dangers of ass fingering

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j 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb
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Maink asks:

Dear sir,

I 28 year old man. I love fingring in my asshole (Sorry for be straight) using bathing soap. After doing it for a long time I feel very relax as my stometch gets emty by doing it. If i continues it (fingring) for long time some white liquid comes out from my ass, is it normal? some time i use to test it (the whit liquit) also. Kindly let me know if it is normal? Can this harm me? How many people goes through it?





Dear Maink,

First of all, I am NOT a man, despite what everyone else says.

Apparently, I have led a very sexually sheltered life up until I got involved with PoopReport. Fingering of the asshole for hours with bathroom soap is not something to which I have personally ever been exposed; so I will have to take some liberties with my answer here.

I am guessing that by saying "my stomach gets empty" after doing this, you mean you moved your bowels, right? Just trying to be sure we are on the same page here. Putting bathroom soap up your ass will do this to a person, I'm pretty sure about that part.

Here's where it all gets fuzzy -- apparently, after doing it (the fingering) for a long time, white liquid comes out of your ass, and you sometimes "test" it (I am suspiciously afraid you meant to say "taste" it).

I have no idea what the white liquid is (could just be mucus or something) but I don't even like to think about it too much.

"Is this normal?"

God knows after this long on PoopReport, I have no idea anymore what normal is.

"Can this harm me?"

Any time you taste something white that comes out of your ass, I would have to hazard a guess that yes, it could harm you.

"How many people goes through this?"

One.

Thanks for asking Poonurse!

Please be advised that I am only a Poonurse. I am NOT a medical doctor. Any advice I give should be taken moderate skepticism. Please consult a REAL medical doctor if you feel you have a serious medical condition.

-- Poonurse

Poonurse is an RN with 25 years experience in labor and delivery. Her qualifications include seeing a lot of poop, and owning a computer. Also, she works in Michigan, which she calls the asshole of the universe, so that's another bit of credibility.

Got a question for her?

226 Comments on "dangers of ass fingering"

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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Nasty!

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points
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My dog's poo sometimes comes out with white goo on it, and the vet said it's just some sort of mucus that the bowel will produce from time to time in response to a new food in the poop.
Could this be for me, also?

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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I don't know. But I do know that when I have a bad cold I end up with snot in my turds.

Man I HATE colds!

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

.'s picture
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poop=food

DR.Paul Recher's picture
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Sound slike the white stuff could be the soap he is useing!?!?

He has obviously discovered that which some men and hardly any women know: The prostrate is the male 'G-spot'!

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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What I don't understand is why someone puts soap on their finger and sticks it up their ass. Wouldn't that burn like hell?

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

lumpy's picture
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My research shows that soap can cause inflamation and/or swelling, and irritation. It depends on if the soap is shampoo, bar soap, or hand soap. Finger nails are also a danger as they scratch the mucodial tissue. Fingers are great for constipation too.

Tori's picture
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i don't know much about stuff....anyway whats a "G-Spot"?

Fart treck's picture
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Poo nurse what he does to his but cannot harm "you" heeehheeeeheeee!

Fart Poopie's picture
j 1000+ points
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This man must be single.

poomaster45's picture
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hey umm can ass fingering harm your ass in any way ?

Corn in Poo's picture
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This whole field is new to me, sounds abit sh*t

poomaster45's picture
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umm yeah same here i finger my ass and recently the outer sphincter seems to be weaker any ideas if i should see a doctor or why this is hapening ?

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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No. Just stop fingering your ass!

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

¿?¿?¿?'s picture
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can i get my foot stuck in the toy-lit(I cant reach)

wow some ppl can u try and let me no

wow ok never again
this site is joks

grace and matt's picture
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dear poo nurse,
we adore your blunt honesty, canada loves you. we suggest you run for prime minister or something, you can , unlike our prime minister, put up with a lot of shit. thank you poo nurse, thank you.

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points
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Is tori serious about the G Spot? Wow. I love mine. You should find yours.

It just occurred to me after reading this that the white stuff could be soap suds. You never know......hugging bunnies since 1969

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Anonymous Coward's picture
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yeah mee to i finger my ass and it seemed to get weaker for some reason any reson why

Male lesbian's picture
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I used to try to loosen up my ring o' darkness b/c i'm interested in marrying a girl who used to only like girls. [background: she prefers the role of strap-on wearer, and dislikes penetration]. So i assumed i needed to take one for the team if i was gonna keep her. Without telling her, i tried to get ready for what i'd have to do to keep her feeling "at home" if you will, and in fact, i already kind of liked it a bit.

But guys, i went a bit too far and now my sphincter don't work quite the way it used to. It was designed to be a one-way road and now it's easily agitated. I get diaper rash frequently and it frequently feels like it's on fire when i'm walking around at work or on college campus. Some days the discomfort catches me off guard so bad i wanna double over and collapse to my knees -- i've actually done it a couple of times in public actually and regained composure as quickly as possible.

Don't abuse the southern canal, guys. God made it a one way road for a reason and He'll let you suffer a bit if you bite from a naturally forbidden fruit.

Finger Fun's picture
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I wouldn't use soap in my ass - you are guaranteed a little "squirt" in the pants! Hair conditioner is a much better choice, and the girls like it too!

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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Jesus Christ, people! If you must finger your damn ass at least us K-Y Jelly. It's designed to go in holes in your body!

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

Junk In My Trunk's picture
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I think you should rinse out your asshole often, I heard it's good. =D

Anonymous Coward Number 2's picture
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wtf? Lol... how many people go through this? Just you. ahaha!

Bunghole In the Jungle's picture
l 100+ points
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Maink, Dude, I don't know if you're still a PR reader.

Eating feces can definitely be a health hazard. The white stuff you're referring to sounds as though it's probably soap residue.

Lots of males enjoy anal stimulation--it's nothing to be ashamed of--the prostate gland is in very close proximity to the anus and is considered the male counterpart to the female clitoris (although if you want to give your lady the really big "O" slight penetration with concentration on the front wall of the vagina will absolutely do the trick.)

Best of luck to you and hope you solve your issues.

keeping the whack in tally-ho...
Fartuituos!
Serenshittipy!

Anonymous Coward's picture
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soap, why that? It gives so many kind of creams!

Anal Avenger's picture
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I use to slide the soap in every now and then - hated the stinky finger though - best to ram a KY coated butt plug in there, this may lead to a stretched gapping & saggy sphinct though.

healthy 1's picture
j 1000+ points
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Ouch and Nasty :-&. Doesn't the soap make your ass gripe and burn?

Yes, fingering can damage the spinchter.

The bottom (no pun intended) line is, this is just plain unsanitary.

STOP DOING THIS TO YOURSELVES PEOPLE.
_______
Born to clog your bog, with a giant log.

"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

advice's picture
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don't worry my friend about your nice finger-story..i think many people in the world does it..so just ask a doctor if it can HURT YOU...
i never did it by my self but when a girl does it with toungue and finger ...i'm very happy !!
so if you discovered that this practice makes empty stomach ..advice it to some fat friends..can be a solution!!!

Anonymous Coward's picture
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guys ass fingering is not a way to go leave ur ass alone let the poop come out. and leave it at that and yes u can hurt urself by getting anal leakage

Ass Gaper's picture
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I heard ass fingering can kill you. UL!

Anonymous Coward's picture
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you should try using a lubricant which is designed for the function.

soap is not at the same pH as your intestinal tract and putting it up there will cause inflammation, just stop using soap. Buy a water based lubricant or something which is pH neutral.

If you have such a fascination with your bodily functions, perhaps you should visit a fetish forum, they may be able to help you with choices on your sexual exploits and prevent any unnecessary mistakes.

the answer's picture
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I have the solution to your problems maink....

STOP STICKING YOUR FINGER UP YOUR BUTT AND GET HELP!!!

(what do you accomplish from this?)

Anonymous Coward's picture
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what if after fingering ur ass i bleeds a little

Anonymous Coward's picture
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Umm well if you finger ur ass with soap and ur ass hole alone starts to hurt is it just infected and will go away or are you seriously fucked ?

Anonymous Coward's picture
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For those of you who are telling him to just stop, I think it would be best for you to stop forcing your opinions on others. Fingering your ass doesn't do any damage as long as the lubricant you use doesn't harm you, or unless you have abnormally sharp nails for some reason. I've been using things bigger than fingers for nearly 3 years and to this day I haven't had a single problem down there.

Frank2401's picture
l 100+ points
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_Anonymous Coward, -It's only a matter of time...______

Anonymous Coward's picture
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There is nothing wrong with anal stimulation, does not mean you are single, does not mean you are gay, it just means that you enjoy masturbation in a non-conventional sort of way. All things practiced within reason should not lead to any medical problems. Use a water based lubricant if you are going to continue stimulating your G-spot, this way you are safe. Wash your hands when finished and do not taste anything that comes out of your ass, that region is heavily loaded with bacteria that you would otherwise want to expel and not place back in to the system via your mouth.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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why does my poo sometimes hav sesame seeds in it

Digging too deep's picture
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Is it possible/Does it happen often to feel a turd when you stick your finger up someones bum or is that some textured body part?

Anonymous Coward's picture
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Good GOD are you all for real !!!.
1.Get an Anal douch and wash it out,before you start.
2. Get some lube that is meant to go up there NOT soap or hair conditioner.
I like Super Silk a little goes a long way and it is not sticky.
KY Jelly gives me a burning sensation which is definately not what I want.
Guys your prostate is your GSpot ,with practice you will be able to have an orgasm without ejaculation.
My partner loves me fingering him.
I am female btw.
I also get lots of pleasure from him fingering my ass during oral.
P.S. If you plan sticking anything else up there make sure it has a wide base as it can be sucked in and you may end up having an embarresing trip to hospital.
There are toys specifically designed for anal if you have not used one before start small.

Port-A-Shitter's picture
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is it possible to poop too much or not enough?

Anonymous Coward's picture
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I know you should use lubricant but... -n00b-...is it okay to use your own saliva?

Ive been fingering my ass for quite a while now that way........

Anonymous Coward's picture
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Is it bad to use vaseline?

Butt Virgin's picture
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maybe your analien and your blood is white and your bleeding. BTW did ya like the anal-ien bit, I left the space out on purpose.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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i like fingering,and licking girls butts as long as ya keep ya finger nails smooth and round u will find out she likes it, so i dont see any problem it stick ya finger up there see what happens if she poots on ya dont laugh. if her ass is tight just easyly work it loose be gentle at first dont go rippin in. ive also heard a good cock in a girls ass makes them have a good bowel movement they seem to like it plus it cleans them out later. i wouldnt be stickin any soap bars up there sounds kinda dangerous what id the soap bar slips up in there ands u cant remove it,desolve and burn like hell lol.good luck tell your girl friend to clean her ass out u gonna lick it tonight:)

worried gf's picture
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My boyfriend heard that if a girl (or guy for that matter) gets it in the ass it gives you diarea if the guy doesn't cum or constipation if he does it. I have been talking alot about doing it with my bf...just something new to try and this is why he won't do it to me so can I tell him this is wrong?

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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Well, Worried, lets give it a try, and if the results work for you, then you can tell your boyfriend whatever you want.
_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

foreign shitty mc fuck fuck's picture
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dear shit doctor,
after fingering my asshole for a while some brown fluid shoots out but it is not diarehea, mixed with some of the white fluid MAINK is mentioning. is he an imigrant? i because one am. america beautiful country is very. back to my story, eh? this fluid sometimes comes out with green balls that slightly looks like goya beans, did you know goya top sellers my country is ? we eat goya beans 69/7 however you americans say. they make your bowels move like gypsies on a scooter. i need to get to the point because my prostitue is coming soon, you know.. she my sister, she lookeh like borat. she holds my balls likeh the goya beans. its wonderful, oh it tickle too like niagra falls. niagra beautiful very. i go there so much to butt finger myself on the maid of this mist. the water shoots up my butthole, and makes my farts wet. i shoot my fart out with water, (true story.) it reminds me of my home cave. i make friends with the animals, i make friends with llama sometimes. i name her laqueefa. she makeh feel goood. feel good all the time. one time i stick raccoon up my ass, it feel fuzzy. then i poop hairs and i keep them to put on the tape that scares away mosquitoes. it makeh my cave smell great. shit doctor, i want to meet you one day. please you make miracles happen. perhaps i could let you smell my finger, to prove all that i have sed. i have to go take a shower, my son sefalo will lick me clean. i need back waxing done, i have my llama give me bikini wax. we use llama cum as wax. well shit doctor, nice chatting with you, you make great gypsy someday. have time nice on toilet o Key?

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
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I would think that ass fingering would be less of a problem than ass petering.

_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Artful Dodger's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorl 100+ points
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I can't believe no one's mentioned the #1 danger associated with practice of ass fingering...stinky finger.

kimberly summers's picture
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EVEYRTIME I GO TO RESTROOM TO TAKE A SH@#% nasty fatty matterial comes out somewhat like wax it looks pretty nasty so im wondering do any of you know why

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
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Dear Kimberly,

If you will tell me what a
SH@#% is I will try to help you.

_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Poo Racoon's picture
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Also clean around the poopie area when finished . PLEASE CLEAN UR HANDS! if u dont IT CAN LEAD TO STAPH INFECTION

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
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The biggest danger of ass fingering would be to others, especially if you work in food preparation. Wash that finger!!!

_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points
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Kimberley, unless you scarfed down the candles along with the cake, it's probably not wax.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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I Think u need help i would go see a doctor if i even had forts about sticking soap in my ass. it is not healthy the bum hole was made to get stuff out of your body and not for stuff to go in its up to you wht u do but i would get some help.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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wtf is wrong with you guys putting shit up your ass

diarrheenies's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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It is perfectly normal to enjoy anal pleasure, but I would suggest using a commercial lubricant, such as KY Jelly (or at least Petroleum Jelly) and seeing if the white stuff still comes out.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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If you finger your-self- every so often, and you begin to poop, is that normal?

Vanilla Dolphin's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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This is almost as twisted and depraved as that whole 'Gunpowder Enema' thing a while back. I think that, instead of petroleum jely, as diarrheenies has suggested, the guy should use straight petroleum, and touch it off with a match for an explosive 'finish.'

_______
"...I once ate a roadkill possum that had been raised on a diet of carp. I cooked it over a fire fueled with old tires and dog shit. [My fart] put to shame the sewers of Calcutta."
- ChiefThunderbutt

"...I once ate a roadkill possum that had been raised on a diet of carp. I cooked it over a fire fueled with old tires and dog shit. [My fart] put to shame the sewers of Calcutta."
- ChiefThunderbutt

turdfan's picture
l 100+ points
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I've heard that a lot of guys sometimes enjoy having their significant others gently give them a rectal massage,so to speak. I think I would also enjoy that. Too bad I didn't think of it when I was much younger.

baron von crapalot's picture
k 500+ points
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There once was an ad. that ran on the T.V. in the U.K. Circa 1975 who's tag line (sung merrily) was;

"A finger of Fudge is just enough to give your kids a treat"

Cadbury's Chocolate Fudge.

Just thought I'd throw that into the melting pot.
_______
Did I just fart?.... Oh shit! NO!!

I hope to god I've just sat in a Shepard's pie.

Brown Panty Raid's picture
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its all good...try a bit of Ben-Gay up the old poop shute...

You definately will enjoy yourself, trust me!

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points
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Care for a Moon Pie BVC?

baron von crapalot's picture
k 500+ points
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Dunno what one of those is, butt there is a reference to them in Stephen Kings 'The Green Mile'

Don't think I could fit one up my tradesmans thought.

_______
Did I just fart?.... Oh shit! NO!!

I hope to god I've just sat in a Shepard's pie.

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points
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Chief, oh Chief. BVC doesn't know what a Moon Pie is. Can you take it from here?

baron von crapalot's picture
k 500+ points
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It's not my fault I had a sheltered upbringing, with servants at my every beck and call. Do you know I was 11 years old when I finally worked out what my manservant was doing 'back there' every time I crapped! I got a bedae now though, Its a mini version of the fountain in trafalgar square._______
Did I just fart?.... Oh shit! NO!!

I hope to god I've just sat in a Shepard's pie.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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i cant believe this site... lol

A guy here for laughs's picture
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i love this "...I once ate a roadkill possum that had been raised on a diet of carp. I cooked it over a fire fueled with old tires and dog shit. [My fart] put to shame the sewers of Calcutta." so good man! also its probably soap that caused your problem, because ive analed before and one time i used soap and that happened then i didnt and everything was fine so its probably the soap

wangcar's picture
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i love arse fingering, feels good, ive used my own spit and vaseline to lubricate before, word of advice though dont masturbate with a spray can the lid comes off, i was unfortuante for this to happen to me, but luckily i mansged to pull it out so no embrrising trip to the hospital

Transit Time's picture
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As a newcomer to this site, which apparently prides itself on shamelessness where poop is concerned, I'm surprised to see so much anxiety expressed in these comments around anal pleasure. Also, aren't any of the gay or lesbian contributors to this site bothered by the homophobia expressed in so many of the comments? Or is poopreport more or less for straights only?

Raggedmama's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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Just to point out - putting soap up the dirtpipe isn't necessarily dangerous. Maybe there's some confusion here because people have been talking about BARS of soap going up the dirt pipe - which is obviously NOT OK! Also I don't think soap ought to be used on a very frequent basis as part of anal masturbation/anal sex routines.
But I learned at an early age how slivers of plain ivory or glycerine soap are very effective as suppositories for constipation.
They'll irritate the rectum but won't chronically inflame it. My parents took "soap sticks" themselves (as well as giving them to us!) and I'm the same. (In fact just recently I had to give one to my little girl when she was constipated again).
It's just a shame that most of the soaps you see in shops that are "conceptually" suited to anal insertion are not chemically suitable. I learned the hard way: any soap with any added perfume is likely to contain chemicals that will make your shithole very sore indeed. (And cause you to strain hard to get it out, opening your fissures or giving you new ones!)
That "squidgy" soap which ought to be ideal for fashioning suppositories is absolutely not for anal insertion. Ditto, you can't use the "poop soap" to make yourself do poop, and the "face/arse" soap is only usable on the first of those bodily areas.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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Neat

Ward's picture
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gagging your ass till it throws up!...the soap makes it wirse, you use soap to heighten the effectiveness of an enema

Anonymous Coward's picture
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I doubt that the external sphincter will get slack through fingering your bottom, ie pushing your finger up inside you. I expect the appearance of slackness that you mention is due to the relaxation of the sphincter as it has become accustomed to having your finger inserted into it especially if (as I expect) you are gentle.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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Personal experience ramming my ass pretty good with sex toys, if you've cleared yourself out of fecal matter, your ass will generate some kind of mucus, yes. And yes, it is rather white I would say.

Sometimes I see a bit of the stuff streaked along my logs of shit before I flush them, too. Just the body's way of making sure the stuff will move smoothly out of your butt, I guess.

As for tasting it? Ass to mouth stuff is done by porn stars all the time. I wouldn't go so far as to call it safe, but you gotta figure it's safER to put something that just came out of your ass into your mouth if all you see is the white stuff compared to if there's any brown there.

Anal says wat's picture
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I think u people should stick to rubbing the clit

paddy backwards's picture
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Right lads ! Anything that gives you pleasure is all good end of. I would love it if my wife would finger my ass and rim me but she wont coz of the smell ! I always finger and rim her though ! I am careful and clean at all times. ENJOY !

Blind Mullet's picture
k 500+ points
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Transit Time mentions the word "homophobia".
What the hell kind of bullshit word is "homophobia" anyway? Break it down into its two constituents: The prefix "homo" comes from the Greeks, and means "as one", as in "homogenised", homologated", "homonym", etc.
A Phobia is an irrational fear.
Therefore this bullshit word "homophobia" must mean "an irrational fear of oneself".
Is a homophobe afraid to look in the mirror, or what???
...(excuse me, I have to go recalibrate the poofterometer. Can't be too careful now, can we?).

_______
I don't bite my nails, 'cause I don't like the taste of whats under 'em.

The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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what the original poster is refering to is prostate milking (google it, you might be surprised) or not!
This is the male equivalent of a G-spot and will produce a discharge and a heighted orgasim so they say. The most important thing about fingering is to have lube (not soap) its an irritant, clean finger, trim nails or better yet use a condom to prevent scratching colon. If you want a perfect a-hole you have to treat it with repect.

El Scumbag's picture
k 500+ points
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Hope all's safe with you and your loved ones BM. Must be pretty scary out there.

As for probing the poopchute with whatever proboscis is available (fingers, tongue, tallywhacker, etc), well I quite enjoy undertaking such activities with a willing and freshly clean lady such as my girlfriend, but I have to be in the driving seat, to to speak. I have no desire to have anything inserted into my own Khyber, thanks very much. A lubed and gentle finger can be pleasant, certainly, and there is no doubt that pleasure can be acheived from anal insertion, but I don't really find that it's something I specifically desire. I believe that at if a chap has thoughts in that area, then one should at least try a little bumplay, and if it's something that delights and inspires, then bravo and have lots of splendid arsefun accordingly. But if it does not, then it's not important as there are many other sexual avenues along which to perambulate together. In my current relationship for example, my good lady takes great pleasure from bumfun herself, but has no desire to insert her fingers, tongue or anything else into MY chod-bin, for which I'm gratified. If only because she has long fingernails, coupled with the small matter of my piles, which makes the prospect an unappealing one for us both.

Blind Mullet's picture
k 500+ points
0
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El Scumbag,
are you a reader of Britain's leading toilet grin-mag, 'Viz', perchance?
_______
I don't bite my nails, 'cause I don't like the taste of whats under 'em.

The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

El Scumbag's picture
k 500+ points
0
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Oh yes. Can't you tell? I know, it was the wrong use of 'chod bin' wasn't it? Damn! Well, I've not been awake for long, old chap.

I'm even put a number of definitions in the profanisaurus, although I have yet to receive any what should be at least 10 pencils by now. I suspect that they don't actually exist.

Blind Mullet's picture
k 500+ points
0
0

No, no, I think you've used the term 'chod-bin' in it's correct context.
If theres any doubt, you could always ask Professor you-know-who, of St. Arseholes College.
_______
I don't bite my nails, 'cause I don't like the taste of whats under 'em.

The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

Thunderbox's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points
0
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This would be a case for the Bottom Inspectors.

The voice of sanity

Anonymous Coward's picture
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this site is fuckin crazy

ChiliKahKah's picture
j 1000+ points
0
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Next time, try either lava soap or boraxo. That should cure you of this little habit.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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damn.. everybody that practices ass fingering here seems to like it.. you guys are making me think about it, maybe ill let my girlfrind stick her tongue in my ass hole tonight

Anonymous Coward's picture
0
0

i love fingering my ass before and durning a shit, its the simple things in life thats worth living, just nice soft toilet paper and not the actually finger.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
0
0

Dear Anonymous Coward.04.29.2009
Your comment does not make a lot of sense, is it the finger or the toilet paper that thrills you so? Next time your parents are out and you have access to the PC please come back and clarify. I sincerely hope none of the words I used were incomprehensible to you.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

shittin'kitten's picture
0
0

it's been a long time since I laughed THIS hard!! ....my real question is for one of the comments....... you've anally dinged yourself with a spray can?? of what? why?? holy crap people a sex toy and some lube will run you $30... think about it. all I can see when I close my eyes now is some poor bastard ramming himself with a can of spray paint then frantic over the plastic cap left inside. if only he'd thought to use one of the cans you have to use a screwdriver to pop the safety cap off! oh god....the horror ....and the laughter.. imma have a seizure in a second!

Deja Poo's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points
0
0

Hey, Maink. I'm having a hard time imagining all of this. Do you think that you could make a video and post it on you tube. I'm especially confused about the "taste test" portion. don't forget close ups of the white ooze!
_______
Yo quiero Taco Bell.

Yo quiero Taco Bell.

Russell's picture
l 100+ points
0
0

Yeah sticking soap up your ass must burn like hell, you know. Ass fingering is disgusting.
_______
Russell the shitting queen

Russell the shitting queen

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
0
0

Russell.......As a child I was subjected to periodic enemas with a castile soap solution. There was no burning sensation, just an unpleasant feeling of fullness and the humiliation that went with the process. Enemas were once thought to be good therapy for practically everything. I suppose that a less gentile soap, Tide laundry detergent, Lava hand soap or other such harsh products might be somewhat irritating to the old poop chute.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Anonymous Coward's picture
0
0

it is probly soap tht gathered up ur shitter u minger

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
0
0

Uh.....WHAT????

Try English next time.


_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

ChiliKahKah's picture
j 1000+ points
0
0

Try using Irish Spring, then you can feel more manly about this idea.

I_like_to_finger's picture
0
0

I use saliva to finger my ass.
seems to work fine
man that prostate is sooooo good :)
manik, you should probably not eat shit out of your ass (no vulgar pun intended), because thats just not healthy

I googled this shit's picture
0
0

this is like the best thing i've googled in a LONG time! lol

bogart's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
0
0


_______
BOGART the mafabuwab

Whoever posted the original story is certainly lacking in basic grammar skills. Therefore my point is, is that its probably a kid trying to get off on another immature and absolutely vile story. Kids certainly do have quite the "imaginations" these days.

BOGART the mafabuwab

i also googled this's picture
0
0

LOL omg this is funny

ashlyn63852's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
0
0

ok wow i was tostory : just to let you know i am ashlyn the sister right now not my brother i share tis account with my bro ok his name is joey

ok i have to poo all the time i dont know why i poo atlest like 3 times a day. And it just comes i never have to push hard. but the other day i didnt poo at all and i didnt the next day either. i got worried. so i went to my doctor (ok i am very worried about my health i dont know why but i am) aneyway i made an appontment i was sceulded on monday. well it was sunday so i figured if i craped today i would just cancel. but unfortunley i didnt. so i went to the doctor the next day i got there and he told me to take my pants off i did he wanted cheek me for brest cancer while i was there. so i took my shirt off as he felt me i felt like i was being raped. then he told me there was no problem with my brests and went ahed and put gloves on and told me to bend over in football position. he stuck his finger up my butt and it felt rather nastey with a mand finger up my butt hole. i felt his finger roling around it felt like a terd roling arounf in my butt he took it out and told me everything was fine i had just pooped alot because i ate alot the more consumed the more i pooped so he told me to go eat something and i would be fine so yea thats what happed to me
i was shocked and by the way that was gross

ok wow i was totlay shocked and by the way that was gross

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points
0
0

ashlyn63852, to the nearest dozen or so, how many standing eight counts have you had in the last year?

Postman's picture
k 500+ points
0
0

I'm guessing at least 20.

Blind Mullet's picture
k 500+ points
0
0

I've got it!
Why she can't poop?

The vacuum in her head is holding it in.

_______
The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

ashlyn63852's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
0
0

omg you people are so frigin mean to people ok i have 1 account you all are just friggin butt holes yourselfevs !!!! gosh !!! :( :( :p

ok wow i was totlay shocked and by the way that was gross

poopoo123's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
0
0

i agree postman

shamefull poop is amazing

Blind Mullet's picture
k 500+ points
0
0

Ashlyn, has anybody shown you how spell check works?
You know- when you get a squiggly red line under a word?
Just trying to help (in an Antipodean way).
I don't want you to think I'm a butt hole myselfevs...
Gosh!!!
_______
The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points
0
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I've read your comments, poopoo123, and would be willing to bet you've had a few standing eights yourself.

Ashlyn, welcome to Poopreport, and I'm glad you have an account. Don't take the teasing to heart so much.

If you use Internet Explorer, you can download an add-in here on this link that gives you a spellcheck. You have to right click on the text box before submitting it to be posted, and 'check spelling' will be an option.

If you use Mozilla Firefox, you can find their spellcheck here on this link. This one will automatically highlight misspelled words.

If you need any help downloading them, let me know. You can email me by clicking on my name link and then chosing the 'contact' option.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
0
0

Ashlind, this is a poop humour site. Don't take these guys seriously as they mean no harm. As long as you refrain from using Capital letters, periods and commas, you are going to get ragged alot. Of course your spelling will get you ragged, as well.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

for now and always i love boners's picture
0
0

how do u finger ur dick?

Anonymous Coward's picture
0
0

yes, I can concur with the posted story.
It all started when I was first penetrated by a man's penis at the age of 18 (i am now 27).
To relieve the pressure that I felt during sex, I would seclude myself to the the toilet and immediately shit. I found that by sticking my finger in my ass I would feel an enormous amount of pressure throughout my body, slight relaxation on my nerves, and that my poop would flow better and more fluently from my anus. This helped with relieving the discomfort I experienced from the anal sex.
However, I have acquired this habit now in which I finger my ass hole any time I am nervous or in pain, in general: because of the 'good sensation' that I feel in the process. This has become severely addicting. I do it when I am alone, when I am reading, and in many ways it has become incorporated into my daily routine. There are serious side effects, however, including sharp pain (so much so that I cannot sleep), isolation (as I do not want to be around people when I am doing it), as well as anal bleeding.
I have tried many times to stop but I always return to it. This has only increased since I gave up smoking (which I used to relieve stress and anxiety).
I never thought this would happen to me and I am very embarrassed by the fact and I have never told anyone until now.
So, I see the posted gentleman's fascination with ass fingering and I would very much appreciate advice myself.

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
0
0

So many want to quit, and just can't stop...to paraphrase a line from a particularly favorite blue book of mine.

_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

Anonymous poop's picture
0
0

Thats what she said.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
0
0

AC who commented on 10.09.2009, please tell me that you do not work in a food preparation facility.

Put some capsaicin cream on your fingers and you will learn quickly to keep then out of your eyes and asshole.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Blind Mullet's picture
k 500+ points
0
0

Ohhhh boy, couldn't I have some juvenile fun with that post, Chief.
I can't tell if the dude is serious or having a lend of us all here (in Australia, we say "is he fair dinkum, or what?").
He talks of getting poked up the blurter at age 18, then says, quote "To relieve the pressure that I felt during sex, I would seclude myself to the toilet and immediately shit. I found that by sticking my finger in my ass I would feel an enormous amount of pressure throughout my body..."
...I've never seen a finger that was bigger than a junket pumper. I also would have thought that the old mayo cannon would exert a whole lot more pressure than a finger could.
Having no experience in that particular field of study, I can't speak with any authority.
He also speaks of giving up smoking- is he referring to the blue-vein cigar?
He also says that he fingers his ring while reading. Might I suggest that he stop reading gay magazines?
He also says, quote: "I am very embarrassed by the fact and I have never told anyone until now."
Embarrassed enough to tell the whole world?!?!
He then says that he'd appreciate some advice...
My advice would be to give up the self-saucing tube-steaks, and try a little furry taco instead.

_______
The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

Poothagoras's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
0
0

LOL! I am picturing the capsaicin results!
_______
Every poop is not to be told to every body.

Every poop is not to be told to every body.

ChiliKahKah's picture
j 1000+ points
0
0

Thia prohbition is about like saying do not lick and electrical outlet. Most of us know not to do these things without formal training.

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points
0
0

BM, I am eternally indebted to you for increasing my vocabulary by at least 5 words.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
0
0

BM.....Like PD I am indebted to you for my increased vocabulary, now I am off to the store where I shall strike up a conservation in which I can hopefully use, fair dinkum, blurter, mayo cannon and junket pumper.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
0
0

I think ass fingering is a perversion. Ass fingerers need to go to ass fingerers anonymous for help. Is there such a thing? If there is not, poopreport is not the place to start one. The big question is, do you really want help with your ass fingering fetish? If you do you wouldn't be coming on poopreport for help.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

BBB's picture
0
0

This is an answer to the post (Anonymous Coward (not verified) -- 10.09.2009)

This is what i found out few days ago, and i swear, this is true:
My girl went to the toilet, to shit. i just wanted to watch her through key hole and damn, what i saw!! She was fingering hrself in ass during shitting, her fingers were all shitty. DAMN! She never wanted anal sex, but she was doing this! I couldnt be quiet, so i asked her, what was she doing. And she told me, that she enjoys very much fingering her ass! OMG i was shocked. She told me, she is doing that everytime, when she go to the toilet. It is the same story as the (Anonymous Coward (not verified) -- 10.09.2009).
She told me too, that she enjoy doing that so much she nearly cums and she is doing that for about a year, and she started to do that from the same reason as that girl from the upper post. I was shocked, but on the other side, she told me now, and she let me fuck her ass and she finnaly enjoyed that, she has no more worries. But she didnt answer to all questions.
Please help me to found out, what is really in her head and what is she thinking by doing that.
thank you, bbb

Girl (Anonymous Coward (not verified) -- 10.09.2009) please contact me on kr_en1984(at)hotmail(dot)com

johnjohn's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
0
0

My Mom used to put soap up our asses if we were plugged up. Her logic was she thought it might help with a really hard poop. I remember a horrible day right before I started kindergarten I was so young but I remember the trauma of feeling like crapping and couldn't and we were taking a long weekend to PA to my Uncles. Everyone was waiting and I was crying cause I wanted to crap and couldn't so Mom grabbed a bar of soap and wet and started workin it in....didn't help and we left and got in the car and I remember collapsing in tears and dread on my older sisters lap...probably contributed to my later in life dumping worries even though she was tryin to help....:-( it was the 60's pre-info about anything we know now..

loves anal sex's picture
0
0

hi there ppl.... 2 refer 2 BBB with ur girlfriend I'm a guy and am straight (But have 2 many toys 2 mention) not many girls like the word 'anal sex' or 'butt sex' just like us guys hating the word 'period' 'tampoon' But yet anal sex s thought as a distcustng act. in relation 2 ur question s ts a dfferent orgasm and some chcks are opened about that topc whle the others don't like the dea of havng a cock thats going n a 1 way exit.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
0
0

Dear loves anal sex.....The most distcusting thing about your comment was the spelling:))


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points
0
0

But you gotta admit Chief, the word tampoon does have a nice ring to it.

BBB's picture
0
0

LOVES ANAL SEX...my gf dont like cock in her ass, she said it is too much for her ass. and i still dont know...is that masturbating, what is she doing? first she told me, that she is doing that with a reason to shit easier. but many times she is fingering herself in ass for 20 minutes and when i come to the toilet after, it doesnt stink. so, she masturbates or what? i saw her, hiw she is doing that...she is fingering herself with one finger very fast. but she doesnt want to admit, that is masturbating. but she loves to do that, she is doing that cca 3 times in a day. help me :)

Raggedmama's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
0
0

Johnjohn, I can tell a lot of stories like yours. I was a perpetually constipated girl who grew up to be a likewise woman. And my mother used the soap stick treatment - which I hated. But the thing is - it worked, and I know I needed it. Which is why I still use it on myself, and my own daughter.
If you want to talk constipation experiences privately, my e-mail is on my profile.

ginuis in shitting's picture
0
0

dude the white thing that comes out your ass is probly cum or soap!

Varghese's picture
0
0

hello i use fingering my butt hole for geting good bowelmovement is it normal or i am sick? i am always feeling guilty while i am doing this i am not a gay i am also getting a white (mucus like stuff)after i doing this. please share thoughts with some one who does the same stuff. i thought i am the only one who does this now i feel little comfort after i read this page

Everybody poops's picture
0
0

Vargheese don't worry lots of pp d this it's fine that white stuff is fine it's just waste product out of your intestine I am an experienced doctor for the prostate and know fingering is fine but only water saliva and personal lube should b used anything els is to risky for chem reactions to the compounds surrounding the innerwall of the anus or ( shithole)l

bullet poop's picture
0
0

i have just finger my ass when i was watching tv! then i accidently sit up straight with my finger in my ass. i am a male. i was just trying some new things. then i felt a bit like scratching inside.. p.s i haven't wash my hands before i put it in.. this is my first time! i would never do it again.. can someone just make me feel better? i am so worrying now. u know i am so serious about my health! i can't even sleep now :(

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
0
0

Don't bother sleeping, Bullet...enjoy the few moments you have left on this planet.


_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

Anonymous Coward's picture
0
0

Question: What are the causes of mucus in the stool?
Stool normally contains a small amount of mucus, but passing stools with visible amounts of mucus can be from a variety of causes. Mucus in the stool is a common symptom of irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) and ulcerative colitis (UC), and is seen to a lesser degree in Crohn's disease (CD). A bacterial infection, anal fissure, or a bowel obstruction may also cause the passage of mucus.

Answer:
Mucus is a clear, white, or yellow substance with the consistency of jelly which is produced by the mucus membrane of the large intestine. Mucus is also produced by other organs in the body such as the lungs, where it helps to trap any foreign particles that are inhaled. In the intestine, mucus protects the inner lining and helps ease the passage of stool.

Ulcerative Colitis and Irritable Bowel Syndrome
In UC, the mucus membrane of the intestine becomes inflamed and develops ulcers. These ulcers bleed and produce pus and mucus, which may be visible as they are passed in the stool. In IBS, there may be increased mucus production by the lining of the intestine, which is then passed. Mucus is more often associated with diarrhea-predominant IBS. Mucus is less frequent with CD, but may be associated with the development of an anal fissure.

Bacterial Infections
Bacterial infections, such as those from Campylobacter, Salmonella, Shigella, and Yersinia may also cause mucus in the stool. A bacterial infection may also cause diarrhea, fever, and abdominal cramps. Some bacterial infections may resolve on their own without treatment, but some cases may be serious and require treatment with antibiotics.

Bowel Obstruction
A bowel obstruction is associated with constipation, severe cramps, abdominal distention, and vomiting as well as the passage of mucus. A bowel obstruction can be from a variety of causes and is typically treated in the hospital, with surgery being necessary in some cases.

The passage of mucus in the stool in the setting of IBS or UC is not necessarily a cause for alarm, but should be mentioned to a physician. Mucus without an underlying cause such as a pre-existing condition should be reported to a physician immediately.

Editor's note:

This information was copied off the web page ibdcrohns.about.com. It's always nice to give credit where it's due, especially when it's good information

Anonymous Coward's picture
0
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How about you guys stop sticking things in the export zone and this shit will stop happening. Man I'm good, maybe I should become an MD.

A girl that's likes it rough's picture
0
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Hey. I gotta question. So I want my fiancé to fuck me in my ass but I'm scared. What are the outcomes of this? Is there any harm that will be done to me? He wants to badly but I want to make sure I won't get anything and he will cum in my ass so is that bad too?? Help please (:

Anonymous Coward's picture
0
0

i think you anal fingerers are well and truley out of date. you should try fingering someone elses arse . its much more fun.......

sam 's picture
0
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i often suffer from this so its normal

2malesfor3's picture
0
0

One thing that I think is messed up about this is the fact that on April 1, 2010(April fools day mind you) this post will be 6, count them, 6 years old. But without failure, someone manages to "bump" this post.

a dingo ate my poop's picture
0
0

WTF people! try and incorporate at least 15 grams of fiber in your daily diet and there shouldn't be a means for finger fucking your asshole; either that or use some sort of a laxative.. there are other ways than sticking your forefinger uP your poopshoot to help your terds come out a.k.a unconstipate yourself..if you just like playing DJ on ur balloon knot than keep on trucking, but seriously anal mucous on the hands!?! how bout next time u don't wash them afterwards and then finger blast your smell hole