The fat hypothesis is good, but It may not be correct.

I have a friend who stunk for years. And he was not fat. He finally went to the ass doctor, who diagnosed him with leaky-butt. The cure for leaky-butt was to sit on the pot for ten extra minutes after finishing your crap, wiping periodically while the butthole slowly seals up. Then finish with a baby-wipe.

Personally, I like the squat-and-pick prescribed by ML. That not only airs things out, but the increased airflow will also act as an early warning system to let you know if it's time for some more vigorous cleaning.

I applaud you NADP for having the decency to recognize that you have a problem that may be grossing out others. There are many out there who don't know or don't care.
I was in the movies once, and this fat slob parked his ass right in the center of the middle aisle. Of course he had to get up in the middle of the movie to shit or get some more double buttered popcorn or both. Anyway this guy passed his smelly ass inches from everyones face both coming and going. I wished I had a can of Lysol to spray him with. He ruined the movie for the whole row.

I don't know whether it's true, but I remember reading somewhere about thirty years ago (in preparation for a student-exchange trip to Germany) that the Germans face the people past whose knees they are excusing themselves, in and out of the theater and such.

It was quite obvious to my teenage mind at the time that this was in order to avoid brushing ones possibly-stinky bunghole right past captive noses, rather than out of some positive reason to face folks as you excuse your way past them.

Hmmm my ass smells pretty good but again too I think its all about how careful you are as well. I enjoy a good dump as much as the next guy but damnit I wipe and make sure my ass is clean. I am a little on the fat side but have never had this problem. I am sure it exists however and I think you should try to do as much as you can to deal with it. I agree that bending over and smelling the toilet is not something the next person is going to do when they use the toilet. We assume if its empty it will simply smell like a bathroom and a toilet.
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The Thunderous Crapper 63 Enjoying home toilet advantage since 2004!

Thunderous wrote: Hmmm my ass smells pretty good...
Excuse me, but CEP will be the judge of that.

One of my son's friends is a large kid, and, well, he stinks. We drove him home last weekend; and when I got back into the car to pick Thing One up from a friend's house the next day, it still smelled. I had to deodorize the floors and clean the seats to get the smell out.

During the ride when we took him home, one of the other kids in the car ribbed him about being stanky (they had been camping) and the one who stank got angry and hit him. It occurred to me that he was sensitive about his smell because his reaction was marked.

I feel bad for him, but then again, the other kids say he doesn't shower very often, so it could be avoided. The combination of being overweight and not taking care of yourself isn't a very good one.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Do they make an ANAL douche...If not ...NOW's THE TIME.....How 'Bout a COLONIC......Maybe a fresh, clean slate would help you get a "FRESH" start.....At least reply back to us and Let us know if you're a Rotund Person..or skinny and smelly...
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Yours Poohly
Skid McMarks

Summers Eve ass douche for men. I can see the commercial now. A Jackie Gleason-esqe man in a flowing satin robe and ascot, dancing in a field of spring flowers.

Douche smouche, my vote is that you should take up cigar smoking while crapping. Tell people it helps you relax, whatever.

No matter how terribly offended they are by the cigar smoke, at least you'll have an understandable excuse. And if they do not care, you'll still not have to explain yourself. Either way, you win.

Prarie doggin, I think if someone were going to make an ass douche for guys it would be best accomplished by playing to guys wants/needs while stoking up the potential failure of not buying this product.

Here's how I'd film a commercial.

Scene 1- The Party, lots of good looking 20 something women, all with drinks in hand.

Guy looks over and sees this gorgeous blonde, green eyes, looking his way, he's talking with his friend but his focus is on her. Camera pans back to dog inching his way closer and closer to the guys ass, the woman comes over and squats down to admonish the dog but her face being near that stanky ass causes her to flush and back off without making any further eye contact. The main guy looks perplexed and his buddy says "Dude, you need to DOUCHE", and a picture of a bottle similar to a long neck beer bottle flashes on the screen but it's black with the MAN symbol and a picture of a chick wrapped around a stripper pole.

Scene starts over, same scenario, girl bends down and breaths deeply and smiles and guy has the look that he KNOWS he's scored. Voiceover chimes in....."When your ass smells like pit row of the Daytona 500 and your underwear has more skids than turn 4, ButtWeiser is there to smarten you up, When you say ButtWeiser, you've said it all".

Well done Din. I will be looking for this one next Super Bowl.

Oh, Holy Cow, that sounds like BAD news. My asscrack smells like ROSES afterwards--just ask them all.

Hopefully, you are a heterosexual, and therefore your bunghole doesn't even count. I'm not, and it does---backdoor stench is a deal-killer.

Good luck with the leaky sphincter

Two choices, NADP:

1. Go and live in the woods like a bear.

2. Get your ringpiece sealed up and a colostomy bag fitted.

Hey Nasty Ass,
Sounds like soap and water daily might be a good start. If it doesn’t, try twice daily. If you still reek after a couple of weeks of daily doubles, try Fabreeze or Lysol!

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Happy Crappin'
HomegrownMedia Network

Does anyone else think it might be due to more poops "just inside the backdoor?" Like there's another crap on deck that just didn't get evacuated? Another possibility?

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Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

Crap on deck, I like that one. Sounds like the baseball game from hell. We got shit at bat, crap on deck, and dookie in the hole.

woohoo!....Daphne in a thong! Still got it on my mind.

I have no idea where you, or that comment came from, AC...but I should warn you, that Daphne is a 423 lb, 4'3" bull dyke, currently on loan to us from the former Republic of East Germany weightlifting team. She (?) is part of an ongoing test regarding celery, cabbage, and grizzly bear (Ursus arctos horribilis) growth hormones. If you want to picture that in a thong, by all means, who am I to judge...just stay the fuck away from me...

In Daphne's defense, she isn't taking grizzly bear growth hormones. That was Roger Clemens (allegedly). She's taking the growth hormones from the Grizzly Bear Cactus (optunia polyacantha v. trichaphora), which is preferred by the veggies.
Oh, and AC that isn't a thong, just a pair of panties stretched to their limit.

NADP,

What you have may also be a condition known as pilonidal sinus. It's a form of abscess that occurs inside the gluteal fold. You should check that area for any areas where the skin is particularly red or inflamed, also keep an eye out for any discharge, specifically fluid that looks similar to what comes out of a zit when you pop it. It may be an early sign of a form of bacterial infection that can lead to abscesses in the axillary and groin regions. You should definitely consider seeing a doctor in person.

I'm not a doctor, I'm a librarian, I had to look up info for a patron on this topic recently. Just wanted to make sure you know, I am not a physician.

I had a pilonidal cystectomy many moons ago. I have had other surgeries, but this was the worst one by far. See a doctor, and don't worry about the toilet. I, for one don't sniff public toilet seats before I sit on them, and I'm sure many others are the same.

Shame on Bilgepump and Prarie, nasty American men. Blow my cover. How am I supposed to get good, strapping man when you tell gullible, nice American boy I am not attractive?
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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

ITs not that you aren't attractive Mein Frau, especially when you shave your chins and trim your ear hair....I just wanted our boy to not be deluded.

Delusion? Eh, not so bad.

In Ukraine, delusion is good.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

only because the vodka flows more freely than the
Volga River.

Hahaha butt stink! Stuff a bunch of dryer sheets in that crack, that should kill the oder de toilette!

Maybe someone will hurry up and invent a filter to wear in the back of underwear that takes care of all the bad odors.

It could be thin like a dryer sheet, adhesive like a maxi pad and would be able to absorb the stink particles from farts and such and release a pleasant smell instead.

It could be named "The Ironic Breeze".
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Always looking out for number two!

You're in luck, Motherload. This is close.

I like your name better.

THANK YOU ART!!! Now I can finally stop walking around with that big furnace filter bungee corded around my ass.