masturbating-with-poop fetish

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j 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb
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Dave (no, not that Dave) asks:

My friend has a strange fetish. He likes smearing himself in poop when he is masturbating. Is this very strange or dangerous? He doesn't eat it, only smears it over himself. He is my best friend and thought he should tell me about this weird fetish, as he calls it.





Dear Dave (no, not that Dave),

Hello, and thanks for the visual!

Let's see...Strange? Definitely. Dangerous? Probably not, as long as it is his own poop and not someone else's.

The thing that is by far weirder is the fact that he confided this in you. I had a similar question before (See Finger-lickin' Good) and there were a good variety of opinions of the subject.

Be careful when shaking hands is all I can say. And for the record, your friend might just want to discuss this fetish with a qualified professional in the mental health field, as this behavior may hinder him in the dating world. Although, maybe there are some folks who would go along with it -- the world IS a strange place, after all.

Please be advised that I am only a Poonurse. I am NOT a medical doctor. Any advice I give should be taken moderate skepticism. Please consult a REAL medical doctor if you feel you have a serious medical condition.

-- Poonurse

Poonurse is an RN with 25 years experience in labor and delivery. Her qualifications include seeing a lot of poop, and owning a computer. Also, she works in Michigan, which she calls the asshole of the universe, so that's another bit of credibility.

Got a question for her?












148 Comments on "masturbating-with-poop fetish"

Anonymous's picture

There are a lot of shit lovers out there who enjoy being covered in shit, eating shit, drinking piss, even throwing up and drinking that too (2 girls one cup). Glad I was not born or acquired such desires. Anal sex, ass play, and fingering is just fine by me, and all with a clean ass to start!

Anonymous's picture

I have read about people even women who like to play with poop and smear their own poop all over themselves and get horny and masturbate! Personally I hate the smell and it's sickening and gross. I dont know why people like this because poop stinks something fierce!

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Adri, While the definitions of what should be called fetishisms is often in flux I have very serious doubts that such behavior will ever be considered anywhere near normal. Smearing oneself with feces while masturbating is not a healthy practice and can have dire results for the person who practices such an abnormality or anyone who unknowingly comes in contact with such a person.

I maintain my position that such a person is a sick puppy.


_______
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Adri's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

ChiefThunderbutt, while I completely understand that fetishism can cause problems on multiple levels, it doesn't necessarily have to. There is a huge stigma about mental illness and psychological disorders in the United States -- that somehow people with any sort of "disorder" aren't able to function in society. People whose behaviours we find "strange" or "unusual", we are quick to self-diagnose as mentally unstable.

If the person feels it's a problem, and they want to get help, confiding in a friend is often a first step (and perhaps even the only step). The submitter of this question obviously cares for his friend.

Conversely, for plenty of fetishists, it's no problem at all. And I really think it's not any of our business to make critical decisions for other people. We're not the ones with the fetish.

_______
Shameless Shitter, proudly stinking up bathrooms one turd at a time.

Shameless Shitter, proudly stinking up bathrooms one turd at a time.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
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Adri, I am inclined to take a different view of fetishes than yours, Wikipedia says the following, "...Sexual fetishism may be regarded, e.g. in psychiatric medicine, as a disorder of sexual preference..."

Rather than indulging in scat play I think it would be wiser to try to discover the reason the "disorder" occurred in the first place. Shit is best used for fertilizer or just flushed down the commode and is not meant to be played with.


_______
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Adri's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Fetishes are fetishes. They're supposed to be weird -- that's why they're kinks. Gettin' dirty with your dung certainly isn't the most sanitary way to get your kicks, but it's a semi-common fetish and I can think of way "worse" ones. I think it's perfectly okay as long as you go about it the right way; just like you should wash your hands after dropping a load, be meticulous about clean-up and if you expect any partners to play along, it's more than common courtesy to let them know way ahead of time. Fetishes don't make you "fucked up", just a little quirky and that's A-OK.

_______
Shameless Shitter, proudly stinking up bathrooms one turd at a time.

Shameless Shitter, proudly stinking up bathrooms one turd at a time.

El Scumbag's picture
k 500+ points

AM, you haven't actually said what your fetish is, only that you have one connected to this subject, so it's difficult to know how to respond to a post like that. However, you sound like you don't like yourself very much. That's what's bad for you, old chap, not a bit of poo on your willy. If having a relationship and being loved for yourself is important to you, then I'd recommend starting with learning to accept your imperfections and idiosyncrasies, followed by recognising your qualities, whatever they may be, and expanding upon them. Learn to like yourself and people will like you in return. You won’t become the life and soul of the party overnight, but it can’t have escaped your attention that ladies do rather like a fellow who’s comfortable in his own skin. Even geeks get girls, you know. What's important is to play to your strengths, whatever they may be, and spend your free time doing things that you enjoy because there’s nothing more attractive than seeing someone who’s good at something doing it. A succession of eager minge will inevitably follow, and if you're persuasive enough, one of them might even want to explore your little peccadillo and wouldn't that be jolly?

Good luck and chin up.

Anonymous Monster's picture

I have a fetish somewhat related to this due to a childhood experience, and let me tell you, if I wasn't so afraid to die and concerned about how it would affect my family, I'd have killed myself a long time ago. Through no one's fault but my own, I have become a freak who doesn't deserve to live.

As fucked up as I am in the head however, I would never literally consume poop because it's unsanitary, and I would never reveal something like that to a friend. I just don't get what the big deal is with breasts, and if by some miracle I ever find a woman who will love me in spite of this depravity, I see nothing wrong with doing what we wish as long as it's kept behind closed doors. I don't deny it's abnormal, but I would never do anything illegal or inappropriate just because I have a fetish.

Butt of the Joke's picture
l 100+ points

Merriam Webster's definition of Chief Thunderbutt:"A really smart fucker with a pocket dictionary."
_______
More people flush than they do wash their hands.

More people flush than they do wash their hands.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Michael_A ... I must disagree with you by citing another definition;

ab·nor·mal (b-nôrml)
adj.
Not typical, usual, or regular; not normal; deviant.
[Alteration (influenced by ab-) of obsolete anormal, from Medieval Latin anormlis, blend of
abnormal [æbˈnɔːməl]
adj
1. not normal; deviating from the usual or typical; extraordinary
2. Informal odd in behaviour or appearance; strange
[ab-1 + normal, replacing earlier anormal from Medieval Latin anormalus, a blend of Late Latin anōmalus anomalous + Latin abnormis departing from a rule]

Since the majority of people do not masturbate with poop I am afraid that it is abnormal behavior.


_______
Dirty old men need love too!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Michael_A's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Merriam Webster obviously had a bias when writing that definition. Chief: a paraphilia is just an attraction to something or something that someone likes to use to spice up their sex life (if they have one) we just don't know why. It's no different than if anyone of us went to a sex shop and bought sex toys.

Also to answer your question about pedophiles and people that are sexually attracted to animals, the reason they are "bad" doesn't really have anything to do with their attraction per say it is the fact that they have sexual relations with children and/or animals without their consent because they cannot consent to sex and that is wrong or "bad".

Fetishes I do not believe is a disorder I believe it is just how someone is wired and I'm sure it has something to do with an even that happened in their life. As long as they are not hurting anyone and the person they are with if they are with someone consents, there is nothing wrong with it.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
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TheSanguineOne, You say that coprophilia is a form of paraphilia that is reasonably common and that there is nothing wrong with it. Let me refresh your memory on the meaning of the word paraphilia. According to the Merriam Webster dictionary paraphilia is;

"Any of a group of psychosexual disorders characterized by sexual fantasies, feelings, or activities involving a nonhuman object, a nonconsenting partner such as a child, or pain or humiliation of oneself or one's partner. Also called sexual deviation."

Note the words "psychosexual disorders." Do you also consider paedophiles and goat fuckers to be normal people? I hate to be disagreeable but people who masturbate with poop are sick puppies!


_______
Dirty old men need love too!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

TheSanguineOne's picture

That form of paraphilia is known as "coprophilia," the sexual arousal of having fecal matter smeared over the body.

Believe it or not, 1 out of 900 people has this or a related fetish.

There is nothing wrong with having it, and your friend does not require counseling or rehabilitation for his desires. They are simply attractions such as feet and boobs.

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

I agree with you on one thing AC. Eating it would be sick.

I have to go now. I can't remember what I ate for lunch, but I think I'll be reminded shortly.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

AC, How sad that someone as young as you (you write like a seven year old) has obviously destroyed the portion of his/her brain that controls spelling. Soon the fumes will have destroyed enough of your brain that you will be happily munching away on dog grogans like the rest of us do on a Kit Kat bar.


_______
Dirty old men need love too!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Anonymous Coward's picture

abosliuty love the smell of poop my neigjbor got me in to it he invited me over one night and when his dog took a poop he took it and inhald it at first I looked at him sickly then he said u like the smell of feet I feel the same way about poop. I said alright can I try. He let me and it was great then 5 seconds later he smeared it all over the wall. Is father came out of his room and said is that my poop I said no then I said but I like how it smells. Then we played hide and poo on the loser. The loser gets pooped on and has to smear it all over them. I lost everytime on purpose and I just loved getting smeared with my best friends poop his brother and their father I love poop I go over their house every friday to tame my fetish I would never eat it but I like the smell of it.

My Favorite smells are

1 POOP
2 FEET
3 PEE
4 Body odor

Anonymous Coward's picture

R u shit freaks mad

Preston-er's picture

I love panty poop, really love it, it's a great form of kink and also pee. u all need to stop being harsh on this guy, nowts rong with him, he has a fetish... i wouldnt change it for the world, love extreme fun!! to those who settle for basic stuff no probs but dont be harsh just cuz our sexual funs more hardcore than urs....

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

I will grant that each of us is accustomed (by lifetime acquaintance) to his/her own poop, and getting a little on oneself, say when a finger slips through to toilet paper while wiping, is a minor mishap, easily handled by lots of soap and water, diligently applied.

However, diseases can be spread by contact with other people's poop, and if one engages in the activities described in this thread, I think interpersonal poop transfer (IPT for short) is inevitable. If you really slather poop on yourself, inevitably some will be left even after washing, and more so if you are careless. Please don't shake my hand.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
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Sigh!! ... Where is my hazmat suit, I'm on my way peterpooper, I'll be the guy in the green clothing that knocks on your door.

Don't bother with any tea and crumpets.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

Chief, I'm not so sure about your destroyed brain cell theory. I think it's more a matter of a sticky, gooey keyboard in this case. Maybe some more research is needed. I'll let you do it. I have a sore wrist.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

masterbate? ... ejackulate? ... who to say otherwise?"

Pete ... Your fetish is obviously destroying braincells that are necessary for spelling and context.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Peterpooper's picture

I often poop on cam for people to see that like it, i masterbate and try to ejackulate and poop at the same time.... most people who like this sexy idea thinks it is normal and who to say otherwise.... Keep On Pooping..lol
Pete. UK

Anonymous Coward's picture

yeah right, your "FRIEND" likes to smear poo, sure its not you??

ChiliKahKah's picture
j 1000+ points

Sounds like a scene from a Steven King movie.

mud bunny's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Can you say "hepatitis"?

Erosmonkey's picture

Get the hell over it! Masturbating with your own poo is called "Chilidogging" and it's just another fetish. A harmless one at that (although I'd suggest using a good hand sanitizer afterwards and not just on your hands). There is nothing at all wrong with it. A lot of people are into it (look around the 'net)and it is a solo thing. It does not interfere with regular "normal" sexual relations. As for the need to "talk to a psychiatrist" about this: Why? Paraphelias are a part of sexual identity and there is nothing that can be done about them. In the case of things like pedophilia this is a very bad and unacceptable thing and there is a need to deal with it as the problem that it is. In this case, what is the problem? There isn't one! And I think your friend must trust you a great deal to confide in you something that private and personal. You owe him your support and love.

bloodru5t's picture

Coprophilia and coprophagia are actually more common than one would think. Some think it stems from early ancestry...Eskimo mothers cleaned their young with their tongues

Anonymous Coward's picture

that shit is stupid and sick and on the same level as being a necrophiliac...SICKOZ WHO HAVE UGLY GROSS THOUGHTS AND DO THESE PRACTICES LIKE EATING THEIR OWN POO NEED TO GET THEMSELVES COMMITTED.

spattacus's picture
l 100+ points

Well, marriage IS all about sharing, after all.

Anonymous dude's picture

I like to poop in my panties while I masturbate. I think it's the idea of pooping in your panties being taboo that makes this exciting. I have done this since I was a teenager and now I am Married and can share this with my wife

ChiliKahKah's picture
j 1000+ points

Go talk to Dr. Ruth or Dr. Phil ! In the alternative, contact the Jerry Springer Show.

Ewwwww!!!!'s picture

EWWWWW!!!!!!!

IgnoranceIsABliss's picture

Most of you are very ignorant. He does not need help at all, It's just the way he is. It's called Coprophilia and it is more common then you think. Just like people who are ABDL(me) or Urophiliac(also me), Exhibitionists, BDSM, mistress, dominatrix, All of this is a fetish. They are all weird to outsiders but it's 100% normal to have some kind of fetish (or at least something you like sexually more than anything else [if you didn't then NOTHING would turn you on]) You can't tell me that you have never asked your girlfriend or wife to do something at least a bit kinky (hancdcuffed, roleplaying, furry, rape/murder(fake of course)

Sexual fetishes are strange in nature, and most are not dangerous. A common characteristic of paraphiliaism(coprohilia, urophilia,pedophilia,etc.) Is actually written as a psychological disorder sort of like schizophrenia. The person enters a different mindset during these sexual acts, often, afterwards they feel defiled, unwanted, and have low self esteem.

Do you know why that is? be cause there are ignorant people all over the internet telling these people they are gross. Most of the time these people are just like you and me, and most try to keep their fetish under safe control so they don't run out and do something illegal or something they regret.

The thing is lets use pedophilia as an example, these people aren't bad people... You have to really understand that. They just can't help themselves, pedophilia is far more common than you think as well. The difference is these people resort to anime and hentai as their "anti-drug", so they aren't out hurting or exploiting children (which is a great thing) it really shows these people don't want to hurt anyone... it's just that they have such a hard time dealing with their issues.

As a urophiliac AB/DL myself I have had a hardtime dealing with this. I didn't know why but as early as I can remember around 7 maybe, I've wanted to be in diapers so taht I could wet them and just enjoy that feeling as I do now. But after it's all done and over with and I take my diaper off or whatever I always have that feeling of disgust deep inside "My god, why am I doing this"

Just have an open mind, these people may be closer to you then you think.

ChiliKahKah's picture
j 1000+ points

As long as he does it with another consenting adult and they do it at the clean out facility for livestock trucks it is ok with me.

Anonymousblondie22's picture

thats fucking sick in the head just the thought of it makes me want to throw up all over myself errr WTF has the world come to.....

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

AC on 09.03.2009.....That theory went out years ago when diseases and mental illness were discovered. A good physiciatrist can help much more than a minister.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Anonymous Coward's picture

Wow...It is September 17th and I am GROSSED OUT!!! I just found a complete seperate article on another website about this guy, Mike Long. There is a whole growing...dare I say MOVEMENT.

Anonymous Coward's picture

there is good and evil...this is not good. get prayed over by a real minister.evil spirits inhabit humans

ChiliKahKah's picture
j 1000+ points

I suggest trying an alternative.....SHEEP

realripsnorter's picture
m 1+ points - Newb


Most obscure indeed! - One Guy, no Cup required.

_______
It's O.K., We just have to smell it; He's got to sit in it!

It's O.K., We just have to smell it; He's got to sit in it!

Anonymous Coward's picture

hahahahahahaha. I love google. because i found this.

Kris man's picture

Leave the man alone he's baten. So be it.

buttfknbandicoot's picture

my friend stevey from etto is poo mad but i still think he is a good bloke
go 4 it stevey masterbate in your own fieces its natural in the bush !

ANTIMATTER SPLATTER The splatter flushin wont even shift's picture

eerrrmm i think i may have taken a wrong turn i thought this was a fish and chip shop . and i was under the sheltered impression that only germans were into poo play or more accurataly Shite smearing or poopophiliacs . nappies or diapers make me urge so i'm pretty lucky i wont catch this phenomenomenom n om. i think the fact that its a fetish and not a trend speaks volumes but saying that some men love woman stamping their balls and such also a fetish and possibly as balanced as the current thread content. thank t sir may i have another.

Jesse's picture

I do the same thing as your friend. I like to smear shit. If it's a really big dump, I put it in my mouth, but don't eat it. I mostly pretend it's someone else shitting into my hands. I'm may be sort of bisexual, but I have my doubts. I would just die if my friend Holly wanted to shit 4 me. I'm 16 by the way.

Afterwards, I gargle, wash with dish soap or bleach, sometimes change clothes, etc.

Grossed Out Girl's picture

That is sick. lol I guess as long as he does it in private and I never, ever have to shake his hands idc. lol I think it's pretty funny he would tell his friend. I bet he has some kind of weird fantasy about poop and the friend he told. HA

Poop Monster's picture

Maybe me and your friend should hook up ;)

Anonymous Coward's picture

I do everything with my own poop except put it in my mouth and eat it and put it on my face or in my hair.

Diapers, plastic pants, tarps and beds are fun for poopy games. I like to save several days worth in a diaper or underwear just to play with all at once. There are many more games I play, but too much to list here :) All I can say is it's just as good as sex with a woman. When I can't be with a woman it's the best thing...gives me the most intense orgasms. I hope all poop lovers enjoy my partial testamony. Thanks :)

Shiza Curious One's picture

I initially discovered this website as I have a man who is VERRRY into the whole poop thing.
Talkin about it, askin for it...Wheee doggie,Uncle Jed...THE MAN LOVES POOP.

I honestly have to tell you,the asparagus comment is PLATINUM in my book. Subject appropriate humor at it's best. I have had hundreds of people ask me if I am a comedienne, because I love to make people laugh...(And it's not because of my looks, I'm a FOX...lol) and I cracked up at that asparagus comment. Also, as a newbie, I particularly enjoy all the comments over what people consider "GROSS" things, or things that people consider "deviant". Considering that we are on a website dedicated to the love of shit: for the love of Pete: Why are they here?Aloha: Welcome to "Kamanawanaseeya Poop Island!" This is the POOP website, where "degenerates" run wild and free! I say the degenerates are the people who have secret lusts and desires and LIE anout them.
Poop, there it is
Poop, there it is
Poop, there it is...

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

I , personally, have 247 skeletons in my closet. I simply have been too busy to throw them in my truck and get them out to the desert for the coyotes to gnaw on. That being said, my list of people who need to die is down by 247.
_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

Anonymous Coward's picture

Most of you can go suck a turd. Intolerant pricks...including those of you self-proclaimed "mature" individuals that still advise him to seek medical attention. Perhaps the root cause of his fetish is its social unacceptability. People are into weird stuff, period. There are transexuals who are attracted to their biological same sex..its confusing but that doesn't mean they should be locked up...the price you pay for damning people, IMO, is up to God. I wonder how many skeletons, sexual or otherwise, the most appalled of you have in your closet.

turdfan's picture
l 100+ points

Yea, that's pretty bad. I thought I was pretty weird because once in a while if I'm horny, I jerk off when I'm on the pot right before I poop--or sometimes while I'm pooping.

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

"Scheissen?"

"Okey, dokey!"

PLLL!!!

"Oh, sick! You're mom really sucks, Cartman!"

_______
Well, you don't actually blow on it. That's just an expression.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

Artful Dodger's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorl 100+ points

I love scat freaks. They make me feel much better about myself, and I get a good laugh at their rationalizations and complaints against the unfairness of "societal norms."

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

Love you too snookums.

Karen DaDum's picture

I love to smear pooh on my boyfriend...especially from a fresh load he's dumped in his depends...love you pumpkin!

I'm the Scatman's picture

Yes, people really do this.

No, it's not normal - it is unusual. Most people find it disturbing. No big surprise there, given the above comments.

Yes, clean-up is challenging.

No, if one uses antibacterial soap there is no lingering smell.

No one picks this fetish, but it is common enough to be well-documented and to support its own niche in fringe pornography.

People who are into this also can and do have otherwise normal and satisfying sex with other people, but this is not a fetish to bring up with a partner you aren't pretty sure is also into it.

To the original poster - your friend probably does feel weird about this, and you were the person he felt he could talk to. That's a good thing. It's not like he asked you to join in.

To those enquiring as to prefered texture, something firm enough to hold a shape, but not hard, is about ideal. It mushes to approximately the consistency of peanut butter (which is what some porn studios use instead). Aren't you glad you asked?

Herbert's picture

PD, I'm perfectly aware of that fact. But the process doesn't generally involve poop, and isn't generally advertised on a website. So please restrain yourself from writing a poem about it.

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

Herbert, be careful, or you will get one of my
"boys masturbate" poems.

Herbert's picture

This has to be one of the most disgusting threads on the site.

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

And Dave0777, your mom says if you do it again while in bed with her, she's throwing you out.

Dave0777's picture

I can undertsand this feeling, as i have frequently smeared myself in poop while masturbating and still do masturbate in my own piss then drink it

Dave

Anonymous Coward's picture

Dont tell me u r President Bush?!

5oclockpooper's picture

As an ex-CNA I know all about poop. I have seen people poop on them selves for years. We had one lady that would "fingerpaint" her room nightly. You could smell it at the entrance to the nursing home! BUT SMEARING IT ON YOURSELF ON PURPOSE!! THEN WACKING OFF!! NO WAY!!

Anonymous Coward's picture

"You masturbated in wet dirty diapers? So you KNEW what masturbation was as a toddler? I didnt know what that was til I was twelve! Never did it with poo though. Remember everyone be careful who you shake hands with!

Reply from Timmyboy:

I never said I knew what masturbation was. I only stated that as a toddler I enjoyed rubbing myself though my dirty diapers till I experienced an orgasm or shall I say till I felt a strong sense of releif.

a guy's picture

tell him to wear a diaper and masturbate while wearing it after pooping. see what he does.

"he" may or may not mean you.

mister fister's picture

it used to be bad to poop on yourself

buu hoe (butthole)'s picture

you nasty fucks eating shit without bread and butter what is wrong with yall damit

Artful Dodger's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorl 100+ points

doniker, keep in mind that the showing of man-boobs could result in a post being lamed. Sorry, dude. It's sexist, but in all honesty I'm okay with that.

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

Thanks, Bilge.

doniker, all joking aside, I have no idea why some comments are given extra points and others aren't. You and others made comments I've greated and thought "someone else has got to think this is gold". I've also looked at some of my own comments that got greated and didn't think they were that spectacular.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

catinthescat's picture

The first thought that came to my mind on the thread of masturbation with feces is a faounky malignant stanky infection that will linger in your hhha hhhm through life to become funky stanky ashes...and get stuck in a putrid smelling afterlife! OW owow OW. Sulpher and rancid poo and pee probably, and vomit and snot, for sure FOREVER!. Ugh ugh nooO Owooo no, not me!

When I was still in the baby bed I discovered this warm (or cold) stinky brown finger paint in my diaper and decorated my bed many mornings. I putty glued all the rungs on both sides and on both ends. The head and foot of my cage where the stencil of a stuffed animal was became my easel. CREATIVE!!! I probably got my nose stuck in it and whipped by my father. An instant deterrent to enjoying the morning pups and the beginning of a painful and obscessed life of constipation.

What if inn heaven our sewer becomes GOLD! Perfect karet consistency, not too soft ,and never too hard. Yellow gold, pink gold, watery GOLD! That's definitely where I want to be! Where a fecal terd becomes a GOLDEN NUGGET! A heavenly bouquet of frankincence and myrrh with every evacuation. Imagine that, no wiping and nooo dingleberries! So I think poop smearing during masturbation means one is still in an infancy developmental stage from being....I don't even want to begin to think what atrocity these shit-stirrers had to endure at the beginning of their lives that made them so perverted.

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

I greated it because it was really funny....and I'm a sucker for boobies.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

Heh. Actually, I don't know why it was greated 2+. I didn't notice it until you said something.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

I flashed my sweater puppies for user points. It was one of those days. I was caught between actually coming up with something that resembled wit or popping open the Jane Mansfield Gates of Pleasure and letting our quality comment moderators taste the upper dew on the mountains of desire.

"Yah!" but I decried, forlorn in my lack of popularity points, "I need social acceptance! Who will great my comment if I bare my gazongas to the world via Slutty Webcam?" Silent nods across the internet brazened my resolve.

I flashed for internet Springer Beads.

I am cheapened.

br>_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

doniker's picture
j 1000+ points

Great comment! +2 pointsdaphne (2919) -- 08.31.2006
A "good" golden shower? What's a "bad" one? Having a shower party the day after you've eaten a pound of asparagus?

I normally and really don't give a flying fuck about these mindless points but I just don't understand why d gets +2 for this comment.

I love you daphne....I'm not trying to mess with you girl...you are #1 but I don't understand the system

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

You must remember that this is a sited dedicated to POOP HUMOR. Of course there are going to be humorous replies to this topic. And if you don't have the tolerance for humor, you sure can understand those who don't have a tolerance for poop fetishes.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

what the poop's picture

wow, this is a four year old thread about poop masturbation. fancy that. first off, 1) a lot of you people need to learn some tolerance. imagine how hard it must be for someone who has such a socially debilitating fetish. i used to work with mentally ill people, some of whom were delusional, some of whom heard voices that told them to kill. let me tell you that it's hard for people who are different. point #2) if you do have such a fetish it seems fairly obvious that you should be seeking some sort of mental health counseling or therapy. it is technically not sanitary, and it can't be good for your social health. thanks to the two or three people who actually posted an intelligent comment. shame on the rest of you. go eat a turd.

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

oh yeah, PD, let me get that for ya...Doniker? Need a fill up for Prarie....

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

Can I (sniffle) have some warm milk too.

Artful Dodger's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorl 100+ points

Sorry, pd, but welcome to the nightmare. Would you care for a brownie? It's fresh from the oven...

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

Wha...He wakes up startled in the middle of the night. Sweating, trembling and breathing in short shallow fits. She takes his head and cradles it in her arms. Stroking his cheek, she says softly, it's ok, it's ok, it was only a bad dream. PLEASE GOD MAKE THAT HAPPEN TO ME NOW.

Anonymous Coward's picture

You masturbated in wet dirty diapers? So you KNEW what masturbation was as a toddler? I didnt know what that was til I was twelve! Never did it with poo though. Remember everyone be careful who you shake hands with!

Senor Popa's picture

i wonder... is the shit he's rubbing on himself while masturbating is soft or hard... and does your friend normally smell bad? kinda like your fingers after you've scratched your ass?

Boomerang's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

I should not have read this thread...I'm only 21! I shouldn't be reading this flith!

AAAAH

Shitler - Poop Nazi. I also have a joke about him hating Pews (that's Jews + Poo) but maybe that's a little offensive...

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

This is a good point, but the poster spelled E. coli wrong. It's Estreia coli. And pneumonia can be either a virus or bacterial infection....the aveoli filling with infectious liquid is one of the outcomes.

This was a good point to post, and because of that fact, sounding like a nit-picker is worth the risk.
_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Anonymous Coward's picture

fyi is you do engage in coprophilia, be warned that your poop contains alot of bacteria and one of them is estrica ecoil, that can cause pneumonia (fluid in your lungs) if you breath it in.

shit4brains's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

masterbating with poop seems a bit preposterous not too mentions macabre, like something out of a horror movie. but, different strokes for different folks? maybe if they feel wrong about it, they could try and get it sorted out, but if its not hurting anyone its probably ok. bird gotta fly, fish gotta swim, and some people need to rub shit into their skin. Even if nobody else wants to have sex with them, at least poop does.
_______
thunderbirds are go

thunderbirds are go

poopmypants's picture

Wierd, I dont think so! I wear diapers and poop and wet my diaper. Im 43 and I soil diapers daily. I even wear used diapers with pee and poop in them that I find in the dumpster. I love having poop in my pants, especially if its not my poop

Frank2401's picture
l 100+ points

Masturbating with poop?! Horrible thought. This thread makes me vasovagal.

GottaGoGirl's picture
i 2000+ points

To stay on topic, here, uh... my eccentricities do NOT include masturbating with poop. Just so everyone knows.

Re: "Mega-Churches": that's the American term for the phenomenon of these huge corporate "Stepford-ish" churches. I don't really like ours, but it's sort of a default choice for us, right now.

Another term is "McChurch".

Hamster's picture
k 500+ points

Even more staggering then!!I like 'only 2000-2500 show up .... ' Only!!! Mind, not many English churches of my knowledge would fit 700-800 people at once. Standing room only!!

As to eccentricity - nor can I!! Do you have any strange habits we don't know about!!??

Diane Goheen's picture

not really sure why people do it...how can this turn anybody on sexually at all? i have a friend who is VERY into it and she has gone even so far as to eat her own - she doesnt even buy toilet paper!

GottaGoGirl's picture
i 2000+ points

Actually, that's 700-800 PER SERVICE, and we run THREE worship services. The overall church membership is about 3000, but only about 2000-2500 show up on any given Sunday.

And the glove thing... I don't know. I'm already considered a bit eccentric...

Can't imagine why.

Hamster's picture
k 500+ points

GGG - wow!!!! 700-800 people at your church!!? Very impressive! Seriously though, is this not the reason why our dear old Queen wears gloves? If it is good enough for her .....

Miss Simone Scat's picture
k 500+ points

GGG, Maybe a good present for the pastors would be the hand sanitizer thingys. Either hand wipes or the pump.
Producing waste since 1967

Producing waste since 1967

GottaGoGirl's picture
i 2000+ points

The thing is, you don't know who ELSE'S hand they've shaken.

When we file out of church on Sunday, the pastor is at the middle door, and a staff pastor on the right and left doors. You CANNOT get out of the building without shaking one of their hands. "Bill! Good to see you. Mary, how are you doing?..."

If you're at the back of the line (of 700-800 people), you're coming in contact with EVERY hand that has passed before you. It doesn't stop me from shaking hands, but I DO stop by the Ladies' room to wash my hands before I pick up GoBoy.

I know Jesus said "Come as you are!", but I really wish some folks would at least wash their hands first!

Hamster's picture
k 500+ points

MSS - aside from Timmyboy's inane comments, I'd think you could apply similar logic to anyone you may meet and shake hands with. Who knows was disgusting habits they may have? Or what they may have been doing a few moments earlier??

Miss Simone Scat's picture
k 500+ points

The Thunderous, This will give me something to think about the next time i shake someone's hand.
Hi, Mr.BLACK...nice to meet you
(brain: wonder IF he does it?)
Yes, I did see your last movie
(brain: does he? The movie sucked)
No thank you ...I have a cocktail.
(brain: no way is HE getting me a drink...he looks like he does do IT.)
Producing waste since 1967

Producing waste since 1967

The Thunderous Crapper 63's picture
k 500+ points

You masturbated in wet dirty diapers? So you KNEW what masturbation was as a toddler? I didnt know what that was til I was twelve! Never did it with poo though. Remember everyone be careful who you shake hands with!
_______
The Thunderous Crapper 63 Enjoying home toilet advantage since 2004!

AHHHHHEMMMMMMMMMM JUST CLEARING MY THROAT!! ;)

Timmyboy's picture

Since I can remember, I have always liked the feel of poop ON my behind. When I was a toddler and still in diapers and plastic pants, I would intentionally sit down and squish the poop in my diapers. I would squeeze it between my legs and smear it all over my privates, and then masturbate in my wet,dirty diapers. Never understood why but have accepted it as my fetish.

Hamster's picture
k 500+ points

I think there is a degree of over-reaction on this one. The people who need psychiatric help or who should be under lock and key are rapists, paedophiles, terrorists, and those who commit senseless crimes of violence and vandalism. As I understand it, those who have poop fetishes indulge either alone, or with like-minded partners. Therefore harm no-one. Personally, I'm not into anything to do with masochism, for example, but many are, and what they do behind closed doors is their business. Let's get a bit more perspective and less holier-than-thou.

DRIP_DOWN_YO_LEG's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

ur friend needs help u need to help him and if its u and ur saying its a friend then you need help man not in a negative way you just need to find someone to help you man help
_______
i have met many people that talk like asses but i have not met many asses that talk like people

i have met many people that talk like asses but i have not met many asses that talk like people

Anonymous Coward's picture

i had wonderd if poo fetitshes actually existed...and then i found this site...man there are some sick motherfuckers here. i dont like to imagine girls shitting its a turn off. and may i just say to that guy who wanks with shit, you are one messed up fucker. you belong in a psyche ward under lock and key.

Jack Renshaw's picture

Man, I love this site!!

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Please, everyone. Let's all give Daphne a big plue one for her above comment!

_______
I was a category five! Category five, I tell you! Get it right or I'll be back to PROVE IT!!!!- Katrina

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

healthy 1's picture
j 1000+ points

I'm sorry but I think smearing poop all over one's self is just plain nasty.

As a young child it is one thing (still nasty, but I can go along with it). It sound like this dude does need some professional help, this is not normal. Then again, it seems to be a pretty common fetish.

Please tell me that he takes a good long shower, with the industrial sized bar of soap, after he is done smearing.
_______
Born to clog your bog, with a giant log.

"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

Anomalous Coward's picture
k 500+ points

Toto, something tells me we're not in Kansas anymore... Shit is amusing and all that, but I for one think this is waaaaaay too much information. Daph and GGG - too funny!

SamDamnit's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

I wonder if this comes from some sort of childhood potty training problems. Perhaps he wore diapers for a long time, and got used to having poop on his body.
_______
Sir SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan

SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan

GottaGoGirl's picture
i 2000+ points

Yeah, asparagus pee would be in a special booth at the Fetish Fair.

And are Catwoman and Gary in fact two different people, or are they two people in the same head, speaking collectively?

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

A "good" golden shower? What's a "bad" one? Having a shower party the day after you've eaten a pound of asparagus?


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Catwoman and Gary's picture

We feel that this is not that weird, and he should be allowed to use whatever he wants to get off with.
We persoanlly ejoy watching porn with such odd things in like poo fetishes and of course a good golden shower every now and again.

HEH!'s picture

Wow, and I thought the foot fetish I had was strange...

electric wizard's picture

Glad to see I'm not the only one haha
It's exciting for me, don't mind if you think i'm crazy ok :)

the log of hazzard's picture
l 100+ points

Yeah, this thread needs moderation.

As for the masturpooper, I can't understand why he likes to spread himself in himan waste, but he has all the right in the world to dom that so...bye.

Some are born crappy, some achieve crappiness, and some have crapiness thrusted upon them. (Do NOT be the last one)

Logjam's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Certainly in these days, such posts would not be tolerated by moderators (certainly not this one). But these got posted eons before the current system was in place, and it is my understanding that they've been grandfathered in. I'd like to leave them in so we can travel back to the wild west and get a taste of life like it used to be.

Logjam

Phillip DeCrapper's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

I just found this thread, and I have to say that it is disgusting. I'm with GGG, and would assk someone to moderate.

GottaGoGirl's picture
i 2000+ points

Could someone moderate this thread, please?

Double Flush's picture
k 500+ points

I don't see anything really wrong with this fetish so long as you clean up after. I try to keep an open mind. Then again, keep an open mind and people will throw shit in it.

_______
Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.

[Insert witty banter here]

Daily Constitutional's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Um, is poomaster talking about figging, or is there some other, grosser "sex with a ginger" out there?

shitbrick's picture

well if this whole shitting matter relates to us all being the animals we are i think it explains it's self because i saw a dog a few days ago shitting on another dogs head so i dont know what the fuck to think.
and the other dog dident even realise i mean...it must have been warm like having a duvet wrapped round you thats been sitting by the fire??
agree?
you would know if something was going..(dripping) down your face am i right??
haha

anti poo's picture

WTF..I never new poo fetishes really existed until the story my friend told me last night about mutual friends of ours... just trying to understand how poo couls be sexually exciting????

Anonymous Coward's picture

Wow i find all of your coments are as funny as how discusting this is.

Anonymous Poopers's picture

dude, gingers?!... thats messed up. :/

poomaster2000's picture

once, and i dont know if this is right or wrong, but i once had sex with a ginger

Winnie the Poo's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

An old girlfriend's little brother used to ... hmmm... "camouflage" his bike after going to the toilet. Why he did that I'll never know. His parents beat the crap (literally) out of him, and he never did it again.

Getting off with your own poo, is even stranger. But knowing that secret and still being his friend sound freakish to me. That guy should be in restraints, under strong medication at the coo coos house.

what?'s picture

Even though I find this extremely weird, strange and disgusting, we have to consider that humans are animals after all. And it is not uncommon for animals to do this sort of thing. Maybe they wouldn't masturbate with the stuff, but monkeys play with it, cats and dogs will roll in it after it has decayed mostly. Etc, etc.. Maybe these people just have some irresistible urge that they can't explain, much like an animal.

Anonymous Coward's picture

i did a fart once and a small poo came out, now i fart in a bag if im out clubbing

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Toilet muck, little kids do strange things. They either grow out of it or someone tells them to stop. When someone gets to be any older than about four this is a psychological problem.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

dr poo brains's picture

shit masturbatio is fine but i think cleanin it suks!!

Anonymous Coward's picture

Old School lube woohooooooooo
nothin beats that
god gave ya two hands too :D
i make full use, lol

smearing ur self in human crap ...
its fine with me ...
aslong as u dont come near me at all :)

toilet muck's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

when i was little, during my dumps i would smear feces on a wooden chair (yes i wiped it off). i didnt tell anyone and i grew out of it. but i wasnt crazy and i didnt eat it ore anything. try denial when your parents find shit everywhere.

Your poopiness's picture

After reading about all this crap I have to go hehehe. I thought it only happened with rushing water.

Bean Shit's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Tell me he takes showers after?

Shit for mercy.

Shit for mercy.

Shit happens's picture

I bet the most out raged are hiding some nasty little secret of their own.

poops alot's picture

you know, i have a foot fetish and i thought i was weird, but after i read that , mine isnt that bad, lol i mean who the fuck smears poop on themself and masterbates, thats just fucking wrong, lol.

??????withheld's picture

I'd like more info on the whole poop fetish and where I can go to get a good fix on it all...

shocked's picture

I am shocked at "poonurse's" judgmental comments and ignorance.

....'s picture

all that i can say is...this is a crappy matter...

The Truth's picture

You all call this guy gross, yet you are all on a site dedicated to poop...and don't act like you have scoured the net for at least one video or picture showing some man or woman taking a dump...as gross as it may sound, not one of you have immediatly turned off the comp and ran out of the room at the site of some gaping butthole pushing out excretement....i can tell just by reading some of these entries that many of you aren't being real with yourselves....whether its his friend or not, it doesnt matter...guys, u know we have all had our episodes where we have done somethin really gross with a girl, that may be on that shitty path...stuck a finger in the butt and sniffed it....hope and wish that a girl would fart....sniff underwear, not to say that we have all done all of those things, but things of that nature...and ladies...how many of you have squeezed one out while gettin it from behind, or masturbated just cuz you got horny from sitting on the toilet...again....not all of you have or will done something of this nature, but you all have your dirty little quirks....so let he who has not pooped and enjoyed it cast the first turd

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