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itchy and lumpy anus

Posted 06.14.2004 by Poonurse (1313)
Laura from the UK asks:

My anus is always itchy. Sometimes I can't stop scratching. There are a few small lumps... what could this be?


Dear Laura,

Thanks for the question!

Sounds like hemmorhoids to me. Those rascals can get quite annoying when they think you aren't paying enough attention to them.

Make sure you wash your butt with a nice mild soap when showering. Use some baby wipes after each visit to the bathroom, don't wear thongs, and keep the area dry.

If this doesn't help, go see a doctor. Don't you people have a National Health Service, or am I (as usual) badly misinformed on such issues?

Good luck.

Please be advised that I am only a Poonurse. I am NOT a medical doctor. Any advice I give should be taken moderate skepticism. Please consult a REAL medical doctor if you feel you have a serious medical condition.

-- Poonurse

Poonurse is an RN with 25 years experience in labor and delivery. Her qualifications include seeing a lot of poop, and owning a computer. Also, she works in Michigan, which she calls the asshole of the universe, so that's another bit of credibility. Got a question for her?

In The Bushes (111) -- 06.16.2004

It could also be a pilonidal cyst, don't you think?

Jennifer (18) -- 11.11.2004

Ive been wearing a thong but now i find that its irritating my anus and vagina what do you think i should do?

John T (not verified) -- 12.29.2004

Fur Thongs work for me. sometimes a little gel works also!

The Shit Volcano (3646) -- 10.25.2005

Haven't you ever heard of hemmeroids?!?

Anonymous Coward (not verified) -- 03.28.2006

It could also be genital warts inside the anus

Anonymous Coward (not verified) -- 11.25.2006

recently during sex, my partnet spread my butt cheeks too hard and gave me a cut on my anus. now it wont stop itching!! is it infected?

Anonymous Coward (not verified) -- 10.09.2007

my ass just started to get really itchy like 3 days ago its itchy all day and it bugs the shit out of me and 2 days a ago the inside of my ass was burning what can it be

healthy 1 (1421) -- 10.09.2007

AC, I would be willing to bet any amount of money that you have the infant stages of hemmorhoids.

Hopefully, you don't get an ass ripping shit, or you will feel the upper levels of F5 pain.

Get some Preparation H. if you have a hospital pan in your house, fill it with lukewarm water & epsom salts, put the bowlin the toilet so the rim of the pan rests on the bowl, sit downon the toilet.

Also, a vitamin called Rutin, worked wonders for me.

Lastly, if your condidtion reaches the level where you need to see a doctor, request an ointment called Analpram. This ointment got rid of my burning itch in just days.

Oh and do NOT strain on the toilet.

Mr. Happy Crack (not verified) -- 10.23.2007

Use Penaten cream (find it in the baby section of your local drug store) http://www.amazon.com/Penaten-Skin-Cream/dp/B0006NYDSG.

No one has mentioned Pruritis Ani (not verified) -- 12.03.2007

A quite common condition is pruritis ani, a kind of infection around the anus...it itches and hurts like a bastard, and you can't think of anything else until you fix it! Diet can exacerbate it...beware of tomatoes and acidic juices, and try to keep the area clean and dry. Once I finally figured out what it was, I got immediate relief from a doctor...he simply painted the area with methylene blue (I think that's what it was), and it killed the infection. It came back, though, but now I control it with tea tree oil antiseptic cream, which I find at healthfood-type stores. I just put it on when it bothers me, and it saves me. Make sure you put some just inside the anus, too, if that area bothers you.

Anonymous Coward (not verified) -- 02.05.2008

I have small white or flesh coloured lumps that stick out around my anus they are itchy, does anyone have any idea as to what they are

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