poopreport : Pooping Health :



do hemmorhoids smell?

Posted 02.24.2008 by Motherload (1071)
Hubby asks:

My wife is twenty-five and has had two children now. It's been about fifteen months since the last child and she still has hemorrhoids. She doesn't mind the hemorrhoids as much as the smell. We're pretty sure that it's the hemorrhoids that smell.

I guess the question is this: can hemorrhoids produce a foul odor? And if so, what causes it and what can be done to get rid of it?


Dear Hubby

Your wife has hemorrhoids. These are swollen veins in the ass -- not rosebuds, dear. They are gonna be somewhat stinky simply due to their location. Hemmies can actually keep the anus from closing completely which can allow some anal leakage; the can even just let the odor from the walls of the rectum seep out. There is shit in there on a regular basis you know, so it's gonna smell like shit.

Sitz baths might be beneficial to her. If not for the smell, they at least should be soothing to the 'roids and allow for some shrinkage. Witch-hazel ointments, medicated pads, Preparation-H cream and other over-the-counter medications can also be used to try to get rid of the hemorrhoids.

In the meantime, just simply wiping with a fresh-scented moist towelette and applying absorbent talcum powder or feminine deodorant spray might cut down the foulness.

Thanks for asking Motherload!

Motherload is a Certified Nurse Assistant as well as an IBS sufferer, which means she knows a lot about poop. Got a question for her? Ask it here.

phatmanxxl (532) -- 02.25.2008

Good ol Roids.

prarie doggin (4059) -- 02.25.2008

Ah, marriage. Did you ever think when dating that hot 19 year old, that this was in your near future? Seriously, put some witch hazel on a cloth, stick it back there and clamp your buns tighter than a prisoner taking his first shower. Try for about 5 minutes three times a day.

Anonymous Coward (not verified) -- 02.25.2008

mannn this is what makes me think about adopting instead of ruining the body of my hot future wife..hahha

Hieronymous Bowels (124) -- 02.25.2008

This is one of those things that is outrageously painful at first but then results in tremendous relief:Rubbing alcohol, if you can handle the five minutes or so of intense pain and burning the after-effect is God-blessed relief.

prarie doggin (4059) -- 02.25.2008

HB, you forgot to mention roughing it up with sandpaper first.

HowleyKook (127) -- 02.26.2008

If rubbing alcohol seems a little harsh try something a little milder, maybe Softscrub with Bleach. It'll leave a nice clean smell!
_______
Happy Crappin'
Homegrown Media Network

Turdsmith (not verified) -- 11.15.2008

If there's blood or mucus coming out, it makes great food for all those bacteria coming out of her butt. They help poop stink, so hemorrhoidal superfood can give a super stink.

She should her crack clean as well by washing it at the sink, to avoid getting an infection.

I had hemmies a few years ago and smelled like a tramp - even after a shower! Plugging the blood flow with a bit of toilet roll helped, although it was absolutely putrid by the time I changed it (every 4 hours). Thank poop it cleared up.

In the meantime, best use the front door!

Anonymous Coward (not verified) -- 03.08.2009

I'm a guy, and I got these annoying roids. I thought theid go away. Kept thinking ill be fine. Now im notecing,, that people around me are picking up the smell, and sucks.. Take frequient showers. Mine though, external and internal roids. I find there is no cure for this $@#$, best is surgery. Does any one know any of best healler for things? Prep H just makes it all greasy there, does help, not much though.

El Scumbag (610) -- 03.08.2009

Try different ointments. Anusol works for me. And wet wipes with aloe vera such as Huggies Natural Care. Very soothing.

Or you could just burn them off with a blowtorch.

ChiefThunderbutt (3216) -- 03.08.2009

Anonymous coward who posted early this morning, El Scumbag is correct, throw away your Preparation H, it's practically useless, and try some Anusol. You can put a dab of hydrocortisone on the Anusol before inserting it. Was your butt hole well with soap and water several times a day, particularly after taking a dump. Surgery should be a last resort, it is seldom successful in the long run.
_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Anonymous Coward (not verified) -- 03.19.2009

My boyfriend and I had sex last night and while preforming a trick....he smelled like rotten fish, I dont want to think he is cheating, but could this be due to roids? He is a frequent pooper like 5 times a day! So I ask the same question but in a diffrent form, can MEN smell like rotten va-jay-jay with roids?

ChiefThunderbutt (3216) -- 03.19.2009

After pondering the question a little more (can hemorrhoids smell) I have arrived at the following conclusion. When one has a painful hemorrhoid not only the act of pooping but also the act of wiping hurts. When something causes pain we are less inclined to do it. Perhaps a hemorrhoid rimmed butthole does not get the attention it really deserves post poop, thereby leaving it with a foul aroma. This is, I might add, merely conjecture on my part and no balloon knots were actually sniffed.
_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Squat-n-leaveit (629) -- 03.19.2009

AC, the answer to your question is no. If your desire is for fidelity, best find another boyfriend. Remember, the difference between love and herpes, is herpes is forever.

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