my farts smell really bad

// // 329 Comments
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb
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Motherload offers some odor-reducing tips.Smellyass Asks:

I have the worst smelling farts of anyone I know. Even I can't stand the smell. I want to know how I can get rid of the terrible odor that comes out of me. Could there be anything wrong with me to be causing this terrible smell?

I eat a balanced diet with no excess of anything I can think of. What could be the cause??


Dear Smellyass,

Some folks' opinion of a "balanced diet" really don't meet all the good health standards that are usually implied with the term. Just because you don't eat any one thing in excess does not mean that all the stuff you are eating equal parts of are really that good for you.

Gas does tend to stink more when the farter consumes foods that are either not so good for them (such as high-fat fried foods, sugary confections, and carbonated beverages such as sodas and beer) or things that disagree with them (such as foods they are allergic to or intolerant of, like dairy or wheat products).

Illness can also be a contributing factor in the scent and intensity of the flatulent odor. Celiac disease, diverticulitis, colitis, bacterial overgrowth/imbalance, and even cancer could be the cause of some really smelly fumes.

Here are some tips from Kendra Dahlstrom of eHow to try to make your farts less stinky:

1) Try cutting out the dairy in your diet. This seems quite drastic, but an excess of milk and dairy products in the diet can cause extra smelly gas. If your gas odor has not severely declined within two or three days without dairy, go ahead and add it back into your diet.

2) Decrease your intake of oily, fatty, fried foods. Not only is this bad for your gas, but greasy foods are also horrible for your health. Do everyone (including yourself) a favor, and cut them out of your diet.

3) Eat artichokes. Artichokes have the strange ability of neutralizing gastrointestinal odors. Although this is not a commonly eaten food, try to incorporate it into your diet.

4) Eliminate all carbonated beverages from your diet, including pop and beer. Carbonation tends to exacerbate the odor of gas. Again, if this does not improve the odor within a few days, you may go ahead and add them back to your diet.

5) Cook your vegetables before you eat. It's extremely easy to grab a handful of baby carrots or broccoli florets for a snack. Unfortunately, your digestive system has a more difficult time breaking down raw vegetables than it does digesting cooked vegetables. Make sure all roughage you put into your stomach is cooked, and your gas odor should improve.

Hope these tips help. If not, you could get you some of those activated charcoal underwear inserts and just fart away without worrying about the smell. Here is one good offer on them: Charcoal Underwear.

Thanks for asking Motherload!

Motherload is Certified Nurse Assistant as well as an IBS sufferer, which means she knows a lot about poop. Got a question for her? Ask it here.

329 Comments on "my farts smell really bad"

FARTER3000's picture

SO I HAVE BEEN WORKING OUT FOR A WHILE NOW AND TAKING A BUNCH OF DIFFERENT VITAMINS AND SUPPLEMENTS TO KEEP MY ENERGY UP AND STUFF. CLA, COQ10, C, B, OTHER STUFF... ANYWAY, I USED TO TAKE WHEY PROTEIN BUT THEN I STARTED GETTING CONSTIPATED AND THINGS LIKE THAT SO I STOPPED AND TRIED TO GET PROTEIN FROM NATURAL SOURCES AND THINGS. THEN I STARTED FEELING CONSTIPATED, MAYBE A WEEK OR SO AGO, SO I TRIED TO GET THE POO MOVING AGAIN BY EATING BANANAS, APPLES, KEFIR... BUT THE POOP ISN'T MOVING, AND THE FARTS ARE AWFUL. I FEEL ALL STOPPED UP ALL THE TIME AND I SMELL LIKE GOD HATES ME. SOMEONE, MAYBE A HOMEOPATHIC REMEDY FOR CONSTIPATION AND THINGS LIKE IT? ANYONE? I WANNA POOP ALL THE TIME AND I CAN'T!!!

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

Looks like your Caps Lock is stuck also.

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

If his poop is as big as his words, he's fucked.

Farter 3000, try glycerin suppositories. They're really cheap and you can buy them at Wal Mart. I've never had them fail.

Best wishes you brawny fuck.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

FARTER3000's picture

YEAH, IM SO CONSTIPATED, EVEN THE CAPS LOCK WON'T TURN OFF.

I READ SOMETHING IN THE THREAD, AND I THINK THE KEFIR IS THE CULPRIT IN MY CASE. THEY PUT THIS STUFF CALLED INULUM IN IT AND I DONT THINK MY BODY CAN HANDLE THAT STUFF. THE MORE IM GASSY AND CAN'T POO, THE MORE KEFIR I TAKE BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS SUPPOSED TO MAKE YOU PASS THE WONDERFUL STOOL NATURALLY. I THINK I WAS WRONG. I ALSO THINK THAT I HAVE TOO MUCH PROBIOTIC BACTERIA IN MY SYSTEM, HENCE THE GOD AWFUL SMELL OF MY FARTS. I HOPE MY INFERENCE IS CORRECT, I DONT WANNA BE EMBARRASSED ANYMORE. THANKS GUYS FOR THE HELP... IM WORKING ON THE CAPSLOCK PROBLEM BTW, MY COMPUTER IS JUST SO CONSTIPATED AND ANGRY RIGHT NOW THAT I CAN'T CALM IT DOWN.

FARTER3000's picture

no one? is there no one else? i fixed my capslock dilema and the massive rat killing reek out my ass has subsided. thank God for magnesium citrate and a large toilet bowl. someone, another freaking funny farting story! please!

FARTER3000's picture

i've been taking flax in the morning and at night and have noticed 100% improvement of everything gi related. i have been shitting about two times a day which feels so much better than what i used to be like. thanks to all for the help! long live the good shit

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

FARTER3000, I don't think it's the flax or the magnesium citrate. Your problem improved as soon as you un-stuck your caps lock. Now work on capital letters and proper punctuation and you should be shitting like a race horse.

PD,
Rocket scientist

Bender's picture

I farted once after drinking beer and all sorts of crazy concoctions and made my brother-in-law throw up!

Anonymous Coward's picture

Comedian Franklyn Ajaye said that when he was younger, he would go down to FatBurger and order a Double King Chili Cheese burger, then go home and blow the covers off his bed.

Old Fart's picture

Here a short poem I wrote about letting one rip. Hope you enjoy it

Title. The Gas

As I lay on the couch the pressure was felt
To suddenly let rip, man it sure smelt
The dog moved away as the odour did rise
So I opened the window and let it outside

About the same time an old friend did call
I felt so ashamed I hid behind the door
Did not let her in on account of the stink
I was worried about what she might think

A little while later the pressure was back
To let out another from my poor crack
Too late did I realise that I needed a pooh
Sure in trouble when I followed through

Ran to the bathroom holding my arse
Once over fifty you can’t trust a fart
When this happens you feel such a twit
Having to wash undies covered in sh-t

Italian pUzza's picture

If you drink only protein shakes for meals, you will fart some wonderful rotten-eggs poisons out of your butt.

I learned it from experience

Shavedman's picture

Hi folks

Having just discovered this site, here is a little poem that I wrote some time ago and is very appropriate.

Title. The Gas

As I lay on the couch the pressure was felt
To suddenly let rip, man it sure smelt
The dog moved away as the odour did rise
So I opened the window and let it outside

About the same time an old friend did call
I felt so ashamed I hid behind the door
Did not let her in on account of the stink
I was worried about what she might think

A little while later the pressure was back
To let out another from my poor crack
Too late did I realise that I needed a pooh
Sure in trouble when I followed through

Ran to the bathroom holding my arse
Once over fifty you can’t trust a fart
When this happens you feel such a twit
Having to wash undies covered in sh-t

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

I tried to keep my farts to a minimum yesterday since it was my dear wife's birthday. I felt a little pressure after breakfast but abstained from venting it until I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth. It was not a particularly large fart but did make a strange wet "splorting" noise as it exited my anus.

God!! What a stench!! My eyes were watering!! I opened the window to let it escape to the great al fresco and then wiped my ass just to be on the safe side.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

SirPoopAlot6969's picture

im thinking of starting a website where people can buy canned farts. so i need a lot of people to work for me in order to provide my customers with a wide variety of farts, sort of like 31 flavors, that type of thing.... of course if your interested you would have to send in a notarized "sample" fart to the home office in Sarasota Florida with a description of what notes of aroma you think are in the bouquet ex. heavy tannins and subtle hints of hazelnut.... serious inquires only

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

PoopAlot....I will have to pass on your offer...the last time I sent a fart sample through the mail I was warned and told how severe the penalties could be for mailing bio-hazardous materials.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

ChiliKahKah's picture
j 1000+ points

Juar enjoy the smell.

Ill Wind's picture

my exgirlfriend reckoned her dad used to blow holes in the back of his y-fronts. i told her that wasn't possible but apparently her uncle can do it too.

I'm stinky too's picture

Oh I totally disagree with this article, at least the fast food and soda part. I used to LIVE on McDonalds morning, noon and night and my farts never stunk that bad. My doctor said my cholesterol and eat healthy. My diet now is fish, veggies, water. And my ass stinks to high hell. Seems like the healthier you eat, the worse farts smell.

IBS NO MORE's picture
k 500+ points

StinkyToo -- that hasn't been my experience at all... now that I'm eating healthier, my farts and poop both have almost no odor, whereas before they were so bad I couldn't even stand them myself. Maybe you're not doing it right.

_______
How I beat IBS

When you say the word “poop,” your mouth makes the same motion your butthole does when pooping…
The same can be said for the phrase “explosive diarrhea.”

The Bones of Baby Dolls's picture

Finally! People who I can relate to. My lethal farts can "strip the varnish off a foot locker" and "end a marriage" like the late George Carlin once said. I take great pride in clearing out entire rooms with the wretchedness of my farts. I especially love the ones that smell like methane gas, you know, those warm silent ones that sound like your asshole is sighing. When I fart in the car, I roll up the windows and bask in the stench. My bf HATES when I fart, and gets PISSED if I do it near him. He calls me "Willie Gwonka" on account of my farts making a "Gwonk" sound. Today, I made Ramen noodles with cabbage, onion, green onion, tons of garlic, ginger, jalapeno, and Japanese peppers. Cabbage, onion, and garlic individually give me the worst gas. The trifecta yields toxic farts that could gag a maggot.

Bad Air's picture

Haha love this site.
So basically, I'm the empress of SBD's. I walk around my art class during critiques dropping them off by my competition. I love when I can hear them sniff and they try to discreetly glance around to see who did it. I've been leaving RANK Chinese food farts in my housemate's room and the hallway all day! She didn't say anything, and I never admit to my gag-worthy pungent farts, but there were only two of us in the room so....
wasn't me! wahahaha!

StankassSHEWwhee!!'s picture

Ok so, im 14 years old and i am female...it's really embarassing when i'm sitting in math class and have to rip a BIG ONE!!! I mean i want to kow how to get rid of this prolem because it happens all day everyday, when i'm sitting in class my stomach rumbles because i want to fart SO BAD!!! I know this is funny but i really have a problem..and when i fart, it clears the whole room...my family members yell at me or say OMG because its soooo bad!!! Idk wht else to do...i havent tried anything because idk what to try, can someone give me any advice!!!

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Dear Stankass......You should not fart in math class, save your farts for English class and hope that they drive all the other students out of the room so your teacher can devote a little extra time to tutoring you on spelling.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

ToxicShock's picture

My farts have ALWAYS been lethal. Knowing this fact I tried to wean my kids on the odor so they wouldn’t freak out when they got older. When I nursed them I would freely let em rip. My farts didn’t phase them then, but now they are teenagers and crucify me whenever I let one slip.

StankassSHEWwhee!! 's picture

Dear CheifThunderbutt...if you had any idea what century it is in todays time you would know that most teenagers my age like to write like they text (if you kow what texting even is) and i make all A's on my spelling test and i make pretty good grades in English, so thanks I dont need to be tutored in spelling....thanks for the advice though!!!

ChiliKahKah's picture
j 1000+ points

Get a St Bernard and then blame the farts on it !

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

Put it on ice, there, Stankass. If you post poorly-written comments, you're going to get hashed for it. I'm glad you get good grades in school. Why don't you use those skills here?


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Dear Stankass....My grandson is a teenager and he writes in excellent English rather than textspeak....that could be one of the reasons he received enough scholarships to attend a prestigious private college. Do like Daphne suggests and use your language skills when posting for the public to read. Save your textspeak for your cell phone, but not while you're driving.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

StankassSHEWwheesameone's picture

Well good for your grandson but teenagers like to also use their text talk for computers to its called IMing...and honestly if you were a grown man why are you sitting here arguing with a 14 year old???...i'm done with this...have a nice life!!!

Anonymous Coward's picture

They are SUPPOSED to smell bad, they are FARTS, duhhhhhhh.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Dear Stankass......I hope you enjoy frying hamburgers and saying, "you want fries with that?" You seem to be intellectually suited for such an occupation. Have a fun life.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

sir farts a lot's picture

first time poster long time farter. Things got real bad, at work I would go on fart walks and crop dust. The smell was just amazing and could hang in the air for several minutes. I would fart outside in the wind and it was still bad. Then one day by accident I found out i have Crones Colitis. My Dr recomended acidophilus I still fart 20 or 30 times a day but the smell is just average now. So I guess what i am saying my flatulent friends is try some acidophilus and feel free to fart at will.

StankassSHEWWheeeee's picture

Actually I'm going to be going to college like your "grandson" since you insist on bragging about how he's in college. And I'm having a nice life right now thanks for being so considerate...why don't you let me know if I spelled that wrong to, since you insist on being the "spelling bee champ"...goodness....I've never met someone that worries so much about how OTHER people spell things...wow thats kind of pathetic....people make mistakes when typing and I use text talk for alot of things.

PoisonousGas's picture

Just want to point out CheifThunderbutt is God. Extremely funny.

I don’t want to brag, but my products are indeed “room-clearers” too. I unleashed one of my special brands as my girlfriend and I danced in a big crowd that night. The crowd reacted fast. 4 seconds later… Still dancing, I looked around to find my girlfriend and I, the only ones surrounded by a circle of people fanning their nose. We both felt special because we were the center of attention. I was slightly embarrassed, but we owned that song for that night. Pwned! (Hot girlfriend has stuffy nose that night)

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Stankass, my young friend.....Text talk is for texting not for making comments in various forums on the internet. I am happy that you will be attending college but I can assure you that your teachers in college will expect you to use the beautiful English language correctly and respectfully. Typos will slip by the most careful writer but they should be few and far between.

By the way, you used the word "to" when you actually should have used the word "too", there is a major difference in meaning between the two. Use you spell check always when posting things for the general public to read.

I point out mistakes because I am a moderator on this forum and one of my duties is to correct, or at least point out, poor usage of the language. I don't think this is pathetic at all, I think someone expecting others to adjust to their poor spelling or syntax would be more fitting of the word "pathetic"

Kurt Vonnegut, you may be required to read his works in a college literature class, pointed out writing as the greatest invention in human history. With only a few over 40 little symbols placed on paper in various combinations and in different order the whole of mankind's history and achievement can be displayed for others, who understand the code, to marvel over.

In closing I sincerely wish you a great life but respectively remind you that your mastery of writing and reading skills will play a major role in your success or failure in college. Pay attention to rhetoric, spelling, punctuation and syntax and you should do well.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Annoy Mouse Cow Aardvark's picture

I have rancid farts. So naturally, when I let one loose I hope it's silent. No, not so nobody traces the sound back to me, but this way I can say, "It smells like cookies!" and watch everybody take a big wiff.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Annoy Mouse Cow Aardvark......You are an interesting creature....capable of spelling words like "aardvark" but totally at a loss when it comes to simple words like "whiff". If you had your spell check on you would have noticed that there is no such word as wiff.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

PoisonousGas's picture

I found this page because I was worried about my farting issues. Tomorrow I’m going to the doctors to get diagnose. I am not sure what kind of super power I posses, but my girlfriend was threatening to leave me because my farts are too strong. I swear, its bad; one time the stink totally confused my friend’s English. He quoted, “Dude, It sfells like smart”

Deja Poo's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

Good gawd, I'm glad that I'm not alone. Not only do my farts stink, they stink like shit as well.
_______
Yo quiero Taco Bell.

Yo quiero Taco Bell.

IBS NO MORE's picture
k 500+ points

Eating starches, sweets, and animal proteins separately from each other by at least 3 hours will almost immediately decrease the stank content of anyone's gaseous output.

_______
Open your eyes AND your mind to the power of food!
Health via Food (scroll down to read by chapter)

When you say the word “poop,” your mouth makes the same motion your butthole does when pooping…
The same can be said for the phrase “explosive diarrhea.”

Pope Benedict XVI's picture

Well.....I guess I am going to have to stop putting pate on my Jesus crackers and washing them down with nice sweet Kosher wine...that will be quite the bummer. Just yesterday I was told by a few of my trusty Cardinals, "Your eminence, your farts are so rank we are reminded of the sulfur reeking regions of Hell."
Thanks for your timely advice IBS no more. May you always poop in peace.

Anonymous Coward's picture

David
My farts smell terrible. My friend and my mom just about threw up because of the odor. It smelled like diarhea. THey have a blast radius of around 10 feet and I want to know why .
Thanks

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Dear David......I also would be concerned if my farts only had a blast radius of 10 feet. Perhaps if you add more moldy cabbage, fermented garlic and beans to your diet you can move up to a more respectable blast radius and make your mom and your friends vomit for real. Best of luck to ya.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Anonymous Coward's picture

My boyfriend finds it gross when i fart in his face i think its fun and intimate

Friendly neighborhood spiderman's picture

According to Ayurveda you have symptoms of "ama" undigested food in the gut. Whatever other symptoms/problems arise it is due to weak or irregular digestive capability. There is a great formula called "Trikatu" the three spices you can find it at most health food stores. I would take quite a few capsules of this with water and stop eating for awhile, perhaps even fasting a couple of days. If you can't find this formula you can try making it yourself, the three spices are black pepper, indian long pepper and ginger. If you want an even stronger formula you could include cayenne pepper but isn't necessary. Best of luck.

Anonymous Reader's picture

Chief,

"Use you spell check always when posting things for the general public to read."

It should have been 'your' instead of 'you'.

Your comments are creative, witty and very humorous, but your criticism of that young girl was very unnecessary. Just thought you should know.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Dear AR.....could you be more specific and tell me to which post you are referring. By the way, spell check will correct neither "you" nor "your" because they are both spelled correctly.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Diarrhea Pants's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

My farts smell worse than yours! I once farted in class. Everyone was stunk out!

_______
You don't feel like a winner when your butt blows out your dinner.

You don't feel like a winner when your butt blows out your dinner.

Strunk & White's picture

I see how it is. ChiefThunderbutt is allowed to harangue others for their grammatical imperfections, but I point out his mistakes and my comment gets deleted. Hey Chief: you took out the extra "which", but your ellipses are still screwed up.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Dear Strunk and White Troll.....If you want to be critical of the site you should register. We have a flames forum in the back where you can say nasty things about me to your heart's content. What it boils down to is, you are a guest, I am a moderator. Now...do you have anything humorous to say? This is what the site is for, it is not for flame wars. So as politely as I can say it, go fuck yourself.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

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