You can't stand the smell of your own farts? They must really be toxic. Most people don't mind the smell of their own farts, as the late great George Carlin once said.

This could actually be useful in certain situations, like when you're standing in a long line at a store or bank, or when you have guests at your house that you wish would just go home.

My farts are rancid but I enjoy them! Thats why I am so Thunderous.
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The Thunderous Crapper 63 Enjoying home toilet advantage since 2004!

I picked the user name ChiefThunderbutt because my flatulance is the stuff legends are made of. I was told by a friend when in the Air Force, "If you were an indian your name would be Thunder Butt."

I take pride in my farts and love the really stinky ones the best. I enjoy them even more when I am able to share them with others.

I have shared them through devious means a few times. I was once expelled from the control tower cab in which I worked because of my gas. The watch supervisor sent me down to the latrine and told me not to return until I had taken a shit. I continued down one more level to the room that contained the air conditioner, I climbed into a chair and farted into the air return vent. The crew was huddled around the vents in the tower cab getting fresh air. It made me very happy when I heard their voices coming down through the vent, "God damn, it smells worse over here."

Stinky butt,you have been blessed with a great gift. Learn to enjoy it.

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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Sorry I got your name wrong, I should have said smellyass rather than stinky butt, but a rose by any other name smells just as sweet.

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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

I love it when my farts smell that bad. I like to pass by my kid's room, let one loose, and yell "Bask in the aroma".A few minutes later they come out screaming.Usually yelling something like "Damn it Dad,the whole house smells like shit!

I love to fart, the bigger and stinkier the better. It just feels good.

Try some of those green guacamoli chips, eat as much as you can. I'm suprised the EPA didn't come after me that day.

I buy artichokes about once a month and make either artichoke dip or just eat the leaves after they've been steamed.

It's best to use an artichoke as as soon as you get it home. Cut off the top inch of it and, using good scissors, cut of the tips of all the leaves that you can see on the outside.

With lightly salted water, simmer the artichoke or steam it until the leaves are tender, which can be from twenty to thirty minutes. Immediately remove it from the water, drain, and then cut it in half. Pull the hard bristles off the heart, and with a good knife, press it against the underside of the larger leaves towards the bottom of each one - the pulp will come out and some of the inside leave fiber. With this and the heart, you can get roughly a half cup of eatable stuff from an artichoke.

Butter, or lemon and butter, or lightly sauted with olive oil and butter, then baked with salt and parmisgan, they're a nice twist to the normal diet of veggies.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

I agree with motherload about the beer thing. Certain types of beer, especially lighter beers that use corn in the malt like Rolling Rock can cause the most god-awful farts in the world.

You're right. Beer farts are by far the most god awful smelling things in the world. The only thing that may be worst are those rotten egg farts. I don't even like to be around myself when I experience those.

Daphne, I'm going to print that recipe for artichokes! That sounds so good!! Lately the only artichokes I've eaten have been in that spinach and artichoke dip. But that's loaded with dairy and gives me the most foul gas and explosive diarrhea. Besides, I'm looking for something lighter to eat while I try to slim down a little.

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Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

If I can find it, there's a recipe for spinach and artichoke dip with soft tofu and fake parmisan cheese that tastes really good but has no dairy at all. Give me a day to find it somewhere in the mess of that pantry.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

For the most wonderful smelling of all possible farts you must eat "gyoza",
small meat dumplings (your choice of flesh)
with lots of cabbage, garlic and onion. These little gems can be steamed but are much better pan fried. They are dipped in a mixture of soy sauce, sesame oil, rice vinegar and chili pepper. They should be washed down with prodigious quantities of beer.

The farts that ooze from your anus several hours later will be hot and rancid. Those who are around you will be highly entertained. Daphne....if you read this you can also make a veggie version of gyoza.
It's kind of a Japanese version of shumai.

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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

I've found that starchy/carb loaded foods are more inclined to make people fart.
Heck, I didn't know I had lactose intolerance until I told my doctor I had really stinky farts (accompanied with bowel pain also). She asked me to stop having milk products for a week and the stinky farts went away!'
Also, I've read that cumin helps combat gas, so a word to the wise!
=)

My problem is like 'Smelly Ass',i eat healthy, excerise- all the things you should do apart from i have this awful smelling flatulence that is unbearable. I have tried going on specific diets that limit me to certain foods but nothing seems to be reducing this offensive gas!

I heard of this underwear, Shreddies, that eliminates the odour so you cant smell a thing. I brought a pair to see how they work as for me I'm in desperate need of help! Up to press, touch wood, they are amazing! You literally can't smell anything- would recommend to those with the same problem.

Search for 'My Shreddies' and it should come up with the web address. Hope this helps you guys!

I have been suffering with IBS for a number of years with having abdominal pain in my left side around lower back and left rib cage mainly. I have tried many herbal remedies and been to the doctors so many times I just forget how many it is now! I was loosing hope and thought there was no cure for IBS sufferers. I really find it hard to also stick to a particular diet aswell. I seem to also have very bad gas which is extremly embarrassing, especially when I am in a meeting at work or I have to visit the dentist or something.

I recently came across these shreddies underwear! I was so shocked when I saw what they did and how they worked on my local East Midlands news. I thought that is was a big mystery and I was intrigued to find out what they did so I bought some. They really do work! I can't believe how much my life has changed in a short space of time due to wearing this underwear. I hope that all sufferers in my situation are able to come across this amazing invention! I got them off the internet- where I do most of my research for my IBS problem. They truely are the best rememedy I have come across by far!

WTF!!!!! I just had a bowl of "Shreddies" for breakfast. I feel sick.

Do you eat other types of clothing as well, pd - or just your undies?

I will occasionally eat a ski parka when I'm trying to fatten up for my winter jaunt to Nome.

The artichokes work! Yesterday I woke up with really baaaad gas. The kind like unto the power to kill donkeys with. Bad, bad, bad - tear jerkers - all day long. So I tried the artichokes for dinner. It was a complete success. The gas continues, but without the reek. Thank you Motherlode.

Curse you Motherload....you have deprived the world of the stench it so much deserves.
I personally wear a brand of underwear called "stinkies". Stinkies, through the marvels of modern technology, increase the stench of you farts by a factor of ten.

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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Chief, do you fish the "stinkies" from the outhouse and wear them wet, or do you dry them first.