poop won't go all the way out

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j 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb
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Problmaticer asks:

When I poop, I can't go all the way. I usually end up with poop stuck on my anus; and I really don't want to strain. This leads to endless wiping. I've fought this matter for while now... it's getting tiring, and I realy urge for a solution.





Dear Problmaticer,

Sigh.

You'll have to provide more details. What do you eat on a typical day? How much fiber are you getting? How much water do you drink?

Just offhand, I would suggest some heaping helpings of Metamucil, mixed with PLENTY of water, taken several times a day for a while. See if it helps.

Also-try leaning forward as far as you can while "going." Sometimes for reasons only known to the universe, this helps.

But do try the Metamucil. I am becoming quite enamored of it -- somewhat like a crack whore, but jonesing for the fiber...

Please be advised that I am only a Poonurse. I am NOT a medical doctor. Any advice I give should be taken moderate skepticism. Please consult a REAL medical doctor if you feel you have a serious medical condition.

-- Poonurse

Poonurse is an RN with 25 years experience in labor and delivery. Her qualifications include seeing a lot of poop, and owning a computer. Also, she works in Michigan, which she calls the asshole of the universe, so that's another bit of credibility.

Got a question for her?












232 Comments on "poop won't go all the way out"

Anonymous's picture

You are an idiot. Do not go to a quackapractor, go to a real doctor.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Well anonymous, You have really fucked up. If you were part way there today you should have gone ahead, gritted your teeth, and forced the turd from your ass. It will only be harder tomorrow.

Maybe the suction of the steel commode in the plane will help unplug your balloon knot. Perhaps when other disgruntled passengers notice the stench coming from your impacted rectum and hurl you from the plane, the impact with the ground after a 30,000 foot fall will loosen your bowels.

Good luck.

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Anonymous's picture

Today I really needed to poop. I was sitting there for ages. The turd would come out and really hurt, then it would stop, then it would push out more, and then stop. Finally I gave up and sucked it right back up because it was too hard and painful and wouldn't budge!

I hear fibre and lots of water and prunes work but what if they don't? I'm going on an eleven hour plane journey tomorrow and I do not want to be constipated then. Help!

Anonymous's picture

If you mean you pee when you poop even if you just peed then yes, it happens to me all the time. It actually just did!

Anonymous's picture

Take lots of fiber and drink 8 glasses of water every day. Poop is soft but will not come out. I got this plan from another board. But a box of rubber gloves from a drug store and a jar of vaseline. Put on one glove, put a coat of vaseline on two first finger of glove (not thumb) Insert one finger into anus and go around the outside of the poo. Then start to pull it out. Sometimes you have to use two fingers. But gently keep at it and pretty soon all the poo in the rectum is out and quite clean. This allows the bowls to fill the rectum again and starts getting things moving. If the poo is very soft you may have to work at it a little longer but reach as far down as you can. But we gentle. It will all come out and not hangers on.

Anonymous's picture

Listen to me: I just had this problem and I was thinking no one on this forum knows how bad mine is. So I got a bottle of water chugged it and waited 30 minutes. Then I got on the toilet and kept pushing sucking in and squeezing my cheeks.

This part is mandatory: You must squat with your feet on the seat, It is a must. Then push that beast hard, but relax, and it will come out so easy (not really) with just slight pain -- but nothing unbearable -- maybe a super tiny bit of blood. Don't worry if you see that on your turd. Good luck. Also, if you have alcohol around I would suggest you drink it, because I had this problem twice and the first time wasn't so bad when I was hammered.

Anonymous's picture

I had sex and this happened.

Anonymous's picture

Put water up your anus.

Phooey's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

I have that problem - occasionally there it is, ready to go, yet seems to pressing on the wrong door, right between the anus and the vagina. This door is closed, my friend! So what can you do ? I press, seems logical ,and out it comes.This is probably some dire condition like a prolapse, but it works.

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

I really wanted to respond to this comment and the one above it. I would have approved all of the posts that this author submitted to this thread, but after reading four of them I realized that they all had the same, rambling remarks. I think there seven or eight in all. These two represented the most information and sentiment.

First of all, no doctor is going to promise a solution in writing; this would be asking someone who already pays massive malpractice insurance (which is what is causing our health care bills to skyrocket) to guarantee that he or she is going to cure you with the first trial of treatment. This is, no offense, crazy to suggest. What if the doctor has to treat a patient with a process of elimination of treatments? Many times that a doctor addresses an issue he or she has to arrive at a solution by the process of whittling down what is wrong, ruling out the most common issues, and then concentrating on smaller and smaller areas of possible dysfunction or illness.

Second, fiber would not logically cause tar poop; tar poop is caused by absolutely no fiber or by upper gastrointestinal tract bleeding. Tar poop looks like, well, road tar, and it is impossible to wipe off. If fiber caused it, then I don't think the the texture would not be tarry.

As long as I've been on this site, I have read countless (and I mean too many to count) testimonial from people who have stopped eating fast food and starting replacing at least one meal a day with fruit or vegetables, and their poops ended up being normal poop, with clean up being easy. If you someone thinks he or she has tears in the digestive tract from fiber then that person must be either overdosing on it on the fiber amount, not drinking enough water to soften the fiber, or have diverticulitis or some other condition. I feel badly for this commenter, but what he or she is describing is nowhere near the normal results that we've seen on this site. I have to believe that something else is causing the issue based on our experiences here.

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Anonymous's picture

People are suffering and they already tried fiber and they are already on a good diet. Nobody needs to be told to stop eating McDs. Fiber causes tar and stickiness that tears skin and causes fissures and tears. Loose burns but is easier to pass. Either way the pain is unreal. Its been seven years and the docs will sell you procedures unneeded then let you go. Zen Pep and Cholesteryne are a joke and a scam. Reglan is as well. I have pain with loose,pain with sticky, but pain all the time. Docs are using meds as a way of testing! Don't allow that by any means!!!!!!!!!!!!Ask for test results that justify treatments other than them simply guessing. They say if this med works,then that was the problem,and that can cause damage not reparable . Don't trust them as they are now salesmen for the drug makers. Ask each doctor if he is a paid consultant for the Phrma who makes the med,and don't leave without the answer in writing!

Anonymous's picture

Not true. Fiber adds bulk and makes it more tar like causing anal tears,or fissures. If no gall bladder,you are hurting people with that advice.

Anonymous's picture

I had fluid poop,and it burnt so bad,and it was ten or more times per day. I took probiotics and it got hard and will not pass without ripping my skin,like tar. I am in so much pain that I am disabled! Doctors go through their protocol but stop when it gets beyond their ability and act as if they did something. They will not write a diagnosis or prognosis either. I want my diagnosis in writing!

Anonymous's picture

Its your diet. I have been staying at a hotel out of town for weeks on end for a business trip and I have been eating a LOT of crap. Take out foods, pizza, cafeteria foods etc, and I started noticing the same problem. Sticky, mushy, wiping for years. Sucks. Fix your diet, cut out the fats and eat vegetables, fruits, water, fiber!

Anonymous's picture

I have an irritating constipation. Is it normal that when I strain pee does also go out even if I had already peed?

Anonymous's picture

Ok, I had similar problem, I couldn't poo, it was stuck in there. It just wouldn't come out! I was freaked out, because it also bled some. So I checked out this website, i started my coffee, took few sips, & thought of taking a hot shower. So i took a really long hot shower, & after my shower it just naturally came out. It hurt, but it wasn't much longer of sitting on toilet, since i was stuck on toilet for 2 hours before the shower. SO DEF TRY A LONG HOT SHOWER!

Anonymous's picture

I am in stitches over this site..I too have BM problem otherwise I would never have found you..I have found that Probiotic Enzymes with every meal is the trick. We just do not digest our food well and no wonder with all the crap we eat...pardon the pun...LOL..Love this site..LOL>.

Anonymous's picture

Hi everyone, I just want to say that I had a 3 day constipation once, and it was sudden. I was able to get it out with suppositories after crapping what was 3 of my normal poops that was twice my width. I went to check with a chiropractor after seeing a post somewhere that a person was constipated and once the chiropractor fixed his lowered back he was able to use the bathroom better. It turns out that your spine may be "sublaxated" which my block or severe the nerves that may control your bowels. After get it fixed, my ability to poop has been so smooth. If you guys tried so many of this doctor bs and it doesnt help go to a chiropractor to see if your lower back is out of alignment which may mean digestive problems such as your ability to POOP!

Anonymous's picture

Take dr schulze intestinal formula no 1 --1 800 herb doc

Anonymous's picture

For ladies who have trouble pooping and stops after you have the urge to go. You probably have a tipped vagina which mechanically blocks the poop from coming out. Your vagina is leaning backwards (instead of the normal position) and is cutting off the shit pipe. Get to a gynecologist and she/he will confirm this! Still, try the extra fiber (All Bran) and more water, also take the Metamucil with lots of water, and Colace pills, Aloe Vera pills, Senna Xtra, Magic Bullet suppositores and you WILL SHIT! GUARANTEED! Works for me. Just be consistent. Go, soon as you get the urge - do not wait. Good Luck. Shit well!!

Anonymous's picture

Okay, so I will tell a day in the life of how it is to poop for me. I shit about three times a day. Probably even more if I dont hold it in. Everyday I wake up I poop. Sometimes i dont need to go but it comes out anyways and it makes. my stomach kinda hurt more than before i went. After i would take my first shit in the morning, most times it woul get a liitle stuck too so i just wipe it off. Next i. Go eat and by me eating i guess the. wastgets pushed by the food so i poop more .now that is my second time! Im. just tired of this bullshit because it would still feel like i need to a little but then gos away. my third ti time is at night. Ok peace

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Hello, IMISS, digging poop out of your rectum with your finger is called manual disimpaction and is not recommended except in an emwergency. A doctor or nurse can do it for you, using rubber gloves and careful technique; but you can't see what you are doing to your anus. If you notice blood on your finger, consider stopping your procedure, call for an appointment, and see your doctor.

IMISSPOOPING's picture

Heyy, so ive been having a really hard time pooping for the last while.. like i can feel threw my vagina that there is poop in my butt! but when i sit on the toilet i could push till tomrrow and nothing would come out. so i resorted to the last thing i could thing of, and the last thing i wanted to do... i manually went up my bum with my fingers and pulled it all out. is that bad? like yes disqusting, but will that hurt my pooper? insides? anyways.. please help any suggestions.

Anonymous Coward's picture

Pooetry non motion s(h)ite ....very grounding

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Dear 14 year old AC, what a tragedy that you will probably explode before your 15th birthday. We recently had a similar case here in Tennessee, a young girl ate mostly junk food and was totally plugged for a few months before her bowels were loosened by a massive explosion. They recovered her vagina in North Carolina and found bits of her tits in Dallas.


_______
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Anonymous Coward's picture

I can't poop!!!! It hurts and I haven't gone in a week!!! I'm only fourteen.

Anonymous Coward's picture

i had this yesterday. it felt like hell. it won't come out. eventually i gave up pushing it out and then waited for a little while, came back to the bowl and it actually came out smoothly. what a relief that was.

Anon's picture

I'm also having troubles like tgis.

Anonymous Coward's picture

i like alot of u have had a very tough time pooing for bout ten years. It all started after i had inguinal hernia surgery. Iv just had a prolapse problem fixed to help but no avail. Iv lost 20kg (45 pounds) and vomit all the time. Doctors are puzzled. Having another laparoscopy next week. I know a trick but to help/make u poop and it DEFINATLEY will make it easy for you. Mix two teaspoons of 'epsom' salts in a cup of warm water for a minute. Drink and make sure u have a chaser because it tastes like crap pardon the pun. My colorectal surgeon told me about this so is quite safe. It will take around 1 hour and ur bowels will empty guaranteed.

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

You ate a great deal of fiber without enough water. Therefore the cereal took water from your intestines, but it wasn't enough, as your poop is hard. Drink much, much more water. Now.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Anonymous Coward's picture

yesterday i had some baby cereal and some milk i made it very thick now ths morning i notice i wanted to poop but i was so hard it didnt come out so i am wondering if it is serious or if i t can be cured if i can do something that will make it come out

Butt of the Joke's picture
l 100+ points

No Deja,most people are tormented by something that crawled up OTHER people's asses and died.
_______
More people flush than they do wash their hands.

More people flush than they do wash their hands.

Deja Poo's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

Interesting, PoopDaddy. Most people are tormented by something that has crawled up their ass and died. You seem to be tormented by something that has crawled out of your ass and lived.
_______
Yo quiero Taco Bell.

Yo quiero Taco Bell.

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

First, open the bait shop. Save your money. Then, use the money to see the doctor.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Poop Daddy's picture

But you're still not answering my question. Should I see a doctor, or should I open a bait shop? No kidding, folks, I'm worried about this.

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

PoopDaddy: Such an accomplishment should be featured on a reality TV show. You need to film yourself with the crawfish coming out and send the clip to an enterprising TV producer, who will, I am sure, beat a path to your door with a lucrative offer. Or not.

Poop Daddy's picture

I've been shitting out live craw-fish. Should I sell them as bait, or see a doctor?

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

PoopsMcK, your problem sounds like insufficient fiber and water, and possibly exercise. Try drinking lots of water, increasing fiber intake a bit, and getting regular exercise. Also, try sitting on the toilet at a given time every day and see if you don't start to develop a better habit.

Ron Jeremey 's picture

@PoopsMcKenzie, For a monetary consideration I will enlarge your asshole and your problems will be over.

PoopsMcKenzie's picture

So, I only crap once or twice every week or two. Then, when I do, it is a nightmare. It is so damned big that the shit doesn't like to flush--and I'm a tiny, tiny person.

My arse bleeds, and then itches for a few days.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

AC, When I have berry cramps in my ass I take a cream and sugar enema.


_______
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Anonymous Coward's picture

I have berry bad cramps and I can't poop I have been trying to poop for 1 week now and the cramps have been geting wors And wors please help!!!!!!!!!

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

If you've already pooped a decent amount, but some is still left in the rectum, there may just not be enough left for the diaphragm to push against. Try waiting until your next poop session and see if you get better results. That session may come fairly soon.

Anonymous Coward's picture

"Yeah so I can poop alright but after the poop comes out it still feels like there is more inside my rectum. So I try really hard to push it out but nothing comes out. I checked with my finger and yeah there's still poop up in there. This happens quite frequently. Its a soft consistency, sticky and almost like peanut butter. I don't eat peanut butter though, nor any peanuts. Also its usually a million wiper. So freaking annoying. I'm young and relatively healthy otherwise. A few years back I would have perfect 1 wiper poops. I still eat pretty much the same, maybe I need more fluids or something? I eat my fair share of fruits and veggies."

This is my EXACT problem :(

Anonymous Coward's picture

So, I am constantly constipated, I have tried everything from Miralax to Colace/stool softeners. Most of the time I end up having to use and enema, and even now sometime little to nothing comes out. I eat healthy, I work out, drink tons of water. Sometimes I even have to stick my finger inside my vagina and help push it out tht way. Its hard and it hurts. I don't know what to do. Two different doctors have told me to do the same things, but I'm using an enema atleast 3 times a week cuz I am so uncomfortable and can't go. No matter how much I push and strain.

Anonymous Coward's picture

I have alot of pills and now i cant get my poop to come out! my ass is swollen shut! and is this wants to come out and its feels like its 4inches wide! i can push but my ass is swollen closed! im really scared. is there anything i can do to soften it up or break it up? fast? im scared, its to big for my ass

desperate...'s picture

I have had same problem as a lot of you now for 3 days..feel the urge & really need to poo..but when I go nothing or very little comes out...it's now hurting to go & I must have sat on the loo about 14 times in 2 days to try to go but It's clinging on in there.. I have been really miserable for the past 2 days because of it...but I have to say some of the way people have worded their problems on this site did make me forget my trouble for a few mins & have a chuckle at some of the stuff written ..lol...so TY for takin my mind of it in one way....oh well now back to the misery again...& endless pointless trips to the loo...

shit stuck in my asshole 23's picture

oh my god so tonight i took my first shit in 11 days. My stomach had been blown up and i always felt tired. i threw up twice. I attempted shitting at least twice everyday for the past 11 days. All that came out was gas. I ate over 50 grams of fiber a day. finally on day 11 i sat on the toilet for six hours researching how to get my shit out. and i found an answer. he said to see if anything was clogging up my anal. so while i was about to reach 8 hours on the toilet i decided to stick my middle finger up my asshole and see if anything was there. ends up there was a large amount of pubic hair barricading th shit. i pulled the hair out with my finger and downed flushing like a toilet came out huge snake looking dark brown pieces of shit. that guy really came through. let me know if this helps you

KATH's picture

when you on the lav and you finding it hard to pass just rock back on forth this pushes on the bowl moving everything.......i don't guarantee this to work but it woks wonders for me

Anonymous Coward's picture

I normally poop very well but for the last month and one week i have been pooping only peebles and then today it was peebles with blood. I have stomach cramping also. Any ideas.

Anonymous Coward's picture

I personally suggest Marathon Running for dislodging the clinkers - control is a bit flaky but hey, get's the job done...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VArOPqllcQg

Anonymous Coward's picture

I have a turd that i cannot poop out... it is literally too big to come out... ive been trying to poop for 3 days now and it hurts so bad, it is right to but anus, but it will not come out, its like a big ball... this is seriously not a joke, it really hurts, what should i do?? is there anything that will soften it so i can get it out??? Im in real pain.

So close yet so far's picture

Constipated for a week. 2 days ago I pooped tiny pebbles and even though I felt there was more I couldn't poop it out. Then my rectum started to hurt like crap...so I took some Milk of Magnesia. I got some diarrhea poop leakage when I tried really hard to poop but that was it.

Went to doctor yesterday b/c of the constant rectal pain...she told me to take some Milk of Magnesia, Metamucil tablets, fruits, veggies and fiber foods. So I did

The pain was so unbearable today and I couldn't sleep for more than 3 hrs at a time b/c of the pain. Relief came when I was finally able to poop out this fist size poop but now the rectal pain is back and I can actually see the poop when I strain it get it out but it won't come out...I tried assisting it out manually w/o any luck and even took a suppository but no luck just minute liquidy poop.

Any suggestions? I really need help...

loaf pincher's picture
l 100+ points

Michael M , best advice I can give you is consult a doctor or if you already have get a second opinon.

Michael M's picture

I have a major shitting problem. I find myself going about 8 times a day. Most of the time, so much comes out that I clog up the toilet. I even have moments when there is a lot of blood in the shit floating in the bowl. My stomach always hurts where I feel bloated and I always feel like I have to take a shit. As I'm shitting, sometimes I have explosive diarrea and as the shit comes out, it makes these loud noises. I also have times when the shit is so rock hard and its the size of a football. I've had this problem since I was 16 and I am now 27. Any advice? Please help me as my life is miserable with this ongoing problem. I feel like I have to shit again right now. Just took one an hour ago.

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

Throne, I think parts of your liver coming out won't be a problem, but if you see something beating in your shit pile perhaps you should be worried.

On The Throne's picture

I just did a cleansing the other night and it seems to have worked pretty well. However, is it possible to poop good parts of your liver out? .....
.............................................................................................
If you are constipated, drink 2 tbls. honey, 2tbls. vinegar, and 1/4 cup olive oil. Then go straight to bed. When you wake up, Viola!

Anonymous Coward's picture

what could be wrong if you feel the need of going to the bathroom and when you are there it is hard for the poop to come out, and only a little bit come out after trying for so long and there is stomach pain and the poop is like liquidy and pink/red?

Anonymous Coward's picture

in asia there this toilet where water sprays out. they sell many of theese toilets in the US. just turn the water on relax its like enema but the water keeps going and you dont have to hold it in. the water fills up ur ass and every falls out

Anonymous Coward's picture

My girlfriends poop just wouldn't come out so i tried to take it out with my hands.i failed.

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

I think Larry King is currently the oldest piece of shit in the world AC.

Anonymous Coward's picture

I wonder if there is such a thing as a very old hard poop that is still in u that is stuck and is passed by younger poop!

What is the oldest poop in the world?

Anonymous Coward's picture

It's been 2 weeks I can't go to the bathroom, I try tea and pills, still not able to go to the bathroom. My first time try of the tea only made me go to the bathroom about 2 time a day. Then third day it didn't work. Went to doctor and they say my body have too much water. So they give me pills to go poop and pee, but it only work right after you take the pill once. Which it should have make you go bath room like crazy, but me it just once after take the pill and I can only take one pill a day. What is wrong with me?

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Hello, COTT: You don't say whether you have seen a physician about this condition of yours. It is not normal. Please have it checked. Also: What do you eat? Have you made changes? Pooping may be a fairly straightforward act, but the story behind it is complicated and peculiar to each individual in some ways. Doctors can help.

CamperOfTheThrone's picture

It seems every time I poop its always liquid and makes me feel horrible, aside from that I have to wipe over and over to get rid of the nasty poop on the arse. Never regular and most times I'll wipe, pull up my pants, wash my hands and it feels like a train just wrecked in my colon...

IBS NO MORE's picture
k 500+ points

Try swallowing repeatedly for several seconds, or take as many tiny sips from a cup of water as you can without stopping (may need to try more than one round). This can kick-start peristaltic contractions in the colon to push the poop out.

When you say the word “poop,” your mouth makes the same motion your butthole does when pooping…
The same can be said for the phrase “explosive diarrhea.”

Anonymous Coward's picture

im having the problem that i try to poo and about 1/4 comes out i strain for ages and it stays there and hurts alot. So i need answers i havent pooed in along time.

Anonymous Coward's picture

Hi, im 19 and for the last 6 months or so ive been pooing via my sticking my fingers up my bum and 'massaging'... now i cant poo without doing this! im gettin quite worried, any advice?

Hemmorhoid Hunter's picture

the leaning forward thing is all about the way humans evolved to poop. the toilet was invented after we started pooping, before then everybody would bring their knees to their chest and squat down to poop. this sort of squeezes the poop out instead of requiring you to use your diaphragm to push. helps to prevent hemorrhoids and anal rupturing and all that fun stuff too.

Toilets are a fairly western idea, about 3/4 of the world still squat to poop.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Yeah ... and the alien zombies seem to have sucked the brain out of your head.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Anonymous Coward's picture

Batman ate my poop, whats up with that?

stickypoosucks's picture

Yeah so I can poop alright but after the poop comes out it still feels like there is more inside my rectum. So I try really hard to push it out but nothing comes out. I checked with my finger and yeah there's still poop up in there. This happens quite frequently. Its a soft consistency, sticky and almost like peanut butter. I don't eat peanut butter though, nor any peanuts. Also its usually a million wiper. So freaking annoying. I'm young and relatively healthy otherwise. A few years back I would have perfect 1 wiper poops. I still eat pretty much the same, maybe I need more fluids or something? I eat my fair share of fruits and veggies.

My Shit Is Sour's picture

I was trying to drop the kids off at the pool, but for some reason, the kids didnt want to leave the van.

help?

JudyPatooty's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

RoidRage.... did your doc advise you to drink 8 oz of water every two hours every single day? What you are experiencing is constipation. Here's how my doc explained it to me after my colonoscopy. When food first goes into your stomch, there's plenty of fluid. As it travels through the intestines, the moisture is pulled away from it. If you haven't stayed hydrated, then by the time the food gets to the large colon and becomes poo, it is not wet enough and will move slowly to it's exit. If it is too sticky or dry, it will sit at the opening and just block the way. A small enema, using an ear syringe, will lubericate the way. An ear syringe is a hollow rubber 'ball' with an elongated tip. Just run some warm water into a glass. Squeeze the 'ball' and release it to suck water into the syringe. Get it completely full. Apply some lotion or vaseline to the elongated part. Insert the tip into the anus and squeeze the warm water into the butt. Do not release the syringe until you have removed it from the anus (you don't want to suck the water back into the syringe). Add more water to the syringe and repeat. Now, you can release the water from your butt and hopefully, it will lubricate the way for the hard poo to move out. Sometimes, the poo becomes impacted and has to be dug out manually with your finger or a baby spoon.

Once you have achieved results, be sure to drink lots of water every day!!!! If you have a day of dehydration, just keep your syringe handy in the bathroom so you can relieve yourself before it becomes impacted.

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

Hey BVC, how've you been?

I had a similar thought too. The idea of a torpedo being fired came into my mind. But then a lot of strange things come into my mind.

Unfortunately, some escape.

baron von crapalot's picture
k 500+ points


Shit! sounds like some sort of explosive!
_______
Did I just fart?.... Oh shit! NO!!

I hope to god I've just sat in a Shepard's pie.

IBS NO MORE's picture
k 500+ points

Magnesium citrate works by drawing a lot of the excess fluids from your body and propelling them--and whatever else is in your colon at the time--out of your butt (same as a saline laxative).

When you say the word “poop,” your mouth makes the same motion your butthole does when pooping…
The same can be said for the phrase “explosive diarrhea.”

RoidRage's picture

I had a colonoscopy AND hemorrhoidectomy last Monday, April 12, 2010. I'm a 30 yo happily married man. The doctor did a great job, and had me done with surgery in about an hour and a half. Upon getting home, the pain was extremely tolerable. I thought to myself, "Hey, that wasn't half as bad as I anticipated." The day after however, when all the local anesthetic wore off, OMG, I've never been in so much pain. Fortunately the doctor prescribed Demerol and Percocet (to be taken separately depending on how bad the pain is).

Backing up, the nurse at the surgery center instructed my to take 1 TB of Mineral Oil mixed with 1 TB of Milk of Magnesia on a nightly basis for the next 30 days, also take Colace (stool softener) twice a day. The reason for this was to make sure that my poo had the consistency of toothpaste, making it much easier to pass with a stitched rectum. I thought, "Great, this will be a walk in the park." Not so. Passing toothpaste consistency poo through internal and external stitches is absolutely horrendous. But, the alternative is definitely even less of an option. This leads me onto today...

Day 8 of the hemorroidectomy surgery brings me with an ass that feels better, still a little tender, but have been off the pain meds since yesterday. Why you ask? Pain medicine causes constipation. I was forgetful one evening and forgot to take the mineral oil/milk of magnesia elixir I so carefully concocted on previous nights.

Here I am, on day 8, haven't had a BM in 4 days (thank you pain medicine). My ass is tight (not in the good way), throbbing, pulsating, feeling highly pressurized. It feel like it's about to explode, but I can't get the big guy to budge without fear of my sphincter protruding as well.

What a guy to do? Call the doctors office, I thought that surely the front desk people have been faced with these questions from time to time. I called and spoke with a very nice woman, she said this happens all the time, and what I need to do is drink MORE magnesium citrate. The great stuff I so enjoyed last Sunday before the surgery. Problem is, I didn't really have any backed up bowels the previous time, AND I hadn't had surgery yet. I've done everything I can think of today, stool softener, prune juice, bran muffin, coffee, SMART WATER, all to no avail! Is this going to tear apart my stitches and what's left of my anus? I will post once the movement passes, to tell you the results.

By the way, if any of you decide to have this elective surgery, I do highly recommend it. You will never take more baths in a given week long period as you do after a surgery like this. Being in the tub is really the only time you get 100% relief from pain.

My "bottom" line question is this: Will taking the magnesium citrate liquify my poo, or does it just get the muscles going?

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Dear TOI: There are several threads on this site related to anal leakage, leaky butt, and the like. There are dozens of suggestions on each, some serious, some not. My impression as a layman is that your husband is doing too much. Since he has tried so many remedies already, my suggestion (worth all you paid for it) is that he stop all the colon cleansing and other things, and after he poops, stuff some toilet paper in his crack and pull his underpants up with the toilet paper lodged in place. That way, if he still leaks, it gets on the paper, which he can remove and replace his next trip to the bathroom, whether he has another true bowel movement or not.

tired of it's picture

my husband is suffering "leaking" from his anus and has for the last couple of years. he describes his problem as when he poops not all of the poop comes out and gets stuck in his anus. the poop then will slowly seep out throughout the day causing him to stink. my husband will take at least 4 to 5 showers a day and sill smells like poop. we have been to numerous doctors and specialist with no help. my husband has his colon cleaned at least twice a month. we have tried all the home remedies and his currently takes all natural fiber pills which has helped with his pooping problem just not the stinking, leaking problem. also my husband has a "plump" butt and tends to sweat between his butt cheeks which then cause his smell to be worse. PLEASE if anyone has these problems or have any suggestions let us know.... thank you!

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

I think a laxative would take hours or days to work, which would take too long. Try sitting in quite warm water in the bathtub, then take a sliver of soap (softened somewhat by warm water) and slide it up; that may loosen things a bit or give them something slide to slide out past. Otherwise, see your doctor.

Ouch!!'s picture

ok I have poop stuck in my hole and wont come out, I went but then the rest would not come. Im in so much pain... should I take a laxative?

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Dear JW: At some point it will all come out. There may not have been enough poop down in the chute at the time that you tried, so when there is enough, you will poop. Think of it as a train siding that gradually fills up with cars: When the siding is full, the next car that comes along on one end will push everything along, and a car will exit the other end. The analogy is not exact, but something of the sort happens. That is why people eat high-fiber foods (within reason) to stimulate their bowels and bulk up their bowel movements.

As for whether everything is fine: Maybe, or maybe not. Wait to see what happens, but don't strain extremely hard in your efforts to poop. If after some days you still get no satisfaction, see a doctor.

JUST WONDERIN??'s picture

i was taking a crap the other day and only a little came out so i started pushing harder but nothing came out so i just decided to get up,wipe,and leave. there are still remains of my feces inside because it couldn't come out so is it going to effect me in anyway or is everything fine?

Anonymous Coward's picture

Had a bit of a blocked up feeling the other day even though I did not really feel that I needed a shit.Anyway I thought I should check it out so I soaped up my finger and stuck it up there.I could feel some hard pieces so I scooped it out and ended up with about 5 pieces of slightly curved shit,about 1 inch long and so rock like they did not leave any poo residue on my finger.Te next morning I had a satisfying,fairly large dump without having to mine for nuggets.I am wondering what caused the poop nuggets which seemed as ahrd as rocks.

Hemroidectomy blues's picture

I have been having issues with my poop for 11 months now, this is waht happened:
Early April 09-2 spinal blocks for lower back pain, within 2 days I started having problems completely emptying my bowels each day, It is always a lot but I feel more, I used my finger and could feel soft poop that did not come out. This would happen a few times a week, then I would have a day or 2 each week where it didn't....I thought it was from my severe internal hemorrhoids so i had a hemorrhoidectomy July 1st, did well and then 2 months later started having more bad days with gas an bloating and some days feeling empty and some days not. I do eat a lot of fiber but if you ever had this surgery you never want to do it again so I am afraid to stray too far from my daily routine which is:
1 tb mineral oil
oatmeal
pineapples
fiber one cereal
peaches
prune juice
pinto beans
soup/crackers
1 tb metamucil
160-180 oz of water

I had a clear colonoscopy July 08
Dr. says IBS

any help would be appreciated

Anonymous Coward's picture

i shit better when i exercise, eat fiber and drink water..keep moving and eat fruit too

IBS NO MORE's picture
k 500+ points

Daphne -- Actually, correcting the diet per Dr. Hay's guidelines does in fact help every person heal nearly every illness, disorder, disease, etc. (even some they're born with!).

His 30 years of successful clinical results on every imaginable health problem--even perforated appendicitis--proved it time and time again. The only exceptions were people with extensive nerve damage, people who wouldn't change their diet, and a very few poor souls who were already too close to the end when they finally came to see him.

I'll take those clinical results over even the most well-reasoned speculation every time, but there are also many doctors practicing today who advocate the same or similar detox and diet change regimen as Dr. Hay. For example, here's a Houston cardiologist who prescribes detox and a vegan diet to "Prevent and Reverse Heart Disease and Related Conditions..." (and for a paltry $97 you can take his "home study" course and learn exactly the same thing I'm talking about for free... except with Dr. Hay's way you don't have to go full vegan). Here's another doctor who has been practicing natural hygiene for over 60 years now. He mainly advocates the raw-food aspect, but you don't actually have to go all raw, either. (Check out his articles and free downloads, but be ready to have your mind blown!)

Food combining is not new, that's correct, but it's also not a fad. Fad diets don't stick around 100 years. This one has because it actually helps people heal.

I know the regs are tired of hearing about it, though, so I will try to keep the enthusiasm a little more muted.

When you say the word “poop,” your mouth makes the same motion your butthole does when pooping…
The same can be said for the phrase “explosive diarrhea.”

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

I think the problem is that not every person who comes to this website is going to be cured in the same way. There are people who come here who have many different illnesses, and it's totally naive to think that because a process helps one person it will help everyone else. It's also dangerous for some of these people, who might really need medical attention, to just decide to take the diet approach without getting full advice from a licensed, trained, educated doctor.

As far as the food combining fad goes, it's been around for over a hundred years. It's nothing new. I just don't buy it, because most carbs have proteins in them. In reality, very few foods are composed of just one type of macro nutrient. Pasta has protein, and a good deal of it, so you're mixing every time you eat it. Wheat has protein.

I think the health benefits that are perceived to come from food combining come from just plain eating better, and this why people who use this system lose weight. The assertion that digestion is compromised when someone eats carbs and proteing together has never actually been recorded in the stomach because it doesn't happen.

I'm not going to rag on you or on anyone who is trying to help others, but I will say this: while you want to help people, you can also alienate them if you're not careful. I tread my vegetarianism VERY carefully, because I've seen people like me become social pariahs due to their inability to talk about anything else but their diet choice.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

IBS NO MORE's picture
k 500+ points

That's my only wish for you (and everyone else on earth), Chief dearest -- a long, healthy, happy life free from suffering and disease :)

_______
Open your eyes AND your mind to the power of food!
Health via Food (scroll down to read by chapter)

When you say the word “poop,” your mouth makes the same motion your butthole does when pooping…
The same can be said for the phrase “explosive diarrhea.”

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Thanks for the concern IBSNM.....No Avandia for me, my diabetes is managed by small daily doses of Metformin and low intakes of starches whose glucose raising abilities are lowered by eating proteins along with them. My A1C readings are normal, 5.9 or lower, as long as I stick to the diet prescribed to me by my nutritionist.

Unfortunately I have a genetic defect that causes Atrial Fibrillation and puts me in a high risk category for a stroke unless I use Warfarin to keep my blood thin. There are many nutritious vegetables, most dark green leafy ones, that I can no longer eat in any quantity at all because they interfere with the Warfarin. I cheerfully take the hand I was dealt by life and try to have as much fun as possible. My Mom made it to 100 with A-fib, perhaps I will also.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

IBS NO MORE's picture
k 500+ points

Funny, PD. :)

Chief -- I hope you're not managing your diabetes with Avandia. Have you heard the latest on that?

Apparently they are recommending that it be removed from the market due to all the unnecessary deaths it's been linked to (304 just during the last quarter of 2009).

Never heard any news like that in relation to eating more fresh fruits and non-starchy veggies... but then again those foods are all akaline, while all medicines, drugs, chemicals of any kind leave acid residue.

On top of that, the way some meds suppress and control symptoms actually interferes with the body's own healing mechanisms, so those in particular offer us a double-whammy, doing twice the damage.

Also interesting to note... when you "heal" diabetes by eating correctly, certain parts--which were previously "broken" from it before--start working again (wink wink nudge nudge).

_______
Open your eyes AND your mind to the power of food!
Health via Food (scroll down to read by chapter)

When you say the word “poop,” your mouth makes the same motion your butthole does when pooping…
The same can be said for the phrase “explosive diarrhea.”

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

I was driving once while combining a Big Mac and an order of fries into my mouth. I almost had an accident. It's possible.

IBS NO MORE's picture
k 500+ points

Actually it means that their previous incorrect eating habits caused the disease in the first place.

That was Dr. Hay's whole theory, which he proved correct thousands of times over on myriad health problems, illness, chronic disease, etc.--not just IBS or other digestive disorders.

Just separating carbs from proteins resolves nearly all digestive problems almost immediately, but that's only one tiny step in changing to more correct eating habits... and that instant healing is only one tiny testimony to what the human body is capable of, if we only get out of its way and stop the over-production of acid residues (which is what proper food combining does).

Food combining is not to be done temporarily and then revert back to old eating habits. It's a lifestyle change in the way you eat that heals current health problems and prevents new ones.

If someone were to heal themselves with proper food combining and then revert back to old eating habits, then yes, either their old health problems would return or they would develop new ones. After all, those old eating habits are what caused the health problems in the first place.

That's just it, though--you don't return to the old eating habits. No one does once they experience what correct eating does for them.

I respect and understand your and your daughter's positions, as I once believed the same as you. Then I experienced the healing that even simplified food combining offered... no more IBS or carpal tunnel or arthritis or allergies or high blood pressure, and of course the weight loss was awesome.

After about 4 months my hair and skin condition suddenly improved dramatically and my wrinkles started disappearing, so I decided I need to delve further into this food combining thing.

That's when I discovered Dr. Hay's many books, which are all written to instruct the average person on what exactly they can do to heal themselves of practically every imaginable health problem, using the exact same methods he used at his clinic.

I link the one below because it's the only one that's available for anyone to read for free online, and it also seems to be the most comprehensive in explaining everything compared to other of his books I've read.

You and your daughter might find it interesting to note what he says about feeding experiments, our government's knowledge of their results, and why the medical industry is reluctant to embrace natural healing of any kind...

_______
Open your eyes AND your mind to the power of food!
Health via Food (scroll down to read by chapter)

When you say the word “poop,” your mouth makes the same motion your butthole does when pooping…
The same can be said for the phrase “explosive diarrhea.”

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Sorry INM.......I searched the internet and couldn't find anything on Dr, Hay's death, Trauma is hard to prepare for in advance.

The UK's most popular dietitian has an article on food combining that echoes what my doctors and dietitians at Vanderbilt have told me. Food combining may very well be beneficial to IBS sufferers but most of the benefit is because of the healthy diet they switch to on becoming a practitioner.

My daughter is a registered nurse and is certified as a diabetic councilor by the National Diabetes Association, she tells me that diabetes is a lifelong journey that can be "controlled" but can not be "reversed", I feel sure that anyone "cured" by Dr. Hay's diet would swiftly become "uncured" as soon as they reverted to their old eating habits. This means they had the disease under control but they were not cured.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

IBS NO MORE's picture
k 500+ points

Dr. Hay died from a CAR ACCIDENT--even correct eating can't trump severe trauma--but even still at 74 had outlived his life expectancy by almost 20 years, and was in great health when the accident happened.

He also treated hundreds of diabetics with the exact same diet changes, no matter if they were born with it or if it had developed later in life, and they ALL were healed of it... completely.

So you just go right on "controlling" your health problems, and I will go on healing myself of mine and helping others do the same.

_______
Open your eyes AND your mind to the power of food!
Health via Food (scroll down to read by chapter)

When you say the word “poop,” your mouth makes the same motion your butthole does when pooping…
The same can be said for the phrase “explosive diarrhea.”

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

IBS NO MORE said,

"Proper food combining was developed by a medical doctor who turned away from traditional medicine and surgery in favor of natural healing with detox and diet, based on years of clinical nutritional study. Just some food for thought. :)"

This is all well and good but the doctor died at the age of 74 in spite of his healthy eating. My mother, who believed that healthy eating meant eating meat, a starch, and plenty of veggies at each meal outlived DR. Hay by 26 years and was very robust until about 4 years before her death. At the age of ninety she could still place both palms flat on the floor in front of her without bending her knees.

My diabetes is being controlled by diet as recommended by doctors and dietitians from Vanderbilt University. They stress how important it is for all diabetics to consume small portions of starches and to always temper them by consuming protein at the same time. Using their advice I am able to maintain an A1C of 5.9 which is normal. I do not require insulin injections but do take oral medications to maintain this balance.

Food combining may be the right thing for you but I am going to stick to the opinions of mainstream medicine. Diabetes is controllable but is not curable. Type 2 known as non-insulin or adult-onset which is the most common form of the disease, is strongly associated with genetic predisposition. The jury is still out as to whether obesity causes insulin resistance or insulin resistance causes obesity, I would cast my vote for the latter.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

IBS NO MORE's picture
k 500+ points

Hey Chief -- Here's a Houston-area doctor (practicing TODAY) who is using a strictly vegetarian diet to heal people.

You don't even have to go full vegan to have the same healing benefits... you just have to eat as close to 4 servings fnv for every single serving of carb or protein each day as possible. (A vegan diet just makes the healing happen faster.)

It's all in the book...

_______
Open your eyes AND your mind to the power of food!
Health via Food (scroll down to read by chapter)

When you say the word “poop,” your mouth makes the same motion your butthole does when pooping…
The same can be said for the phrase “explosive diarrhea.”

IBS NO MORE's picture
k 500+ points

Also, just out of curiosity... how many people here who have poop or other health problems have had their CURRENT eating habits reviewed by any nutritionist or medical professional?

Do any of you currently eat by the government's recommendations? I tried eating by the pyramid last year, and gallbladder attacks were the result.

Proper food combining was developed by a medical doctor who turned away from traditional medicine and surgery in favor of natural healing with detox and diet, based on years of clinical nutritional study. Just some food for thought. :)

_______
Open your eyes AND your mind to the power of food!
Health via Food (scroll down to read by chapter)

When you say the word “poop,” your mouth makes the same motion your butthole does when pooping…
The same can be said for the phrase “explosive diarrhea.”

IBS NO MORE's picture
k 500+ points

Chief -- Did you also find the almost 30-year history of near-100% success rate for thousands of patients recovering from just about every imaginable health problem "amusing"?

If you read the whole book instead of just cherry-picking out parts that seem funny, then the speculative points (such as you quoted) become more clear.

Regardless of what was known then vs now, the principles Dr. Hay employed WORKED. Eating the way he suggested HEALED EVERY PERSON as long as they had enough life left in them to undertake the healing process.

People came to Dr. Hay from all corners of the earth--including Japan--and they were healed using nothing more than detox and diet change, even after they were previously told by many other doctors that they had no hope of living much longer. Some of them didn't even make all the changes necessary for their diets to be in strict adherence with the principles, and still they were healed.

(Yes Chief, changing your diet CAN heal your diabetes, even if you don't believe it's possible; however, if you've used insulin for too long then you may not have complete recovery since the organ may have become permanently crippled.)

Argue the academics all you want, but this fact remains crystal clear for those of us who have actually TRIED IT: food combining does in fact resolve nearly all health problems for every human.

Dr. Hay said it best himself:
The proof of the pudding is in the eating, and if any reader is inclined to take issue with the statements heretofore in this little book he is requested before making up any fixed opinion on the subject to adhere faithfully to the indicated diet of the earlier chapter for one month, till he has gone through to the end of the four weeks, and then he is allowed to form his own conclusions, and no one will quarrel with his decisions.

_______

Daphne -- as with vegetarians and vegans, food combiners do need to exercise care in getting all the proper nutrients; however, the statement regarding loss of vitamins and minerals from food moving through too quickly is inaccurate. Proper food combining supplies all the nutrients needed by the body on a daily basis and eliminates the need for any supplementation. Food is more thoroughly digested and all nutrients more completely assimilated due to the higher quality of the food itself and lack of the usual interference of eating miscombined foods together.

Ross' explanation is very simplistic and some of it obviously uninformed, but if people who want to try food combining just make sure to include a wide variety of all colors of fruits and vegetables in their daily or weekly intake, they won't need to worry about missing any nutrients.

_______
Open your eyes AND your mind to the power of FOOD!
Health via Food (scroll down to read by chapter)

When you say the word “poop,” your mouth makes the same motion your butthole does when pooping…
The same can be said for the phrase “explosive diarrhea.”

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

I may be different from others but the old saying that cheese is binding doesn't really hold true for me. Most cheeses have a high fat content and make nice greasy turds that shoot from my butt with the greatest of ease.

Now of you will excuse me I am off to try to fire a cheddar crap over my trailer.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Some animals have very specialized diets, while others are less selective. Like the second group (but more so), humans are omnivorous, capable of eating veggies, grains, meat, and whatever out there is even marginally edible (fast foods, soft drinks, etc.). In my life I have had meals of a wide variety of descriptions, and the poop is pretty similar after all of them; sometimes softer, sometimes harder, the occasional rare blowout; but it's all poop, and my intestines don't seem to differentiate (except within a fairly narrow range) among the various foods that compose their fodder.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

No no PD....Roadkill is fine but it is healthier when served with turnip soup, ramps, hush puppies, and tomato gravy.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

So Chief, are you saying you won't be serving the roadkill smorgasbord when I come down to visit?

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Well...here I am again with my radical ideas as to why I don't believe in food combining. "Health via Food" was printed in 1932 and was written by a man, William Howard Hay, who graduated from the New York University School of Medicine in the year 1891. Vast amounts of knowledge have been added to the literature that describes the working of the human body and the role played by nutrition since those dates.

It is interesting to note that the countries with the longest life expectancies in todays modern world do not practice food combining. The Japanese eat large amounts of starch (white rice) at virtually every meal. Seafood appears often on their menus (protein) and is eaten along with a great variety of other complex carbohydrates. In spite of this they enjoy one of the world's longest and healthiest life spans.

I was amused by Dr Hay's observations in Chapter six that link disease and crime. He states that healthy diets help curb criminal behavior. If this were true we could shrink our prison populations by simply adjusting the diets of our incarcerated for a few years and then admonish them to, "re-enter society and sin no more."

The human body produces different enzymes to aid in the digestion of a multiplicity of foods. You can, for the most part, shovel everything in at once and your body can take care of it.

If you have questions about your diet your best bet is to see a registered dietitian or nutritionist. My dietitian at the Veterans Administration has a degree from Vanderbilt University and advises me that variety in your food is the best road to good health. He also says eat a variety at each meal.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

I have read your post thoroughly several times and my intestinal issues are still not annihilator. I do have a headache however.

used to have your problem, not so much anymore's picture

All the way through my youth I was never regular, until I realized that taking a #2 can be VERY enjoyable if you eat the right items. You don't even have to eat like a health nut, just lay off the cheese if you're feeling irregular. Two days ago I ate an entire box of cheese itz and I did NOT shit yesterday as a result. So what I did today is, I ate two salads for lunch and dinner, stocked with peppers, onions, mushrooms, ham, boiled eggs, pine nuts, cranberries and basil vinaigrette. I just swallowed down like 3 tbsp full of mineral oil, I just drunk a cup of water with 3 scoops of metamucil, I took two stool softeners and I'm letting this smooth move steep for about 10 more minutes even though it's already been sitting here for an hour. Umm yeah, tomorrow I'm going LAY the MAYHEM down on the toilet. It's going to be the brown second coming of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Tomorrow I'm going to eat a huge ass bowl of Fiber One too, and if that doesn't happen well, I'll just eat bowls of that stuff through out the entire day and LAY OF THE CHEESE UNTIL I CUT THE CHEESE. Oh yeah, Rice & Beans will do the trick, I'm definitely going to serve up some REALLY spicy rice & beans tomorrow, it's so freaking on. To all you haters and constipators out there, READ THIS POST THOROUGHLY AND ALL YOUR INTESTINAL ISSUES WILL BE ANNIHILATOR.

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

I've read about the concept of not combining carbs and proteins; it's been around for a long time. It's not new. In the eighties Jim and Marilyn Diamond got famous for the Fit For Life diet and books. My mother used this concept of eating and lost a great deal of weight, but she also got tired. After being researched, many scientists and doctors have disagreed about food combining.

Many people who use food combining end up losing weight, but they also lose vitamins and minerals because the food goes through them too quickly. Diarrhea and gas are other results. If anyone thinks to try this type of diet, please be sure to have the diet approved by your health care professional to make sure you're not going to be at risk for vitamin deficiencies or gastro-intestinal upset. There are quite a few quack diets out there. Protect yourself.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Ross's picture

I found the only way to eat: Food Combining, where you eat what you want, but only one food at a time. When you combine all kinds of foods, and liquids, all at once, trouble happens because every food requires a different digestive juice, and when you mix them all up, you get allergies, sinus, mucus, bad breathe, skin & pooping, troubles. That's right -even allergies disappear. You are what you eat - and how you eat it. Poop is the last thing that goes on and it tells you what is happening. Look into food combining, which is also called The Mono Diet, and The Hygenic Diet. Eat this way and you won't even know you have a stomach - no pains, fullness, gas, weird pooping, etc. ALL your problems will go away. Our bodies produce tons of mucus when we jam proteins, carbohydrates, sugars, etc. together. They should be eaten by themselves, then you will see your health improve. The mucus acts like glue to hold all the tiny particles of food together and drinking cold liquids hardens up the stools, so drink warm water on an empty stomach 30-60 mins. BEFORE meals. Never drink any liquid with food - causes dry skin and poop problems. I used to get a 'nudge' to poop, then sat on the thunderbucket for only 1 second, it all came out softly and started to flake apart because there was no mucus to hold it together - and absolutely NO odor at all. I ate this way for eight months and was the healthiest man alive -had tests taken by a doctor and he was amazed.
You eat fruit for breakfast, a salad for lunch with a carbohydrate, and a salad for dinner with a protein.

IBS NO MORE's picture
k 500+ points

I should have said are you talking about me ("... what with the uneducated masses around here trying to sound intelligent.") Sorry I busted the funny.
_______
Open your eyes AND your mind to the power of food!
Health via Food (scroll down to read by chapter)

When you say the word “poop,” your mouth makes the same motion your butthole does when pooping…
The same can be said for the phrase “explosive diarrhea.”

Dr Scully's picture
l 100+ points

For those of you who can't go: All-Bran "Buds" Cereal. It works amazingly for me, and I only get a little bit of flatulence before I take the most amazing crap... as opposed to something like Mini Wheats or Raisin Bran which turns my anus into a toxic mustard gas machine for some reason.

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Nope, read the post above yours, honey...by "brown twowsers"

_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

IBS NO MORE's picture
k 500+ points

Bilgey -- you talkin' to me, punk? ;)

When you say the word “poop,” your mouth makes the same motion your butthole does when pooping…
The same can be said for the phrase “explosive diarrhea.”

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

brown twowsers, that was a nice anecdote, not perfect, but nice. Or did you mean antidote? I can never tell, what with the uneducated masses around here trying to sound intelligent.
_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

IBS NO MORE's picture
k 500+ points

Poopie -- what are you feeding that poor child? Try giving him more fruits and non-starchy veggies (or fruit/non-starchy veggie baby foods as appropriate for teething).

If you are feeding him anything starchy or sugary before all of his teeth have come in, stop doing that immediately.

Eliminate carbs until he has all his baby teeth, increase the fruit and non-starchy veggie foods, and decrease all other food sources, and you will have done all that is possible to help the little guy heal himself.

Please read the book linked below for more information.
_______
Open your eyes AND your mind to the power of food!
Health via Food (scroll down to read by chapter)

When you say the word “poop,” your mouth makes the same motion your butthole does when pooping…
The same can be said for the phrase “explosive diarrhea.”

brown twowsers's picture

I have the perfect anecdote. I once did this by the way before an evening out and HEY PRESTO it actually worked. I was sitting straining like a bastard and I mean straining....so I went to the cupboard and what did I see....COD LIVER OIL...mmmm !! Now this takes a bit of doing...but take the cap off and give it a great big swig !! I guarantee, you will fix your problem in about 12 mins !! If yuo are still experiencing problems, try the following remedy... mix together half a small glass of cod live oil, 2 x raw eggs. Beat this up and make an anenema. I used an old coke bottle with a rubber hose attached. Squirt this directly into the anus and lie back for 5 mins. Around 6 mins later you will have the urge to defecate like never before. It will release all the blockages and also save you money on toilet paper. By the way, make sure the egg is fresh, you dont want salmonella poisoning in your bottom !! Be fresh and BE CLEAN !!

Poopie Child's picture

My 16 month old son cant poop, he has been constipated in the past but now is on peglyte so his stool is softer, it makes his poop soft but he still strains and cries when he poops. He tries to poop all day long but nothing much comes out. It helps when I put him on the toilet but (he gets it out) but he cries and shakes with pain. He also has blood in his anus sometimes when he does go....PLease help...we have been to the doctor but another opinion always helps. Thanks

Anonymous Coward's picture

Sometimes my poop just starts to emerge then stalls, so I use a rocking back and forward motion which helps a lot. Another great poop mover is to have a full glass of hot water not too hot but hot water, boiled and cooled to managable temperature, gets your bowel going after about 10 minutes. A glass of hot water morning and evening is a great bowel activator. I just had to use Picolax last week for prep for a a barium enema, don't be tempted to use this it is the Pimp Daddy of laxatives/Industrial stregnth lol!

poopie princess's picture

the other day I had to poop..thought it was going to be so bad....it got stuck..and when it final came out it was huge! still more..the second half was huge to and took forever to get it out...then the thrid part got really stuck . I had to massage the side of my anus to get it out and it shot out like a cannon ball and made a squirt sound...sure enough there was blood in the water..I wiped and there was blood.
worst poop of my life

blocknugget's picture

what a scream! some of these posts almost caused me to "follow through" from the hysterical laughter,
I can honestly admit, i havent read, and laughed like this before. and im not alone with solid blocking nuggets.
Funny & informative

Anorexic Barbie's picture

Well My mother usually eats at a place that makes her crap alot. Like grandma sally's restaurant :)

try eating prunes and fiber, those usually get you poopin

who know >'s picture

i cant seem to get my poop out and its causing me pain please help!

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

It would be helpful if you addressed your spelling problem so we knew exactly what you're talking about, then, good advice would be to do what your doctor says.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Anonymous strainer's picture

i have bee removing my poo from my anus for 5years or more now due to the fact that i cnt go. i have been trying to stop as i am now bleeding from my anus daily i have seeked a doctor and had scan done they said i have a olcer in my bowle and stomack but i was to embarrised to tell them wat i have been doin wat shale i do? + i been drinking loads of water taking xtra fiba and tried stop removin it but the longer i leave it the longer i cnt go so i have to remove it please help

Anonymous Coward's picture

im in seriuse shit i think
been having trouble to poo for years
so iv been removing with my fingers for over 5years

but i dnt want to continue wat im doin
iv tried to stop but i cnt ever seem to go just get blood been hospital few times
they sent me 4 scan n said i had a olcer but i was 2 embarrised to tell them wat i had been doin wat shall i do?

Anonymous Coward bitch's picture

hi my shit stank real bad and i have a question is it normal when you are my age (9) and your mommy makes u shit in a litter box and then she video tapes it. please help

justwannapoop's picture

ive had troubles shitting for about the past 2 weeks now. ive cleared my bowels with laxatives and an enema twice and once respectively and have started eating a lot of fibre and drinking a lot of water. even after several days of high fibre intake i still can not bring myself to poop. I almost constantly feel the urge to go but after getting up and sitting on the toilet it goes away completely and no matter how hard i strain i can not force it out. im going to my doctor in a day or two but some earlier answers would still be helpful

Slamshut's picture

If I had some of these problems stated hear, I would lean closer to putting a shell in the pipe and pullin the trigger. WoW, there are some sick ones out there!

IBS NO MORE's picture
k 500+ points

PD and Teenie Weenie are one in the same?

_______
How I beat IBS

When you say the word “poop,” your mouth makes the same motion your butthole does when pooping…
The same can be said for the phrase “explosive diarrhea.”

yallrKrazee's picture

wow this site is beyond Hilarious i come here 4 kicks and i dont even have BM probs

Done353's picture

Feel like I have to go... but something is blocking it... something is in the way. Making me so tired, stomach hurts, feels like I'm sitting on a brick. Any idea?

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

Can't help there either.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

A ten inch pole might break something loose.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

Sorry AC, Bilge just borrowed my 12' pole, and all I have here is the 10 footer. Can't help.

Anonymous Coward's picture

My period just came and i tried to go poop but it wont come out! I know this will make me feel better and make my cramps go away. Somebody please help!!!!!!

ChiliKahKah's picture
j 1000+ points

Try the Texas two step. First three big bowls of Grape Nuts and then...... a huge dinner of chicken fried steak with cream gravy. If that does not produce a self propelled turd torpedo, nothing will.

Teenie Weenie's picture

Dear Sore butthole.....As you can tell by my name I am the man you need to cheat with. Your butthole will soon return to normal and your boy friend will be none the wiser.

I Poop Fine...'s picture

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! This is funny, but that last one was kinda nasty. But seriously ppl...go see a doctor before you do anything stupid like stick fire up ur ass... just sayin. Might help more and you won't burn urself...

Sore butthole's picture

So heres the deal, my butthole is sore. VERY SORE!! My craps are about 1 foot long, and 4 inches wide. It hurts and strains my ass hole to push such a wide load out. And when my boyfriend made love to me in the bung hole he said he noticed it was looser and asked if i was cheatin gon him with a guy with a larger penis, well ofcourse i am, but still, that wouldnt make my bung hole as loose and saggy as it is. Please help.!

Amazed in Denver's picture

For everyone who suffers from constipation:
I recently came accross a new tip (for me) for solving this problem. It was in a Denver newspaper. It said to try 2 teaspoons of apple cider vinegar in 8oz of water. I had been stopped up for two weeks, so I put 2 tablespoons in a glass of water 3 times a day. I also drank lots and lots of plain water. I don't know why this works, but it was the first thing that ever made a big positive difference. Eating fiberous fruit always helped a little bit but metamucil just made things worse. I have had this problem on and off since childhood in spite of being reletively active. If anyone knows why apple cider vinegar helps - please write in and explain it because I have no idea.

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