bizarre anal mucous

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j 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb
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Jessi asks:

Starting about 3 years ago, I have expelled on a somewhat regular basis what I call an "asspod." They are whitish in color, solid, and of uniform size and shape (ovoid, about 2 cm long and .7 cm diameter). Pathology report on sample asspod identified material as mucous. OK, some mucous in the intestine is of course normal, but firmly-packed pods on a regular (i.e., monthly) basis, all of uniform size and shape??? Doctor was stymied but says since it's only mucous, I shouldn't worry.

But I still find it disturbing. Have you ever heard of such a thing? If so, what causes it? Should I be concerned? Is there a name other than "asspod"?

Thanks for your time.




Dear Jessi,

I believe you have the name down correctly. The elimination of Asspods from the rectum is commonly referred to as "Asspodexpellitum".

One theory is that there is an abnormal amount of mucus produced in the small or large intestine, that passes along the digestive tract and for some reaon, does not dissolve and is excreted relatively unchanged.

Another theory is that your body has been penetrated by aliens while you sleep, and the aforementioned "Asspods" are embryonic life forms that require the water from an earthlings toilet bowl to gestate and hatch.

Please be advised that I am only a Poonurse. I am NOT a medical doctor. Any advice I give should be taken moderate skepticism. Please consult a REAL medical doctor if you feel you have a serious medical condition.

-- Poonurse

Poonurse is an RN with 25 years experience in labor and delivery. Her qualifications include seeing a lot of poop, and owning a computer. Also, she works in Michigan, which she calls the asshole of the universe, so that's another bit of credibility.

Got a question for her?












143 Comments on "bizarre anal mucous"

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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Ew! I have the problem in the other direction. If I eat really starchy food sometimes I'll hack up these little greenish-yellow nuggets that the dogs won't even eat. (Trust me. I gave one to them to see what would happen and they all looked at my like I was crazy.) Haven't asked the doctor about it yet. And, really, why am I talking about it here? It has nothing to do with poop!

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

acid_fairy's picture
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Same here. I cough up little whitish lumps that could kill a tree with their stink. Dunno why, but..?

stinky's picture
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After having my butthole streched out from fisting alot, I have noticed my poop becoming larger and larger each time I go.Do you think this will plugg up my Aunt's MODE?p.s. icant reach the paper!

freakazoid's picture
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Oh, stinky. I would insult your meager intelligence but I'm much too tired.

Jes's picture
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The little white/yellow lumps you cough up are called Tonsiloliths (tonsil stones). They smell awful and can cause bad breath.

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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Thanks for the input, Jes. I've wondered about those things. They're NASTY!

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

SkipVicious's picture
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yes thanx for the input
i was also wondering what caused those nasty things

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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I just hawked up one that was the size of my pinkie fingernail. It's was nasty!

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

teresa's picture
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what does it mean to have mucous in the poop?

Fart Poopie's picture
j 1000+ points
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That is so very interesting. I've never had mucous come out my butt, nor have I heard of anyone who had mucous come out their butt. Ya learn something new everyday here at PoopReport.

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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I used to think it was impossible, too. Until it happened to me. Antibiotics can cause poop musous (i.e. butt boogers).

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

tHey DoNt uNdeRstanD's picture
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I to have this mucous poop along with painful gas.I just in the last two weeks stopped smokin crank(yea i know gross habit, sik)my lungs were very congested with mucous probably from the damage that the drug had caused and after i stopped i was coughing up alot of mucous and at times swallowing it not having time to discard it sanitarily,so i thought that this was what it was.Hopefully it will diminish with time as long as i stay clean. thanks for having this site, even though it is a disturbing if not gross comment,If it werent for caring people like urself we would be stressed , worried and possibly uninformed.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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i cough up a litle whit thing that smells like shit one every couple of weeks they are not hard or anything it kind of freaks me out i was just wondering if anyone knows what these are and should i be worried

Uglee Chick's picture
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I sometimes fart mucous. It comes unexpected and wets my pants with stickyness. I than go to the bathroom and let her rip. I am concerned about the amount of runny poop and blood...

SamDamnit's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points
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What's happening here is that you are excreting your mind control implants. Every time you doo it, a S.C.A.T. team has to sneak in to your bedroom and replace it. Please refrain from coughing up or expelling your happy pods. They are there for your own protection. How do you think "Friends" became such a popular show?

_______
SamDamnit!
Presidential Overlord
Of Poopreportia
http://www.myspace.com/saintcarnivean

SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan

mott the poople's picture
l 100+ points
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I knew it SD! I thought I got sick of "friends" cause I stopped eating oysters, not from hocking them up.

Asphincter says WHAT...(!)

Asphincter says WHAT...(!)

Anonymous Coward's picture
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They're called poop things because i am a pro at coughing them up!

Anonymous Coward's picture
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I poop mucous all the time. It is really pretty gross. It almost always comes out this way too, which is just weird: I have an episode of a very large loose dump that comes on very quickly with huge cramps (thankfully with quick releif!). About 30-45 minutes after that is over, I feel an overwhelming need to let out what I think will be pure liquid poo. What comes out is a very big (3-4 cm x 1-2 cm) piece of loose mucous.
However, I do see mucous in my poo on a regular basis (>once a week); I have decided it must not be too abnormal if I see it all the time and I am still alive and kicking.

Wee Jock Poo-Pong McPlop's picture
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Oh good, other people with mucus poop! I don't feel so alone. It's only been happening to me this week, and I must admit I've been more bemused than scared by the whole event.
It's apparently a symptom of IBS. Joy!

amIconstipated?'s picture
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I have been suffering from mucus poop, I poop about once a week, and other such IBS-induced symptoms since I can remember; but as I am a silly youth too embarressed to confront parents, does anyone know any legit medical sites that would explain these conditions or constipation conditions in general? googling sites isnt too reassuring cus most of them arent .edu or .gov or .org or anything like that

thanks a lot,
poopless in ny

Oppo Taylor's picture
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I have had similar episodes to much of the above. I have done some recent reading on the subject, at least what I can find. Everything I have read so far tells me about Mucoidal Plaque that builds up over time on the walls of the intestine. The painful cramps are the plaque loosening from the walls. The plaque builds up from not eating enough fiber, and eating too much dairy. If you eat meat, bits of meat do not digest, and get trapped in the plaque. Instead of digesting, the particles 'compost' depending on the bacteria in your intestines. Stop eating so much cheese, especially fake cheese!

Happy Pooping!

Anonymous Coward's picture
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hey poopless in ny--go to www.helpforibs.com (Heather's IBS news etc.) It is a really great site with alot of good info! hope it helps some--it helped me

Relieved on the Crapper's picture
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Thank god for this site, in the last few days i have noticed this weird goop in my poop but only a little bit, but about 15 minutes ago there was a big glob of it and i was freaked out but after ten minutes of various reading Im reassured. Also there are little bits of stuff but that has always been normal; because i have a really, really fast metobolism.

Relieved on the Crapper's picture
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Also in the last 3 weeks i have drank more milk than ever before and ate less fibre then ever before.

IBSer's picture
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Ive had IBS for the last 3 yrs, ive always had mucus in my stool cause normal for ne1. For the last 3 weeks ive had lil more mucus than normal n blood in my stools then this week i started juss havin nothin but mucus, The doctor says its a sign of chron's disease. My best friend has tht n im truly scared cause i kno how much pain shes dealt wit n all the meds. Im on tons of meds now i juss dont wanna take nemore. lol.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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So the mucus is very clear gel-like. If you where to taste it it would be near-flavorless, much like that of a common boggie with the exception of the occasional brown speckel (no less knowing that this substance has been sitting inside of my arse alongside with fecal matter and active bacteria cultures). You can almost picture it floating atop the lipids of your coffee's upper regions greeting your lips as you read this article...

Anonymous Coward's picture
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I have been having regular sessions with a colon hydro-therapist (basically an enema where they hook you up to a machine) and today wispy strands and clumps of mucus were being ejected.

The therapist says this these mucus strands are parasites and that a lot of people have them. Mucus and/or IBS usually involves a parasite infestation. I'm on a herbal and fiber detox program and this is weakening the parasites so they are more readily flushed out.

Parasites live in the intestinal plaque coating intestines which arises from gluten (wheat & white flour) and dairy in our diets.

Try www.blessedherbs.com colon detox, total body or parasite detox programs to eliminate these "visitors". Parasites bloat you up and poison yer body. Juice fasting and hydrotherapy also cures this along with benzonite clay mixed with phyllium husk "shakes".

-- The colo-librarian

GottaGoGirl's picture
i 2000+ points
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Yeah, and chewing 3 Certified California Dustbunnies 2x daily will help, too. Send me a check, and I'll round some up for you.



Since apparently you'll buy anything.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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For those of you coughing up little yellow/white stones they are called tonsil stones or tonsiloliths. Roughly 3% of the population gets them. Basically plaque, food, bacteria, and salivia continually build up in the deep crevices some people have in their tonsils. At a certain point the crevice overflows and this is when you hack them up. There are sprays on the market to combat tonsil stones but the easiest way to solve the problem permanently is to have your tonsils removed. It is a routine surgery that will leave you with a really sore throat for 2-7 days.

healthy 1's picture
j 1000+ points
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The Shit Volcano (3006) -- 03.22.2004
Ew! I have the problem in the other direction. If I eat really starchy food sometimes I'll hack up these little greenish-yellow nuggets that the dogs won't even eat. (Trust me. I gave one to them to see what would happen and they all looked at my like I was crazy.) Haven't asked the doctor about it yet. And, really, why am I talking about it here? It has nothing to do with poop!

TSV, I have the same problem that you have. They get caught in your throat initially right? They are about the size of a grain of rice, right?

As for the asspods. How do you think Alf got to earth?

The ass pods are implanted by aleins, and rely on the body to begin the first phase of life. After they are expelled, they feed off of human waste and hatch into 1/2 alien and 1/2 human life forms. They then find more people to implant with these asspods.
_______
"-55F, a new record low? Nope, thermometer went bad. Looks like -50F still stands"

"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

Poo Keeps Me Up At Night's picture
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I have the problem with very stinky stools and large mucous "asspods." I was kind of freaking out about it, but then I found this on someone's website:

"You can have mucous for a variety of reasons. However, since you know there was lots of gunk in there, and just started an enzymes/probiotic program with help cleaning out the gunk, the mucus can be sloughing off in this process. The alternating stool consistency can also be part of this process. Allow a couple weeks for the bulk of the cleaning out to happen. I know there is the tendency to analyze things on a minute by minute or hour by hour basis, but the transit through the gut can be a matter of hours, days, or weeks. Allow about a week to evaluate changes in diet, supplements, or meds to see the net results (unless there are drastic healthy problems happening, of course)."

I had just started taking probiotics (bifidous and lactobacilus) a few days ago, so this makes sense. Most sites will say this is a bad sign, but I think it's actually good--my body is flushing out all the mucous and bad stuff so i can start digesting normally!

Anonymous Coward's picture
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I have been laughing my ass off reading this site! It is funny to hear all of these great stories! I came across this site in search of some info to help me identify the strange mucus in my poop, and much to my surprise the site answered that question and a few others. I have been asking doctors for over 10 years what this white junk is coming out of crevaces in my throat...tonsil stones!!!!! Not one doctor ever figured it out! I asked one doctor about a tonsilectomy and she said no because there wasn't a medical condition that required it...so what if it makes my breath awful and these things fly out of my mouth occasionally while I am talking to people! I am psychologically scarred from this happening once and landing in someone's food at the dinner table.

It is great to hear from other people who have these issues...thought I was alone until now! Thanks for the info!

Anonymous Coward's picture
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Laugh if you want at the subject matter, but I, too, had the same frightening mucous get eliminated into my underwear at work today, and if it wasn't for finding this website I would be wondering what on earth was happening. I'll look up the blessed herbs website and start a colon detox program. Great advice. We might belong to an odd "club" but I, for one, am grateful I found you all.

Anonymous Vegan's picture
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I feel so relieved! I've been vegetarian for 2 1/2 years, and 2 weeks ago I decided to make the switch to become a vegan. So, I decided to start with a slight cleanse (just eating fruit in the morning and then having only one thing with each meal that was not a raw or slightly cooked vegetable) and 3-4 days after starting, I started to get all this white mucus stuff in my poo and was freaking out. I feel so much more relieved now that I know I'm not alone, and that it's the dairy products being wiped out of my system.

Anonymous Shit Cheese's picture
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Eww, did they eat the Shit Cheese, thats what its called, or Tonsil Stone, basically you get them if you dont brush regularly,If you run your fingers around the gumline of your wisdom teeth and the smell of shit cheese is on your fingertip, you will get Tonsil Stones, its the same amasingly stinky shit matter... Sometimes for the fun of it, I let them grow, just to savor the rank smell, I mean, you could kill a bird in flight just by pointing one at it... Ever got somthing stuck under a nail so bad it leaks puss, thats how bad Shit Cheese stinks... :)

Anonymous Coward's picture
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so, earlier this evening i was having terrible cramps and then explosive diarrhea (sp?) after running to the bathroom a few times, i finally felt relief... but i was still very gassy and farting a good amount. soon after, what i thought was coming out as a fart, was actually a warm mucous-like substance. i quickly ran to the bathroom and pushed out a very painful, but loose and small stool. (keep in mind, i have hemorroids - or at least, i think i do, so painful stools are a regular for me!) the stool had a stringy-like mucous all over it, clear in some spots and light brown in color in others. when i wiped after the mission was accomplished, i had a good amount of mucous. it has an awful odor - a little fishy - and very uncomfortable.

can anyone else relate to this? im guessing this is somewhat normal bc i have read all of your stories of anal mucous... but mine seems a little different.

does yours smell? is it stringy when pooped out in the toilet? attached to your poop??

HELP!

Everybody poops's picture
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I just farted out a big brownish glob of fishy mucus. I was peeing and I farted it out right onto the floor. But it whiped up with just a few tissues. It was really viscus (thick) and it didn't smeel like poop, only a little fishy.

The night before I had an emergency poop but it turned out to be only water, and after this i'm having more small poops.

Reading this I'm not too worried, but still a little worried.

My evil ass is getting the better of me's picture
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For at least a year now I have had mucus in my poops, it's not the fact that I have mucus in my poop that bothers me it's the fact that the smell seeps through my ass. It actually started off as a smell of shit everytime I farted and then progressed into just the smell of this mucus stuff.

It's so embarrassing and it's getting me really depressed. I shower every day (washing my whole body and arse!!) and I know how to wipe my ass properly after a shit so why is this happening to me?

I shit about 3-4 times a day and they're not even full blown shits, they are feeble shits. It starts with excessive sweating of my arse and I can feel my arse-ring getting wet with the mucus building up. Then the stench comes and i go to the toilet.

What can I do to stop this horrible problem I have?

Please help!!

No way.'s picture
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Ok, so I had diarrhea, gross mucous poop (when it wasn't just liquid) and the nasty fish stank. I'm going to brave a colonoscopy (after parasite tests were negative). I'll let you all know what the diagnosis is. Ok, and BTW, I have the tonsil stones too, they aren't cured by tonsil removal always, and irrigation devices really help. If you search for tonsil stones on the net, there's a whole big website and forum dedicated to them and how to deal with them.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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hey, the other day i was out of town with a few close friends. I drank a large amount of alchohol and fell asleep. I woke up in the middle of the night because my stomach hurt really bad. i ran tho the john and farted and only a little bit of white stuff came out. It resembled sperm exactly and I am now freaking out. I would never expect this from my friends, but i did poop what looked like sperm. Also i took antibiotics for a few days before this happened. please tell me it can be mucous.

poops maggee's picture
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This morning I woke up and went to the bathroom to take a leak, and I farted. It was a moderately small fart but I noticed a wet feeling and decided to wipe it with a tissue to find a tissue full of yellow, oily stuff, a little mucus like but more liquid and very yellow. Then I noticed my boxers covered in the stuff and when I pulled them down the yellow stuff dripped onto the floor. I had to wipe a couple of times to get all the stuff off. The strange thing was that for something with such a distinctly yellow color it didnt smell too bad. It had a bit of a smell but not really a distinct shit smell. Just to clarify, this was not shit, I did not shit my pants. It was all from one meak fart but the mess was so strange and gross I threw away the boxers. A few minutes after I decided to shit and when I looked into the bowl out of curiosity for the yellow stuff, the poop was pretty normal and not liquidy, but there was some more of the yellow stuff floating on the water almost oil like. Any clues?

Dr hamburger's picture
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i coughed up one of those white puss things and it smelled like bad breath,, it looked a tiny smushy white pimple puss globule and it was hard,, i still have my tonsils

here we go poopty poo's picture
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I have the yellow moucos in the poop and it seems like it started when I started taking Darviset (not sure on spelling) pain killers. And it happened a second time after another day when I took the pain killer. I notice there is a link on the page called "vicodin problems" . Coincidence? I think not!

Daniella's picture
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Oh, those blobs of mucous with blood are uncomfortable and annoying! I usually fart them out after eating and upper GI pain. Mine are odorless which is good, but I've heard if they do stink, it is a yeast infection in your GI tract.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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hi everyone i am worried because when i i a shit this clear gunge come out with a bit of blood init and it smells horrid has anyone else got this???

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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AC of 01/05/2008...
Nope, you're the only one...good luck with that, maybe join the circus, get in on the side show action...I hear during down times the bearded lady deals a mean table of Texas Hold'em.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

ass snot 2008's picture
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Anal leakage sucks! I had like a king size bag of baked layes last night and then went out drinking. This moring I woke up with a leaking surprise, anal goo, yummy. Does anyone have any remedies for this nasty aliment?

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points
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Agh! You poor thing. Drink a ton of water, eat some oatmeal, and stay away from fake fat.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Boop's picture
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I also have mucus that is attached to my poop, or rarely comes out by itself. It ranges in color from orange/brown to white. And it does stink. I have not clue what it is, my doctor has no answers. Cam anyone help me out?

Anonymous Coward01's picture
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Question about mucous discharge. I had what I'm pretty sure were hemorrhoids last week, and for me the most annoying symptom was a clear-yellowish, sticky mucous discharge. I used moist wipes with aloe doused with Witchhazel to clean the area, and then I dried it and placed a tissue between my butt cheeks to absorb any mucous discharge. The mucous and other symptoms went away for about a week, and then yesterday when I defecated there was some blood -- I think a hemorrhoid popped. Since then, no blood, no pain when I go to the bathroom, but a non-stop flow of the mucous. I wiped it with witchhazel, got some hemorrhoid cream and applied it, and then put on an adult diaper, so I wouldn't have to wipe my butt every hour and make it raw.

Any tips on how to stop the flow of mucous, or do I just have to wait it out? I am eating fiber, drinking fluids, concentrating on not straining when I defecate, etc.

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points
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Normally, I'm not at a loss for words, but that title made my throat go dry, and I'm having trouble standing. I think I will just sit down and have some hot tea with honey and hope it all goes away.

marc's picture
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I have had what i think is mucas coming out for about 3-4 months, but i have these patches of mucas and something that looks like lumps of ear wax.

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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I'm not sure what that could be in your case Marc....but for me, and I had the same experience, it WAS lumps of ear wax, left from when I pulled my head out of my ass. The ordeal was so frightening, I promptly jammed it back in.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points
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Mr. Pump, I have had anal mucous coming out of my ears. Could I have the same problem?

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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Quite possibly, Mr. Doggin, but I don't know which to suggest, an ear, nose, and throat Doc, or a proctologist.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

MajikMan's picture
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For 3 days now, I've had irregular poops. Usually I have man poops, now I have either diarrhea or small poops. Now tonight I shat out a tiny ball of poop, followed by 3 snot clumps. And when I wiped, the paper had gel-like stuff on it. Clear-ish and a faint yellow with little to no smell to it. Why after 25 years of great normal pooping, am I having ass snot? And I have those tonsil stones too. I just pick them out of the crevices with a pointy tweezer.

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points
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MM, there's nothing magic about your life.

Anomalous Coward's picture
k 500+ points
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Alien eggs. No doubt about it. You've been abducted.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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So I've been constipated nearly my entire adult life. But just in the past 7-8 months or so, I've been taking fiber and miralax regularly and it's been helping. However, I've been noticing yellow blobs of stuff in my poop (they're kind of solid but squishy). Today I had a really large one come out so I'm saving it for the doc. My concern is about 7-8 months ago as well, my boyfriend's mom got tapeworms. He was checked and didn't have it, and I don't have any symptoms, in fact tape worms aren't supposed to be yellow either and apparently resemble grains of rice. But maybe I have a different kind of parasite? Yuck...

kcffa's picture
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I have problems with my tonsils and that's why I get those little white/yellow balls of smelly grossness out of my throat. It's reletively normal.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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I noticed I had snot coming out of my rear aswell... It happened a few times for a week. All I did was make sure I was spitting the loogies out my mouth everytime I felt some flem in my throat instead of just swallowing it, I'd spit it out. No more swallowing the flem for me and I haven't had this problem since. If that helps you, glad I can help.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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OMG all this talk about poop has me LOL! please stop focusing so much on bodily functions, it brings up a visual that is just gross.(imagining people studying their poop, ick) If you truly think something is wrong, not quite right, go to the doctor for goodness sakes and get it checked out.

poop obsesser's picture
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thank goodness for this site! most of my day revolves around when i am going to poop and how well it goes. my doc says i have IBS but i rarely seem to have any severe problems with it though i will occasionally get surprise diarrhea even after eating foods that normally dont bother me. its a mystery? anyway, what i do experience is the fact that i will often poop 3-4 times a day, usually a bit soft but nothing to worry about. after i go, often times i will have to go again about 30-45 minutes later but all that will come out is a tiny little poo with a bunch of mucous and sometimes a speck of bright red blood attached. it doesnt hurt or smell or anything but i wonder why it happens and why i poop so much!! am i absorbing my food correctly? am i a poop monster? i dont even eat all that much so where does it come from. when i ask the doc they just say "oh, it sounds like IBS" and then tell me to take some imodium or bentyl when problems flare up. i just want to make sure it is not something more severe like crohn's or diverticulitis. anyone have any ideas? also, my lower intestinal area is constantly gurgling and grumbling, ALL THE TIME! not painful, but embarrassing in quiet or intimate situations. whats this all about????

Anonymous Coward's picture
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this is a great site, i'm a young man who has suffered embarrassing anal problems for years, i've had episodes of roids, anal fissures, leaking mucous, tried various creams, and had a lot of doctors looking up my smelly hairy arse crack, and i wont even mention their fingers!
i get the leaking crap problem all the time, have a dump, wipe my arse, then have to go to the toilet about 3 hours later to wipe my arse again! i've tried elimination diets, removing caffeine, chocolate, yeast, nothing seems to work. at least i'm not alone..

Anonymous Coward's picture
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i have suffered from tonsil stones for years. you cough up chunks that range in size from teeny tiny to tiny. you instantly know it is in your mouth because it is real hard. squeeze it between your fingers and sniff and you will never socialize again. can a doctor scrape it out????? call 949-574-9396

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points
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The phone number is for a boat scraping business in California. You don't have tonsil stones, you have barnacles!


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points
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I was going to suggest reaming out the throat with one of Chief's turpentine soaked corn cobs.

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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PD, that would be a fine idea, if said corncob weren't full of shit and quite a bit of your fake fur suit.
_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

YouguysareGross's picture
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I was told by my N.D. friend not to eat shrimp and scavinger eating creatures because they are plain toxic and turn into mucus in our system. (Meat and Cows milk does also, but not as bad) So I became vegetarian two months ago and my system was fine. Then I decided to eat a Chinese shrimp dish and did I pay for it. That morning when I woke up. I had alot of mucus in my throat and had to hack and cough it up. I pooped it out too. No more toxic scavenger foods for me.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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sometimes i poop normally, sometimes not. sometime i have painful cramps followed by round pellet like craps. often i feel like its a fart trapped in my colon and have to wait for hours to finally squeeze it out, only to discover it is a tiny round peice of crap. it is often followed by mucous. i tried an enema after such an event and shat. about 15 minutes later i felt like i had to shit more, so i go, and after i look in the toilet to discover a ton of mucous. i have since stopped drinking vodka on a nightly basis and started taking fiber and its getting a lot better.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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i just posted but i would like to say to the guy above who talked about smelling it before it comes, i have this problem occasionally too. i dont know if its gas, or the mucous itself, or what. fiber really seems to help. it wouldnt hurt to try some of that yogurt thats supposed to help you shit but i can not recommend it as i have yet to try it.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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For the last few weeks, i've had the same symptoms that many of you are having, a snotty pale translucent-yellow discharge comes out at times where i feel as if i have gas, and sometimes smells horribly scrumptious. what is another name for this? Im willing to bet its a liver function failing for me...I just want to know if me having tasted some will harm me..

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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IF your liver is failing, I don't think it matters much, eat up.
_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

i feel a little better now's picture
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i have been stricken with this mucous poop thing in the past couple of weeks and this site has greatly relieved my nerves. for a while i considered alien abduction or possibly that one of my roommates snuck up to my room one night and did it with me in the butt. but hearing all of these stories make me feel better. because now i know that at least other people are either getting abducted by aliens or having their roommates anally abuse them in their sleep. i am going to have a stool sample with the doctor which so far has been equally halarious/depressing as the thing itself. if i am going to die or something i will let you guys know.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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Ok, I googled this, because it happend twice. Similar to the 'asspod' or 'poopod'.
The first time I thought it was funny and maybe something strange that I ate, the second time it was majorly freaky...
Yes all the poo was relatively the same size and had what appeared to be a milky plastic covering on them with a twisted tail at one end, as if they were wrapped in some opaque saranwrap and twisted off.
I have been having a lot of intestinal discomfort lately, gas and bloating, cramping before I have to go.
I had a colonoskopy last year, because of extreme cramping and they found my intestines to all be very pink and healthy with no signs of colitas or polups or anything of a bad nature.
So if anyone knows for a fact what causes thes asspods... I would love to know.
Im not really about taking a shrink wrapped tird to the doc and say'n 'whats up with my poop man, or am I laying martian eggs here?'

slimy's picture
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I just went to the rest room to find I had explosive diarrhea. I grabbed my chopsticks to look for what I think are mucous strands or clear worms and to my surprise a huge piece of flat mucous came out of me - 12 inches long and 3 inches wide. I have had smaller harder pieces come out a couple of weeks ago after taking metradonizole (sp?). My gynacologist gave the prescription to me as I had been suffering from diarhea for 9 months that started with black hard feces 3 days before my period. Then I started getting diarhea with my period with sweating and nausea and diarhea every morning. My periods got worse and worse and I started having 3 periods a month. I ended up losing my job because I was late everyday while I was on the toilet. I think that the mucous is caused by parasites attaching to the walls of your intestines. I have been drinking fresh coconut juice and fresh pineapple juice and fresh carrot juice and I think this is why all the parasite junk and mucuos is coming out. The Metrodonizole cured the diarhea and even my period got better. Now I am living off yogurt and buttermilk to replenish the flora. Are we sure that these flat mucous excretions are not just parasite wastes. I'm worried but feel better and better everytime that stuff comes out. I'm going to take Ketazonale (sp?) to get rid of the candida now. Kill the parasites, flush the intestines with fiber and juice, replenish the flora, kill the candida and replenish the flora again. And stop going to those dirty restaurant with illegals carrying intestinal parasites, bacteria, and amoebas. The are deadly and contagious. Nothing came up on my tests, but if the Metrodonizole cured the bloody diarhea then if would have to be one of about seven parasites (including H. Pylori and this bacteria killed my girlfriend - she died of stomach cancer. It also causes ulcers in your deodenum.) I hope that it was worms and not the H. Pylori but those stringy mucous clear strands in my feces look like worms to me unless there is some kind of ouzing cyst excreting mucous. Gross. I'm going to keep cleansing and try food grade diatemaceous earth to de-worm at least 3 times a year. Green Walnut, Wormwood and Clove combinations should kill almost all parasites. The antibiotics may have killed it, but it doesn't kill the eggs so they reproduce. The mucous is surely a sign of parasites. CLEANSE!!

New Celiac's picture
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I have recently found out, at the age of 34, that I have Celiac disease. It's an allergy to all wheat products/flours and anything containing wheat gluten. I was having severe bowel problems which I had originally thought to be IBS. I've only been on the Celiac diet for about 2 months, but notice a fairly regular occurance of a white mucousy substance in my stools. I haven't been worried about it since I've been feeling better, but it does make me wonder if there is something else wrong. Glad to see it's a normal thing. I also wanted to spread the word to get tested for Celiac disease if you think you may have IBS or just have any general abdominal discomfort.

Anonymous Coward Hell Yeah's picture
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ahhh i have had this problem with the butt snot for like three days- and once before about two months ago! its so embarrassing/makes me laugh alone in the community bathrooms at my dorm. should i/we be concerned this could be something awful and dangerous? i went to my unversity health center and complained about my freakin butt snot but they were unconcerned, and i had a pee, a blood and a poop (omg worst day of my life) test that came back fine. but eveyrthing i read on the internet makes it sound like this could be anything from alergies to something horrendous!? I guess i will go back to the freaking health center and complain about my poop to the MAN while my subcontious battles between two distinct and very strong urges to both laugh and cry at the same time. meanwhile, is anyone else mildly freaking out?

oh yeah, i forgot to say i keep reading on the internet that colon issues are the most frequently misdiagnosed on something because of the minimal (or lack of?) pain receptors?

SHOULD WE BE WORRIED? i want someone to tell me everything is fine, but they keep telling me and i dont really trust it!

Colitis Perhaps's picture
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Hey New Celiac....how long after you went gluten free did your symptoms clear up? My doctor isn't quite sure if I have Ulcerative Proctitis or Celiacs. I am supposed to have a blood test to determine but I went on a gluten free diet in the meantime to see what would happen. It has been 3 days and I have seen no change.

I can also relate to the slimy farts. The first one I had freaked me out. Now, out of caution I run to the toilet when I have to let a out a big one. I have missed determing whether it would be pure air or not before. Good news is if you're a runner your butt cheeks have much less friction!

Anonymous Coward<--haha's picture
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Okay so I get the same mucus problems in my poop too! It's a rather recent thing though. And it seems like I'm constantly having to poop and its generally diarrhea(painful cramps are often present as well). I've never had this mucus thing before but there was a time when i had diarrhea for like a week or two and it was really bad. The last time I thought it was due to a poor diet.(I wouldnt eat all day and then id scarf down BBQ potato chips). After a while it went away but now its back and oh is it annoying! Besides the fact that this mucus thing is weird, I also don't appreciate having diarrhea ALL THE TIME. Would throwing up a lot cause your digestive system to sort of crash? andd can this be solved by not eating dairy and eating more fiber? PLEASE MAKE THIS GO AWAYYY.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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I strongly suggest some of you see a real doctor. I had the sudden diarrhea that lasted about six weeks. After MANY tests (colonoscopy, upper GI, CT Scan) I have been diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis. It is like Crohn's disease. Those of you with bloody poop, really need to get check.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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well..lately i have been having mucus in my poop..idk wut the problem is..but it stinks very bad..and sometimes its white..or orangey yellow..idk wuts going on

ms. too embarrassed to poop in public bathrooms's picture
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i have the mucus problem. sometimes ill shit out a tiny turd but along with it comes a lot of gooey mucus that has a horrible fishy smell. sometimes i just fart this mucus out. i have never been diagnosed with IBS or anything like that. the other day i also bled when i pooped and it hurt like a bitch too. i had this problem like 6 months ago but it went away and now its back. ive also been having abdominal pain. does anyone know what this is? i mean specifics...

KingandhisThrone's picture
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After googling "mucus like shit fish smelling", I am glad to come across this site and see that I'm not alone. I drank some laxative tea last night and have spent most of the day on the can. But just a few minutes ago, I ripped a big one and got that "Oh shit...I just shit my pants" feeling. After a quick wipe everything was okay but it brought back horrifying memories of a post-grandma bathroom.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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I have been suffering from diarrhea accompanied by bad wind for a few weeks now. Then to make things worse one day I blew off and this mucus came out ewwwwww. I went to see my doctor and he tested my poo for infections which came back clear then I had a blood test for abnormalities and this came back clear. The doctor has had a little poke about up my bum and everything seems ok. The next thing is for me to have a camera up my bum. I was really worried about this and its obviously not nice to have mucus coming out your bum. It seems worse when i have had alcohol, which is great if you have coped off and in the morning you have bad wind, diarrhea and mucus coming flying out (my bedroom is right opposite my bathroom so you cant even quietly sort yourself out). I am wondering if it is stress related coz i am very stressed at the moment and this problem is not helping. The other thing might be my diet which is rubbish, i do not really eat veggies I just eat fatty dairy foods and i go on crumpet binges. Reading everyone elses posts has made me feel a bit better coz I now know im not on my own, its still embarrassing though!!!!!

Anonymous Coward's picture
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though i haven't been diagnosed with ibs, i do have many symptoms of it. i also get the ass snot clumps, but worse is the stinky stanky gross clear mucus with brown flecks in it. the smell is traumatic. last night i farted while at the computer and then felt a wetness in my pants. i thought "oh no, not again", because this would have been the 2nd time in about 2 weeks that this would have happened. sure enough, when i went to the bathroom and checked, the nasty stuff was in my drawers and had managed to get on my asscheeks and genitals as well. i wiped my ass and there was a good amount of the stuff in there. i sat down and finished wiping and then took a shower. this occurence, as well as the smell of the stuff, (someone here described it as fishy, and i guess that's pretty accurate) has got me kind of depressed so i'm really glad that i found this site. on a google search for "anal leakage brown smelly mucus" you all came up first, so congratulations! :P

Richard Simmons best friend's picture
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I have read every comment writen by the people and I say, we all have a problem that needs looking into. I think we should take the advice/ideas that these people have wrote. Eat more fiber,less meat,more vegetable and fruit. Try anything to get that asspodexpellitum or anal mucous out of your system. someone commented that it could be a parasite, I thought the same thing this morning. maybe it is a parasite's wastes or bacteria that has built up along the wall of your intestines. I don't know, but i do know that not all of us have IBS or chrons, and if you still have this Mucous promblem for 30 days don't delay see a doctor. also a few people seem to hint that they were constipated. depending for how long I think constipation could be what cause the problem in the first place.
I thank whom ever made this website it has been most helpful.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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I have recently been having fits of sudden urges to poo. Yesterday, I poo'ed atleast 6 or 7 times. (not satisfying solid poos either, not liquidy though, just very mushy.)Today during school I had to go, very badly. I went, and like normal... gross unsatisying poo. I then went home half an hour later and got the urge to poo again. When I did hardly any poo came out! there was although a nasty clear gel like mucus in the toilet, and when I pushed more, more came out. This is odorless, and scary. :(

Please help?

ps. 16 y.o. Female.

Waz goin on dawgs

Anonymous Coward's picture
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ok so mucous, floaties that look like shit-seaweed, whats up with the after pain that feels like something biting your rectum? and can barely walk?

Dumpalumpagus's picture
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I have recently been having fits of sudden urges to poo. Yesterday, I poo'ed atleast 6 or 7 times. (not satisfying solid poos either, not liquidy though, just very mushy.)Today during school I had to go, very badly. I went, and like normal... gross unsatisying poo. I then went home half an hour later and got the urge to poo again. When I did hardly any poo came out! there was although a nasty clear gel like mucus in the toilet, and when I pushed more, more came out. This is odorless, and scary. :(

Please help?

ps. 16 y.o. Female.

Waz goin on?

El Scumbag's picture
k 500+ points
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Dumpalumpagus, first things first. You are British and therefore you do not have to pay for medical treatment, so go to your doctor if you are worried. Don't expect a site about poo humour to offer you a diagnosis, cure or peace of mind. It won't happen. We try around here, of course we do, but the advice we generally give is to see your doctor. It is probably nothing serious, but your doctor will be pleased to tell you that if it's the case. Trying to find a solution or diagnosis on the internet is futile, so stop wasting time and go first thing in the morning. Ring your GP and insist on seeing someone immediately. As it's the Easter holidays now, you won't be at school so you have no excuse not to do it.

Come back and tell us how it went though. If you get a diagnosis it will help others with this problem and encourage them to do the same.

Good luck! :-)

Dumpalumpagus's picture
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I'm not British, I live in America where health care ISN'T free. I do not have means to get to the doctor, so i sencerly hope it's nothing to be worried about. Thank you for your time and your efforts regaurding my issue!

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
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Dumpalumpagus.......If you are an American you can go to the emergency room of any hospital and receive treatment. You will not be turned down regardless of your ability to pay. The fact that you seem to have a computer leads me to think that your parents could probably afford the 50 or 60 dollars that will get you in to most urgent care centers. In any event you should be seen by a medical professional;
nurse practitioner, physician's assistant or doctor as soon as possible.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

El Scumbag's picture
k 500+ points
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Sorry for the assumption - I assumed you were British because of the way you constructed your sentences, the overuse of 'poo' and the 'waz goin on' all of which are stylistically typical of teens over here. But now, re-reading, you use American spelling on 'odourless' so I shouldn't have made that assumption. Sorry about that.

You still need to see a professional though. I hope it's nothing to worry about. Good luck!

Someone Somewhere's picture
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Oh thank GOD for this website. From around Summer '08 I've had stomach noise and discomfort, wind, and my personal hell the mucous!! I had a rectal examination and blood tests and do not have caeliac or anything sinister - I have been diagnosed with IBS. I have been constipated since I can remember, which I prefer to the opposite which I used to have, but the most horrible thing I have now is that when I've had to go to the loo (yes I'm English, hence the use of the word 'loo' lol) quickly (which is still only consipated stool) an hour later if I go to wee I will get mucous coming out in the form of horrible spluttery farts at the end of it! I'll wipe myself and there's this nasty gel like, yellowy coloured stuff, with sometimes a tiny spot of blood! I hate it, and wonder how I'll ever cope in an intimate relationship now, the mucous is the newest symptom and has not been going on more than six months or so! I absolutely HATE it! My GP has given me antidepressants which apparently sometimes help, but it still happens, usually when I've been stressed. I'm so glad to find I'm not alone. But does anyone get, like me, the mucous on it's own when they wee? That's the worst bit for me!! :-(

nervouspoo's picture
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Hurray for Poop support! I'm so glad I found this site!

Now, I've been through these comments and it seems like poop mucus is a much more common thing than I thought before, so I'm not really worried about having it now. What does scare me is that all I can poop is mucus...I'll be constipated for 2-3weeks at a time and only be able to squeeze out a bunch of liquidy, slimy mucus when I think I'm pooping. It's awful. What can I do to get the real poop out instead of the mucus?

snot fart prince's picture
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I don't know about any of you but I'm lovin this poop snot thing I got going on. My butt is always moist and squishy whether I have to go to the bathroom or snot...I mean not. When I have to fart I hold a tissue down there like I have to sneeze, it's tons of fun. Give me lemons and I'll make snotty lemonade.

Elle's picture
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Wow, I didn't realise there were quite so many people with this problem, or variations on it. That makes me feel a bit better. I didn't think to note it at the time, but a few years ago I started having a little mucus in my poo. But in January of this year I started getting random diarrhea once or twice a week. It lasted a month. Cleared up. I had blood tests which were clear, liver function normal, not cealiac etc. But though the diarrhea hasn't come back, thank god, a few months later, about April, the frequency started going up. I've always gone once to twice a day, sometimes not at all in a day, and now I was going 5 times. One day I freaked when I thought I saw blood in my stool. I rushed to the doc, and after some discussion I'm convinced I didn't, and instead mistook some colouring from a medicine for it instead. However at this point she mentioned that we were reaching the point of a colonoscopy. I was originally diagnosed back in Jan as having IBS, but I went back and was scared. I sent off new poo samples, and she said the next step would be more bloods, some the same, but also including ones not done before.

My top right hand ribcage started aching for a while. And against all medical advice I did start smoking a little to calm me down. Sheer worry was overtaking my days.

The mucus however has increased. As I said it's been there a few years, but it varies between a little some days, not at all others, and quite a lot others. I've recently had a wee flu virus and didn't go for a couple of days. Today I went in the morning, it was kind of ok, maybe a few strands attached as I looked in the bowl. But then I had an urge to go later, and there was quite a lot more mucus than I'm used to. It's gel like, and organgey/brown, sometimes clear. Except this time, for the first time ever, I noticed little white spots of mucus too, or white spots in the mucus. And I hadn't seen that before. I haven't been back to the Doctor in about three weeks, because it was my birthday and the frequency was going back to once/twice a day, and I was feeling a bit better about it. But now... I want to avoid a colonoscopy. I am fearful of needles alone, so something like that would be hugely distressing to me. I've never even taken a laxative in my life, so to have to even do that the day before the procedure, then go in for it itself... I mean, I've cried thinking about it.

So the mucus has increased over a period of time, there was the diarrhea in January, and my stomach makes gurgling noises of the kind it never used to. It's just different somehow.

The Doc wanted to put the frequency down to stress, as there were various events happening at the time. And altho I was under pressure in January, I'd say I've been more stressed in my life and that's not been affected.

All my Doc could say is that the stomach is a very sensitive organ. I've yet to get the poo results, which I think included one for infections. Then, if I want to, it's more bloods, and then depending on what they show up, the dreaded camera up the arse.

Why can't it just function normally like it did for 23 years eh?! Argh!

Overall, whatever this is, I'm scared about how I can possibly date and be in intimate relationships with people if these symptoms flare up. Running out in the middle of a date, being side tracked worrying, even the personal hygiene. It just seems like it would get in the way too much.

I read on one site that there's a theory crohn's is passed as a virus. And I met a guy, and hung out with him, and he's got it. Also, my best mate's dad, he has it. I so don't want it to be that, but I'm just scared. Fear is like my name right now.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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I'm Disabled. So I'm a different story & it's more frustrating....

I Use Bisacodyl every other day to go, it's been fine for 23+ years, I also get a lot of uti's & have taken a lot of antibiotics over the years.....
For 3 weeks now I'd had crap problems, for about almost 2 weeks I went every day, which is crazy for me IE a disabled, slower system, every other day guy - I've gotten back on track but I still suffer from the same issues I've had since this annoyance started & that is..

Occasional Light mucus coming out after My BM day, Then the floowing day I get clear to brown fluid come out, None of all this is of the heavy variety - I Also don't have diarrhea - I also do currently have some type of hernia that a sonogramist said might be a loop of bowel....

I'm going to the doctor tomorrow, I've been eating plain yogurt & taking acidophilus, but might stop since I've been doing so a week or so now....

And there ya go..

L's picture
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ya well only time i actually get white stuff coming out of my butt is wen i go ahead and end up first doing to my self a basic enema and a depending on my mood end up messing around with my anus...usually if the pleasure was just amazingly great ill just get some during the anal play and then if it was just 2 intense then if i forget to clean up properly ill end up like a few hours later or so getting dat urg to fart and wen i do ill end up with my underwear all wet from dat white stuff

poop poop padoo's picture
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WOW, I just found this site, I thought I was all alone with slimy aliens, wasn't a movie about poop snanchers or was that body snachers.
Anyway I have the worst bout with this for at least 3 weeks, today I had the infamious "asspod" sometimes they do look like little creatures yuck, from outer space. due for a colonscopy in 2 mon. with colon cancer in my family its a little unerving. Thanks for all of the input about your output..

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
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poop poop padoo....I wish you the best possible results from your colonoscopy. If you have a history of colon cancer in your family make sure your diet contains lots and lots of fiber.
Eat 100% whole grain breads and lots of complex carbohydrates like broccoli. I have also read that an apple a day is a great idea since the pectin they contain helps bind carcinogens in the colon, they taste good too. Once again..good luck.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points
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Chief, that was a truely thoughtful and helpful post. Are you ok?

Constipated Vacationer's picture
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Recently when I travel and I'm away from home, I get constipated (this isn't unusual for me) but now, I have yellow mucus, instead of stool. On my last travel, I sharted, then when I got home and was able to poop, it looked like milk chocolate and white chocolate blended together. I still can't empty out completely. I just got little bits at a time. I've had one good poo, after a 6 day vacation. If I take anything with a stimulant in it to help me go, I get the vagus nerve reflex and nearly faint, feel like I'm going to throw up and get hot and sweaty, then cold chills...it sucks!!
What can I do to avoid this when I travel. I've tried taking colon cleansers everynight at bedtime while away and still nothing, except yellow mucus. I hate vacation constipation.

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
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PD, are YOU okay. It is unusual for you to show concern for a MALE felloow poopreporter.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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SP, Prarie often e-mails me sweet nothings.

er...wait...nope....just nothing.


_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
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Lol.Mister Pump. I made it so you can contact me now, Mister Pump.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Holsie's Ballsie's picture
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AYY--last 3 months have been hell. Gastro-intestinal problems up the wazoo.
Has anyone happened to poop a few GREEN PODS? that are OBVIOUSLY not food-related....and when you look up Gallstones on Google-Images they look exactly like those...

Oh and btw, I'm only 18 years old.

Love and kissies

Anonymous Coward's picture
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So, I'm not the only one who has been having this mucus problem. Mine started about two weeks ago, a little at first. Mostly clear to yellowish, gel-like or stringy, and sinks to the bottom of the toilet. About two tablespoons squeezes itself out before bowel movements, but sometimes after. When I wipe, it's there in all its snotty-looking mustardy-yellow glory.

Since the damn thing is stringy, and rather alien-looking, at first I entertained the thought it might be some sort of parasite I was expelling. Like a tapeworm. Or some other ingested stuff that didn't belong in my intestines (all that sushi in the previous weeks, maybe some worm eggs were in the fish or something.) But, I pulled the mucus out of the bowl, and did a good amount of inspecting with chopsticks in hand (no, I didn't use them for sushi again in future, they were disposed of)...and the goopy stuff was most definitely mucus, and not some sort of parasite, it was not solid, it was gelatinous and nasty. I did my best to forget about the whole thing.

Then I called up my mom, as the days went on, and I was getting this mucus twice a day. I'm perpetually constipated, so the fact I was crapping at all made me happy (though the mucus did not). I called her because she had colon cancer, as did her mom, and it killed my grandmother back in the days before chemo. Anyway, I wanted to ask mom if she had mucus problems pre-cancer. She said yes. But, she didn't have it with her cancer. She said she would get the mucus years ago when her internal hemorrhoids were acting up. A few years ago, a doc told me I had internal ones (along with external that make life a misery every few years).

So, what I think it boils down to, is that I started crapping more than normal, was straining, irritated the internal hemorrhoids, and they started producing that occasionally fishy-smelling mucus. I got a bad flare up of the damn hemorrhoids, and after a week of preparation H, everything is returning to normal, but now I'm having a ton of mucus I think as my rectum is trying to heal. The buildup of mucus in my rectum is making me think I have to crap, so I run to the bathroom, strain, and the only thing that comes out is this mucus. And then the hemorrhoids are irritated again. Vicious cycle.

So, I thought I'd share this, wondering if some of you might have what I have and it's attributed to internal hemorrhoid problems(?). Good luck.

If this doesn't clear up, and if I get a fever, I'm going to the doctor this week. As a side note, I was on a strong antibiotic, clindamycin, recently. Clindamycin is apparently known for causing Clostridium difficile-associated diarrhea, and pseudomembranous colitis.

Good luck, all, and thanks for sharing your stories, made me feel better I'm not alone.

healthjunkie's picture
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Oh at last! I found a site that has hundreds of people having the same problem as I do. Mucous in my poop. The first time, which was yesterday, it scared me. i thought it was coming out of my vagina, then i realized it was coming out of my butt! So many thoughts ran through my head. "I knew butt sex was not a good thing!" Now I have torn or ripped something up in there! then I thought, heck, people have been having butt sex for centuries! cant be it! after reading what you all have wrote, i am convinced i have either a parasite from that hot tub i was in not too long ago, or an infection, like yeast and my flora is all messed up. At any rate, I feel so much better to know how common it is. making me believe even more, it is exactly what I suspect. I am going to eat yogurt, juice and some all fibre cereal and see what happens! I will keep ya posted. Oh by the way, my poo has always been normal. the day I noticed something different, was when i saw this slimey snot like stuff that had some blood in it, wrapped around my stool. I picked it up, yea, I know how gross, but i was concerned. and it had the smell of death! I swear, it was awful. ever since I have been on the internet trying to figure out what the heck it is, and now, thanks to this site, i think i know. if within a week, it is still here, i will see a dr and get back with you all! take care.

healthjunkie's picture
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Relax! people, Relax! I had all the symptoms that you are having. Mucus, blood, and the foul smell. Went to the ER and they told me I had "colitis" A food-born illness, that has caused my large intestine to become irritated. It is a bacteria that is most commonly found in food, and can be cleared up with Antibiotics. SO relax!!! You may have something more serious, but my guess is, it is Colitis. If you are having these same symptoms, see a Dr. and he/she will probably tell you the same thing. Good luck!

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
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Smart healthjunkie.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

MedFuzz's picture
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Hey there,

The presence of mucus in stool/poop is related to parasites - normally worms and protozoans like amoebas. It's treatable, so all you have to do is visit a doctor, run some medical tests (normally stool check) and get your diagnosis.

And no worries, parasite infections are extremely common. Most women tend to suffer from it more than men, particularly yeast infections around the vaginal area. Intense itching around the anus at night especially is often related to worms (pinworms to be exact) sneaking out of the anus to lay eggs around the rectal skin, hence the itchiness, rashes, lack of sleep and increased susceptibility towards yeast infections.

Mucus balls in the stool is often related to Roundworm deposits. If you have massive digestive problems, go check up with a doc and run some tests immediately because you might have some massive parasite infestation for years.

ms. it all happens to me's picture
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im looking for some answers! im a 22yr old female & for the past 4-5 days i have been in serious pain.. i get these stomache cramps that feel like contractions and it feels like i have to poop urgently. I run to the toilet nd push but only mucus is coming out. It has been 4days of what feels like living on the toilet with a stomach ache:( Usually after the mucus is expelled i feel fine for about 20mins til the cramps start again and more mucus!! About once a day there will be poop but its covered in mucus as well. I made an appointment for the doctor bc this doesnt seem normal at all but he couldn't take me for a few days so here i am.. anybody think im dieing? cus i sure feel like I am! :(

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
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ms. it, it sounds like you might have a fecal impaction. For that you might want to take 2 fleets enemas to get the big motha out then drink a couple of bottles of magnesium citrate back to back on a morning when you can stay home to poop. Oh and you are not dying.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Anonymous Coward's picture
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I have had GI problems since Feb 2009 and they all started after I had sex with this chick.
My small intestines just rumble and growl all the time and when I try to take a shit they moan and groan.
My bowel is a mess sometimes I shit and It's immediate and then other times it like the olympics.
I've been getting quite abit of poo snot alot lately too.
I've been to 4 different doctors and had tests for HIV and Celiacs but apparently I have neither.
I go for No2's and my whole GI reacts the only thing I've been told I have is IBS.
It's F*$ked I want my health back and I want to be regular again I am so fed up.

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points
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AC, sorry to inform you, but you have cooties.

Shittymomma's picture
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ok im a single mom w two little boys.. I worked as an lna when me and my toddler began having mucus in our fecal matter.. I was terrified it may have been c-dif id inadvertently contracted at the nursing home i was working for and givin it to my son. So i quit. we were tested for c-dif and dont have it.. Our poop issues seemed to clear themselves up but last night i changed my sons diaper and to my horror saw yellow clear and what looked like blood filled sacs/worms?? As gross as it sounds i examined them as close as i dare (after all this is my child health!) after close examination im ninty percent sure they wernt worms or any living matter. I have been experiancing mucus being expelled out of my rectum for a while.. But I also engage in anal intercourse so i just figured it was residual cum.. I know its gross, but its honest.. I ALSO HAVE TONSIL STONES! i clean them out with a Q-tip and have for YEARS!! i am also dieting.. What is going on with my family?? How is it my son and I are both experiancing this but the baby and my boyfriend arnt?? Granted my man could be lying but i change the baby so theres no hiding it if he was too! Both of my boys have recently seen a doctor and got clean bills of health.. The pediatrician dismissed my concern sayin poop always looks odd in a diaper! I was too embarassed to share my plight with him! HELP!

Shittymomma's picture
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hey home remidy for parisites and gi issues.. Make a tea w black wallnut hulls, cloves, and wormwood!!! And wash n disinfect ur house frequently!! Take ur shoes off at the door to keep outside germs from spreadin through ur house n ecoli is commonly spread on shared salt n pepper shakers!! Nfw right?? So use hand sanitizer on the outside and top of ur shakers before each meal to help keep ur poop friendly!!

Woolly poo's picture
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I too have tangles of white woollen looking mucous in my poo, and tonsil poo - are the two things linked. Only mucous poo people have tonsil poo? I have never met anyone who confessed to either of these conditions, and although I have had them for years have only now happily stumbled on this reassuring site

Anonymous Coward's picture
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I have been having poo problems for several weeks. Sometimes I feel like I have to go, urgently, and all I get is a bloody fart with mucus balls. I did have a doctor appointment today and am having a colonoscopy Monday. He think it sounds like IBS. I will report back and let you know. Anyway, I don't think I'd worry too much about butt snot, but it's the blood that has me worried.

IBS NO MORE's picture
k 500+ points
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If anything other than well-formed, clean-wiping, easy-sliding turds come out of your butt, you SHOULD be worried. These are clear signs that you are in a toxic state and need to detox; otherwise the problems multiply and get worse as time goes on.

The good news is you can fix whatever ails you, with nothing more than good ol' FOOD!

One of the first things anyone with heinous digestive disorders can try is to keep carbs separate from proteins at all times. This means if you are going to eat some meat, don't have anything sweet with it, and don't eat any type of grains or starchy vegetables in that same meal either. Also consume these types of foods separately by at least 3 hours.

Often this one change alone will resolve most digestive issues almost immediately. Beyond that, seriously increasing intake of raw fresh fruits and veggies, and dramatically decreasing consumption of starches and proteins, will help keep you from ever having these problems again.

Read the book linked below for more information.
_______
Open your eyes AND your mind to the power of food!
Health via Food (scroll down to read by chapter)

When you say the word “poop,” your mouth makes the same motion your butthole does when pooping…
The same can be said for the phrase “explosive diarrhea.”

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points
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Ah Shit! You mean I can't eat my favorite hot fudge rib eye steak anymore? Life's not worth living.

Bilgepump's picture
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Relax PD...you can still have that, as long as you get the marshmallow glaze and the caramel/nut coating on it.

_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

spotted_pooper's picture
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Woolly poo, no I don't think the conditions are related. I supposedly have IBS, but am going to have to get a colonoscopy and endoscopy since now I have a bloody (literally) anal fissure. But I have never had tonsil stones or even any problems with my tonsils, and I've even had to have my adenoids out. Do those of you with the tonsil stones still have your adenoids?

IBS NO MORE's picture
k 500+ points
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SpottedPooper -- I've had tonsilloliths, and I still have all my natural-born parts.

Sorry to hear about your anal fissure. I can't imagine how that must hurt, but I can tell you how to heal it quickly: fasting.

Brock Lesnar recently found out how quickly fasting can heal nasty digestive disorders. It wasn't a "miracle cure," it was the lack of solid food that allowed his body to heal itself of diverticulitis. (Keep an eye on him, though... if he does not change his diet to continue the healing--which he probably won't--the diverticulitis will return or something worse will take its place, just watch.)

For anyone with any kind of digestive pain, fasting until you feel better, followed by slowly reintroducing whole natural foods over a period of several weeks, is the quickest way to permanent healing.

If you're afraid to go without solid food for any real length of time, then simply separating carbs from proteins can help relieve the pain and begin healing the damage. This one simple change also can instantly resolve most digestive disorders, including IBS.

Beyond that, eating a lot more fresh fruits and veggies and a lot less of everything else (at 4:1 ratio) over time will completely heal all your internal health problems.

Eating incorrectly over time causes our health problems in the first place. Eating correctly heals them, and about 20-25% faster than it took for the problems to develop.

Please read the book linked below for more information.
_______
Open your eyes AND your mind to the power of food!
Health via Food (scroll down to read by chapter)

When you say the word “poop,” your mouth makes the same motion your butthole does when pooping…
The same can be said for the phrase “explosive diarrhea.”

Anonymous Coward's picture
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What is the mucous that is always in and around my hole? It's like I am producing my own lube! It's clear but has a bit of a smell. WTF is it? Can someone please explain? Thanks.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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While I am pleased that SO many people feel reassured by stories of other people's butt goo, you really need to evaluate your own individual situation. There are a ton of reasons for mucous in stool, and some of them are definitely worth looking into.

Okay, so from what I understand from a parasitology class, which makes me no professional, is that some intestinal parasites do increase mucous production, but they aren't magical parasites from your pseudo-scientific colon lady. And you can see them. If you have small, whitish or semi-transparent worms (about a centimeter long) coming out of your anus in mucousy discharges, then you likely have pin worms. Congratulations, you are the proud member of the fecal-oral contamination club. FYI, you also probably have a very itchy butt hole at night because those lovelies crawl, fly, or teleport out of you in order to make sweet, sweet love and babies.

This is a half-lie because I don't remember if pin worms mate. I'm guessing not, but I enjoy the imagery.

If you have tiny amounts of blood (should be bright red) and mucous, then you most likely have anal fissures, or tiny tears in the lining of your intestines. Unfortunately, ulcerative colitis is also a cause of butt mucous and fissures, so you may want to check that out if you have continuing or repetitive problems.

Mucous discharge is a symptom (or is it a sign? I always get the two terms confused) of bacterial goings on. Basically, something gets out of whack in your innards, which is totally a real word btw, and bacteria make little colonies and villages. They have a party in your pants. And they lead to lots and lots of stinky gooeyness. And probably some cramping, too. Or gas. Or something else unpleasant. Fortunately, this butt goo doesn't usually require medical intervention. But you are still equally gross.

There is the potential for bowel obstructions and crohn's disease. With bowel obstructions, you'll have mucous, stomach distention, vomiting. You'll also be obstructed, which is to say you won't be pooping or pooping very little. I imagine this is terrible.

Crohn's disease has to do with inflammation, I think, and is god awful by all accounts. It's not something you'll catch from other Crohn's suffers, though, so don't go avoid the afflicted.

Anyway, I'm not saying all of this to terrify anyone, because chances are you are all fine and/or infected by alien pods, but I thought it was important to point out that just because you have a common symptom with a stranger on a weirdly fun site doesn't mean that you have the exact same illness, or lack there of, as them.

Oh, and if you have pin worms, and lots of people do, don't freak. They're mostly harmless and lots of children get them because children are vile creatures that don't wash properly and enjoy putting their grimy little fingers in places they don't belong. But you will probably need to see a doctor to resolve the issue. Of the worm parasites, not the child parasites. Those can't legally be gotten rid of so it's best just to keep a safe distance.

Cheez ball's picture
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The little white things are dead bacteria filtered through your tonsils and throat. It is an ongoing problem with me and my brothers and they do smell like rotten azz cheese. Disgusting!

Not So Shitty Weirdo's picture
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My only problem with pooping is only that I don't do it enough.. =\ Oh well.... As for the white/yellowish stuff bein coughed up? It's nothing to worry about. I cough up one or two once in a blue moon..yeah not often lucky me... =\ They're plaque, bacteria, remaining food that didn't go down the throat, and if you have a long enough pinky nail and good control of your gag reflex you can pick 'em out just like a booger yes I've done it. You can help yourself by gargling mouthwash often and brushing your teeth AND the back of your tongue properly. Mhmm yes you can. If you hack up some mucous in the process GOOD FOR YOU! ^_^ It wasn't meant to stay where it was. Good riddance.

It's also a sign (sometimes) of getting sick. Every time I coughed some up or checked out my tonsils in the mirror and see a few lodged in them, I end up sick within the week..but that's just me so far.. yes I AM weird keep good distance... :|

~Happy shitting :D

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points
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Dude, you should go to Youtube and search the term tonsiliths. You are not alone.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Lovely's picture
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The lumpy white mucous is Candida. An overgrowth of yeast, which is why it occurs from antibiotics.

Anonymous gorgeous's picture
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i have this whitish gunge coming from my vagina now and then,it dosent smell but im worried about me!can anyone tell me whats wrong?

Anonymous Coward's picture
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what happens to people who hold in their poop?

Anonymous Coward's picture
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for all of you who claim to be coughing up white balls that smell badly, if you still have your tonsils, that could be the cause. There are little pockets in your tonsils, and these white 'stones' develop in there, you can watch extraction videos on youtube. they smell terrible..

Anonymous Coward's picture
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This has been happening for a while now, and its really strange and makes me wonder what's going on: I have tons of yellow stuff in my poo, and it looks like corn..obviously its not actually corn because it happens way more often than I eat corn. Any answers or ideas??

Anonymous Coward's picture
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Ok so here is the deal. I feel terribly for people who have to suffer through this. I have had bouts of it on and off and it is incredibly frustrating. So I understand. First, mucus is something that should be looked into by a G.I. Mucus on it's own is not an alarming symptom, however, if accompanied by bleeding, weight loss, and cramping (these are more serious symptoms) should always be evaluated by a pro to make sure you aren't overlooking Crohns or IBD or Celiac (Celiac is a special blood test for gluten intolerance). Many people claim they are gluten intolerant but really, are not. If you were you would test positive for Celiac. Get your stool checked for parasite and ovum and for C.Diff (it's rare but should be ruled out). Secondly, blood work should be done to check for inflammation, as should the liver be checked. If your scope and barrium tests come back clear you will be given a diagnosis of IBS. Which, incidentally, affects a lot of people and is probably the cause (sometimes the blood in the mucus is the result of hemmoroids, or a fissure, if it is just a small amount). If you have a diagnosis of IBS avoid ADVIL or any other NSAID, as well as asprin. These will cause things to get worse. The only over the counter pain med you should take is tylenol. Next, for those with IBS-D, get a good insoluble fiber supplement and ask your doctor about a drug called Cholestyramine (Questran), it is a resin used for lowering cholestoral but it can work miracles for IBS-D symptoms. In fact it rid me of the mucus problem immediately. Sometimes it is a matter of slowing the intestinal track down and that is what this medication does. Some think that IBS-D like symptoms can be coming from a small intestine that does not deal with bile salts/acids properly and they pass through into the lower intestine and thus irritate the mucosa. Cholestyramine (Questran) absorbs these before they hit the lower intestine.
For those who are constipated: exercise and water. The mucus may be being secreted to make the stool easier to void.
If you are lactose intolerant it will create mucus. Many are incredibly sensitive to even small amounts of lactose -if you are like me you can't even have yogurt -and stay away from deli meats because many of them use lactose as a binder. In fact most processed foods do. Next, adjust your diet by avoiding raw veg and fruit. Always go for cooked. When things stabilize a bit, slowly introduce a good probiotic. Tuzen is good.
Most importantly, get checked out by your doctor, preferably a G.I.
Avoid liver cleanses and colon cleanses. My G.I. said he sees a lot of people that come in with liver damage because they have done cleanses. These concoctions are not standardized and do not always do what they say they will. They make promises on the bottle that have not been evaluated by the FDA --mostly you are just wasting your money here and possibly making things worse.
Lastly, try cognitive behavioral therapy along with hypnosis to help you cope with the problem and prevent it from upsetting your life too much. Hypnosis has worked wonders in clinical trials. You can't control what happens to you but you can control the way you react to it.
Your body will heal -that is what bodies do over time. Just add water, and lots of it and be patient with yourself. CBT can also get at some underlying emotional/psych issues that may be continuing or worsening the cycle of symptoms.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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For those with IBS or other intestinal disorders - couple simple things that really help the digestive system are Apple Cider Vinegar (raw, unfiltered, organic etc. something like BRAGG'S brand) and pure unrefined virgin Coconut Oil (again, unprocessed etc - gotta be cold pressed, pure, raw, etc)

just a teaspoon of the apple cider vinegar, its strong by itself, would probably make you puke lol) mixed in a glass of water 2x a day can help, and 1-3 tablespoons of coconut oil. The alkaline quality of the vinegar helps in balancing your PH, and the coconut oil has amazing acids and fats that kill candida, and the bad bacteria brewing in your gut - but don't kill the good bacteria.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
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Dear AC ... I must question your statement that, "The alkaline quality of the vinegar helps in balancing your PH." While it is a very healthful product, vinegar is acidic (it is a solution of 4-6% acetic acid).


_______
Dirty old men need love too!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Anonymous Coward's picture
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There is no proof that PH levels have anything to do with IBS. As far as candida is concerned, if you had any kind of systemic overgrowth of yeast (candida) you would know it for certain because it would present as a case of oral thrush. So for those of you who want to waste time and money treating mysterious, dubious and unproven medical conditions go right ahead, but you may in fact make your symptoms worse (My gastro told me he sees a lot of people come into his office with liver damage from doing cleanses that their nature-paths prescribed, so be careful of what information you give credence to, and what products you try or advice you take because of it). Western medicine can't cure everything, nor does it claim to understand everything but it is far more clinical than any system of "traditional" medicine because of rigorous research and testing. You have to understand, "natural" remedies still have side effects and if taken in the wrong doses, can be poisonous.

If you are looking for natural products that can help IBS: there is some evidence that blueberries (blueberry tea steeped from dried blueberries yourself, or 100% natural blueberry juice) can help with low grade inflammation as can fish oil (omega 3, but make sure it is enteric coated). Peppermint oil (again make sure it is enteric coated) is a first line defense and a good probiotic combo (bifidus and Lactobacillus). Again, I say "some evidence" because none of this has been satisfactorily studied to any great extent.

Cider vinegar, although acidic it does turn to a base (alkaline) when you body processes it, much like lemon or lime, however, I would warn you that it is an irritant much the same way that aloe juice is classified as a harsh irritant. Coconut oil has many health benefits but if you have IBS you know that fatty foods will make you sick because they trigger strong gastrocolonic reflexes. I think you are rolling the dice if you try a remedy using apple cider vinegar and coconut oil and may possibly make things worse. If you do decide to try it be cautious and go slowly.