I've noticed some of my poop looking like popular religious figures, but my digital cam never captures it properly. How can I increase my photo quality?

Billy,

Thanks for the question!

How I admire you artistic types! My poop, no matter how hard I try, only looks like logs. Sometimes it is runny, though. But never does it look like popular religious figures.

Perhaps you should take some sculpting classes. I imagine a constipated crap would make for better cohesiveness, and you could simply (while some would consider it cheating) form a "Pope Poop" after the fact rather than trying to twist your colon whilst the deed is in progress.

Skillfully done, few would be able to tell the difference even with the cheapest of digital cameras.

Send the pictures! I'm sure Dave will put them right on the front page!

Please be advised that I am only a Poonurse. I am NOT a medical doctor. Any advice I give should be taken moderate skepticism. Please consult a REAL medical doctor if you feel you have a serious medical condition.

-- Poonurse

Poonurse is an RN with 25 years experience in labor and delivery. Her qualifications include seeing a lot of poop, and owning a computer. Also, she works in Michigan, which she calls the asshole of the universe, so that's another bit of credibility. Got a question for her?