that new book smell makes me poop

// // 75 Comments
j 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb
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Poonami asks:

Whenever I go into a card shop, library, or bookstore, the smell of all that paper makes my bowels want to empty immediately. Any insight into this quirky bung habit?





Dear Poonami,

It is really quite simple.

You have obviously at some point wiped your ass with a discarded Valentine's card, or with pages from a book that you keep by the can to read while dropping a load. Your ass, believe it or not, has a finely tuned memory for the types of materials it comes in contact with, and a well-developed sense of smell.

There is really no cure for this, unfortunately. Sorry I couldn't have been more help.

Please be advised that I am only a Poonurse. I am NOT a medical doctor. Any advice I give should be taken moderate skepticism. Please consult a REAL medical doctor if you feel you have a serious medical condition.

-- Poonurse

Poonurse is an RN with 25 years experience in labor and delivery. Her qualifications include seeing a lot of poop, and owning a computer. Also, she works in Michigan, which she calls the asshole of the universe, so that's another bit of credibility.

Got a question for her?












75 Comments on "that new book smell makes me poop"

Anonymous's picture

I can't go in to a book store or a second hand book store without needing to go sooner or later. Fact. Mark - Isle of Man, UK.

Anonymous's picture

What Would Jesus Dook?

Hollyday's picture

This happens to me in libraries as well. I notice I also have a problem in my local mom and pop's pharmacy. I think that because I am high strung that when I enter these "calming" places I get nervous. Therefore I have to run to the bathroom. You know that when one gets nervous they either have poop or pee their pants. Anyone ever hear the high pitch noise coming from flourescent lighting? It makes my eyes all squinty and I feel like falling asleep. I've noticed this in three different mom and pop pharmacies throughout my life. The only three I've ever gone into. Anyway............

Anonymous's picture

I notice that when I enter a relaxing place like a library or or even a mom and pop's pharmacy (I know, strange) I get the urge to go. I think because I am high strung that entering a relaxing place loosens me up a bit. It slows my breathing...I also hear the high pitch sound from the flourescent lighting in pharmacies for some reason. It makes my eyes squint. Anyone get that? Anyway......

Anonymous's picture

It happens to me when i am at coles or kmart shops as well as every time i go to our underground storage room at home. I believe it is something to do with the chemicals in the air that we breath in, at these places.

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

It will be a sad day when Borders Bookstore closes; I have always enjoyed their wide selection of books at good prices. I have also used their bathrooms, which are OK, but not quite as nice as Barnes & Noble.

Kimb's picture

Thank you all for helping me to no longer feel like a freak. I now use a trip to the library as a way to quickly remedy constipation.

PS: for me it's just libraries/used book stores -- not new.

Dropping the kids at the pool's picture

My husband recently phoned me while I was shopping... 'Where are you?' he asked... 'Officeworks' was my reply... 'Do you need to go to the toilet?'

lol's picture

haha I'm laughing so hard right now. I can't believe i'm not the only one that suffers from this. I read all the comments to see if any one had any good explanations for this, but idk..I always assumed it was connected to how excited and inspired books make me. To me, it seems like when I see and smell all the books and get excited it makes me have to poop. It's weird and i HATE it cause I don't like pooping in public bathrooms!

Poopbrowser's picture

I am pooping in a barnes and noble right now as I was looking up this phenomenon. Like many others have said, I am shocked that I am not alone. Bookstores and video stores... What could this mean?

Library Liberation 's picture

ME TOO! I heard this in a movie, I forget the name... maybe an indie movie? I was shocked to hear it in a movie! I thought 'Her TOO??' Then.. I looked online... and there really are others!

Funnypoo's picture

It's true. I am not alone. Within a few minutes of going into a library, or bookstore I have to poop. For at least 20 years it has always happened. Sometimes I can hold it until I leave, then I'm fine. No more hedgehogging. But sometimes I have to find the bathroom immediately.

Anonymous Coward's picture

Every time I go to a Barnes & Noble I have to poop too!!! Its something about the new book smell or maybe just books that relax my bowells and I immediately have to go. every time.

Dropping the kids at the pool's picture

Nice one Mr Nard - whoever you are! Yes, it's true, I work in the southern hemispheres' largest audio book publishing company & it does give me the sh!ts...

Mr Nard's picture

HA HA HA HA HA HA.... ChiliKahKah you don't how funny that is... i know "Dropping the kids at the pool" and audio books are something very close to her fart.... (sorry!)

ChiliKahKah's picture
j 1000+ points

Try audio books next. See if there is a connection between the writen word and your poop.

Dropping the kids at the pool's picture

My friend has just started working at the State Library & commented on how her work place seems to make people run to the toilet. I was so busy trying not to wet my pants I didn't get all the details about her evidence of this phenomenon. I was so pleased to know it was not just me! I first noticed it at our high school library, then the video stores (I never borrow, can't stay in the shop long enough to choose). It became more pronounced at my Uni library & then I started to notice it when faced with a selection of pamphlets. In fact, I had to run to the potty when I started reading this website!

super pooper #?'s picture

OMG!!! IM SUFFERING FROM THE SAME PROBLEM SINCE I WAS A CHILD. IM 30 Y.O. NOW AND STILL CAN'T BE IN THE BOOK STORE OR LIBRARY WITHOUT RUNNING TO THE BATHROOM TO DO #2...ANYBODY KNOW SOLUTION?

Alone in England's picture

I've just read this thread to my 8 yr old daughter, mentioned in my post above, because she and I often make mention of our 'poo monster' that lurks in certain shops just waiting to grab us. She was amazed to read some of the other posts because she gets it in Block buster video and our local card shops - whereas I don't. She hadn't told me this before. She's a classic PPP - PAPER PRODUCTS POOPER. We were both amazed. She's only 8 - so please no one tell me this has something to do with a past experience with paper or reading on the crapper, cos she's only just learnt to read!

I'm trying to find a similar website in the UK so I can gather fellow sufferers. Anyone know of one?

shitake boy's picture
l 100+ points


I was in a bookstore recently, and apparently I am not the only one who experiences this problem. I was in a local barnes and noble for no more than around 15 minutes, and was suddenly hit with the urge. I immediately sprinted to the bathroom, where I had a very large bowel movement. While I was in there, otheres were coming in and doing the same. I was obvoiusly not completely finished as I originally thought, because within approximately 5 minutes after leaving the bathroom, I was back in the bathroom for another, equally as large bowel movement. After we left the store I was fine for the rest of the day. I have to agree that bookstores and libraries do trigger the bowels to empty.

_______
In search of the ever evasive BM

In search of the ever evasive BM

Alone in England's picture

After years of suffering from this I am SO pleased to find that my family isn't the only family of weirdos. I get this in libraries, large DIY warehouses and supermarkets. I've come to the conclusion its shelves cos I don't get it when I am clothes shopping. It's a major problem for me as my local super market doesn't have a toilet and sometimes it's so bad I end up with such bad cramps I am unable to move and am in a cold sweat. The weird things is I've suffered from this since my first job as a 16 yr old when I noticed this effect in the shop stock room. I never told anyone but it wasn't till I was 30 my mum confessed she has the same too in supermarkets and now I have noticed my 8 yr old daughter also has it in libraries - so it's definately hereditary but we didn't tell each other about it so it's not autosuggestion. Does anybody know a cure?????

ChiliKahKah's picture
j 1000+ points

How do you do with the Itunes online shop ?

OMG's picture

wow! me and my friend have been researching this in forever trying to find out why we always need the loo when we go into the old drama room, it is the smell of old things as other people need to go when they smell old books or antique stores. we really want to know why though, if anyone finds out.

Senator Butt Nugget's picture

If you like books, it's probably the excitement of being in a bookstore that gets things flowing. I LOVE thrift stores, so a trip to Goodwill has me running for the shitter in 2 seconds flat. Schlop!

Anonymous 2234's picture

This has happened to me since I was a kid. As an adult I find it happens in bookstores too, not just libraries. I always thought it was some strange coincidence until I found there were book poopers.
Anyone have any ideas why this happens? Is it psychological or a physical reaction to mold or that book smell or what?

Anonymous Coward's picture

For me it is Sams club or BJ's whole sale club. Almost everytime I visit these stores, I am off to drop a load. I have long wondered what causes this reaction.

Supershitter's picture

I have the same probelm. Everytime I go to Library or Big Warehouses or to a big place where I am alone. I thought may be the fear of loneliness causing it.

The Poo-choo Train's picture

I'm a library-pooer too! I always thought I was the only one! I walk in, return my books, browse for 10 seconds, then have to bolt for the can!
It never fails!
If you're constipated - go to the library!

ChiliKahKah's picture
j 1000+ points

Go to a college book store, get the required books for the semester, go to the register, wait for the total and then you will feel like shitting !

Russell's picture
l 100+ points

When I smell gasoline I want to take a dump for some reason. I don't know why I am like this but I think it's really kinda weird.
_______
Russell the shitting queen

Russell the shitting queen

libarry pooper's picture

Along with some others here, I am convinced that it is the browsing, not the smell of books, that triggers the bowel activity. I get it in bookstores, libraries, video rental stores, any place I browse. One more thing - when I am looking for something at home (like an item that is misplaced), I always have to stop the search after about 10 minutes to have a BM break.

Mrs. Mad Crapper's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

This always happens to me at the library. Try taking 3 kids with you into the toilet so you can take a super mega power dump from hell.
_______
Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

LeandraCullen's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points

I think the smell is tied to my memory of the bathroom and the drink
_______
I will never shit somewhere that only has that horrible, scratchy brand of toilet paper. That stuff sucks!

The Original Grasshopper

LeandraCullen's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points

I always get that in Barnes and Noble's b/c I like the bathroom there, and they have a Starbuck's in the store with this really wierd drink that's like eating a box of ex lax
_______
I will never shit somewhere that only has that horrible, scratchy brand of toilet paper. That stuff sucks!

The Original Grasshopper

mepoopsalot's picture

I'm glad there are others who have to poop at a certain smell. For me its certain fragrance in candles or bubble bath. Not sure what, cause it doesn't always happen..but the latest was at Walgreens. Once I smell this fragrance I have too poop within half an hour but if I stay in the area of the smell, it will be within 5 minutes.

Anonymous Coward's picture

holy cow! i can't stay in the library for more than ten minutes without getting the urge. i didn't expect that from this site.
i wonder if libraries go through a lot of tp?

Anonymous Coward's picture

How many of you went to Catholic School? There might be a connection.

Looking for a loo's picture

Like ko0k, I do not only have this problem in bookstores and libraries, but any place there's "browsing" of any sort. In fact, I first noticed this problem years ago when I was an avid music collector and would have to find a bathroom whenever I spent any time looking for items for my collection.

Now it seems to hit me any time I shop. My local library, unfortunately, doesn't have a toilet. :( I am hoping to figure out a solution that doesn't involve an adult diaper. It doesn't matter if go to the loo just before I go to the library, I am farting and needing a toilet within minutes of walking into a library.

Senor Popa's picture

Ah yes, I once wiped my ass with maple leaves, ever since then i cant walk into a forest without a trusty roll for Charmin. . .I just hope those cartoon bears don't want to borrow any

healthy 1's picture
j 1000+ points

Yes, I did mean holy, my stupididty.

TSV, My above comments are meant as jokes. (going off topic a bit), Trust me, I have probably read well over 2000+ stories, and have either had nothing to say on some of them, or stopped reading midway through the story. I have only commented on about 50% of the stories that I have read, which I feel is a low percentage.
_______
"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Yeah, what TSV said.

oooo yay!!! plus one point for me!!!!

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Tip for healthy 1. Though everyone here is guilty of a lame post from time to time, most of us try our best to put some thought into our posts before we post them. (Most of the time!) It is fine if you have something to say about everything you read on this site. What annoys the moderators are when it is obvious that the poster is only doing so to rack up points, whether this is true or not.

We have had a few posters in the past who have done this. KeepOnCrappin, Double Flush, etc. Most of their comments were moronic, babbling, boring, or simply re-hashed what other people were saying just to post something. This kind of stuff tends to make the mods sensitive to anything a certain poster puts up.

Now, I am not going to cast an opinion on your joke, nor the reason it was lamed. I will say, that unless you have something relevant to post other than some equivelant of "me too" without any additional insight into why, just don't post it.

_______
Beware the shitticane. Election, 2008.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

GottaGoGirl's picture
i 2000+ points

H1, did you mean "holy"? THAT would have been kinda funny.

But I notice you said "holly", which doesn't make any sense, which is probably why you were "lame"'d.

It's all in the presentation.

healthy 1's picture
j 1000+ points

I guess some of the mods don't like my jokes. What kind of a poop HUMOR site is this???
_______
"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

k00k's picture

This has always happened to me. Not always with just books though but with browsing of any kind. Looking through racks of clothes, shopping, etc. I think it has something to do with putting the mind into a sequential thinking mode. I've trained myself to do this while browsing the web too. Specifically sites like eBay, etc. So, every morning when I get up, I now browse eBay and in anywhere from 2-10 mins, I'm ready to go!

GottaGoGirl's picture
i 2000+ points

Damned if I know.

Artful Dodger's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorl 100+ points

I thought clams were found in boxes.

GottaGoGirl's picture
i 2000+ points

The Dumpster (2588) -- 02.09.2006 -- "...
I know a fellow who used to get a hardon in the grocery store. Back when he used to get hardons, that is.
"

Walking by the canned clams, huh?

Hamster's picture
k 500+ points

My ex used to get the same thing in trade warehouses - without fail. Anyone able to explain that!?

GottaGoGirl's picture
i 2000+ points

Another Bookstore Pooper -- 07.29.2007 -- wrote: "OMG! There ARE others!..."

*Pssst!* There's a meeting tonight in the Metaphysical Section at Borders! Be there.

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