what happens when you hold poop in?

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Honey Monster asks:

Why is it the longer I hold my turds in, the worse they smell and the softer they get?





Dear Honey_Monster,

Thanks for the question!

Your poop is getting even with you for holding it hostage in there. Poop is meant to come out, not linger around in a smelly, dark passageway like that.

Just imagine how you would like it. Poo has feelings, too. Free your poo--don't hold it in.

Please be advised that I am only a Poonurse. I am NOT a medical doctor. Any advice I give should be taken moderate skepticism. Please consult a REAL medical doctor if you feel you have a serious medical condition.

-- Poonurse

Poonurse is an RN with 25 years experience in labor and delivery. Her qualifications include seeing a lot of poop, and owning a computer. Also, she works in Michigan, which she calls the asshole of the universe, so that's another bit of credibility.

Got a question for her?

504 Comments on "what happens when you hold poop in?"

Anonymous's picture

I poop maybe three times in two weeks. I don't know why, I just do! They are barely solids and it always hurts. I am lactose intolerant so when I drink milk, it sucks for me big time.

I have tried a lot of things to make me poop but it doesn't work usually. When I hold in my poop, I get sick and I feel like I'm going to throw up. It sucks, pooping is bad enough for me. Is the feeling bad just a side effect? I get shaky and nervous when I go, too.

Anonymous's picture

The bowel absorbs moisture, but if I had to guess why they're smellier and softer, it's because your body's breaking down more fats from it than usual, it's fermenting more than usual.

Anonymous's picture

OMG, I'm reading all this while shitting and I must say I laughed so hard I shat. Although I know some people are not lying cuz I have the same problem of not going for days at a time. Some of the stories are seriously drop dead hilarious.

Anonymous's picture

Your full of shit. (no pun intended)

Anonymous's picture

Hey women, just go poop. Shower afterwards and everything is cool. I know one thing. I'm not having sex with no more butts if women hold their poops like that.

Anonymous's picture

Wow you guys are lucky, my poop,hurts if I hold it in more than a day or so.

Anonymous's picture

It's Thursday July 19th 2012. I'm a 17 year old female, and I have been holding in my poop off and on since I was about 6 years old. I don't know why but I love the feeling that it gives me, but I will only do it when I am alone in my room or alone in my house, or even just stand in my bathroom while I text my friends.

I don't usually do it when people are around because it just feels like there is an odd presence when I do that. I finally took a poop and I feel a lot better now and I pooped about 4 hours ago. Now I feel okay, but I have noticed that it has been making me feel sick, So i don't plan on doing it anymore. It made me get an awful head ache and made my stomach hurt. Don't hold you're poop in, go to a doctor and get it checked believe me it hurts. But once you all finally let it out take a nice hot bath or shower after clean yourself put on some fresh cloths and then you will feel great!

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Replying to Anonymous who commented on Mon, 06/18/2012 - 02:47.

You certainly sound like an intelligent young person! Don't forget to have mommy wipe your balloon knot after you're finished.

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Anonymous's picture

This is gross but I feel like sharing it. When I was about eleven (?), I used to pull poo out of my ass with my finger and I didn't line my hand with anything. I simply pried out shit with my bare hand.

I am holding in my poo right now Because I want to play a game, so I won't be going to the toilet for about an hour. It's okay though because I went yesterday.

Anonymous's picture

I have to work 18 hours of the day on Thursday and Friday. On the Friday that just passed, I had held in my poop for only one day. I tried that Thursday to poop three times but my ass was sleeping.

Friday I finally had the opportunity to take a shit, or leave one in a public bathroom. Once I did my tummy hurt my entire shift. Now today my stomach hurts again like I have an evil turd in me still. Some poop stayed backed up and is now eating away at my small intestines.

Anonymous's picture

When I was around six I didn't poo for six weeks,I'm not joking either. I was scared and thought it was normal at the time.

The doctor gave me this whole cup of orange flavored syrup to drink. Later on I had diarrhea which cleared out my intestines.

Anonymous's picture

You shouldn't do that. It's not healthy.

Anonymous's picture

Wow strange but informative forum. I'm glad I stumbled across it.
I've always thought I was a freak. I've never known anyone to not poo as long as I do.
I used to be on strong painkillers,oxy to be precise and it caused major constipation.
I've always been quite constipated too, even as a kid my mom used to push my legs up to my stomach to help me push out poos. Thank god I don't remember, oh the shame.

For the rest of my life I have pretty much pooed once a week or maybe once a fortnight but as I got older the poos happened with less and less frequency. I went on oxy and I pooed like once every 3-4 months.

Then I got transferred onto a different lame painkiller because oxy is a controlled drug and it's just like my pooing became less and less. But I never really cared. I just ignored it.

Then, this horrible day happened a fee months ago. I GOT A damned hemorrhoid! I nearly shit myself! Me?! A hemorrhoid? I couldn't believe it. I'm only in my 20s and I have this big boil protruding from my anus. There goes my sex life! Who wants to get intimate with a fucking hemorrhoid? Jesus!

Anyway, other then the hemmy, I also had noticed for months that when I drank water it would take a long long time to reach my bladder. I had to have an ultrasound for an unrelated check up and they advised me to drink a liter of water an hour before. Four hours later, still no water in my bladder, it was all still in my stomach. I ignored it of course.

Then I finally realized my poo must have been SO backed up, right up my colon and intestines, possibly even in my stomach. Because I could never eat much. I always would take a few bites of food and I'd feel full and bloated. My poo was filling up my insides. I'm seriously terrified to imagine how close I probably was to poo coming out of my mouth, I've heard it can happen in severe cases.

When I got the hemorrhoid I researched and learned it's often caused by constipation. So I got some of this powder fiber stuff, "benefibre" it is called, and I pooed like a poo machine. At first it didn't work. It took a few days. But then I pooed seriously. Maybe 20 times within a few days. Then I noticed I could eat a lot more then I used to and my water was turning to urine within an hour again!

I felt less bloated but I ran out of it and now I feel like crap still.

I always feel like I need to poo. I'm not sure if that's because there's still a lot of poo backed up or is this how the regular pooing human being feels all the time? I hate needing to poo every day. It's an inconvenience!

But anyway. I do recommend powdered fiber. It worked for me and I've been severely constipated my whole life. Prunes also used to work but I hate eating them. Tastes like my own poo would probably taste,

Also my poo was very hard and dark, almost black. Just thought I'd share the adventures of my bum since everyone else is sitting around the campfire telling their poo stories.

Anonymous's picture

I have never laughed so much on a forum!

Anonymous's picture

God, This is such good fun to read!

Anonymous's picture

Caffeine could be exasperating it and IBS sufferers cannot have caffeine as this exasperates us. Hope this helps.

Anonymous's picture

My in-laws are allergic to the yeast in alcohol. Hope this helps.

Anonymous's picture

Hold it Eric, it's not worth it for the people in the high school to bully or offer drugs. This happens in my middle school.

Anonymous's picture

Well I just took a nice 20 minute poop. I haven't pooped in about 14 hours and I barely made it home! Ah what a pleasant feeling!

Anonymous's picture

My chihuahua poops on command. I just scare the hell out of it and it poops.

Anonymous's picture

You guys are so COOL. I can't even hold it for two days.

Anonymous's picture

All you people are stupid,no offense. I nearly died by doing this.

Anonymous's picture

From personal experience I suggest you poop normally. I have IBS which makes my poops hurt more when they are bigger. When they sit there for a week they get harder and bigger. The more you delay the more pain you will have.

I've had to take medical fiber to get my poop to soften up but that just makes different problems. My poops are soft on the outside but hard on the inside. This causes the outside to slowly come out my ass through the day making a mess that I don't enjoy.

Poop when you can is the best idea. Don't save it for later.

Anonymous's picture

Look anyone who scared don't be I go shit every Sunday I'm fine I've been doing this for 14 years it hurts sometimes but I enjoy going once a week the chance of you getting Hurt is low I've been to doctors and it might hurt going once s week but you get used to it but I've Been sick and I missed my Sunday's twice now I'm on about day 22 without going to the bathroom this were it starts to be a bitch and it hurts...... Anyone else?

Anonymous's picture

I hold my poop when I play video games. I think it's common place.

Anonymous's picture

I have a mental block on pooping. I literally can have to poop so badly, but my mind tells me no, & I cant poop, and it's misery !!!!

Will I die from mental block or lose my nerves and shit myself?

Anonymous's picture

I take a shit 3 to 2 times daily (easy right) now if you want to take a shit 3 to 2 times daily I recommend drinking a lot of water is good to take a shit and is good for your health. Water really cleans your inside. Remember animals drink water an they don't have a problem taking a shit. lol

Anonymous's picture

Yeah, but sometimes when you have to poo you can't due to where you are, or say, where the bathroom is located (in my case, directly in front of the receptionist, who can see what time you go in and what time you come out). I think this is the main reason why I sometimes hold my poo in, or "will" it to not come out. Then again, I'm constantly obsessed with my poo, thinking it will immobilize me. I was scarred by a bad bout of diarrhea two years ago. I wish I could be care-free about my pooing.

Anonymous's picture

Thank god I have found this website. I've been searching and posting on forums for days and have had nothing back, so I really hope this one provides a speedy reply. Recently I found myself holding in a poop for around 15 days, at first I found this odd because I normally go every 2 days By about the 11th day I consulted my GP and he advised natural laxatives such as prune juice, corned beef, tomato puree and raw seafood. I tried all of these at once and there has been no improvement, only large amounts of stomach cramps and as you can imagine; a serious case of bad breath. Just as I was giving up all hope last night a strong urge of 'needing to go' took hold, I ran to the toilet expecting 16 days of poop to come out, and a small, single nugget probably the size of a battery came out after several minutes of straining. I now don't feel the urge to go at all but I am worried that it isn't 'all' out. What should I do?
thanks,
'Worried-Pooer'.

Anonymous's picture

I held my poop in for 2 weeks, and when I went I had to push so hard I ruptured multiple veins inside me and bled for about an hour.

Anonymous's picture

When I hold my poop for extended periods of time, I usually call up an actor like Mel Gibson or Wesley Snipes. I'll explain what's going on to them with a lot of panic in my voice and they'll usually calm me down. Mel once stayed on the phone with me for 4 hours until he had to poop. I tried to get him to hold it with me but he started getting mad and calling me all kinds of names. I did, however, talk Mel into letting me hang out in the bathroom with him while he pooped and he even let me feed him nacho cheese Doritos while he pooped.

I haven't pooped in almost 6 years now and I'm pretty sure I learned how to beat it. Once in a while, blood will just shoot out from my butt but all my friends know what's going on and 911 just gets pissed if anyone calls about me anymore.

Anonymous's picture

how did i get here haha!

Anonymous's picture

Im. Pooping right now its the third time i have pooped today and its only noon...

Anonymous's picture

Vitamin k is produced on the large intestine which is a large component in clotting you blood. If you hold your poop in I don't think it would be good for production... :/

Anonymous's picture

I hate being on pain killers. It makes my poo poo's hurt when I finally have to go. However I have noticed when I do poo while taking pain killers my poops are generally very clean. One wipe... then a second to check and verify the poo hole is clean.

Anonymous's picture

I have had The same trouble as you and you need to eat more fiber. Drink a lot of water , you should also see and talk to the doctor too good luck

Anonymous's picture

Help! I can't poop. I try pushing but all I do is fart and the poop doesn't budge. It doesn't even hurt. But then I get a ringing in my head so when I relax this really bad pain goes through the upper right side of my head. What should I do?

Anonymous's picture

Let your turtle free, if it sees water its going to want to slide out like a slip and slide

Anonymous's picture

there is a huge amount of comments.wow.i would never actually think of a topic like this to talk about.but u never know-there could be WORSE!!

Anonymous's picture

hahahahaha i have to poop now

klitwinczuk's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Don't hold you poo in! If you get the urge, go. I was unable to go for a week and when the urge finally came, my constipation was so bad I had to physically help extract it(with my hand!!)

What happens is that as poo travels through your bowels, water is absorbed into your small intestine. This is very important as it aides in the absorption of nutrients into your body while facilitating the movement through your bowels. When poo hits the colon (the end of the tube) the process reverses,the fluid is absorbed back into your body to help keep you hydrated, among other things.
In short, the longer the poop is in your body the more liquid will be extracted from it.

As to answer your question, it is probable that when you refuse the urge to go, your body is sending signals saying "We need help removing this toxic sludge from our body." Which may cause you to absorb more fluid into your small intestine and or loose less fluid in you colon.
Our bodies want to do what they are made to do, and will find ways of getting what they want.
To answer the part about the smell... (to all you who have week tummies you might want to skip this part) The only reason we can smell poo in the first place is that when we go, small poo spores float into the air.
So... The more liquid = the more evaporation = ewww!!!

Please keep in mind I am not a doctor, this info is based on my limited knowledge of the body, but I hope I was of some help.

Happy "goings" to all of you.

Mother of 6 poopers

tgyi18's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

man i wish i was your boyfriend.

still holding it in most of the time

Anonymous's picture

I hold my poop in too, I just do it because I like to though. Not sure why everyone else has so much pain when they hold it I haven't pooped in two weeks and I feel fine if not abit full heheh. My boyfriend doesn't mind that I do this he says it's cute and it certainly makes me feel submissive..

Anonymous's picture

LOL!

Anonymous's picture

it is because you are lactose intolerant, your body rejects dairy products, not all dairy products though, just the more pure ones like milk and yogurt.

Anonymous's picture

i am laughing so hard i have to poop

Anonymous's picture

All I do is yell out " mum I sank a batle ship" plop

Anonymous's picture

Does anybody when you hold your poop in for awhile does it hurt when you poop and is it any bigger? My friend Brooklyn told me that she has held hers in and that it hurts after about a month or 2 of holding it. I personally think it's wrong to do it and you should allow your feces to be free haha but I'm a supportive friend. So after a month of holding in your poop does it hurt when you go to the bathroom and is it bigger and harder? Thank you :-)

Anonymous's picture

Just go do the doctor and don't lose hope okay i bet u'll be just fine=]

Anonymous's picture

i believe that if you hold you poo in you will get very sick so you just gotta let it out this might be nasty but it's true.

Anonymous's picture

I've been holding my poop in for 60 days now.

Anonymous's picture

Put Down The fork

Anonymous's picture

ok, so i've been holding in my poop for about 4 hours now. I am going to visit the bathroom. I don't want to keep it hostage anymore. Thank you poopnurse.

Anonymous's picture

your a sick man dude :\

Anonymous's picture

your constipated, drink plenty of water and eat lots of fiber

Anonymous's picture

I think the longest I've ever held it in was 2 and a half months. Good to see I'm noy yhe only person with this problem. I'm currently holding one in for I think 20 days now? I haven't felt a single need to go for like 5 days now. It's as if the poop teleported to another dimension like in family guy :P Lol but seriously I'm probably gonna die soon...

Anonymous's picture

It's true. Everybody poops. Can't believe this poop talk has been goin on since 04

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

Toxins is kind of a b.s. word. We're adults, so we should have a better understanding of the body than to just say "toxins". What actual material in poop is resorbed by the blood stream? I would love to learn new things, and if you can tell us what type of acids or compounds in poop that are re-gathered by the colon, ones that cross the semi-permeable membrane with water, I think it would be excellent information for everyone.

Are we talking nitrates from broken down cellular waste, here? Something like that?

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Raggedmama's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

The fecal toxins are absorbed back into your bloodstream, weakening your immune system and probably affecting the brain, making you more prone to "bizarre behavior".

Which is why, in our household, we were brought up under a strict regime: hold it in too long and you get a suppository forced into you.

Anonymous's picture

yall nasty

hayley's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

What goes in must come out. Don't hold it in and poop when you have to. Everyone poops!

the shit of my life's picture

Me and my husband had sex while i had to take a MASSive shit and i told him stop i have to poopie baby but he kept on until it started weaving in and out tentatively as if it wasnt sure completely if it was the right time but i was sure lol. so i pushed while he was jamming me puss my shit was staining across my cheeks and i could feel the warmth i had an orgasm the biggest one in my life and my husband did too but were scared to do it again cause he says hes embarrased but we will do it again thanks you people

pmartin's picture

I can't hold my poop for long...sometimes if the restrooms are busy and I need to go I get this real sharp pain cramp in the middle of my pelvic area, it feels like menstruation cramps....could it be constipation....but I poop up to 3 to 4 times a day?

tgyi18's picture
m 1+ points - Newb


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still holding it in most of the time hey notalone i also hold in my poop a lot too so if u want to talk about it just let me know. i don't check here too often as people don't post here too often

still holding it in most of the time

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

It is not necessarily true that as a rule people would hold it in for a reward. People might also hold it in to avoid punishment or as a compulsion. There have been quite a few people over the years who have posted here who have poop issues because their parents were real tools about pooping when these people were growing up. Some kids hold it in for control issues, and others because they don't like to poop. These kids grow up to become adults, and their habits become compulsions they can't control.


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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

NotAlone's picture

@ Prarie...

On your comment, I am positive that most folks would find that to be true. However many people on this blog are not in the conventional frame.

1. they are openly talking about social taboos, which puts them into another category altogether.

2. It is a constant through this blog that whomever ENJOYS holding back, only do so when they are alone... Not in a car with other people.

3. To do so I think one has to have a certain affinity for pain... Which is rare to find.

4. Iam interested to find out the emotional and physical triggers that compel some people to fight against their natural body need. There is a reward for doing so, otherwise no one would do it. and it is not out of laziness.

If it were out of laziness humanity would have died out long ago from exploded colons.

If you have never felt the compulsion I am talking about then it would be hard to understand and I am certain that in your experience that you have never come across it. It is not something that comes up in general conversation, or for that matter, personal conversation... The taboos are too strong.

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

NotAlone, pretty much every female "dying for a pee" I have ever known, has been quite unpleasurable as I scrambled to find a suitable gas station, or garbage dumpster to squat behind.

NotAlone's picture

@ Butt of the joke

Yes, yes of course. It was under the presumption that woman have "other" bits that produce a similar effect, plus you have far more nerves and pleasure centers in and around that region.

Do you want to know an interesting fact, maybe you know this already, if so, then its for the benefit of other readers.

Fact: All fetuses start off as female and only a while down the line does the clitoris change form into the male penis. Quite interesting?

So to end off, yes I am aware that women have no prostate but they have got something even better... So, the theory still holds.

I have been told (by a few women) that if they are dying for a pee (Bladder full) it can feel as pleasurable as it is painful.

Any feedback would be appreciated.

Butt of the Joke's picture
l 100+ points

NotAlone,to save you the trouble,it is definitely not the same for women. In order to fit your theory,a prostate is needed.
_______
More people flush than they do wash their hands.

More people flush than they do wash their hands.

NotAlone's picture

Wow, what a site. Thought I was alone, happy to find out that I am not.

I enjoy holding back on pooping, in the last few years I've been doing it more and more. I know it can't be healthy in any way, but for me, its a mix of pain and pleasure. The sense of control, focus and all over body tingles is weirdly wonderful. Been trying to figure out why I am compelled to do it.

It's not laziness to go to the toilet. I enjoy taking a poop as much as the next pooper, however I do have a theory.

For men, I think it gives that pleasure sensation because when a poop is withheld it all collects close to the anus and puts pressure on the prostate. And when your bowels try and push out the poop while you are trying to hold it in, the poop moves a little and pushes on the prostate. Well, thats my theory anyway. I am not gay so I can't confirm the prostate thing, however it is meant to be the male G-Spot so it makes sense.

Not sure if its the same for women.

Going to the toilet can hurt like hell if I hold it in for more than 48 hours because a large dehydrated poop has its revenge. Has anyone tried to squat on the toilet seat? It can really help if your poop gets the shits with you and refuses to leave.

Interesting blog.

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Hello AC: Just like with computers: GIGO (garbage in; garbage out). An unhealthy diet, even for a short while, can lead to unhealthy poops. Nothing specific necessarily, just a general principle, often observed.

Anonymous Coward's picture

Hi, 2 days ago me and my friends had a LAN PARTY (gaming all night) u must understand then that we don't eat much healthy food during that night. So i ate alot of crisps and even a microwave-hamburger which was digusting afterwards, and all i drunk was energy drink. Now here comes the problem: After that i haven't pooped since then, and this morning when i woke up and went to the toilet, sat on it and it felt like there was pee coming out of my anus. So when i got the nerve too look what it was, it was a yellow-ish liquid matter, with nothing in it just yellow liquid. So after i took a shower i went on te internet to find its cause, but havent found anything yet, i also have this brewing-feeling in my stumach every 5-10 minutes.... Please help

Butt of the Joke's picture
l 100+ points

AC,drink LOTS of water. It will help. If you hold it in,it will only hurt more when it does come out. If it has only been a day and it effects how you are sitting,maybe you need to tell your parents. Yes it's awkward,but they will help.
_______
More people flush than they do wash their hands.

More people flush than they do wash their hands.

tgyi18's picture
m 1+ points - Newb


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still holding it in most of the time hey ac if it is hurting and its only been a day it just hurts thats all. it means its a really firm poo. i wish i could help you more but idk what else i can do please respond back

still holding it in most of the time

Anonymous Coward's picture

I have been holding my poop in because every time I start to poop, it hurts extremely bad. I am too scared to go poop because of the extreme pain. I'm too scared to see a doctor. I tried eating more fruits, vegetables, and things like that and less junk food, but nothing seems to work. It feels weird (doesn't exactly hurt) to sit down, and I don't know what to do. I am young and embarressed to tell my parents. So I can't take any pills because I don't have the money because I'm really young. I'm scared about having worse problems because of holding it in, but it simply hurts TOO bad. I really need help fast, what should I do? By the way, its only been a day since I've pooped, but I'm scared.

box's picture

Taking a poo is the same as having a good sex, relaxing and enjoyable.

Butt of the Joke's picture
l 100+ points

I realize that. Hell,I still have my whole life ahead of me! I was just simply restating what the 14 year old did. Is it weird that we are referring to him like he is an object or child?
_______
More people flush than they do wash their hands.

More people flush than they do wash their hands.

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Sorry, BotJ, at 14 this kid has his (her?) whole life yet ahead; lots can (and should) change, including especially English skills! Not one punctuation mark, misspellings, etc.: a grammatical disaster. Then we get to the poop part: Holding poop in may lead to diarrhea in this particular kid's case, at this particular stage in his life; but for most people, most of the time, it leads to constipation and may, if carried on long enough, lead to surgery or other measures to disimpact it. Best to go to the toilet when he feels the urge, if he hasn't already deadened his anal nerves.

Butt of the Joke's picture
l 100+ points

Chief,don't pick on him about his writing skills. It's not his fault,he's been like that his whole life. He just can't help it.
_______
More people flush than they do wash their hands.

More people flush than they do wash their hands.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Well AC, You certainly have me convinced, if you can't trust a 14 year old with minimal writing skills, who can you trust?


_______
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Anonymous Coward's picture

ok look you guys i am 14 and i hold my poop in but you body make your poop turn to dirria when you have to much poop in you body so your not going you die you will just get sick ive been like this my whole life trust me

Anonymous Coward's picture

For all of u that like holding in poop or hate pooping... How bout having a baby cuz when I had my daughter I didn't poop for a month!! And when I did it hurt like shit to take the shit out... Soo if u love to hold it in or don't like to poop... GET PREGNANT

chingy's picture

Hey me. Why Yo eyes so blingy. (I dunno) Is it because u been rubbin dat feces? (maybe so) in ur eyes like shit you can see... i'm a rapper

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Dear beer shit, Budweiser is not beer, it is what people who drink real beer piss. Try some Sierra Nevada ale, Flying dog, or the product of almost any micro brewery and see what you've been missing.


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Dirty old men need love too!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

beer shit's picture

Listen if u have to shit go u will hurt urself in the long run.Im no doctor but i like to drink beer u should try it i drink budweiser and i have the most nastiest smelliest shits ever but i love it.Sometimes i have MUD BUTT i know u all have herd of it YEA GO BEER

Anonymous Coward's picture

Well Im a totall coward. And truthfully this website scares the shit out of me. T.T Bad pun Im sooooo sorry. Well I have the same problem. Im not weird and enjoy it. But I have some really bad ideas on how to try and fix this yourself. Though so far it hasn't really worked for me. All I got was a UTI. T.T

1. Ok go when your takeing a shower. Not in the shower! The hot steam and noise makes it so peeps don't notice. DUh. And you can relax and not get yelled at for takeing forever.

2. Ok I ruined my underwear for months when I was younger. Till I got the bright idea to maybe wash them myself and not throw them down the laundry for someone else. T.T

3. Water. Nuff said

4. If your conciouse about meds. And I'm not promoteing this. >.< I 'barrowed' some of this laxitive stuff. You just add it to water... ehem step #3.

5. And five. Which I haven't done and think I'm a total idiot for. Tell someone! Holy cow. They probably know what to do.

Anyway this goes down as creepeist website I've accidentally come acrost. But whatever I'll contribute.

Butt of the Joke's picture
l 100+ points

This coming from my mom(who is a nurse):She has told me numerous times that doctors really don't do that much(no offense intended) and I have seen that first hand.Scared Girl,if it doesnt work,you would most likely be better off asking a nurse's help(like the nurse that is in the room with you before the doctor shows up) on what to do next.A doctor is just going to tell you what you already know.Hope it all comes out ok.
_______
He who laughs last,must have been in front of the blast.

More people flush than they do wash their hands.

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Hello, Scared Girl: If it doesn't work, first check to make sure you followed directions exactly. If it still doesn't work, go back to the doctor. He will tell you what to do next.

Scared Girl's picture

Hey; this is embaressing for me . But im having trouble going to the toilet ,its been like 4 weeks , and its scary ;/ when i try i get big pains in my stomach and i start to shake violently ,but nothing comes out im scared that something bads going to happen to me , i have told my doctor and he has gave me stuff that will get rid of it , but if it doesnt im still really scared :( x What should i do if it doesnt work?

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Dear Anonymous Coward, First of all we are very intelligent people who are capable of spelling words correctly and completely and realize that capital letters have their place in a message but should not be used exclusively.

I personally have a PHD from Oxford, in the science of colonology, my esteemed colleague Dr. P. Doggin graduated Magna Cum Laude from the University of Brussels with a degree in Sproutology. The world famous Australian scientist Dr. B. Mullet, inventor of the pooftermeter, is an honored member of the poop report team. Daphne has multiple degrees in both animal husbandry and wifery.

Ha, what kind of people are we indeed!


_______
Dirty old men need love too!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Anonymous Coward's picture

WAT KIND OF PEOPLE R U? U HAV A WEB PAGE ABOUT P***!!!!! WHOEVER MADE THIS UP IS STUPID!!!!!

BLAHBLAHBLAH IS OUT!

IBS NO MORE's picture
k 500+ points

I'd be more inclined to think that someone who didn't find poop funny would be the one who was a freak. Just sayin'.

When you say the word “poop,” your mouth makes the same motion your butthole does when pooping…
The same can be said for the phrase “explosive diarrhea.”

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Dear you are: You may require an explanation, and it is this: ChiefT and PD are joking, which is logical, because this is mainly a poop HUMOR site. In real life, they don't do that; or so I think. In the meantime, get a life!

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Wait up prarie I'm right behind you! (Which is probably preferable (from your view point) of my being right in front of you!


_______
Dirty old men need love too!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

you are, don't judge us by what you perceive us to be. We are all normal people with normal lives. We have houses, jobs, and watch tv. We eat the same things as you, and many of us have children. I hope you will be a little more tolerant of your fellow man. Now excuse me while I strip naked, smear feces all over myself, download some midget porn into my iPod and head out to Starbucks for a Macchiato grande latte.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Dear you are, Yes, we are freaks but at least we aren't trolls. Now be a good little monster and go wait under a bridge somewhere and if you are lucky a fat goat will come tripping along shortly.


_______
Dirty old men need love too!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

you are's picture

You're all fucking freaks, get a life the lot of you, you fucking disgusting freaks.

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

AC, no one at that house is expecting you to hold your poop in when you have to go. The toilet is there for use, and they expect you to use it. For heaven's sake, unplug yourself!

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Poor choice AC, you have waited until the poo within you has grown to immense proportions, now you are almost assured of dropping a load that will plug the commode like a fat groundhog in a rabbit burrow.

Ask your pops friend if you can borrow one of her kitchen knifes for a chopping job and go forth to the toilet and let the monster out.


_______
Dirty old men need love too!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Anonymous Coward's picture

hi :)
i am at my dads girlfriends house and i am embarressed to have a poop in her house but we have been here for 3 days and going home in two days but ever sinse we have got here i have needed a poop.
will it become harmfull if i wait untill i go home because it is really umcomfortable.
even when i am sat her i keep figiting as i can feel it pushing on my belly :/
it really hurts. what shall i do??
thankss x

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

Chief, usually when I take a sip from a spitoon, I wind up drinking the whole damn thing, as it is usually in one long string. I may have to rethink this practice with this guy running around.
AC, is your friend a dipshit?

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

My guess is he is "dipping" shit, just a pinch between cheek and gum keeps him satisfied for hours. If it melts he can always recharge from a plugged commode.

He can dip plain but we would recommend the corn flavor.

The American Smokeless Shit Company.


_______
Dirty old men need love too!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

AC, I don't know how you can make such a ridiculous assumption about your friends breath. You have no idea if he's eating shit. He may just be sucking on it, or chewing it like tobacco and spitting out the juices. I suggest you follow him around for a while and get back to us. Thanks.

my freind may need help's picture

I have a friend who's mouth always smells like shit... really, just like shit, I can smell it from five feet away, how do I help him overcome his addiction? I mean, I know if I was always eating shit I would want somebody to help me... Thanks... -Anonymous Coward.

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

Aargh! What's weird is that you would bleed from any orifice in your body for two months and NOT GO SEE YOUR DOCTOR. What's wrong with you?

Considering your symptoms, you're going to have to see a doctor, because it sounds like you have an anal fissure.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Anonymous Coward's picture

I'm not scared to poop every day. Im 18 and latley there is something wrong when I go. It takes me 20 min to get a small soft piece of poop out because it hurts so bad like my colon and anus is being ripped to shreds. It feels worse then when I had my son. I let a little of the poop come out then suck it back up so it rotates to a more comfortable way for escaping, its the worst pain ever and when I wipe there's blood. This has been going on for 2 months now what is wrong with me? I don't want to ask my doc that be to weird!

Turtle Heads's picture

I found that a couple/few hot peppers (cayennes or habeneros) chopped up into my lunch everyday turns my ass into a 5 alarm atomic clock.

Johnny Cash's inspiration has been EXPOSED!

After just a few days on this schedule, I got to where I would get an intense, debilitating urge after every workday at around 8-8:15PM. It even happened in Walmart one time before I recognized the pattern.

Habeneros even retain their smell!

This wonderful effect has been consistent for a couple months now - I cannot recommend it more!

Sticky squatter's picture

I like taking a turd as I am on Methadone and the fact they're always large and solid means most times they slide past my G Spot causing semen to emit. I love this feeling. I just wish my meds let me crap more thn once in 4 or 5 days on average

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Dear Huntbone, First of all are you a dog or a horny young lady as your user name seems to indicate?

Secondly, if you are a young lady your habit of holding in poop seems to have destroyed the portion of your cranial stuffing that dictates such things as capitalization, sentence structure, and spelling. However if you are a dog your writing isn't really that bad but, most dogs are smart enough to shit when they feel the need.


_______
Dirty old men need love too!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Huntbone's picture

when i have to go poop i like to hold it in cuz it feels good until its coming out wat should i do?

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Dear AC, The next time you are holding in poop and researching things, you should do a little research into some of the causes of colon cancer and what it's like to die from this malady.


_______
Dirty old men need love too!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Anonymous Coward's picture

I thought I was the only one in the world that does this but I like to hold my poop in too, I'm not exactly sure why but it relaxes me. It's almost like a drug to me. It seems to spur my mind into thinking creatively as well and I will almost always research things I'm interested in while I do it. I need to be completely alone when I do it to get the full effect.

One day I had a discussion about it with my girlfriend and found out that she likes to do the same thing which was quite a revelation for me. Then I decided to hit up Google and I found all these people doing the same thing in these comments. Now I don't know what to think.

Anonymous Coward's picture

I had 3 waves of poo in my uncles car. i didnt actually poop until the third wave, when a wet splash slipped out of my bunghole. it was about a 10 minute drive from a hockey game i went to. i didnt want to stop because all of the places we saw that might have had a toilet were in run down ghetto areas. so i waited until we saw a mcdonalds. it was closed. so i ran from there to a fancy restaurant a block away with poop starting to come out. it was like prarie dogging, but the prarie dog was finely blended to a milkshake consistensy. i reaked of shit and i didnt say anything to the people in the restaurant, just ran to the bathroom. there was only one stall in the mens room and it was taken. so, i did the boldest thing ever and ran into the ladies room with shit filled pants. some lady washing her hands saw me and started laughing. i shut the stall door and it was an immediate poop. the same moment my cheeks hit the toilet was when the poo was separated from my body. there was still a substantial amount of poo in my pants, so i wiped my boxers for 10 minutes. I walked out casually, and i had a skidmark that penetrated the boxers and was showing through on my khaki pants. everyone in the restaurant laughed at me when i walked out, and i had no idea what they were laughing about until i got home.

Lisa76's picture

@Helen Zass: Does a cigarette help you poop easier?

Anonymous Coward's picture

I cant hold my poop in. Im in college and the other day i was walking to my 8 am class, about a 20 minute walk, and i got the sudden urge of having to poop so bad that i had to go into a parking garage across the street, hide behind a car, and poop into my sweatpants (thank god cuz i was gonna wear shorts that morning and it was the consistancy of partially melted rita's water-ice and the sweatpants had elastic at the bottom tightly squeezed around my socks preventing it from coming out). i ended up having to call my little sister to come pick me up (which took about 20 minutes for some reason so i had to avoid people coming too close to me cuz it smelled incredibly awful) in my dads suburban sitting in trash bags until i showered off, dry-heaving the whole way.

Stool Holder UK's picture

I always wondered about this. It's good to know I'm not alone I have a thing about holding in my poop. I enjoy sucking it back in just before it's about to be released. Like others it makes me feel calm and relaxed and this can last for quite some time. I think the 'release' you get when you first drop your load can be amplified and lengthened when you hold it in and play with it a little before release. It's weird. The only problem is sometimes you might crap yourself!

Ocean of CRAP's picture

u have to poop it OUT because you will grow intestinal issues.

but u can hold it in once in a while

Anonymous Coward's picture

I am 21 and ever since I can remember I have had a fetish for constipation. I hold my poop in too but completely on purpose and soley for that reason. I'm sure it all makes me weird as hell but I can't seem to get rid of the fetish without feeling like I've lost all sexual feeling completely. I can't seem to change this so I'm well over the weird factor :P but I have always wondered if there was anyone else out there like me with the same or similar fetish.

Anonymous Coward's picture

i havint takin a shit for 2 months the trueth idk if i should see a docter and im not lieng two months

Anonymous Coward's picture

I really need to poop but it really hurts when I try, its hard and big and it wont come out!

however some of the stories and comments on here are gonna scare it out any minute, I don't want it to come out of my mouth!

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Sometimes the teacher is actually wiping the seat, which may be wet from someone's urine. Most of us prefer not to sit in urine, so we wipe it off. I know, there are some who take great lengths of toilet paper, lay it on the seat, and sit on that. Waste of paper. But it comforts some people, and I don't plan to become a t.p. Nazi on their account. Clean up a wet seat, yes; lay down paper to sit on, no.

All of this is off topic, of course; holding it in is fine until we can get to the nearest toilet; holding it in until it makes us constipated or sick is not fine.

Anonymous Coward's picture

How can the teachers and administrators justify wasting all that toilet paper? Don't they understand it inconveniences one or more of their students who need to shit afterwards?

Mandy's picture

Like Caryl Marie, I crap at my school almost every day. However, I've been in stalls when teachers or administrators have come in and taken the toilets next to me. The first thing I hear them do is roll off toilet paper which they place over the seat. Are they just doing this then to distance themselves from the students' butts???

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Dear Linda ... Contrary to popular belief it is very difficult to get crabs, pubic lice, from a toilet seat. Crabs that fall off a person are generally injured, dying, or dead. Any crabs on the toilet will be unable to grip the smooth surface, there little feet are designed strictly for clinging to your crotch, so they will fall off that, too. Sorry, you can't blame the toilet seat for this one.

Viruses etc., generally enter the body through one orifice or the other, unless you rub your asshole and pussy around on the seat the likelihood of contracting a disease by sitting on a public toilet is indeed remote.
The probability of damaging your body by holding in poop is a much more real possibility.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Lousy Linda's picture

Ok. Let's say you have a benevolent teacher who gives you permission to go and crap so you don't have to hold it until you get home.

What about the pubic lice or other diseases you can pick up from those wet and dirty toilets?

There's a reason why thinking people hold it in until they get home.

weinerpoo's picture

if you hold in your poo for too long, it'll come out of your mouth.

Pinkyp23762's picture

poop doesnt have feelings! o.O

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Dear Stacey: You can expect your body to continue to process what you eat so that at some point you will need to poop at school. Ordinarily if the need comes during or just prior to class, you ask for a bathroom pass, take it, go to the bathroom, do the deed in reasonable time, and go back to class. You will note other students doing the same thing. No big deal. Normally the teacher will permit one student to go at a time. If testing is being done, you may not be able to leave during the test, so be sure to keep up with the class schedule so you know when testing will occur and you can get your poop out ahead of time.

Anonymous Coward's picture

I've had alot of trouble my whole life with irregularity. My defecation is much larger than that of normal people- that's right- I have colossal poop.I haven't measured but sometimes it's over a foot long and so wide that it can't just go down the toilet- I've had to break it up with a plunger before. I don't know what is wrong with me. Eating vegetables prevents the problem, but the size is really freaking me out when I refrain from eating vegetables on a regular basis. My colossal poo is the product of severe irregularity most of the time. Sometimes I do a lot after just going a day before. Do I have a medical condition and if not, what are the health risks involved with these "monumental portions" festering in my bowels?

Gone &amp; Graduated's picture

Well, Stacey, here's the timeline for you. If it's before 10 a.m., you probably be able to sit down and shit like normal. Up until 12 noon, you'll probably want to put some paper on the soiled seat, but in the afternoon be prepared to squat straddle or hold it because the toilets will be just too gross for your ass to sit on.

Enjoy!

Freshman Shitter Stacey's picture

Out of all the posts, the one on the first page by Chastity on 09.18.2007 is the saddest. Whether it is teasing or bullying or for another reason, it is just not right.

For me, I miss the required restroom breaks of grade school. There would only be one class in the toilets at a given time and the lines were nowhere near as bad as at my middle school the past three years. I learned to go into a stall, sit down and sometimes drop a small log or two. At least that was better than getting stopped up later in the day and then trying to hold it until I got home. That was especially important since the school bus routes sucked so bad and sometimes I would be the last to be dropped off and like an hour later.

What can I expect in six weeks when I start high school?

Feelin&#039; Kinda Crappy's picture

Yeah, I'm in High School, and I have a bit a problem. For the most part, I can go to the bathroom normally, but if I skip a day or two, it tends to lead to many, and when the butt-buster finally wants to mosey on out, it hurts like HELL, and I have to use my fingertips to support my aching arse-hole. :( Any tips for me, please?

...Oh and before I forget - The longest I've ever gone without feeling the pleasure of waste leaving my body is 11 days...but that only happened once. Am I going to die? Because I'd really like to graduate first. ; )

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Why, of course paphne could take no offense--how reasonable! And what sweet sensible thought about women's jobs! Actually, our Daphne writes and edits (in her spare time from quite different work) stories and articles for this site--for which, our thanks!

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Dear AC ... Who the fuck is paphne???


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Anonymous Coward's picture

dear paphne your a woman, and a woman's job is to cook and clean not talk about poop, no offense

Caryl Marie's picture

I'm away at college, have a steady boyfriend, and since we're away from our apartment a lot of the time, if I was to worry about shitting in public toilets like some of the other posters have written about, my system would be really @@@@@@ up.

I just go into the first stall available, seat myself quickly, shit, clean myself, and then wash my hands. Note that I didn't include flushing, becomes sometimes I can't seem to get enough leverage on the flusher to get it to activate, and I'm not about to continue to sit and play plumber trying to get it to work.

My boyfriend, on the other hand, won't sit directly down on the seat without a paper covering and he will use many different excuses like stopping by our apartment to grab a credit card immediately after a game or concert before we go out to eat.

I wait in the truck and haven't confronted him about it, but 5 to 10 minutes getting the card and the skid mark evidence in the bowl is the giveaway .

Anonymous Coward's picture

I will hold my shit in for about 10 mins, and when I go to let it out, I tease it.
But when I let it out it feels so good.

Anonymous guy from chicago's picture

holding poop is great. i can hold iit in for a week, and releasing the poop is great. its even better when you wait two days after you took that poop, that's when you get the monster. anyways in my experience

poopmiester's picture

i got the feeling to poop but i cant i burp and it gets relieved for like 5 seconds... ps i have never held poop in longer than 10 mins cus i just cant i gotta go imediately

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

AC ... A better question would be, what has caused your obvious brain atrophy?


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

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