Thanks for the answers, Motherload! Since the writing of this letter, Gilbert has had words with the family and insisted on bringing home some meat. We compromised and bought organic meat (which I like better anyway), stating exactly what you said. My wanting meat had nothing to do with being unhealthy, I am recovering from the birth of little Gordon.

Thanks again!

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I was a category five! Category five, I tell you! Get it right or I'll be back to PROVE IT!!!!- Katrina

There are so many protein options for us veggies out there that no protein shock should have occurred unless possibly....

1.) the TYPE of protein causes a shock to the system

or

2.) the diet was not balanced because this particular family of vegetarians has not read enough about being a healthy vegetarian

I'll give just one example of how easy it is to get mass protein while eating no one. I have a low carb pasta that has 60% of my daily protein requirement in ONE serving! Swear to God. It's Pastalia Heart Healthy tomato basil fettucine that I get at a grocery outlet for 1 dollar. It's a 9 ounce package that gives 27 grams of soy protein per serving, which is a shitload.

There's also the fake meats from Boca and etc., and while some of them taste dreadful (the bacon is flavored cardboard.....) some of them are super. The chicken patties and sausage patties taste really good. Then, there is shitty assed tofu, which tastes like rubber unless you know what you're doing, which I don't, but I grimace through it anyway. Agghkk. Urg.

I haven't even mentioned regular beans. Good old beans; beans that also can make you fart. Double the fun.

Maybe it's more important to be happy with your OWN choices and your OWN self instead of being yoked into eating something or living some way that isn't your choice at all. Had they been so strict with me were I to be a meat eater, I'd like to think I would have taken the steakandshake bags or reciepts and taped them to the front of the fridge!

And it is weird that your poop isn't nice, spongey, good poop. Fiber does great things for me, I'm surprised that it turned your poor digestive tract out. Best wishes with your baby anyway. If you're still wanting to go veggie, remember Uma Thurman had a baby while vegan and did really, really well health-wise. You may not be able to afford her chef, but I'm sure that you could take care of all the needs of your body at this time if you read up.

I'm so sad when I hear about people who have been forced to eat a certain way while being a guest in someone's home. That's so rude!

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

damn daph, 27 grams is 60% of your protein for the day? I'm at about 220-250 grams per day. Most of it is in the form of bars, shakes, chicken, turkey, steak (2-3 times a week), and tofu (1-2 meals per week)

The wierdest thing about increasing my protein intake is the same type of hell that TSV is getting. For the first two or three weeks my shit was crazy (and I tried adjusting slowly, increasing 30-50 grams of daily intake per week). Now it's back to normal though.

The most important thing that I've noticed about the protein intake is that I needed to double (or more) my carb intake too. Then again, I'm kind of in the wierd diet catagory. 3600+ calories a day. But that's because I bought a new bike and ride about 30+ miles a day (I'm trying to get into primo riding shape because I'm bicycling across Europe next summer).

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Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

I have been offered beans on several occasions. Unfortunately, I cannot eat them in excess because I tend to retain iron in my blood. The last time I was fed more than one serving of beans in a week I ended up sick in bed for another week from iron toxicity. For some reason I absorb the iron in beans faster than I do in meats and leafy greens. This makes replacing protein with beans next to impossible.

Instead, I sometimes replace protein (when I don't eat meat) with various kinds of nuts. It works just as well. And there is no pesky iron to deal with.

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I was a category five! Category five, I tell you! Get it right or I'll be back to PROVE IT!!!!- Katrina

The pasta reference was just one example of how easy it is to find good veggie protein. When I eat that stuff, I usually eat a double serving, and that's only one meal of my day. To be honest, I don't know how much protein I get. I just make sure to eat fake meats, beans, or tofu (and eggs sometimes) at least twice a day, stock up on Omega 3's, iron, and calcium, and drink low sodium V8 on a regular basis. This covers the risks of not getting enough nutrients lacking in many vegetarian diets.

I didn't even notice it was the Shit Volcano who wrote this concern until you mentioned it. She's really up on fad diets and nutrition and will most likely be fine no matter what she chooses to eat. So much for me being observant this evening.....

Good luck with your biking!

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

This change in bowel habbits should be temporary.

Nuts are a good protien source. I have some friends who moved here from India, they are strictly vegetarian. The get their protien from eating nuts.
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It's not nice to fool mother nature.

Shitshock...I like that. Is it followed by a turd tsunami or a log lambasting?

The best way to eat vegetarian and get all your protien, is to eat animals that were vegetarians while they were alive.

Congratulations, by the way on the birth of your baby, Gordon. And way to go, giving him a real name!

Yes, gongrats on baby Gordon TSV.

DD, what about fish? Most vegetarians don't eat fish.
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It's not nice to fool mother nature.

Yes, indeed, congrats are in order, TSV! Yeah! Hope you and Gordon are doing well and getting along good!

As for your brown babies... you are totally in shit shock! I went vegetarian (vegan, even!) suddenly when I was in high school. I ate tons of vegetables and grains and basically over-dosed on fiber. I had the worst gas and explosive diarrhea for the first few months before my system got used to the change. Then I followed that diet for 9 years. One day I fell off the bandwagon, and just started eating all kinds of meats again. Just like that. I experienced shit shock from the quick change again. This time my turds were large, sticky, and VERY smelly! I'll submit a story some day about "the switch" back to omnivorism. I was so naive...

Just get some flesh in ya and you should feel a lot better soon!

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White Castle: Eat em by the stack, shoot em out the back!

For you to not be consuming animal protein after giving birth is insane. Ever wonder why all mammals eat the placenta? You need real, muscle protein, iron, and calcium. NOW.

Congrats on the new addition to your family. And in reference to what Duke just wrote, PLEASE tell me you didn't have shake-n-bake placenta. Wait...maybe I'm on to something here...placenta over easy, placenta helper, placenta au gratin....I'm making MYSELF sick now. I need to get back on my meds again.

"Placenta" sounds like one of those made up names that people give their kids; like "shanequa" or "shevanya".

"This is my daughter Placenta, and this is her sister Angina."
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Sir SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan
Join The Poop Reporter's Lounge

I'm slowly turning vegetarian but I'm not there yet. I get protein from beans (as mentioned, and as TSV mentioned can't overeat) and veggie burgers. I'm still only part of the way there, though. I still like to eat chicken, and I just had a burger earlier, though I usually avoid red meat.

The best thing I know to tell you is to look at the labels on foods. Some things you may not expect have protein in them. Good luck, TSV!

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I'm so good at clogging up toilets, I can make mine back up when there's nothing in it.

Humans are chock full of protein. So are dogs, cats, and parakeets.

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I was a category five! Category five, I tell you! Get it right or I'll be back to PROVE IT!!!!- Katrina

Congrats on your new baby TSV. That sounds pretty much like normal poop when on a vegetarian diet - while I don't miss eating meat (I do still eat a bit of fish now and then) I really get exasperated with the type of pooping issue you described so aptly. I think it's all the extra fiber, it just pushes it through the system in record time. And yes, takes about half a roll to come clean. Nothing to do with a lack of protein, people really obsess about getting enough protein. Unless you're a competitive athlete or your body is under some extra stress and demand on it (I expect nursing would be one of those demands), you really don't need huge amounts of protein. I think people who are strict vegans have to balance their diet carefully but if one still eats dairy, eggs and fish occasionally, it's not hard to get an adequate amount of protein. If in doubt, just take a good multi-vitamin & mineral supplement.

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- Dedecorus Cacator

TSV - You're scaring me now. "Humans are chock full of protein. So are dogs, cats, and parakeets"

TSV stole my line...I prefer babies, say, around Gordon's age, preferrably kept in a very small cage, so as to impede movement, and keep muscle tissue soft, and juicily tender...
But cats will do in a pinch, as long as I haven't wiped with them.

But remember, with cats, 5 of the 6 ends are sharp. Free multiple anal piercings.... not for me except to possibly puncture a hemmorhoid.

Yeah, you're right, Cyancobalamin. Weiner schnitzel is much better, especially the long-haired variety.

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I was a category five! Category five, I tell you! Get it right or I'll be back to PROVE IT!!!!- Katrina

Great answer, Motherload. We hit the jackpot with a common-sense healthcare professional answering our shit-related questions.

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PooperGal
"Searching for the Origin of the Feces"

Yet another reason to be meatatarian. It only makes sense; solid, meaty crap is so much easier to get rid of than loose, stringy plant crap.
When I was younger and used to eat plants all the time, I always had really messy, stringy crap that took a ton of TP to clean off. Now I barely even have to wipe and crapping is so much easier.

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...and they all lived crappily ever after!

I found this site b/c my BF is critical of my TP usage. I swear my pooh is such that I must use excessive amounts of TP b/c of my diet being high in fiber in the form of lots of veggies and fruits.

I do eat meat about once a week and then have what is considered a normal pooh. Otherwise, it's narrow, messy bullets and ALWAYS involves lots of gas.

I was vegetarian for 13 years and didn't once have a normal pooh during that time. In fact, I had to take medicine for Irritable Bowel Syndrome for several years until discovering yogurt smoothies which helped me get the daily diarrhea down to just a few days a week. I thought that it was all the veggies and soy products that kept me so loose. My body just can't handle it. Now that I eat meat, I am no longer about 15 pounds underweight. Just am about 5 pounds underweight and do have a few normal poohs once in a while.

Actually, a healthy and balanced vegan diet should be suitable for you at any time of your life, especially after having given birth. A vegan diet is not at all deficient in protein; that's what soy, nuts, beans, and legumes are for! A vegan should in fact make you poop 3 or 4 times per day--large, formed, wet stools that are easy to pass. Drink lots of water and eat vegan!

i am a buddhist and i am a vegetarian. i like the look of my poop now. it feels light and clean. since what goes in is clean,what comes out usually is clean as well...you are what you eat...make your digestive track a garden instead of a cemetary.

I can't imagine a more depressing life -- to eat with the objective of producing shit I can be proud of. Do you have plans to send your shit to college?

LJ, I sent my three little shits to college.

Where'd you truck the shits off to? Ball State? College of the Ozarks? Cornell? Our Lady of the Lake?

i ar a alumneye uv da colidj uv da ozrkz. it ar a bere gud skul an i rekumen it heyele.

I was a few credits shy of my degree, when I ran out of money, and had to take the trucking job. The rest is history. I wanted them to get their degrees, so I allowed my wallet to be raped for about ten years. It was worth it. Maybe they'll spring for diapers when I need them.

PD, my hat (and pants) off to you, dude. And fuck the diapers. Get them to stop by and do the windows.

Okay...I'm a teenager, but that doesn't matter. But last time I went to space camp, (the cosmosphere) the food was good, but I couldn't crap worth crap. (whatever that means)

The only time I really went was in the bathroom on a wed. when i really had to go. And My anus was bleeding like heck.

Sometimes when I'm at home eating my ethnic foods, I get perfectly fine poop. (Indian foods).
Does a change in diet affect poop or something?
And how many sheets of toilet paper should one use??

OMG, I love being vegatarian, not only is is better for my health (lesser chance of cancer and heart disease) but it is better for the planet AND my soul.

But the MAIN thing that makes me want to eat meat is when I go vegi, I start to poop like a rabit. ...little hard poos!

When I eat meat, that fatty, bloody shit WANTS OUT pretty quick, giving me large satisfactory poos that are the size of my meal.

I hear that my intestines need time to adjust so I can poop big again with a vegi diet...would it heal if I ate yogurt or took probiotics???

I'm glad you are happy with your lifesstyle, My poo. I'm never more happy than when I'm sinking my rotted, crooked teeth into the braised and bloody flesh of a dead animal. After all, if I didn't do it, the worms would...and soon the world would be overrun with those squiggly fuckers, and they would crawl up your ass and you never get rid of them. So, I too, am doing my part for Mother Earth.
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The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Bilge, I totally agree. I could never be a vegetarian. Cows, pigs, and chickens are here for us to eat. If you don't eat them, what will you do with them? You're not going to keep them around because they're cute.

If they could grow a brussel sprout that tasted just like a porterhouse, I'd convert.

Or asparagus that tasted like fried chicken. Anybody comes up with something like that will make a fortune.

Why am I thinking of tomacco all of a sudden?

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Well, you don't actually blow on it. That's just an expression.

wait...this is a site about poop, not the pleasure of tasty meat. Back on the subject!

fine:
meat tastes good. that, is unarguable. But WE are not animals. We CAN make choices. The truth is humans eat too much meat and it is robbing the planet of a lot. Meat doean't grow on trees! Most of the meat you eat doesn't come from cute little farms. it comes from disgusting torture havens that pollute the surrounding cities (humans and nature alike), BAD!!!

If you can grow it, look it in the eye and kill it, THEN you should. but you get most of your meat from something very horrorifing. Do some research, and make an EDUCATED decision...use your brain and not just your tastebuds. Humans are smarter than other animals. we should act like it.

my poo, you're not a cow are you?

My poo, I've killed and eaten my share of critters, howver, in my old age, I am just too goddamn lazy to go cow tipping and slit their throats and hang them to bleed them out, and gut them , and slice them up into juicy tender steaks, chops, tips, burger, and sausage. Thats why I pay exorbitant prices at the supermarket for these delectable morsels of animal flesh, let somebody else do the work. I'm quite aware of how feed animals are treated, and MOST, not ALL, are treated reasonably well. You, however, might taste pretty good if kept in a movement debilitating cage, and fed whey proteins and hormones to promote juicy tenderness, and perfect marbling. Oh great, now I'm drooling, better go make myself and animal sammich.
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The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.