1-2 cm) piece of loose mucous.
However, I do see mucous in my poo on a regular basis (>once a week); I have decided it must not be too abnormal if I see it all the time and I am still alive and kicking.

Wee Jock Poo-Pong McPlop's picture
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Oh good, other people with mucus poop! I don't feel so alone. It's only been happening to me this week, and I must admit I've been more bemused than scared by the whole event.
It's apparently a symptom of IBS. Joy!

amIconstipated?'s picture
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I have been suffering from mucus poop, I poop about once a week, and other such IBS-induced symptoms since I can remember; but as I am a silly youth too embarressed to confront parents, does anyone know any legit medical sites that would explain these conditions or constipation conditions in general? googling sites isnt too reassuring cus most of them arent .edu or .gov or .org or anything like that

thanks a lot,
poopless in ny

Oppo Taylor's picture
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I have had similar episodes to much of the above. I have done some recent reading on the subject, at least what I can find. Everything I have read so far tells me about Mucoidal Plaque that builds up over time on the walls of the intestine. The painful cramps are the plaque loosening from the walls. The plaque builds up from not eating enough fiber, and eating too much dairy. If you eat meat, bits of meat do not digest, and get trapped in the plaque. Instead of digesting, the particles 'compost' depending on the bacteria in your intestines. Stop eating so much cheese, especially fake cheese!

Happy Pooping!

Anonymous Coward's picture
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hey poopless in ny--go to www.helpforibs.com (Heather's IBS news etc.) It is a really great site with alot of good info! hope it helps some--it helped me

Relieved on the Crapper's picture
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Thank god for this site, in the last few days i have noticed this weird goop in my poop but only a little bit, but about 15 minutes ago there was a big glob of it and i was freaked out but after ten minutes of various reading Im reassured. Also there are little bits of stuff but that has always been normal; because i have a really, really fast metobolism.

Relieved on the Crapper's picture
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Also in the last 3 weeks i have drank more milk than ever before and ate less fibre then ever before.

IBSer's picture
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Ive had IBS for the last 3 yrs, ive always had mucus in my stool cause normal for ne1. For the last 3 weeks ive had lil more mucus than normal n blood in my stools then this week i started juss havin nothin but mucus, The doctor says its a sign of chron's disease. My best friend has tht n im truly scared cause i kno how much pain shes dealt wit n all the meds. Im on tons of meds now i juss dont wanna take nemore. lol.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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So the mucus is very clear gel-like. If you where to taste it it would be near-flavorless, much like that of a common boggie with the exception of the occasional brown speckel (no less knowing that this substance has been sitting inside of my arse alongside with fecal matter and active bacteria cultures). You can almost picture it floating atop the lipids of your coffee's upper regions greeting your lips as you read this article...

Anonymous Coward's picture
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I have been having regular sessions with a colon hydro-therapist (basically an enema where they hook you up to a machine) and today wispy strands and clumps of mucus were being ejected.

The therapist says this these mucus strands are parasites and that a lot of people have them. Mucus and/or IBS usually involves a parasite infestation. I'm on a herbal and fiber detox program and this is weakening the parasites so they are more readily flushed out.

Parasites live in the intestinal plaque coating intestines which arises from gluten (wheat & white flour) and dairy in our diets.

Try www.blessedherbs.com colon detox, total body or parasite detox programs to eliminate these "visitors". Parasites bloat you up and poison yer body. Juice fasting and hydrotherapy also cures this along with benzonite clay mixed with phyllium husk "shakes".

-- The colo-librarian

GottaGoGirl's picture
i 2000+ points
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Yeah, and chewing 3 Certified California Dustbunnies 2x daily will help, too. Send me a check, and I'll round some up for you.



Since apparently you'll buy anything.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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For those of you coughing up little yellow/white stones they are called tonsil stones or tonsiloliths. Roughly 3% of the population gets them. Basically plaque, food, bacteria, and salivia continually build up in the deep crevices some people have in their tonsils. At a certain point the crevice overflows and this is when you hack them up. There are sprays on the market to combat tonsil stones but the easiest way to solve the problem permanently is to have your tonsils removed. It is a routine surgery that will leave you with a really sore throat for 2-7 days.

healthy 1's picture
j 1000+ points
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The Shit Volcano (3006) -- 03.22.2004
Ew! I have the problem in the other direction. If I eat really starchy food sometimes I'll hack up these little greenish-yellow nuggets that the dogs won't even eat. (Trust me. I gave one to them to see what would happen and they all looked at my like I was crazy.) Haven't asked the doctor about it yet. And, really, why am I talking about it here? It has nothing to do with poop!

TSV, I have the same problem that you have. They get caught in your throat initially right? They are about the size of a grain of rice, right?

As for the asspods. How do you think Alf got to earth?

The ass pods are implanted by aleins, and rely on the body to begin the first phase of life. After they are expelled, they feed off of human waste and hatch into 1/2 alien and 1/2 human life forms. They then find more people to implant with these asspods.
_______
"-55F, a new record low? Nope, thermometer went bad. Looks like -50F still stands"

"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

Poo Keeps Me Up At Night's picture
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I have the problem with very stinky stools and large mucous "asspods." I was kind of freaking out about it, but then I found this on someone's website:

"You can have mucous for a variety of reasons. However, since you know there was lots of gunk in there, and just started an enzymes/probiotic program with help cleaning out the gunk, the mucus can be sloughing off in this process. The alternating stool consistency can also be part of this process. Allow a couple weeks for the bulk of the cleaning out to happen. I know there is the tendency to analyze things on a minute by minute or hour by hour basis, but the transit through the gut can be a matter of hours, days, or weeks. Allow about a week to evaluate changes in diet, supplements, or meds to see the net results (unless there are drastic healthy problems happening, of course)."

I had just started taking probiotics (bifidous and lactobacilus) a few days ago, so this makes sense. Most sites will say this is a bad sign, but I think it's actually good--my body is flushing out all the mucous and bad stuff so i can start digesting normally!

Anonymous Coward's picture
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I have been laughing my ass off reading this site! It is funny to hear all of these great stories! I came across this site in search of some info to help me identify the strange mucus in my poop, and much to my surprise the site answered that question and a few others. I have been asking doctors for over 10 years what this white junk is coming out of crevaces in my throat...tonsil stones!!!!! Not one doctor ever figured it out! I asked one doctor about a tonsilectomy and she said no because there wasn't a medical condition that required it...so what if it makes my breath awful and these things fly out of my mouth occasionally while I am talking to people! I am psychologically scarred from this happening once and landing in someone's food at the dinner table.

It is great to hear from other people who have these issues...thought I was alone until now! Thanks for the info!

Anonymous Coward's picture
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Laugh if you want at the subject matter, but I, too, had the same frightening mucous get eliminated into my underwear at work today, and if it wasn't for finding this website I would be wondering what on earth was happening. I'll look up the blessed herbs website and start a colon detox program. Great advice. We might belong to an odd "club" but I, for one, am grateful I found you all.

Anonymous Vegan's picture
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I feel so relieved! I've been vegetarian for 2 1/2 years, and 2 weeks ago I decided to make the switch to become a vegan. So, I decided to start with a slight cleanse (just eating fruit in the morning and then having only one thing with each meal that was not a raw or slightly cooked vegetable) and 3-4 days after starting, I started to get all this white mucus stuff in my poo and was freaking out. I feel so much more relieved now that I know I'm not alone, and that it's the dairy products being wiped out of my system.

Anonymous Shit Cheese's picture
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Eww, did they eat the Shit Cheese, thats what its called, or Tonsil Stone, basically you get them if you dont brush regularly,If you run your fingers around the gumline of your wisdom teeth and the smell of shit cheese is on your fingertip, you will get Tonsil Stones, its the same amasingly stinky shit matter... Sometimes for the fun of it, I let them grow, just to savor the rank smell, I mean, you could kill a bird in flight just by pointing one at it... Ever got somthing stuck under a nail so bad it leaks puss, thats how bad Shit Cheese stinks... :)

Anonymous Coward's picture
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so, earlier this evening i was having terrible cramps and then explosive diarrhea (sp?) after running to the bathroom a few times, i finally felt relief... but i was still very gassy and farting a good amount. soon after, what i thought was coming out as a fart, was actually a warm mucous-like substance. i quickly ran to the bathroom and pushed out a very painful, but loose and small stool. (keep in mind, i have hemorroids - or at least, i think i do, so painful stools are a regular for me!) the stool had a stringy-like mucous all over it, clear in some spots and light brown in color in others. when i wiped after the mission was accomplished, i had a good amount of mucous. it has an awful odor - a little fishy - and very uncomfortable.

can anyone else relate to this? im guessing this is somewhat normal bc i have read all of your stories of anal mucous... but mine seems a little different.

does yours smell? is it stringy when pooped out in the toilet? attached to your poop??

HELP!

Everybody poops's picture
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I just farted out a big brownish glob of fishy mucus. I was peeing and I farted it out right onto the floor. But it whiped up with just a few tissues. It was really viscus (thick) and it didn't smeel like poop, only a little fishy.

The night before I had an emergency poop but it turned out to be only water, and after this i'm having more small poops.

Reading this I'm not too worried, but still a little worried.

My evil ass is getting the better of me's picture
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For at least a year now I have had mucus in my poops, it's not the fact that I have mucus in my poop that bothers me it's the fact that the smell seeps through my ass. It actually started off as a smell of shit everytime I farted and then progressed into just the smell of this mucus stuff.

It's so embarrassing and it's getting me really depressed. I shower every day (washing my whole body and arse!!) and I know how to wipe my ass properly after a shit so why is this happening to me?

I shit about 3-4 times a day and they're not even full blown shits, they are feeble shits. It starts with excessive sweating of my arse and I can feel my arse-ring getting wet with the mucus building up. Then the stench comes and i go to the toilet.

What can I do to stop this horrible problem I have?

Please help!!

No way.'s picture
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Ok, so I had diarrhea, gross mucous poop (when it wasn't just liquid) and the nasty fish stank. I'm going to brave a colonoscopy (after parasite tests were negative). I'll let you all know what the diagnosis is. Ok, and BTW, I have the tonsil stones too, they aren't cured by tonsil removal always, and irrigation devices really help. If you search for tonsil stones on the net, there's a whole big website and forum dedicated to them and how to deal with them.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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hey, the other day i was out of town with a few close friends. I drank a large amount of alchohol and fell asleep. I woke up in the middle of the night because my stomach hurt really bad. i ran tho the john and farted and only a little bit of white stuff came out. It resembled sperm exactly and I am now freaking out. I would never expect this from my friends, but i did poop what looked like sperm. Also i took antibiotics for a few days before this happened. please tell me it can be mucous.

poops maggee's picture
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This morning I woke up and went to the bathroom to take a leak, and I farted. It was a moderately small fart but I noticed a wet feeling and decided to wipe it with a tissue to find a tissue full of yellow, oily stuff, a little mucus like but more liquid and very yellow. Then I noticed my boxers covered in the stuff and when I pulled them down the yellow stuff dripped onto the floor. I had to wipe a couple of times to get all the stuff off. The strange thing was that for something with such a distinctly yellow color it didnt smell too bad. It had a bit of a smell but not really a distinct shit smell. Just to clarify, this was not shit, I did not shit my pants. It was all from one meak fart but the mess was so strange and gross I threw away the boxers. A few minutes after I decided to shit and when I looked into the bowl out of curiosity for the yellow stuff, the poop was pretty normal and not liquidy, but there was some more of the yellow stuff floating on the water almost oil like. Any clues?

Dr hamburger's picture
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i coughed up one of those white puss things and it smelled like bad breath,, it looked a tiny smushy white pimple puss globule and it was hard,, i still have my tonsils

here we go poopty poo's picture
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I have the yellow moucos in the poop and it seems like it started when I started taking Darviset (not sure on spelling) pain killers. And it happened a second time after another day when I took the pain killer. I notice there is a link on the page called "vicodin problems" . Coincidence? I think not!

Daniella's picture
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Oh, those blobs of mucous with blood are uncomfortable and annoying! I usually fart them out after eating and upper GI pain. Mine are odorless which is good, but I've heard if they do stink, it is a yeast infection in your GI tract.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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hi everyone i am worried because when i i a shit this clear gunge come out with a bit of blood init and it smells horrid has anyone else got this???

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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AC of 01/05/2008...
Nope, you're the only one...good luck with that, maybe join the circus, get in on the side show action...I hear during down times the bearded lady deals a mean table of Texas Hold'em.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

ass snot 2008's picture
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Anal leakage sucks! I had like a king size bag of baked layes last night and then went out drinking. This moring I woke up with a leaking surprise, anal goo, yummy. Does anyone have any remedies for this nasty aliment?

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points
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Agh! You poor thing. Drink a ton of water, eat some oatmeal, and stay away from fake fat.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Boop's picture
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I also have mucus that is attached to my poop, or rarely comes out by itself. It ranges in color from orange/brown to white. And it does stink. I have not clue what it is, my doctor has no answers. Cam anyone help me out?

Anonymous Coward01's picture
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Question about mucous discharge. I had what I'm pretty sure were hemorrhoids last week, and for me the most annoying symptom was a clear-yellowish, sticky mucous discharge. I used moist wipes with aloe doused with Witchhazel to clean the area, and then I dried it and placed a tissue between my butt cheeks to absorb any mucous discharge. The mucous and other symptoms went away for about a week, and then yesterday when I defecated there was some blood -- I think a hemorrhoid popped. Since then, no blood, no pain when I go to the bathroom, but a non-stop flow of the mucous. I wiped it with witchhazel, got some hemorrhoid cream and applied it, and then put on an adult diaper, so I wouldn't have to wipe my butt every hour and make it raw.

Any tips on how to stop the flow of mucous, or do I just have to wait it out? I am eating fiber, drinking fluids, concentrating on not straining when I defecate, etc.

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points
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Normally, I'm not at a loss for words, but that title made my throat go dry, and I'm having trouble standing. I think I will just sit down and have some hot tea with honey and hope it all goes away.

marc's picture
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I have had what i think is mucas coming out for about 3-4 months, but i have these patches of mucas and something that looks like lumps of ear wax.

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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I'm not sure what that could be in your case Marc....but for me, and I had the same experience, it WAS lumps of ear wax, left from when I pulled my head out of my ass. The ordeal was so frightening, I promptly jammed it back in.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points
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Mr. Pump, I have had anal mucous coming out of my ears. Could I have the same problem?

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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Quite possibly, Mr. Doggin, but I don't know which to suggest, an ear, nose, and throat Doc, or a proctologist.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

MajikMan's picture
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For 3 days now, I've had irregular poops. Usually I have man poops, now I have either diarrhea or small poops. Now tonight I shat out a tiny ball of poop, followed by 3 snot clumps. And when I wiped, the paper had gel-like stuff on it. Clear-ish and a faint yellow with little to no smell to it. Why after 25 years of great normal pooping, am I having ass snot? And I have those tonsil stones too. I just pick them out of the crevices with a pointy tweezer.

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points
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MM, there's nothing magic about your life.

Anomalous Coward's picture
k 500+ points
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Alien eggs. No doubt about it. You've been abducted.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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So I've been constipated nearly my entire adult life. But just in the past 7-8 months or so, I've been taking fiber and miralax regularly and it's been helping. However, I've been noticing yellow blobs of stuff in my poop (they're kind of solid but squishy). Today I had a really large one come out so I'm saving it for the doc. My concern is about 7-8 months ago as well, my boyfriend's mom got tapeworms. He was checked and didn't have it, and I don't have any symptoms, in fact tape worms aren't supposed to be yellow either and apparently resemble grains of rice. But maybe I have a different kind of parasite? Yuck...

kcffa's picture
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I have problems with my tonsils and that's why I get those little white/yellow balls of smelly grossness out of my throat. It's reletively normal.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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I noticed I had snot coming out of my rear aswell... It happened a few times for a week. All I did was make sure I was spitting the loogies out my mouth everytime I felt some flem in my throat instead of just swallowing it, I'd spit it out. No more swallowing the flem for me and I haven't had this problem since. If that helps you, glad I can help.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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OMG all this talk about poop has me LOL! please stop focusing so much on bodily functions, it brings up a visual that is just gross.(imagining people studying their poop, ick) If you truly think something is wrong, not quite right, go to the doctor for goodness sakes and get it checked out.

poop obsesser's picture
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thank goodness for this site! most of my day revolves around when i am going to poop and how well it goes. my doc says i have IBS but i rarely seem to have any severe problems with it though i will occasionally get surprise diarrhea even after eating foods that normally dont bother me. its a mystery? anyway, what i do experience is the fact that i will often poop 3-4 times a day, usually a bit soft but nothing to worry about. after i go, often times i will have to go again about 30-45 minutes later but all that will come out is a tiny little poo with a bunch of mucous and sometimes a speck of bright red blood attached. it doesnt hurt or smell or anything but i wonder why it happens and why i poop so much!! am i absorbing my food correctly? am i a poop monster? i dont even eat all that much so where does it come from. when i ask the doc they just say "oh, it sounds like IBS" and then tell me to take some imodium or bentyl when problems flare up. i just want to make sure it is not something more severe like crohn's or diverticulitis. anyone have any ideas? also, my lower intestinal area is constantly gurgling and grumbling, ALL THE TIME! not painful, but embarrassing in quiet or intimate situations. whats this all about????

Anonymous Coward's picture
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this is a great site, i'm a young man who has suffered embarrassing anal problems for years, i've had episodes of roids, anal fissures, leaking mucous, tried various creams, and had a lot of doctors looking up my smelly hairy arse crack, and i wont even mention their fingers!
i get the leaking crap problem all the time, have a dump, wipe my arse, then have to go to the toilet about 3 hours later to wipe my arse again! i've tried elimination diets, removing caffeine, chocolate, yeast, nothing seems to work. at least i'm not alone..

Anonymous Coward's picture
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i have suffered from tonsil stones for years. you cough up chunks that range in size from teeny tiny to tiny. you instantly know it is in your mouth because it is real hard. squeeze it between your fingers and sniff and you will never socialize again. can a doctor scrape it out????? call 949-574-9396

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points
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The phone number is for a boat scraping business in California. You don't have tonsil stones, you have barnacles!


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points
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I was going to suggest reaming out the throat with one of Chief's turpentine soaked corn cobs.

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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PD, that would be a fine idea, if said corncob weren't full of shit and quite a bit of your fake fur suit.
_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

YouguysareGross's picture
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I was told by my N.D. friend not to eat shrimp and scavinger eating creatures because they are plain toxic and turn into mucus in our system. (Meat and Cows milk does also, but not as bad) So I became vegetarian two months ago and my system was fine. Then I decided to eat a Chinese shrimp dish and did I pay for it. That morning when I woke up. I had alot of mucus in my throat and had to hack and cough it up. I pooped it out too. No more toxic scavenger foods for me.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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sometimes i poop normally, sometimes not. sometime i have painful cramps followed by round pellet like craps. often i feel like its a fart trapped in my colon and have to wait for hours to finally squeeze it out, only to discover it is a tiny round peice of crap. it is often followed by mucous. i tried an enema after such an event and shat. about 15 minutes later i felt like i had to shit more, so i go, and after i look in the toilet to discover a ton of mucous. i have since stopped drinking vodka on a nightly basis and started taking fiber and its getting a lot better.