my farts smell really bad

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Motherload offers some odor-reducing tips.Smellyass Asks:

I have the worst smelling farts of anyone I know. Even I can't stand the smell. I want to know how I can get rid of the terrible odor that comes out of me. Could there be anything wrong with me to be causing this terrible smell?

I eat a balanced diet with no excess of anything I can think of. What could be the cause??


Dear Smellyass,

Some folks' opinion of a "balanced diet" really don't meet all the good health standards that are usually implied with the term. Just because you don't eat any one thing in excess does not mean that all the stuff you are eating equal parts of are really that good for you.

Gas does tend to stink more when the farter consumes foods that are either not so good for them (such as high-fat fried foods, sugary confections, and carbonated beverages such as sodas and beer) or things that disagree with them (such as foods they are allergic to or intolerant of, like dairy or wheat products).

Illness can also be a contributing factor in the scent and intensity of the flatulent odor. Celiac disease, diverticulitis, colitis, bacterial overgrowth/imbalance, and even cancer could be the cause of some really smelly fumes.

Here are some tips from Kendra Dahlstrom of eHow to try to make your farts less stinky:

1) Try cutting out the dairy in your diet. This seems quite drastic, but an excess of milk and dairy products in the diet can cause extra smelly gas. If your gas odor has not severely declined within two or three days without dairy, go ahead and add it back into your diet.

2) Decrease your intake of oily, fatty, fried foods. Not only is this bad for your gas, but greasy foods are also horrible for your health. Do everyone (including yourself) a favor, and cut them out of your diet.

3) Eat artichokes. Artichokes have the strange ability of neutralizing gastrointestinal odors. Although this is not a commonly eaten food, try to incorporate it into your diet.

4) Eliminate all carbonated beverages from your diet, including pop and beer. Carbonation tends to exacerbate the odor of gas. Again, if this does not improve the odor within a few days, you may go ahead and add them back to your diet.

5) Cook your vegetables before you eat. It's extremely easy to grab a handful of baby carrots or broccoli florets for a snack. Unfortunately, your digestive system has a more difficult time breaking down raw vegetables than it does digesting cooked vegetables. Make sure all roughage you put into your stomach is cooked, and your gas odor should improve.

Hope these tips help. If not, you could get you some of those activated charcoal underwear inserts and just fart away without worrying about the smell. Here is one good offer on them: Charcoal Underwear.

Thanks for asking Motherload!

Motherload is Certified Nurse Assistant as well as an IBS sufferer, which means she knows a lot about poop. Got a question for her? Ask it here.

326 Comments on "my farts smell really bad"

Anonymous's picture

Thanks for this comment, I laughed so hard my cheeks started aching hahaha

Anonymous's picture

I just ate artichoke a few days ago. U grew up eating most of my greens Luke broccoli and artichoke with mating. Its been about four days and I'm still stinking myself out of the room with rotten egg farts :( I've even cut back on my food intake

___________________________________

Moderators comment.

The comment above is as submitted with no editing. I didn't know whether Luke Broccoli was fucking the artichoke or perhaps someone was engaged in sex while eating both the veggies, sort of a menage au quatre.

I seem to recall that Like Broccoli starred in the original "Star Wars" movie.

Chief Thunderbutt

Anonymous's picture

Couple of things
1) My farts stink
2) Negatives: Anti social but who cares! Mates say they wish they could fart like I do. Strangers get a shock, one time I was in a public toilet cubicle minding my own business and a guy came into the bathroom and I heard him sniffing and say "Cor mate, you sure know how to take a shit on a toilet" then leave! Another time thought I was being clever farting on a plane, thought smell would just disappear into air vents but alas no! All the nearby passengers began grumbling about the smell was waiting for gas masks to drop.
3)Positives: don't worry my Nan is 93 and farts like a trooper so not necessarily the end of the world.

Anonymous's picture

Can't believe I just spent all this time reading three years worth of fart stories. Mine don't normally smell so bad, even my kids would agree with that. I think they smell great. I told my oldest daughter once that I fart rainbows and shart leprechauns, which gave her a great mental picture to remember me by when I'm gone. When they do smell bad though, oh my. Not only do they linger. They actually follow me around.

I was having some issues the other day and actually walked out into the hallway because I knew something really bad was coming. I let it go, and walked several steps and turned the corner into the kitchen where my oldest daughter was standing. I couldn't help but grin a little because I wasn't expecting her to be there and I know my really bad ones have this tendency to follow me wherever I walk. She pulled her IPods earbuds out and asked, "Did you fart?" "Oh my God, dad, I can actually taste that one. That's disgusting."

Am I the only one whose really bad farts will follow him whenever he walks?

Anonymous's picture

Okay, It's 12.06AM here and I have my two small children in the next room. Reading this has made me wake them up because I'm roaring with laughter. You guys are great! I'm saving this page in my favorites so I can come back and read it again and again. You're fucking hilarious. LOVE the air con and being sent to the toilet story. BRILLIANT!!

Anonymous's picture

I just farted after reading this!

Anonymous's picture

And you seem to be either intellectually destined for a future life in the state pen for overzealous abusing of teenage girls and the heinous crime of verbally abusing young girls and destroying their pink fluffy cloud of dreams, or a stint in the old farts' asylum of which I hear there are many senile residents these days whose dinner topic includes among others, which side of her face was Marilyn Monroe's mole on.

Anonymous's picture

My boyfriend farted on the Star Tours ride at Disneyland and made a kid cry. He left a good present for the next group of people. Excited to ride the ride.

Anonymous's picture

You all rock!

Anonymous's picture

I enjoy ripping a noisy fart for all to enjoy!

Anonymous's picture

I could have written this post! Gavin had a easy trip to potty training land but we had the same thing with farts! I hadn't used any edible reinforcements prior so when I brought out skittles he was super excited. I only used them for productive trips to the bathroom. This didn't eliminate the false alarms immediately but within a week or two he was farting with ease without even a mention of a trip to the potty. Blessing in disguise maybe because now he farts about 37 times a day and has no discretion when it comes to public or private. I blame my husband for that though. That is a different post entirely! Good luck. This will pass (no pun intended) quickly!Maria recently posted.

Anonymous's picture

I framed an innocent family!

My mom, my little sister and I were on a red eye flight from Seattle to DC. We had an awesome dinner a few hours before takeoff consisting of sauerkraut and Kielbasa. I knew I was going to have the farts but no one else did! We get on the plane and I started off with the SBDs and boy did they reek!

My Mom told another passenger, "sir I think your kids need to use the potty." So the dad took the kids to the potty and all was well, until they came back, mwahhahaha.

Then I started farting again, this time they were so hot I'm surprised I didn't burn a hole in my seat. My mom was getting mad. All of a sudden I let one rip and she yelled at me on the plane in front of a bunch of people.

I said sorry, but if you're not nice', I'll do it again. And so I did. Now I kinda feel bad for the old people that were there, smelling my sauerkraut and kielbasa Induced air shits.

Anonymous's picture

People immediately think that "certain foods" or "certain beverages" cause rotten-ass screaming air-shits, but no one food or drink is going to universally affect everyone the same way. Much of the time, believe it or not,your allergies are responsible for rot-gut. No joke.

The very foods that give you an allergic reaction and cause you to pump out a cadaverous stench may not affect another person in the same way at all.

Any time you start blowing toxic fumes out your ass, it's a sure sign of bacterial war being waged in your guts. The human digestive system relies upon a proper balance of beneficial bacteria in the small intestine. When you kill off those bacteria with excessive alcohol consumption or antibiotics, other less beneficial bacteria take over. This results in reeking death farts from Hell.

You can quickly resolve this situation by choking down a few cups of yogurt which is full of live Lactobacillus acidophilus bacteria. This will restore the balance of beneficial bacteria in your digestive tract.

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Moderators Comment;

Dear anonymous, You are cordially invited to come over and smell one of my yogurt farts. I eat yogurt and drink buttermilk frequently but still seem capable of producing farts that make strong men gag.

Your stinky pal,
ChiefThunderbutt

Anonymous's picture

Back in school days I used to combine a cup of tea in the morning with a glass of orange juice just before I left home. It was like WW1 in form class. Noxious gas attacks sweeping the rows. Those farts were voted the second most disgusting thing to happen in that form class.

The farts were only topped the time the guy next to me was laughing so hard that the biggest white-head on his face burst and sprayed over the desk.

Anonymous's picture

OMG, I swear to god I'm going to explode. I know for a fact what I ate did not smell like this when I ate it . I have cleared the whole house out! It's like a symphony of farts in here! The funny thing is I love it, it makes me laugh. The more I laugh the more I fart. I just wish my family would stay inside and enjoy them with me.

Anonymous's picture

I had this job that was really cool. I had a desk right across from my boss. On hot days, when we had fans going, I used to let em rip and angle the fan at him, he'd get up cursing at me and run away.

One day, he got me back. He did the same and it was so bad it made me gag and made my mouth numb.

Anonymous's picture

Classic!!

Anonymous's picture

My wife takes the term "fart at will" to heart, she can fart any time she wants, even when she is sleeping she still farts. Sometimes they are loud and will awaken us both. Other times I am awake and I don't hear them but boy I sure can smell them. She even says her farts make her gag! They are so smelly.

She loves to eat candy and drink her sweet tea oh yes and pasta, she loves to eat pasta. She said she will stop drinking the sweet tea but only does it for a day, and then she says, "it didn't work'" so she starts back up drinking the tea and eating candy.

Anonymous's picture

I remember one time quite a number of years ago, when I was in third grade, I decided to let a silent one loose. It was so bad that not only all the kids complained, but even the teacher opened all the doors and windows in the classroom.

I have to say it was quite amusing to watch everyone's reaction, even back then.

Anonymous's picture

I need opinions. When I feel a fart coming on, I like to stick my finger up my ass, fart on my finger then pull it out and stick my finger in my mouth. I see a lot of people like the smell of their farts but I was wondering if anyone else out there likes the taste of them like I do.

My husband thinks I am gross but my best friend likes to stick her finger up my ass and taste it too. I personally don"t believe there is anything wrong with it. I tried to get my shrink to try it but she was not impressed. oh well.

Anonymous's picture

I do believe that my proudest gas pass would have to be when I was driving down the highway leading a friend of mine in a car behind me. I was traveling about 60 mph with the front windows about halfway down. I had eaten some McD's earlier in the day and things were percolating. Just when I was brimming I let out one big ol' fraapp. Even with the windows open this was a monster I had never smelled before. I opened all the windows full and it took 7-8 minutes for the smell to disappear. I arrived at the destination along with my buddy following behind. We get out of our cars and he runs over to ask me if I had farted at some point during our travels. I said I did but had no idea it could pass from one car to another at 60 mph. He said it was the worst thing he had ever smelled and I couldn't have been prouder.

Anonymous's picture

I turned Vegan and stopped eating meat a long time ago. (Don't kid yourselves either, fish is meat.) What made me stop was the smell of death coming from inside me. The smell of flesh decaying is the smell of death, and your nose is the sense that tells you, you're putting the wrong things in.
Look up "decay" and you will see that nature makes sure to bring insects, molds, fungus and bacteria to break down anything that is decaying. Rotten meat can stay inside you for 7 years as we are not built for eating meat like carnivores, it can't pass through our vast network of intestines easily because of its texture, hence the sickening stench. Nature WILL find a lifeform to nourish itself off of the filthy corpses inside of you. Then they claim cancer is a mystery.
Anyway the losers ignoring their sense of smell and enjoying the sickening graveyard wind they produce, clearly have no sense. Our senses is all that we have people. Stop believing in what people tell you and start to know for yourself!
Oh yeah, the food you eat changes your genes. You're not only screwing yourselves, you're screwing your kids too.

Anonymous's picture

I would like to disagree with you about your last statement. Raw foods, in fact, are much easier for your body to digest. They are also not lacking the nutrients that are destroyed when you cook your food, including your vegetables. I suggest looking up Fruitarianism, it's a very healthy way of living. (Eliminates most any flatulence and puts your body in tip top shape) That's a completely raw diet and it's benefits exceed even eating a 100% healthy food diet.

Editor's Note -- If you want to get downright factual and scientific about this topic, I suggest that you visit this site, Beyondveg.com and read the paper this person put together. This is the most awesome research that I have seen so far in regard to being fair about raw diets versus cooking food. I like this site, and I am a vegetarian most of the time. I like it because the empirical evidence put forth on the site is more credible than the radical quackery I hear from people who know nothing about nutrition or science.

This being said, raw is not always better. Beta carotenes are released through steaming, for example, and there are many vegetables that are better for you when steamed. Also, fruititarian diets lead to protein deficiencies and serious issues with B12.

Anonymous's picture

You must be an ape, with arms so long you can cup your hands around your bare bum lol

Anonymous's picture

Doodoo is good for the soul.

Anonymous's picture

I was feeling to be sick or something because of my farts, and I have been planning to book an appointment to see my doctor for this farts of mine. It smells so rotten bad that my wife can't stand it any longer, even myself. But the funniest thing is that sometimes my farts smells so bad that I can't even perceive the odor, and I was wondering if because of the bad odor I lost my sense of smell. My wife would say "you need to see your doctor because this is not just ordinary smell that come from farts, in fact, you are sick." I decided today to research the causes of this everyday farts with ugly smell associated with it before seeing my doctor. In fact, it's ugly in this scenario bad smelling farts of mine is destroying my marriage. I pitied my wife when this happens and I had to go to bathroom because of it all the time. hmmmm. tired of it.

Anonymous's picture

I too have very smelly farts- such that when my wife filed divorce proceedings she actually mentioned this ability as part of the irreconcilable differences. I am actually proud of that!

Anonymous's picture

I think my farts are excellent for biological warfare Ha ha ha!

Anonymous's picture

I ate a roll and square sausage yesterday, and my ass is stinking, my folks thought there was a blocked drain and where going to call the drain mob.

Anonymous's picture

omg I laughed till I cried it was to funny. I can only imagine you embarrassment.

Anonymous's picture

Lol,as gross as that sounds I'd be willing to compete. I had a Guinness before dinner and the smells have been so horrid they prompted me to look up what could have done this to me!! It's so bad I can't tell whether it's me or my boxer! Now I know; no more Guinness!!

Anonymous's picture

I love to cut a big one in one of the big box stores and sit back and watch the unknowns walk into this wall of puke.

Anonymous's picture

I like smelly Kelly. Too funny.

Anonymous's picture

I like to fart on airplanes after eating a Big Mac. The confined space and high altitude combine to give these McDonald's farts the extra kick they need to ensure that everyone has a memorable vacation. The background noise is also excellent for stealth.

Anonymous's picture

A few years back my fairly new boyfriend took me away on a mini trip to a fancy ski area. He was so taken with me he would say that's not so bad when I let one slip, I was passing gas that made me sick,like peel the wallpaper bad. Maybe it was nerves.... So on our 2nd night there we saw that the James Montgomery band was playing at one of the night clubs at the resort. I was wearing a smoking sexy outfit and looking forward cutting up the dance floor. Well the band broke into this one song that they kept jamming till the dancers dropped out from exhaustion , lol but honestly my BF and i where the winner's because my ungodly exhaust cleared everyone from the dance floor they all moved to the other side of the room.While everyone looked on at my BF thinking he was the culprit it took all my power to not crack up,now after being together for 3yrs my BF isn't as kind about. He will go sleep on the couch and tell me what a jerk I am.... I think he just jealous he can't compete with my paint peeler stench !!!!

Anonymous's picture

A couple of years ago our family had a wedding at a bed and breakfast type place down in Virginia. It was a nice place with 4-5 separate houses and one giant house where all the meals were served. My brother-in-law brought some of his home-made beer and we stayed up until the wee hours partaking in various kinds of beers. Then next morning rolls around and i am RANK. I squeaked one out in the bathroom and about gagged. Anywho, we all meet down in the big house for breakfast and most everyone was already there so we sat in a separate room by ourselves. We sat there for 2 min and the next thing i know i've gotta blast one. It was an SBD and it felt like it burnt a hole in the seat it was so hot. I just get a whif of it and the waitress walks around the corner. So, i do what any friend would do, i stand up quickly and say i have to use the restroom, be right back, get me and OJ hahahaha. I come back in 5 min and the bro-in-law is calling me every name in the book. She was pouring his coffee when it hit her hahaha. She wouldn't look at him the rest of the weekend. It was one of my finer moments!

Anonymous's picture

I was at a Rush concert last September and the man beside me was easily 350+ lbs. I knew thing weren't going to go great when he pulled out the sushi he had managed to sneak in and went to town on it....about 3 songs into the show a very pungent foul smell engulfed the area....I figured 5 minutes couldn't be so bad....10 minutes later....another....intermission rolls around so I bought some nachos and caught my breath...concert resumes....the man got 6 hotdogs and nachos(with jalapeños). Another song and a hell of alot of fumes....he was putting out so much ferocious gas that I started dry heaving. I then went to the bathroom and actually somewhat enjoyed the smell of 600 mens shit over this guy...

Anonymous's picture

I was actually running on a indoor track and i had a stomach virus, i completely cleared the track. Everyone started to leave.

Anonymous's picture

Hey gang guy's lads whatever I can call yous.I was in a cafe with a pommy bloke a pom friend having tea- coffee - cake. There were about 8 people in the cafe including myself and my pommy friend. We were having our coffee as you do when gowd blymie I felt a smelly fart cummin along.

So like a silly pratt I tried to hold the bastard. I was screwing up my face trying to hold it and alady was sitting right behind me at another table. My pommy friend is looking at me trying to work out why i was screwing up my face.

Then all of a sudden the lady behind me bent over to pick up her bag and her nose was close to my butt. I could not hold the little blighter any longer and wham she coppeed the bloomn lot. My fart. It was so loud that you could of burst your ear drums.

My Pommy mate was laughing so loud untill he smelt the smell everyone went outside coughing and spluttering embarising! When like a silly nuffe i sniffed the air i nearly died it was so bad and it took 1 hour for the smell to go. It smelt like a rotten fish-meat-tip-egg dead body. Really embarrising.

My mate is no longer here on this earth to back my story up but it was true as true.

Anonymous's picture

i once farted in a hotel room in paris and my mate actually threw up

Anonymous's picture

Anything with Carnation Instant Breakfast = bad.

Anonymous's picture

haha smelly kelly you should deff post some more stories because i about peed my pants four times!

Anonymous's picture

One night before I went to bed I decided to drink about 2 huge cups of milk, little did I know I'm lactose intollerant. But after drinking all that milk I proceeded to climb in bed and fall asleep. I was awakened around 5 in the morning by what sounded like an elephant seal orgy coming from my stomach. For the next hour I let lose some of the nastiest farts ever, they would have gagged a maggot. I let lose around 40 of them throughout the hour, well my door was closed and I eventually got used to the smell. My grandmother comes in about 5 minutes after the last fart, and as soon as she opened the door she screamed so loud that the whole family was woken up. I then got sprayed with febreeze and had to sleep the rest of the morning with my windows open. It was 12 degrees outside:(

Anonymous's picture

Ok, I gotta tell mine lol.. My husband and I went to a Wendys and we had not been eating well all that week we were in the middle of moving so eating out a lot... Well I had to fart and I did it in the doorway which had two doors one outside and then one inside so there is a little box in between lol.. Well anyway we left and we were sitting in our car and we seen a guy walk into the Wendys and we seen the look on his face and omg it was priceless... He looked like he was gonna die.. He went all the way in and then turned around and left.. it must have followed him and he thought it was the restaurant maybe IDK but omg that was sooo funny.. I kinda felt bad for him, but who knows maybe I saved his life cause he can no longer eat Wendys lol... OMG I have been laughing so hard while writing this. It was the look his face and I know it was bad my husband couldnt believe how bad they were... I guess I cant handle all that crap food.

Anonymous's picture

Alright well I never thought i'd be commenting on poopreport after reading some of those stories I have to.

So I was going down to my local ice rink to pick up my little brother after hockey. So there I am cranking music, rocking back and forth like a crazy person, enjoying life. Suddenly I got a gut rumbler, but to my instant satisfaction it moved south and I was in control of the deadly gas. I held it till peak pressure was achieved, and BOOOOM. I was pretty happy with myself until I saw my girlfriends mom walk out of the bank infront of me. As she walked around the side of the car waving, I was in shock. To my horror she wanted me to roll down the window and chat. So I did. She then turned around and left without saying anything to me. That whole week was just awkward...

Anonymous's picture

when i went on the big one ' a roller coaster in blackpool i broke wind silently and the smell was the worst in my history of toxic odours.. It was while we were climbing up the 1st rise nearing the top. I was in the front car so there was no escape for anyone. As the smell assailed each nostril sounds of displeasure were heard then borking and moaning. That gave way to laughter when i asked is that the smel of fear ha ha ha ha ha l

Anonymous's picture

I was at a bar and the 350 pound bouncer let one go on the patio and a bunch of people started puking and the bar was cleared out in seconds!

Anonymous's picture

I was at a hardcore punk show with my friends, the place was small, packed, the music and A/C were both blasting! My friend and I managed to position ourselves just in front of the dance floor, I accidentally let one rip, and oh man!! It spread like a wildfire, the entire joint emptied Except for the band that was still playing, now a slower tempo due to my works. That thing smelled horrible! Everybody including me went outside still confused about the smell, but I just couldn't hold it in anymore I started laughing uncontrollably, OUT LOUD!!!

It was so funny, but we had just had Taco Bell.

Anonymous's picture

Indian takeaway few beers and then a fry up in the morning and your set for the day :)

Anonymous's picture

I am dying over here as I go down through these comments. Here is my 2 cents, recently in a pick up basketball game we where down court on defense and I let one rip and 4 seconds later I move from that spot and up to the three point line next thing I know they stopped the game and everyone started pointing finger so I put on the most serious face and started pointing fingers just like everyone else.

And once upon a time family vacation in Orlando Islands of Adventure all the boys were together, everyone knows how long those lines are so we walking our way up towards The Incredible Hulk ride and some one in our group let one go and the finger pointing started again they say it was me but really it wasn't me but little did they know their wish was bound to come true nearly 10 minutes later one came into me and I busted it out, it was like a ninja very silent but man was it deadly. When the fumes finally spread out to air you should have seen everyone faces that was around us it was priceless one guy pull up the neck of his t shirt and cover up his nose. I have never laugh so hard in my life, even the victims were laughing too because it was such a funny situation.

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