stopped smoking, started stinking

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j 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb
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Gina asks:

I have a BIG PROBLEM...HELP!! I recently quit smoking a little over a month ago. During the time that I was a smoker, my poops were like clockwork, in the morning after breakfast and my morning cigarette. Now that I don't smoke, I seem to have a problem pooping. It's days before I am able to poop, and when I do, it is very little. I have gas like you wouldn't believe!! I know three other people who quit smoking the same time as me, and two of them have the same problem with horid gas. What can I do to be normal again? My boyfriend asked me to write, he's getting really fed up with the rancid gas problem! PLEASE HELP BEFORE I LOSE MY BOYFRIEND!!





Gina,

Thanks for the question!

Two scenarios come to mind. Either your sense of smell (paralyzed and affected by long term smoking) is just awakening and rejoicing in smells that used to go unnoticed, or;

You are eating more crap now that you aren't smoking, and your feces stink more and you are gassier now. You are what you eat, so clean up that diet, open a window when you poop, and perhaps encourage your boyfriend to start smoking so that his sense of smell can become paralyzed, too.

Please be advised that I am only a Poonurse. I am NOT a medical doctor. Any advice I give should be taken moderate skepticism. Please consult a REAL medical doctor if you feel you have a serious medical condition.

-- Poonurse

Poonurse is an RN with 25 years experience in labor and delivery. Her qualifications include seeing a lot of poop, and owning a computer. Also, she works in Michigan, which she calls the asshole of the universe, so that's another bit of credibility.

Got a question for her?












36 Comments on "stopped smoking, started stinking"

Turd Hugegrunt's picture
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Gina:

Girl you need help
And you need it fast
Like a big Cuban stoagie
shoved up your pretty ass

I know you think I'm kiddin'
But I assure you I ain't
Get the cigar, get the boyfriend
Get to shovin' it up your taint

Now please understand me
'Cause on this subject I'm not green
See, when you stopped smokin'
You depleted your "backlog" nicotine

What you need now
Is a retro-booster shot
So poke a stoagie in your bootie
and another in your twat

Okay, okay, Gina,
I understand you doubt
So go ahead and consult
Our Poo Nurse about
This cigar enima procedure
That I recommend
Or call Monica Lewinsky
And ask her what is what
Or if she ever experienced
A stoagie up the butt.

doniker's picture
j 1000+ points
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funny and erotic!!

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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First of, dump your boyfriend. If he can't take a little gas then he's not worth your time.

Second, start drinking more water and fill up on your electrolytes. Smoking depletes all sorts of vital things from your system and this can cause constipation.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

HersheyGirl's picture
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I'm no expert, but my poos were much more regular when I was a smoker. There are two seemingly paradoxical reasons for this. 1. Smoking irritates the lining of your stomach, which will cause you to poo in the same way that coffee will. 2. Nicotine makes you less stressed out and relaxes a spastic gut. My advice is not to start smoking again but to get your doctor to prescribe you some Wellbutrin or another MAOI inhibitor to mimic the calming affect of nicotine on your intestines until your body gets used to not having a ready supply of the calming drug. If that's not affordable, try using a small amount of nicotine gum in the mornings so that your body gradually gets used to not having a ready supply of the drug. Then, substitute for the stomach irritation caused by the smoke with fiber, which should firm up your stools and help your now unirritated but sluggish bowels to begin contracting around your stools and moving them out.

Hamster's picture
k 500+ points
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HersheyGirl - thank you for explaining this. My bowels are definitely, as you put it, slugish, and when I smoked, I noticed that a smoke sometimes galvanised them into quick action. Sadly, I no longer smoke! I do eat far more fibre now though - but it does not kick-start things like a good old smoke did!

Anonymous Coward's picture
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I just want to reinform the misinformed. Smoking does not relieve stress, and if anything it cause s it. Smoking is a stimulant, it acts at first like a calming agent and as soon as the the nicotine gets fired into your veins your body gets a jolt. This jolt is created with every drag you take from a smoke, and every time you finish a smoke the stress begins. Nicotine metabolizes quickly, so the withdrawal starts immediately and so does the stress.

I just wanted to set that straight as it is one of the biggest myths about smoking. AND! I just recently quit and I am having the same digestive problems as the person above. I have not started eating a bunch of crap either. I was very careful not to.

Goosepoop's picture
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I do not like your answer at all Poonurse. I recently quit smoking and I have the same issues as Gina. I watch what I eat and exercise so it is not that. My diet is not crappy ( HA HA). Your answer was CRAPPY.

Sphir Amon Vicor's picture
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Haha, these comments are too funny. I recently joined the smoke-free society. One month and counting..woot! And I've noticed the same thing. Poo has changed...color, smell, regularity. A bit more regular, a bit darker and a bit smellier. Diet has not changed, exercise has not changed, medication has (nicotine be gone). I know that certain medications can cause poo to change, so perhaps it's a mixture of a chemical change AND a more sensitive nose? I really don't know, just my two plops...cents! My two cents! Ack! I've looked around on the net for half an hour now and am tired of looking at poo sites. Maybe in a few months if more changes report back. Help us smokers...non-smokers! Non-smokers! Help us non-smokers out.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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Well I was a smoker for many years, And i quit 6 years ago and I'm STILL having Poo Problems, But not sure one thing has anything to do with the other, Dont nessecarily remember if the start of the poo problems coincided with the end of the smoking problem. I really dont think my answer helped in the slightest bit....But it was "just my two plops...cents!" worth... Damned I'm begining to visit this site regularly, And is that a problem?
Mental maybe?

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
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I would tend to agree with the improved sense of smell and diet change theory. I gave up smoking over twelve years ago and my sense of smell definitely improved as a result.

I haven't noticed any change in the smell of my poop but will admit that others have always found it offensive. The aroma doesn't bother me a bit.

_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Salim's picture
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lol ok i found this site while i was in front of my pc smoking a ciggiewinkle when I needed a poopietinkle so i googled this mofo of a question- why do i need to 'get some weight off my mind' after smoking? There was once a time, when I was a boy and I didnt smoke, that 'dropping my kids off at the pool' went regular like clockwork so it seems that smoking just funks this clockwork up, im sure that if you stay quit, it just goes back to normal. When i used to smoke weed, i would feel tired but didnt go to sleep til later when i was totally mashed, thus funking up my sleeping patterns. when i quit i couldnt sleep properly for a few days but once it was out my system, i would feel tired at night time and go straight to sleep, instead of staying up for ages pointlessly, stoned, watching cartoons and not going for a piss for ages until i was bursting cos i just couldnt be asked to get up. Thus , my sleeping patterns returned to normal, like before i started killing braincells by smoking the green. this may be like the shitting/smoking question. Im in the process of quitting (again) and this problem is non-exist for me. i dont get the constipation style problem when i quit.

browns and brown fan's picture
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Same with me the minute i light up or have a beer immediately i'm going # 2!

Anonymous Coward's picture
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Could it be that your body is expelling all those nasty chemicals from smoking? Detoxing can be quite smelly...

Leaky Bowel King's picture
l 100+ points
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So my mom smokes and has for thirty years, and she also drinks a lot of coffee, and when I go into the bathroom after she shits, it smells like a mix between smoke and coffee. I used to smoke black and mild's and my shit would smell like that smoke sometimes also. But for the most part, smoking or not smoking never changed my poop.

Sphir Amon Vicor's picture
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I'm back! So, I've been smoke free for one year! Yes, at times I still miss it but I enjoy many things much more for not being a smoker. On to the poop issue, though! Everything is back to normal poo wise. Jeez, a site about poo. No answer on why the poo took a change for the worse when I quit. Perhaps it was just my body getting rid of all the nasty chemicals..I don't know. However, after several months I noticed things returning to normal. Hope this helps anyone curious or concerned. Enjoy the poo and the smoke free life, everyone! :)

Anonymous Coward's picture
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I quit smoking 9 weeks ago and my poop has changed. I use to poop one long log in the mornings. Now it is a few marbles in the morning and sometimes the afternoon. Sometimes I have to help get my poop out. I run on average 10 miles a week and eat healthy. I have even added metamucil to my diet but nothing seems to help. Should I do a colon cleanse? Thanks

ChiliKahKah's picture
j 1000+ points
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Quit going to taco bell when you have the I quit smoking munchies.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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Hello I have been sitting here reading all this, I myself have just quit smoking,,there are all kinds of ideas myths yada yada,,but let's look at this the right way....your poo does not smell any different,,your nasal passages are clearer and just getting a better wiff....and after quiting smoking,they say to keep yourself busy,,I don't think they meant sitting on the pot and saying damn I don't smoke anymore while I'm taking a dump...what do I do with these few extra moments,,,hummm I think I will smell my ass...come on people... you don't smell any different you just never smelled yourself...now go have a cold one....

ShitStormTrooper's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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My dad had smoked two packs a day for over 50 years and he finally ended up with bladder cancer. Now he has a urostomy but is cancer-free. His poop never changed aroma after he stopped smoking.... it's just as vile now as it was when he smoked!

Rectal Badger's picture
l 100+ points
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I smoke and the reason you're constipated is because smoking irritates the stomach lining, which can cause you to poop. That's why a lot of people get diarrhea when they smoke. Now that you've quit, your body is adjusting to the lack of stimulant to your bowels. It should adjust itself accordingly.

ChiliKahKah's picture
j 1000+ points
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Ala Steve Martin...Do you mind if I smke ? No, do you mind if I fart !

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
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No one makes a better preacher than a reformed sinner. I smoked for years before I finally gave it up. I didn't realize what a stinky habit it was while I was doing it. Recently one of my great nephews came over to help me resolve a computer problem, God ... what a stinker he was, I had to hold my breath every time he got close to me. I would have preferred a fart.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

college girl's picture
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Hello, I have quite smoking pot a little over a month ago to pass a drug test for a college internship. My face is breaking out, my skin is itchy, and I am constipated all the time. I have started taking laxatives on a regular basis. I exercise 3 times a week, and I don't eat fried foods and eat whole grains, fruits, veggies, and some meat.What is wrong with me? I know it is not healthy to take laxatives all the time but I will not go poop for 3-4 days and when I do it is so painful. Is this because I quit smoking pot? That is when it all started. My immune system is not strong since I quit smoking, I have been getting sick a lot too. I also take vitamins multi, probiotics, b,c, calcium, d3, flaxseed, fish oil, zinc... I feel bloated and constipated. help!

Crappy new life!'s picture
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I just think it's a real crappy situation, quit smoking can't poop! Thought it was just my problem....

Anonymous Coward's picture
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i quit 2 days ago and had this problem but i found that coffee is a great replacement for the morning smoke, it has the same effect! now i have no need to go back to smoking.

No weed bobbo 's picture
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Been off the weed for a month and a half now. My toilet actions are gone. Used to be regular. Now nothing for days. Maybe a nugget. Headaches are common too. I hate this feeling. My gas could power a small town. So embarrassing if I'm in a queue somewhere I let go. Phewwy it's bad. Any ideas. Maybe weed is not so bad after all.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
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No weed bobbo, Maybe you just aren't eating as much as you did when you were a head. After all huffing doobies is a definite appetite stimulant.

Become a drunk and see if that helps.

Doctor Phil Gud


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Dirty old men need love too!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Anonymous's picture
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After smoking for more than 49 years, I am now smoke free for 6 weeks today. Resignation works better than resolution. My "routine" was interrupted with Gallbladder removal. Now with no cigarettes, it has returned to "normal" again. BUT, along with it, I'm burping, passing rancid smelling gas and stool. YUK! But, I am sticking to my resignation and keeping track of my intake to see what triggers the pain in the butt side effects.

Anonymous's picture
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Poonurse your a moron. Even my iPhone thinks so, it autocorrected your name to "Looniest". Very fitting I believe. The answer to the smelly poo after smoking is very simple. Your body is expelling years of built of toxins..how does it expel them? Easy, through bowel movements. Your smelly poo is a GOOD thing, it means your body is doing what it should-getting rid of the junk. I quit smoking too and also have the same thing going on. Keep on truckin' being smoke free is sooo much better then a slow death from cancer sticks.

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points
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What toxins, exactly? Do you know what is being expelled or is this word your catch-all phrase? I do hate the word. It's so overused. It's like the spaghetti monster of science.

Oh, and you shouldn't call others morons when you can't use the correct spelling of "you're". It makes you look like a nincompoop.

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Anonymous's picture
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I just want to know, why does the smell of cigarette smoke trigger my bowels. My girlfriend's smoking in the other room and I'm stuck on the toilet.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
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This is in reply to Anonymous who posted on Sat, 05/26/2012 - 11:23

Could be because shit and tobacco smoke both stink. I gave up smoking about 15 years ago after about 40 years of heavy use. I never realized until I quit how foul smelling smoking makes your mouth, clothes, and home. A big spicy deuce has nothing on the smell of the average smoker.

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Anonymous's picture
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"Built up toxins" I love it. "Toxins" why do so many people use that word in relation to the body? Because they have no idea what they're talking about.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
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Believe it or not there are many toxins that can effect the human body that are cumulative. That would mean that they build up over time. Check a dictionary!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Anonymous's picture
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Daphne ,that's funny the correct spelling in that sentence is your. In case you do not understand how words are formed you're means you are. Put that in the sentence and it makes no sense.

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Moderators comment;

So Anonymous, Our dear Daphne, worlds greatest editor, pointed out that the phrase, "Poonurse your a moron" was incorrect use of the wonderful English language, and you insist that "Poonurse you are a moron" would be incorrect. Methinks that you need to revisit your elementary school grammar books.

ChiefThunderbutt

PS: You have incorrectly placed your comma. Rather than having written, "Daphne ,that's funny" you should have placed your comma immediately after the lovely Daphne's name in this manner *Daphne, that's funny*

Anonymous's picture
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I crap ALL the time now after quitting 2 weeks ago!!!! It smells awful too!!!! Not saying it used to smell like roses, but p u!!