slow, painful, sensitive pooping

// // 84 Comments
j 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb
0
0

Painful Pooper asks:

I noticed that when I poop, my poophole seems to sort of bulge outward and form a thick rim -- as if instead of opening, it kind of drops out and then finally opens. Sometimes pooping hurts and most often it is a slow process as the poop works its way out. (The turds sometimes come out looking like curly-cues, like that pasta that's sort of c-shaped.) Are these hemorrhoids? Should I worry about it? Sometimes when I wipe before they retract, I can feel them, it's somewhat sensitive -- and it scares the heck out of me!

I also occasionally bleed when I poop, the doc says it might be internal hemorrhoids. Maybe those internal hemorrhoids are now (on occasion) external?





Dear Painful Pooper,

While it is normal for the rectum to bulge outward before opening, as you describe, I am curious as to exactly how you know this. I have no idea what mine looks like while pooping, because it would require LOOKING. This is just not what I want to see; but whatever floats your boat, I always say.

Here are a few basic truths about life:

  • Pooping shouldn't hurt.
  • You shouldn't bleed after you poop.
  • Poop that looks like a curly-cue is always cool to see.

At least you are one of the few here who has GONE TO SEE A DOCTOR about a problem, so I have to give you props right there.

You do have hemmorhoids, and they could be getting worse. Before you have to have a hemmorhoidectomy like I did follow a very high fiber diet and be sure you drink plently of liquids.

See your doctor again if your problem isn't improving. Good luck, and thanks for asking Poonurse.

Please be advised that I am only a Poonurse. I am NOT a medical doctor. Any advice I give should be taken moderate skepticism. Please consult a REAL medical doctor if you feel you have a serious medical condition.

-- Poonurse

Poonurse is an RN with 25 years experience in labor and delivery. Her qualifications include seeing a lot of poop, and owning a computer. Also, she works in Michigan, which she calls the asshole of the universe, so that's another bit of credibility.

Got a question for her?












84 Comments on "slow, painful, sensitive pooping"

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points
0
0

I've heard also that if your colon is shaped incorrectly, it will cause a hook at the beginning of the poop.
I know this because my daughter had bowel problems for years after serious food poisoning, and her colon became distended from fear of pooping.

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
0
0

Oh, man! That's awful. Hope she feels better now, Daphne.

I have a cousin who used to wet her bed when she was a child because she ate a box of Christmas ornaments when she was two.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

SomeChickNamedJen's picture
0
0

eep, x-mas ornament? with or without the hooks? rofl, sorry, that really isn't funny but yeah.

I'm glad I'm not the only kid that had a fear of pooping, this site makes me feel better.

octavio ascencio's picture
0
0

hello my name is octavio ascencio and the thing that reaslly is scaring the shit! out of me is that everytime, well not "every" time i shit i shit out a little amount of blood that is intact with the "shit", and yesterday it came out like crazy while took a shit do u know any thing about cuz i dont wanna die...

d.m.'s picture
0
0

I bleed about two wipes full when I poop.
Could it be serious?

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
0
0

You're probably just wiping too hard. D.M.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

Anonymous Coward's picture
0
0

after suffering from anal fissures since June ( now December).....the sphincter muscle was cut ...just a little....no more fear of the morning BM or any more pain or blood.......I told the doctor I kiss the ground he walks on.

Bugle arse's picture
0
0

Having suffered from an anal fissure, for ten miserable years. I fi-
nally cured it, by washing after every motion. Then applying Tea Tree
Oil to the area, once you are healed, which should not take too long,
apply Lavender Oil for a while, and you should be home and hosed.
It worked for me, how I found out about it ? Someone treated his dogs arse with it. Well, I thought, it may be worth a try, and thankfully it worked.

Anonymous Coward's picture
0
0

Um I think its because of my nutrition problems ( I don't eat vegetables and barely any fruits, (I can't stand vegetables and seeing them makes me throw up especially after finding out tomatoes can cause blood clots, and condiments are horrible for you) In any case... I always seem to poop very slowly and if I "push it with my butt it won't come out, so I have to remain relaxed and just let it ... slowly come out, and its very slow..... sometimes it hurts sometimes it doesn't... I haven't seen any blood though. I have a feeling it is nutrition problems and I would like fixes (that don't include vegetables) although the only time I have seen it act quick is just after eating some ice cream... should I eat icecream before I poop?

pooper's picture
0
0

I need to see a doctor! Today I pooped a huge turd. It was extremly painful during the extraction and then there was so much blood on the toliet paper it looked like I started my period. This has been going on for about 2-3 years and it comes and goes. I eat a healthy, fiber filled diet with fruits and vegies.

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
0
0

You don't need a doctor, pooper, just a half dozen or so leeches.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

Anonymous Coward's picture
0
0

I saw this show called Huff- he's a physciatrist...he had a patient who feared pooping, and he would go as long as 30 days or more without pooping. Huff told him that he should poop or else he could die. Well he didn't die he just got a pooper bag, which he hated becouse he hated poop so much..he was like I'm full of poop. Hope this was at all coherent as it is 2:00 in the morn.

GottaGoGirl's picture
i 2000+ points
0
0

Well... coherent: mostly.

On topic? Not so much. But since we're here, "Huff" is on Showtime. I'm too prole to HAVE Showtime, but there you go. Another example of poop on T.V.

Anonymous Coward's picture
0
0

i recomend for boils around the asshole area you should use ichthammol. it stinks and is black but works wonders it worked for me with my huge boil on my asshole !

Anonymous Coward's picture
0
0

When i poop a huge dropping, i bleed just a little bit. The blood stops after a few seconds. I feel a tear when a big poop comes out. Do i have a cut? Is that why it only bleeds a little? Do i need to see a doctor? I'm scared. Is there something wrong with me?

PoopDolly's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
0
0

Any blood coming from your ass should really be investigated by a GP. One of the the most common causes of slight bleeding is those lil' critters: piles, but it's always best to get these things checked out.

Keep On Poppin'/Poopin' (delete as appropriate)

Keep on Poopin'/Poppin' (delete as appropriate)

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points
0
0

Maybe the turd was bleeding. After all it was forced through an orifice many times smaller than its size. That poor little bastard needs some tlc and maybe a band-aid.

scared pooper's picture
0
0

I just took a dump and when i wiped there was a lot of blood is there something wrong with my anus? Should i see a doctor?OR can i take care of it myself?

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
0
0

The original question was about the anus bulging out before opening up for the poop to go through. I think this is normal; we have to relax to poop, and when I go, I can feel my anus descend as I relax. Not only does that make it easier to push the turds out, it also sets the anus slightly away from the cheeks, making the exit not quite as messy. The act of pushing also distends the anus, but makes it descend first. If you have ever happened to see a horse poop, you can see it lift its tail, then its anus pooches out, then the poop comes out through the resulting tube, falling well to the rear of its buttocks.
For the most recent poster: Blood on the toilet paper or on the b.m. itself may or may not be serious. It could go away by itself and never be seen again. If it continues, though, it's not likely you can treat yourself successfully, at least in part because you can't see that part of you, especially inside. A doctor can do that, mostly likely does it every day. So if you see blood again, don't delay--see the doctor.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
0
0

I thought that life as I knew it was over after having been diagnosed with multiple
hemorrhoids. All is well again as I now have a job as a cake decorator in New Jersey.

_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points
0
0

Chief, my daughter was a well known cake decorator, and was in demand at several establishments. For my sons birthday (he was a big Hendrix fan) she made him a Jimmy Hendrix cake complete with the dark chocolate frosting, licorice twizzlers for hair and a real joint in his mouth. I loved it, but had to confiscate the joint for...er...throwing away. Yes throwing away.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
0
0

PD...........I had to destroy my son's stash several times. The best means of destruction by far was by burning.

_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

RicePoop's picture
0
0

errrr.. is this site a joke? or serious O.O

The Thunderous Crapper 63's picture
k 500+ points
0
0

We deal with serious issues here rice. I know sometimes I take a dump and it feels like its coming out sideways. I tend to crap HUGE ENORMOUS BALLS of shit. No curls, no floaters just shit balls.
_______
AHHHHHEMMMMMMMMMM JUST CLEARING MY THROAT!! ;)

AHHHHHEMMMMMMMMMM JUST CLEARING MY THROAT!! ;)

Young gurl.. heh.'s picture
0
0

well I'm sorta young from my name thing you can tell but please do not judge, me and my boyfriend tried anal last night and this morning when I went to take a shit it hurt like hell and last naught after we tried anal my ass hole was bleeding. Help??

Postman's picture
k 500+ points
0
0

I felt pain while I was reading this story.

An asshole that bulges out, blood, and pain - sounds like a horror movie. Hopefully this person eventually straightend themselves out.

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
0
0

Young gurl, your ass is torn...it will heal. If you are going to continue with anal sex, use KY jelly or some similar lubricant.
_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

Anonymous Coward's picture
0
0

i like to rub vaseline around my ring piece before i drop some dumpage. of course it still tears and i find myself slumped on the floor with shit, all over my arse

Bigpooperlol's picture
0
0

Yea this is embarrassing...well I take really big poops. Sometimes GIANT poops. I usually feel as though 'the vault' has been totally emptied. But sometimes I worry that my poops are too big (I pooed a turd that was the size of a balled-up fist). Sometimes my poos are so big it big it hurts to crap them out. Should I be worried? And sometimes my butt feels like it's stretching and then there's a few drops of blood (extremeley rare that this happends). Are my poos too big?

Anonymous Coward's picture
0
0

I am a 22 year old female, I maintain a relatively healthy diet, and drink mainly water. I normally poop once every day or two. I haven't gone in nearly 4 days now. Today I got the urge, but when I tried it hurt, like my poop was too large for the hole. As I was sitting there trying to get this crap out of me, the urges were coming slowly but they were so intensely painful that the poo almost sucked back up inside my butt. This has never happened to me. I see that you've recommended a high fiber diet, but I haven't passed this poop and was wondering if there's any way to help me get this out?

El Scumbag's picture
k 500+ points
0
0

Try unscrewing the shower head and inserting the end of the hose into your hoop. Let the water go up there slowly. It feels pretty wierd, but you should find that it increases the moisture content of the compacted poop and you should be able to shit like a cow that's been eating figs.

Thunderbox's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points
0
0

I now have a very disturbing image in my head, Scummy.

The voice of sanity

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
0
0

I have never seen a fig fed cow pooping but I have been shit on by a grain fed cow. Grain is not a natural diet for a bovine and it sometimes gives them the squirts and makes their poop erupt from their bung-holes with the power of a fire hose. I was once unlucky enough to be standing directly behind one and was caught by the full force of the evacuation on the bib of my overalls.

Something many of you might not be aware of, cows do such a poor job digesting grain that you can fatten pigs on nothing but cow shit. This will be something you can think about next time you dine on pork chops.
_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

PainfulAnal's picture
0
0

Young gurl...I feel your pain. I never could have imagined the pain of anal...even with lube it hurt like hell! And this morning, when I had to take a shit...it was like experiencing it all over again. And my bf and I tried it because I'm on my period. Now I'm bleeding not only from my vagina, but also my anus!

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
0
0

Young gurl and PainfulAnal....Don't let yourselves me talked into things so easily without doing a little research first.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Postman's picture
k 500+ points
0
0

Chief, after reading your post of 3/18, I may have to remove bacon, pork chops, and ham from my diet.

A shame, because pigs are so damn tasty.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
0
0

Postman.....Don't give up the pig flesh. All your veggies can also thrive on a diet of cow shit.

Seriously....when I worked in a slaughterhouse we had a holding pen that was used for mostly grain-fed beef, it was a pain in the ass to keep clean until we learned we could put a pig in the lot and it would do the cleaning for us.

One of the more disgusting sights I ever witnessed was a cow squirting out a steamer on a cold day that was flecked with visible chunks of coarse ground corn, then watching a happy pig enjoy a hot meal. I still eat pork though.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Postman's picture
k 500+ points
0
0

Chief, I also like chicken. I'm scared to death to ask what they eat.

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
0
0

Chickens eat weed seeds, dried corn, pebbles for roughage, some insects, and some other plant parts. They are not careful, but their gizzards are quite tough and fairly efficient. I doubt they seek out poop to eat, but if some seeds made it through some other creature and came out in poop, the chicken might pick out those seeds.

To get back to the original thread, I'd be surprised if a chicken feels much pain while pooping.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
0
0

Years ago I had a small flock of chickens, about 50 hens, that had the run of the property during the day. We had one hen that looked like a humpback which we had named Igor. A friend who owned a cocker spaniel puppy was visiting. The puppy squirted out a diarrhea dump on the lawn and was spied in the act by Igor. Igor rushed over, gave the shit a quizzical look with her head twisted sideways then immediately began gobbling it up by dragging her beak through all the doggy goodness with sideways scoops. We still ate the eggs she produced.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
0
0

Aaawwweee, man. That is the best thing I have heard out of a poopreporter all day. Gross mental image there, chief, But of course, I get high on gross.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points
0
0

Somehow, I'm glad the only chicken I ever see is in a plastic tray with clear wrap and a price sticker on it.

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
0
0

The best tasting chicken and eggs are the home grwn kind. When I was a little girl, my grampaw had a chicken coop. The rooster was named Jake. I never had a store bought egg until the 1970s, I guess. Believe me, when i tell i tasted the difference. Store bought eggs and chicken have no taste when compared home grown backyard chicken and eggs. Nothin' tastes better than a fresh egg except a salty fresh raw oyster.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points
0
0

I recently saw a cooking show where the host made a "really fresh" strawberry milkshake. He picked wild strawberries (yum), put them in a blender with ice and proceeded over to one of his cows and (shudder) milked it right into the blender. I was so nauseous, I was only able to eat 3/4 of my dinner that night.

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
0
0

You make me smile, PD. You shudder over an udder of milk hahaha!br>_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Anonomonomous's picture
0
0

my ass seems to have bled every time i've pooped for the last week or two.
it's worrying.

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
0
0

Anonomonomous, see a gastroenterologist for the bleeding with pooping.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
0
0

And a remedial spelling teacher, or type therapist, for that uh...stuttering problem.


_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
0
0

Anonomonomous means anonymity to the point of not even knowing who you yourself are. The definition can be found in the latest edition of the Doggin/Thunderbutt Institute's "Dictionary of Seldom Used Words." For a copy just send all your money to either PD or CTB, credit cards also accepted if accompanied by a valid PIN.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

butt's picture
0
0

I have been taking pain killers and havent been drinking enough water with them. Now my poops are clay like and much larger than i can poo out. what can i do to get them out without going through intense pain? I dont have any sort of shower tube like someone else has suggested...

Anonymous Coward's picture
0
0

I read all of this on my Blackberry while pooping. It was quite comical.

Anonymous Coward's picture
0
0

Whenever I try to poop, it HURTS LIKE HELL! And I can't get it out!! I have the fiber, and water, and blah blah. What should i do? Every time I'm relaxing, it feels like it's coming, so I go into the bathroom, and wait, and NOTHING! PLZZ HELP!!!

HurtsLikeHell's picture
0
0

Okay, so it started last night where it hurt SOO bad to poop that I couldn't even stand it where i had to stop...what can i do!?!?!

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
0
0

HLH, As soon as we get a translation of your comment we will try to help you.

br>_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Anonymous Coward's picture
0
0

The last couple of weeks pooping has been more painful, and there is a very small amount of blood when i wipe, the blood is a recent occurence. I only go about twice a week and they are rather big but this has been the case for many years. The pain goes away after a minute or two, its more an initial pain when its happening rather than anything else.

I have a poor diet, have for years and assume these are tied together. I can't bring myself to going to a doctor at all at the moment. So I am thinking of having a real good go at a diet change, having cereal and orange juice on a morning rather than a quick bacon buttie. Wondering if this would help much. Also replace fizzy drinks with juice too.

All comments appreciated, i think the change of diet would be worthwhile regardless, but if it can go someway to helping this would be great

Anonymous Coward's picture
0
0

im a young-ish girl...and my poops have gotten more and more painful. it sometimes bleeds (more so then not) and my poops usually always clog up the toilet, and i guess i dont have the best diet... but ill be changing that due to the most recent...it was so painful i had to stop and reel 'em on back in, so im standing here, waiting until i cant take it anymore, then going through the pain of my life.

InPain's picture
0
0

On a serious level I really need some help. I haven't been for a poo in over a week because every time I try the pain is SO excruciating I have to stop. I literally feel like I might cry or faint and can't even sit down afterwards. I really need to go but I can't. There's no blood just sharp stabbing pains when the poo gets near the opening. Advice people pleeeeaaasee!!!

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
0
0

Dear InPain ... Pain is an indicator given to us by our bodies to let us know that something is not quite right. The best thing to do when you experience pain is go to a doctor to discover the cause. In your case you seem to have some internal problem that needs looking at. See your doctor for a solution, it may be something as simple as an internal hemorrhoid that is not bleeding but is pressure sensitive. Let the good doc stick his scope up your butt and take a look, you might find relief with something as simple as a stool softener. Good luck.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

14 year old boy's picture
0
0

Will drinking prune juice(whic is sooooo gross)
make my poop more softer like?

ChiliKahKah's picture
j 1000+ points
0
0

Eat a bowl of black berry fruit, that will start the old brown freight train !

Anonymous Coward's picture
0
0

My boyfriend will poop several times a day if he does not have at least 2 activa yogurts a day and if he eats too much food especially pork. I think he has poisened his system with it as he has been eating it every day for years until he met me!

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
0
0

Dear AC, are his poops painful? Diarrhea? Does he have problems with them? If not--if his poops are reasonably normal and comfortable--let him continue his diet. If he's having problems, then likely he should change. maybe even see a doctor. But for many people, pooping often yet normally is far preferable to being constipated.

Anonymous Coward's picture
0
0

Can't shit. Yesterday i thought i was in the clear when i finally got two little nuggets out but i know im constapated cause i keep feeling like im gonna crap my pants, even while sleeping. I have taken stool softeners but nothing is sliding out. I have pushed so hard that i feel like getting stabbed and i have learned that's bad so im trying to relax and wait for it but it hurts so bad i start shaking and my temp goes way up then i have to push it back up.which is super painful. Am i gonna be ok to push this crap out even if ut feels like hell?

Anonymous Coward's picture
0
0

YOU PEOPLE NEED TO EAT SOME RAISIN BRAN. PRUNE JUICE WORKS WELL TOO

Painful pooper's picture
0
0

Hi, Recently it has been hurting when I have a shit and it bleeds sometimes. It's been happening literally every poo I have. Last night I had two within the space of an hour and the same today. It hurts extremely badly. I'm far to embarrassed to go to a doctor but does anyone know what it could be and how to help my ass get back to normal? :(

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
0
0

Dear Painful Pooper ... Get over your embarrassment, cemeteries are full of people who were "far to embarrassed to go to a doctor." Don't become one of them, I will make a healthy wager that your's will not be the first asshole the doctor has seen and he will not be upset by your seeking his professional help.

Good luck to you.


_______
Dirty old men need love too!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Anonymous mommaa's picture
0
0

I just took a dump n it was pretty painful. It was really big n hard n wen it finally came out i felt my butthole rip. I dnt kno if it did but It did bleed a little n it still hurts!! How can i make it stop hurting??

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
0
0

Dear mommaa ... The best thing you can do is enlarge your anus with a wood rasp. You will have no pain the next time you use your new, larger, deluxe asshole. I however, will be in agony for quite some time as I think about your spelling ability.


_______
Dirty old men need love too!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Mother of one's picture
0
0

I had a baby about 3 months ago and when I try and poo it really hurts and my bum bleeds is this right? It's been like it since I gave birth. Before I had my lil one it never did this.

Jacob C.'s picture
0
0

About a week ago I wasn't takin shits I would juss hold it it. Now when I take shits it hurts like a muthafucka! Its not even turds its little brown balls. They hurt like a bitch. Can anyone tell me wats the deal? And yes this is 100% real.