TO: Dave
FROM: rick casteel
DATE: 7.19.02004
SUBJECT: hey, dave...
==============================
i published a wonderful volume called "Poop w/Flies" a few years back and thought your site would be a great forum to sell the books. give me your address and i will send you one for consideration.
thanks
rick casteel
TO: Dave
FROM: George
DATE: 7.1.02004
SUBJECT: poop story
==============================
On a boozed out night, I decided to buy an expensive lemon merangue pie and drop a severely impacted 8 inch long brown club right on the middle of the pie as a topping. I did it in the dead of winter, so as 3 cars' headlights shone on my pasty white ass, my hovering rectum belched up a sweet cloud of methane laced steam. After I wiped my ass with some TP i brought along for the stunt, we drove to the target. One of my good buddies had it coming, so I slammed the ass-pie on the windshield of his car and he called me to see who did it the next morning as he chipped the poop-bomb off of his frozen car.
TO: Dave
FROM: Danielo
DATE: 7.2.02004
SUBJECT: poop story
==============================
a couple friends and i had a night set out to write an independant film entitled "butt face" the basic plot was that we were a couple of stupid kids who wanted to buy some crack from a crack dealer. the crack dealer knew we were stupid so he just shit in a bag and he was going to sell that to us. turns out during the filming of my friend shititng in the bag, a big chunk of it had fallen off the sides of the ziplock baggie going all over my families bathroom. i quickly grabbed the bag and decided to throw it at the house across the street from me and decided i cant do that because they know it wouldve been me so i quickly grabbed the bag, and didnt clean the poop off the side of their house, as im carring the bag to where it would forever reside (the drain system of my town) the heat of the poop started to almost melt the bag causing a sweaty poo like liquid to be all over my hands. after about an hour and a half of us just laughing at the ammount of shit everywhere we decided not to pick anything up and quickly go to sleep. we were awoken by my father screaming up the stairs at about 7:00 in the morning "i dont know what the hell you guys did to the bathroom but this whole house smells like shit!" possibly the funniest thing ever.
TO: Dave
FROM: Joshua D.
DATE: 7.3.02004
SUBJECT: Relieved to get answers
==============================
I have recently started taking Prilosec and also started consuming Cherry Kool Aid. I have Acid Reflux, so the Prilosec is necessary for the healing process, as well as getting rid of painful heartburn on a regular basis. My acid reflux is the result of years of drinking Dr Pepper (About 6-12 cans a day for 8 years). It finally got to the point that the heartburn was so painful, I had to do something about it. It was painful to eat and painful to breathe. Come to find out, I actually burned a hole through my esophagus. Now that pain, at least, made sense.
So, I stopped drinking all soft drinks cold turkey. Haven't had a drop of soft drink in almost a year now. However, as all vices need a replacement, I started drinking Cherry Kool Aid. A short while after, I started noticing that my poop was GREEN! How did this happen? Is it the Prilosec? Is it the Cherry Kool Aid? Or is it something else? And, should I be concerned?
I was relieved to come upon your site, only after doing my own home experiment. As painful as it was, I stopped taking Prilosec for about a week, but continued to drink Cherry Kool Aid. Still have the GREEN poop. I thought, "Surely after a week of no medicine, the Prilosec would not still be causing this." So, I switched. I started taking the Prilosec again, but stopped drinking Cherry Kool Aid. No more GREEN poop. Huh? I thought. Can Cherry Kool Aid really cause GREEN poop?
To my relief, but not entirely surprised, I found your website on the poop report. I was relieved to find that the reason for my GREEN poop is for no other reason than the dye used in Cherry Kool Aid. (Haven't tried the Purpleasaurus Kool Aid... yet). Good to know that no harm is done, just a simple chemical reaction. Thanks for the research!
TO: Dave
FROM: anonymous coward
DATE: 7.4.02004
SUBJECT: poop story
==============================
i eat poop
i love poop
yummy yummy poop
TO: Dave
FROM: tor h
DATE: 7.5.02004
SUBJECT: POOP for Dave
==============================
An amusing poop ad satire, entitled Beam A Poop.
Hope you dig.
http://www.ic-musicmedia.com/...
TO: Dave
FROM: Dave whatshisface Petty
DATE: 7.7.02004
SUBJECT: Re: EMERGENCY! Keep a pooper out of jail!
==============================
Dave,
it might be interesting to note that troy's employer broke the law when he fired him. Unless the employer had a good reason like no-call no-show or something like that he cant fire him just because the FBI was asking questions. Troy has a beautiful law-suit here against both his boss and the FBI - the one for braking the law and the other for causing harm to an innocent civilian. If he had a good enough lawyer he could not only get enough money to pay the fine but prolly retire for life.
TO: Dave
FROM: Lynn Chang
DATE: 7.7.02004
SUBJECT: Re: EMERGENCY! Keep a pooper out of jail!
==============================
Dave,
I think it's important to help out someone who's sphintcer let him down. Where do I send my $5 and how can I guarantee it's going to help pay for the fine? I want to know he's not spending it on Ex-Lax or anything because he's so wierd.
TO: Dave
FROM: Jack Cluth
DATE: 7.9.02004
SUBJECT: Re: Sad update on the Penn. Pants Pooper
==============================
I'm not sure how much help this will be, but I decided that a little publicity from my dark corner of the Internet probably couldn't hurt:
http://intellectualize.org/...
Cheers....
TO: Dave
FROM: Demetron303
DATE: 7.14.02004
SUBJECT: Re: PoopNews ||||| Don't go in there...
==============================
That Troy thing- How do you know he wasn't a terrorist? just checking...
TO: Dave
FROM: SabaNJ66
DATE: 7.8.02004
SUBJECT: Re: Help the Pennsylvania Pants Pooper!
==============================
Email me again and I will notify your ISP that you are spamming.
TO: Dave
FROM: Oni
DATE: 7.7.02004
SUBJECT: discussions
==============================
Hey all!
When I was little (around 5) I had a friend down my road. I used to go down to his house near daily. He had to shit ALL the time. I had to go quite a lot too. Being young, we had no concept of body shame, and so would be in the same room as each other when taking a BM. We didn't care, he was just doing a poo.
The first time he did it was when we were playing with a toy ship in his bathroom, and he dropped his pants, asked 'do you mind?' 'No', I said, 'I do poos too'. This was a kind of opening. We were completly open about it, even comparing BMs.
I only had one embarrasing experience. We were playing in his room, and I felt a pressure above my bum. ' I need a poo' I said 'ok, just a minuite 'I gotta poo now!'
We walked the short distance to the toilet, and I sat down. Instead of my BM, a huge, smelly fart came out. I pushed and pushed, but no poop.
My friend didnt bat an eyelid at the fart. 'Aren't you going to have a poo?'
'I cant'
He found this funny.
'Tom cant do a poo' he sang, in his annoying pre-adolecent voice. Tom cant do a poo, Tom cant do a poo!'
This went on for hours...
I liked this poop freedom, and wondered if anyone else had experienced the same thing, or had any storys?
TO: Dave
FROM: Julie
DATE: 7.9.02004
SUBJECT: mail bag
==============================
Poop IS NOT GOOSD FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TO: Dave
FROM: Roy Newton
DATE: 7.10.02004
SUBJECT: fun with poop
==============================
Me and my friend Brock went to this Longhorn Steathouse in Tallahassee,Fl.I had to take a shit and I did.It was a pile of the most vile and utterly repulsive shit anyone can imagine.It was brown and green,with particles that looked like peanuts.Itwas semi-liquid,with a a red tint.There was this old guy named Tim who was in the cublicle next to me.He worked for the restaurant.I couldn't let the abstract masterpiece go to waste.
I picked it up with a mondo wad of toilet paper and threw it over to the old bastard.After wiping my shitty anus of course.I hauled ass out of there with Brock and drove off.We thought we were in the clear but the old shit came after us in his Chevy Malibu.The guy had a micro uzi and fired at us!We rode to lake Jackson which was dried up at the time,drove onto the dry lakebed and made it across the lake.We saw him coming and thought we were dead,but his car drove into a sinkhole,which dried the lake 6 years before.We drove off back to the highway laughing and left.(We entered through Quincy Highway on the West sideof the big lake,we drove 20 miles to the east side,where the Tim drove his car into the hole)I had eaten too much chicken fingers,that's why I had such a horrific bowelmovement.
TO: Dave
FROM: Rehoboth
DATE: 7.12.02004
SUBJECT: i almost didn't make it! from Rehoboth
==============================
it was 1:00 am and i had bad diarrhea and i had to leep out of bed and run to the bathroom and triped on the area rug, i have in my room, i triped on it 3 times! as i rounded the corner of my room to the bathroom i could feel it getting ready to shoot out. i triped on the aera rug i have in the bathroom too. i finaly made it to my destination, the toilt, only my butt was 1/2 way on when it shot out,i had just made it. but it ehcoed for 15 seconds stright. to make matters worse on my behale my sister has the nurve to quote a diarrhea comerical..."where are you when your diarrhea comes back."
i dont know if this is the right way to tell the site this but its how i'm gonna do it. if its the wrong way i am sorry for the inconvenience.
thankyou
-Rehoboth
TO: Dave
FROM: Draino Max
DATE: 7.13.02004
SUBJECT: poop story
==============================
Threwout my experiences with poop and crapping there are many different terms used to decribe the prosses of pooping.. in this I have had to pick a favorite, like most people. and in that I have chosen: Empty the cement truck... This all goes back to a school band trip, we had gone down to Buch Gardens and we stayed in a hotel close by. Durring dinner one night, I felt like I had a hangover, so I went to my room early.
Ten minets later my freind comes knocking at my door. He had forgotten his room key and he said he had to "empty the cement truck" I said whatever like a dope and let him in. he runs to the bathroon and I hear the worst sounds of my life. a grunt and a repeated splashing and then he walks out and said thanks..
I was a quizitive cat so I tip-toed over to the bathroom and I die... there is poo everywhere. not only on the seat-oh no- its on the floor the roll of paper. its splattered on the wall and I dont know what to do...
My frend had gone to get chaperone, poor dear, she had to clean it up. I offered my help but she refused. I never forgave Kev for dumping the load in my room. and neither did my roommates.
A few weeks later we relay the story and see how humorous it is... then at the mini-mall we are frightend again by the sight we saw. This old woman could mae it to the restroom in time so she just popped-a-squat right there. Prune juise goes right threwthem.
Simmilar insidents were recoded my medics, and the attention got caught by the local news. It had been said that a Deli, not far from where I lived had been putting a laxitive suggar in the iced tea and baked goods. It was not harmfull, it was just a powerfull laxitive.
TO: Dave
FROM: pyroperson
DATE: 7.15.02004
SUBJECT: poop story
==============================
It starts out on a normal day, me waking up late, eating breakfast, then playing some video games. All of a sudden, I find that my breakfast has been quickly processed. It had to come out. So I strolled to the bathroom, and what halfway done when the thing EXPLODED! What I figure happened was there was a huge gas bubble inside the thing, and when the high pressure gas bubble hit the normal air, it poped! I was laughing for days over this one!
TO: Dave
FROM: hehehe..evil
DATE: 7.15.02004
SUBJECT: poop story
==============================
Growing up in a small christian school and approaching 8th grade graduation, I decided to plan a prank on either my mean and strct bible teacher or my very strict fun hating nurse, who had given me numerous demerits in the past, just for such an act like throwing erasers in art class. One of my friends, manuel, lived in the neighborhood right next to the nurse's, whose name was ms anders,the mean nurse, so I decided I would demean something of hers with my royal excrements. Turned out she had a small in ground pool! I told my plan of evil to manuel who thought it was weird but agreed to aid me in the quest. (The plan was to unload in her clear blue chlorine filled pool) well the night came and about at 5 30 when the sun was setting we told manuels parents we were goin biking, we biked over 2 ms.anders house (we had to double check the address) and scouted the area, making sure no1 was around.
As soon as we cleared the area manuel ran up, dumping his load in the edge of the pool..(most of it stuck the sides). As soon as he was done I went for it, but tripped over flower pot, alarmed someone would notice I hid behind their tool shed, biding my time. As soon as I thought I was in the safe again I ran up to the edge, squatting down and unloading a huge 6 inch turd, turning the water where it dropped a murky mud color. We quickly rode back to manuels house, laughing our posteriors off and thinking of her reaction when she sees it. Anyway its now summer and she still doesn't know, and me and manuel hav been livin good, knowing that our plan was successful.
TO: Dave
FROM: Chuck
DATE: 7.16.02004
SUBJECT: poop story
==============================
Not the best of photos, but the accompanying text is interesting.
http://poetry.rotten.com/five-foot-long/
TO: Dave
FROM: someonenamedsusen
DATE: 7.16.02004
SUBJECT: poop story
==============================
well this is a story my dad passed to me and here it goes. it was in the summer and my dad was taking a road trip with his family when all of a sudden his mom (my grandma) had to go and had to go bad so they stopped at the nearest gas station. grandma rushed in slammed the single toilet stall door shut and let it fly. after a few minutes she ran out horrified without her purse. when she got to the car she explianed that in her hast she had totally missed the tiolet but hit her purse. my aunt went in to investigate and caame out disgusted. my grandma retrieved the most important things leaving the purse for others to find.
TO: Dave
FROM: larfus
DATE: 7.26.02004
SUBJECT: plumbers Truck
==============================
I see poopreport.com on the side of this.
TO: Dave
FROM: Crapperoo
DATE: 7.14.02004
SUBJECT: poop story
==============================
It begins.
One day, about 9 years ago, (I was 11, at the time.)
I went to a ranch with my family down in East Texas.
It was a nice place, although it had one flaw.
NO INDOOR PLUMBING!
I wasn't bothered by this, though it was still lingering in my mind, I
shrugged it off.
Anyway, when I reached the ranch, I partook in a massive Texas-style dinner.
Steaks, mashed potatoes, cornbread, the works.
I ate till I was contempt.
It was late so I went to bed, little did I know what awaited me the next
day.
In the morning I woke, I didn't want breakfast because I had eaten so much
the other day, so I just went out to explore.
After a while, I began to feel a heavy sensation in my intestines, I knew I
would have to poop, but I thought it could wait.
I explored some more until the ranch was just within sight, I decided that I
should take a break, and head to the outhouse.
A few minutes later, the sensation grew worse, and I started to pick up the
pace.
A few mins later the pressure on my bumhole was so intense,
I started to run like the wind, but I knew It wasnt possible.
Finally I was 50 ft away from the outhouse, just a mosey from where I stood.
I galloped towards it, but to no avail.
All the movement caused my hole to lose the calf.
I slid a lincoln-log right into my tighty-whiteys.
AWW SHITT! I yelled.
I figured I could just go to the outhouse and drop the briefs into the hole,
no one would know.
I did exactly that, well, sort of.
When I reached the safety of the outhouse, I realized that the log had
squashed all over my ass, (I had been wearing tight jeans) and there was
hardly enough TP for this job.
What to do?
I tossed the undies down the hole, and cleaned what I could.
I trudged into the house and to my surprise, nobody noticed the shit-stain
on my jeans.
I got off scott free.
Yee-haw!!!!!!!
TO: Dave
FROM: DANIAL SMITH
DATE: 7.17.02004
SUBJECT: she likes to pottyand has a potty good blog too.
==============================
I droped a blog once could not get it to flush; and with a big too. I'll never give up my old pot!
TO: Dave
FROM: Matthew Kasic
DATE: 7.18.02004
SUBJECT: poop story
==============================
I am in year eight in high school and normally avoid pooping in school One day i was desperate but figured i could hold it in During a lesson i was needin to go BAD so i lied that i had to return a book cos u never say you need the bathroom He let me go and i dashed there I thought it would be empty cos its mid lesson but i was wrong The only stall was occupied I heard a flush and hid waiting for him to exit Then i dashed in there and bolted the door shut Now with my legs crossed in agony i began to paper the seat but as i did a quarter the seats are massive i felt it come I WRENCHED my pants down and sat down on the pot LUCKY i did as two large logs shot out I stood up and pulled my pants up then exited I was heading back to the lesson when it hit again I BOLTED back to find it occupied again When he finished i wrenched down my pants and a small turd came out I then exited back to my lesson
TO: Dave
FROM: Dave
DATE: 7.18.02004
SUBJECT: poop story
==============================
One day I went to a out door music festival in my home town with my parents, the day was fine I enjoyed music and some food a Root beer float to be exact, it got really dark and I felt rumble in my bottom the find of rumble that says you need to go now. So I had to find my way to the port-a-john before my root beer float found my pants. I got to the port-a-john and there was a line. It was very dark and I was standing in that line for some time and I was in the need to relieve my self.
The moment of truth came, the band I came to see was on stage they were getting started when I stepped in to the pitch black toilet and I hear Don t Fear the Reaper while I am hovering over where I hope the toilet was. My butt was covered in what was root beer float and I was not about to grope the port-a-johns walls looking for toilet paper. So I did the worst thing ever, I put my pants back on. I walk out knowing that the next person will see that I have done a bad thing so I walk like I just sat in some mud, I am walking to my seat where my parents were but I walk past some girls I liked the asked me to sit so I sat knowing that I could not tell them that I had poo in my pants and I need to go home, so I am sitting on the ground with some girls that I am attracted to and I have creamed my under pants.
I felt miserable I was sitting there with the girls and I had to act interested in what they were saying but all I was thinking of was what was in my pants. Finley I say something tike I am really feeling sick I think that I am ganna go home. I then walk to my parents and I did not sit on the lawn chair I stood and said to my mom I need to go home I had diarrhea and not let any one else hear, it was a good thing that me and my dad came in one car and my mom came in another so that me and my mom could go home and my dad didn t have to miss the show. So I went home in the back of my moms van lying sideways on the back seat. That was my story I missed the band I wanted to see because I had no command on my colon.
TO: Dave
FROM: altehase
DATE: 7.19.02004
SUBJECT: fun with poop
==============================
Greetings! Just thinking, while on the toilet, that maybe your site could use a mascot. You know, maybe some sort of cartoon character. Similar to Mr Hankey. He's outdated and the people need a new champion. Maybe hold an art contest where viewers submit and also vote. Who knows, it may lead to comic books!
TO: Dave
FROM: Crapola
DATE: 7.19.02004
SUBJECT: Another Blog item
==============================
Hi again Dave,
Today, I saw a Third Ave bus with a cool graphic ad on its side:
It was for FUSE music video TV. It was styled to look like one of those Mac iPod ads, with a fluorescent color background and a hipster silhouetted in black.
This one had a lime green background with a black silhouette of a fat guy bent over, farting, and a black silhouette hand holding a back silhouette cigarette lighter by his ass, with a flame bursting from the fart.
I think it said "FUSE. Watch different" or some play on Apple advertising slogans.
Wish I had my camera to take a photo for you. But keep an eye out for it. It's really funny. And it works so well with the name "FUSE" !!
Best,
Crapola
TO: Dave
FROM: Moira Cue
DATE: 7.19.02004
SUBJECT: messy stench
==============================
Hey Dave, googled "poop" and came across your site, maybe, you would like my friend Messy Stench? She's an artist, this is her site, she does an Internet radio show and likes poop jokes.
http://www.craptabulous.com/
Maybe you guys would link to it or do a review or have her model or somethin?
Moira
TO: Dave
FROM: Nancy
DATE: 7.17.02004
SUBJECT: ask poonurse
==============================
I feel violated. My van was smeared w/human poo. Someone worked it into the doorhandles and the windshield. Why would someone do this. I don't think it was a prank. I AM QUITE UPSET. Please give me some insight. Thanks
TO: Nancy
FROM: Dave
DATE: 7.19.02004
SUBJECT: re: ask poonurse
==============================
if you don't think it was a prank, what do you think it was?
Don't worry about it. I get tons of emails from stupid teenagers who think they're cool because they committed acts of turd terrorism.
Yours,
Dave
PoopReport
TO: Dave
FROM: Nancy
DATE: 7.21.02004
SUBJECT: re: ask poonurse
==============================
Dear Dave--
Thank you PooNurse. I feel consoled. The phrase "Turd Terrorism" help to put it in perspective. Thanks for reply.
Yours-
NO More A Poo Victim--Nancy
TO: Dave
FROM: Brown Recluse
DATE: 7.20.02004
SUBJECT: poop story
==============================
I remember back in high school, the bowls would hardly have any water in them. I always seem to pop the cork right before baseball practice. (Didn't want the bat girls to see me leave the field for I would never get a date if they knew I shat alot) Well, heat exhaustion and a ton of Gatorade does not a happy colon make. One afternoon, I had to go, so I went to the locker room and flat out let the DQ swirl down towards the shallow water.
We all know the water is there to cover up the stench of rotting inerds. This DQ was a triple dipper and looking back before I wiped I saw what looked like a deserted island sprouting through the rust stained water. I hate to leave them for others, but I was very fond of my creation almost to the point of excitement. One of my fellow players caught me in the act of admiration, and all I could think of saying at that point was " DUDE, I just copped an ISLANDER". Since then, everything that breaks the surface of the small ocean in a shitter, I call an islander, and god do they ever stink!!!!!!!!!!!! Great way to get back at someone!!
_________________
"With great shits, comes great responsibilities"
TO: Dave
FROM: Brown Recluse
DATE: 7.20.02004
SUBJECT: Swiss invention
==============================
This will cure many shameful shitters!!!
_________________
"With great shits, comes great responsibilities"
TO: Dave
FROM: Nate in Arizona
DATE: 7.27.02004
SUBJECT: Pooping ads
==============================
Hi Dave....although I've been a lurker and poster to griot.net for years, I just found your site through google and wanted to know a bit more. As you know, the griot moderation prevents anyone contacting others through the forum, which is what I've been looking for. I notice your site doesn't appear to offer this, and perhaps is not set up to allow connections between members. That is, if you allow posting of one's email address within the post. I have a lot of stories to share, but most have a sexual content, which may be outside the scope of your forum, which seems to be predominately one of pooping humor. Anyway, I'd appreciate hearing your comments before I take the leap of posting any stories; thanks!
TO: Dave
FROM: Dan Smith
DATE: 7.29.02004
SUBJECT: academic
==============================
I still have nightmares about german tolit paper it's so tough it has treads for better grip,that is every thing but poop.
TO: Dave
FROM: John D. Dieter
DATE: 7.31.02004
SUBJECT: Have you nothing on ShitSculpting?
==============================
Perhaps we could colaborate?
Shit Sculpture
TO: Dave
FROM: Katherine Williams
DATE: 7.31.02004
SUBJECT: Two-toned poop
==============================
Hi, Dave,
This is really wierd, and I'm only writing this to you on the condition that this remain anonymous, but this morning I had a very unusual BM. It was two-toned longwise. One side was green, and the other was brown. As if it was two poops molded into one. Kind of a yin and yang.
Ever heard of this? I didn't drink the purple kool-aid you write about.
Katherine Williams
