Gina:

Girl you need help
And you need it fast
Like a big Cuban stoagie
shoved up your pretty ass

I know you think I'm kiddin'
But I assure you I ain't
Get the cigar, get the boyfriend
Get to shovin' it up your taint

Now please understand me
'Cause on this subject I'm not green
See, when you stopped smokin'
You depleted your "backlog" nicotine

What you need now
Is a retro-booster shot
So poke a stoagie in your bootie
and another in your twat

Okay, okay, Gina,
I understand you doubt
So go ahead and consult
Our Poo Nurse about
This cigar enima procedure
That I recommend
Or call Monica Lewinsky
And ask her what is what
Or if she ever experienced
A stoagie up the butt.

funny and erotic!!

First of, dump your boyfriend. If he can't take a little gas then he's not worth your time.

Second, start drinking more water and fill up on your electrolytes. Smoking depletes all sorts of vital things from your system and this can cause constipation.

I'm no expert, but my poos were much more regular when I was a smoker. There are two seemingly paradoxical reasons for this. 1. Smoking irritates the lining of your stomach, which will cause you to poo in the same way that coffee will. 2. Nicotine makes you less stressed out and relaxes a spastic gut. My advice is not to start smoking again but to get your doctor to prescribe you some Wellbutrin or another MAOI inhibitor to mimic the calming affect of nicotine on your intestines until your body gets used to not having a ready supply of the calming drug. If that's not affordable, try using a small amount of nicotine gum in the mornings so that your body gradually gets used to not having a ready supply of the drug. Then, substitute for the stomach irritation caused by the smoke with fiber, which should firm up your stools and help your now unirritated but sluggish bowels to begin contracting around your stools and moving them out.

HersheyGirl - thank you for explaining this. My bowels are definitely, as you put it, slugish, and when I smoked, I noticed that a smoke sometimes galvanised them into quick action. Sadly, I no longer smoke! I do eat far more fibre now though - but it does not kick-start things like a good old smoke did!

I just want to reinform the misinformed. Smoking does not relieve stress, and if anything it cause s it. Smoking is a stimulant, it acts at first like a calming agent and as soon as the the nicotine gets fired into your veins your body gets a jolt. This jolt is created with every drag you take from a smoke, and every time you finish a smoke the stress begins. Nicotine metabolizes quickly, so the withdrawal starts immediately and so does the stress.

I just wanted to set that straight as it is one of the biggest myths about smoking. AND! I just recently quit and I am having the same digestive problems as the person above. I have not started eating a bunch of crap either. I was very careful not to.

I do not like your answer at all Poonurse. I recently quit smoking and I have the same issues as Gina. I watch what I eat and exercise so it is not that. My diet is not crappy ( HA HA). Your answer was CRAPPY.

Haha, these comments are too funny. I recently joined the smoke-free society. One month and counting..woot! And I've noticed the same thing. Poo has changed...color, smell, regularity. A bit more regular, a bit darker and a bit smellier. Diet has not changed, exercise has not changed, medication has (nicotine be gone). I know that certain medications can cause poo to change, so perhaps it's a mixture of a chemical change AND a more sensitive nose? I really don't know, just my two plops...cents! My two cents! Ack! I've looked around on the net for half an hour now and am tired of looking at poo sites. Maybe in a few months if more changes report back. Help us smokers...non-smokers! Non-smokers! Help us non-smokers out.

Well I was a smoker for many years, And i quit 6 years ago and I'm STILL having Poo Problems, But not sure one thing has anything to do with the other, Dont nessecarily remember if the start of the poo problems coincided with the end of the smoking problem. I really dont think my answer helped in the slightest bit....But it was "just my two plops...cents!" worth... Damned I'm begining to visit this site regularly, And is that a problem?
Mental maybe?

I would tend to agree with the improved sense of smell and diet change theory. I gave up smoking over twelve years ago and my sense of smell definitely improved as a result.

I haven't noticed any change in the smell of my poop but will admit that others have always found it offensive. The aroma doesn't bother me a bit.

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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!