that new book smell makes me poop

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j 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb
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Poonami asks:

Whenever I go into a card shop, library, or bookstore, the smell of all that paper makes my bowels want to empty immediately. Any insight into this quirky bung habit?





Dear Poonami,

It is really quite simple.

You have obviously at some point wiped your ass with a discarded Valentine's card, or with pages from a book that you keep by the can to read while dropping a load. Your ass, believe it or not, has a finely tuned memory for the types of materials it comes in contact with, and a well-developed sense of smell.

There is really no cure for this, unfortunately. Sorry I couldn't have been more help.

Please be advised that I am only a Poonurse. I am NOT a medical doctor. Any advice I give should be taken moderate skepticism. Please consult a REAL medical doctor if you feel you have a serious medical condition.

-- Poonurse

Poonurse is an RN with 25 years experience in labor and delivery. Her qualifications include seeing a lot of poop, and owning a computer. Also, she works in Michigan, which she calls the asshole of the universe, so that's another bit of credibility.

Got a question for her?












75 Comments on "that new book smell makes me poop"

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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Was it a religious bookstore? Maybe you were sensing all the crap inside.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

Steve's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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Do you read books on the crapper? I do and I also suffer from "bookstore shits."

I always assumed that since I dump while enjoying a good read, my brain ties the two smells together and tells me it's time to poop when the overpowering scent of books strikes me.

PooperGal's picture
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LOL
Steve, that could cause major problems for you when you're at the library or in Barnes&Noble or Border's when the restroom is on the opposite end of the building.

Pavlov would love this. :)

Slim Jim Junkie's picture
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Yes, this is a psychological thing. However, there are many other things I read here that are similar. Many people can't get their turd moving, until they hear a splash down from somebody else.

Jaid's picture
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I find that the musty smells of certain stores, such as Ames, K-Mart, etc, can trigger bowel movements. Also, hanging around in the frozen foods section at the supermarket can get me going.
I figure that the cold causes the bowels to constrict, but I have no idea why dust and damp can trigger the effect...

Logjam's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
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Many years ago, I noticed this same pattern after spending a while in the library stacks. I mentioned it to my brother who confirmed the same phenomena. I think there's something physiological going on here, for some people.

Logjam

Jason's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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Jaid, I've got the same thing... I buy and sell stuff on Ebay for a profit... and sometimes I have to go to the worst of the worst places to acquire the collectibles. Whenever I'm in Goodwill (or any other place that has a musty old smell,) I get the urge to shit, within minutes... oddly enough, it hardly happens anywhere else, even after I've eaten a greasy lunch at the Burger King. I wonder what the deal is? It's strange...

kk's picture
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i thought i was the only one who this happens to! glad i'm not alone in my weirdness. bookstores get me good but so does the video store.
i'm convinced the act of browsing causes it.

Lauren's picture
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I have always had this effect at the public library which is the WORST place to poo from all the homeless people plus they have 'county grade' tp which I could write an entire conspiracy theory book on! I thought it was maybe the glue in all the bindings gradually evaporating and fuming out all over. It doesn't seem psychological. It's a sudden intense phsyical crap like being ram rodded in the gut and I have to go! You can avoid this by reserving books online and popping in to pick them up and never browsing around in the stacks.

poo poo head's picture
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HOLY SHIT. I thought i was the only one. I get the urge from books, but i get it more from musty or dusty smells. The sure fire place is under my parents house. The musty smell, combined with having to bend slightly at the waist to avoid hitting my head gives me the urge almost immediately!!

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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Smell is a lot stronger for sparking a memory than any other sense. Maybe this smell just reminds everyone that they need to poop.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

Chronic Poot's picture
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We also react to bookstores and videoshoppes with the gassy buildup. Arrived here with the google query "why does the videostore make me fart". Though logical, I doubt the psychological explanation, since aging has switched the associations of "reading the newspaper/crappy inspirational bathroom books AND crapping" WITH "reading the newspaper/crappy inspirational bathroom books AND increasing the chances of developing hemorrhoids". So since I don't feel like I'm getting a flare-up of the piles when I'm perusing the Classics, I don't feel as if I'm in the grips of a Pavlovian dog's gut mindwarp. Though I do like to recreationally experiment with placebos now and then...

Smell is essentially TOUCH, as arguably are all the other senses, so I'm looking for a physiological explanation to my google query. Also, if you replace the word "smell" with the word "fume", you're hinting at a much more tangible aspect of the alchemy involved.

Anyway, I'm looking to invest in any company involved in BOTH pharmaceutical laxatives and book/video outlets. Please let me in on it if you hear anything.

mott the poople's picture
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Trippy...(!)

Asphincter says WHAT...(!)

a,'s picture
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Oh my goodness - I'm so glad there are others! I've noticed this same thing ever since I can remember. The smell of bookstacks totally makes me need to poop immediately. I discussed this with a friend the other day, and he has the same thing. SO STRANGE.

The Dumpster's picture
i 2000+ points
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Maybe this explains a couple of other threads we have going right now about people defacing library bathrooms with poop. Evidently there's something about the library that makes some folks have to go! Why is it, then, that the stereotypical old-maid librarian always looks so constipated?

I know a fellow who used to get a hardon in the grocery store. Back when he used to get hardons, that is.

Shit and Spin's picture
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There are many of us out here. I've always wondered about this phenomenon. I've noticed since high school that anytime I go into a library, I have to drop a load within 5 minutes. It's uncanny. I am a medical student now so I practically live at the library, and it still happens w/o fail. The odd thing is that I am a very private shitter. I HATE crapping anywhere but at home, and will go out of my way to get home if the need arises. However, I am now at peace with the library. It has defeated me. The 5th floor stall and I just had our daily date a few minutes ago; that's why I decided to type "books make me poop" into Google.

Bunghole In the Jungle's picture
l 100+ points
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I have a theory that insoluable fiber(such as wood pulp) may trigger a jealous reaction from reluctant bowels full of soluable fiber.

Or maybe it's just too many trips to the outhouse with the old Sears catalog bringing back fond memories....

Speaking of outhouses: If anyone ever mentions that you have really large feet simply remind them that, 'It takes more to support a courthouse than an outhouse!'

keeping the whack in tally-ho...
Fartuituos!
Serenshittipy!

janny doo doo's picture
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i used to have a similar experience when going to fabric stores with my mom. i guess i thought it was all in my head. lol

healthy 1's picture
j 1000+ points
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The Shit Volcano (3006) -- 03.25.2004
Was it a religious bookstore? Maybe you were sensing all the crap inside.

Crapping in a religious book stroe would result in a holly shit.

Poonami. It sounds to me like you have nothing more than a bad case of Pavlov's anus.
_______
"-55F, a new record low? Nope, thermometer went bad. Looks like -50F still stands"

"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

Poopologist's picture
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Is there any way of making it smell less? Like my girlfriend, I almost can't smell it after she comes out of the bathroom. I'm tired of having to quarantine the bathroom for 15-30 minutes after me :(

slifer's picture
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my ass always bleeds when I eat bread. Cause, BREADMAKESMEPOOP.COM. I love poop and toast. I like shit sandwiches and crapola. Lets keep intouch...with ourselves.

poooooooop!'s picture
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libraries and book stores always make me crap too! i love this website haha.. every weird pooping thing i've ever had is on here and there are a ton of other people who have had it!

i just went to barnes &noble yesterday and after 10 minutes, i was off to the bathroom. i can't spend more than 15 minutes in a library without having to go either. i guess if i'm constipated i know where to go!

Gary's picture
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I'm yet another one who can't browse a new or used bookstore without feeling like I need to crap. Weird.

googlepoo's picture
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Wow-- I'm so glad I'm not alone! I googled "smell triggers bowels" and didn't expect to get the exact result I wanted: Bookstores and libraries! Too weird. But(t) there's hope: I seem to have gotten over it just by admitting it! I've had this issue ever since I was a kid, but now that it's a joke in my family, it's suddenly gone. Go figure.

Another Bookstore Pooper's picture
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OMG! There ARE others! Everytime I go into a card store, bookstore or library it happens! It's terrible. I even have to be VERY careful when I'm in the grocery store and avoid looking at the card section! Too funny!

GottaGoGirl's picture
i 2000+ points
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Another Bookstore Pooper -- 07.29.2007 -- wrote: "OMG! There ARE others!..."

*Pssst!* There's a meeting tonight in the Metaphysical Section at Borders! Be there.

Hamster's picture
k 500+ points
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My ex used to get the same thing in trade warehouses - without fail. Anyone able to explain that!?

GottaGoGirl's picture
i 2000+ points
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The Dumpster (2588) -- 02.09.2006 -- "...
I know a fellow who used to get a hardon in the grocery store. Back when he used to get hardons, that is.
"

Walking by the canned clams, huh?

Artful Dodger's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorl 100+ points
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I thought clams were found in boxes.

GottaGoGirl's picture
i 2000+ points
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Damned if I know.

k00k's picture
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This has always happened to me. Not always with just books though but with browsing of any kind. Looking through racks of clothes, shopping, etc. I think it has something to do with putting the mind into a sequential thinking mode. I've trained myself to do this while browsing the web too. Specifically sites like eBay, etc. So, every morning when I get up, I now browse eBay and in anywhere from 2-10 mins, I'm ready to go!

healthy 1's picture
j 1000+ points
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I guess some of the mods don't like my jokes. What kind of a poop HUMOR site is this???
_______
"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

GottaGoGirl's picture
i 2000+ points
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H1, did you mean "holy"? THAT would have been kinda funny.

But I notice you said "holly", which doesn't make any sense, which is probably why you were "lame"'d.

It's all in the presentation.

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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Tip for healthy 1. Though everyone here is guilty of a lame post from time to time, most of us try our best to put some thought into our posts before we post them. (Most of the time!) It is fine if you have something to say about everything you read on this site. What annoys the moderators are when it is obvious that the poster is only doing so to rack up points, whether this is true or not.

We have had a few posters in the past who have done this. KeepOnCrappin, Double Flush, etc. Most of their comments were moronic, babbling, boring, or simply re-hashed what other people were saying just to post something. This kind of stuff tends to make the mods sensitive to anything a certain poster puts up.

Now, I am not going to cast an opinion on your joke, nor the reason it was lamed. I will say, that unless you have something relevant to post other than some equivelant of "me too" without any additional insight into why, just don't post it.

_______
Beware the shitticane. Election, 2008.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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Yeah, what TSV said.

oooo yay!!! plus one point for me!!!!

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

healthy 1's picture
j 1000+ points
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Yes, I did mean holy, my stupididty.

TSV, My above comments are meant as jokes. (going off topic a bit), Trust me, I have probably read well over 2000+ stories, and have either had nothing to say on some of them, or stopped reading midway through the story. I have only commented on about 50% of the stories that I have read, which I feel is a low percentage.
_______
"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

Senor Popa's picture
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Ah yes, I once wiped my ass with maple leaves, ever since then i cant walk into a forest without a trusty roll for Charmin. . .I just hope those cartoon bears don't want to borrow any

Looking for a loo's picture
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Like ko0k, I do not only have this problem in bookstores and libraries, but any place there's "browsing" of any sort. In fact, I first noticed this problem years ago when I was an avid music collector and would have to find a bathroom whenever I spent any time looking for items for my collection.

Now it seems to hit me any time I shop. My local library, unfortunately, doesn't have a toilet. :( I am hoping to figure out a solution that doesn't involve an adult diaper. It doesn't matter if go to the loo just before I go to the library, I am farting and needing a toilet within minutes of walking into a library.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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How many of you went to Catholic School? There might be a connection.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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holy cow! i can't stay in the library for more than ten minutes without getting the urge. i didn't expect that from this site.
i wonder if libraries go through a lot of tp?

mepoopsalot's picture
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I'm glad there are others who have to poop at a certain smell. For me its certain fragrance in candles or bubble bath. Not sure what, cause it doesn't always happen..but the latest was at Walgreens. Once I smell this fragrance I have too poop within half an hour but if I stay in the area of the smell, it will be within 5 minutes.

LeandraCullen's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points
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I always get that in Barnes and Noble's b/c I like the bathroom there, and they have a Starbuck's in the store with this really wierd drink that's like eating a box of ex lax
_______
I will never shit somewhere that only has that horrible, scratchy brand of toilet paper. That stuff sucks!

The Original Grasshopper

LeandraCullen's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points
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I think the smell is tied to my memory of the bathroom and the drink
_______
I will never shit somewhere that only has that horrible, scratchy brand of toilet paper. That stuff sucks!

The Original Grasshopper

Mrs. Mad Crapper's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points
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This always happens to me at the library. Try taking 3 kids with you into the toilet so you can take a super mega power dump from hell.
_______
Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

libarry pooper's picture
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Along with some others here, I am convinced that it is the browsing, not the smell of books, that triggers the bowel activity. I get it in bookstores, libraries, video rental stores, any place I browse. One more thing - when I am looking for something at home (like an item that is misplaced), I always have to stop the search after about 10 minutes to have a BM break.

Russell's picture
l 100+ points
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When I smell gasoline I want to take a dump for some reason. I don't know why I am like this but I think it's really kinda weird.
_______
Russell the shitting queen

Russell the shitting queen

ChiliKahKah's picture
j 1000+ points
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Go to a college book store, get the required books for the semester, go to the register, wait for the total and then you will feel like shitting !

The Poo-choo Train's picture
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I'm a library-pooer too! I always thought I was the only one! I walk in, return my books, browse for 10 seconds, then have to bolt for the can!
It never fails!
If you're constipated - go to the library!

Supershitter's picture
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I have the same probelm. Everytime I go to Library or Big Warehouses or to a big place where I am alone. I thought may be the fear of loneliness causing it.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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For me it is Sams club or BJ's whole sale club. Almost everytime I visit these stores, I am off to drop a load. I have long wondered what causes this reaction.

Anonymous 2234's picture
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This has happened to me since I was a kid. As an adult I find it happens in bookstores too, not just libraries. I always thought it was some strange coincidence until I found there were book poopers.
Anyone have any ideas why this happens? Is it psychological or a physical reaction to mold or that book smell or what?

Senator Butt Nugget's picture
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If you like books, it's probably the excitement of being in a bookstore that gets things flowing. I LOVE thrift stores, so a trip to Goodwill has me running for the shitter in 2 seconds flat. Schlop!

OMG's picture
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wow! me and my friend have been researching this in forever trying to find out why we always need the loo when we go into the old drama room, it is the smell of old things as other people need to go when they smell old books or antique stores. we really want to know why though, if anyone finds out.

ChiliKahKah's picture
j 1000+ points
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How do you do with the Itunes online shop ?

Alone in England's picture
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After years of suffering from this I am SO pleased to find that my family isn't the only family of weirdos. I get this in libraries, large DIY warehouses and supermarkets. I've come to the conclusion its shelves cos I don't get it when I am clothes shopping. It's a major problem for me as my local super market doesn't have a toilet and sometimes it's so bad I end up with such bad cramps I am unable to move and am in a cold sweat. The weird things is I've suffered from this since my first job as a 16 yr old when I noticed this effect in the shop stock room. I never told anyone but it wasn't till I was 30 my mum confessed she has the same too in supermarkets and now I have noticed my 8 yr old daughter also has it in libraries - so it's definately hereditary but we didn't tell each other about it so it's not autosuggestion. Does anybody know a cure?????

shitake boy's picture
l 100+ points
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I was in a bookstore recently, and apparently I am not the only one who experiences this problem. I was in a local barnes and noble for no more than around 15 minutes, and was suddenly hit with the urge. I immediately sprinted to the bathroom, where I had a very large bowel movement. While I was in there, otheres were coming in and doing the same. I was obvoiusly not completely finished as I originally thought, because within approximately 5 minutes after leaving the bathroom, I was back in the bathroom for another, equally as large bowel movement. After we left the store I was fine for the rest of the day. I have to agree that bookstores and libraries do trigger the bowels to empty.

_______
In search of the ever evasive BM

In search of the ever evasive BM

Alone in England's picture
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I've just read this thread to my 8 yr old daughter, mentioned in my post above, because she and I often make mention of our 'poo monster' that lurks in certain shops just waiting to grab us. She was amazed to read some of the other posts because she gets it in Block buster video and our local card shops - whereas I don't. She hadn't told me this before. She's a classic PPP - PAPER PRODUCTS POOPER. We were both amazed. She's only 8 - so please no one tell me this has something to do with a past experience with paper or reading on the crapper, cos she's only just learnt to read!

I'm trying to find a similar website in the UK so I can gather fellow sufferers. Anyone know of one?

super pooper #?'s picture
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OMG!!! IM SUFFERING FROM THE SAME PROBLEM SINCE I WAS A CHILD. IM 30 Y.O. NOW AND STILL CAN'T BE IN THE BOOK STORE OR LIBRARY WITHOUT RUNNING TO THE BATHROOM TO DO #2...ANYBODY KNOW SOLUTION?

Dropping the kids at the pool's picture
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My friend has just started working at the State Library & commented on how her work place seems to make people run to the toilet. I was so busy trying not to wet my pants I didn't get all the details about her evidence of this phenomenon. I was so pleased to know it was not just me! I first noticed it at our high school library, then the video stores (I never borrow, can't stay in the shop long enough to choose). It became more pronounced at my Uni library & then I started to notice it when faced with a selection of pamphlets. In fact, I had to run to the potty when I started reading this website!

ChiliKahKah's picture
j 1000+ points
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Try audio books next. See if there is a connection between the writen word and your poop.

Mr Nard's picture
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HA HA HA HA HA HA.... ChiliKahKah you don't how funny that is... i know "Dropping the kids at the pool" and audio books are something very close to her fart.... (sorry!)

Dropping the kids at the pool's picture
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Nice one Mr Nard - whoever you are! Yes, it's true, I work in the southern hemispheres' largest audio book publishing company & it does give me the sh!ts...

Anonymous Coward's picture
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Every time I go to a Barnes & Noble I have to poop too!!! Its something about the new book smell or maybe just books that relax my bowells and I immediately have to go. every time.

Funnypoo's picture
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It's true. I am not alone. Within a few minutes of going into a library, or bookstore I have to poop. For at least 20 years it has always happened. Sometimes I can hold it until I leave, then I'm fine. No more hedgehogging. But sometimes I have to find the bathroom immediately.

Library Liberation 's picture
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ME TOO! I heard this in a movie, I forget the name... maybe an indie movie? I was shocked to hear it in a movie! I thought 'Her TOO??' Then.. I looked online... and there really are others!

Poopbrowser's picture
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I am pooping in a barnes and noble right now as I was looking up this phenomenon. Like many others have said, I am shocked that I am not alone. Bookstores and video stores... What could this mean?

lol's picture
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haha I'm laughing so hard right now. I can't believe i'm not the only one that suffers from this. I read all the comments to see if any one had any good explanations for this, but idk..I always assumed it was connected to how excited and inspired books make me. To me, it seems like when I see and smell all the books and get excited it makes me have to poop. It's weird and i HATE it cause I don't like pooping in public bathrooms!

Dropping the kids at the pool's picture
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My husband recently phoned me while I was shopping... 'Where are you?' he asked... 'Officeworks' was my reply... 'Do you need to go to the toilet?'

Kimb's picture
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Thank you all for helping me to no longer feel like a freak. I now use a trip to the library as a way to quickly remedy constipation.

PS: for me it's just libraries/used book stores -- not new.

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
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It will be a sad day when Borders Bookstore closes; I have always enjoyed their wide selection of books at good prices. I have also used their bathrooms, which are OK, but not quite as nice as Barnes & Noble.