Um, Motherload? I have blood in my veins...what should I do?

(runs screaming like a girl, dodging bricks heaved mightily by ML)

Bilge, you should come visit me and let me use you to practice on! I am getting ready to do my phlebotomy clinicals so that I can sit for my national certification exam. I have been eyeballing people's veins for months now.
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Always looking out for number two!

Don't remember if I told you or not, my first wife was a vampi...uh...phlebotomist. She only married me cuz I have great veins.

I had pink pee about four years ago; it scared me enough to send me to the doctor immediately. The diagnosis then was bladder stones, which were crowding up to the bladder wall and scratching it, causing the intermittent pink cast. I had to have an operation; after it the doctor showed me the bottle (!) containing my bladder's former contents. I offered them as possible material for repaving the parking lot, but he gently declined. What if I had let it go, tried home remedies, and not seen the doctor? Likely my urinary system would soon have blocked up entirely, sending me to the emergency room. The operation was painless (I was under, of course), but recovery was painful, with urinary retention a couple of times. Bowel function basically stopped for a few days because of painkillers. I later had an operation for kidney stones, at which bladder stones were discovered as well, though not as many. Another operation, same results. Now I am on a high-water diet and have had no stones of either sort for 2.5 years. PLEASE see a doctor NOW.

Motherload,

Not a laughing matter. I had this problem 4 years ago and upon seeing the doctor, was sent 3 days later to have a kidney biopsy. Turns out I have a somewhat common chronic kidney disease called IGA nephropathy. I'm lucky as the disease hasn't progressed very fast but often people first present after they've had the problem for years. It's important to see your doctor and or a nephrologist!!! Go!

Have you tried applying ice and Anusol HC to the rhoids? Both decrease pain and imflammation.

I don't know about the ice. We all know what happened to the Challenger when the o-rings froze. I recommend plain ol' (cheap) witch hazel. Soak a paper towel and squeeze between the cheeks for about 5 minutes, then go dancing in a field of spring flowers.

Dremel Tool and a wire wheel work well too...oh wait....you said "decrease pain..." my bad.

Sleepless, I won't go into all the gory details and things it could be, but blood in the urine is very serious. A urinalysis is an obvious first step, your physician may also send you for a sonogram of the kidneys.

A nuclear dye test or a biopsy would only be done if the results from the first two tests suggested that something more serious might be wrong. Your insurance should cover all of the procedures-beyond whatever your annual deductible and copay is-provided that your physician is in your network. (I'm not a doctor or a registered nurse, I'm a medical librarian in training)

AC,

Motherload was by no stretch of the imagination laughing at this matter. I admit that I was a bit sarcastic as to someone not knowing the difference from their asshole and any one of numerous other holes in the general vicinity, but laughing I was not.

What part of "get thee to a doctor" do folks not understand?
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Always looking out for number two!

Don't sweat it, Mom. In fact, I would love to have a health care professional assigned to me via the military with your sense of humor.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

History has it that the Roman army, were instructed to insert peeled garlic cloves up their bung holes, to relieve piles, among other things.

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like a constipated accountant- I worked it out with a pencil.