periods and pooing

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j 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb
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The Shit Volcano asks:

Here's strictly a girl question. My poo is normally well-behaved (except when I get a million wiper), and comes out just like it's supposed to without a problem... until that time of the month.

During my period the poo is soft and squishy. It gets all over my asscheeks. I always feel like I have to take a shit even when it's all come out. That, and I have really bad gas.

Is this common? Either way, WHAT THE HELL CAN I DO ABOUT IT?!?!?!?! It's driving me crazy!





Hello again, and thanks for this intriguing (if somewhat gross) question!

I suppose a total hysterectomy is out of the question.

Short of that drastic solution, I have to conclude that some of the evil demons who bring us our monthly periods have taken up residency in your colon. It apparently isn't enough to bring us ladies cramps, bleeding, clots, and to make us waste money on expensive paper products. The demons of monthly carnage are simply bored in your girlie innards and are yucking it up in your colon. What better fun than turning your poo all shmeary and making you fart a lot?

An exorcism is probably your best bet. Approach your local priest with this problem (and don't be embarrassed -- they get this ALL the time) and arrange a suitable time/place to do it. And take pictures for Dave.

(If you were by any chance looking for a serious answer to this question, I can only tell you that I have no idea why this happens. I will make the usual cop-out and blame it on hormones, and tell you to just start drinking a lot the week before your period is due. That always works for me.

Please be advised that I am only a Poonurse. I am NOT a medical doctor. Any advice I give should be taken moderate skepticism. Please consult a REAL medical doctor if you feel you have a serious medical condition.

-- Poonurse

Poonurse is an RN with 25 years experience in labor and delivery. Her qualifications include seeing a lot of poop, and owning a computer. Also, she works in Michigan, which she calls the asshole of the universe, so that's another bit of credibility.

Got a question for her?












182 Comments on "periods and pooing"

Anonymous's picture

Having my period poop moments were the only time I could out-fart my dad and have him cop the blame. I, for one, don't mind having to poop so often as I find it relieves the cramping once I have expelled that shit.
Nice to know I'm not alone, though!

Anonymous's picture

I thought I was the only one. My poop begins the day of my period and continues to be regular until 5 days later.

HOW DO WE STOP IT?

Anonymous's picture

Try living in a house with 3 teenage sons and my hubby! In my house my period days are called mass gas time and party poop time.. Not fun times, while my stomach does the mini party explosives, I stay away from the men in my household, my boys have learned fast mass gas time is not a time to mess with mama.

Anonymous's picture

Thank you for bringing this issue into the light. It's vile and foul what happens to our innards during this time of month. Basically my bowels have felt like a whirring tumble dryer these last 3 days and keep emitting these gross farts. They feel really hot too, just like how clothes come out of tumble dryers heated, did anyone notice that? It sure is hell fire in there.

Anonymous's picture

Daphne,

I'm a 40 year old guy and chocolate also make me poop. After having a Mars bar I normally feel the urge. My wife poops when she eats onions. do you have any foods that make you go.

Dave P

Anonymous's picture

Which came first, the problem or the solution? Luckily it doesn't matter.

Anonymous's picture

I have colon demons, too
My poop sucks when my crotch bleeds

Anonymous's picture

any other otc prostaglandin-inhibitors? Im allergic to ibuprofen ie motrin :/ aleve and tylenol do nothing

22 non-stop (im not a baby maker) yrs of this im over it, Id love em to take it all out been asking since my 20's but apparently docs know what i want more than I do. they wont take it out and they wont give me rx to help.
if only my moms ob woulda been right Id be a maxwell and blissfully ignorant about all this poo

poopie_x's picture

I just came across this page. I thought I was abnormal till now. Period poo is a bummer.

irritating_bowels's picture

Me and my roommates experience this and it's horrible. Since we all deal with this demon I figured it was normal, I was just curious as to why it happens. Thanks for giving me some explanations!

Anonymous gal's picture

aaaarg am going thru this right now! Its 2am woken up by crampy menses and a need to poo yuck....wish i was a man for the next 5 days.

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

My farts tend to be a bit bacony and definitely toasty.

Anonymous me's picture

I'm on my period and getting eggy farts, anyone else get this?

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

I've heard of pissing your pants while laughing TT, but this is a new one. Have you called the Guinness people yet?

TitteringTurds's picture

Once my brother brother made me laugh right before my period was going to start, no pad on, and those poop devils made me crap in my drawers. My brother nearly crapped his drawers laughing after he learned how my bowels reacted to his comical story.
Demonic influence not appreciated.

pain in the...back?'s picture

I get back pain in my lower back which I know is normal. my question is why when I poop does it hurt so much more in my back and the area I'm guessing my uterus is around? I pass it off to a combination of everything that is period, but I want to know if I'm the only one that gets this intolerable pain. It doubles my time in the bathroom as it hurts to much to try to go.

Anxious_girlie's picture

For about 1-3 days into my period i get really mushy, torn at the edges poop. Don't usually poop more than usual though. This normal? I suffer from IBS normally, so yeah.

the thin brown line's picture
j 1000+ points

Facepalm...may a hunchbacked hammertoed clown eat you while you sleep.

Somethin' mysterious made an exit from the gift shop.

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

Ah yes, but at least we know how to spell fucking retarded.

facepalm's picture

i face palmed so hard when i read this you guys are fucking retarted

newlywed's picture

Sooo, no one has mentioned how to bring the topic up to your new husband...LOL btw baby-i get the shits worse then yours when I get my period, sorry...the look on his face-YIKES. I just hop in the tub for a hot bath after my daily period poo, I get nasty poo feelings all day but only let em wreck the toilet at one time with multiple flushing lmao also I'm in the home healthcare field and I'd rather not bring period demons into their household bathroom lol embarrassing!!

0000000000000000's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Lovely things, periods. I wish I could go back to when I was 14 and I had just experienced menarche. My menses were virtually painless, light, and easy to deal with for about eight months. And then, BOOM! I become the victim of leakage in the middle of Spanish class, and spent the rest of the day with a sweatshirt around my waist. What's even worse is the nurse wasn't in, and the only person I found in the hall was a male friend of mine, who grudgingly obliged when I frantically asked him to check the back of my pants. I have never seen such a look of horror.

But anyway...periods and pooing. I generally end up with some kind of IBS thing. Sometime within the week before my period begins, I have diarrhea, normally only once, and almost always in the afternoon for some unknown reason. Then, after my period starts, I am fairly constipated for its duration. Plus, I suffer from unbelievable cramps for the first few days ever since that fateful day when my period turned into Niagara Falls. In fact, when I was still in school, I always stayed home on the first day because I hadn't yet discovered any pain medication that alleviated the horrible stabbing sensation that rolled through my lower abdomen, hips, and back. A heating pad set on vibrate helped a bit, but most of the time, I simply laid on my back, staring at the ceiling and praying for death.

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

ROADKILL FARTS?
MILLION WIPERS?
FORTY HOUR SHITS?
HORRIFIC INTESTINAL NOISES?

HI, BILLY MAYS HERE FOR "THE PERIOD PLUG"
IT'S WHAT YOU'RE NEEDIN' TO STOP THE BLEEDIN'

Anonymous Coward's picture

It's all entirely normal, and I only wish there were a pill to make it quit, for just an hour! For a week, I've had roadkill farts and been alternating between whole-roll-of-toilet-paper poops and hard poops that take forty hours to come out, in addition to the stupid headache, backache, grumpy, overemotional, hungry but feeling sick so I won't eat nonsense I go through every month. I was sitting in class the other day and my intestines were making horrific noises. I was sure the professor was going to stop lecturing and ask who in the hell had a frog in their shorts.

Farting Problems's picture

When i started my 1st period (may )
things changed.
i fart alot, like every mins, ppl think i farted. i even smell like fart all day.
THIS HAPPENDS EVERYDAY ! D:< ITS BEEN 1 YEAR THIS HAPPEND. CAN SOMEONE HELP ME AND TELL ME WTF IS GOING ON AND HOW DO I STOP IT!? IT MAKES ME SAD AND EVERYBODY HATES ME CUZ I STINK :(
FML.

Bra Burner.'s picture

Umm, yah, it hurts like I'm shitting a knife. I don't get the gas that you speak of. . .but now that I said I don't, I will probably get it for sure.
I think I'm just going to have my uterus taken out? Like, just get all my internal female parts scooped out like the inside of a pumpkin. I think that would solve a lot of the problems.
Sometimes I wish I was a man, so my only problem was how to hide my boner in public, or at least find a bathroom where I could go to get rid of it. I would so love to see a man who could handle cravings, zits, cramps, weight gain, blood spewing from his crotch, poop problems, wasting money on diaper-like "feminine sanitary napkins", and strategically planning his underwear (and outfit) for a week every month. Oh, and having to carry on with life as though he's not living through an internal inferno of hell.
Ahhhh. Sugar and spice, right?

S.O. thanks's picture

I love that we live in a technological world. Like many people have said, we normally would not think to ask. Why am I pooping more when I am on my Period? A couple of days before I started this month I was talking to my Grandma and she say's I don't understand these have a happy period commercials. Grandma is right.. that time of the month I just want to lay around in my sweatpants... one being its easier when you gotta go. I always blame my period issues on my mom.. she always had the worst.. I never really had a problem till I turned 22 and was working all the time.. the running to the bathroom was happening every 30 min to an hour.. I always wanted to call in dead.. The number one thing I crave right before is salsa.. crazy... I always want salty not chocolate.. till this time I wanted both.. I say its Hormones.. and most of my friends are pastors so maybe I will ask them what they think of Demons as the cause of our womanly problems.. DAMM EVE..

PoopHappens's picture

How can something so awful also be so funny? My Mom always said it's better to laugh than cry, so I guess that's it!

Minty!'s picture

Ok ladies,for those of you with the nose hair curling monthly butt winds try chlorophyll pills about a week before the foul beast takes up residence. Now this is not a cure,you will still fart just wont smell like Walmart in July. Ohhhh and it does turn your poo a nice jolly green, no biggie especially if you are cramping and evil green poo is really, really no biggie.

blackreign's picture

Anyone know how we can recreate this phenomenom for the rest of the month? My problem is I can't go normally( unless of course I'm rushing late for work),and I wish I knew what caused period poo so I can make evryday poo.

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

she, much to the chragrin of all those around you, the odds are you will soon be having periods.

she who must not be named's picture

omg i searched this because i'm having some poo problems first i can't do it now i go every 5 min. and have dierhea or however you spell it! the doctor said i will get my first period soon! so do you think i will?

Anonymous Coward's picture

i would sugest fiber. it bulks it up. but remember when eating high fiber foods be sure to drink water because you dont want to be stopped up

gassy_lassy's picture

Well this is all fine, entertaining and comforting that I'm not alone. But, is there a cure for these atrocious farts?!

Becky's picture

Thanks!!! This has helped me out so much!

ms.poop's picture

It feels like someone is stabbing me down-wards in the stomach when i try to poo on my period. Normal? Idk...

Anonymous Coward's picture

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
Yes, it's normal.

Progesterone levels rise in the final week of your cycle, before you get your period. Progesterone swells soft tissue, so your body has a harder time pooping (among other things). It also pulls water from your bowels to muscles and other soft tissue. When your period starts, progesterone levels lower, water returns to your bowel, the tissue isn't as swollen, and your body resumes pooping normally, but as it's cleansing, poop becomes looser.

Perfectly natural, and not harmful at all. And very common.

Dr Scully's picture
l 100+ points

Anonymous C,
What's a "virgina"? I shall assume you mean the birth canal, and will go with that.
I get sometimes really bad painful intestinal cramps on my period as well. I will just be sitting there and all of a sudden I'll get a sharp crampy pain that will make me double over. Prostaglandins are the chemicals which cause uterine cramping pain, so I assume the increase of those is causing the intestinal cramps as well. That, and the lack of blood flow to your digestive system. Usually your digestive system will slow down when other things are going on in your body.
Just blame it on the period hormones, and the usual advice to eat lots of fiber and drink lots of water.

Anonymous C's picture

Hello I'm 20 years old and I have been wondering why it hurts so much when I have to poo? It ONLY hurts when I'm on my period. That's weird, I have really bad pains near my virgina. I was just wondering what that could be. I don't have problems with that when im off my period though. Thanks

wow pooper's picture

glad to know i am not alone! i'm just from the loo...it took me close to quarter an hour to poop. my roommate-she is a nursing student-didn't have an answer to my questions about why i poop alot around this time of my cycle.
i found my answers. thanks a lot

Pain in the butt's picture

Okay..........So I'm 17 and I noticed that when I'm on my period my stomach and butt hurt really bad when trying to go number 2. Any suggestions on how I can make the pain not so bad?? I literally start crying when on the toilet because it hurts. By the way, I love the part about period demons.

Anonymous Coward's picture

Wow! am so glad i found this site ive been worried so much about this. Am so relieved im not the only one who goes threw this aorund period time.

Poopella's picture

My period is literally like a laxative.

A very effective laxative.

Poopzilla's picture

Don't you just love being a girl? :D

netherlandspoopingprincess's picture

oh thank god im not alone!
I laughed my head off for the past hour while reading this 6 year old holy text at the same time as i was happily filling my room with what would make the nazi gas chambers smell like a lovely sunroom full of potpourri.... freakin hormones... i think i'll just go on the pill forever and forefeit my natural god given right to procreate in exchange for freedom from those silent but deadly period gasses and the stinky period poop...
Luv Ya girls, Happy New Year!

Poop_Monster89's picture

It's shark week for me right now and I hate shark week shits. They are so rank and I hate doing it in public or even when other people are home. I wouldn't wish the smell of a shark week shit on my own worst enemy. Lighting matches doesn't even help and it ALWAYS happens!

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

You say that, now? He keeps poking his package at my bathroom window.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

See you should have hung around me more. It would have never happened.

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Yep. I have been officially corrupted by the one and only, "bilgepump".
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

She's always looking at my package....

_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

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