my butt is leaky

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Alex asks:

Anal leakage. OK, I wipe my ass VERY well -- I mean VERY well -- and without farting, or much activity, I'll go back to the bathroom a few hours later because something feels a little wrong and I wipe my ass and it looks like I didn't wipe it the last time I shat. It's not liquidy or anything, it just looks like I didnt wipe very well. I don't eat any Wow chips, I don't drink, I've never had anal sex... I don't know why this happens. Anyone else have this problem? Is sweat like getting up in my ass and kinda loosening things up or something? Thanks for the help.





Dear Alex,

If you don't eat Wow! chips, don't drink, and don't have anal, exactly what the hell do you do for fun? That's the bigger question here...

Sigh. Seriously, it is probably just mucus or something. I wouldn't worry about it. If you absolutely feel like you have to have a solution, either:

  1. Go see a doctor.
  2. Try Tampax. The string can be discreetly stuffed up your butt to hide it. No one has to know you are troubled by anal leakage.

Please be advised that I am only a Poonurse. I am NOT a medical doctor. Any advice I give should be taken moderate skepticism. Please consult a REAL medical doctor if you feel you have a serious medical condition.

-- Poonurse

Poonurse is an RN with 25 years experience in labor and delivery. Her qualifications include seeing a lot of poop, and owning a computer. Also, she works in Michigan, which she calls the asshole of the universe, so that's another bit of credibility.

Got a question for her?












1641 Comments on "my butt is leaky"

Anonymous's picture

I have had the wet anus for forty years and after a BM you would swear one hour later that I did not wipe . I believe it is some incomplete evacuation of the bowels. I wipe and wipe and even after twenty five passes it still keeps coming onto tissues as poop, I sometimes wiped myself raw.

Now for my solution, get a shower head and put it on stream, not so much that it forces water into your anus but a good strong stream, now squat in the tub or hang ass over edge and let stream spray into your anus and even push anus out like trying to poop and spray anus from all angles for a minute or so. The result for me is that the problem is remedied until next BM. After next BM repeat water spray routine. I swear by it. Too bad I did not discover this for forty years.

Give it a try. I think it will work for most of you. As for the cause or cure, I have no idea but this works for me.

Good luck!

Anonymous's picture

My life sucks. I'm a twenty year old male and out of work and school because of this problem. I don't feel absolutely clean after a BM unless I take a shower. I also get sweaty in my butt area whenever I'm nervous or stressed.

I think I have a bad odor because I see people coughing or scratching their noses if they're behind me. I barely ever go out and basically lost all my friends because I'm afraid of going out and being smelly.

I'm majorly depressed because of all of this. I am taking 150mg of Zoloft but it's not really helping. I take prescribed polyethelyne glycol every night for soft stools. I really think all of this is caused mentally and hopefully some therapy will help so I can move on with my life and finish school.

Good luck everyone and stay fresh. : /

Anonymous's picture

What's up everyone? I had this problem two years ago, it lasted from March to July. I was on this forum all the time, looking for some sort of cure to this problem that left me hopeless, embarrassed, and worried. In my case, it started after the morning after the first night I ever drank. I threw up many times that night, and drank a lot of soda, vodka, and beer. After that, the leakage started coming, people around started to accuse me of farting but I didn't smell it, you all know what I'm talking about. So I started adding fiber to my diet, that didn't work. I took Metamucil, that didn't work either. I thought I would never shake this. Finally, for some odd reason I was watching Dr. Oz and the show mentioned how dehydration can effect your bowel movements, digestive system, etc. I realized that I hadn't been drinking enough water all along. I was only drinking 2 glasses of water a day, if that. So I started drinking a shit ton of water and the leakage was gone within a week! Give that a shot, only drink large amounts of water for a week. Best of luck to you all with this problem, hope this helps.

Anonymous's picture

I am a 21 year old female, young healthy, smoke cigarettes/weed & drink beer/alcohol on special occasions, I love anal sex, I don't do it all the time and of course I use lube.

I started doing that four years ago, it was great never had any bathroom problems until now. I didn't have any anal sex recently and the whole leakage thing just started last night when I was sleeping. This is all new to me.

I was feeling nausea, like I needed to puke I was thinking it must be a sign of pregnancy or fever? So I took an Advil and went to sleep. All of a sudden later on that night i felt a little wet stuff on my bed, I smelled it and knew immediately it was poop,
it was mostly water poop. After I cleaned up I went back to sleep thinking that it all over, just reminding you that I took the Advil so I was drugged up.

All of a sudden four AM in the morning it was leaking out of my anus again. My husband said I had the room smelling like poop and called me a "loose ass", this is so not funny. Now I'm researching and found this site, if this is the solution then I am going to try the diet and fiber thing. Hopefully this ends because I am too young for this. I don't want to wear adult pull ups at night!!!

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Dear Anonymous, Probiotics have everything to do with the things we eat. You don't have to take them in pill form but are better advised to acquire them naturally in your diet. They are available in most, perhaps all, fermented foods. Stock your pantry with yogurt, miso, natto, sauerkraut, naturally made pickles and a hundred other totally natural foods. Good health is only a meal away. Your gut performs better when it is home to beneficial bacteria.

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Anonymous's picture

YES I have the answer to the problem, FIRE the POONURSE!
I suffered from this for 3-5 years and it sucks. It's only partly related to the things we eat/diet.
Here it goes, the solution PROBIOTICS, there was that so hard?

It took forever to learn this on my own, it has cured my problem, hope it works for all of you also.
Six months no leaks, drips , or stains!

Anonymous's picture

*PLEASE READ FELLOW LEAKERS* I think the best way to tackle this would be to explain your dietary habits, history of constipation, diarrhea, related operations and such.

I'm 24 years old and I've had this problem for a little over two years now. I first noticed it at a night club when two of my friends asked something like "whoa did you fart?" and I said, "no." I noticed dampness so I went to the bathroom to check an there was a huge amount of brown like I never wiped.

Ever since it's been a daily issue I'm sure everyone is different but my story is I'm lactose intolerant. I was eating a lot of deep fried foods (bachelor food) since I moved out at 18, lots of soda, no coffee, I drank around sit to eight beers maybe two nights a week. I smoke a pack a day, and I smoked a joint almost every day. I've had major depression and anxiety for about four years.

I've always had problems with constipation and diarrhea, and I've always had a little random blood when wiping since I was little. I was pretty bad for holding it in while playing video games or whatever. I did gain a little weight maybe 10-15 pounds not long before it started.

Two years later I watch what I eat, I work out, I drink on occasion and I quit smoking weed. I've noticed the amount I wipe now isn't as significant but its maybe halved. About a year ago I also noticed that I'm not just leaking feces, but water.

I've noticed that when I leak water more people tend to notice the smell which I don't understand. I've had people complain about the smell around 30 times in two years, about 15 of those times were directed at me from good friends. Strangers won't tell you. I know now, more than my issue being a dietary problem, it's my anus. When I have a BM I never have a complete evacuation. I leak a little brown for a couple hours afterwards, but I also leak brown more significantly when I'm constipated and haven't had a BM in a while. The water leaking seems to be random. I don't know yet but I've had a colonoscopy 1 1/2 years ago and they said I was fine it's just anxiety. My family Dr. explained that your anus is like a tight fist, when your poop is blocked up, water can still leak out, I've had three different doctors stick their fingers up there and tell me its fine.

I think about it everyday, and I'm sure that with the incomplete bowel movements it isn't something that they can mostly find with a colonoscopy since you have to take laxatives to clear it out, as well as doctors checking your anus, its to mainly check for polyps and growths more so than the strength of your anus.

I've heard there's a procedure, where you drink dye and have a BM in front of an X-ray machine. I asked my Dr. and he said there's no such thing.

After seeing many incompetent doctors and gastroenterologists, I feel it's something I have to cope with myself now. I haven't found a cure but I've found a few things that help.

CHARCOAL, I attempted suicide a few months ago with sleeping pills and I had to down a liter of some charcoal drink. I crapped black for a week but it was the longest I've ever gone without leaking (maybe 10-12 days), and no noticeable odor (I even smelt the TP cause I was curious.

STAY AWAY FROM FATTY FOODS and binge drinking, I leak most after fast food, an Chinese or the day after a night of heavy drinking.

TRY METAMUCIL, I didn't like having to take it three times a day so I just have a little glass at night. It takes 72 hours to fully work, and you may have to experiment with different amounts.

DONT SKIP A BM, and don't hold it in, try and poop as soon as you can, and don't wipe vigorously, wipe gently and thorough.

TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR RIGHT AWAY. think about everything you need to say about your big problem. You need to be assertive and let them know it's not in your head, and be persistent. You may need to visit them a few times before they try and take action.

My problem still persists but these things I mentioned should help out a-lot. I don't think shaving would help unless you're not wiping properly.

Devon

Anonymous's picture

Ok..well. I read the comments and have a similar problem BUT my issue only occurs during sex. I end up with a smelly (not a BM smell) discharge. Then discomfort in the rectal area afterwards. I have had 3 natural childbirths and was told by my Dr that I have the right stuff for giving birth. In other words I don't need Kegal exercise.

I have been making changes in my diet. Eating more fiber. The research I have been doing suggests internal hemorrhoids and the fluid stuff I'm expelling is from that.

This is killing my sex life although my boyfriend has been very understanding.

Anonymous's picture

This site is priceless. I love to eat hot wings but the next day my ass is sweaty, my anus is sealed shut and when eventually I poop it is like fire. Those hot wings come out even hotter than they went in.

Anonymous's picture

I have AL as well. I had a duodenal swith last year and lost 115 lbs. Since I don't absorb fat just about every thing I eat eventually causes what I call the "Orange yucks". I only wear black slacks and use the stuffed TP solution, but accidents happen and usually at work.

I have started wearing clear plastic diaper covers over my underwear to stop the staining. Sometimes (well almost always now) I regret the weight loss surgery.

Anonymous's picture

Yes we sisters get it too. I'm trying to find a way to get rid of it. I want to know what causes it. I get embarrassed when I start to stink. Because I know if I can smell me others can too!

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

The only thing I can do anonymous is advise you not to go near the monkeys at the zoo while your butt is wet and red.

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Anonymous's picture

I have the same problem, sometimes I wipe and blood comes out. After about five minutes of being done in the bathroom I go watch TV and I feel it again, my butt is just all wet and red. I NEED A SOLUTION. I'm only 12 can somebody help me out?

Anonymous's picture

I had this problem for years, damned embarrassing. After finding this site and talking with a friend without really touching on this subject, we were talking hemorrhoids, he told me he has to take Metamucil every day for hemorrhoids so I figured I would try using fiber, after all if nothing else it would be healthier.

I'm a smoker and love to drink 3-4-5 cup of caffeinated coffee daily with a tablespoon of sugar and non-dairy creamer and I haven't quit yet. It wasn't long and let me tell ya a lot of little problems went away. Such as sitting there for ever sometimes which I didn't seem to mind for years cause I would smoke and read while doing it. Once in a while I would have this feeling a small amount was hung up and no matter how hard I pushed it just would not come out.

Now I'm not the type to put my finger anywhere around it to try and dislodge it so I would just live with it until the next time. After all, I was clean according to the paper! But within a day or so of taking the fiber I mean holy cow! Just slipped outta there like a new born calf and it didn't take what? maybe 6 squares of paper and hardly any thing there.

It's been about a year or more and I was just thinking about all you people writing on this thread so I thought I would share my story. This morning I was thinking about it before I had my coffee, I got outta bed and went in and just checked and came up clean as whistle, no pun intended! Let me tell ya, it feels just wonderful and God knows I feel your pain and I pray this helps a lot of you, and if it don't there's got to be some thing out there! Don't give up.

Anonymous's picture

Two of the most common reasons why this occurs:

1. Not enough fiber in your diet. (Note - don't take too much fiber suddenly as it can cause adverse reactions because the body has not had time to adapt yet.)

2. Lactose intolerance. There are lactase enzyme pills that you can take to help you digest lactose products once again (milk).

Anonymous's picture

I thought you were supposed to smoke through your mouth?
Butt I guess you could avoid lung cancer that way?

Anonymous's picture

So good to read that many people experience this problem. I thought that it was just because I am 68. When I told my doc. she basically said I would just have to live with it. Thanks for all the info.

Anonymous's picture

Being morbidly obese has contributed significantly to the poop problem. The fat pushes against the colon, and it in turn pushes against the rectum. Any feces in the area heads down the poop chute. I found that by eating high fiber foods, such as high grain breads, fruits and veggies, especially celery, the problem is lessened quit a bit.

Having a shower hose and rinsing the area daily with very hot water seems to help also. Being a heavy male, I have to sit to pee to avoid soiling myself. While doing so, I wipe to make sure any leakage is gone. Also, due to some minor urinary incontinence, I wear lined men's briefs. Haband sells them and they are comfortable to wear, washable, and also have odor control.

Anonymous's picture

Try horse chestnut herb. It really helps hemorrhoids and the discharge.

Anonymous's picture

Sit when you wipe!

Anonymous's picture

Have to agree with you. I have had mild problems in this region ever since I had my daughter ten years ago and they had to grace me with a somewhat complicated episiotomy. In the beginning it felt like they sewed everything up and I could not go at all then it gradually got better but with all kinds of wonderful symptoms that I didn't have before. I think your anatomical theory has merit.

Anonymous's picture

Not a smoker & still have the problem.

Anonymous's picture

First pay attention if this happens after he goes poop. If so, use a 3 ply Kleenex and fold and put it in the crack by the anus. (it will stay there by itself) I find this will soak up any leakage and usually can be discarded in less than 2 hrs. My theory is that the hole doesn't close up like it should.

Anonymous's picture

I hear you, and I have used panty liners but explaining why you buy them can be difficult so I came up with another method. Fold up a piece of 3 ply Kleenex and put it up your crack by your anus and that will soak up any leakage. Just remove after about an hour.

Anonymous's picture

Ok, so have many of the symptoms of others are for 3 months now. Took flagyl for 10 days, solved the diarrhea issue, but the leaking still persisted. Went to my GP and had blood tests done and stool sample. Stool came back negative, but have vitamin D deficiency big time. I have been taking 14,000 IBU of vitamin d (from Costco, d3, 2000 IBU tabs) a day now for 10 days, along with cranberry juice, probiotic, garlic tabs with B12, calcium tab and Costco fiber tabs 4 a day. Remarkable improvement so far, every day gets better! I have researched studies on Google about vitamin D deficiency and pelvic floor disorders, related to vitamin D deficiency. Give it a try!

Anonymous's picture

Just checking to see if anyone has responded to your post. It sounds like you could really use some help. Do you have anyone you can trust like your mom? If not maybe you could talk to the school nurse. If you read most of the other posts, diet may help you. Try the Metamucil as described and cut out sugar. I know how stressful it can be in high school and they never give you enough time between classes. Maybe some kind of pad would buy you time during class. I hope you find something that helps.

Anonymous's picture

I was afraid that this might be my problem. I love coffee. I love dry-butt more though

Anonymous's picture

I have the exact same problem. I have a job in which I drive all day. I have been wondering if sitting down for the majority of the day might be part of the problem.

Anonymous's picture

My problem is anal sex and I shit myself daily.

Anonymous's picture

Hello Everyone with Ass problems. My husband has this problem also. I want everyone to try a yeast cleans. First start with 5 garlic tablets at night before you go to bed on an empty stomach. Each morning when You wake up on an empty stomach. Take 5 acidophilus (good bacteria). Lots of water. All day long drink unsweetened cranberry juice. (1part cranberry juice 4 parts water). No caffeine and try to stat away from dairy Do this for at least a week. Very least a week. And don't eat junk food people. We are what we eat. Good luck
The Ass Dr.

Anonymous's picture

I need help!!! I'm 14 years old, just starting high school, and I have been having this problem too. I'm scared I will have it for years, I can't live life normally like everyone else, I have to sit in class and hope the bell rings so I can fix myself up again, and once I do everything and get back to class, I have been 5-10 minutes late!! Not to mention that I have to go to the bathroom in THAT class too. My friends have noticed my excessive use of the bathroom and have gotten suspicious. I don't know what to do, I'm so scared of the consequences of having this for years!!! I may never get to live life the way I'm supposed to. HELP!!!! I don't drink coffee and I don't drink milk, just please help me! I've run out of options.

Anonymous's picture

Guys and Gals, I no longer buy highty whities. I have had far too many racing stripes placed in them. It all started off a few years back when I had a huge poo, could barely squeeze the guy out, was like the Ron Jeremy of poos. Finally I got it out, and some tearage happened (anal fissure). As many of you, I was too embarrassed to see a doctor about my asshole, it's not the type of thing most of us are fond of doing. Getting our buttholes examined by some stranger is very awkward.... The fissure got worse and worse with every scheisse i took. I would wipe, and about an hour later I'd feel wetness in my gitch, so I'd run to the can and wipe my tar hole and ass cheeks. It would even cause diaper rash, I was like WTF. I had to use diaper rash cream. My arse was literally "pimped out". Finally one day I went to the doc, had a few beers before for courage, and he checked out my chocolate starfish. He gave me this stuff called 2% Diltiazem in Vaseline. I used that until the fissure healed, then started eating more fiber, stopped drinking caffeine and greasy foods and it went away. No more racing stripes, no more diaper rash. One bad moment that I'll never forget is I never told my wife about the problem. One day I was putting the Diltiazem Vaseline in my asshole, forgot to lock the bathroom door. My wife walked in while my finger was half way up my butthole with a jar of Vaseline in front of me. Her expression was priceless!!!

Anonymous's picture

#1) Don't get old...you won't like it! #2) I have some issues with poo seepage from time to time, & 'roids act up at times.
With 2.5 million miles of driving buses and big rig trucks, well, some poo leakage and 'roids are inevitable. The skid marks are a bummer, (pun intended for those Brits, etc.).
As I've aged, the poo urge hits hard and fast whenever it comes, and I'd better well have a toilet available, and now! After eating, I'll wait about a half hour, and sure enough, gotta poo and pee, the poo in sequential 'sets'; as it leaves the 'train station', another part moves in its place, and is sent on its way, until this whole process is complete. Oh, the feeling of being empty afterward--so good.
Meds don't help...they make the poo 'muddy' and like paste more often than not, if it's not diarrhea (a 'Blowout'). :-( If I'm lucky, I'll pass 'perfect' poo that leaves no marks or poo smears at all on me or the TP. Some days are worse than others. I have times when my intestines make loud noises as the last meal's food is slowly turned into poo...others around me will look and be surprised with the clearly audible gurgling, rumbling and other noises from my plumbing when this happens. At least "southwinds" (farts) are few and far between for the most part. Could be worse, I guess...-Rusty (age 52) :-D

Anonymous's picture

I have had the same problem for the past 10 years. I have always been a big milk drinker--cereal for breakfast every day and a large glass of milk with both lunch and dinner. I recently went on a "Low-Carb" diet and basically stopped drinking milk, as well as all wheat/sugar, etc. I still eat cheese, but my problem has cleared up completely. At first I thought I might have a gluten allergy or something, I occasionally will have a "free" day and eat whatever I want, excluding milk, and my problem is still all clear. I eat Flaxmeal muffins/cakes, etc so I am eating a high fiber/high protein diet. Not sure if it is cutting out Milk, or introducing a higher content of protein and fiber in to my diet, but I am all clean now. I still drink alot of diet soda and artificial sweeteners, but no leakage has reared its smelly head in weeks.

Anonymous's picture

I take really cold showers and it just *BAM* goes away. Sometimes I leave the window open too. Try staying cool in the air conditioning.

Anonymous's picture

Once I stopped :
1. Thumbing my asshole
2. Milking my prostate
3. Shoving ProActive bottles in my butt
and....
4. Shoving my fingers in my ass to massage my sphinkter

I was back to being tight assed and clean again.

Anonymous's picture

It's been awhile since I posted, but I found that my diet problem was SUGAR,SUGAR,and more SUGAR, I've found out that sugar and carbohydrates were causing excessive Bacterial overgrowth syndrome (BOS). When I went on a very low sugar and carbohydrates diet my symptoms improve greatly.

I also have hemorrhoids and need to use baby wipes to completely clean my rectum after using the restroom. Help me with this, and please report if this gives anyone else any relief.

Anonymous's picture

COMMON SOLUTION!!!!!!

So I sucked up my pride and got it checked out, turns out it was a lack of fiber in my diet. All my doctor told me to do was pick up a couple bottles or either:
Metamucil
Benefibre
Lax-a-day
Restore-a-lax

or an equivalent brand. Take the recommended doses daily and it should clear up eventually. It might take a week or so but you'll notice the change. I have not been fully cured yet as it was Friday we came to this conclusion but I'll repost and tell you guys how it's going.

-MrRager

Anonymous's picture

I have suffered from this for the past year. It is incredibly irritating and also embarrassing!

I started a 21 day cleanse last week and literally on Day 1, it was gone. In fact, every single crap I take, I barely have to wipe at all!

I'm not trying to pitch this specific cleanse, but essentially it is a while foods based cleanse. Nothing processed at all for 21 days.

In addition to following a veggie, fruit and limited chicken/fish diet, you have to take 9 of these fiber pills a day. I'm not sure if that was it, but it could have been.

I'm currently on Day 8 of the cleanse, and I haven't had a single recurrence.

My guess is that it's a combination of fiber and the absence of processed foods.

So thankful for finding this site and this new diet.

Anonymous's picture

Had this problem for about a month. I eat mostly fresh food so it was somewhat easy to narrow down. I suspected the olive oil and chicken bacon but after running out I discovered it was my cheap brand and nearly expired fortified orange juice with calcium and something else. Wahoo!

Anonymous's picture

Everyone suffering from this horrible "situation" should purchase a Bidet Toilet Seat to replace their regular toilet seat! It washes you off with warm water and then blow dries you off with warm air with the simple push of a button right there while sitting on the toilet after you've "done your business"! It's the most amazing toilet seat ever because you feel SO CLEAN afterwards! So there's no need to go to the shower to wash your butt and have poop mess to clean up in there, it's all taken care of on the toilet where it belongs!
You will absolutely love it! (In European countries they use Bidets, not Toilets & Toilet Paper - we need to adopt that practice finally in the USA)Go to www.biolifetechnologies.com
to see the "Coco Bidet" - (headquarters are in Oklahoma)

Anonymous's picture

I have fecal incontinence and I am very upset about it. My sphincter doesn't work, muscles are extremely week. I am going to physical therapy twice a week. If my therapy doesn't work the doctor will insert an artificial sphincter so I can have control of my feces. I am worried about what caused this to happen so far doctors don't know and I am going to be tested for MS.\
Good luck to you

Anonymous's picture

If excessive wiping has irritated your anus there is a product my proctologist recommended called Balyneol. It is sold in most pharmacies. You put it on the TP when wiping and it helps to clean the anus in a non irritating manner. www.balneol.com This product is a life saver for everyone with these issues and will help change your life tremendously. It will not fix the problems, but will help properly clean the affected area without severe irritation. I hope this helps.

Anonymous's picture

I had same problem at last ten year . every body hate me because of my disease or smell. but now i found a solution. i was meet her dr yeshi khando . this lady is god for me.

Anonymous's picture

Stop consuming caffiene.

Anonymous's picture

As previously mentioned, it is just leftover fecal matter succumbing to body heat and working its way out the sphincter.

Anonymous's picture

Well I always wash with water. If I ever had to wipe somewhere where I can't wash hemorrhoids start appearing the second day because of rubbing .

IBS NO MORE's picture
k 500+ points

Anal leakage is just another health problem easily resolved with Regenerative Eating. Just 2 simple changes to daily eating habits will fix poop problems pronto.

Read my profile (click user name), visit my website, download my free 7-Day Challenge to see for yourself what Regenerative Eating can do.

When you say the word “poop,” your mouth makes the same motion your butthole does when pooping…
The same can be said for the phrase “explosive diarrhea.”

IBS NO MORE's picture
k 500+ points

Anal leakage is just another health problem easily resolved with Regenerative Eating. Just 2 simple changes to daily eating habits will fix poop problems pronto.

Read my profile (click user name), visit my website, download my free 7-Day Challenge to see for yourself what Regenerative Eating can do.

When you say the word “poop,” your mouth makes the same motion your butthole does when pooping…
The same can be said for the phrase “explosive diarrhea.”

Anonymous's picture

I'm not sure if I'm crazy or overreacting to finding my boyfriend's fecal matter in the shower. It's happened a few times and he blames it on "backwash from my hair clogging the drain." The drain isn't clogged and I've had enough. Today I found it again and lost it on him. He really blows it off and blames me again as "bitching." I'm embarrassed for him and am losing my attraction for him because he takes no responsibility. Could this be a real condition and he's just in denial? I need answers. I'm desperate to find a solution. If not I'm going to have to leave him I can't keep finding this and being blamed for it. HELP!

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