nothing makes me poop. what next?

// // 72 Comments
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content Moderatora 10000+ points - Super Pooperb 9000+ pointsc 8000+ pointsd 7000+ pointse 6000+ pointsf 5000+ pointsg 4000+ pointsh 3000+ pointsi 2000+ pointsj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb
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Editor's note: Normally I wouldn't post this until Motherload has written an answer. But she's not around and this guy REALLY needs help. Any ideas?


Dear Motherload,

I saw my doctor because I was not pooping regularly. In fact, I was going about every four days, and it was not very much at all. Now, I took my friends' and families' advice and ate better, worked out, and add Benefiber to a lot of beverages (non-carbonated) three times a day. Unfortunately, it did not work. I gained sixty pounds in two months with the health food consumption, the physical fitness, and the Benifiber and stool softener.

My doctor sent me to get an X-ray of my stomach down to my colon. The results were hard to bear. There was approximately five pounds of shit in my intestines. So he told me to take Fleet Phospho-soda oral saline to clear out the blockage because it was a dangerous amount of stool in my body.

I took it. Over the course of a day (give or take), I drank the entire flask of Phospho-soda with water. To my dismay, I had a few squirts, but that was it. I have taken stool softener before the incident as well, and that has done nothing.

I am calling my doctor tomorrow to tell him how my quest to dump my ass went. But I noticed a lot of neat discussions here and thought maybe I could get some aid. I have drank all the recommended fluids, swapped out milk and cheese consumption for yogurt, and backed off the caffeine and fast food -- but nothing. What next!?!

Thanks,

Nick L


Editor's note: Nick wrote back a few days later with more details.

After my appointment, I was put on Fleet Phospho-soda (I took three bottles in one week). No luck. I was put on Fleet Enema, extra large (I took two of them), and no luck -- pooped only the fluid from the enema. I did a gallon of this rancid prescribed medication called GoLytley that had little effect but lots of nausea as I held it down. It made me let out fluid, but not diarrhea, and nothing solid. And it took about three hours to take the medication and then four hours of liquidy yellow substance, but it never turned clear. My X-ray still showed poop filled in my intestines to capacity.

I am seeing a gastroenterologist since my condition has not really improved.

-- Nick L

72 Comments on "nothing makes me poop. what next?"

C Everett Poop's picture
j 1000+ points
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Is there a Taco Bell in your town? Just driving past one usually loads the chamber for me.

chrissy's picture
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Try a Hydro Colonic. They squirt ten gallons of water up your behind and then an over powering of turds gets flushed out. If you look them up in the yellow pages you will find one.

CaCa Doodle Doo's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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Get a product called OxyPowder (there is a report about it here on Poop Report.) It is used extensively with children in the autism community who have horrible bowel issues at times. It works!

loaf pincher's picture
l 100+ points
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I agree with cep taco bell,or sonic always fill my bomb bay and require the swift need to find a place to drop a bomb asap. My brother in law has just recently had this problem for about a week he has not been able to dump after 3 visits to his doctor it was discovered that he has kidney stones and they think that may be the problem.

CravenMorhead's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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Honestly it is hard to say what could be causing this. My gut instinct is an intestinal blockage. Something else that it might be, though I have no idea how it would occur, is a paralyzed or necrotic intestinal span.

I would suggest, and it is a suggestion from an internet person who only has slight biological knowledge compared to a doctor/nurse, is to switch to a liquid diet for a while. This might cause erosion of the mass, as well as preventing further growth.

I am stumped to be honest.

_______

Always,
Craven Morhead

Always,
Craven Morhead

Poonanza's picture
l 100+ points
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The fast food could be on the right track, After that healthy diet for so long having a day's worth of taco bell could flip the switch. But I've got a bad feeling that's it's worse.

You described just fluid coming out, pretty transparent, which sounds to me like all the medicinal fluids you're taking are eking past the poo and going right out. But the food you eat hits the block and stays there. I'm guessing that it's hard and stopped up for some reason, but the stool softeners didn't work? You might have to go in and get tunneled out with roto rooters or whatever doctors use. I think a manual disimpaction is in order.

maxpoopwell's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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Not to scare you, but it might require surgery. Friend of mine needed to have a small portion of his intestines removed because it was basically inflamed and paralyzed, not doing its job in passing poo out of the body. Like Crohn's, but different. The good news is, the surgery worked, and he's doing fine now.

Squat-n-leaveit's picture
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An osteopathic friend of mine had a patient in a nursing home. She had stopped shitting and felt, well, shitty! The MDs had recommended exploratory surgery, he thought she needed manual manipulation. After deep massage, she started going, and going, like the energizer bunny. Perhaps your blockage just needs crumbled. Hope this helps.

Coach Rawle's picture
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This is easy, yep you have a serious blockage for sure. squat-n-leaveit idea of a massage is right on track.

Also I would highly suggest you don't waste any more time going to your doctor and/or taking all that stuff he/she is recommending. Medicine does help and it may/will cause more harm than good. Ditch your doctor and ditch the drugs.

Go and Get a Colon Hydrotherapy session. Actually from what I am reading you will probably need a few sessions. Make sure the person or business is a member if the International Association of Colon Hydrotherapy (IACT)http://www.i-act.org.

Once you get this done, you will feel as light as a feather and as healthy as a well healthy person. You will still need to figure out how you got to that point in the first place and try not to let it happen again.

Good luck and stay regular as you definitely DO NOT WANT TO DEVELOP COLON CANCER!!

Coach Rawle
"Don't Train Slow To Race Fast. It's All About SPEED"

Eoz's picture
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Poor you :( You must be miserable.

It really sounds like you've tried everything in terms of diet, stool softeners, fiber supplements and enemas, so it sounds like manual disimpaction is the way to go, now.

It seems as though the liquid flows past the obstruction because of gravid, and that your bowels are no longer helping the clog by "pushing" it along.

I think you need to get a second opinion; I would be concerned that this might be something more serious.

Good luck!

Coach Crap's picture
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I think your best advice so far is from Squat and Leaveit and Poonanza and Craven.They have to get you squeaky clean so they can do a colonoscopy.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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This is a genuine medical emergency. You need to get yourself to an emergency room ASAP. To me, this sounds like some sort of blockage that needs medical intervention.

Logjam's picture
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Think about it -- you've been to your doctor 2 or 3 times about this, and here you are an over-stuffed sausage asking PoopReporters for help. Time to find a doctor with a brain. And yeah, I'd head right to the emergency room.

Logjam

P Hole's picture
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Domino's Pizza always gives me the shits, and it works fast! Also, I agree with Logjam that you need to find a new doctor.

_______
P Hole

P Hole

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
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When I am constipated I go to the local chapter of Hell's Angels
and taunt them by calling them a bunch of sissies. They usually beat the shit out of me.

Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

phatmanxxl's picture
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You could try to take a plunger to your ass.

sittingpretty's picture
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HAHHAHAha Chief, you are funny. When that much fiber is taken and not enough water along with it, the feces gets hard. The fiber needs lots and lots of water, always. Now go back to your same doctor with the poor results so he knows. If you don't tell him it didn't work he will assume you got good results. Bulk fiber OTC is more for maintanance if lack of fiber in the diet is the cause of the constipation. Before one gets on bulk fiber for maintanance it is probably best to take a cathartic first to blast out the hard stuff. Butt you created something like cement in there that might melt eventually over weeks as the golytely and fleets phosfree erodes it.... Uh, by the way, the directions on the fleets or any cathartic are there to be read first. You should have drunk it ALL all at once then drunk as many glasses of water it says to drink. You have to drink a lot of water when taking laxatives for them to work. I have a suggestion. it is a bowel prep for a defacagraphy or barium enema. At 12 noon eat and drink only the following: 1 c. bouillon soup 1 chicken or turkey white meat sandwich not dressed no butter no mayonaise no lettuce etc., on white bread or toast. 1/2 glass clear apple juice or clear white grape juice, 1 serving plain jello no cream or fruit etc. 1 glass nonfat milk. (1 ensure or sustacal can replace meal) 1p. drink 1 full glass 8 oz. of water or more. 2p repeat 8 oz water. 3p repeat the water. 4p repeat the water. 5p drink 1 cup bouillon soup, 1 glass clear apple juice or clear grape juice 1 jello serving plain. 6p 8 or more oz. water. 7p. 8 oz or more of water. 8p same. 9p take 3 dulcolax tablets with 8 oz. water. swallow whole. (don't take with in 1 hour of antacids). don't eat or drink after taking the dulcolax tablets.. In the morning drink 1 1/2 glasses of water. insert 1 dulcolax suppository into your rectum. close thighs and retain suppository for 15-20 minutes if possible. Poo and poo and poo and
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

sittingpretty's picture
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If you still have a fecal obstruction after that clean out, then you better start saying your prayers. Before you try that bowel prep you should ask your doctor first. I hope you get relief. I will be taking this prep myself on wednesday because I'm having a defacagraphy on thursday. I'm saying my prayers too. Chief will you take me to the hells angels, so they will beat the shit out of me. I will call them mama's titty ninneys. I'm running out of options.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
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sittingpretty....I enjoy making people laugh but I will be thinking about you as you undergo your defacography, I hope whatever is discovered will be easy to fix.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

bloody-stinktube's picture
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ya know, im not generally a person to call bullshit, but come the fuck on. this guy claims to have gained SIXTY POUNDS in impacted fecal material?? he would be DEAD. if a normal person is backed up for just a week or two, its a serious health risk and they will start getting sick.. how the hell long would it take to back up 60 pounds worth??

Dildo Baggins's picture
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_A while ago I worked at a psychiatric hospital, in the addiction unit.One of the problems the dopers had when they detoxed was severe constipation. When diet and other therapies failed, the solution of last resort was called "The Green Grenade". This was a glycyrin suppository inserted with an instrument whose name I can't recall, although I think women call them dildoes._The grenade is a 5 step process in that once inserted you have about 5 steps to run for the commode before something akin to a shit A-Bomb goes off in your pants. So, my advice is for you to either turn into an addict or a drunk, check into rehab, then request the Green Grenade._____
Here I sit, my cheeks a flexin', about to give birth to another Texan.

Look out for Number 1, but don't step in Number2

phatmanxxl's picture
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Lol at green grenade. My son had one earlier in his diaper.

MSG's picture
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Sittingpretty, doesn't defecography mean they take an x-ray of the person's defecation process? I haven't seen (or had) one, but I understand that, for the professional reading the results, it can be quite informative. Best of everything in that procedure!

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
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Dear bloody stinktube......your reading interpretive skills are lacking, the author never said he had 60 lbs of impacted shit. Go back and read it again!


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Deja Poo's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points
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I don't know that it will work for you, but I'm a big dried fruit fan. I find that eating a bag of dried apple rings and/or a bag of dried peaches and/or a bag of slab apricots from Trader Joe's does the job nicely. It also has the benefit of inspiring my co-worker, with whom I share an office, to work off-site as much as possible.

I suggest that you get yourself a case of mineral water from the Rio de Caca near Tijuana. That never fails to clean me out.

If that doesn't work, I might suggest getting some bottled water from any river in South Eastern Africa, especially from the Congo. A little dysentery or cholera goes along way.
_______
Yo quiero Taco Bell.

Yo quiero Taco Bell.

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points
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I, too, love Trader Joe's dried fruit rings and other goodies. With lots of water, dried fruit can be quite explosive.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

starburst's picture
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I had a bout of this last year myself and a bottle of castor oil followed by two beers. About an hour later i was a human water cannon for two and a half hours!

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
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Dried apples bring back memories of childhood. My mother used to peel literally bushels of apples which I had to take to the rooftop and spread thinly over a clean white sheet. I had to climb up occasionally to rake them around and to insure no ants had found them.

No sulfuring was involved so they turned brown and became very leathery. They were stored in large drawstring bags (home made) and used for the world's best tasting apple pies throughout the winter. Many a delicious southern "fried pie" was also made.

We dried peaches the same way.I recall very few bouts of constipation in our family.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Dildo Baggins's picture
l 100+ points
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_Along the lines of the dried apples solution, you can also try eating a buttload of green apples right off the tree. When I was in 8th grade we had a few apple trees on the school property. One day me and two buddies spent recess eating as many green apples as we could hold. Within 1 hour, all of us shit our pants in class. It took a while to live that down.______
Here I sit, my cheeks a flexin', about to give birth to another Texan.

Look out for Number 1, but don't step in Number2

Mud Butters's picture
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Sounds like you got a tumor my friend, cancerous too i'm guessing. Have you a will and if so is it updated? Did you use a hamster or gerbil and he got stuck and you forgot? Use a hanger to probe, don't forget to wrap the end with tape so you don't poke yourself and you bleed to death or get gangrene.

spackle's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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You need to get serious help ASAP. You have had enemas, Fleet Phos, and that awful stuff you drink for a colonoscopy to no avail. I too dont want to scare you but if that shit doesnt work you are having problems a lot more serious then a fickle gut. To let this go on is seriously dangerous.

The Thunderous Crapper 63's picture
k 500+ points
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Yeah you are using all the industrial stuff and NOT taking industrial size shits. You should check yourself into a hospital and NOT come out til they determine the cause of this blockage.
_______
AHHHHHEMMMMMMMMMM JUST CLEARING MY THROAT!! ;)

AHHHHHEMMMMMMMMMM JUST CLEARING MY THROAT!! ;)

Squat-n-leaveit's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points
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The big question is constipation, or obstruction. If constipation, then the calls for fruit, fiber, water, Taco Bell. etc. are great. If obstruction, all those things are like a debris laden river at flood stage, slamming full force into a dam. The end result could be catastrophic.

bloody-stinktube's picture
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chief - while you are correct in that he doesnt specifically say 60 pounds of crap, he does say that in two months he gained 60 pounds, WHILE eating health food and exercising... he goes on to say that the doctor says there are five pounds of the brown family stuck at home, but where did the other 55 pounds come from? meanwhile the guy just continues to eat and get more backed up, while nothing comes out except some medicine that apparently is greasy enuf to slide through the twisted up intestines... i again submit that if there was that much colon butter stuck in there (60 pounds OR 5!!), then the OP would be well on his way to death, if not there already.

Deja Poo's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points
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Hugh wrote: "a buttload of green apples right off the tree"

It wasn't the apples that gave you the runs. It was the DDT that they were spraying on those bad boys in order to keep the smaller pests away.
_______
Yo quiero Taco Bell.

Yo quiero Taco Bell.

Nick L's picture
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I read through the posts and went and asked my Doctor about Hydro... the water therapy mentioned. He said it could work but I am going to get a second opinion since a Gastrointerologist would not even look at me till I was cleaned out and this is my 5th doctor visit with no positive results. So I am seeing my neighbor, Dr. John, who is the head surgeon of the ER at my local hospital, and have him look at my 3 Exrays (1 from the start of my problem, and 2 others made after attempting several treatments). He told me on the phone that if the blockage is still there (from my examination it is in the large intestine) he will have me admitted this week for what he called "SDCD" - "Some Deep Core Drilling" and if it is too hard or not capable of being removed this way to discuss options from there. However, he did say once the passageway was opened to see a Gastrointurologist after a few weeks to make sure that the intestine is operating smoothly, though I will most likely do checkups with the "Gastro" at the hospital but he recommended a hot woman "Gastro" who is great at what she does.

With the references about taking more water as well as eating diets Dr. John said to stay away from meats and dairy and to drink lots of Gatoraid and agreed on the idea of dried fruits till he has a chance to see me. He also said only go to the ER as soon as I can but to dail 911 if there is any pain at any time (so far no pain, just my stomach growling).

Thank you all for your input on my situation and I will keep you all updated as it guided me into asking the right questions on my 5th doctoral visit and making the calls needed.

(That and Dr. John could feel it by pressing on the sides of my stomach and showed me where, hard as rock. No explination yet on how this occured, but should find out in the next couple of weeks.)

NickL

Dildo Baggins's picture
l 100+ points
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_I guess that explains my premature balding, erectile dysfunction, and the 3 retarded children I sired.______
Here I sit, my cheeks a flexin', about to give birth to another Texan.

Look out for Number 1, but don't step in Number2

Geeky Goo's picture
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If you're suffering from severe constipation. then it would be wise to take a look at your diet and exercise routine. How much fiber do you have in your diet? Add more.

For the compaction that you are feeling now, It's hard to say what will help you. There are different colon cleansing products and laxatives that are formulated to help, but they do have numerous ingredients that can be bad for your intestines in the long run, so use with causion.

Have you ever heard of an oxygen product called Oxy-Powder? It's a cleansing product that is formulated to help those who suffer from IBS. You should look into taking something like that, because it can help provide you some relief, without the risk of herbal ingredients.

I don't know... at this point, you must be in some pain.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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I have had bouts of constipation (4-5 day backups) for about 6 months now. I tried lots of OTC meds and my GP, GI and chiropractor. I had the best luck with the chiropractor and Yogi Tea "Get Regular". The chiro's adjustments and lower ab massage got things moving and the tea knocked it out of the park. I take the tea twice a week now and see the chiro weekly. Good luck!

Anonymous Coward's picture
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I would suggest finding a local hospital, or a doctor's office
that has a PIE bowel therapy machine. It's different than a standard colonic, in that it pulses water into the colon, as well as pulsing water inside the colon while you hold it, to break up poop. There are studies, and testimonials on the PIe Medical site given above, describing how this procedure has been used to remove bowel impactions. Good luck.

ChiliKahKah's picture
j 1000+ points
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I suggest the math student solution, try working it out with a pencil.

regularly_irregular's picture
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I am glad your doctor is being proactive. There is one bit of his advice, however, that I would be careful about: Gatorade is a very high-calorie drink. "Healthy" products like this could be partially responsible for your weight gain. Try to find a low-cal electrolyte water instead, and keep drinking as much regular water as you can.
I don't know if it would help, considering that Glytely was ineffective for you, but you could also ask about taking Miralax (polyethylene glycol) on a daily basis. I have IBS with chronic constipation, and it's the only thing that works for me. I have also identified some of my trigger foods (like beef), and avoiding them has helped greatly.
I would watch the fiber for now. Switching from fiber supplements to Miralax may be more "productive" until you've got the blockage out. Note that the bottles of fiber supplement say "bulk-forming fiber." The last thing you need is more bulk. Once you're back on track, look for high-fiber foods like Kashi cereal to help your regularity; real food is always better than supplements.
Also check to see if your Dr. can refer you to an allergist for food allergy testing. Some food allergies can manifest as other health problems. Also, make sure that your gastro tests for things like Chrohn's disease and celiac disease.
Good luck! I think people underestimate how important regularity is to quality of life!

Raggedmama's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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Unfortunately the person who posted this question is definitely going to need surgery - if even the enema hasn't worked.
Hugh Jasshole, why was it called the green grenade. I've seen a lot of different coloured glycerine suppositories (white, clear and - in the UK - yellow) and a lot of different coloured dildoes, but never a green either.
I have experimented on myself with the "dildo as suppository inserter" and in my experience it slows the effect instead of speeding it up.

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points
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Gatorade isn't that high in calories compared to soft drinks. However, if you drink it and don't work out, it could be construed as empty calories.

Here's a webpage that compares some drinks and their caloric content...
Calorie King

And here is an article for anyone interested that mentions a low-calorie sports drink.
New York Times

I buy the Gatorade powder in the huge can and dilute it with double the water if I want any. It doesn't taste as good but it still does the job. (on a smaller note, if I drink any Gatorade with red food coloring, I barf.)

_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Poonanza's picture
l 100+ points
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I liked irregular's idea, getting an allergy test. You never know.

Gatorade isn't good for you, I don't like it. It's a supplemental fluid only, not a replacement. We've had guys pass out from dehydration from drinking tons of just gatorade in the desert. It doesn't agree with me anyway because it's too syrupy, it gives me the runs like when I drink a soda. Water, please :)

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
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Poonanza.......I share your opinion of Gatorade. When I am thirsty I much prefer a gin & tonic or a scotch & water.

Seriously, the two best thirst quenchers in the world are pure water or unsweetened tea.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Charles Linkowich's picture
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I have had this problem before and used a vibrator to massage my sphinter muscles. No kidding it really worked.

sticky poop's picture
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I so feel your pain, I too am stopped up. I have pooped the equivalent of pasting 6 toothbrushes (same size and consistency) in the past 5 weeks. I also have started a new healthy diet. I have added extra fiber and 4 litres of water a day in addition to other fluids. I have tried the enema with disappointing results. I went to my gastro doc yesterday and she said "more fiber, more water". Tomorrow I am trying a product called Pico-Salax. It is supposed to be better tasting than the fleet-phospho-soda and easier to take, gag reflex wise. You have to drink 8 oz water prior and then 8 oz every hour after until the "effects" wear off. Wish me luck I will let you know how it goes, if it does.

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
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sticky poop I'm very interested in how Pico-solax works for you. Tell me, is it a prescription?
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

ChiliKahKah's picture
j 1000+ points
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I suggest looking at the stock of General Motors, if that drop does not make you shit bricks, nothing will.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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Milk of Magnesia, drink it right out of the bottle.

Squat-n-leaveit's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points
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New drink recipe. 1 oz. Milk of magnesia, 1 oz vodka, 1 oz Kahlua. I call it a "White Russhing."

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
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Something that you seldom hear of today is using mineral oil for constipation. Cheap, easy to obtain, safe and very effective.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Anonymous Coward's picture
0
0

Too much is really too much! Drastic changes to your diet will do more harm then good. I should know. Recently started working and have no time to eat or exercise properly. After expeiancing the same prob. as mentioned here, I started implementing my old eating regimine. ( slowly) it is working. Of course adding lots more fiber is a good idea. Oh yeah and lots of prune JUICE stay away from apples and apple juice for a while it binds most people.: )

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
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AC.....I would not take a job that left me no time to eat properly, what kind of schedule do you have that doesn't leave you time for three squares per day? As to your remark about apples causing constipation you need to read this article
Apples are extremely good for you and have more of a laxative effect than a constipating effect on your bowels.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Anonymous Coward's picture
0
0

sounds like your just all full of shit!!!!

ChiliKahKah's picture
j 1000+ points
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Get a different doctor. Your present doc has shit for brains.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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Holy crap!! That much compacted poop probably wouldn't be loosened even by a hydrotherapy colonic. Ive had 5 done and it's suffering at its worst!!! Feels good afterwards tho when u release!! This dude would need 100 sessions!! Yikes!! Even then I think the water from the machine would spit right back out!!!

Anonymous Coward's picture
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Actually, for those of you who think a person would die or need serious help from a doctor after having not shit for a week or two, you are wrong. I have had a problem just like this for my entire life. My sophomore year of high school i would get stomach pains and then diarrhea due to constipation about every other week. therefore I only shit once every couple weeks and it was with the help of magnesium citrate. Then by my senior year it only happened once a month. yes, I only shit once a month and it was with the help of magnesium citrate. Then about a year after I graduated high school there was a point when it had been a whole month had gone by, I didn't have stomach pains or diarrhea which I thought was weird so I tried taking the magnesium citrate anyways, nothing happened. another month past and still nothing, I tried again to take the magnesium citrate, still nothing. A month later my stomach started to hurt pretty bad, I personally hate going to doctors and always refuse to go. my stomach hurt so bad and nothing would come out. I took 3 bottles of magnesium citrate and 2 enemas. Finally I started shitting really bad, however my intestines didn't feel right, I knew something wasn't right at all. I had my mom rush me to the ER. they didn't believe me that it had been 3 months since I had last shit. They said I would be dead by then, but they finally believed me when they took xrays and had to put me under to manually pull all the shit out of me. They said I was a miracle child. They scheduled me for a colonoscopy a few months later. When I woke up from that, they had the balls to tell me there was nothing wrong with me. i just have slow intestines so theres nothing they can do to help me. I just have to eat a lot of fiber and drink miralax every day.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
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AC, Next time you are all stopped up just go to a Hell's Angels' rally and start pushing their parked bikes over. I would be willing to wager that they will beat the shit out of you.

I personally find your story impossible to believe, if you went 90 days without shitting and continued eating, even a build-up of 6 ounces per day of crap in you intestines would give you a turd weight of 34 pounds. All the sources I have checked say that the human intestinal tract can hold 10 to 15 pounds of poop maximum, any more and your intestines would probably rupture.


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Dirty old men need love too!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Squat-n-leaveit's picture
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Ya know Chief, AC might be telling the truth. I've known people that live on a small lettuce leaf, a half cup of cottage cheese, and 137 ounces of Brazilian cocaine. Almost no poop.

Why would anybody say "This is good shit man!" when it does not produce any? Another reason not to do it!

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
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You might just be on to something there Squat. It doesn't come out unless it goes in. The three massive pinto bean burritos I had for supper last night, washed down with pale ale, probably had something to do with the commode full of molten lava my o-ring extruded this morning.

God, I love me some bean burritos!


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Dirty old men need love too!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Anonymous kid's picture
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I swallowed a needle and I need it out NOW it's too far to get with the scope (oral) and the doctors say it will pass how do I get it out RIGHT NOW?

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
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Dear Kid, Come on over, I am sharpening my surgical axes and saws and will be ready when you get here. Don't plan anything for later in the day,...or...er....tomorrow.....or later.


_______
Dirty old men need love too!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Squat-n-leaveit's picture
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How does one sterilize a McCulloch

slidthru's picture
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I HAVE HAD THE SAME ISSUE!! I have seen plenty of doctors and since I have no insurance they aren't much help, but I have found a temporary remedy. Get a box of dieters tea. It's a green box and its got Chinese writing on it. It has worked almost every time for me and I, like you, maybe go poop every 4 to 7 days. Just be sure to follow the directions on the box and know that you may get some cramping but it goes away rather quickly. Be sure to be somewhere that you are comfortable, cause once it kicks in, it kicks in! Good luck.

Helper's picture
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Try Fiber One Bars, they may help or not. Only eat ONE!!! (Please post this, I'm trying to help)

Anonymous's picture
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So, what was the verdict? I read through the page and never seen you reply.

Anonymous's picture
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Although your post is over three years old, I'm still going to post this response, since there seem to be hundreds of thousands of stopped up Americans out there. I used to have a similar problem, and after months of frustration, ran across a website: http://gutsense.org. It took dedication, and some sacrifice, but I am finally successful daily poops. It's safe, effective, and much less embarrassing than enemas.

Anonymous's picture
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Wow, finally I see someone out there like me, except I actually had a colonoscopy done. The doc just said that I will always have an extreme slow digestive system.

What's funny about it is that i'm active, I exercise daily, I drink lots of water because water and other foods and liquids that should help with bowl movements, but for me. Nope!