poop won't go all the way out

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Problmaticer asks:

When I poop, I can't go all the way. I usually end up with poop stuck on my anus; and I really don't want to strain. This leads to endless wiping. I've fought this matter for while now... it's getting tiring, and I realy urge for a solution.





Dear Problmaticer,

Sigh.

You'll have to provide more details. What do you eat on a typical day? How much fiber are you getting? How much water do you drink?

Just offhand, I would suggest some heaping helpings of Metamucil, mixed with PLENTY of water, taken several times a day for a while. See if it helps.

Also-try leaning forward as far as you can while "going." Sometimes for reasons only known to the universe, this helps.

But do try the Metamucil. I am becoming quite enamored of it -- somewhat like a crack whore, but jonesing for the fiber...

Please be advised that I am only a Poonurse. I am NOT a medical doctor. Any advice I give should be taken moderate skepticism. Please consult a REAL medical doctor if you feel you have a serious medical condition.

-- Poonurse

Poonurse is an RN with 25 years experience in labor and delivery. Her qualifications include seeing a lot of poop, and owning a computer. Also, she works in Michigan, which she calls the asshole of the universe, so that's another bit of credibility.

Got a question for her?












232 Comments on "poop won't go all the way out"

Anonymous Coward's picture

I have berry bad cramps and I can't poop I have been trying to poop for 1 week now and the cramps have been geting wors And wors please help!!!!!!!!!

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

AC, When I have berry cramps in my ass I take a cream and sugar enema.


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How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

PoopsMcKenzie's picture

So, I only crap once or twice every week or two. Then, when I do, it is a nightmare. It is so damned big that the shit doesn't like to flush--and I'm a tiny, tiny person.

My arse bleeds, and then itches for a few days.

Ron Jeremey 's picture

@PoopsMcKenzie, For a monetary consideration I will enlarge your asshole and your problems will be over.

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

PoopsMcK, your problem sounds like insufficient fiber and water, and possibly exercise. Try drinking lots of water, increasing fiber intake a bit, and getting regular exercise. Also, try sitting on the toilet at a given time every day and see if you don't start to develop a better habit.

Poop Daddy's picture

I've been shitting out live craw-fish. Should I sell them as bait, or see a doctor?

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

PoopDaddy: Such an accomplishment should be featured on a reality TV show. You need to film yourself with the crawfish coming out and send the clip to an enterprising TV producer, who will, I am sure, beat a path to your door with a lucrative offer. Or not.

Poop Daddy's picture

But you're still not answering my question. Should I see a doctor, or should I open a bait shop? No kidding, folks, I'm worried about this.

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

First, open the bait shop. Save your money. Then, use the money to see the doctor.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Deja Poo's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

Interesting, PoopDaddy. Most people are tormented by something that has crawled up their ass and died. You seem to be tormented by something that has crawled out of your ass and lived.
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Yo quiero Taco Bell.

Yo quiero Taco Bell.

Butt of the Joke's picture
l 100+ points

No Deja,most people are tormented by something that crawled up OTHER people's asses and died.
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More people flush than they do wash their hands.

More people flush than they do wash their hands.

Anonymous Coward's picture

yesterday i had some baby cereal and some milk i made it very thick now ths morning i notice i wanted to poop but i was so hard it didnt come out so i am wondering if it is serious or if i t can be cured if i can do something that will make it come out

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

You ate a great deal of fiber without enough water. Therefore the cereal took water from your intestines, but it wasn't enough, as your poop is hard. Drink much, much more water. Now.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Anonymous Coward's picture

i like alot of u have had a very tough time pooing for bout ten years. It all started after i had inguinal hernia surgery. Iv just had a prolapse problem fixed to help but no avail. Iv lost 20kg (45 pounds) and vomit all the time. Doctors are puzzled. Having another laparoscopy next week. I know a trick but to help/make u poop and it DEFINATLEY will make it easy for you. Mix two teaspoons of 'epsom' salts in a cup of warm water for a minute. Drink and make sure u have a chaser because it tastes like crap pardon the pun. My colorectal surgeon told me about this so is quite safe. It will take around 1 hour and ur bowels will empty guaranteed.

Anon's picture

I'm also having troubles like tgis.

Anonymous Coward's picture

i had this yesterday. it felt like hell. it won't come out. eventually i gave up pushing it out and then waited for a little while, came back to the bowl and it actually came out smoothly. what a relief that was.

Anonymous Coward's picture

I can't poop!!!! It hurts and I haven't gone in a week!!! I'm only fourteen.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Dear 14 year old AC, what a tragedy that you will probably explode before your 15th birthday. We recently had a similar case here in Tennessee, a young girl ate mostly junk food and was totally plugged for a few months before her bowels were loosened by a massive explosion. They recovered her vagina in North Carolina and found bits of her tits in Dallas.


_______
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Anonymous Coward's picture

Pooetry non motion s(h)ite ....very grounding

IMISSPOOPING's picture

Heyy, so ive been having a really hard time pooping for the last while.. like i can feel threw my vagina that there is poop in my butt! but when i sit on the toilet i could push till tomrrow and nothing would come out. so i resorted to the last thing i could thing of, and the last thing i wanted to do... i manually went up my bum with my fingers and pulled it all out. is that bad? like yes disqusting, but will that hurt my pooper? insides? anyways.. please help any suggestions.

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Hello, IMISS, digging poop out of your rectum with your finger is called manual disimpaction and is not recommended except in an emwergency. A doctor or nurse can do it for you, using rubber gloves and careful technique; but you can't see what you are doing to your anus. If you notice blood on your finger, consider stopping your procedure, call for an appointment, and see your doctor.

Anonymous's picture

Okay, so I will tell a day in the life of how it is to poop for me. I shit about three times a day. Probably even more if I dont hold it in. Everyday I wake up I poop. Sometimes i dont need to go but it comes out anyways and it makes. my stomach kinda hurt more than before i went. After i would take my first shit in the morning, most times it woul get a liitle stuck too so i just wipe it off. Next i. Go eat and by me eating i guess the. wastgets pushed by the food so i poop more .now that is my second time! Im. just tired of this bullshit because it would still feel like i need to a little but then gos away. my third ti time is at night. Ok peace