12-yr-old uncontrollable pants pooping

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Nicole F asks:

I work at a children's home. We have a 12yr old who will not stop pooping in his pants, mainly because he is too lazy to get up and go to the restroom. He will go all day with this in his pants. Despite the many lectures of how dangerous this is to him and others he just doesn't get it. Do you have any info on the dangers of this I could relay to him. I have been looking online for answers but cannot seem to find any!! Thanks





Nicole,

Thanks for the question!

Perhaps, just PERHAPS, a 12 year old living in a childrens home has some psychological issues that are impacting his toilet habits. It is usually far beyond me to take an issue seriously, but a 12 year old is NOT "too lazy" to go to the bathroom and just poop in his/her pants just for the hell of it. A pre-adolescent who does this has SERIOUS problems.

Psychological evaluation is in order, as is a concurrent bowel retraining program.

UPDATE 4/3/06 by Dave the Editor: The clinical term for this disorder is "encopresis." You should be able to find a lot of help if you google that term.

Please be advised that I am only a Poonurse. I am NOT a medical doctor. Any advice I give should be taken moderate skepticism. Please consult a REAL medical doctor if you feel you have a serious medical condition.

-- Poonurse

Poonurse is an RN with 25 years experience in labor and delivery. Her qualifications include seeing a lot of poop, and owning a computer. Also, she works in Michigan, which she calls the asshole of the universe, so that's another bit of credibility.

Got a question for her?












261 Comments on "12-yr-old uncontrollable pants pooping"

El Scumbag's picture
k 500+ points

I'm 37 and still shit my pants occasionally, although it's not been deliberate for quite some time. Usually it's a follow-through after farting too hard.

The last time I shat myself, I was standing up reading the magazines in the newsagents and felt the fart turn to liquid and run down my legs. I had to waddle to the public toilet two streets away, throw my underwear in the bin, wash the globules of oily shit off my trousers in the sink and dry them on that hot-air hand dryer. It took ages, and a guy came in while I was standing there naked from the waist down, trying to dry them. He didn't say a damn word, just went to the urinal, had a piss, washed his hands in the sink (the one I'd just been washing my trousers in), smiled at me and left.

Made me feel damn proud to be British.

EMMA's picture

well i have a little brother and he is 6 and he still poops his jocks and its anoying coz he doesent want to go in the shower and clean it off i dnt no how they can have that on their bum all day ands its gross coz everywere he sits it smells after he gets
P.S when will he ever grow up

justin247's picture

don't worry..chill i pooed myself in school often from 3 years too 19 years of age..was just too shy to ask so filled my pants and sat in it, going red in the face...after ton's of embaressment, you get used too it..i love wearing adult attends now and often just poo myself in public, buses, mackies etc..the best

Logjam's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

And to think that some say that America's best days are behind her!

Logjam

Anonymous Coward's picture

im 24 i shit my pants

Concerned Mom's picture

My daughter is 8.5 yrs old and she started pooping her pants at her dads. ( We split when she was 6mos old, so she can never recall us being together and the fact we live at different houses is how it's been all her life. We both got remarried when she was 2.) She started doing this a year ago. And has had periods of time where she does it for 2 wks then stops for 3 mos. She has never done it at my house or school. And her step-mom has always been very sweet and loving to her, she says she's always nice. So I don't understand why she only does it at her dads house.

ahau oxlahun's picture

my son is 6 years old and seems like a perfectly intelligent kid. he has been having problems at school, mainly he doesnt seem interested at all but he is very intelligent. he understands the subject matter and scores very well on tests but is simply not very interested in participating.

lately he has beeen pooping his pants. he goes to the bathroom regularly but will sometimes stain his underwear.

i have to constantly ask him to go sit for a while and try to poop, but when he is at school i have no way of supervising him.

i am a single father, his mother sees him on weekends and my son seems well adjusted to the mothers boyfriend and kids.

i ask him why he does it... same answer. i dont know.

ive tried being understanding, ive tried being angry, ive tried teasing him, ive tried reasoning with him. he just keeps doing it.

lately i have him wash his underwear and shower when he poops at school. i am with him all day apart from the time he is at school.

i will probably buy him a game boy to play whenever he has to go sit on the toilet just to give him something positive to look foreward to.

i am reluctant to take him to a psychologist because i feel he is a normal boy with a normal situation and simply needs patience and understanding.

also i am reluctant to take him to a doctor as he is very regular, he goes maybe 3 times per day, sometimes twice.

the problem is his mother wants to get aggressive with this problem and thinks that by snapping her fingers it will all go away.

she wants to take him to see a psychologist to find out why he is doing this but i think that i simply need to be more flexible with him and allow him to do this without the stigma that i have been putting on him.

i will ask him if he wants kids to poke fun at him, when they smell him. i will sometimes get mad and ask him why he keeps doing this... what? again? i dont look very happy and he is bright enough to pick up on this.

anyways, i was looking for answers and what found is that there are no clear answers. my son is a very hyperactive fun loving kid, hes very intelligent and this is baffling me.

i am glad for this thread as i have been able to realize that i am not alone and that the best policy seems to be to practice understanding and acceptance, as well as patience.

it can be very frustrating but i guess i will try to give him rewards as well as spend more time with him.

he is taking gymnastics so i guess that will have to suffer for a while.

our schedule is very busy we have no time at all for fun stuff.

but i guess the price of having a well balanced kid is to make some sacrifices.

thanks for all of the replies. a few of you would do well to refrain from making silly comments but oh well, i guess its hard to hide stupidity and ignorance.

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

Please read my email.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Maitee's picture

Just to say goodluck to all parents whose kids poop themselves. I have an 8 year ols with the same prblem. I have not taken hom to a doctor but i think i will after reading posted comments on this site. However, i still feel so angry and disappointed with my son because he does not seem to show any remorse at all. He has poop odour all the time, his hands smell poop, his clothes and the worst thing is he hides pants and trousers that eh has messed up. He shares a bathroom with his younger brother but the place is always messed up, from the toilet to the hand basin to the floor mats where he throwas his poop deposits when washing or changing, its pathetc and i am at my wits end, he is my first child so imagine the disappointment. I have even asked God why out of frustration and he dosent seem worried and even makes fun of it with our maid, in my absence. When you ask him why, he will not say a word but just look at you. I have tried spanking too but no luck at all. PLEASE HELP.

Whatthe?'s picture

I am aghast at some of the comments made here..

Has anyone suggested Fecal Incontinence as a possible reason?
My son (now almost 14) has had problems with soiling since he was a baby. Not once have we made an issue out of it..It took 12 years to find out the answer as to why he kept on soiling and guess what, he wasn't doing it to get attention and he wasn't doing it because he was lazy, he had a REAL medical problem.
Lots of Dr's, teachers, school nurses said it was overflow..A Dr(Psych)ACTUALLY took notice of us and sent son to see another Dr. The Dr did an x-ray on sons tummy, he immediately found that our son was totally backed up and that without help our son would always be like this as his muscles had got used to the feeling, they were stretched and he was unable to empty his bowel completely, the Dr gave our son strong anti-constipation meds and a regime to follow, within months our son had stopped soiling and had regained muscle control.
Before all this our son was left in his poop by school (they said they couldn't help him as they didn't want to get in trouble).
Our sons confidence dipped, but like I said WE never made him feel like it was his fault. Please get help for children who have this problem it can be sorted.Don't make your children feel any worse than they are doing..thats when you get the behaviour issues and denial.

Tee Tee Dookied her Pants's picture

I had a 12 year old foster child who pooped her
pants all of the time mainly for attention .
We spoke with her social worker about this .
She was then later hospitalized and then she pooped all over the bathroom floor at the hosptial, because she got mad at one of the nurses.
What a real delight she was.

Perhaps a butt plug would work

????'s picture

well im a kid that holds my poop i feel bad for this kid :( needs to atleast try!!!!!!i HATE to go in oublic bathrooms (i usally only go to school) and i under stand the kid!he isnt to lazy for school cause theyre are "wierd people" in the bathrroms ive pee in stalls since a little kid since i had ppl laugh at me :(....i have now tryied to over ocme and i am getting better!i use ro hold it for 2 weeks!!!!it hurt my insides but now i usally go no more then 3 days most items..i know its bad but hey 2 weeks c,mon! i betcha the kid weighs alot to cause im a kid hes age (will be a teen in lat november 2008)and 2 eyars ago i was over wight weighing 145 then in summer 2008 i wnet to 155!!!!!i joined cross country and started pooping more often and now wiehg 125 :) incoage the kid!!!!IF U DONT THEY STICK A VACHUM HOSE UP YOUR BUTT NAD CLEAN YUOR ORGANS!!!ITS HAPPEND TO MY ANT WHEN SHE WAS LITTLE...BUT I BET ITS CHANGHED SINE THE 60,S :p

Artful Dodger's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorl 100+ points

How about a nice, old fashioned ass whipping?

AJ's picture

Hi I also have a 8year old that wont stop pooping in his pants,I have no idea why he is doing it but its been going on for the last 2year and im sick of it,I have a 2year old and a 1year old and im worried that when my 8year old poops in his pants and it falls out onto the floor that one of my babies will pick it up and eat it,ive told my son that its grose and dangerous for the little ones but he just doesn't get it,i've been to the doctors and they have said too me that its just a attention thing but for 2years??can some one please help]
THANX

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

sis, you have to remember that Poopreport is a website dedicated to poop humor, so there are always going to be replies made in jest. We know this is a touchy topic.

If your sister is seven and a half years old and still pooping her pants - even though she's put on the toilet every half hour - it sounds like she's doing so on purpose. She may feel control over the rest of the family, she may have a mental problem. It's really hard to say with such a small amount of information. Has you mother or father taken her to see a doctor? This should be done first to make sure that I'm not wrong, that there is something physically wrong with her. After that, if the doctor says "no trouble here", then one of the best things your parents can do is to make her responsible for her own mess. When kids have to deal with their own soiling, sometimes it stops. Look at it this way - if she's pooping her pants, and then she gets cleaned up and someone else rinses out her underwear, and there's no restrictions, she really has very little reason to stop.

Although this is a risky suggestion to make (because remember, we don't really know why she's doing it yet), talking to your mom about this type of action might help. If sister has to rinse out her own undies, clean herself up on her own, and it's done in a manner that she owns her mess, it might be all that's needed. If she's doing this for attention, ask her if she feels ignored. Maybe if someone listened to her or played games with her, she'd feel better about herself and wouldn't go to extremes to get attention.

Whatever. First and foremost, try to get your mom to get her to a doctor. I know this is frustrating for you. Good luck.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

worried sister's picture

i have a 7 and a half year old sister and she still poops her pants. first off let me start by saying to al you guys making fun of this and thinking its all a joke you guys are ass holes && cowards!!!! its not a joking matter at all, its a serious issue! back to the subject we have her on the tolite about every half hour and it still happens..and i dont kno why and im concerned if any one knows of some thing to help please let me know

turd turdgutson's picture
l 100+ points

Duct tape the (not so little) bastard's ass shut until the buildup of poo in his colon reaches a critical level, and then offer to take it off once he plants his nasty ass firmly on a toilet seat.

_______
"...human shit has more of an almond, or perhaps a macadamia flavor to it. I hope you will all take my advice and really consider tasting your poop some time, as I have. It's really quite an experience." - Ratz

"You will spray oil when you fart. You will have diarrhea. You will be shitting constantly and you will lose control of your bowels." - Mr. Angry on alli

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

To the AC above the 3 year old, I find it fucking sad that you can't spell as well as 12 year old, or even a 3 year old.
_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

3 year old kid's picture

I big boy i poop in my pants no more daddy type this and he help me but i follow through alot.

Anonymous Coward's picture

I think its fuking hillariose that he shits his pants at 12 years old.

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

The first time I heard the comment "Don't knock it until you've tried it" was 40 years ago while teaching college. The kid who said it was obviously stoned on weed, and a classmate told him how stupid it was to come to class thus impaired. My reaction at the time was, "I've never tried death by atomic explosion either, but I know enough to avoid it if possible." As for Knux, I obviously can't stop you from indulging your habit; however, pants-pooping has enough obvious and rational objections that I certainly never hope to follow your example. Sharting (very rare for me) is bad enough, and cleanup with toilet paper after a normal sit-down bowel movement is trouble enough. I simply cannot imagine how awful it would be to have to clean up my clothes and myself after pooping my pants. No, I haven't tried it, but I don't need to.

Knux the Fox's picture

I'm 23 now, but when I was 8, I refused to poop on the toilet. I held it for over a week, which looking back is incredible! One night at my babysitter's friend's apartment, I lost the fight and ended up pooping myself. It was awful. I felt really bad. I lost my yellow snowsuit because of it, since my mom thought it was too small and I had an accident because I couldn't get out of it. Ever since, I would find ways to make using the toilet more interesting. But, now I'm a babyfur. Heh. I rarely poop in a diaper, though. But when I can, it feels good. Don't knock it til ya try it. I'm probably going to get "lame comment" due to that last part, but I'm really just trying to explain a similar instance. If you wanna dis me, go ahead. I don't give a poop!

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Your mom has two names, one is male, you shit in paint twice a day and your a 17 yr old ugly bitch fucker....sounds to me like you got the world by a string, buddy, you don't need any help.
_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

trent corbet's picture

i am 17 and i shit my paints all the time like twice a day and definantly at partys when i realy get fucked up and when im having sex can any one help me give me some info my name is trent corbet my mom is jonny palmer my mom is lara palmer and i love hores and ugly bitches does anyone know my mom

Anonymous Coward's picture

you have absolutely too much time on your hands........

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

I don't know why my comment in here was deleted. It was not meant to be offensive. It was meant to discuss how deep-seated some of these problems can get.

_______
Born right the first time.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

tanya bettingfeild's picture

My son is 7 and potty trained and he was always going to the bathroom then all of a sudden he started pooping his pants. He was perfectly fine and he never pees his pants only poops.I wanna know why but he just says "I didn't mean to it just came out", then he leaves it in there all day till we tell him to take a shower or get his pajamas on. Help me????????

misty summers's picture

yes my husband poops his pants daliy he has to ware adult diapers for bladder probs at night but now he has started to mess in his pants all the time he also has altisam an ADHD any at vice thanks ps. husband is 30yrold

baron von crapalot's picture
k 500+ points


Try inserting one of those reusable wine stoppers. The type that expand when a lever is depressed, (one size fits all, so to speak). As for the peeing, I found a jumbo sized bulldog clip very effective.

_______
like a constipated accountant- I worked it out with a pencil.

I hope to god I've just sat in a Shepard's pie.

Turning into A Wicked Stepmon if the pooping doesnt stop's picture

My stepson is almost 13yrs old, he is still pooping his pants, I am almost leaving my husband over this, because he continues to make excuses for him, I am concerned that there is something seriously wrong with him, when I tried to talk to my stepson about it, he said that he cannot feel it? He is a computer/video game geek and his father allows him to sit on the comp or video game all day if he wants. I suspect that this has something to do with as it happens most when he is on the comp or video game. The shit this kid produces dark and hard shit and I am sick of being the one finding these pieces of shit all over the house please help!!

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

I'm pretty sure Jesus cheated at cards

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

Stepmom, your husband is most likely a great deal of the problem. The son is showing a resentment of you and a desire to be back with his real mother, and your husband is being a total douche about it. His need to deny what's going on is only going to make the matters worse.

You are dealing with a young man who's going to get stronger and more angry as the years go by, and he's surrounded by people in denial who have stuffed him into one of the worst places a troubled child can be - a private school. The fact that's it's bible-based only makes it worse.

My advice is to tell the school counselor that the kid has shown tendencies towards animal abuse and that he needs to be evaluated. If he or she doesn't turn this over to CPS, it's up to you. The family is more concerned with appearances than helping this kid.

Sociopaths start with animals, too, by the way.

Listen, I sense you feel trapped, and I hope you get over this, because you're the only person who can help this kid. It's not fair, and it's not right, but it is what it is. Get CPS involved, and expect your husband to resent you. But you have to ask yourself the hard question - are you going to follow suit and pretend nothing's going on and/or ignore the issue? Can you be bullied and live with yourself?

Please consider these questions, and then remember one last thing. These people are sending a kid to a christian school. Jesus is the base of their teachings, his love, kindness, and compassion. Not a single person in your husband's family is reacting in the way Jesus would. This alone should give you the courage to get this kid help. You are right in being concerned, but this is beyond your ability to help. Get people involved.

My sincere prayers are with you.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Exorcism... your step son is a vessel for the devil.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

Nurse step-mom's picture

My husband has a 14 yr old son that repeatedly poops his pants then denies he has done it. Says he had loose stool. Well the fecal matter is formed when found in his underwear. He NEVER wipes himself and we have had several stand out problems in the past. The first one being that he had peed in a bottle and then hid it under the bathroom sink. He denied doing that as well. The next is I had found a pair of womens underwear full of poop in his underwear drawer. The underwear was his mothers that he goes to visit with every other weekend. He denied that one with the help of his grandmother saying she had actually found them in the laundry when I had found them earlier in his drawer. And the last episode is when I found a pair of womens underwear under the bathroom sink and they were a pair of my underwear full of poop!! I can not tell you the sick feeling that I got in my stomach when I found them! My husband grounded him and took away his playstation 3 for 2 wks and told him he had to pay me back for ruining my underwear. My husband got upset when I tried to talk about why this has happened. He said his son told him that he did it because he was mad at me. This is just not acceptable to me. I still feel sick thinking about. Angry too. I think the boy needs to be seen by someone and I am not sure what to do because my husband does not want to talk about it. I can't take him to someone without his Dad finding out because his son would tell his father. The grandmother knows he poops his pants and yells and screams at him at times when she finds them and she makes him clean out his underwear. I heard them this morning and he told her to "SHUT UP". His father is very strict with him and will be mad when he finds out he told his grandmother to shut up. The boy is also a continual liar. He lies about everything and makes up stories as well. He goes to a christian private school and can spout out any Bible verse you want. He often talks about killing things. His grandfather passed away going on 2 yrs now ( which upset the boy very much) and the grandfather told me one time that the boy should not have any guns or knives because he may one day kill someone. Well that scared me. The boy is very obsessed with his mother that he goes to visits with. She is blind or stupid to his problems. She has her own issues and I think just doesn't care. I Love my husband VERY Much so leaving him IS NOT A SOLUTION. Any suggestions?

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

Thank you Dameon for sharing that. I'm glad that you're better now.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Dameon's picture

I speak from personal experience, I pooped my pants until the age of 15. I dare tell no one in real life because they would never understand. The doctors said I had psychological problems and it was because of my father leaving at a young age that I was persisting in this habit. But it was not so at all, I knew this to be true and the doctors forced mental problems on me. Insisting I had them when in actuality I did not. A psycho evaluation is not in order here. He very likely has the same problem that I had. It is called Chronic Constipation. I had a blockage in my intestines for so long, and I would retain fecal matter because it felt painful to poop. When a person has a blockage of this sort of problem you get "leakage" and it seeps out around the mass and into your pants. You don't know you have pooped your pants until its to late and you smell like crap. I began retaining this poop as long as I could and I ended up expanding my intestines according to the doctors "to the size of a 9 months pregnant womens intestines". Having to see so many psychiatrists my entire life at a young age actualy gave me many mental problems, I began to tune the entire world out. I began experiencing symptoms of deppression and was diagnosed as having ADHD and having a Bipolar disorder. I no longer experience any psychological problems from a massive psychedelic trip I had at the age of 17. I was able after such a horrible existence to defecate giant turds, some in the area of 18-22" long and of a huge diameter. Usualy resembling logs in the crapper. To cure his problem, he needs one heeping salad every day, one meal of just fruits, and one of proteins mainly at dinner along with a 4-5 colonic therapy program. My problem is no longer, and I am able to live a normal life for the last three years of my life. I am now 18, and I corrected this problem at 15 when I had the intelligence to do so and realize what was wrong when the doctors just proclaimed I needed a better psychiatrist all the time. Thank you, this is usualy the problem with child defecation problems, it is more common than many think.

Anonymous Coward's picture

I agree with Dave, the editor. Having dealt with this issue within the family, I can that it's likely this boy probably has encopresis; a bowel and emotional disorder. Sometimes, encopresis is linked to a developmental disorder-on the autism spectrum disorder or otherwise. Having the boy evaluated by a professional is the only way to know for sure, so check it out.

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

What you're doing for your kid is great. We used a jar full of M and M's. When Thing One or Two went to the potty, they got a few candies. And since Dad read books, Thing One knew to take books to the potty anyway. We didn't have to tell him.

However, this 12 year old most likely had some real mental issues to be crapping himself at that age. I doubt a gameboy would be the cure to what was ailing him. Not that I don't like your style......encouraging a kid to poop in the potty is not only hard sometimes, but it's frustrating. You are doing a good job.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

light bulb's picture

OMG, a revelation just happened for me and my husband. First off though, let me tell you our situation and why I am viewing this page. I have a 4 yr old whom sometimes pees his pants, but mostly poops his pants. I had a hard time potty training him because of my sleeping disorder, so he didn't get trained until 3 yrs old. I had a baby a few months later and after a month my first born was back in diapers. Understandable, he was jealous, and is still extremely jealous. Anyhow, we have almost got him trained again, but he still manages to poop in his pants several times a week. He does go in the toilet too about as much as he does in his pants. I think it's just a matter of him not wanting to stop watching his toons or playing with his toys to go poo. He knows when he does it. He can feel it. Sometimes he actually goes and hides in another room to do it. So I guess it's not always about not wanting to leave playing/watching. WELL, back to the REVELATION: I as an adult when I go poo, sometimes I like to play a game or read while going. It gets boring on the can right! Well, we have decided to tell Brandon, that we know why he poos in his pants it's because he doesn't have a game to play with on the potty. Now he gets to play with his toys or whatever in the bathroom. I bet if those 12 yr olds had a gameboy to use ONLY while on the toilet, they would have a positive incentive to put that shit where it belongs. Who's with me? Or who has tried this already and with what results?

Duckyhunter's picture

i pooped my pants unlit i was 13 it was kinda fun when i was walking or at a friends house because they always wondered wat the shit smell was. i think its normal, it was never the lazy part for me just begin a jerk

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

It's time to address the principal and the superintendent, and suggest the bully program at your school. Check the internet for programs implemented across the country that are based on education, contract-signing, and education about bullying and persecution.

If the school officials won't do anything, and you have to pull your son out of school, your son will be replaced by some of other poor kid. You'll have to decide if you can live with that. Even if your child ends up in a better place, sometime in the future you will wonder about who these kids are teasing next. Good luck. Remember, these bullies most likely won't be so proud of their actions once they are identified and have to explain to the parents that they've been enjoying hurting a kid in the bathroom.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Frustrated Dad's picture

What Brittney's Mom reported in her 4/5/07 posting is going on a lot. My son, also 12 and in his first year of junior high, is a victim of such harassment. He's just about ready to take the "safe" route and that is to give in and shit his pants rather than sit himself down for the humiliation that goes on in those school bathrooms.

First, most--if not all--the stalls on his floor are doorless. He's socially awkward and as a result seems to attract attention when he's on the shitter. He's also been known to start crying when too many boys are watching him, making fart noises and threatening to with an emergency open up and pee or shit on him.

Second, I've e-mailed and called his counselor who is a concerned young woman BUT she says there is little that can be done unless afaculty member comes in and actually sees it happen. Trevor's described the boys who are doing it, but they trade off turns, and he's not sure of their names.

Third, because he's been "marked" for ridicule by this group, it doesn't matter whether he's on the stool during a class, between classes or on his lunch break, at least one of the boys seems to just show up and want to show off.

Like Brittney's Mom, I want my son to build confidence in himself and the use of public bathrooms, not continually subject himself to taunts and other actions, that he says, sometimes imply that he's gay.

Sure he initially made some mistakes such as pulling his jeans and underwear all the way down to the floor and forgetting to check first for toilet paper, but he sure doesn't deserve the humiliation. If things don't get better for him, I'm taking him out of public school and enrolling him in a parochial academy.

shit tzu's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Perhaps this child simply enjoys pooping his pants for the attention it gets him from adults. For some disturbed children, negative attention is better than no attention at all.

Anonymous Coward's picture

AC, I read all your comments, and you were just like me.

John222's picture

I did this when I was 8-12, when I was ''Potty-Trained'' I never had this problem until I was 8 years old. It might of been that I stayed on the computer alot, or that I just ate unhealthily. Whatever you do... DON'T TAKE LAXITIVES.

Anonymous Coward's picture

rediculus (not verified) -- 02.16.2007

its rediculus how people punish there kids for going in there pants. they might have a serious problem and the parents just don't care.

ok for one i do not aggree totally about what you said i have a step son we have taken him to doctors in as many fields as we can and they all say he is fine that it may be something he just has to go through there is no sexuall abuse no mental abuse. no physical problems he just wants to. i am around him all of the time and watch him like a hawk i do not drink around him. and have tried every thing possable i am about to put him in dipers becase the spanking does not work, talking with him doesen't, keeping his stuff away doesn't he has been to 6 diffrent Psychiatrist and they all say the same thing no problem just a thing he has to go through..this is from his mom not caring what he does over there so now i am stuck dealing with her mess becase she will not deal with it on her own, and doesn't care if it gets delt with all she cares about it that child support check but we cant take custody becase she does not physically abuse him. (how nice) sometimes i think in todays world the doctors and teachers and alot of the parents are the problem. alot of them think that to have a more productive chiled you have to let them get away with this that and the other then they think they are allowed to get away with it all it is not right as a parent to have to go through it and alot of the problems i see with him are things he picks up at his real moms house becase she thinks that becase of are other 2 children she has to give him more stuff to make him feel special "this is one of the other problems with her if she doesn't care she tries to much and you just can't do that" and point blank he is spoiled and that is what i see wrong with alot of other kids today. law says you can't punish you chiled in alot of ways.. i think alot of kids would turn up better because of a good swift kick in the but. the way i was raised i had a loving home strait A's in school except math that was a hard subject and my mom helped me with it . but if i did any thing that i knew was bad i knew i was to pay the piper. that was how it was i am not depressed becase of it i do not have issues of becomming a baby again and to be frank any one who is laying in a crib trying to feed there emotional needs again is part of this new age of not doing what you need to do with your kids to ensure they turn out right..
what i am talking about
IT is called tough LOVE you love your kids with all your heart and make sure that they know you do but when it comes down to the acting out and doing the things that are bad that is them saying i want to see how far i can upset you or how can i get mommy and daddy to talk more if i do something bad they will talk more.. and yes sometimes it is just the shear fact they don't get enof attention and then that is sad it is the mother and fathers place to be a part of there kids lives and if they aren't are they don't have the time then they should have never been parents.. we ehave moved 6 times in 1 year and i have always been home for my kids no matter how many money troubles we have i do not let it affect my ties with my kids. why should i let the economy affect my time with them they don't need to be bought happy meals, or passes into amusement parks to be happy just being with your family playing a game of monopoly yatsy or a movie night is just as good. and yes i do know some kids do have medical reasons and to those i am not aming this towards you.. but as far as add adhd why don't you look at the intake of candy and soda or any types of sweets even at school back in the day kids had wholesome meals and there were alot less cases of kids acting out like idiots.. sorry to have offended any one but this is what i see on a daliy basis from my baby sitting... as for that these are just personal opinion and should not be taken as medical advise but sometimes i feel like the doctors are as wrong as alot of other ppl they want your money and alot of times don't care what happens to your kids so take it as you see it complain about me if you want or read it and see what so many do not...

Hamster's picture
k 500+ points

AC - your advice is, of course, very sound - let us hope it is taken.

I assume that better diet was the solution to your problem?

Anonymous Coward's picture

I pooped in my pants til I was a teenager. It REALLY hurt to go, and I always clogged the toilet, and I'm a girl so was really embarrassed about the whole manner. Anyway, now I'm in my 20's successful and normal. Give the kid a break and take him to a counselor or someone who will have a frank, unembarrassing talk with him and not blame him.

Anonymous Coward's picture

Is the kid's name Shi-thead?

Deja Poo's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

The kid needs help. Get to a Pediatrician, a Pediatric Gastrointerologist and a Pediatric Psychiatrist.
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