why do I wipe so much?
The Shit Volcano asks:
I used to have a major problem when I was younger with what I call a "million wiper". I think you know what I'm talking about. You wipe and you wipe and you just can't seem to get clean. Finally, after using half a roll of toilet paper, three million wet wipes, and washing your bung hole out in the sink, you leave with a sore, itchy ass. This went on for years until one day about two years ago when it suddenly stopped cold. What causes million wipers in the first place? And why would they suddenly stop and start happening at random? Note: I stopped eating red meat two years ago because of iron toxicity. (If I spelled it right!) Maybe this had something to do with it but I don't know how.
Hi Shit Volcano!
Your instincts are, as always, right on. The major cause of sticky poo and thus the need to wipe more is grease and fats in the poo. This is probably well documented somewhere, but frankly I don't have the time to look into it.
Curiously enough though, if you lean forward when pinching it off, you may notice very little if anything to wipe.
Thanks for asking!
Please be advised that I am only a Poonurse. I am NOT a medical doctor. Any advice I give should be taken moderate skepticism. Please consult a REAL medical doctor if you feel you have a serious medical condition.
Poonurse is an RN with 25 years experience in labor and delivery. Her qualifications include seeing a lot of poop, and owning a computer. Also, she works in Michigan, which she calls the asshole of the universe, so that's another bit of credibility.
Got a question for her?