my butt is leaky

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Alex asks:

Anal leakage. OK, I wipe my ass VERY well -- I mean VERY well -- and without farting, or much activity, I'll go back to the bathroom a few hours later because something feels a little wrong and I wipe my ass and it looks like I didn't wipe it the last time I shat. It's not liquidy or anything, it just looks like I didnt wipe very well. I don't eat any Wow chips, I don't drink, I've never had anal sex... I don't know why this happens. Anyone else have this problem? Is sweat like getting up in my ass and kinda loosening things up or something? Thanks for the help.





Dear Alex,

If you don't eat Wow! chips, don't drink, and don't have anal, exactly what the hell do you do for fun? That's the bigger question here...

Sigh. Seriously, it is probably just mucus or something. I wouldn't worry about it. If you absolutely feel like you have to have a solution, either:

  1. Go see a doctor.
  2. Try Tampax. The string can be discreetly stuffed up your butt to hide it. No one has to know you are troubled by anal leakage.

Please be advised that I am only a Poonurse. I am NOT a medical doctor. Any advice I give should be taken moderate skepticism. Please consult a REAL medical doctor if you feel you have a serious medical condition.

-- Poonurse

Poonurse is an RN with 25 years experience in labor and delivery. Her qualifications include seeing a lot of poop, and owning a computer. Also, she works in Michigan, which she calls the asshole of the universe, so that's another bit of credibility.

Got a question for her?












1641 Comments on "my butt is leaky"

Anal Slurpee of Death's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Thanks Watapoo.....I will take the xifaxan if I have a parasite but I don't know if that's the case because I haven't done an O & P yet......the situation was really bad the first few days this happened, then it got better just by taking Immodium....then it started up again and I am starting to think it may just be cool whip flaring up my IBS like you said but it has never been this bad and let me ask you.....have you had this happen with cool whip where it can last for days after you eat it?? I stopped eating it around the time of the first incident and I got better.....but you know how that goes, you feel better and think you can go back to doing what you did before especially since I didn't know what the culprit was?? Well, I did eat some and it happened again yesterday (day after I ate it) on the day of the week I had to get on a plane and fly to OR from Calif.....great timing. So I had to take 8 Immodiums before 11 AM so I would shit on the plane. I think my IBS is getting worse for some reason OR it's simply from Cool Whip.....it has a lot of fat in it. It reminds me of what happens when I have milk but way worse because I have never shit my pants that bad in my life. I am a researcher for pharmaceutical companies and have done many GI studies but to my knowledge there isn't anything that great on the market for IBS that I would want to take so I guess I'll stick to the fiber pills.....I do eat a lot of fruit and veg too. Thanks for your input.

wotapoo's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Anal Slurpee, Cool whip isn't dairy free and it is an IBS trigger food. I don't have AL but have had leaks when I haven't made it to the bathroom fast enough. (It is horrifying, isn't it?)

If this is a brand new problem, sounds like maybe you did eat something that was bad, or sent your IBS into massive overload. You might ask your doc for xifaxan--it's an antibiotic that you take for two weeks and helps some folk with IBS. Next comment is what *type* of fiber are you getting? Soluble or insoluble. You want soluble fiber. That will help firm up the runs.
Xifaxan didn't do a whole lot for me, but a radical diet change has vastly improved my IBS and I usually only have to make an oh-shit run (You know, if you don't run fast enough to the bathroom the shit cometh forth where ever you are) when I eat something I'm not suppose to.

Hope this might help.

Anonymous Coward's picture

I am so glad I found this page! I've had leakage off and on for years, but I eat a high fiber diet and drink lots of fluids. I had to give a "sample" at my last checkup and it didn't show anything. The wetness usually starts late in the afternoon and I have to spray perfume on my chair at work then sit in it. Excessive flatulence runs in my family too. It's so embarrasing when I have to get up and walk around the office. I'm afraid everyone can smell me.

43 yr old female
No meds other than thyroid hormone

Anal Slurpee of Death's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

For all of you guys out there who have complained about sweaty butts and have no answers.....I have one. Anti-perspirant. Use it like deodorant in your butt crack and it's supposed to work very well.......why wouldn't it?? Sweat is sweat. I am new so someone may have suggested this before but I didn't see it.

Anal Slurpee of Death's picture

I travel weekly for my job. I have always had shit issues such as IBS.....either I'm plugged up or have the Hershey Squirts but the worst incident of my life happened a week ago and now I'm scared that it will happen again or worse, keep happening. I didn't feel that great in the airport but nothing major....just a little stomach runbling. I also had a little gas. I took the 4 hour flight w/ one stop in between and when I got off the plane and as I was waiting for my husband to pick me up I suddenly felt wierd down there but really no crmaping or anything.....all I felt was wetness. I ran to the airport bathroom and I had totally shit myself and there was a lot but it just came out w/ no warning and I didn't feel it until my underwear was wet......needless to say I panicked, shit was everywhere. I had an extra pair of underwear in my travel bag so that was good but that night I woke up in a pile of shit again at 3 AM......during this time I started having stomach pain but never anything that warned me I was about to shart so badly. I went to the Dr.......he said it was food poisoning because of the way it just came out and I'm not old enough to have weak muscles. Over a period of 3 days I took Immodium and started to feel better. Now a week later I'm feeling it again so I think it has to be something I'm eating. I ate only bland food during the worst of it and then a few days ago went back to my regular diet which included loads of fiber.....I'm a vegetarian but I have to say I am lactose intolerant and I eat cool whip every day.....it may have some lactose in it, I haven't checked because it's supposed to be dairy free and I never had a problem w/ it before.......I don't know but this is killing me because I almost did this on the plane.

Rubberband Dude's picture

hey guys, just though i'd drop by to let you know that i'm still alive (barely)

i was wondering... any of you who have been studying this for a while noticed that this condition is evolving in consequences?

i mean the overall result is leakahe, bad smell and sweat but the reason why this is seems to be different.

right now what seems to be my current reason is the skin around my anus seems to be trapping pieces of shit which is impossible to whipe. i dunno anymore if there
s supposed to be some remaing residue around there no matter how well you whipe but this is my current status.

ever time that i go to the toilet, i pretty much need a shower and clean correctly with my fingers several time to remove all the little pieces that are stuck around there.

i guess thats still due to shit coming out and not having enough push so the muscle contracts too early and squeeze the last bit out which often explains why there's sometime a little piece stuck inside (which might or might not come out soon after). but yeah... whenever that happens... its just impossible to clean properly with just paper. i need several baby whipes and dig deep to get it sort of clean and even there... i wouldn't call it perfect.

i wonder if thats due to straining which has made the skin too elastic.

nyway... i'm about to quit my job and just go around have another lifestyle change (my second one since the condition started). maybe if i don't sit on my ass 18 hours a day, my ass will thank me for it.

PS: if you doubt that we don't whipe properly, i wonder how anybody's ass can survive to proper whiping. some of us whipe until it hurts and its still not clean.

Jackie's picture

GI doctor said to take 1 tablespoon of psycillum husk powder per day as needed. It takes some of the moisture in the intestines and compacts it into nice no mess poops. Don't even need toilet paper. You may have to vary the amount up to 1 tablespoon or 3 teaspoons per day until your body adjusts to it. Use only as needed and directed. You can mix it with water,juice or sprinkle it on cereal. It is inexpensive and I use the brand, Yerbra Prima.

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

Chief, suck it up. I've had this infected hangnail for about three days now and you don't hear me complaining.

Stick around, everyone loves you.

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Chief, Mullet, its people like you that make me ashamed of myself for whining and bitching about trivial things, and remind me to be grateful for what I do have. Thanks for that, you bastards, I hate you.

Uh, I mean...um....yeah, you make me laugh and stuff.
_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Blind Mullet,

I feel that I should respond to your post made on 05.01.2008. I have a few problems also. I am a diabetic and must watch my diet very closely This precludes many of my favorite foods.

I have bad gout and experience quite a bit of pain just in the simple act of walking.

I had prostate surgery several years ago and must stick a catheter up my Willie several times a day just to urinate.

My wife has severe osteoporosis and her medication is phenomenally expensive. I must work part time to pay for it, pain or no pain.

Considering the alternative I think life is wonderful and hope to enjoy it for a few more years anyway. Laughter is the best medicine and poop report makes me laugh.
I hope some of my musings have brought laughter to others.

_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Dear Fecal Genius,

Thank you for shedding light on what has been causing the bad taste in my mouth. I
have been moistening the leaves, I am an alfresco pooper when possible, with saliva after using them. You indicate that I should do this first.......Thanks.

_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Fecal Genius's picture

A lot of people claimed they wipe thoroughly, although I doubt it. The solution I am about to propose might have been listed already somewhere else in the multiple pages of comments... but I can't be bothered with searching for it. Anyway, without further delay:

When you wipe your ass in a civilized location, that is to say, your own bathroom, hotel restroom, etc... then after you feel you are finished, take a new wad of paper and wet it under the sink faucet. Do this wet wiping once or twice to be certain that any dry film of shit will not later be moistened by your sweat, causing an irritating return to the john later.

If your working out in the field, or otherwise away from a restroom, you can spit on whatever implement you use to wipe your asshole, facilitating the wet wipe by means of your saliva.

It follows of course, that after the wet wipe, you must do a final dry wipe to insure a sparkling clean poop shooter.

Thank you for your time.

The Fecal Genius.

The Dude's picture

A Breakthrough for me....

I have had AL for a while and finally had a breakthrough. My anal area woild alsways slightly leak after a bowel movement with the usually rewhiping..etc. Anyways, it always seemed that beyond the leaking that
there was an access of moisture or sweat just outside the anal cavity. So today after whiping I clean myself good with moisture wipe and placed a folded kleenex just outside the anal cavity (make sure you don't actually place it in the cavity itself). Anyways, the leaking stopped, not even tiny bit of fecal matter on the kleenex. Theres something about the excessive moisture on the outside of the cavity that draws the fecal matter. Once I made it dry in there...nothing came out...... I'm debating tring some anti-perspirent to s
ee what happens... try it...

jayhill's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

One of the great things about this site is that you discover others have to cope with problems that you thought only you had. From time to time (thankfully not a daily thing!) my rectum does not seem to fully empty even though I think I've done all I can do. (This would be the morning dump.) Then later (sometimes like twenty minutes, sometimes a couple of hours) a small truant makes its way to the tunnel opening, just enough to mark my underwear. Disgusting! (I'm a teacher and started keeping an extra pair of underwear at school so that I could change). This happens no more than twice a month but it has really bugged me. Though I don't wish unpleasantness to anybody else, I do get some comfort from knowing I' m not alone.

Anonymous Coward's picture

lol had the problem for as long as i can remeber . im 25 male eat fairly well dont drink smoke alotta weed.
like everyone else thought i was alone. im glad there are others out there lol

Blind Mullet's picture
k 500+ points

Ha! Ha! Haaaa!
Somebody give Bilge a +1 for that last post, please!!!

The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Let me guess, Lizzy, you're 14, live in the Ozarks, and Uncle Billy-Bob-Jim, also your brother, is your blissful husband. You mistook the laptop the traveling salesman had with him (you know, the guy you and your hubby kept in the shed, fattening him up for slaughter to make sausage out of) as a new fangled Etch-a-Sketch, but were half bright enough to figure the darn thing out, and now you're rapidly becoming an almost famous interwebs Troll. If I'm not right on the money, here, I know damn well I'm pretty fucking close...I'm good like that.
_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

lizzy baybee's picture

everyone, i am in love with my anal leakage! it feels sooo good i just wish i could lick it this one time i was in a restaurant and outtas nowhere i pooped my pants and then my date like the hottest guy ever was like ehw and i was like sorry some times it just slips not my fault man but i love my anal leakage and if yoh got a problem with it then hit the road jack and he was like no i don't your mad hott so i think i can live with it and now we are married isn't that amazing gotta love the anal leakage! <33 yoh anal leakage

adolf shitler's picture

hello, I have had this shitty problem for something like 6 months but i have begun to figure it out and destroy it. I had a pilonidal cyst removed over a year ago and the wound never healed, causing me much anxiety about the draining scar. This caused problems in the poop department because I was worried it would break the scar open and spill blood into the toilet (sexy isnt it). During this time I began to heavily abuse weed. The weed eventually tied itself to the anxiety and everytime I smoked I was straight stoned and depressed instead of experiencing the high. The poop problems gave me severe social anxiety as you probably all experience, and this was after a life of being the class clown loved by all. I watched my friends disappear because I wanted to be alone all the time getting high. The poop problems caused me serious anxiety/depression which in turn fueled the poop problems. I then decided this is bullshit on the brink of suicide; why let this ruin my life. So I solved it.

Stop smoking weed. It fucks up your brain. It is tied to panic attacks and schizophrenia, there is your evidence. It also contributes to anxiety, which has an enormous effect on the digestive system (constant farting and irregular shitting). Stop taking percocets and lortabs, they make you contipated. Stop binge drinking at least if you cant stop.

Try these Kegel exercises everyone talks about. Do three sets of ten a day for 6 weeks. Stick to the plan firmly and be pissed at yourself if you stray. The success rate is only like 60%, but can it really hurt to make your butthole stronger?

Make your diet more regular. Dont eat too many pizza rolls and super processed foods. Eat two or three apples/oranges a day and you should be good. Don't take too much extra fiber supplements, that just stretches out your bowels and eventually you will be in Depends by 45.

Here is the key- eliminate all anxiety from your life. Practice meditation and various other calming techniques. Get enough sleep. Eliminate anything that causes you to be depressed and slowly your serotonin levels will increase and improve your gut motility. Truly believe that nothing is wrong with you and constantly reassure yourself you are getting better every day. Share these problems with loved ones and eventually you will see results.

Good luck everyone be strong.

King's picture

It sounds like ulcerative colitis, this is inflammation of the colon (the lower end of your digestive system just before you sphincter-the opening). This inflammation causes sweating as the body is releasing mediators to promote healing, also the area is furthermore moist as the inflammation is causing incontinence as the colon can not work as it should. Previous posts have stated that anti-inflammatory cream relieved sweating which supports my hypothesis, also increase in dietary fibre softens the stool allowing it to be easily passed causing less inflammation. Previous post have also suggested a reduction in caffeine which would also aggravate inflammation and supports my point. My advice is get a colonoscopy to rule in or out ulcerative colitis, it's worth a shot anyway and does explain the leakage issue described.

Powder may work as a short term relief, i do not advise the use of anti-inflammatory cream as it can cause tissue damage. Waterproof stick on patches can be bought at any stitching or knitting shop and can be added to the inside of pants to help prevent marks developing on the outside of your pants until this is fully resolved.

Anonymous Coward's picture

Stop eating oil, grease, and junk food.

Bug Boy's picture

I am theorising here, but from all the symptoms, bad diet, coffeine, antibiotics, it could be that the bowel is overun by bad bacteria. Bloating, farting and headaches also come with the territory.

A simple fix for this is acidophilus powder. You can by it at the health food shop, mix it in a glass of water an take twice daily.

This is a common cure for yeast infections.

PoopyNoMore's picture

It could be food allergies. I used to have the same problem. I found out that there is this hereditary disorder called Celiac disease. It means you're allergic to gluten found in Wheat, Barley and Rye. The only remedy is the elminate gluten from your diet. Look for "gluten free" foods on ant search engine.

It'll take a while to completely get it out of your system and get back to normal. You can take suppositories to clean yourself out once or twice per day until your gut gets back to normal.

turdarse's picture

I suffer from AL aswell not as bad as some of you bloke's, I heard if you have a smoke while doing ya deed, It can loosen/relax your anus, and coffie, so stop smoking on the dunnie!! maybe!!

Possible Solutions's picture

I've had AL for several years, and have had some great success with several approaches:


1. I got maybe 80% improvement through taking Acidophilus Bifidus, which is essentially a digestive enzyme. Cheapest online source I found was http://www.puritansale.com which sometimes has free shipping. I've used "ProBiotic Acidophilus with Pectin" from that site with a fair amount of success. Best taken several times per day, before meals if possible. This was the first thing I tried and it helped a LOT.


2. Since I wanted better than 80%, my doctor prescribed Glycopyrrolate. Started on 8mg/day which was way too much for me, leading to nasty cramping and constipation. 1-4 mg/day is about right for me, and does a great job at stopping AL and giving me normal bowel movements. Only side-effect is dry mouth, so I try to take a smaller dose in the AM. I'm now experimenting with combining Digestive Enzymes with even lower doses of Glycopyrrolate; so far, so good.


3. Doctor also prescribed Cholestyramine because of my concerns about dry mouth. However, I haven't yet tried this. From what I've read, it's more difficult to take (dissolving in water; lousy taste), but it may be a good solution for some. My dry mouth is much better with lower doses of Glycopyrrolate, so I'm sticking with that for now.


AL was driving me nuts, but the above has essentially stopped the problem. And, my diet remains terrible with excessive caffeine and an absence of vegetables, so I probably will get even better results by changing that as well.


I hope this information helps someone out there.

Anonymous Coward's picture

I found my cure. I suffered from this condition for about 10 years. Once I started working after college is when it hit me. The cure is Metamucil capsules, which I've been taking for about 3 months now. I tried taking the powder version but that stuff is nasty and I couldn't stomach it twice a day. Now I take 3 capsules in the morning and 3 at night and I'm good to go. No excessive wiping, solid consistency, and I remain clean. These capsules make me feel more secure than I've felt in 10 years. Thank goodness. If you suffer from this affliction, then try the capsules.

Ian's picture

Hey I Fucking despise life!!!

Been there, don't fuck around on here trying all the tips this problem can be brought on by a multitude of different causes. From a fissure, IBS, bad diet, polyps, partial colon colapse, or anything else. That's important because multiple causes means multiple cures, so what worked for someone else most likely won't work for you.

I'm in your shoes 18, no license, no job. I managed my problem to get it under control to build up confidence and get a little bit of my social life back. After that I manned up told my mom and finally went to a docter. They gave me a rectal exam (finger in the ass NOT FUN!), but worth it. Didn't find the problem but eleminated a few (fissure, for one). Then they set me up for a colonoscopy. When I went to that (I'm f'ing poor) it was in a free clinic type place and the docter pretty much just gave me a few things to try until my next appointment at the end of the month. I cut out all dairy (no cheese means no pizza, what a bitch) and take a lactaid with every meal/snack. In the next week she wants me to take a peptid with every meal. So far no good. I pretty much just have to wait until we start running real tests. I don't know if you've tried metamucil, I made a whole post about the wonders of it a while back (again it might not work but you should give it a try it won't cure it but it makes it manageable).

Anyway just hang in there, AND GO SEE A DOCTOR!!! Getting over this is both psychological and physical. My sister making a leaky ass joke makes it seem less of something to eat a bullet over (which I almost did). Well gotta go wipe...

no more smells..:))'s picture

just got back from hospital after having an colonoscopy..i think alot of peeps who sufer with anal leakage and smells need to have this done because ive had anal leakage and really foul smells from down under and plucked up the courage to have it done..and the final results are ive got overactive anal glans witch is causing the smells and leakage.i bet alot of peeps on this site sufer with the same problem..im getting treatment for this starting from today ive been prescribed ciprofloxacin 500mg tablets 2 week course also metronidazole 400mg tablets 2 week course and also cut out beer/wine and eat lots of green salad....ill let you all no how i get on in 2weeks time :)...
ps.. sorry about the bad english..

Possible Solutions's picture

I only have problems like this when I don't follow my routine, or I run out of product. Every few weeks I use Nair or Veet to remove the hair all down the crack and through my under side. If I go number 2 I try to do it before my shower. After my shower I spray everything with an all natural product you can get from Home Depot called Siamons Mold Control, or Concrobium. It is a product designed for mold, but is simply a food by product, that is scentless, and inhibits the growth of mold, bacteria, virus, and fungus which all smell. Then I coat everything with Gold Bond body powder. Also as I was reading I realized that no one said anything about getting colonic's. Check into it. It is like the reset button for your butt.
Hope this helps.

Anonymous Coward's picture

I too have the problem of wiping myself and then discovering 30 minutes later itchy butt and the need to wipe a second time. It can be bad sometimes because sometimes the poo leaks through my boxers and pants (if the fabric is thin enough) and can smell up chairs, etc. It's not visible, but the smell leaks through, if that makes any sense. I have other problems like a leaky penis after I pee too, so it might be I'm abusing my digestive system somehow. I went off coffee for a while and that helped some (especially itchy butt) but I couldn't stay off it. I might switch to the metamucil solution.

Shlepping Fool's picture

Well...I have read all pages and skimmed through pretty much every comment. I'll do this in point form, so as to increase likelihood of people reading this!!

    My problems:

Severe constipation
Anal leaking
Smell (see previous)

    My Medical Diagnosis:

Constipation
Enterocele
Anal sphincter dis-coordination.

    Was Recommended:

Biofeedback treatment
Keigel exercises.

    Have tried:

Fiber
etc.

    My Conclusions:

The enterocele I was diagnosed with is not normal, but apparently has no effect on constipation. The more research I do, the more it sounds like i have a rectal prolapse, even though the last examination I did clearly says none was found.

I plan on going back and trying to push the rectal prolapse thing again. See what happens.

Everything mentionned in this forum is only a temporary solution, if it works. For example, the fibre helps me eliminate more, but it does not solve the anal leakage or smell issue.

Some thing is clearly happening in my case that is more fundamental in nature. Either I need surgery for something, or need extended bio-feedback treatment.

Any ideas? :)

Taint&amp;anus's picture

hey it's me again, yeah the guy who wrote that long post complaining about life. To "blind mullet" okay u kinda have a point, life does have it's good moments it's not all bad. I do cherish some things i have in my life. I love music, my favorite is KoRn and i also like the band Kittie alot too. I'm actually using my ipod touch to type this very post. And i also cherish the one friend i have left with all my heart. She's the greatest friend i ever had. So yeah ur right i guess life is good....A little... And many others have it way worse than me so i guess i'm lucky to be who i am. Well thanks for cheering me up, bye. Take care.

Blind Mullet's picture
k 500+ points

Dude, theres not much I can say that hasn't been said on this thread already, but believe me, life does not suck.
I'm just an ordinary bloke, with an ordinary job, and I've just come through radiation and chemotherapy for bowel cancer. There is a very real possibility that I will require surgery to cut out my butthole and fit me up with a colostomy bag.
I would gladly swap cancer for a leaky bunghole, any day.
Life is good, man. Cherish it.

The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

Anonymous Coward's picture

i have had this proublem for close to a year now, 2 times when i had to go on antibiotics for an infection ( ear both times) i noticed the wet poop stopped, so did the odor,, is it possible this has something to do with some kind of infection??

I fucking DESPISE life!!!'s picture

hey everyone, I'm a 20 yr old male and i just happen to suffer and i really mean suffer, from anal leakage just like the rest of u!! It's been going on for about a month now... :-( i read alot of the previous posts and based on them i'd say my cause of AL is probably my stupid-ass diet. It turns out i've been eating all the wrong things!! Wtf?!!! God, i can't even describe how much i fucking hate life!!!!!!! Yes, suicide is the best answer but I'm too much of a pussy to take the pain and lack the resources!!!! But since i'll apparent live until I'm like 80 like everyone else, i'll just have to solve this al problem somehow. I have to eat more fiber like u guys have all said and drink lots of water too and eat raw vegetables and fruits and shit like that. And i apparently must also stop being so rough on my asshole when i wipe/clean it. I've been obsessively cleaning my anus with soap in the shower and now i know that this only exacerbates the problem. Gotta b more gentle and less thorough...sigh.....Fuck...this really really fuckin sucks! Why the fuck is this even allowed to happen?!! There is no god...if there where, feces wouldn't even exist unless god's a fucktard. I mean seriously who's fucking idea was it to make humans have to shit?! Shit is the worst thing ever. No human being should be subjected to such a cruel punishment! No one! What the fuck did we do to deserve this? so depressing and angering this problem is. I can't be around people because of it... How the hell can i get a job when i smell like ass all the time? No one's gonna hire me. I've never had a job in my life and now that I have Anal leakage or AL, I've even less of a chance then I did b4. Without a job I have no money, without money I can't buy the things I need to solve this problem and If I can't solve it I'll just cry myself to sleep every night :-( my only hope is relying on my family for money... Gotta mooch off of my sister some more....Shit...I'm sorry guys for all my cursing and drama and stuff but I'm just really upset about my AL problem and I had to let out my anger. Sorry u all had to read all the whining and cursing. And thanks for all the previous posts which contained all of those helpful tips. I will try them when I get the chance and I really hope it works cause I must be cured... I feel bad for everyone else here too cause i know exactly what it's like to be in ur shoes... I hope everyone here solves their al too cause it's so painful to hear about others who suffer like myself. Good luck every1 wish me luck too...please respond if u can cuz I'm very sad and just need to know that somebody else hears me and that i'm not alone. Please... Write a response...thx bye

no more smells..:))'s picture

Ive read nearly every post on this site..i have problems down below with sweaty arse and foul smells i really think i can help alot of men and women here..ok heres what you need to do just click on this link and your prays will be answered.. let me no what you think im going to buy 10 pairs.. :)))
http://www.myshreddies.com/

THIS IS NOT A JOKE ITS THE REAL DEAL....

Josh  (has a tip!!)'s picture

last night i drank three glasses with two HEFTY spoonfulls in each.

just had a small/regular bowel movement. feel kindof constipzted but i had a large meal at provino's last night. waiting for huge explosive rubbery poo that u see come out when people detox thier colon's (if u havent seen this google 'colon cleanse' and hit images. WHOA!) this is what i feel needs to happen to me.

does anybody else poo, then stand up and have to finish? in small portions i take a poo in five sittings througout the morning.

TIP- dont scrubadub dub your butthole with soap and a rag or relentless scraping w/ toilet paper! we are prolonging and increasing irritation by not wipinmg regularly and leaving it alone. i understand your like "what!!!??? i need to be clean and not smell!" but just try to REDUCE the amount you abuse your butthole and in a couple weeks it says thanks by LOOKING and feeling four years younger!

i know im too chipper but ive had this problem a long time i've learned its just a part of my life that im not gonna give in to just like any other. no giving up! people take thier lives because of this. we can make our doctors see this

Josh (please reply!!)'s picture

i have sweaty/leaky butt, my family thinks im being rediculous, i have dropped out of highschool and basically my life. all i do is sit at home.

has anyone considered that this is a yeast/candida problem??
i figured out to take metamucil on my own, ive been doing that a long time. i guess it i keep it up because it helps? but the problem is deffinatly around.

i feel inhuman.im almost considering the tampax just for a healthy socisl interaction where im not afraid of smelling, which by the way i think is mostly gone, and only i (who deffinatly has a very super-nose) can smell me.

my GI doctor gave me suppositories to reduce mucous. loads of bloodwork returns no obvious medical condition or disease

i smoke alot. pot makes alot of mucous in youy body afteer three years of constant use. something for me to blame

BUT HERES WHAT IM GETTING AT

is it sweat or a leak? or a leak that happens when you sweat maybe haha? does anyone else feel little bubbles slipping out your but when you are siiting?

has anyone ever tried taking like ten spoonfulls of metamucil at one time to empty yourself out? ill try it if no one else has

AmericasPoopland's picture

Thanks for this site and this thread which has hopefully lifted a great weight off of my ass. I have mucous leakage. I'm going to get some metamucil and eat more raw vegetables and fruits. Now, here's the weird observation and question I haven't seen mentioned yet. I was surprised to discover that what I was wiping was clear so I smelled the tp to confirm something was there. You know what it smelled like? Picture unwrapping a McDonald's cheeseburger and smelling it before eating it... synonymous. I was strangely relieved by the familiarity. When I hung out with people that don't wear deodorant, in the past, I noticed that a smell similar to a hamburger patty occurred occasionally. I assume this is a similar bacteria or oil.

Anonymous Coward's picture

the most embarrasing thing about it is the smell,, like carmalized onions, anyone notice this??

Anonymous Coward's picture

i have been looking for a site like this for the past yr,, i thought i was alone with the proublem , tho it sounds very dramatic i have been very depressed over it, havent shared it with anyone but my nurse,, tho it may be a coincidence it seems to have started when i finished taking chantix to stop smoking, i havent smoked in close to a yr, finished taking chantix 9 mo. ago yet still have the proublem, i do drink too much coffee, but cant say that fiber would be the answer because for 2 mo. i ate nothing but tons of fiber and it didnt correct the proublem at all, i am extremely ( too much perhaps) clean, i take 2 showers a soaking bath every day, yet thruout the day as im walking i will feel "slippery" i go sit on the toilet and sure enough its as if i hadnt even wiped myself, sometimes it take severl wipes before im clean,, funny thing is i dont feel like i pooped,,, it just feels slippery,, also i use feminine hygene spray and lots of powder to control the odor, its just beyond disgusting to me! any ideas??

The possible answer!'s picture

i had this problem for ages but i never knew why. it burns, it stinks and its so uncomfortable. anyway, for those of you wanting to improve the problem, DONT EAT CHILLIES! i tried giving them up a week ago and so far my symptoms have almost gone completely.

im a vegetarian by the way and i dont eat dairy so i think its a high chance that spicy food is responsible. chillies probably aggrivate the intestines and my guess is the body is producing mucous to protect them. good luck everyone

READ THIS!!!'s picture

I've had leaky gut syndrome for a couple of months now and like most of you it has put a compleat stop on my life. I have serched everywhere and have come to the conclusion that there are many things that can cause it, but the main cause of leaky gut syndrome is the thinning of the small intestines and it becoming permeable. This means that the intestin absorbs toxins and then get carried in to the bloodstream. Your body reacts by producing mucus and thats what that yellow foul smelling substance some of you including myself have. I found a remady that has helped me to start restoring the balance to my bowels. The remady I fond was made by a man named EDGAR CASEY,(look him up) it was originally made to help treat leky gut in Psoriasis. But I have found it really helpfull in my case. Before i did the treatment i cleansed my bowels with some herbal cleanser to have a fresh start. Ok here it is the main treatment for leaky gut it was very -(small doses)- of olive oil (1/4 to 1/2 table spoon) every three to four houres for about a 5 days. After the five days you would stop taking the olive oil for another five days then start again and so on. The (small dose) of olive oil are supposed to slip in to your small intestine unnotice by your stomach an help it begin to heal. The other treatment was (american yellow saffron) tea. Make sure its american yellow saffron.... Yellow Saffron Tea should be consumed more than any other tea and taken later in the day or evening. A 1/4 teaspoon of Saffron Tea, add a cup of boiling water and allow to steep about 15 minutes before drinking. this helps sooth the inflamation that promotes mucus. Finally the last treatment is Slippery Elm Water.Slippery elm is a demulcent, high in mucilage, noted for its ability to soothe or protect irritated mucous membranes. For healing leaky gut syndrome, slippery elm bark powder is to be taken in the morning, 1/2 hour before breakfast. Proportions are: to about 1/4 teaspoon (or less) of slippery elm, add a cup of warm water. Allow to stand about 15 minutes, then drink. Do not let it stand beyond 30 minutes before drinking.Also keep in mind that a good diet full of fiber is a good place to start the healing process. I hope that this will help some of you with your leaky gut problems. As for my self i have seen some improvements with just to oil and saffron tea but don't know about the slippery elm since it is taking for ever to get here since i order it. Any way it's worth the try, you have nothing to lose.... And if it dosint help remmember that there can be more than one reasons for the symptoms you are having, and are not necessaraly permeability in the lining of the intestins, so keep looking. To every body keep at it stay positive and don't lose hope. Much love.

Anonymous Coward's picture

I've recently been experiencing this problem as well. I find that I wipe my ass but begin to feel unclean shortly afterwards. When I go back to the bathroom and wipe again there is shit on the toilet paper. Not pieces of shit but wet muddy shit. It seems like some soft shit squeezes out of my ass when I sit down.
It hasn't really bothered me until I realized that my ass is itching all of the time and there's constantly skid marks in my underwear.
Recently my fiwe was wiping my cock off before going down on my and passed the wipe between my cheeks and it came up brown!!!! That was very embarrassing.

I'm trying fiber today.

Anonymous Coward's picture

Well, same here as to all the comments,do the business and clean up again twenty minutes later, however, I also have a rash. Tried all and nothing fixes it. What some of you may want to try if it hasn't been mentioned is 'Gastro-Stop' it's for diarrhoea relief. One capsule per day or every two days helps to keep it under control. With a prescription you can buy the capsules in bulk and cheap from net pharmacy's.

Doing the business is not as much fun as it used to be, but the self consciousness of expecting that moist feeling or worrying that somebody may smell a leak is gone.

On a final note: question actually. Does anyone know if there is a web address where the varying symptoms have been compiled with known possible improvement treatments.

but lump boy's picture

bumpybutthole, it sounds like you have a hemmerhoid. You can get "Tucks" pads at the pharmacy, or if it is painful and won't go away like mine was, you can get a sepository and inject the medication directly. This is crappy (sorry about the pun) but it clears up the rhoids pretty quick. No worries brotha

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Oddly, most of the women I meet shout the very same thing, TSV.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

That's a plus one for Bilgy for making me shout, "OH GOD EW!!!" Who's with me?

_______
Born right the first time.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

Anonymous Coward's picture

Amazing. I too have had the syndrome for years and have had no medical advice given other than to use cotton balls to help keep things dry. I have noticed, of late, that the problem subsides during cool weather when I'm sedentary and gets more pronounced when the weather is hotter and I'm active. It is amazing that the medical community appears to be largely ignorant of this problem and, other than this site, little advice is available on the internet.
Causes, in surfing around, range to bad hygene to HIV......

Perhaps someone with more experience with having cured it could post a compendium of suggested cures and results to enlighten us all.

Maybe a convention in Vegas could be arranged with invited experts on the subject as speakers!

Anonymous Coward's picture

I had this problem. Solve it by eating wild rice(just the black, not the white), or quinoa with EVERY meal.

Lucas Pukas's picture

oh my god..my butt leaks something awful about 23 hours out of every single day. It has gotten to the point where I cannot function properly and I have started wearing Depends (adult diapers) all the time. It has really helped! Now I dont leak everywhere and my butt is not as smelly as it used to be. I also use febreeze on my butt daily. Hope this helps you butt leakers out!

Blind Mullet's picture
k 500+ points

BP, electro-shock therapy!
My Dad was a motor mechanic from the '40s thru to the '70s, and he once told me a story about a bloke he worked with who seemed to be able to handle large amounts of electricity. This guy's party trick was to take a plug-lead off a running engine, hold the lead in one hand and make the spark jump to earth (chassis) through various parts of his body. Yes, he even pulled his whanger out and got a spark to jump from the knob to the bumper bar.
Now, I know that modern ignition systems generate enough volts/amps to kill, but I wonder if some sort of old-fashioned rig could be used to apply electro-shock therapy to these leaky poop-chutes?

The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

iwantasolidturd's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

YESSS!!! The Metamucil worked for me !!

History: I had my gall bladder taken out 2 1/2 years ago, and my butt has leaked ever since . It had gotten worse int he last 6 months, and I asked my dr about it, and she said "increase your fiber" , so i started eating a huge bowl of oatmeal every night in hopes of a "Normal " dump the next day. No such luck.
So, I bought the capsules of Metamucil, the 100 % psyllium kind, and I take 5 a day, with lots of water . (eww , I hate plain water)
It took about 3 days to work . (and the water makes me have to pee about every 15 minutes)
I still haven't achieved Solid Turd Nirvana, but at least I can wipe only a blessed 3 times per poo and then be DONE with it!
I did a (stupid) test, and quit the Metamucil for 3 days, and leaky butt returned. So, I am convinced that it was what gave me some relief.
But MAN OH MAN that stuff makes me gassy! I still haven't been brave enough to release a fart whilst not on the pot, I'm afraid I'll shart, but I am thrilled to be down to 3 quick painless swipes per poo.....and my husband is thrilled to not be buying 200 rolls of toilet paper a week!

ThunderingTurd's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

They should make a buttcrack panty liner....

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

former electrician, used to love getting my daily dose of electro-shock therapy, great stress reliever.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

MMMM, linemans pliers? Phone company guy perhaps?

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

SP, I"m a do-it-yourself kind of guy, I use my lineman's pliers to express my glands, and they are equally handy at ripping out hemorrhoids, smashing the hell out of little white worm things, bashing those unflushable logs into submission, etc. Don't know what I'd do without them. Uh...the pliers, I mean.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

I found your octopus peeping out of my ass.
It sounds like impacted anal glands
All of you need to go to the vet and get your anal glands expressed.

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

leaky cauldron's picture

this totally sucks! im going bananas over this! can anyone tell me what to eat or what not to? ive been having this for some time now, at first i thought i was just perspiring down there. then i saw a stain in my boxers one morning. but it was no poop, it was an oily fluid. i dont friggin know what it is. my nurse cousin told me its just steatorrhea. might want to look into this.

bobby rae's picture

the original reason i looked at this website was because my sweaty butt i also have residual poop after wiping however never knew that the to problems were connected. the residual poop i think may be caused by pinching a terd off too early and as time passes the remaining part of the terd is slowly pushed out by gravity, pressure from sitting down too long, or gas build. ive learned that the proper pooping technique is to relax and let the poop come out at its own pace rather than trying to force it out with a series of muscle contractions. i am still unsure how to stop butt sweating though, ive tried better breathing cloths and deodorant neither of which have worked for me.

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Has anybody seen my octopus? It was here a minute ago and now I can't find it anywhere!

_______
Born right the first time.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

Anonymous Coward's picture

For the past 3 or 4 years, I've had the problem where my butt leaks a clear, cabbagy smelling liquid. This only happens when it's hot and I'm walking/moving around. When the problem first started, I thought it was just sweat and it smelled funny because it was coming out of my ass. But it's certainly a deeper problem than that. I just don't understand why it only happens when I'm hot.

During the cold winter I don't have the problem at all. I always try to convince myself that the problem is gone forever. But then right when spring comes around the problem always comes back (and guess what time of the year it is...)

Last summer I tried following all the advice from this board. I ate incredibly healthy, cut back on beer and coffee, ran 5km's a day, and took medamucil every morning. During the summer I lost over 30 pounds (and I wasn't really overweight to begin with).

Believe it or not, all of those steps I took changed NOTHING. I had AL just as bad as ever. It only went away when the winter came around and it was cold outside.

I'm seriously considering moving to Alaska where I'll never have to deal with this bullshit ever again.

What boggles me is that so many people clearly suffer from this problem, yet NOBODY seems to be able to get clear cut answers from physicians.

Brown Betty's picture

After reading through several pages here, I still don't seem to have a clear answer to my question of if I have AL. I discovered an anal itch more than a year ago that I at first attributed to an anal yeast infection. I have been told in the past I have a candida issue, but the doctor I went to was a bit of a quack, so I'm not sure it's true. Since the itch has not spread elsewhere (i.e., my vagina), it can't be that.

Compared to most of you on here, I have a tiny amount of leakage. At first I thought it was a bit of sweat making me itch, but now I know it's not just that since this problem would have been in my life long ago. I spend about half my day itchy. Sometimes I can ignore it, other times I can't. Going to the bathroom and wiping myself makes it better for a while, mostly because I have cleaned any leakage from my anus and relieved the itch. But the itch is there whether I am dry or wet, though more so when I am wet. A shower and washing with soap doesn't seem to agrivate the problem.

I'm 30 years old and female. I don't drink coffee, but I have been drinking tea for years without any problems. I am a vegetarian that doesn't eat any dairy or eggs, so meat and dairy can't be a cause. I could get more fiber in my diet, but if fiber is the issue AL would have been a problem for most of my life. I try to keep chocolate and sugar to a minimum. I drink about 2 liters of water a day. Since I eat a plant-based diet, I do eat fruits and vegetable quite a bit. In fact, my problem began more than seven years after I became vegetarian!

I have had what I would think is more than the normal amount of mucus in my stools in the past, though I don't think this is an issue now. For the most part I don't believe I have IBS, though I have wondered about it. And the leakage does not smell foul; it's not a lovely odour, but I can only smell it if I have scratched myself.

If I wipe myself, the residue on the tissue is the same colour as my feces -- a light brown. I've never had a problem with stains on my clothes and I don't end up with anything on my underwear. I have noticed since the anal itching has started that I also have a problem with hyperhydrosis of the feet and armpits, a problem I never had two or three years ago. Perhaps these two problems are connected?

I thought at one point that I might have internal parasites, but I can't imagine how that might have happened. I don't have an STD, I have never had anal sex and I don't think I have hemorrhoids. I don't currently take antibiotics, though I did quite frequently throughout childhood. I could have anal fissures since in the past passing hard feces has made me bleed a tiny bit from what I am sure were tears in my anus. I don't need to strain when I go to the bathroom and am very regular, emptying my bowls up to 3 times a day on some days, with normal feces. I don't have abdominal cramps or pain. I have noticed a very few times that episodes of gas have been accompanied by a very slight bubbly feeling around my anus, as if I were blowing bubbles!

It sounds like I could have AL. What do you all think?

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Not had the problem, thus can't make the connection, Smoothie, but I like where this is headed. Maybe we can apply the same logic to all the "bleeding ass" and "bloody poop" threads as well, get people calmed down enough to just apply the leeches as directed, and we'll all be much happier.

Seriously, I DO agree with your premise though. Worrying about an ailment always seems to make it worse for me.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

brown smoothie's picture

Does anyone else think that self-consciousness, obsession and stress over this problem are factors that aggravate it and make it a chronic issue? I think so.... I did steroid cream for internal and external hemorrhoids, nitroglycerin for anal fissures, and have consumed vast quantities of psyllium seed husk to try to keep my digestive system happy. But not matter what, my biggest problem was overcoming stressing about "whether I'm going to have AL today or not". If I stressed, I had it; if I never thought about it, I didn't. Anyone else experience this connection?

Geoff's picture

Like so many others, I was pleased to find this site and discover I was not alone. I was beside myself with this problem and believe me when I say my problem was as bad as it gets. I couldn't figure it out and I was terribly worried, cancer and all that...
Well, I read through the site and decided to try to correct this by diet which only made sense to me. So, based on the information in this site, and others, I eliminated certain things from my diet and added things.
I am a 57-year old male, 50 lbs. overweight and realized that I couldn't keep eating the way I had when I was younger. The same as I can't do the same activities or lift as much and so on. Our bodies change and they tell us when we must adjust to the changes.
I had AL about 3-years ago which lasted about 3-months but cleared up on its own. I never gave it much thought after that but here it was again about a year ago. It had steadily gotten worse over the past 10-months to the point where I actually stunk all the time no matter how often I went to the rest room and cleaned myself. It was embarrassing and extremely uncomfortable. I started to carry a change of pants in my car.
Here is what I decided was a possible solution for me and it worked like magic and I am completely back to normal now. Everything is working as it should.
I completely eliminated coffee, soft drinks, (anything with caffeine) chocolate, anything with a lot of sugar, bread, red meat, dairy products (with the exception of a little butter and yogurt). I thought I would really miss spare ribs and a Sunday roast and steak. But I don't because I really feel much better now.
I added to my diet lots of fiber, All Bran ( I don't use milk on the All Bran, I use orange juice and once you try it this way you will never use milk again, it's great!) Not a lot of bran, just a hand-full, water, apple juice, poultry, fish, steamed vegetables such as green beans, broccoli, asparagus, cauliflower, corn and, well you get the idea. Steamed with a but of butter, salt and pepper - terrific.
During the day I munch on, and have come to look forward to celery, carrots, cucumber and sensible stuff like that. Things with vinegar and lemon seem to be good for this. (all the stuff we know we should be eating any way)
It took 3-weeks for the problem to go away completely and I have had no problems at all now for more than 2-months since. And here is the best part, I feel like a new person,I have lost a few pounds without really trying, more energy, good color and no worries. I am clean, I look forward to my healthy meals and I don't miss the old way of eating, which I thought I would.
This worked for me and by sharing it I sincerely hope it is of some benefit to others. If you try this and it works, post it for others please.
Good luck!

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

It almost sounds bacteria or yeast-related. Have you ever been tested for anything like Candida? Maybe if you asked your doctor to do a blood screening, you'd find something.

In the meantime, you've got nothing to lose by upping the fiber. Metamucil twice a day? Keep up the great diet, and get back to us. We always want to hear what works for others.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Anonymous Coward's picture

I have had this problem for the last 3 years. I am a 22 yo male 5'6'' 135. I work out 4-5 times a week, both cardio and lifting. In my opinion I eat pretty well. Absolutely no caffeine, no soda, no sweets. I don’t eat highly processed foods or junk (like chips, mcdonalds, pizza). I try to eat salads for meals 2-3 times a week and eat a balanced meal every other time i eat. I get a good amount of natural fiber in my diet. I don't smoke, and drink moderately on weekends. My AL is "mucus like" and only seems to occur in the evening, and very smelly. It also gets extremely itchy. I really don't think its a diet problem as some have suggested. I've been eating well without caffeine and working out for 2 years now. I found that if i shower early in the day and wash well I minimize the problem. It doesn't really bother me unless i have a really late night and I'm awake late I can feel it coming on. If i workout on the weekends in the morning and shower late in the day I find its bad unless i shower. No doctor has really had an answer for me, so i just try to manage it. Showering well, and early in the day seems to do the trick for about 12-15 hours. Anything after that...well you know...

Anonymous Coward's picture

My problem sounds very similar although on a much greater scale. It's never a surprise when I find my butt is contaminated with discharge, infact I almost always know the moment it happens. One day I was having what I affectionately call a discharge moment on the bus. It was a little embarrassing because on this occasion it was accompanied by sound effects. Anyway there I was having my moment, noise and all but the amount of liquid being discharged was far more than on any previous occasion. If I was to say that the volume was the equivalent of all my previous moments added together then I would still be under stating. Because of my previous experiences I have taken to wearing rubber pants which contain the liquid however they were not strong enough, they billowed out like a balloon until they reach there maximum tolerance. I sat there looking rather sheepish with my expanded liquid filled rubber pants trying my best to act as though nothing was wrong. It was a calamitous moment when the double welded steel reinforced seal ripped apart, spilling the contents equal in volume to an Olympic swimming pool (well nearly) out into the world. My understanding is that 10 people in the immediate vicinity were drowned in my anal mucus and another body found a few days later identified as having ingested a large quantity of my mucus discharge. Which leads me to the conclusion that 1 in 11 people may actually like to graze on anal mucus, so there may well be a consumer demand waiting to be met. Consequently the 10 unfortunate victims who drowned, lead me to believe the swimming properties of my rectal discharge are lacking in the requirements for a sustainable repeat business product.

Sally Soggy Fart Bucket's picture

My problem sounds very similar although on a much greater scale. It's never a surprise when I find my butt is contaminated with discharge, infact I almost always know the moment it happens. One day I was having what I affectionately call a discharge moment on the bus. It was a little embarrassing because on this occasion it was accompanied by sound effects. Anyway there I was having my moment, noise and all but the amount of liquid being discharged was far more than on any previous occasion. If I was to say that the volume was the equivalent of all my previous moments added together then I would still be under stating. Because of my previous experiences I have taken to wearing rubber pants which contain the liquid however they were not strong enough, they billowed out like a balloon until they reach there maximum tolerance. I sat there looking rather sheepish with my expanded liquid filled rubber pants trying my best to act as though nothing was wrong. It was a calamitous moment when the double welded steel reinforced seal ripped apart, spilling the contents equal in volume to an Olympic swimming pool (well nearly) out into the world. My understanding is that 10 people in the immediate vicinity were drowned in my anal mucus and another body found a few days later identified as having ingested a large quantity of my mucus discharge. Which leads me to the conclusion that 1 in 11 people may actually like to graze on anal mucus, so there may well be a consumer demand waiting to be met. Consequently the 10 unfortunate victims who drowned, lead me to believe the swimming properties of my rectal discharge are lacking in the requirements for a sustainable repeat business product.

baron von crapalot's picture
k 500+ points


Ahmen to Bilge. Further to that, did you know that death is natures way of telling you to slow down?

_______
like a constipated accountant- I worked it out with a pencil.

I hope to god I've just sat in a Shepard's pie.

THIS SUCKS's picture

view this site it might give you guys some more insight and by the way this whole anal leakage thing suckssssssssss having a sweaty ass all day at work blows TP out the door gahhhhhh

http://www.webmd.com/digestive-disorders/tc/rectal-prolapse-topic-overview

Law Student's picture

Hey dude,

First off, we all feel your pain. I have been dealing with this for over a year. I have been trying to be proactive about it lately. I started eating healthier, taking metamucil, and getting more exercise. I can say that these steps have helped, but I still have the problem. When I shit, I'll have to generally go back and do a touch up about twenty minutes later. I do suffer from serious anxiety and I have Irritable Bowel Syndrome. I think mine problem is linked mostly to that, however I am going to go see a GI specialist in a couple weeks to see what he thinks. Anyway, just try different things. There will be a cure out there for you. Keep the faith.

Anonymous Coward's picture

Im a 21 year old male who up to about 3 weeks ago never had a problem with this and it's driving me crazy. I'm reaching suicidal status. Anyways I feel it worst whem I am working because I'm always standing and constantly walking. The only thing that has really changed over the past 2 months is that I went on a diet, Nothing specific just started eating healthier stuff like Lean Cusines, Crystal Light light Jello etc instead of the normal stuff like fast food and chips and pizza. The thing that's killing me is that I have no idea what it is, I haven't drank soda since last year and I don't like coffee so it can't be that. I've gone back to my old eating habbits and even started taking benefiber(Is it the same asmetamucil or should I change to that) for about a week and I notice no changes. I went to the doctor and I'm getting stool and blood tests to see if it can be an infection but she gave me a check and said everything is normal inside. I have no abdominal pains, itchiness or any of the other things I just always feel some liquid in that area wich isn't much until I have to walk and it always feels like it's 700 degreez down there even after I get out the shower and clean myself til theirs not one drop. In fact I'm not sure if it's even diet related or if it has anything to do with my anxiety/depression. And I've read most of this post and their isn't a definitive answer and I don't want to live with this for a year or more like some have, I don't want this for a second more as a matter of fact. And the uncertainess has me sad all day. I went to the family practice doctor is their any suggestions as to what specific kind of doctor I should see. Or do any of you know if it's mental, physical or diet related?

Anonymous Coward's picture

Wow, I didn't realize that so many others have this problem! It's been happening to me for years and I've really made an effort to study the effects of certain foods on this condition. I've noticed two things that seem to cause it that and if avoided make it either go away or reduces it significantly.

The first is beer. The more highly hopped a beer is the worse the effect. If I stick to low hop beer, such as cheep yellows or simply avoid beer altogether sticking to hard liquor, it will go away for days... until I get brave and have a few beers. (I love beer.)

The other thing is spicey and fatty foods. Chili is the worst. Pepperoni pizza is worse than plain cheese or veggy. Hot dogs or hot links are killer.

I usually eat quite well avoiding high cholesterol foods but seldom go a day without a drink. On the weekends I sometimes let loose a little both with food and drink and this is when the prob hits hard.

If anyone else notices similar effects, please let us know.

Law Student's picture

So, I have a mild problem with AL. I get it almost every time lately, but I have been trying to figure out what, if anything, actually triggers it. I have assumed that lactose would be one of the problems, so for about a month I have completely stayed away from that. Then, over the weekend I ate a shitload of pizza and to my great surprise I shit and had a "phantom poop," the kind where you wipe and there is nothing there. I went back several times throughout the day to check it, and I was amazed to see that there was no lingering poo. Crazy. Today I had it again. The comforting thing is I know now it has something to do with my diet.

ASS AWKWARD's picture

I really think it has to do with fat asses. I don't have this problem, but yesterday was the first time I fucked a girl who is robust. I mean really robust. With her up doggie style, the whole room smelled like ass. I will never fuck a fat bitch agsain.

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Toe, thats easy....die.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

Toe Grantz's picture

For some reason i'm an idiot and hold in shits everyday. I hold in shits 3-5 times a day. I fart like a fat chick. I feel like a loser. Cause my asshole stinks. I mean sometimes me and the boys go out and most of the time i get a girl but boys are the same so ha ha i am gay. I think i had anal sex about 5-7 times a day and i mean its great but i leek. And sometimes when boys are fucking me hard i have to hold shits in. When i take shits my turds are as big as cinder blocks. Oh and i'm a whipped massacre. My question is How do you stop shitting for life???

Mo's picture

I noticed that this leaky arse issue happens to me when i take a lot of lactose with cereals with the exception of oats. I stay all dry until d days i take krispies or cornflakes in the morning. When i take oats, i stay dry all day.

Does anyone observe this?

English Guy's picture

I've been suffering with this now for about 8 years!! Had every test under the sun and was told that it was down to a weak sphincter muscle and to do pelvic floor exercises to try and tighten it up.

I've been trying to remember to do these now since it was advised, but there's no noticable improvement. The last fortnight has been hell, so I'm considering another trip to my GP (last time I mentioned this to her was a year ago). The only thing that it coincides with is a portion of good old British fish 'n chips where the batter on the fish was pretty greasy. Whether this would spark a fortnight of doom and gloom is debatable but I still haven't found the magic answer unfortunately!!

AL Junkie's picture

OPEC would pay dearly for my underwear. I know who to blame this on... ME... Bad diet.. Low exercise.. Lotsa caffiene..

Two main culprits. Tim Horton's coffee and Pepsi. Can't seem to live without them. It all started when Tim Horton's became more popular on the West Coast (Of Canada)

baron von crapalot's picture
k 500+ points


I always thought that coffee (to which I have an allergy) was more akin to constipation. - Butt just to, again, go off on a tangent, as I have been sat here typing, the movie 'The Borrowers' has been on in the background. There are quite a few subtle, yet funny, references to the affect cheese has on the bowel. ( in this case, the bowel of a bloodhound) I've sat here chuckling to myself for the last hour!_______
like a constipated accountant- I worked it out with a pencil.

I hope to god I've just sat in a Shepard's pie.

Rubberband Dude's picture

"I do love my morning coffee, so I'm not giving that up! "

trust me dude... after a few more months you'll probably be wishing you never drank coffee... don't let it escalate... test if its coffee and if it is... GET RID OF IT! the longer you wait, the harder its gonna be to cure.

itchybum's picture

Thanks for the help on this "poopy" issue. I've been having this trouble for about 6 months. I thought it was hemmies or a prostate problem, but I wasn't sure. I do love my morning coffee, so I'm not giving that up! I will exercise more and eat more fiber.(Although I thought I was getting enough). Nice to know we're not alone.....

 Rubberband dude's picture

obviously because i said that yesterday... today wasnt that great of a day :(

but hey... its been alot worst

i'm now really considering going back to my GP to see what he thinks about getting a face lift (on the ass... its apparently the same operation)

Rubberband dude's picture

oh and i almost forgot...

*some hemoroid softner pill (dunno if they help but im taking them anyway)
*and some confidence in seeing people and making your head stop worrying about smelling like shit. (still considering getting a psychologist to get involved but i'll see)

RubberBand Dude's picture

hey guys... i'm still alive. i went on holidays and now... i officially had my first week "shit free" in a very long time. (not 100% shit free... but definetly to a manageable state.)

basically... i found out that now... my butt gets kinda swallen on the outside... so i push it back in and after a while... its like if a tension is gone.

i dont know if they are hemoroid or that i have that other problem where your rectum wont stay inside. but basicaly
*no hemoroid
*no alcohol
*no spicy food
*exercise every day

seems to have brought me to an "ok" level.

i'm not 100% cure and who knows... i might drop back down. but though i'd let u know that if i could make it for a full week... then i can make it for a full month. and if i can do it... anyone can do it. (its just a fuckin shame that there isnt a magic pill... they seem to have pills for everything else...)

anyway... keep it up guys

Anonymous Coward's picture

stop all caffeine use it will stop in 5 days.

assfucker's picture

My ass leaks golden nuggets.

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

AC ess, Dont start us on limericks.

Anonymous Cowardess's picture

Wow. Icky poo! Keep healthy, that seems to be the thing to do. A limerick for you:
There once was a person from Kent
In his pants, alas, he had went.
He wiped and he moaned
And the doctors he phoned
Said, "A diet change shall make a dent."

Erik den Houter's picture

For poocommander -- 01.30.2008:
Thanks, you mostly verify my very thoughts from 06.21.2007 and 06.25.2007
Although i am not sure if i am mentally strong enough to follow it, fasting is a road to seriously think about. It is a tool to get the necessary insight.
Keep it up !

Michigan Butt Leaker's picture

Thanks to all for being so open with this issue. I can't wait to buy some fiber. I have had this problem for years. Poop, wipe clean, then wipe 30 minutes later. No doctor has helped me with this issue.

Law Student's picture

Has anyone here considered Irritable Bowel Syndrome as the cause? I haven't read all the posts (there are so many) but I think that could be a strong cause. I have looked on the internet and found some support for it. I have IBS and have AL as well. I have helped it with diet (many of the suggestions people have listed here were very helpful), but I still have it just not as bad. I have the sort where I will shit and then have to go back maybe 20 minutes later for a "touch up." Something to think about.

For those of you stressing out about it out there, just know that this is pretty common and not something to worry about. It is annoy and embarrassing, but most likely it's nothing that's gonna hurt you. Eat better, get some exercise, the symptoms will help and you'll be able to deal with it.

Good luck!

DDD's picture

Ok...lets see....its been a few days since my last post. I believe in my last post, i explained how i was so fed up...that i did a self exam of sorts, lol....thats right...i got out the 5x magnify mirrior and took a looksy. What i found was a spot near my anus that when i pushed on it, it caused the a small amount of leakage to ooze out of my ahole. Kinda wierd because where i was pressing was a differant spot than where it would end up comming out. Anyway....i would spend maybe a total of five minutes of this self draining technique. After the first time i finished draining it.....my butt felf so much better. Also i had dry ass for hours which time wise was a huge imporvement. I would eventually drain this stuff the first couple of days maybe twice a day....seemed the more i did it, the less came out.....after the first day, i slept the entire night with dry ass, i was psyched. I actually went to the doctor today and explained my self discovery method of draining this area....he was very receptive. However when he tried my method on me today nothing came out....which i guess is a good thing. I then tried for him....and he said nothing came out. He stuck some sort of medical thing up my butt and he said he saw some small wetness...and that was about it...he said that he did not see a fistula. Bottom line....is he ended up giving me to antibiotics.....which i will get filled and start taking this weekend. I really think i had some sort of abcess or infection. I will see how these antibiotics work and post back with results. I actually tried my self draining methode tonight, and very little came out....hopefully this AL is finally starting to go away. I do feel much better mentally, seeing my condition improve. And to all those suffering....by all means if you have not done so already go to your doctor. Its worth a shot.

Anonymous Coward's picture

DDD, i'd like to know what your results are. I feel I might have this problem. Seems like within the last week and I am worried that coworkers might smell the problem.. this is like the worst thing that could happen as I am really concious of my health and well being. I am very clean person and would hate to be considered othewise. I will bite the bullet and go to my doctor if DDD says it helped him/her...

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Lovely, I just had some polyps removed, am currently wearing diapers, sort of, and I don't want to look forward to this....my ass is far too cute to be leaky.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

DDD's picture

ok.....debated on wether or not to post this but in the name of trying to get to the bottom of this AL bullshit i decided ok i will. Quick backround on my story....im 41, health male...everthing in moderation, workout 3/4 times a wk...dont drink much...diet is ok. Never had AL until i underwent a colonoscopy/hemeroidectomy three months ago. About a month ago is when i noticed this AL happening to me. I refer to it as "wet ass". Just felt like it was always sweaty, kept blot dryinging it every few hours throughout the day. At night i would lay in bed and constantly taking tissues to my ass....i mean come on now, AL even laying down, wtf. I swear in three or so weeks, must have gone through half dozen box of kleenex. Ok. This was driving me crazy...i came across this site about a week ago...as i was searching "anal discharge". Was relieved i was not the only one with this problem. So as im reading the post...seems most beleive on here it could be related to diet, lack of fiber, drinking, weed, etc....however i still wasnt sold. I read the post by ryan....and he has a link to a menshealth magazine that talks about different anal disorders. included but not limited to....anal fissures, abcesses...anal fistula, and there was one more cant recall it at the moment. These all seemed more plausible to me for some reason. Well curiosity got the better of me, i said wtf...i grabbed a 5X lighted mirror i have and assumed a postion that allowed me to do a self evaluation if you will, lol. I wont give all the details, but upon inspection....i actually saw the AL for myself first hand. I know kinda freaky but true story. I noticed an area near my anus that when i applied a little pressure on it, higher up i would see the juice dripping down out of my hole. I aint to proud of this story, lol...but hey at least i know im not crazy. I really believe my al has nothing to do with diet or anything like that. I believe it may be a anal fissure or an anal abcess....and that this al is from it trying to drain itself out naturally. If ya havent searched fissures or anal abscess, i would recommend reading up on them. from what i have read, in most cases pretty easisly treatable with medication. most cased its treatable in days to weeks. i have an appt with my doc this thursday and am going to fill him in on my self eval and what i noticed. Sometimes ya gotta take the bull by the horns, right? I have been on the mettimucil for about five days....i thought i was seeing some improvement....but now that i think this is an abcess i think the real imporvement is going to be draining it and antibiotics. btw...since i have been draining it.....seen a huge imporvement. will report back within a few days after seeing my doc....and seeing if this heals up. good luck to all.

turdfan's picture
l 100+ points

That's an interesting comment DDD. I've been taking Metamucil for years now, but it seems the longer I take it, the less effective it is. I take the recommended maximum dosage of 3 teaspoons per day, so I may go ahead and up that amount some. However, I do know that you also have to up the proportion of water the same amount, or you'll really get plugged up.

Skid vicious's picture

I first noticed AL after a very boozy skiing trip when I followed through after letting rip (luckily, the ski garb I was wearing disguised the problem until I got back to the chalet!). From then on, I noticed that I had to catch myself whilst passing wind and that I was getting a very sweaty bum (as many have posted here this is especially noticeable at night).
At 35 and as a single bloke I find this problem mortifying: I don't want a girl feeling my behind and reeling away because of any dampness and that smell so I'm finding it a struggle to pull at the moment as well.
BMs are regular as clock work, after breakfast and lunch however if I'm on the beer (which admittedly is a lot) then these visits are far more frequent. The pungent smelling liquid (sometimes brown, yellowish or clear) that I have to wipe away is there in the morning (not to the extent that it stains my clothing but enough to make its presence felt) and seems to bubble away throughout the day, requiring several visits to the lav to 'regroup'.
I went to the GP who's advised not drinking as much throughout the week (tough, as I'm quite a social person) and that I see a colorectal specialist. Fibre is recommended, he says, because of its oncological benefits rather than for helping to form firm stools (that's a buy product). I've started making a meal diary and will begin eliminating certain food stuffs.
After a few beers yesterday, my guts felt like a washing machine on a spin cycle and were gurgling so much I had to leave the pub earlier than I would have liked for fear of a dreaded follow through. Needless to say, the AL this morning was severe so I know that beer's got to be kept to a minimum.
Once I've seen the CR specialist I'll post any pearls of wisdom and if the food elimination experiment yields any good results I'll be sure to share.

DDD's picture

Hi again.....just checking back on this site since i found it about a week ago. I have a previous post dated 1/31/08 if anyone cares to read what my story is. Anyway since that post i just wanted to add a few more things. First off, if any one here has not seen ryans post dated i beleive 1/25/08, i highly reccomend checking out his post. At the end of his post he has a link to menshealthmagazine which is very very informative (thanks ryan).
secondly, and this has more to do with the fiber cure. My doctor recommended fiber as well....so i went and bought benefiber, and mixed(two teaspoons) it with my protien shakes....was doing that for two weeks, and really did not see any improvement. two days ago i switched over to mettamucil brand. the directions say use one teaspon, up to three times daily....after the first day, i called my doctor and told him i was using a teaspoon, he said oh thats probably not enough, he said go ahead and mix at least a full tablespoon with the glass of water. I guess my point is....if your following directions from the label of the mettamucil, and are not seeing an improvement, you may want to increase your dosage to a full tablespoon or two every day. I know i have only been on the mettimucial for two days, but i do believe that i am seeing somewhat of an imporvement. the one imporvement i have noticed is that when i take a bm its a fairly clean wipe...i am not using nearly as much tp to wipe after a bm now....and when i go back an hour later, and rewipe its clean. I still do however have the wetness going on, but i think that has begun to decrease as well, and hope after being on it for a few more days the wetness will all together dissapear. So in recap....read the link that ryan supplied...very informative, and if you havent tried the mettamucil go try it....and if your trying it, and not seeing results, try increasing the dose. Of course consult with your doctor just to make sure. I will come back and report after a few more days of being on this mettamucil if in fact it takes care of the leakage alltogether. good luck all

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

Maybe keep the legs crossed also. Good luck.

turdfan's picture
l 100+ points

My anus started leaking some several years ago,for what reason I don't know. I had anal surgery about 25 years ago, but I don't think that would just now cause the problem. Anyway, at about the same time, I started to have a lot of itching, so I thought I had hemorroids. I went to the doctor, and he said I had some small ones, but they were definitely not what was causing the itching. He said it looked like I was having some leakage, and said the most practical solution was to fold up some TP and keep it stuck in my crack next to my anus. I tried this for a few days, but this works much better in theory than in actual practice.

Since then, I've figured out that I have to sit and wipe again about an hour after a BM.

That solves the problem, so apparently, it does not leak any more after the first hour.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Bunga Din's picture
j 1000+ points

I bet that copy of Adobe Acrobat he's using isn't licensed.

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

God has a wireless Intertron connection, I am so jealous.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

GodisThere's picture

Hi everybody,
I'm writing for the people who are having leaky anus and who started to think ab't a suicide attempt.

With complete happiness i'm writing this letter comparing to the situation of suicide attempt thinking couple of weeks before . My subject is leaky anus.

My anus was leaky since i was 17 years old .Now i'm 25 and truely saying, though my education went well, i'm always sad and angry due to this leaky problem. On going through severe desperate condition i accidentily found this site. I was quite surprised to see this site.Till that moment i was thinking i'm the only unlucky person who has leaky anus which emits such a bad irritating smell every second of the day. Day by day my hope was exponentially decreasing.
At last with severe, sometime pathetic praying i was determined to find out the problem myself.
With that determination i searched all through the net. Then i tried to understand about the internals of anus. Through some medical documents i got to understand that to block the leak we have to tighten up the sphincter muscle( Which we try to control when we feels the gas leakage ).So i searched for some excercise to strengthen the muscle.That was the turning point in my life.
I got a pdf document ( now i believe god directly send that file to me ), which specifies the excercise to strengthen the muscles, which i was exactly expecting.On doing that excercice 2 or 3 days smell started to decrease in a very noticeable manner. At that time i was able to see a star of hope that extends my healthy social life.

After doing that excercise for 2 week i'm now feeling as i'm iin heaven. You can understand how much pathetic was my condition to say these words.

wishing you all the best

Anonymous Coward's picture

I have also had a problem with AL. for two years never had any problems before then. I have been driving myself crazy tring too figure out what is causing it. On christmas I tried metamucil as other people suggested here and has seem to help alot. First I tried taking a spoonfull of metamucil everyday but my BW. I thought might to hard so I cutdown to every other day it was softer but i had a little bit of leakage not near as bad as before. I got a little worried that taking metamucil everyday might cause dependence or screw up my bowels so I called ask a nurse the nurse said it was ok to take that it was pretty much just fiber. I stopped taking for a few days all together and back to as bad as it was before so just go back to taking it once aday if you buy the off brand a 6 mo supply or more is just $5 the nurse did tell me that i should go to doctor AL. is not normal so that got me a little worried.

I thought about why I am getting AL. now and b then I think I got the answer. When i was a child I am now 30 I only went like once a week so it was very hard as I got older I went twice a week. Starting about 2 years ago it's more everyother day or everyday so it's much softer so that would explain the leakage.

Anonymous Coward's picture

Hello all....first off im a relative heathly male, 41yrs old. I recently (three months ago)killed two birds with one stone so to speak when my doctor performed a colonoscopy and at the same time a hemmroidectomy. I know some are problem askin why a colonosopy at 41 thats a little young, but my father had a history, so they just wanted to be safe....they did remove one small polyp turned out to be non cancerous. Well as you can imagine after this operation i was pretty much useless for about two months...i couldnt sit for long periods of time in a car, workingout was simply out of the question as was anything else that included the smallest of physicall exertion. The two months of recovery was actually worse for me mentally/emotionally(due from not being able to do anything except lay around and wathc tv) than the physical pain from the hemmroidectomy. The pain killers they give you these days do an excellent job of limitting the pain to a very tolerable level...although your first bm will pretty much take your breath away for about a half hour, hurts pretty bad (i quickly learned to have my percs readily available after the first couple of bm after my surgery). Anyway point of the story is that i have noticed going on three months of recovery now that i to am experience a wet/sweaty mucus 24/7. I never had this problem before the operation. So i have a strong feeling that this is definetly related to the effects of the operation. I started noticing about three weeks ago after a bm i would wipe very clean, using both tp and wet wipes only to go check a half hour later and it would be like i didnt wipe at all....very fustrating. Then there were the times even when i didnt have a bm i would still have this wetness down there. I went to my doctor for a follow up in connection with the earlier coln/hmmroid surgery, and i brought this to his attention. He also suggested more fiber. Well i have been on benefiber faithfully for two weeks now, and still no improvement. I will however tommorrow try metemucil brand and give that brand a shot....I am now also starting to think that this very well could be a fissula but will have to have that determined by my doctor if this wetness problem does not subside anytime soon. i have put in a call to my doc today to try to find out more info on this condition. Will post more if and when i come across what works for me. Until then everyone good luck with the blot drying every couple of hours, lol.....hey ya gotta keep a sense of humor.

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

Poocomander, I always like to read comments from people who have gotten relief. Thanks for sharing. I hope someone else can use this technique for success, too.

Good luck back at you with your butt.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

poocommander's picture

COMPLETE AND PERMENANT CURE!!!!! i too suffered this terrifyingly painful fate, i suffered an anal fissure from sexual assault and like others i did believe it was ne that smelt so terrible, it was someone else, and at times when it reoccured (due to mistakes i made that i have outlined below), however there is hope for all!!! back in the day christians, muslims, hindus, jews and others, all fasted, yes thats right FAST! now compared to standard fasting you need to take it a little further, and reduce your food intake to an absolute minimum, you may wish to take suppliments for a month or so before hand so that your body tissues have adequate reserves of nutrients. then begins the fast, eat only fresh fruit or veg, i use a blender, about 250-350ml of food matter is more than enough per day NO MEAT! NO SMELLY FOODS! NO DAIRY! NO GRAINS ESPECIALLY WHEAT!! NO SUGAR!. expect to feel a little hungry and loose a little weight at the start, but after a while your body should normalise by decreasing your metabolic rate, your stomach will shrink, and your anus will tighten. eat at the same time each day, regularity enables a good 24 hours between each 'gut cycle', i found lunch to be the easiest and most energetically feasible time to eat, yes a little hungry in the morning, and a little hungry at night, but nothing too bad, and i didnt feel hungry all day. do this for a few weeks until your symptoms have stopped and then, do it for a few more weeks, this gives your bowels plenty of time to repair themselves! thus when you do start eating more, or varied food, of course start slowly otherwise you'll end up back in the horrible mess you were in before, and gradually work your way to say 2/3, yes two thirds, of the food you used to eat, you'll feel lighter, healthier, have less body fat, and you wont smell! it works a treat, its like getting your life back, no surgery no med, just your body's natural way of self repair. oh yes and if when you start eating normal food again, you begin to notice symptoms reoccuring, ie the next day, take a note of the foods you were eating, fast for a few days, and then try the foods you ate that day one by one, as you may have an allergy, grains are particularly bad they aren't that fiborous, mostly carbs, but they make you feel full, who needs to fill a large stomach, when you have a small one, no beer belly, and only put nutrients in it? not me for sure. Good luck!

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

Are you sure it wasn't a bolonyoscopy?

Anonymous Coward's picture

I never had this problem until I had a colonoscopy. :( I've had it ever since then. And its disgusting. I've always been a clean person. Now I go to the bathroom really often, not because I have to go, but because I have to wipe. :(

mojo23's picture

I used to suffer from itchy and leaky butt since I was 17. In my awaking time I was able to avoid scratching my butt my in my sleep I scratched the hell out of it. At the age of 40, it wasnt getting any better or worst, but I was too old to be embarrassed so I consulted my doctor.

He thought it was a mixture of not keeping it clean and eczema (I get hey fever and sometimes eczema in spring and summer). He told me to clean my butt with baby wipes and gave me some eczema related cream to apply after cleaning. I did this and amazingly enough after about 2 weeks it was like I never had any anal problems. But I had to continue cleaning with the baby wipes and apply the cream every now and then.

My itch has started again, this time with bleeding and burning. It coincides with when I started taking lipitor to control my cholesterol. This time the itching is more around and inside the anal ring where as before it was the inside walls of the cheeks.

Starting tonight I have decided to stop the lipitor tablets for a month to see what effects it has. I intend to get back and report the results.

Thanks.

/m

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

Bilge, he really needs a slick shit spit licker. It'll be quicker.

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Dododawa, in answer to your query, the first thing that pops into mind is a shit spit licker, of course.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

Dododawa's picture

Every now and then my butt leaks. I sometimes just leave toilet tissues in between there. One day my wife saw it (the tissues) and said what is that for? I was so embarrassed. Of course I brushed her off.

What would be a good cure for this crap with "shit" spit???

Dododawa

JohnP's picture

surely if some poop is retained in the sphincter (outlet control valve), then it will cause an irritation which will raise the temperature and create sweat. It will also generate mucus and gradually slide out unless you exert more muscle control which all starts a visious circle.

poo012's picture

i have mud butt once in a while, when its really hot or if i run around. i used to have it bad when i was younger. i would get nervous in school when i was sitting with the cute girls and it would feel like i had liquid in my crack. it would smell so i was always leaving class to clean it. as i got older i played sports and one time i actually kinda shit myself during football while running to catch the pass (the lubricating feces seemed to make me run faster) lol so since then ive been using the “stuffed tp” method. it hurts when i play sports because the paper rubs my skin raw sometimes. other then that it worked well for a while untill one night i slept over my girlfriends house, i went to bed and it must have fallen out because when i woke up all of the sheets were in her washer. i havnt had mud butt for a couple months but when i fart and it sounds wet i get real scared. i changed my diet alot and healthy food does seem to help for the most part, i used to eat burgers n fries atleast twice a week but now i dont and im feeling and smelling much better, im really thankful for this site i thought i was the only one, i also thought i invented the tp suffing method

The Tapered Terd....'s picture

------

I, also, suffer from the dreaded leaky butt. I have read and tried just about everything on this PoopReport. No solution so far...

However, I do have a very old joke that might just shed some light on our common problem:

-----------

A young boy asked his dad: 'Why are my turds tapered at the end?'

Dad responded: 'So that your asshole doesn't slam shut!'

----------- ;-]

Well, maybe, that is our problem! Our assholes are not 'slamming shut'. Now if I can figure out how to eliminate the taper on my turds......

leakybum's picture

this sites been a great help ,ive had similar probs to some of you guys and decided to look for info (too embarrasing to go to docs) and this was the 1st page i found ,, great , several possible answers but i reckon i drink loads of caffeine (coffe and redbull) so gonna try to completely cut it out and see if it makes a difference ,im all into health living lately as a i stopped smoking 3 weeks ago , soon be a new me

Rubber Band Dude's picture

alright i just came back from the doctor and... there's nothing left for him to do. i'm back on my own...

errr...

itchy butt's picture

my anus itches. a lot. and i dont know why. i dont really have anal leakage. so i dont think thats it. and sometimes i see blood. any ideas as to what this is???

Chad Martin's picture

Me....you... poop contest now!!!!!

Anonymous Coward's picture

Found this informative.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anal_leakage

Rubber Band Dude's picture

errr what an awful day... i hate those company meeting where they crumble every single employees in the same room.

i finally had the strength to ring back the hospital to rush my appointment. the guy said there was no spot until march :( but that he would try to do something

i've been considering starting a food diary and i think i might just start it now. althou i can definetly feel some hemoroids still coming out every time i have my bowel movement which i awful for those days where you have to go twice. thats usualy where it gets the worst. and today was a double :(

the good side is that i have had worst althou now that i go to the fym during the day after going to the toilet and then shower (kind of covers the whole purpose of having a shower in the middle of the day, every day) it is not as bad...

i'm so fuckin sick of this... and i need to get brainwashed in not thinking about it too...

Random dude's picture

I've had this problem for several years, though not as bad, I think, as many of you. Usually notice that when I poop and then wipe, it's usually a liquidy yellowish color mixed with the poop. Of course, the doc says it's IBS, and did recommend a specialist, but wasn't encouraged that he would find anything.

One thing I've recently noticed is that my poop is much more dense and less leaky if I eat raw vegetables. I'm actually making it a point to eat a salad every day with raw broccoli, cabbage (lots), sprouts, maybe some cheese for those who can handle it, and some cut up turkey. Dressing of choice.

Haven't been doing it long, but noticed a few weeks ago when I had this meal that a day later things seemed much more "normal." Occurred to me that I was eating few, if any, raw veggies, and that if it didn't help, at least it's healthy. I'll report back in a week or two to let you know how it's going.

Potential way to control AL's picture

I'm 32 and have been suffering with this problem for a couple years now. I have seen the gastro doc. for this and they did a endoscopy and he found some small hemorrhoids but that was about it, and he more or less seemed clueless. Although the hemorrhoids problem is something that I might revisit because someone on this board previously said they had some comfort reliving AL using rubber band method.

The way I am thinking is that it begins first by eating something that can not be digested. Then AL becomes triggered by physical exertion, or sometimes stress. One more thing that makes it worse for me is multiple bowel movements in a day (>1). in my opinion we are dealing with an uncharacterized underyling disease/condition i.e. some kind of pancreatic, liver, or colon, or nervous disorder that is not in the literature and that is why some of our docs seem a little clueless about this.

I have been able to control this by diet. I have been concentrating on trying to find particular foods that give me problems. First off anyone that has this should first increase their fiber intake naturally or using supplements. in addition take a daily multivitamin. Next create an extensive food diary and also keep track of when you have AL problems. I use to have AL everyday and I finally was able to control by cutting out lactose. I developed lactose intolerance late in my late 20's and I have found this to be a major trigger for AL. Interestingly, I found AL to come about 48-72 hours after eating lactose. so keep this delay in mind while trying to find some of your trigger foods. for me it is dairy for you it could be something else. I should note that I still get AL in the complete absence of lactose and I have be able to narrow it down to some foods and I am trying to figure out the ingredients to determine what is giving me problems. So I have been able to cut out everyday AL by restricting my lactose but I still suffer from occasional AL. I also realize that cutting out lactose in my diet could create an umbrella effect that really cuts out the true problem in my diet.

I think the best way to make use of the food/AL diary is first start eating very simple and cut out a variety of foods this would help to narrow down what is a trigger. Then I think try to eat foods that do Not give you problems and just eat those foods for a while, those are you "safe" foods get to know them. Then start to re-introduce some other foods into your normal diet and see if the new foods will give you problems. If you can narrow down certain foods to AL keep track of the ingredients as there could be something specific that is causing problems. I hope this helps and let's all hope for a AL-free life.

I think the above treatment Cholestyramine also look promising, as it seems to be helping at least one person on this board. I have found it in the scientific literature reporting that it does help with fecal incontinence.

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

Sweetie, if it doesn't happen unless you're working out, it's just sweat.

Try wearing one of those velcro-wrap stomach supports one day with a bandana tucked into the back of it. It if comes out soaked, and your butt isn't so wet, you have your answer.

Go out for football.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Holy Shit i need help's picture

Im 16 goddamn years old and everytime i go to do any excercise my ass sweats like a fat kid at fat camp wen he sees a cake. Im not overweight or anything but i think i will be if this shit keeps happening. Every girl i go out wit im afraid to have sex wit or they will find out wut i got. Im a physical guy and people be wonderin y im not goin out for football dis year and y im not doin SHIT than stayin at my house. First i thought it was sweat cuz its a clear liquady substance. It never seaps through my boxers into my jeans unless im doing hard work or excersising.and then i have a big ol fuckin line on my ass. I stopped drinkin cokes and smokin weed and grits for more than 2 monthS and not 1 thing has changed.this shit is gunna ruin my fuckin life if anyone finds out. Can sum1 PLZ help me. I.would really appreciate it. And im relieved dat im not da only one suffering dis horrible shit. Peace out!!!

Cowardly Michael's picture

is there a way to fix it?

Rubber band dude's picture

hair definetly does affect smell. thats how my problem started. shave it before it becomes worst...

michael, i sometime feel a bit that way too. or sometime its like if some farts are stuck within my butt and instead of coming out normally... they slowly come out without me noticing. i've suspected that anyway but never could be sure. it does feel like if there's something stuck there sometime and its not always shit... sometime its just air. and it does tend to smell even if my colon is well emptied.

Cowardly Michael's picture

I think my problem is a little more severe than everyone elses. I fart without knowing, and the people around me seem to notice very well. At the same time, there is poop that drips out of my but. I take a shower, clean my butt, then i wipe my butt and there is brown all over the toilet paper. Plus, I dont go to the bathroom everyday. I have tried to take everything i could think of. I need help!

Anonymous Coward's picture

I think the problem may lay in butt hair. I have quite a bit of butt hair and I think that when you shit some poo gets stuck on the hair and dries. Then when you sweat it becomes liquidy again and runs on whereever and smells. Have you noticed that poo smells much more when wet? Well it does.
Try shaving your anal hair. I tried it and it seems to be much better.

Sadly smelly also:('s picture

I just found this site. None of you are alone. I have had this problem for quite a while and chose to ignore it like an idiot. I can roll through a roll-O-TP in a day if it is bad enough. It gets a bit old after a while, and to sit and wonder if every one is pointing and staring at you...
I had an instance a couple weeks ago that I woke up in the middle of the night to a severely wet ass. It did not smell like crap, but had a really weird rank smell and had a very yellowish and sandy consistancy to it. You could see where it ran out of me and got onto my sheets, forever covering them with shit. It actually stained my skin, it was fun to get off of me. I than layed up the remainder of the evening wondering if it was going to reoccur, it didn't. Fortunately, I was alone that night. I did tell my GF so she would never get nastified about it. She claims she has never smelt it on me, hope she is right. Getting old sucks.
I am going to see a GP about it, but unfortunately, I feel it will be a "wait and see" situation. I hope I am wrong. I will also try some of the remedies given on here to see what happens. I am glad to hear that I am not alone. :)
Gotta go wipe...

Rubber Band Dude's picture

wow MyOwnRoad, your post remind me so much of the one i first posted a while back (under the anonmous coward name)

same age, the problem started about the same time, and we were both heavily on some kind of amphetamine at the time (opiat based drugs will constipate you btw)

i also spent alot of time on amphetamine and seem to have gotten this from holding myself for too long (leads to constipation) and then forcing too much.

althou i had many doctors telling me that i did not have a fissure (i fuckin hope they're right)

nyway from year 2007, i quit drugs

and now from year 2008... i quit alcohol

been working out at the gym 5 days a week for the past 6 months

got on the soya milk for a while...

im about to turn vegetarian... (i'm the type of person who love animals... especially with some sauce on em)

right now im trying to do the low carb diet (candida... yheast infection)

but yeah... after 2 rubber band operation... i kinda feel that there's more to be dug out of there

Anonymous Coward's picture

The smell can sometimes be controlled with ordinary white vinegar, especially for women who can also get a vaginal smell that isn't too nice. I keep a bottle in my bathroom. Use a hot washcloth to steam off the crap, then rinse and wring it out and wipe/dab vinegar on your ass. You will be surprised at how much the smell is contained.
For the guy whose chair smells bad- Lysol it! If you are fortunate enough to have a walk in freezer where you work, roll it in overnight. Bacteria (that causes the smell) cannot survive the freezing. No walk in freezer? Do you live in a climate that stays below freezing all day? Take chairy outside and use a folding chair for a couple of days.

MyOwnRoad's picture

Hello, i am a 22 year old male, and have been having this problem for about 3 years. I used to be a tweaker, started smokin dope(meth) when I was 18. I ran around with this girl for about a year just gettin high, crashin in random places, jackin shit. I am 5'9" and used to weigh about 170 and was really into weightlifting, I dropped down to about 110 when on dope. I ate very rarely and had a pattern of staying up for 3-5 days then crashing for a day. Needless to say I really put my body thru hell. One day I went to go to the bathroom and strained too hard while going. I heard a popping sound and there was blood in the toilet, I was high so i didn't feel anything but I imagine it would have felt painful under normal circumstances. Well i continued right on using but my ass felt weird now, like it was "loose" and I couldn't get rid of it. I tried just shoving TP in my crack for awhile and finally came to the conclusion that I really was that high and this was a figment of my imagination. Stay up too long and you start to see "meth monsters", shadows n your mind play tricks on you. So I said this is bullshit I'm gettin off this drug or I'm gonna go crazy (a blessing in disguise I guess), I ran home to my mom n got clean. After many weeks of curling up in a ball in my room feeling like i was gonna die( and only 1 relapse).
I realized my problem is still there I get the whole sweaty ass thing, 20 min after going I have to wipe again. I get this sensation that i can't hold my gas in very well sometimes and sometimes I get a stinging after i go that subsides after 10 min or so. REALLY ANNOYING

So I ran to the doctor and had em test my blood for every STD and explained my problem. Well after blood and other tests come back negative, he refers me to a Gastroenterologist. I refused the colonoscopy at first (ya right your gonna stick a camera up my ass!!!) and just took some general antibiotics they thought might help. AntiB's did nothing so I went back for the colonoscopy and they found some hemmroids and the doctor told me to get some preparation H. I thought great problem solved, the preparation H helped the hemmroids and the stinging feeling, but not the AL.

At this point Im feeling very discouraged, and start to get really depressed, feeling sorry for myself and all that other shit. I didn't do anything about it for awhile, just "managed" it. I tried eating different things, I started working out again, I stopped drinking milk and started drinking soy milk. While changing my diet and working out made me feel a lot better my problem still persisted. Finally i went to see another doctor who recommended the kegel exercises. Well that didn't help and at this point im beginning to wonder if all doctors are quacks and what the hell they are doing in school. Then i went to see a naturalpath who tried to get me to meditate, like i was gonna think my problem away, lol. Believe me if i could think/wish my problem away it would have been solved the moment it began.

So I figured I'm a smart person, I took PreCal in HS, I'm gonna solve this like a math problem and the first variable that doesn't need to be there are the hemmroids. I had a doctor refer me to a surgeon to get them removed, he explained banding to me and that surgery was a last resort. So I went in for banding and he said I don't see any hemmroids right now. But based upon the pain I was feeling when he was "in there" w/ this crazy looking tool and then after some probing with his finger he said I have an Anal Fissure. A tear in the rectum that never had a chance to fully heal because everytime I went to the bathroom, the skin would expand and tear it open and shit would get in it again, a vicious circle. He said imagine a washer w/ a tiny cut on the inside of it. So he said there are 2 solutions to this problem, some special type of suppository or surgery called Anal Dilation. So I opted for the dilation which really isn't much of a surgery at all (this was 2 weeks ago) basically they put me under and applied some sort of numbing stuff on my rectum so that it fully expanded. So that when I went to the bathroom my sphincter wouldn't spasm and the fissure wouldn't tear back open, so it could heal naturally. It is sort of disturbing to think about I know, but at this point I'm open to anything. Tired of cutting myself off from society because of some problem.
Well my followup appointment is today, I have to say that the surgery seems to have helped A LOT but there are still some of the familiar problems just not so bad. The doc explained sometimes this doesn't work on the first try and some people have to go in for a 2nd dilation. Bad timing on my part considering I got a $1000 deductible each year for my Health insurance, but whatever id pay a million to feel like I was normal. So I'm on my way to my appt. now, I thought id hop online n do a little research before i went. I'll keep you updated on this and see if I cant find my personal "ultimate cure"

To all the people out there with this reoccuring problem, don't give up. I know at times it seems hopeless, that you are "doomed" and you are searching around for a pause button on life. But all the liquor, oxycontin, weed or whatever you vice is aren't gonna make your problem disappear or help you forget about it for more than a few hours. You just have to man up , grab this thing by the balls n find an answer. Good Luck

What&#039;s that funky smell..'s picture

I began destroying my underwear a couple of years ago. I googled this website today and began reading all the comments. As many, my chair stinks at work, pants smell like hell, stains on underwear, the "infiniwipe syndrome" (having to wipe pretty much all day long. The smell of shit can only be masked by TAG body spray for so long.

One thing I noticed in trying to put 2 and 2 together is that I started to drink starbucks on a regular basis about two years ago and drank the occasional Monster drink. High intakes of sugar and caffeine. I also drink beer (weekends, watching football games, etc) and about 30 lbs over weight and just turned 39. I like spicy foods as well and eat very little vegetables and fruits. This almost sounds like on-line dating for shitters. After reading, it seems all of these habits are potentially the cause of my skidmarkitis.

My wife came to me the other day and actually asked me what the "deal" was with my underwear AND where most of my underwear went. (I throw much of them away). Hence, my excursion to this website.

It's January 2nd, 2008. I have not had any spicy food today, no starbuck, no beer. I'm going to tackle this the diet route. More fruit and veggies, water, cut down on red meat, more fish, etc. Sounds hokey, but I'll see how January goes. I'll check back with my reults. NO BEER! Holy shit..no joke.

Anonymous Coward's picture

Thank God, I found this site. I had anal itching, and first thought it was yeast infection. The itch was stronger after long walks, and bowel movements. On the phone, I asked my close relative, who is a doctor, and he told me it could be hemorrhoid. I tried over the counter topical creams, and while they seem to help, they did not solve the problem. So I went to the doctor. He said it was not hemorrhoids, neither internal nor external. Then he checked stool samples and did not find any worms or parasites. His final guess was yeast infection, so he prescribed Nystatin ointment. I used it about 10-12 days, it did not help. Then tonight, as I was searching the net, I realized that it would not itch when it was clean, and I always had a stain in my underwear. From that I made the connection to anal leak, and found this site. I drink coffee every day, and I am confident that my diet is the problem. I will start avoiding coffee, and eat better. Thanks to all who shared their experiences. Thanks to the Internet as well.

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