...I'm at a loss for words on this one. Wow.
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"...human shit has more of an almond, or perhaps a macadamia flavor to it. I hope you will all take my advice and really consider tasting your poop some time, as I have. It's really quite an experience." - Ratz

Ladies and gentlemen, I believe we have officially found our first "crack addict"

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Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

I would say that he has warts and dandruff. The warts are generally removed by freezing them off. That should be fun around the ass crack.
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Sir SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan

Would the crystals possibly be crabs? Could he be confusing crabs for these little crystals?

I hope he gets to a doctor and takes care of himself, especially if he's sexually active.

Poor dude.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

"What are you doing with a microscope near your crotch?"

Looking for something too small to be seen otherwise?

The rare form of mental retardation that also manifests itself in poor language skills often results in hallucinating things in his stinky regions.

These questions made me do one of those involuntary shivers. It sounds like warts AND crabs. Excuse me while I go scrub myself with bleach and change into my spacesuit. And Dan, GO TO THE FREE CLINIC!

"I hope he gets to a doctor and takes care of himself, especially if he's sexually active."

If he IS sexually active, I sincerely hope that his partner is aware of the horrors unfolding in his nether regions, and takes steps to ensure his/her/its own hygeine!
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"...human shit has more of an almond, or perhaps a macadamia flavor to it. I hope you will all take my advice and really consider tasting your poop some time, as I have. It's really quite an experience." - Ratz

He says that the warts don't itch. If the "crystals" itched, he probably would have mentioned it. If they don't itch they sure as hell are not crabs............ not that I would know.
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Sir SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan

i think the bumps may be old skin cells that fell off.
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Signature, of POO

My advice, if they itch get a bottle of Quell (shampoo for crabs). As for the bumps, see a doctor. If they are crabs, try not to get too close to other people, and shower more. If they are't crabs, try Selsun Blue.

Why is it that I can't stop sctatching after this story. Ewww.
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Jammin' lo'flo's since 1977.

Warts and Yeah sounds like he has nits, lice eggs -- ewwie

Dan has crystal balls! I wonder if he can see the future in them?

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~Keep your friends close, and your enemas closer.~

It could be Psoriasis. I have it and when it flares up there is sometimes dry skin that falls off as well as a redish area.

Maybe another possibility to consider is that it could be a form of yeast (candida) which has appeared recently on my two diaper-wearing kids as a ring of bumps around the anus - some red, some looking like white heads - which is particularly likely if your diet is high in refined sugars & starches. (While yeast can be itchy, it isn't necessarily so)

I'm afraid the other question really does sound like pubic lice nits aka crabs as they will cement their little white eggs onto the base of the hair & are very hard to remove. Though, it would be highly unusual not to experience any itching from that. Might be worth a consult in that case.

Give due consideration to some serious lifestyle changes...

EWWWWWW

Id rather not know how he got a hold of an infected partner and some infected finger transmission. TMI, too much information

hey i think i know what he is talkign about, they arent microstopic crystals its more like skin is growing on the pubic haiir or thats what it looks like its like a white coating on some pubic hairs, what is it???

I am glad to see that someone else's diaper wearing kids have had to battle yeast. Not glad as in misery enjoys...but I feel less inferior. I have resorted to (and find great relief from) letting them run naked in the yard (much to the associations dismay, I imagine, and the pedophiles, if there are any...delight) for 15 minutes twice a day. I creeps me out when anyone comes within sight, but we have foam mat squares through out the house (my house is really just an incubation for the children at this time) so pee-pee on the floor is worse than world war three. Anyway, I appreciate the candid sharing of others. Normalizes some of the private doubting horror in my suficiency. I use lotrimin, and they don't eat much in the way of packaged food or refined sugars, but diabetis runs in the family...

I had the same problem and I asure you it is not lice. On www.emedicine.com look up trichomycosis pubis or trichomycosis axillaris. I think it will help!

The bumps may be Pearly Papules. I asked my obgyn about them once because I thought my boyfriend had given me an STD. They are harmless, but you should still check with your doctor if you have concerns. FYI, if it is an STD or bacteria, etc., scratching them off is probably the worst thing you could do!

I believe your crystals are actually Trichomycosis Pubis... Quite common and you can find out more at the following link. Good luck! http://www.emedicine.com/DERM/topic614.htm

It sounds like the stuff around his freckle and under his nuts is the same stuff that gets left behind on clothing, after its been through the wash, but not rinsed properly.
Maybe Dan needs to change his diet, and stop eating laundry powder.

Dan, you might want to use your yam bag as a disco ball at your next 70's party.