itchy ass crack

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Shecky asks:

For the last two months, my ass has been itching like crazy. I eat a lot of fiber in the form of Metamucil and whole wheat bread, so my turds are generally of a good consistency. I don't have hemmorhoids, and I would like to think that I don't have a parasite, but my ass still itches. It's not the o-ring that itches, but rather the area around it. It's almost like I have jock itch of the ass -- is that possible? I exercise a good bit, so it does get sweaty down there. Please help me, Poonurse!






Dear Schecky,

First, you know that I am going to tell you to get it checked out by a competent medical professional, right? It could be just an irritation, or it could be something as disgusting as pinworms or something. So see a doctor.

You COULD briefly try washing with a mild soap such as Ivory, letting the area dry well, wearing loose cotton underpants, not using premoistened wipes, and applying 1% hydrocortisone cream SPARINGLY to the itchy area twice a day. If these suggestions don't help within ten days or so, show your itching ass to a doctor.

Please be advised that I am only a Poonurse. I am NOT a medical doctor. Any advice I give should be taken moderate skepticism. Please consult a REAL medical doctor if you feel you have a serious medical condition.

-- Poonurse

Poonurse is an RN with 25 years experience in labor and delivery. Her qualifications include seeing a lot of poop, and owning a computer. Also, she works in Michigan, which she calls the asshole of the universe, so that's another bit of credibility.

Got a question for her?

990 Comments on "itchy ass crack"

Anonymous Coward's picture

The crack of my buttock has been really itchy for the past couple weeks. sometime if I were to scratch just inside the buttock it would feel a bit better. I have noticed now (2 weeks later) I have some kindof bumps in between my butt crack. The are itchy and kindof sore(from scratching). One if kindof round and flat above my bum hole and other other at the top of the crack before the vagina. Do you know what they might be???????????

Anonymous Coward's picture

BAM! One night it was on and it's been on ever since. That was like 9 years ago. Madness I tell you, madness!

Fellow anal scratchers, never give up, keep fighting the fight!

peewee's picture

It has been days now since my butthole have been hurting... I wasn't sure why.. and I checked it out myself today and I saw skin or some sort of skin maybe growing on top of the surface of my butthole and it HURTS so badly... I am not sure if it's maybe a pimple or rash thats growing from wearing thongs.. and it was tight up my butthole... I am freaking out because, it's painful and I am scared that I might maybe have cancer or something that leads to danger!!! PLEASES help its like 4 am in the morning and I am freaking out trying to call the doctor but cant get ahold of any of them.... so if anyone can help me that would be great. Is there supposed to be bumps inside the butthole or skin attach to it?

Anonymous Coward's picture

I had severe ass itch, and I figured out that it was cheap generic cashews! Cashews are very closely related to poison ivy, and if the oil from the shell isn't washed off the cashews, and if you're badly allergic to poison ivy, you can end up with ass poison ivy from cashews!

When I had ass poison ivy from cashews, it itched so much I couldn't sleep correctly for weeks!

Anonymous CowardLEE's picture

I HAVE PIN WORMS AND DONT WANT MY PARENT TO FIND OUT WAT CAN I DO TO GET RIDE OF THEM ? THANK

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

I'd answer that but I don't feel like it right now.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

SamDamnit's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

What's wrong with being lazy?

SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Or de-evolution, anyway.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

The Dumpster's picture
i 2000+ points

Well, along with the ex-Mrs. Dumpster's knuckle-dragging current husband (his name is Gurg, BTW), these goobers who google a humor site for serious medical advice are almost enough to make me believe in the Theory of Evolution!

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

You should read some of the bloody poop entries. It's amazing how many unregistered or single entry users show up there looking for advice. And they all have names along the lines of "really scared" or "red poop shitter".

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

The Dumpster's picture
i 2000+ points

I still note that this thread is made up almost entirely of non-registered users. I have concluded that these people have several things in common: (1) They are too lazy to sign up here; (2) most of them appear to be too lazy to maintain proper anal hygene; and (3) they are too lazy (or stupid) to GO TO THE DOCTOR when there is clearly something wrong!

I really, really hope that this thread isn't actually all of the regulars coming in here unregistered because even they as PoopReporters are too ashamed to confess the kind of stuff we are reading about here. Say it isn't so!!

Rock Star's picture

recently i have been taking Anon Coward's advice and checking my diet out. i stopped dairy the last 3 days. maybe that will stop the itching...?

Anonymous Coward's picture

for anyone with ring sting or an incredible wish to itch their grandmothers pokerered lips try using SUDOCREAM, widely available, helps prevent napkin rash, minor burns, surface wounds, acne and also chilblains

Anonymous Coward's picture

Just a little feedback for all the ass itchers. I know at night it gets rough to deal with. Take a peice of toilet paper and fold it. Probably 2 or 3 sheets. Align it in your ass crack where your cheeks dont touch each other. Trust me it does wonders. Free and better than any cream I have ever tried

Rock Star's picture

yeh - i usually do that. thanks for the advice smart-ass (he he)

Anonymous Coward's picture

ALL I CAN SAY IS PLEASE WASH YOUR HANDS, ESPECIALLY IN THE MORNING AFTER HAVING SCRATCHED YOUR STINKY BUTT ALL NIGHT LONG!

Anonymous Coward's picture

I have also had an itchy ass sometimes, usually at nite and it can get quite unbearable. When this happens I just get out of bed, surf the net or go for a walk, something to get my mind off it for an hour or two and it usually goes away. I think it is also bought on by stress.

Anonymous Coward's picture

Well, i have suffered from the same thing, itchy butt, for years, but the problem has gotten much better, for two reasons. The first is, i took diflucan (anti-fungal) treatment, and the second is, my doctor tested me for food sensitivities, and since avoiding those foods which i react to, my itching has decreased dramatically!!!

Rock Star's picture

So, i was searching around the web looking for info on my "chronically itchy ass" to which i have found no reasonable solution. just last night i couldn't get to sleep becos it was itching so badly, and then i went and had a shower which always seems to help. the problem seemed to start when i began recording my first album four years ago (those of you who wondered whether famous people participate in chat forums, here's your answer). i think it was brought on by stress. BTW i'm not really famous. if i was i would be sunning my crack on some exotic beach. i think the itch is increased (pun not intended) by sitting in a chair at a desk, becos i don't notice the itch when i'm walking down the street. like many of you, my itch is "bad in bed". i will keep you ass itchers posted on my success... thanks for the support. i feel much better now after realising i am not suffering alone!

PooNani's picture

Holy shit! What interested info here. I would occasionally get an itchy ass crack (well, around my anus) but it isn't severe. Finally realized why it happens.. it's because I don't scrub enough down there. I would usually just soap my ass, body and whatever.. scrub my whole body intensively once a week..

Anywho, I just wanted to say to those people who are embarrassed to see a doctor - whats more important.. your ass, or your pride?
If you're unhappy about something, change it.

Fart Poopie's picture
j 1000+ points

Those of you that are serious about getting help for your itchy ass, but are too embarrassed to see your regular doctor, go see a proctologist. Dealing with butt-hole problems is their job. If you have a good insurance you may be able to go see one without a referral, but many insurance companies require you to have a referral from a GP to see any kind of specialist. So... if the latter is the case you're in, then it sucks to be you. You're going to have to deal with your GP. If not, then good luck and please report on what your proctologist prescribed to relieve the itch.

needinfo's picture

i been having these itches for past 3 days, i need help on what to do? I had woken up 2 nights and i have to go to the bathroom because it itches a lot i cant stand it ? Do you think it could be pinworms? I also get itching during the day... so help please if u can i will try going to doctor to get some medicine , that hopefully would kill them or something ...flush them out.

help my ass itches's picture

My butt has never itched. I am a butt hole though, people call me a shithead, but, my actual butthole...not an itch in site!

Itchy Crack's picture

Wow... a whole forum to discuss itchy ass cracks. When I started my search, I wasn't sure I'd find anything useful, but besides the butt jokes, there is some good info here. I get a severe itching problem all in my butt crack and bottom of testicles after walking a lot in long pants (I usually wear shorts). I mean serious deep down itching. Also some bumps that even puss a little when it really flares up. Feels and acts like Poison Oak in my butt crack! Yowsa.

I think this is due to chaffing and the sweat, but now I think it also has some bacterial or maybe fungus going on. I find that neosporin and A&D ointment help quite a bit with the itching, but not completely... will try fungicide. But how do I fix this problem since it's continually moist down there?!

I also recommend getting a 2x2" gauze pad, slop on some neosporina and push it slight into your ass. This will eliminate the possibility that the itching is caused by leakage.

I am way too embarrassed to see the doctor (who is female), but may have to... it's getting unbearable. Should I go to a GP or proctologist?

Ideas welcomed!

my cool-ley itches's picture

every minute, every day after i go cocky
im itching it right now as im typing this message .......... he he

Anonymous Coward's picture

But cracks on a website is really funny but t5o be more serious they should talk about how important it is to take care of your butt crack. Oh yea My butt crack is fresh and clean.

The Dumpster's picture
i 2000+ points

Why is this thread made up almost entirely of non-verified posters? Then again, that's how most of us started (me just a few days ago), so maybe it has something to do with the First Amendment (which really applies only to liberals).

foofie's picture

I also have that itch in my asshole since late last year, I dunno but I just had it. It would be ok if its just an itch in the butt area, but the itch is really on the hole. It drives me nuts not to scratch that itch, and it feels good after it. The itch attack comes anytime of the day or night. I don't scratch it with my finger directly, I scratch it through my shorts or underwear brief in between gently until the itch goes away. When the laundry comes, my brief have poop traces. I wash my asshole thoroughly with a mild soap after pooping and bathing everytime. I just wash the external area of the anus so it's clean, scratching makes my finger go inside the hole about 1-3mm so it's natural to have poof traces after scratching through my underwear. If I could just wash my asshole up to the intestines, I will but that's impossible :-P. I just don't get it why is this happening to me. Having your laundry with a brief with poop traces is not so nice.

boner46769's picture

my rectum smells like tuna oil

anal itchies's picture

i'm serious here, when i scratch my ass, i get what i think is irritated dry skin under my nails and in my underwear. this time, after researching online, i looked and it's both skin and maybe fecal matter? i'm not sure if its worms. i'm trying athletes foot creme now, will try the grapeseed, bromelein, and witch hazel on the surface. let's see what happens.

Anonymous Coward's picture

have you ever tried lighting a match!

AssDoctor's picture

HAHAHA YOU GUYS AND YOUR ASS PROBLEMS!!! I HAVE A NICE HEALTHY RECTUM AND ANAL CORD SO ANALLY PROBE AN ALIEN HAHAHAHA LOSERS@

Anonymous Coward's picture

Hi.. on the top of my asscrack i noticed it itches n bleeds and theres liek ths extra bit of meat there.. wat do i doo im embarrased to go doctors n it leaks on my underwear and smells funny.. Please help me i dotn knw wat to do

Male's picture

I have itching problem for last 3 months.I am 36 year old male.Every time in pass stool it get worse.I went to doctor who told me that i got annal fisher.I use some cream and gel but it wont work.It come back and problem get worse every 15 days

Anonymous Coward's picture

quit scratching

Anonymous Coward's picture

i used to have the same problem, it started at 15 im 22 now so it seemed to go on forever . then one day i just got so fed up and grossed out that i ignored the problem, a couple antagonizing weeks later the problem dissapered

hannah and manda's picture

HAHAHA ME AND MY FRIEND MANDA ALWAYS GET THIS PROBLEM, its funny coz im so embarassed:(

Dave's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content Moderatora 10000+ points - Super Pooper

(For the record, I wouldn't take Dr. Pepper's advice.)

Dr. Pepper's picture

Hello everyone, My name is Dr. Pepper. I have noticed alot of you have a itchy ass due to worms up in there, This is what you do if you are too scared to go to the doctor. You can eaither...
(1)Get a cotton ball and drench it in rubbing alcohol and shove it up your ass. Do this for about 2 weeks straight and I can garantee you the worms will die due to them not being able to reproduce because they will go away from the alcohol and to reproduce they need to get out of the anus.
(2) Take a clove of garlic and chop it up into small enough peices that will fit in your ass. Shove that shit up your ass and do the same as with the alcohol. If the worms do not die after 2-3 weeks of doing this then I suggest you go get "the pill"
(BTW IF YOU PUT ALCOHOL UP YOUR ASSHOLE THAT SHIT WILL BURN LIKE A MOTHER BUT STILL ITS WORTH IT!)

StrangerDanger's picture

I got and itchy asshole a few days ago and its just ruthless. it just kinda got itchy one day and never went away. it got inflamed a bit in and around the anus and it just gets so itchy that you cant help but scratch it. im a pretty clean wiper and its not pw. idk how to get rid of the damn itch. any suggestions?

Anonymous Coward's picture

from one itchy butt to another
the problem in many cases could be the
toilet paper as a lot of the brands have
cedar fiber and your getting cedar poisoning
kleenex is the only kind i can use cost, more
but worth the extra

Anonymous PooP's picture

Thanks for all the insight....I will go see a doctor!

Chronic Anal Itcher's picture

Oh my gosh! I'm not alone. My butt has been itching ever since I was a child, now age 32. I knew I have worms because my mom used to pick them out for me with a piece of paper folded in a triagular shape as a child because I would be crying from the itch. She took me to a doctor, and I took the worm medication. When I pooped, the worms came out with the feces. They were varying sizes, and they hung out of my butt, and I had to pull them out with a paper towel. The itching stopped, but I had been terrified ever since. Six years ago, I have been having this recuring anal itching. It gets to the point where I have to go to the bathroom every 10 minutes to wipe my butt with a papertowel to relieve the itch. The itch gets very intense after an hour of pooping. So, I have to wipe my butt very good, and sometimes if I'm at home I would soak my itchy anus in a hot bubble bath. This is a short relief, but it feels sooo gooood to not be itching for just a brief moment. I don't remember what it is like without being itching all the time. I have been itching all over my body: my anus, my legs, my head, my back, my arms, my hands, even my vagina ithes. I cannot stand it anymore. To relieve the itch, I have to pick my butt(&vagina)with a wet Q-tip, and it has been saving my life!! Every time I pick my butt with a Q-tip, I would look for worms, and I would see them everytime. They look just like the Q-tip fiber. I know it's not the fiber because I can see it scriggling. They're even found in the vagina and occasionally in the ears and nose!! I went to see a doctor 2 years ago and told her that I have worms because I had them as a child and I see them everytime I pick them. She tested my stool culture, and no worm was found. Then I switched to another doctor, and the new doctor said there is no worm or parasites found in my stool culture. They both gave my prep h, and other rx to relieve the itch, but it doesn't help at all. I'd die with without a q-tip. I have to pick my butt every 10-20 minutes, and definely I would need to pick my butt before I go to sleep everynight. Otherwise, I won't be able to have a sound sleep. Desperately, I took an asian over-the-counter worm medication, and it didn't help much. I don't know what to do after seeing 2 doctors, and it is embarassing to tell them about it. I don't know what to do. The first doctor thinks it's all "in my head," and prescribed me an anitdepressant rx. I felt insulted, so I stopped going to see her. The second doctor was young and inexperienced. She's refering me to 3 different gastroenterologist. Good luck to me.....I hope there will be a resolution. I want a normal life. Tips: For all those anal ithers out there-->"Try picking your butt with a Q-tip instead with your fingers."

tested and tried's picture

i am 23 and have had an itchy ass problem which started very mildly when i was 16. noteworthy- i never have any poop problems so if that is a complementary sympton for you, we may not be in the same boat. my problem has, however, gotten progressively worse over the years. ive gone to several doctors and was put on several medications that did nothing. it became intolerable! the last doctor i went to was a highly recommended proctologist and he diagnosed me with PRURITAS ANI, which means ITCHY ASS in latin. it is basically an ass allergy. he had me remove spicy foods, caffeinated drinks, dairy, and alcohol from my diet. sure enough, when i removed all of those things, my horrid problem diminished! slowly adding those things back into my diet, the itchy ass onset re-occurred when i got to alcohol, specifically wine and hard liquor. sure enough, i had my first brief experience with hard liquor when i was 16 years old. now i know how to control it, and if i plan on indulging for any reason it will be more than my brain and stomach experiencing the hangover. hope this helps someone...

itchcrazy's picture

Hey, Im NOT alone. Ive been suffering an itchy ass since I was young. Apparently I also have soriasis (whatever). It used to drive me crazy as a youth, and I used to tug at my pants there until people started looking at me funny. Needless to say, a lifetime of taking it like a man has given rise to being easily irritable. Went to the doc ans was treated for PW. Lately ive tried ...Lol! Diaper rash ointment to kill the whirlwind of itching every time I take a crap or ride the bike to long, and it works but the itch comes back in time. Ah well, its nice to know that we are a all together itching and still living. Keep on keepin on you itchy cats out there! Woo-HOO!

Anonymous pet's picture

i found putting whipped cream on and around the anus then having my dog lick it off did'nt help at all..however for short term relief try camimile lotion, im also experimenting with zoviraz ill let u know the outcome

name's picture

For all you guys i would like to suggest drinking lot of water and eating non spicy foods including non veg(fish is ok)for a month will definately solve your problems related to anus.Drink atleast 5 literes of water per day.

Anonymous Coward's picture

if your butt is too itchy all the time try a howard on it wet the tp or get something like a wet wipe for it so when you poop your butt will be cleaner.. works fine..

Exhausted Scratcher's picture

Apparently I was alergic to the wipes. So I started wiping with just the t.p. and after a week or 2 it was all better. Not even the sweating is too bad a problem. My suggestion to everyone is DONT USE WIPES! If anything I wet a tissue and clean up after wiping. Its all good.

the 17 year itch's picture

I've had the itch for a while now too. I think i caused it by wiping too hard. Then when I take showers I really clean my butthole out extra good to make sure there's absolutely no poo in there. I also have the itching crease by the base of my ballsack but i've had that since i was like 12 i'm almost 30 now so i think it might be a thing where I can't stop scratching down there because I sort of enjoy the feeling of the scratching. Lately though the butthole itch is becommin unbearable I need to just not itch it and let it heal i think but it's just so difficult to not itch.

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