Welcome, Motherload!!! No queries for you, but best wishes in your new endeavor!!!

If you do have a question, submit it on the Poonurse soon-to-be Motherload page.

Motherload, you are a gift from Heaven! Thanks for your PM to me about IBS; you are just what this site has been longing for.

And this brings up another issue: Over on the forums, we've been discussing the idea of a separate section regarding Poop and Your Health. The question is, what to call it?

Motherload, I enjoyed chatting with you recently in the Chat Room. Now I find you will bring medical expertise to the site. Excellent! I look forward to your articles!

All hail Sterculius.

It's nice to have someone to answer the hundreds of questions yet again, thank you Motherload in advance.

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I poop because I am...I am because I poop.

I'm so glad someone came to help out again. I have a question already!

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"Double the flush, double the fun" --The Amazing Anus

Hello everyone. Thanks so much for the warm welcome! I am very excited about my new role as a provider of medical information for this site. I hope that the answers I give will serve as helpful insight to the readers that come here for their pooping queries and ponderances.

As your new poodiatrician I hereby take the Hippocratic Oath of Poop Practice:
"I swear by Dave, Fellow Poop Reporters and all those who come here for answers, anecdotes and just general escape from the bowels of reality, that I will look at every question presented to me with seriousness and respect,(hahahahahah) and will dilegenty research (and if necessary perform tests and procedures) and tap into the anus of medicine, ( I do not have a subscription the the 'Annals of Medicine') to determine the best possible response. "

Dumpster, as far as a name for the poop health section name goes; anytime someone is hospitalized regardless of the reason, certain things are ALWAYS documented such as BP, Pulse, and Temp. The next thing that makes the top of the chart is when the last BM occured, the size and consistency of it, and how and where it was achieved. (toilet, bedpan, accident, enema, colostomy bag...) So maybe the section on poop and your health could be called Poop Vitals.

Hope I can be of ASSistance to you all. Thanks again!

This is the most exciting news since the PR podcast was announced (did I miss it, Dave?) Motherload, you probably don’t need to be told that you have some incredibly large white shoes to fill. But you seem qualified in every respect. You should take care, however. Pace yourself, honey, because this is a demanding crowd. Poonurse got surly at times at site members hounding her for answers, answers, answers.

Here’s my first question. Does the medical field recognize the difference between a shart and defecating your pants? Like, would a shart get listed on the chart as the last BM achieved?

Well Logjam, the answer your question would be that a shart is indeed documented in the patient's chart. Any fecal matter that exits a patient's body is considered to be a BM, regardless of the amount. These incidents are either marked as a "leakage", or more commonly, a "smear".

Anyone who has ever stayed in a medical facility for any length of time has a very detailed poop report in their chart. Sharts included. Thanks for asking Motherload!

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Always looking out for number two!

There are times when this site is so together I can't stand it. First, poonurse did leave a huge void (yes, as in evacuation--heh). But in my chat with Motherload recently in the room, I liked the way she handled herself.

There are visitors to PR who are genuinely worried about some condition, symptom or other, and I'd like to think we start them on the road to constructive resolution. Go to it, Mother Supoorier.

Wow Motherload, your a great poop reporter, and you've only been here for like, 2 weeks?

I love your stories, and it'll be great seeing you taking Poonurse's spot (if you want my opinion, I think she...passed on).

Again, welcome.

In regards to TurdTerrorist420's seemingly off-topic post: Sterculius was the Roman god of manure.

A quote from my forthcoming book: "In the year 831, a monk named Paschasius Radbert caused an uproar when he argued that the communion host (which, according to Christian doctrine, becomes the actual body of Christ during the Eucharist) is liable to digestion—and, of course, that to which digestion leads. Radbert and his followers were contemptuously labeled Stercoranists, after Sterculius, the Roman god of manure."

I've always marveled at the selectivity of Christian doctrine--only following the journey of the 'host' so far. Always stopping short of addressing the inevitable.

Blasphemy. Sacrilege. Heresy, the doctrinaire would say. I look forward to the intellectual journey I'll take with your book, Dave-O.

Let's not derail this thread with blather about transubstantiation (aka FICTION).

A hearty welcome to our new resident poop practitioner, as a member of this site for almost a year I've sought help from our advice columnist Dear ANNus here while her advice seems solid I always believe in getting a second opinion.

I ride a bike for exercise and quite often after a long layoff the first few rides leave me with terrible taint pain, what is your advice for good taint health?

Bunga, go to http://www.jimlangley.net/crank/bicycleseats.htm and check this out. I think it will give you all the info you need on your taint. Also, if you prefer, you could just purchase a toilet seat of your liking and attach it to the bike in place of the original seat. (Just be very careful how you mount it).
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Always looking out for number two!

Dave, you have indeed struck the Mother Lode!!

Very, very exciting! A new chapter in Poop Report History. I'm sure you'll doo great, Mom-Lo!
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Fecal Matters.

For that matter, "Ask the Poodiatrician" is a pretty darn good title. Leave it to Dave. You'd think he invented this site or something.

Wow, thanks for all that info Motherload, I never realized there were so many different types of bike seats designed for minimizing taint pain.

Damn wireless connection.

Congratulations on your new poosition here, Motherload. And Dave, you've found a treasure in her knowledge and humor.
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Yes, those are my brown spots. Yes, those are your walls.

Credit where credit is due -- Motherload herself coined "Poodiatrician."

Can't wait for new and informative insights on my insides.