how does spicy food cause the shits?

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l 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb
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My Shihtzu has a habit of picking her poop up off her poopy pad and carrying it somewhere else in the house and hiding it. The vet told me this is some sort of protective maternal thing that spayed female dogs do. But the real problem is my toddler now copies the pooch and is carrying his turds in his mouth and hiding them under his bed. Should I be worried about this behavior, or do you think it's just a phase?




Dr. Adams responds:


I am actually horrified that someone could be stupid enough to ask me this question!

Let me make sure I am clear here. You are asking me if I think you should be worried about your toddler carrying dog feces in his mouth???

First off, the fact that you could ask this question indicates to me that you are not fit to be a parent and pose a danger to the health and well being of your toddler. If you came to me in person and actually asked me this question, I would call the police and have you arrested for child abuse.

So obviously, the answer to your question is that your toddler should not be anywhere NEAR the dog feces. Dog feces are dangerous to all humans, especially little ones who do not have fully developed immune systems.

-- Dr. Adams

_________________

Dr. Adams is a resident in the Department of Internal Medicine at North Shore University Hopsital in Manhasset, NY. Got a question for him?












150 Comments on "how does spicy food cause the shits?"

johnjohn's picture
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Spicy food especially Mexican is a great laxative for me. 99% guaranteed perfect dump next day or close to it, and/or at least relief if felling plugged up.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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I had a delicious pad prik king (thai chilli and lime leaf stirfry) for diner last night, and washed it down with about 4 beers. Today 7am I had a very uncomfortable wait for the toilet, where I did the first of 5 incredibly painful shits today. The burn is incredible when you are doing them, but the relief when you finish is so good I was almost giggling from the pure joy of not shitting fire water.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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This is a serious question... I absolutely adore chilli but am concerned about whether there is any damage done to ones colon or anus during the "burning" stage... can anyone pls give me a serious answer.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
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AC.....I can speak from personal experience that no damage seems to be done. I have consumed Vietnamese, Thai, Laotian, Korean and Mexican food for years and have noticed no deterioration or loss of any ability to rid my body of waste on the part of my anus.

After a few years of exposure to searing foods the adaptable asshole almost totally gives up on sending those distress signals to the brain. Now if you will excuse me I am off to slather my breakfast eggs with habanero hot sauce.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Squat-n-leaveit's picture
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Quite the opposite AC. It is actually good for the guts. Check out the lemon clense and read our dearest darling Daphne's report on the cleanse.

Red Shitz's picture
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I just took a large, gurgly dump with alot of bright red blood. Could it be the "spaghetti vesuvious" I ate last night with a bottle of wine. Now my sphincter is throbbing sore. I need to cut out the hot sauce!

it burns dam it's picture
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oh man. I like to put about 5-8 habanero's with soy sauce and chicken and as delicious as it is, my stomach and O ring will unrelentlessly complain.
funniest comment so far:
I eat spicy foods. I do not have the shits. I do not carry my shit in my mouth. I am scared shitless of you people. Someone help me.

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
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I'm not quite sure how the question about dog poop got transmogrified into one about spicy foods. I did finally see Sindy's comment and lamed it--mercy! As for the spicy foods, we had some curry a couple of days ago made for us by a Vietnamese lady we know well; it was enough to make our heads sweat within 5 minutes. Fully normal bowel movements thereafter, no burning whatever. In my case, I believe the hot stuff in the spices gets digested along with everything else and is no longer hot by the time the turds it forms leave me.

ChiliKahKah's picture
j 1000+ points
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At a minimu, spicy foods will make you feel it when you poop them !

Eat Spicy Cheese Poop FIRE's picture
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Wow Funny Stuff til your shiting inside a walmart bag in the homies garage from eating bufflo wings and pizza and a night of smoking weed watchin TV so I ate some more pizza Cold this time and when morning came OH No my o-ring was on fire and it smelled like little ceasers pizza and then 10 mins later round 2 in the bathroom the shit was liquid magma had to put warm sink water on toliet paper with out moving on toilet (Fantastic 4 man arms) and start thinking about a hot shower to rinse off the any paper balls @ hot sauce residue. The warm shower made my butt hole 50 percent better then i made sureI ate just bread and turkey to get my stomach back in order so when I shit the next time it would be more log and non spicy I hope my story keeps your Ass Safe, Just Eat subway pass on 5 dollar pizzas at Little Ceasear Pizza Its called $5Hot and Ready for a reason!

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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Eat Spicy...you ought to trying cutting back on the weed a little, and try rediscovering periods, commas, et al.

_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

Squat-n-leaveit's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points
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In all reality, chances are that spicy food causes the shits because most people are chronically dehydrated. The heat causes you to drink more, and the body happily puts that moisture to work doing the most important job first.

sittingpretty's picture
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In my case, I think the spicy food irritates the mucosa of my stomach and intestines. It probably burns my mucosa!!!
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Squat-n-leaveit's picture
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My dear SP. In homeopathy it is said that "likes cure likes." If you go to a naturopath with an ulcer, he may well prescribe cayenne tea. Capsicum has healing powers we are only now beginning to grasp.

Anonymous Robert's picture
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What the fuck is this place? Who the hell would make a site about poop? This is madness.

Squat-n-leaveit's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points
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Well, Robert... This sight is actually about poop, as opposed to others that claim they are about something else. Face it, politics is shit. Religious rhetoric is crap. Celebrity gossip is a steaming pile. Food is just pre-shit.
So the internet consists of poop and porn. Some of us get board with porn. (after checking it every day!)

 All BUMMED OUT's picture
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Just trying to find out what (exactly) my problem is.Been eating hotter than hot for over twenty years. Had plenty of hot shits along the way. Never any blood or other problems. Then one day I ate a tremendous amount of something hot, looked into the toilet and swear the lining to my intestines was in pieces there. From then on the shits got hotter and hotter, and have gotten to a point, where any kind of spice even in the mildest form causes me an allergic type reaction to them. IN the form of very small abrasions on my Rring (O) Ffire.Needless to say when a cut heals ,man it itches. All bummed out.I think I'll try some Metamucil.

Anonymous Person 94's picture
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I haven't eaten anything spicey but I was wondering what causes painful shits?Like your stomache starts hurting really bad outta the blue and ur on the pot for the next half hour sweating.When this happens to me I end up only getting 1 turd out or half a bowl full and I will actually start to gag and feel like I am going to puke.Although so far I haven't puked yet.I'd like a serious answer please this has been bugging me for a while and I can't find any good info on the topic.
Thanks

ChiliKahKah's picture
j 1000+ points
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Easy solution......DRINK MORE BEER WITH THE FOOD !

Big Baller 23's picture
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I eat Spicy foods and always get the ass burn with diahrea, to get rid of it I turn the shower on.. shit white then jump in the shower.. wait for the gurgling to start, then back to the toilet..
FFS burning ass hurts

steve 2188's picture
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I am on the crapper crying my ass off. I went to the jug handle in new jersey last night. I had 30 wings in their hottest sauce. The sauce is called "bald eagle". I am considering calling 911. I am light headed and my vision is blured. . . Holyshit. I am telling my self never again. But I know once I feel better, I will be back for more. . .

Dropped my phone. It's cracked now. . . .
Thanks a lot ass holes.

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points
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Harumph. Thank yourself. No one forced you to eat over-seasoned food that probably didn't even taste good because of your misguided male ego.

You need to apologize to your butthole.

_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Squat-n-leaveit's picture
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Actually, my dearest darling Daphne, the male misguided ego might be replaced with addiction. (this time!) If you eat something hot enough, the body goes into distress, and dumps huge amounts of endorphins (mother nature's morphine) onto the system. This guy is getting a heroin high on a habenero budget.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
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You are right on the money Squat.....My day after burning a-hole attacks are no worse than alcohol induced DTs or any other drug after effects.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Fastest Dump in the West's picture
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I was at the bar last night with some friends and we had a little contest to see who could eat the most hot wings (ironically enough they were "fire in the hole" flavor). All 3 of us had to run to the bathroom shortly thereafter but there was a little problem...the bar had a tiny little bathroom with one shitter in it that had chicken wire inside so you could only piss. My friends all ran out the door to find a place nearby but I knew I wasn't going to make it that far....I sat down on the toilet and unleashed the fury...and left a nice little surprise for the assholes working at the bar. I'm curious to see how long they leave the chicken wire in the commode...

kill me now...please's picture
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big night on the juice and the hot food and paying for it now.i whipped around quickly while on the shitter and swear i saw satan fucking grinning at me as he shot back into the inferno that was my ass!

Another Anonymous Coward (with a very burning o)'s picture
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tldr = kid fecals in mouth is troll no?; i just shat capsaicin fire repeatedly but it makes for an entertaining read, if you are into that shit ;)

first, kid putting fecals in his mouth... serious problem, yahhhh ya think? ... uhm how can that be a question? that is alot like asking, 'hey my kid is eating broken glass... thats okay huh?' or 'hey my kid is chugging gasoline... all good right?' i think it is of the internet form 'obvious troll is obvious'

second OMG this is a truly awesome thread! I laughed aloud for about a half hour over similar stories to my own experiences. my own most recent experience (steaming fresh - just happened) to follow.

i love spicy food but my S.O. dont. so my pepper intakes way down from what it was before marriage, and i am not as used to enjoying peppery food as i think. yesterday i ate only around a dozen tobasco peppers (louisiana original), and a couple table spoons of red rooster chili/garlic sauce with my very late lunch meal. (work nights at a hotel, night audit shift, so this late lunch was actually sometime after 6 pm) about 4 hours later, getting ready for work, taking the pre-requisite pre-work crap, get some burn, but not too bad, but the lingering indication is that the movement was incomplete.

2 hours after that, now about 6 hours since eating the peppers, it is a little after midnight, and i can feel the precursor of 'the shits' acoming. i take a couple imodiums and pray.

ten minutes and i am almost to faint holding back the impending disaster that is my butt volcano bout to blow. sweats, shakes, and oh the pressure and the already starting to burn of that pillar of firey poop trying to break out.

i can not walk. i must run to the public restroom at the other side of the hotel. and i cannot even walk. like a landlubber at sea, drenched in sweat, teeth clenched, buttocks too, clenched ironlock, rigormortis death grip clenched, holding the walls, crying, i barely make the 100 meter trek to the restroom.

and then, holy god the splashback explosion of capsaicin drenched but otherwise normal poop nuggets that shoot like torpedoes into the toilet and the devil firespew of it blistering, scalding, ffs, how does it burn so infernally.

after twenty minutes, excruciating bowel evacuation, ( during which there were three full bowl flushes , and a half roll of toilet paper ), hands washed, tears washed off my face, some composure returns. then my god the elation. the angels singing. i was done at last, thank heavens done with the capsaicin magma poop purge a thon.

so i return to the front desk in the lobby, and i am sitting there, (uncomfortably), feeling afterburn, but still almost high on the post poo-trauma adrenalin/endorphin elation. and i do a search of the net for 'does spicy food cause the shits'. and start trying to find something like an answer out of all tha shit posted on the internet. less than half an hour into the search i drift into a pleasant light sleep (night audit = hourly pay to surf the net, take a dump on the clock, and yah get zzz's too) but, alas, coiuple hours later rudely awakened, and there was round two, with another uncontrollable, gutwrenching fifteen minutes of fire poop at work.

finally, i got home and just in the door it was a third go, about 14 hours post pepper intake. during which i read this thread on my laptop and laughed my sore arse off. flushed the oring with this batch of colon product.

feeling much better now thank you

and thanks again for the shitty stories

damn it feels good to be done

oh wait - gdammit gotta go!! outta the way! outta the way dammit!

Anonymous Coward's picture
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I don't shit fire, I piss it. After eating really spicy food taking a piss hurts the tip of my wang. This is very short lived unless any gets under my foreskin. A little tiny part of a drop usually will. Thats enough to make the whole head of my schlong/foreskin burn like hell for a good ten minutes. Its worth it though. I love spicy food.

patty 's picture
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Okay, I have had bad stomach pain ever since I was a kid and the doc. just told me I was full of poop. Well the last time I had bad pain was like a year ago an now, about a month ago, I have been getting the runs with pain right before I go to the toilet. Just the other day I had a salami sandwich and the next day I was having the same problem. Today I didn't have any pain, I just had to go really bad an I had the runs. There were pieces of french fries in it that I had the night before from McDonalds. I have the same thing happen went I eat the fruit cups that are just oranges. My boss thinks I have irritable bowel syndrome.

What a knobb's picture
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Hahaha.. Im 19 years old and love spicy food!

My mates were all round mine last night and they were on about how I always eat really spicy food and one of my guy mates turned round saying he could eat a lot more spicy food than me.

We put it to the test, we each ate..

20 green chilli's
5 red chilli's
3 jalapeño peppers
vindaloo curry with extra spice
warmed up english mustard (2 tablespoons each)
a shot of tabasco sauce
a shot of Nando's Extra Extra Hot Peri-Peri Sauce with a table spoon of chili powder.

Sooo bloody stupidd lmaooo!
Can proudly say I won haha but I dont think it was worth the burning O Ring for an hour and a half this morning :(

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
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Sounds delicious knobb, Kinda like what I usually have for breakfast :)


_______
Dirty old men need love too!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

kevamiga's picture
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I fucking love hot food, vindaloo is my poison of choice. I have about one per week. The next day my guts gurgle and I need a monster shit, which goes like this. Shit one starts normal and about half way through the goey log gets hot as fuck, then about an hour later shit two is all hot, later in the day shit three is hot to start and tapers off... Only then do I know all the hot shit is out, my body runs cold and I return to normal. I love it!

Anonymous Coward's picture
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I drank 6 Heinikens last night. Then we got some medical marijuana called the cheese. Later we came up with a genius plan to order pizza hut meat lovers and hot wings. I woke up and had the craziest beer shits followed by a burning hot wing explosion. It felt like a campfire in my arsehole. Certainly not the kind you would wanna roast marshmallows by either.

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
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AC: Getting drunk, then stoned, and finally over-spiced--what consequences did you expect?

Anonymous Coward's picture
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I enjoy hot food, really hot spicy jalapeño type food. For ten years, I thought that I had ass-cancer because every time I ate hot food I pooped and there was always a lot of blood on the paper. Finally, I laid off the jalapeño natchos and No More Blood. Now if I indulge in always healthy 7-11 natchos with jalapeños--then there is blood again Does anyone have any insights?

HeAintRight's picture
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Okay, so this is the funniest shit I've seen in a while. Anyway, if you eat jalapeños, and your ass bleeds ONL when you do so, what exactly do you think the answer is? I know it, I know you do too! You could have an ulcer of some sort. Spicy foods do what? That's it! FLARE ulcers! Talk to a doctor before bad things happen. If you thought it was cancer, you should have gone LONG ago.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
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HeAintRight....Ulcers don't give you blood on your toilet paper, they give you black shit. If you have blood on the paper the bleeding is occurring much closer to the anus.

Your stomach contains hydrochloric acid naturally and merely laughs, in most cases, at jalapeños.

*teeheehee* Sound of stomach laughing.


_______
Dirty old men need love too!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Poopgirl5's picture
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I frequently eat very spicy food. The other day I was at a Caribbean joint and ordered the "Beyond Stupid" flavor hot wings. I think they lit habaneros on fire and rubbed the resulting paste on my wings. Delicious. Being experienced at eating spicy food, I knew to expect abdominal pain and some burning while pooping. Well, I finished off the leftovers yesterday and got very scared this morning when my toilet paper was showing a good amount of red blood for several wipes after I finished pooping. I am a CVT and if this happened to my pets I would be rushing them to the vet, but I have no health insurance. Hope I don't keep bleeding.....

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
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Well Poopgir15, I was unfamiliar with your abbreviation CVT so I looked it up and discovered that you are a continuously variable transmission so it seems to me that you should be wiping off oil or grease rather than blood.

If you are a certified veterinary technician or cardiovascular technologist I must assume that you are payed well enough that you could make a trip to an urgent care facility. No health insurance is required for the visit which will usually set you back $100 or less.

If you are suffering from cerebral venous thrombosis and are really hard pressed for money you could always go to an emergency room.

My guess is that you merely have a hemorrhoid but I would have to look at your hiney to confirm this diagnosis.

Dr Thunderbutt, AHS (Ass hole specialist)


_______
Dirty old men need love too!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Squat-n-leaveit's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points
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I believe the CVT she was referring to is Capsaicin voluminous turds.

Jenna's picture
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ha ha, she is a CVT (Certified Vet Technician)--that is why she spoke about rushing her pets to the vet if they had this issue.

Anyway, as far as spicy foods go, I put that Asian chili pepper sauce (the bottle with the rooster) on everything, and I also use a lot of red pepper and curry powder on my foods and I never have an issue with hot fire shits unless I eat jalapenos. I don't know what it is about jalapenos, they are fine going down, but always the next morning I have hot fire shits. It is never diarrhea, the stools are normal, but my butt burns so bad that I even have a hard time walking when I am done. Go figure!

kaypoo's picture
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okay. so toddlers get into shit anyways sooo im assuming actual shit would be okay..
i mean its not like the little guy is eating it...lol

CanMan's picture
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OMG I smoked some spice and my shit hasn't been normal since!!

Devlin ;)'s picture
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I eat Louisiana Hot Sauce like every day..(seriously, I'm like addicted). For a while everything was good at the back door, but now I have serious diarrhea. I was wondering if anyone knew the cause...? Please help!

Butt of the Joke's picture
l 100+ points
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Devlin,if I had to guess,I would probably go with your habit catching up with you finally.Maybe find an alternative to hot sauce,such as chewing gum.No harm can come from gum.
_______
More people flush than they do wash their hands.

More people flush than they do wash their hands.

Squat-n-leaveit's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points
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Does Tabasco make gum?

Split-ends's picture
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hahaha, ijo! this comment, by shit hook (not verified) -- 04.16.2009

"o lord my ass is on fire i think i just shit out a little devil"

i laughed so hard my back hurt

Robbie234's picture
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I find the worst gas is mixing dairy and meat. We once hit the buffet in Vegas and topped it off with ice cream. I have never smelt something as "unholy" as that. These were not silent and deadly, rather gusty, frequent, and hot, and I thought Lucifer himself had crawled up my ass.

SwampMonster's picture
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I too have had the problem that dear devlin has run into with the lousiana hot sauce. Bulliard's La Supreme Chicken Wing Sauce has fueled a devilish swamp monsters rage apon my brown eyed porcelain huggin cheeks for the second day in a row!! Im not sure if the sauce is old, if its because i drank my face off the night before prior to la monster appearance, orrrrr if thats just what this type of hot sauce or hot sauce in general does.
Sidenote: for those of you who dont know about the swamp monster, it is defined by the people, for the people and of the poop reporting people, beyond the walls of this website, in the realms of our own, urbandictionary.com:
"When taking a dump, a swamp monster is when you have diarrhea with the exception of one large turd. The turd then lurks beneath your brown-green diarrhea as a swamp monster would in a swamp."
Furthermore, and more in depth,..no less than 20 minutes prior to gorging my face with anything that went well with the louisiana hot sauce, and prior prior to blowing that good green smoke, the swamp monster made his classic appearance. Leading the way out of my sphinkter walls like a rocket launched to mars, or uranus haaa not funny, only to await the violent shit storm of his swamp to rain down out of my ass.
If anybody knows the answers to Dear Devlin and I's swamp monster feud that would serve us well.

p.s. proofreading this comment has brought on round two, though this time around i doubt the swamp will be accompanied by the swamp monster.

Anonyonymous's picture
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Sitting on the lav.

Half a Nando's extra hot chicken, 10 extra hot wings and too much Stella...

Worst pain ever.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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Taco hell volcano burritos three of em oh god its burning coming out

zippo's picture
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Last night I decided to combine some pork pie with a rather large amount of ultra death sauce, washed down with various ales. Only now have I realized that the previous nights actions were a mistake. As I am typing this, I am experiencing incredible amounts of pain as flammable substances spit continuously out of my 0-ring. Please God, have mercy upon me.

Butt of the Joke's picture
l 100+ points
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It took you overnight to figure out that "ultra death sauce" was a bad move?
_______
More people flush than they do wash their hands.

More people flush than they do wash their hands.

Yodaddy's picture
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Pickled onions and scotch bonnet peppers in white vinegar is delicious as an accompaniment with meals. Although the next morning one's asshole will feel like it has a heart with a pulse after dispelling the fiery liquid motion. Another word of warning after washing ones rare end until it is well cleaned, please recheck after a few hours. Its like you never wiped your arse from the said previous episode. For safe security always insert an arsepad = folded toilet paper between my buttocks to absorb any loose faecal matter. Although please be aware as I did have a very embarrassing moment when my arsepad fell out my boxers and was picked up by one of the office staff who screamed in disgust when she inspected it on close observation. :/

Anonymous Coward's picture
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Ate some spicy hog head cheese and chitlins doused in Tabasco followed by a 6 pack of Dos Equis before I passed out from.smoking some Island Dream medical greenage. Just woke up, ran to the porcelain and I swear a gremlin just jumped out my arse with the biggest shit eating grin (pun intended) ...followed by the creature from Spaceballs that came out of that man's stomach and sang "hello my baby...hello my darlin'...my ragtime gal" ... my o-ring is burning like a mofo! The gurgling churning sound my guts are making sound like a Roland Tb-303 on the lowest octave...yo...I'm glad I found this site and bookmarked it for this occasion. The violent escape of gas that precedes each plop of fiery diareah passing past my sphincter feels like my butthole is melting like plastic. The stench of digested food, fermented further with beer and lime salt smells like a carcass in the summer heat. I just counted an 8 second fart! Holy shit! My bunghole needs crushed ice on it. I'm sweating balls...waiting for the last spasm of my colon to release the last blast of matter. I think I'm holding back a tear and its becoming hard to type without having to fix my f ups. Now I feel like I'm about to hurl my guts hurt so bad. Ok...this isn't funny anymore. Putting the phone down.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
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AC, Tabasco is for beginners. You need to practice for a few more years until you work up to a real hot sauce like Marie Sharps "Beware." Hot sauces without warning labels are for amateurs. I think my favorite is El Yucateco, a spicy blend of habaneros that burns the hair from your asshole cleaner than a depilatory could ever do.

PS: Stick a popsicle up your ass and it may quell the burning somewhat.


_______
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Anonymous Coward's picture
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This site has had me rolling! I too was in agonizing pain this morning. My story is a little different, though. I had a massive infection caused by clostridium difficile about a month and a half ago. It took me a while to recover and start eating regular foods. Last night is the first time I tried spicy foods, 18 hot wings with a large Dos Equis. I'm no stranger to spicy stuff, but my stomach apparently forgot.

The burning of the o-ring was terrible so much that I could barely walk, and it recurred every time I got up from the toilet. Fortunately, I had some cortisone cream in my travel bag, which I put on some TP and administered. Instant relief and haven't felt pain since!

Stomach still hurts, though. I guess I need to take it a little slower. Thanks for the laughs, everyone. Knowing I'm not the only one and laughing about it was very therapeudic.

Anonymous's picture
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Doctor, I'm surprised. The situation described was the toddler picking up the toddler's own poop in the toddler's own mouth. See the use of words "her" and "her." Personally, I believe this is a bullsh*t question anyway.

Anonymous's picture
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this is a brilliant thread, no idea how I got here but I'm glad I did

Anonymous's picture
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I had some eggs, pinto beans, and smothered it with green chile. Woke up in the middle of the night with terrible stomach pain. I ran to the crapper and sprayed the bowl. My vision went blurry and it burned like you would not believe. It was like fire water spraying out of my bung hole. What a mess.

Anonymous's picture
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i think i have a food intollerence to spicey food.going out to dto dinner and only had a steak with garlic sauce yum,potatoe in salad.went home and within an hour i felt sick and my friends said i looked green.we could only pin point it to the sauce cause it was pretty bland food.what was in the food to make me feel sick.

Anonymous's picture
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I eat chili 3 times a day and always have a dunny roll handy I've had to shit in some weird places,I've found storing your dunny rolls in the freezer to give a truly exquisite wiping sensation to your bunger after a red hot vindaloo ringstinger :)

Anonymous's picture
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What I am finding to be exponentionaly hilarious is the fact everyone is flustered by the fact the doctor got confused whether the child was putting his turds or the dogs turds in his mouth. DOES IT MATTER? The child HAS FECES IN HIS MOUTH. I hope the question was a joke, cause if not, it's probably better this child ends up getting sick and dies before his brilliant parents raise him to be a danger to society.

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Got pepperoni pizza last night w/jalapenos and drank a six pack of icehouse. I think that this combo is chemical formula for plutonium. I have had like five shit sessions in hell, literally. I'm moanin like a virgin on prom night. Houston, I have complete o-ring burnout.. After tums, prevacid, and milk, nothing has aided in the ass fire. I think I'm going to give myself a carafate enema!

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You know, it's highly plausible that this lady asked this question as a cunning way of trolling.

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You people have me rolling! Constantly Variable Transmission had me crying, this is hilarious and I'll be checking back on this thread for more words of wisdom and encouragement. No wonder this thread has been "going" for so long! Maybe something is wrong with me, but I love it! Makes me want to chug a bottle a sriracha so I can contribute some experiences.

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i think he means the kid is carrying his own feces

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I went to a local Indian restauraunt and ordered the Madras. The first time I ever went there I had the same thing. It is the hottest item on the menu (they ONLY make it on "HOLY SHIT WHY DID I THINK THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA hot), and after a few bites I was starting to sweat.
Well, I got the madras again (I am a masochist, and figured it was time for some spicy shits), knowing what was going to inevitably happen. It was spicy going down, that's for damn sure.
Four hours later, and I get on the throne. It was a non-spicy, satisfying dump. I was also hearing about Kim Jong Il being dead. Well, I go to wipe, and notice blood on the tissue. Toilet bowl has red on and in it too (the spicy sauce was reddish). I think a doctor's visit is in order. Currently feeling like I have to take a massive dump.

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I eat two habaneros with every meal,was diagnosed with circulatory problems several years ago.The secret to reduce the heat isn't drinking milk or eating yogurt,its eating any kind of dry cheese you like.
Milk has a high water content as well as yogurt.Also,never eat hot chilies on an empty stomach.As far as the morning after burn.Place a generous amount of yogurt on some toilet tissue and apply deep south.This treatment usually reduces the fire.

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11/19/2011 post - Why the hell would you eat a pepperoni pizza with jalapenos and wash it down with a 6 pack of ANYTHING and think this would NOT have an effect on your precious bung hole? Moron.