poopreport : Pooping Health :

make it a brown christmas

from eating to pooping: fifteen minutes

Posted 03.25.2004 by Poonurse (1313)
Stash asks:

I occasionally find that, after ingesting food from certain local restaurants, I very quickly experience abdominal disruptions and have to rush the toilet ASAP. There I will jettison, in 2-3 blasts, vast quantities of burning brown liquid from my rectum. The timing of which has been as short as fifteen minutes after eating.

Is this a reaction to the food? Should I continue to eat? Is it possible that the food could have passed all the way through my guts in such a short period of time?


Dear Stash,

Thanks for the question.

I would be very doubtful that the food actually made it all the way through in fifteen minutes, unless the restaurant in question was White Castle. I swear, those things are excreted immediately upon swallowing. You might as well just take them from the bag and throw them straight in the toilet.

My guess is that it is some reaction to the food, or the spices, or something.

The only way to really tell is by keeping track of where you eat when this happens, what you eat, how it is prepared, who served it, what time of day it is, the atmospheric pressure, and the phase of the moon. This kind of record keeping will require a large notebook to be carried with you everywhere you go. A PDA could also be used, I suppose.

Good luck with your investigation, and let us know what happens if you ever figure it out.

Please be advised that I am only a Poonurse. I am NOT a medical doctor. Any advice I give should be taken moderate skepticism. Please consult a REAL medical doctor if you feel you have a serious medical condition.

-- Poonurse

Poonurse is an RN with 25 years experience in labor and delivery. Her qualifications include seeing a lot of poop, and owning a computer. Also, she works in Michigan, which she calls the asshole of the universe, so that's another bit of credibility. Got a question for her?

The Shit Volcano (3740) -- 03.25.2004

Sounds sort of like a food allergy. I have this problem all over the place because I am allergic to coconut and they put it in everything. Sure, not everything has foul tasting white flakes in it. Sometimes it's just coconut oil, which is cheap. Poonurse has a good idea on the record keeping. It'll track down whatever the hell it is.

That, or the place you are eating uses olestra. That goes through anyone's system like a shot. Nasty, nasty stuff!!!!

ringo (not verified) -- 04.24.2004

I used to have exactly this same reaction whenever I ate shrimp. Now I just break out in hives and stop breathing.

The Shit Volcano (3740) -- 04.28.2004

Same thing happens when I eat the aforementioned coconut.

Pooper Duper (not verified) -- 07.29.2004

KFC will cause me to do that. It seems if I eat really greasy food it gives me a case of the instant squirts.

Nutty Hev (not verified) -- 09.21.2004

My feces had white flakes in it today..What's up with that?

The Shit Volcano (3740) -- 09.27.2004

Sounds like butt snot, Nutty Hev. It happens sometimes.

Baron Von Poopiepants (not verified) -- 10.15.2004

The same thing hapened a couple of years ago at a BBQ I was hosting. I ate some Caesar salad and BLAM! 15 minutes later I had undigested romain lettuce spackling my toilet bowl. Ever since then I have had problems with romain lettuce.

shyman (not verified) -- 05.28.2005

I have something similar to that. I can't eat yogurt, regardless of what kind it is. If I have some yogurt, My normal feses will turn into liquid chocolate posicles.

One day, my girlfriend offered me something to eat, because I have an ulcer, so I have to eat every two hours, she offered yogurt to me, and my response was 'Why don't you eat a box of prunes, or drink a whole bottle of Ex lax first, then we'll see." She caught on quickly.

The Shit Volcano (3740) -- 10.25.2005

Carrots come out of my ass really quickly, I've recently discovered. I think I have developed an allergy to the things, which is okay by me because I HATE carrots and always have.

BookerT (not verified) -- 01.08.2006

Ugh-I can't eat carrots either. They cause me severe intestinal pain for about two hours (the next day) followed by a butt explosion which is completely full of little orange pieces of carrots. Funny thing, I can eat all the cooked carrots I want, but more than one or two raw little sticks causes this EVERY time.

Anonymous Coward (not verified) -- 01.01.2007

I also go to the restroom quite quickly after eating(sometimes chunks + liquid, and seeds like its undigested). At first i thought i was allergic to lactose but i ate a friends Greek lasagna and although coming out 15 minutes later it was huge solid, nicely evenly brown, and an astounding but common 1 1/2ft X 2inch crap. I stopped eating greasy food, maybe ill be fine. Hopefully my loud intestinal noises will cease now(it was quite bad when lying down and i never had this problem before a few months ago) I'm a body builder, maybe thats why i crap so quickly. Good luck man. I know i probably need it.

Peter 45 (not verified) -- 09.09.2007

Dear Pooh Nurse,
Every time I eat cooked onions I have torrents of liquid brown pooh. Raw onions are not a problem though. Both of my sisters are aflicted with this, but not my brother. Is this do to an allergy, or have ass gnomes crawled up our collective poopers and run amuck?
Also my girl freind thinks allien space craft have taken up residence in my colan and can be removed with a "magnetic probe". Is this even posible? In the interest of humering her should I let her "probe" me?
Wet and wondering in New Jersey

Fudgepump (366) -- 09.10.2007

This has been one of my pet peeves regarding PR posts for almost as long as I've been visiting. In reality, it takes HOURS for ingested material to make the 25 foot-long passage through the alimentary system. Coincidentally timed eruptions have got to be some kind of "direct-line" connection between the front and back ends, but I CAN'T imagine that anything you eat could possibly race through the whole length of plumbing in 15 minutes. No way...

Anonymous Coward (not verified) -- 09.28.2007

I've noticed lately that if I drink wine or cocktails at a dinner party, I often wind up with bits of undigested lettuce and other particles of vegetables in my poop. I don't recall this happening when I was younger. What's going on? Am I developing some sort of gastric intolerance to alcohol or am I just getting old (39)? Gallbladder problems do run in the family, but I kind of don't think that's it.

Hamster (581) -- 09.29.2007

Fudge - got to support you again here, old boy!! Absolutely, and well put. Maybe there is an exception where a person is actually ill, like gastro-enteritis, when the process is accelerated, but normally, no, 15 minutes is absurd.

The Thunderous ... (710) -- 09.29.2007

Actually its called mass peristalsis which can be triggered I would imagine not only by drinking cold water but by eating as well. Your food does NOT just PASS thru you in 15min BUT anything you have eaten prior to that could be forced out to make room for the new stuff coming in. Does that also sound about right oh great Poo Nurse?
_______
The Thunderous Crapper 63 Enjoying home toilet advantage since 2004!

BILLY (not verified) -- 03.24.2008

i have to poop about every 15 minutes but its sort of like diarrhea but ive heard people call it “the runs ” even if i dont i have to poop about every 15 mins. could you please help me

Anonymous Coward (not verified) -- 09.16.2008

I think what you're experiencing in relation to the restaurant food has something to do with the gastrocolic reflex. This reflex, in a normal person, is enacted after ingesting a meal. It basically means that once food hits your stomach, your colon has a reflex to poop (which is good, in order to even out the amount of food/feces in your body). It may just be that certain foods will illicit a stronger gastrocolic reflex for you. I would guess that this isn't a problem unless it's very hard for you to control yourself. In that case, don't eat that food, or see a doctor if it's very bad!

Rocket Man (not verified) -- 10.05.2008

For me large meals can be the catalyst for an emergency, unstoppable ass explosion. The body's way of making room. Throw in a milkshake or ice cream after eating, and the countdown begins. It runs (ha!) in the family. We all nod sympathetically and knowingly, if one gets suddenly pale and quiet, during a long drive home from a restaurant.
Can food get from the front to the back in 15 minutes? To trigger yes. To get there, no. Not without some serious cramping. If the body wants it out that fast, the front door is easier. But an hour - without ill effects. Yes. Just remember to drink some water to replace the loss. Also, get some Acidophilus from the drug store or Walmart to restock your stomach's little helpers that got rudely ejected. Otherwise, it could continue for days. (esp. if you are taking antibiotics). My two cents.

daphne (3667) -- 10.05.2008

Good point, Rocket Man.

You can buy acidophilus in pill form, and it's not that expensive. You can also buy it in paste form, but it tastes kind of funny.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Anonymous Coward (not verified) -- 10.12.2008

i poo at least 5 times a day.. especially after a meal.. lil brown squirts.. can't seem to keep anything in me? am i lactose? cancer? i need help!!

Anonymous Coward (not verified) -- 11.14.2008

I used to have the exact problem in this question. I would go to this one chinese restaurant and if I ate the General Tso's, within 15 minutes it was emergency run for bathroom time. It only happened when I ate the General Tso's, and only the General Tso's from that one restaraunt. AND it hasnt happened since.

I will sometimes, however, need to go right after having an iced mocha latte. Not when it's hot, just cold. And not with other dairy. I just chocked it up to an odd digestive system and went with it.

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