my little farting unladylike daughter

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j 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb
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Kriss asks:

Ever since my boyfriend moved in with us, my 7 year old little girl runs around farting almost non-stop. I know it's a natural thing but is there any way I can let her know that it's not a very 'girlie' thing to do?? I think the fact that he has made it a funny thing to gross her out with bathroom smells(naturally we send her after a brush when the timing is perfect!!) and noises makes her think this is okay, but I'm horrified she will do this in school or a restaurant or at a Christmas dinner and I just cant get her to stop!! She runs around laughing and saying 'pinky stinky' for gods sake...HELP!!





Dear Kriss,

Thanks for the question!

You know, your boyfriend sounds SUSPICIOUSLY like Mr. Poonurse. He delights in farting everywhere. He particularly likes to fart at Walmart, where he will let a particularly smelly one rip right when there is some nice elderly lady next to us--then he moves away. I have to follow him or the nice lady will think that I did it.

Men believe that farting is hysterically funny--whether the first time or the 1 millionth time. I like a good fart as much as the next person, but come on! There is a limit, men!

I hope he doesn't teach your daughter to light her farts.

Good luck!

Please be advised that I am only a Poonurse. I am NOT a medical doctor. Any advice I give should be taken moderate skepticism. Please consult a REAL medical doctor if you feel you have a serious medical condition.

-- Poonurse

Poonurse is an RN with 25 years experience in labor and delivery. Her qualifications include seeing a lot of poop, and owning a computer. Also, she works in Michigan, which she calls the asshole of the universe, so that's another bit of credibility.

Got a question for her?












29 Comments on "my little farting unladylike daughter"

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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What is it with women and the anti-bathroom humor movement?!? My mom was the same way when I was a kid. She would get so serious with me whenever I cracked a potty joke and would tell me that "little girls don't act this way". So I started pretending I was a boy and told her to shove it! Bathroom humor is fun! Don't discourage it, just let it fly!

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

PooperGal's picture
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Whoa. That 7-year-old girl sounds astoundingly normal to me. Seven is the official Age of Scatological Humor, fer pete sake. I agree with TSV that it should be just as permissible for girls to revel in farts, pee and poop as it is for boys. If everyone did that, maybe there wouldn't be such a battleground for the sexes as adults. I mean, instead of merely tolerating their hubby's/boyfriend's penchant for Shameless Farting, the women would actually be equal partners in crime! Just think of the additional bonding they could enjoy -- that extra thing they'd share in common.

But, the constant farting makes me wonder whether the kid is either having digestive problems, maybe due to an unbalanced diet or mild lactose intolerance, or whether she is using farting to bond with the new boyfriend.

Jason's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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Anything ladies do is, by definition, ladylike; which includes pooping and farting.

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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Go, Jason!

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

alois's picture
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there is nothing wrong by farting in public.

dixie's picture
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This little girl could be my daughter! I have a 15 yr old son that I pick on terribly.We have a great Mother-Son relationship and joke about "Bathroom" humor all the time.I especially love to get him in Wal-mart and fart real loud and blame it on him!I let it rip then look super horrified at him and say "Young Man!That is very rude!" People look at him and shake their heads. The second we are alone in the aisle we crack up! Recently I bought him a set of those walkie talkies and he turned it on and put it in his back pocket (while we were in Wal-Mart).I sneaked around following him and when he was looking at DVD's an old lady walked up beside him.Thats when I made my move!I keyed up my walkie-talkie and proceeded making farting noises with my mouth and since he had put his walkie-talkie in his back pocket,she thought he was farting!! I will never forget the look on his face when the old lady jumped and looked at him!He took off like a flash and when he found me in the craft dept. we laughed so hard that I had to leave my buggy with all the stuff still in it and leave the store.I know people thought we were drunk or stoned cause we had tears running down our faces and we were snorting.He now turns his walkie-talkie down on low and puts it up in his shirt pocket!

Logjam's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
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Dixie, you need to write some of this stuff up.

Logjam

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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Dixie, try a fart machine. It's wonderful!

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

Anonymous Coward's picture
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Man Dixie I have not laughed that hard for a long time.......That was halarious! I act silly too with my kids but sometimes they get mad at me. Last time I blew a good fart, was when my dog was under the covers sleeping which she always does. Her face was right close to my butt, and man I ripped a mean one, so bad that my daughter left the building...funny thing is Cupcake never budged....LOL

wendy's picture
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man, tell your daughter to call me when she gets older, she sounds like a lot of fun. you sound like my dad though ;]

The Dumpster's picture
i 2000+ points
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Dixie's story above is great! I am going to pull that on Little Dumpster next time we go to Wal-Mart.

The problem with youngsters is teaching them that "for every thing there is a season." As I've related before, LD loves to glare and giggle at me when my stomach rumbles in church. I need to direct this question to PR's resident advice columnist, "Dear ANNus," over on the forums.

mott the poople's picture
l 100+ points
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Again, PR women RULE!
Society is filled with STOOLS.
EVERYbody in LA/OC is STILL puckered up. A fart is a fart...
If a lady farts in front of me...I say "musta been a good lunch". A BIG smile always follows my statement. What I'm really saying with my smile is "thanks for being real". We ALL fn fart. Its relaxing, and can be fun if planned.

I know....C "my lady neverett" poops will say different...
Dixie..TSV....many others are "cutting" a new path that needs to be.

Asphincter says WHAT...(!)

Asphincter says WHAT...(!)

Anonymous Coward's picture
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I just came across this site whilst looking for help in my constant battle against gas. I'm a middle aged single mum and my 9 yr old daughter has to put up with me constantly farting in front of her friends - poor child, I'm worried it will have a long-lasting psychological effect on her! Mothers are supposed to be dignified and lady-like but there is absolutely nothing I can do about it - there's no warning - they just escape, loudly! Fortunately they are not smelly as well!

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points
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History has forgotten many a lady who behaved.
_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

healthy 1's picture
j 1000+ points
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Look at the problem from a different angle.

Find out what is makeing her gassy in the first place, and correct her diet.

Other than that, farting is perfectly normal, and natural. Maybee not socially acceptable, but then again, what natural bodily function is these days?
_______
"-55F, a new record low? Nope, thermometer went bad. Looks like -50F still stands"

"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

Bottoms-UP!'s picture
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just leave the kid be. eventually she'll grow out of it or just make loads of guy friends.

shit tzu's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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What's wrong with the child having a little fun with farting! Gas can be extremely amusing, and can be a stress reducer, both in the colon and in every day life! Let her fart, please.

Raggedmama's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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The connection between persistent farting and constipation can't be dismissed. I've probably told the story before of how when my sister was little she had persistent farting one morning and my mother reacted by sending her to go to the toilet and do and dooey, but she couldn't, so mum put a suppository in her (much to her distress) and she did a big one, and the farts stopped. And drastically decreased after that.

Raggedmama's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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The connection between persistent farting and constipation can't be dismissed. I've probably told the story before of how when my sister was little she had persistent farting one morning and my mother reacted by sending her to go to the toilet and do a dooey, but she couldn't, so mum put a suppository in her (much to her distress) and she did a big one, and the farts stopped. And drastically decreased after that.

Poop-a-holic's picture
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Am I the only girl that loves farting hahaha... the loud ones are the best, but I can never seem to do them when theres people around, used to beat my dad at farting contests but now they're pathetic and squeaky grr! NEVER take you fart power for granted guys =(

Russell's picture
l 100+ points
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Well, there is a limit on where farts are excepted. I mean I'll laugh at them where ever they are ripped, but I won't rip them unless I'm in a comfortable farting zone.
_______
Russell the shitting queen

Russell the shitting queen

realripsnorter's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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For some reason, females seem to grow out of the fart game, I've many nieces and cousins that could fart with the best of us as young girls, but now they all find it gross and discusting to "let 'er rip!". I think they must teach themselves to fart differently now and be more discreet and inconspicuous. I say - do what you will, I will still blast away, I don't want to get out of practise, I may need to fall back on that talent someday.

______
It's O.K., We just have to smell it; He's got to sit in it!

It's O.K., We just have to smell it; He's got to sit in it!

Russell's picture
l 100+ points
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Realripsnorter, I'm 15 years old and I'm a girl and I haven't tired of the fart game. Poop-a-holic, you ain't the only girl that likes farting.
_______
Russell the shitting queen

Russell the shitting queen

realripsnorter's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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Yeah, but you're young yet, and you may actually be an exception to the rule. Just seems odd that something that can be so much fun, can suddenly become an act rendering disgust.

_______
It's O.K., We just have to smell it; He's got to sit in it!

It's O.K., We just have to smell it; He's got to sit in it!

Bran Lover's picture
k 500+ points
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Ahem. I am a master of nasty smelling farts baybee! Something I eat every once in awhile gets me going really good. I will fart around the family all the time hoping they don't smell, but proud if they do. Since I have no sense of smell, I never know if they are gonna be bombs until I get a reaction. It's great hearing everyone groaning in disgust and seeing their noses wrinkle in despair. I don't have to smell a thing!

_______
To affect the quality of the poo, that is the art of life. ~Thoreau, sort of.

To affect the quality of the poo, that is the art of life. ~Thoreau, sort of.

ChiliKahKah's picture
j 1000+ points
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I suggest a poop oriented cotillion.

Mrs. Mad Crapper's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points
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My little girls announce it no matter where we are or who it was that farted. I say get over it, who cares if she thinks it's funny, let her because quite frankly it's hilarious.
_______
Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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Let the girl pass gas if she needs to. I'm a lady and I will poot where ever the urge hits me. Passing gas is a natural thing. I poot at my desk. I poot in public. I try to get out of folks way but if I got to poot then I'm pooting. I was at my moms today and we had a lot of fruits and nuts and snack foods. I was at CVS browsing birthday cards and I pooted loud and long all over that store. I bet I pooted six good times while I was in there. I stood still and pooted real good until I didn't have to poot anymore. Society makes the biggest deals out of nothing. There is more to worry about in life than blowing off a good poot.

ChiliKahKah's picture
j 1000+ points
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remember farts are to be heard not smelled.