why is my poop so big?

// // 264 Comments
j 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb
0
0

Stonecold asks:

Why do I poop so big? It is long, hard, and fat. I have to cut it up everytime I poop.






Dear StoneCold,

Thanks for the question! I now have a visual stuck in my head that you would not believe!

It's the old story, Stone. Fiber. Fiber. Fiber. You need at least 5 servings a day of fruits and vegetables. And with all that fiber, you must drink at least eight 8oz glasses of water or juice per day. If you don't drink a lot of fluids, you may get bunged up even more. And beer doesn't count as "fluids".

This should soften you right up and get you some soft sliders.

Please be advised that I am only a Poonurse. I am NOT a medical doctor. Any advice I give should be taken moderate skepticism. Please consult a REAL medical doctor if you feel you have a serious medical condition.

-- Poonurse

Poonurse is an RN with 25 years experience in labor and delivery. Her qualifications include seeing a lot of poop, and owning a computer. Also, she works in Michigan, which she calls the asshole of the universe, so that's another bit of credibility.

Got a question for her?












264 Comments on "why is my poop so big?"

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
0
0

Don't do that. The corn kernels are full of poop. Only the outside of the kernel comes through unchanged, because it's indigestible. What was on the inside of the kernel has been pushed out, digested, and replaced with--to put it bluntly--SHIT, which you don't want your roommate eating. However, the smell of the recycled turd-corn would give it away, I'm sure.

Anonymous Coward's picture
0
0

I have a 2 year old who poops bigger poop than most adults. Both round and long. Like BIG. Is there concern here? She eats a good healthy breakfast and lots of soy milk. She shows no concern of struggle or pain. I laugh thinking about how is this possible? I mean, she's so little herself, but yet produces this poop that is just huge! She goes onces a day too mostly! Anyhow, I'm just impressed how a 2 year old can clog a toilet.

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
0
0

Hello, AC: Your 2-year-old is having normal poops; just big because her system saves it up for output only once a day. Thank God for normal poops. As long as she doesn't feel pain upon delivery, I wouldn't have deep concern. Apparently she is eating well and pooping well; I'd leave well enough alone.

laid a fudge dragon's picture
0
0

Holy crap, I just came from the toilet and took a loaf that was as round as a chipotle burrito and at least a foot to 2 feet long! i didnt have to push at all, it just came out. it felt like i was having a baby at first. when it hit the water it was a like a mini tsunami. blood was gushing out more than a red gusher fruit snack. i just turned 79 three weeks ago. does this mean im going to die? my nurse at the home is starting to complain of the toilet clogs. can ANYBODY help?

Jedi Scum's picture
0
0

Dear nurse,

I take 3 large & soft poops a day. they are currently olive green in color because i'm taking 15 chlorella tablets a day(3X5... half an hour before each meal). This stuff is the bomb.

the poops i deliver in the morning are especially massive. 16-18 inches long and average girth. heavy like 3 pounds. after taking the dump i feel a bit high, which i usually am throughout the day, provided i am regular. if not i feel irritated and frustrated.

i go vegan on some days and eat fish and eggs on others. on the vegan days, the poops are superior.

i get stomach cramps in the morning when i wake up and feel the urge to go to the bathroom. cramps come before all poops but the morning ones r the biggest. they dont bother me.

Anonymous Coward's picture
0
0

Hey all, I am constipated today. yesterday I went to the sushi buffet and got stuffed! but today I have struggled to release this demon inside of me. I noticed it has small clusters of poop and I am clogged, it hurts REALLY bad when I push and it will not come out.. I tried making a dieters tea with honey but really need to get this out of me.. what do I do?!?

laid a fudge dragon's picture
0
0

please, for gods sake, someone help me! i have been taking huge loaves and it will not stop! i have been eating raisin bran everyday ever since my last comment. would this have anything to do with the devils coming out of my butt?

Anonymous Coward2's picture
0
0

so would fiber help because my poop is also big and i mean huge i think thats whats making me so skinny

ChiliKahKah's picture
j 1000+ points
0
0

Wow, these are not turds, they are the brown watermelons !

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
0
0

Dear AC: What's making you skinny is your metabolism, not your big poops. Yes, fiber should help make your poop softer and easier to pass; it may even give you more bowel movements per day. Don't overdo it: Start gradually, but definitely add some fiber each day until your movements become more comfortable. There's nothing particularly wrong with really big ones, as long as they come out easily; but smaller, more frequent b.m.'s may be easier to pass.

PooPimp's picture
0
0

Hello- I too just took a monster poop. I have never met anyone with larger poops. I am talking 4 inch diameter. Bought a toilet that was supposed to be able to flush a 5 gal. bucket of golf balls... yea right. I need a toilet that can flush monster logs..... Thinking about investing in a poop cutter though I just had a great idea. I also have a cat genie auto toilet for the cats... it works by scooping then blending the poos into mush and flushing. There should be a way to design a toilet with some sort of disposal that chews up these monsters into finely ground poo sauce.... anyone interested in partaking in some R&D to get this new project underway??

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
0
0

PooPimp ... Until the turd grinding toilet is invented you should just squat over the disposal unit in your kitchen sink, but don't let your balls dangle too low.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Anonymous Coward's picture
0
0

I usually got to the bathroom 5 times a week!!!! The turd are about as big as 14 inches tall and 5 inches in width. I am a girl and when i hear people talk they think im a wild man for this. Also occasionally its mali-colored and comes comes out as colored, smelly juice.Whats wrong

Anonymous Coward's picture
0
0

Why do my hands ache when I poop???? I googled it and I can't find anything.

Anonymous Coward's picture
0
0

Just a thought - your poop might be big because you have (or are) a big asshole.

laid a fudge dragon's picture
0
0

OMG! aaaoooooga! that hurt like a bitch! I just left a loaf that was round as a chipotle burrito again! I don't know what to do! Someone help! I'm on this new medicine for my kidney problems and I think it's making my fecal matter worse! I think I need to phone a priest and have them pour holy water in the toilet cuz these things are devils!!! HELP!!!

Father Anton Reamabuttski's picture
0
0

My son ... your anus is just too small, I think I can help. How old are you? Would you like to be an altar boy?

Anonymous Coward's picture
0
0

Ive been known to take large monster poops 1 to 2 times daily and I figured out my routine to get these large water snakes to go down easily. It's really simple. Right after you poop-FLUSH-then wipe-then flush.

If you feel that your poo will clog the toilet try the flush before the wipe. I know it sounds silly and simple but it will save you a headache of plunging

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
0
0

All of you AC's with questions: If your poop is too big for comfort or disposal, you can try (a) drinking more water--lots more; (b) eating more fiber--but increase it slowly so your system can get used to it; (c) exercise at least some every day, including rapid walking, digging, or the like; and (d) go to the toilet whenever you feel the need. Don't hold it until you can't stop it or until you are stopped up. This regimen should result in more poop sessions with less to pass at a time. If you still have real problems, see your doctor.

laid a fudge dragon's picture
0
0

im 79 and it just wont stop. please, give me some tips on what to do! these ass apples wont stop popping out!! its like im giving birth to black eels. i need to stop these toilet twinkies once and for all!

nope's picture
0
0

why do I have 2 poop every single day?!!!!

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
0
0

Dear nope: Not clear: Do you poop twice every day, or are you using the number 2 instead of the preposition "to" to make an infinitive? In either case, you have to poop every day because you are alive, and that is your habit: you eat, you poop ("today's feast yields tomorrow's feces"). Be thankful for it. If you have two movements a day ("2 poop"), it just means your metabolism pushes your bowel contents to the exit twice a day. No problem.

Anonymous Coward's picture
0
0

i pooped SO huge my butt hole ripped, my huge turd was so hard i thought i was having a tree!
it was so big i had to take it out of the toilet and put it in my magic blender! Now im prepared, the only thing i havent mastered is wiping my poop off my butt. its like trying to remove dryed concrete. now i keep my magic blender by the toilet in the bathroom (this only happens once a week).but i dont know when in the week it will happen, so i have it by the toilet. i also have a phone to call 911. Please try and remember, this is NOT a joke. You would NOT be laughing if you had to get 6 stitches across your butt hole. this is some serious %#$@!!!!!

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
0
0

Hello AC: You put a turd in a blender? I trust that instrument won't get used for food again. Why did you not simply wrap it up in a plastic zip-lock bag and put it out with the garbage? Or, better yet, break it up with a knife and flush the smaller pieces?

Anonymous Coward's picture
0
0

My poop is to hard for a knife to cut it. The blender is the only one i have, so...i kinda have to use it to make smoothies for my guests. i always rinse it first though.its either the blender or a sledge hammer with a wedge.

Anonymous Coward's picture
0
0

From a very young age I have dropped bog blocking turds. Eating a banana every day helps reduce the problem. I find the best way to get rid of them is to throw a bucket of water down the pan. Don't do this if the toilet bowl is full of water, wait till the water has seeped down to its normal level, then pour the bucket or bowl of water down the toilet in one go. It works for me....

riesty poop's picture
0
0

my bum smells and i cant control pooping it just falls out of my bum somtimes it looks like my grandmas poop i post pictures on face book of my poop i hate pooping i started taking constapation pills they just fall out of my bum right when i swallow them its riesty what should i do

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
0
0

riesty poop ... I was going to use my editing powers and correct your spelling but I had no idea what word you actually intended to use when you wrote "riesty". Please return and divulge the meaning of this mystery word.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Poop-da-loop's picture
0
0

Lately I have been eating unhealthily and seem to produce some mighty logs. It would take a lumberjack to split these up and toilets kneel before me when they see me approaching. These hefty beasts have become a part of me. Maybe a foot in length they rarely slide out with ease. Just today my father had to reach into the toilet to split my poot. He resembled a Cherokee indian wrangling the days meal from the river. The excrement's are jumbled together like a double scoop of ice cream with different chunks protruding from the main cone. I don't know what to do and just want to be a normal part of society. I know everyones poop stinks, but is everyones poop capable of being a murder weapon in a class A felony? If anyone can help with my problem i would love to hear the scoop.
Peace and Love your fellow shater-
Poop-da-loop

AHHHH's picture
0
0

Why are my turds either ridiculously hard or HUGE? I had another giant turd that wouldn't budge... in an INDUSTRIAL TOILET at work! Not the first time either, like 3rd time... I had to make a stick and move it so it would flush and not to torture the poor janitor...
I EAT ALOT OF FIBER. I eat alot of vegetables. I drink alot of liquids. sigh.

Painkiller poop's picture
0
0

After being on pain killers I'm extemely constapated but I'm constantly feeling the urge to go but when I tried to go it was so hard and big I sucked it back in and now I just keep dealing with this urge every five min. What can I do to make it smaller or softer while in my but? It's like right there at the edge but I can bring myself to pass it cause it's painful and I only even got the tip out and it just gets thicker!

pulsing pain's picture
0
0

I just passed another giant piece of poop...
I EAT A LOT OF FIBER. I eat a lot of vegetables. I drink a lot of liquids. What else can I do..???
What can I do to make it smaller or softer?
This one took about 5 minutes for me to get the courage to push, it was so painful, my anus was torn and finally my poop came out with blood on the sides...
help to make it better.. no more pain... thanks

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
0
0

pulsing pain ... Do you include any fat in your diet? Olive oil is a heart healthy fat and helps soften up a log.


_______
Dirty old men need love too!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

BigGermanPooper's picture
0
0

Hello......... I have come to talk about my abnormally strange fiecies. My poop well it is rather large. And it hurts so bad when i push, i always have to eat activia yogurt right before i poop. my mom says its the chocolate that cloggs me up, but i do not believe her. any help? i need help. or i am going to the emergency room. PLEASE HELP ME I AM IN SO MUCH PAIN!!!!!!!!

boner's picture
0
0

Hello doc! my son is 11 ,he had pyloric stenosis at 6 weeks old and had to have it fixed now 11 years later his poop is SO BIG!! It has to be cut up to go down! These things are so big I don't see how he can push them out. He eats right, drinks a lot of water and has fiber everyday. These things can be as big as a foot long and bigger then the hole in the bowl !!! Does the pyloric stenosis have any thing to do with it?

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
0
0

Boner ... I'm not a doctor but I honestly don't think your son's early bout with pyloric stenosis could have anything to do with his present log size. The pyloric valve is at the bottom of the stomach and can cause food to be regurgitated if it narrows to much, I once had a cat with this condition. There are several feet of intestines between the pyloric valve and the anus so my, purely unscientific, guess would be that the size of the colon could have more to do with huge logs than any prior surgery on the pyloric valve.

If I were you I would ask my doctor on my next visit and in the meantime I would keep some type of "turd chopping device" located close to the commode.


_______
Dirty old men need love too!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points
0
0

Boner, try a Vidalia Wizard or a Slap n Chop on those bad boys. I'm sure you have one or both of them rusting away in the back of a cupboard somewhere.

Anonymous Coward's picture
0
0

2 days ago I laid a giant stronzo that was in the shape of a question mark. I was so proud , I took a photo. Why does this happen ????

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
0
0

AC, Why does what happen, that you were proud or that you took a picture of a turd?


_______
Dirty old men need love too!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points
0
0

Just remember AC, when you have your lips pressed up against your cell phone, it's covered in shit molecules.

Anonymous..'s picture
0
0

i take stool softeners to make feel comfty a bit i also poop big and i am 11 i think you should take some powder medication called mineralx <

Pooper9999's picture
0
0

I just pooped two really thick hard turds with a hard bumpy surface.

They hurt really badly coming out. Afterward there was blood on the toilet paper and my ass stings. This never happened before.

Need more fiber heh.

Anonymous Coward's picture
0
0

It feels like i just got sexually assaulted by my poop, it ripped my anus. :(

sphincter stretcher's picture
0
0

20 minutes ago,i left a large deposit in the bowl[aprox.3x18]of course it wouldn't go down.so i got to wondring if large poop was normal.so i got online,found this site,felt obligated to share.i got some good laughs this morning[i must be sick to think all shit is funny haha]i know its not funny when it stretchs my sphincter beyond its limits.all my life i have only pooped once or twice a week.but when the urge comes on,i need to find a toilet now!!!!for the most part quite large,some soft & slippery,[good turd]some hard & knarled[bad turd]with over 50% having crapper clogging quality.i have found just recently,that mozzarella cheese is the biggest culpert for the making hard sphincter busting turds.so i got to stay away from things like pizza,or i pay later.
so here's hoping everything come out ok.
yours truly S.S.

laid a fudge dragon's picture
0
0

i contemplate suicide everyday. my bum hurts too much. i want to end it. i need a way out. my chocolate bread loaves are too much to handle. someone please tell me how to get these FUDGE DRAGONS to stop! i hate toilet twinkies. why god? why?!

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
0
0

Water (lots) and dietary fiber are the keys. If you get the monster out and it's too big to flush, use a knife dedicated for that purpose to cut up the turd into flushable bits.

In order to know that one's own poop is abnormally large, one must have seen other people's poop to compare it with. How do you decide that, if your poops are bigger than the other people's poop you have seen, it is yours that's abnormal? Maybe theirs is unusually small. If you never see other people's droppings, how can you tell about your own?

Anonymous Coward's picture
0
0

I really dont get it, I mean I poop pretty normally

Swine Flu Poo's picture
0
0

Hello, I've recently acquired a hemorrhoid the size of a fist on my rear and now when ever I take a dump it hurts. yesterday I took a big fat one that was really hard and felt like 50 grit sandpaper on my tuccus, so, is there any treatment for the big beasty on my behind or am I doomed of a life of painful poop?

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
0
0

Dear SFP: This sounds like a necessity to visit your doctor to have that beasty removed. How recently did you 'acquire' this beasty, and why didn't you go to the doctor before it got so big?

pattheraven's picture
0
0

What does it mean when i really have to go to the bathroom at times like where I am about to take a huge poop. Only little pebbles come out.

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
0
0

Hello Patthe: Little pebbles mean you are constipated. At a guess, you need more water, more fiber, more exercise, and less junk food.

Anonymous Coward's picture
0
0

I eat alot every day and I only poop once a week I this normal for a sixteen year old boy and it clogs every time I poop they are as big around as base balls and the size of a size 15 shoe is it because u eat alot or because I only go once a week

Anonymous Coward's picture
0
0

hi umm im only 12 years old and my poop is killing me. i tried drinking tea but when i push i feel like my butthole is wripping.this is embarrassing but i put a pencil up my hole to try to take some out but nothing change i need help asap. i heard that if you can't poop it will build up inside and you could possibly die. this is the second day of my poop problem i haven't pooped in two days and i am getting scared what do i do??

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
0
0

Not pooping for 2 days is nothing to get upset about. Have you had a change of diet in the last two days, are you on any pain killing medications?

If your problem persists it would really be a good idea to talk to your parents who will probably seek medical attention for you.


_______
Dirty old men need love too!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

britt's picture
0
0

I have tried the high fiber diet , i have tried laxatives and stool softeners and yet i still have huge painful poops...i mean huge..like as big as a small baby...and right now i am 5 and a half months pregnant with twins...please help! i dont know what else to do! i can only poop once a week (i dont even get the urge to go i have to force my self to go)

doodoo damsel's picture
0
0

I"ve given birth to 2 full term babies, and that pain doesn't compare to the pain my asshole has gone through the past few days. I take narcotic pain meds for medical reasons, methadone currently, and recently consumed a lot of oatmeal.Unfortunatly, I guess I forgot to drink enough fluids.
I feel like I've been buttraped by poop. BIG, huge, turds,with lots of blood.
I'm sad to say, this isn't an unusual occurance. No matter what I eat, whether I take a laxitive, whatever I do, my poop rapes me. And my poop looks like the dude from the greenmile!!! huh huh greenmile that's a good one for this website!!
long story short, is my medication causing this, or do I need to change my diet??

Anonymous Coward's picture
0
0

Its funny how everyone thinks fiber is the magic to loosen stool and make going to the bathroom easier. Truth is, if you take to much fiber it can also constipate you! what it does is goes through your body taking with it everything off the walls in your intestines however to much fiber can try to take everything at once which will make you constipated.

I am a nursing student. Use common sense and only take whats advised by your doctor or as recommended take 14g fiber per every 1000 calories you consume. Thats a nutrition fact folks-came straight out of the textbook! :D

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
0
0

Fiber is not a cure-all; and yet, many people need more of it than they are getting. Increasing fiber is safe only if you increase water as well. Exercise is necessary also. The idea is to soften very hard poops and perhaps increase the frequency of bowel movements so as not to have to do so much at a single sitting. If these measures don't work, SEE THE DOCTOR. If you still have turds too big to flush, get an implement to break them up--and then don't use that implement for any other purpose. Normal pooping takes a little effort, but should be an enjoyable experience, or at least not a torture.

Anonymous Coward's picture
0
0

My dauter poops really big and she comes to me for anser (or how ever you spell it) and she is 11 and she poops bigger than me im scared is she ok?

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
0
0

AC: Your daughter is probably fine. She is growing, as 11-year-olds should. That means she eats a lot, so she poops big. If she has pain, bloody poop, or severe constipation, see the doctor. Otherwise, relax. Most adults had their biggest bm's as teenagers.

Speedpooper's picture
l 100+ points
0
0

Am I the only one who can poop without feeling 'the urge'? If, for the past several weeks, I didn't feel the need to poop for days at a time, and when I did feel the urge, the turd was too big to come out without damaging my butt, I'd just make sure to poop before I felt the urge to do so. It's easy, you just go sit on the toilet, push like you normally do, and some poop will come out. It's just less than there would be if you waited a week. I routinely poop when I have no urge to do so, only because I don't want to be bothered in the middle of a long trip, long movie, etc. I plan ahead. It works.

shitterella's picture
0
0

This comment is a reply to doodoo damsel. I feel your pain! I'm having the same problems being on methadone. My stomach started to get distended and my 110lb frame looked 5 months prego! I never had any poop probs before. I have been vegetarian for years, drink tons of water and tea all day, so I don't think its my diet because it has been the same since before I was prescribed pain meds. I am pretty sure that this medication causes constipation, then giant cloggers once they get loose enough to come out. I have to take daily senokot tablets and sometimes that is not enough. When they don't work I use magnesium citrate... it has the opposite effect though and gives you dia-rita but at least I don't have to walk around bloated and pregnant with a turd baby. I miss being able to shit normally; going between blasting out a space shittle rocket that clogs my poor toilet up to citromag induced turd chili is no way to live!

Anonymous Coward's picture
0
0

You guys have all called shit poop.

Why is my poop's picture
0
0

Wow, there are some serious issues here. How can poop get that big? Fiber and water is the best remedy. Good ol' oatmeal.

whyismypoop's picture
0
0

Wow, some people need more fiber in their diets. Poop should never be that damn big!

Doctor Pooper's picture
0
0

Contrary to what you say whyismypoop, eating a high fiber diet causes larger bowel movements. For the bowels to work properly, a lifelong daily intake of 25-30 grams, or about one ounce of dietary fiber daily, is required. After the digestion of all proteins, fats and carbohydrates, and the absorption of water and other nutrients in the small intestine, the colon (the last five feet of the intestine) receives approximately one pint of liquid stool together with the undigested fiber.

Under normal circumstances, the colon gradually removes the remaining water, and forms a shaped stool, which moves toward the rectum as a result of gentle pressure waves. In people who eat too little of fiber-containing foods, the stool becomes hard, dry and small. Whereas the soft, bulky stool can move easily along the passage of the colon, the hard, dry stool sticks to the dry wall of the colon and requires that the colon develop high-pressure waves to be moved.

Ergo, if you eat lots of fiber you will have bigger poops but that is a "good" thing.

Butt of the Joke's picture
l 100+ points
0
0

Trust him,he's a doctor.
_______
More people flush than they do wash their hands.

More people flush than they do wash their hands.

loavesof love's picture
0
0

So, this is where you end up when you google "why is my poop so big?". I'm so happy I stumbled onto this site. At first I was concerned about the shitasaurus I gave birth to. That was my reason for the internet search. Thanks to you guys though, I am no longer afraid. I will find my own turd chopper and I think this particular poop loaf is getting fished out with a plastic bag and thrown out into the trash can! I've laughed so hard today, tears were coming down. Thanks !!!

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
0
0

Dear loaves, Glad you could stop by. Put on your slippers, fetch yourself a cool drink, and join in the fun. You might even want to register and share your wisdom with us.


_______
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Anonymous Coward's picture
0
0

I shit enormous turds so painful that I bleed and have to pray and rock back and forth until a preliminary mega log fires out of my ass into the pipe clogging it, after this, a few dozen golf ball size pieces machine-gun out of my ass.

I have to use the largest pipe snake available because a plunger is no match for me.