endless wiping

j 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb

Will asks:

When I Poop, I have to wipe and wipe and wipe. I always feel there is a bit more to wipe. Then ,the next time I poop its sore. Is there something I am eating that is making it so sticky?

Dear Will,

Thanks for the question.

You sound like you are preoccupied with your anus. I am not going to comment on the possible psychological implications of that issue right now. Lets deal with the immediate problem, and leave the deeper problems to just fester away in the background.

I would lay money on your dietary habits as the primary reason for the endless anal residue. Too much fat, not enough fiber. It's the old story...sigh. No one ever listens.

Drink more water. Eat less fat. Get plenty of fruits and vegetables. Experiment with different brands of TP to find the softest one that your bum can tolerate.

Then leave your anus alone to do its work in peace.

Please be advised that I am only a Poonurse. I am NOT a medical doctor. Any advice I give should be taken moderate skepticism. Please consult a REAL medical doctor if you feel you have a serious medical condition.

-- Poonurse

Poonurse is an RN with 25 years experience in labor and delivery. Her qualifications include seeing a lot of poop, and owning a computer. Also, she works in Michigan, which she calls the asshole of the universe, so that's another bit of credibility.

Got a question for her?

50 Comments on "endless wiping"

Slim Jim Junkie's picture

Also, maybe this person eats too many spices. Eating too much spicy stuff can lead to thousand-wipers and firey dumps that burn the anus.

Is it for real?'s picture

This person could have celiac - a life threatening disease that often goes unnoticed because of the embarASSment involved. Sorry for the pun.

furtive_pooper's picture

I was plagued with what I called "fudgy poo" until I started eating Nature's Path Optimum Power Breakfast and/or Optimum Slim cereals. One small serving has 40% of the fiber RDA, and (most importantly) these cereals taste good. I like to add some raisins for extra sweetness and extra fiber. Anyway, now my poo is like a Platonic ideal: bulky, predictably-timed, and leaving no trace of itself on the TP or on my buttcheeks. Best BMs I can ever remember having. Good luck!

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

I have had poo like this before, usually after I eat at a greasy restaurant.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

supsup's picture

Shave your ass. After a shave I wipe once and MAYBE twice if it's really messy. Shaving your ass serves two purposes: you wipe less and chicks like a shaved ass.

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Actually, I don't give a damn if a guy's ass is shaved. As long as it's clean.

Now a hairy back... That's another story. It's gross!

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

a_bit_anal's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

now i'm on a strict diet of no wheat, dairy or sugar...i still get the endless-wipers, and to top it all off i've got a bad case of asscrackitis now too. probably from excess wiping?
but you don't wanna just leave it! you have to wipe!

Lily's picture

The best wipe is with a damp washrag.You can stick your finger right up there and get it all out. And best of all, it's soft - not like toilet paper. Just rinse it well after each use and keep it separate from your real washrag and do throw it in your clorox wash occasionally.

The Big Wiper's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

"Endless Wiping"--ummm, wasn't that a movie starring Brooke Shields back in the Eighties?

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

Anonymous guy who likes to take it in the ass's picture

just shave,and enema.it's clean and feels good too.

Anonymous Coward's picture

I actually insert said finger in my said anus and in the shower amd literally pull said fecal material out of said anus..IT sounds nasty but it keeps my ass clean

cabezadecaca's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

I have to comment on this old subject because I too am a victim of extensive butt wiping. I have Toto toilets in my home and I have had to call the plumber six times in the past two years to have three toilet handles replaced and along with other toilet problems due to me abusing all the poor toilets with constant flushing and overstuffing it with massive amounts of TP.

I always have to take another shower every time I take a doody. I really need to invest in a bidet.

This past summer my basement was flooded with the raw sewage with all my poo. I ended up having to pitch my shop vac in the trash and buy another one. I felt sorry for the plumber.

thepoopmaster450's picture

from poopmaster450
the more fiber i eat the less i have to wipe. if get about the recomended fiber(25g) i shit like 2 times a day and both of them are clean shits and 1 or 2 wipes is enough. although sometimes i don't eat good food and i feel the effect the next day or 2 . if i eat nutin but junk and drink beer the shit next day is very messy and the amount of tp used gets ridiclous

from poopmaster450

poopyalien's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

You can get the flushable wipes at Wal-Mart now and they work like a charm. They're moist and at least one brand I've seen has aloe vera. One of those after a little TP and you're nice and clean and ready to rock! :-)

Fascinated but not obsessed :-)

Lily646's picture

What's worked for me is drinking a fiber powder every morning. I used to take fiber capsules, with no luck.

I use something called FiberWise that you can get from a membership company called Melalueca or you can get it off of eBay like I did. If you'd rather try something that's easier to get a hold of, I've heard Metamucil powder has similar effects. This is the original kind, NOT the smooth texture kind. I hope this helps some of you, because so far, I'm back to normal after a year of having this problem.

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

I have softer poops now than I used to have because of my high-water diet; however, I have found that I can get by with three sets of t.p., used and refolded for a total of 6 wipes, if I can dab some skin cleanser like Noxzema on the last wipe. It feels good, and I can stick that last bit of paper up my anus and get the last little stains off that way.

Anonymous Coward's picture

Iron give one sticky poo.

Anonymous Coward's picture

how does caffeine affect poo? i drink at least a pot to a pot and a half a day. does that affect poo consistency and endless wiping..

Anonymous Coward's picture

Wow. I had no idea that extra wiping like this took place. Eat Fiber!!!!!! Whole grain bread has like 6 grams per slice. I only every wipe more than once when i have diarrhea.

Hershey Squirt's picture

Fiber really does make a difference. So does dark chocolate. I don't know why. In the meantime, try Cottonelle Ultra or Ultra Soft Quilted Northern. Your tush will thank you.

Anonymous Coward's picture

I've always had this issue... and never really thought much about it. Then I decided to see if it was normal or not. The fiber thing is a really good point, gunna get some more of that in my diet asap. :)

Mrs. Mad Crapper's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

But I hate fiber!!!!!! doesn't chocolate and soda have fiber in it? and if not it really should!
Oops I did it again, I shit when I fart, I crapped in my pants.

Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

I_dont_flush's picture

I just wipe until its clean, but it seems that a half hour later it is a mess again... what the hell is wrong with me!!

Postman's picture
k 500+ points

Endless Wiping. Wasn't that the name of a Diana Ross song?

Russell's picture
l 100+ points

Hey, Charmen is the softest. That cheap brand just gets stuck to your hole

Russell the shitting queen

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Hi Russell....I am a cheap TP user. I purchase Member's Mark from Sam's by the case. It provides a good wipe and, as far as I can tell, does not stick to my hole.

Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

If I had two faces do you think I'd be wearing this one?

Anonymous Coward's picture

I have the same problem as I_dont_flush has... I go, I wipe until it's clean (which takes a while), but then I have to keep returning to the bathroom to wipe again later because it's no longer clean.

I also never feel "done" when i'm done. It always feels like there's more in there. I can't remember the last time I took a crap and felt like I was actually empty and done. It must have been many years ago when I was a kid.

What's my problem and what do I do about it?

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

AC: Try the modifications to your diet than can yield more solid poop; lots of suggestions here and elsewhere on this site for that. Until the changes take effect, try taking a few sheets of toilet paper, folded into one-sheet size, and, as you arise from your last wipe, stick that folded set of t.p. up into your crack against your anus before pulling up your underpants. Perhaps that wedge of t.p. can absorb whatever still leaks out and makes your anus unclean. But DO try diet changes.

Foreign wiper's picture

I've had this problem for years. Most of the time I take at least 20 minutes in the toilet and I end up sweating due to constant wiping in an endless routine. Sometimes up to 50 or 60 minutes with a sore asshole and wondering what the hell is going wrong.

Now I'm happy that I found out the real reason for my problem, my food habits are just like my asshole full of shit (lol), I definitely need to eat more dietary fiber and drink more water on a daily basis.

I can see that I'm not the only one in the world with this endless wiping thing... :o)

Big John Stud's picture

For years i just shit in the morning and take a shower without wiping and just wash my ass out in the shower.. saves tp and works much better.

Ibby Login Failure's picture

The sooner you grasp this truth, the better off you will be, for the rest of your life (which also can be extended quite a bit by adhering to this advice):

The consistency of what comes out your butt is directly proportional to the quality and ratio of the foods that go into your mouth.


Lemme give you a math equation to contemplate:
Fruits > non-starchy Veggies > starchy Veggies > Grains > Dairy > Nuts > Meat.

For optimal health (and best quality output) the daily human diet should consist of fresh food in quantities that resemble the above equation.

If you are eating mostly meat, dairy, and grains, with very little veggies and fruits each day--and certainly if most of what you eat comes straight from a jar, can, bag or box--then it should be no surprise at all that sludge is the result, as well as a multitude of other digestive and general health problems.

In fact, the health and poop problems are excellent indicators of how far from that ideal you have gotten. The worse the poop problems and/or the more health problems you have, the longer you have been eating badly, and you are now suffering the resulting damage.

(So sayeth Dr. Hay, creator of food combining.)

If you flip the switch to eating mostly fruits and veggies, AND ALSO going easy on the grains, dairy, and meat, you will very quickly notice a drastic improvement in the quality of your output (no more sticky runny million-wipers, just healthy solid one-wipers).

I can vouch for that! I went from 5 solid years of having daily diarrhea (IBS-D) to firm, well-formed clean-wipers literally OVERNIGHT.

As you continue to eat that way without reverting back to old eating habits (which caused the poop problems in the first place), you will start to notice other healing changes in your body as well, including automatic, effortless weight loss.

For me so far: no more carpal tunnel, arthritis, chronic swelling/pain in joints; I've lost 36 pounds, a chin, and 3 dress sizes; I feel and look better and younger than I did just 5 months ago... and this process isn't showing signs of slowing or stopping anytime soon.

If you continue to eat that way for one solid year, you will become almost completely free of any and all illness, chronic conditions, allergies, asthma... even colds won't be able to get a hold on you because your body will be in such a solid alkaline state that no invaders can flourish.

All the other non-foreign-invader problems fade because they ALL stem from one cause: acid in the body.

Read up on food combining and the work of Dr. William Howard Hay, and you'll become a believer too.

KawaiiUnchi's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

If your poo is actually sticky, then yes its def diet related. What you put in is what you get out.

On top of that maybe you should reconsider whipping as your method of toilet hygiene. If you don't actually have a dietary issue, I wouldn't blame your desire for a truly clean anus on a psychological issue, to suggest that only people with issues are anal about a clean anus is just...wrong in so many ways. Try a bidet attachment for your toilet like Rim Bidet, Bidex, USA Bidet or many many more that are available on the market. If not a bidet try wet wipes instead of dry tissue which can never truly get you clean.

A good buttsink shouldn't be the answer when you can't wipe, wiping should be the answer when you absolutely can't buttsink.

A good buttsink shouldn't be the answer when you can't wipe, wiping should be the answer when you absolutely can't buttsink.

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

KawaiiUnchi wrote:"On top of that maybe you should reconsider whipping as your method of toilet hygiene."

While entertaining and fun, whipping is not a very effective method of ass cleansing. Wiping works ok, and bathing is always the most effective, just not always practical.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

smarter wiper's picture

One other thing. If you KNOW you're gonna have some trouble, i.e. you had some food the night before that was so fiery that it made you cry and your nose run, always have a large tub of either Vaseline or aqueous cream in the toilet. Apply the stuff liberally before you sit down; this will protect you from the ensuing 16,000,000 scoville scale eruption and will make for a much cleaner and less painful wipe afterwards.

DragonAgeMage's picture

Oh man, I've had this problem for like 5 years now and it sucks! I'm 22 and I don't know why it started happening. I go, and wipe, which takes a while, then am clean, then go and do other things. Half an hour later I am itching down there and have to wipe again. It sucks so bad, cuz then I'm sore and it hurts and itches even more. I've showered after and that works great, but when I graduate from college and start working full time and have to take a shit I don't know what I'm going to do... and I'm embarrassed to tell my girlfriend so it's like this big secret I'm hiding! I'll try the disposable toilet wipes though thanks everyone!

IBS NO MORE's picture
k 500+ points

Dragon -- Do these two things and your problem will go away forever:

1. Stop eating carbs (starchy or sweet foods) in the same meal together with animal proteins (eggs, meat, cheese), and
2. Start eating more fresh fruits and non-starchy vegetables.

Open your eyes AND your mind to the power of food!
Health via Food (scroll down to read by chapter)

When you say the word “poop,” your mouth makes the same motion your butthole does when pooping…
The same can be said for the phrase “explosive diarrhea.”

Stool Ranger's picture

Hello all, Today I experienced yet another TP and time consuming endless wiper. I was in a public church bathroom that has an open basketball court.. and ran out of toilet paper. Shame and discomfort followed as I played through the next game with the feeling of leftover fecal remains in my anus. I'm drawing the line. I want this to go away. The problem has been going on for about 2 months now not quite every time but enough to where I'm getting annoyed. I think a major problem may be that I eat fast food about 4-5 times per week...Its just so cheap and I'm in college and poor. Also I'd like to know what are good and bad food combinations. One variable may be that I drink coffee about everyday now too, but I thought that just sped up the process?

Anonymous Coward's picture

I find that some foods seem to contain coloring that inevitably passes all the way through and makes it hard to wipe clean.

Chocolate items, especially brownies, are public enemy #1 in this case.

Red velvet cupcakes even made me fear I was bleeding out the ass.

Anonymous Coward's picture

I've had excessive butt wiping for many years I could wipe for about quarter of a roll of tp to finally get clean then a half hour later I feel discomfort down there and wipe more kinda wet. So I now take a poop, wipe then hit the shower I use a puff with mild soap and rub and push a piece of the puff with my index finger in my butt and I notice a lot of brown on the puff I do this 3 times until clean and no more seepage. My poop is sticky as it leaves skid marks can someone suggest what I can eat for breakfast and lunch at work? I drink coffee with egg whites on ww toast and for lunch I eat pizza fast food or ham sandwiches

Receptacle's picture

This is the funniest Poop I've ever heard. I wish I had found this website back in 2007! Basically, lay off the beer. If you must drink. Drink mixed drinks. Bag balm will releive the pain if you rub your ass raw. Also stop touching yourself down there.

mr. clean-hole's picture

charmin freshmates work really well also raisin bran helps

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

mr. clean-hole ... You wipe your ass with raisin bran? Isn't that a little scratchy?

Dirty old men need love too!!

If I had two faces do you think I'd be wearing this one?

Anomalous Coward's picture
k 500+ points

Chief - I use plain bran flakes to wipe my ass. The raisins swell when they get stuck. Ever have rehydrated grape dingleberries? Bad shit, dude.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

They would look like engorged ticks around the asshole. Our dog used to get those and no one wanted to pull them off.

Dirty old men need love too!!

If I had two faces do you think I'd be wearing this one?

the thin brown line's picture
j 1000+ points

"Whole Rollers"...a loose confederation of poopers who use up a roll of Scott-tissue during a sitting. Ouchey!!!

Somethin' mysterious made an exit from the gift shop.

Shitzalotamus's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

I saw a comment that mentioned Celiacs disease as a possibility of endless wiping.
I've had celiacs (or was diagnosed, at least) since I was 16, and I've NEVER heard of itchy bungholes and never-ending wiping being linked to this. This scenario is fairly common with everyone. No need to scare the man with a gluten-free diet. It's unpleasant. Just do what poonurse told you to, and you'll be golden.
Yes, I realize this is an old topic, but I needed to clear the celiacs issue up.

Anonymous's picture

Yeah..... I have to wipe endlessly too. What causes it? Reply please :P

Anonymous's picture

Just try whole oatmeal everyday (3 Tbs) and that'll do it for the day, when it comes to this problem. You can have it with shakes, yogurt, orange juice, tea, etc.

Anonymous's picture

I have the same problem with endless wiping. I wet the toilet paper at the sink and then wipe using significant pressure on my anus. I use AngelSoft toilet paper, btw.

Anonymous's picture

I never had this problem when I was eating junk. Now I'm into my fifth month of a low-calorie diet and I still have this problem WAY too often. I do eat a fair amount of dairy but it's nonfat for the most part. The fat I get is from the olive oil I cook with. I don't eat much meat. I guess I need more fiber. Ugh. I do eat veggies but I can't do raw and I'm allergic to most raw fruit. I've just started taking Phillips Fiber Gummies, which just seem to give me noisy gas.

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