TO: Dave
FROM: Colin Charles
DATE: 8.16.02001
==============================
This is from the author of The Transcendence of Shit: A Global Perspective. I don't really know what it's supposed to mean, but it's art. --Dave
TO: Dave
FROM: Adam S.
DATE: 10.26.02001
==============================
I, too, had to go for a rectal. (He's referring to this. --Dave)
It was an experience I'd like to avoid
repeating. But your information on rectals and all things "poop" provided me with much
comfort in what was a difficult period for my bum.
Many thanks.
Adam S*****
Assistant Professor of Political Science
P***** University
TO: Dave
FROM: Trevor
DATE: 10.24.02001
==============================
I think flaming poops is worthy of Poop Reporting.
---------
trevor has sent you a special Halloween greeting.
Just click on the URL and stomp on the offering!
here
10/15/01 10:45 AM
S1ndustries: u r sux
PoopReport: sorry?
S1ndustries: better be
PoopReport: uh oh are you flaming me?
S1ndustries: yes
PoopReport: why?
S1ndustries: shutup
PoopReport: oh, good point
PoopReport: can i help you?
S1ndustries: yes by shutting up
PoopReport: are you going to say something?
PoopReport: or will there just be an awkward silence
PoopReport: (awkward silence)
S1ndustries: awkward shutup
PoopReport: uhhh
PoopReport: why did you IM me then?
S1ndustries: because your website sucks
PoopReport: based on what?
S1ndustries: the worlds opinion
PoopReport: wow, you know the whole world's opinion? man, i wish i had met you earlier, before i embarked on this foolish endeavor
S1ndustries: ch3a
PoopReport: ?
PoopReport: come on cletus, let's stop this a-fussin and a-fuedin
PoopReport: well? i just extended the olive branch
PoopReport: are you ignoring me?
Automated Response from S!ndustries:
S1ndustries: I will be right back.
PoopReport: oh, ok, i'll wait
PoopReport: so you run ursux?
PoopReport: i miss you... we were really making a breakthrough on our friendship.
PoopReport: well?
PoopReport: this is the most boring flame war i've ever engaged in
TO: Dave
FROM: adam
DATE: 10.22.02001
==============================
once i ate my own shit
TO: Dave
FROM: Stinkie
DATE: 10.19.02001
==============================
I shit on wolves.
TO: Dave
FROM: Sue M.
DATE: 10.9.02001
==============================
the first use i've found of poop in web advertising!
TO: Dave
FROM: Lance
DATE: 10.2.02001
==============================
Years ago there was a product that came out of a can that was a foaming
version of poop. You could spray long yards of it. It looked and glistened like
real poop.
Does anyone know the name of this product or where you can get it? It would be
great for any number of gags.
TO: Dave
FROM: shitty smelly ass bastard
DATE: 9.23.02001
==============================
I like shit, shit ass!
Eat shit, it is good for the teeth and it saves sugar.
I need shit pictures, especially camel shit if possible. I want to make a
powerpoint presentation of bin Laden and Camel poop would certainly apply to this smelly
shitty mother fucking prick face ass-hole with cheesy balls that smell like
fucking hell, ya know (hell = afganistan BTW)
TO: Dave
FROM: anonymous insecure poop fan
DATE: 9.7.02001
==============================
One question: Am I wierd to be such a pooper? I mean, there aren't many
chicks that think poo is not only not a big deal, but also quite funny. I
mean, I'm not a total poop freak like I don't think it is funny to eat it or
anything...but sometimes I just wonder...why do I think poop is so funny? Do you ever wonder?
PoopReport Responds:
you're asking the guy who runs PoopReport if you're weird for enjoying
poopreport? Obviously you're about to get a biased response.
I think most people think its funny, guy or girl. and once they get over their
initial revulsion, they like the site. It's just very shocking for people at
first. But I've won over my parents and my girlfriend...
i'm with you. i think shit eating and all that fetish stuff is nasty. I just
think theres a lot of humor in it, which is why i run the site. What makes it
funny is that it's so universal -- everyone does it, everyone can relate to it.
It's funny to think that George W Bush or Michael Jackson or The Queen of England
goes through the same trials and tribulations in the can as you or I. WHen it
comes to pooping, the richest person is as helpless and silly looking as the
poorest. there lies the humor.
so no, you're not wierd, you just get the joke.
TO: Dave
FROM: Chip Brown
DATE: 8.28.02001
==============================
The lords of potty punk post this pathetic website. But take it from me,
these guys will rock frothy brown export wine from your puckered starfish!
www.geocities.com/beersoftenedstool/index.html
TO: Dave
FROM: Chris
DATE: 8.17.02001
==============================
http://www.ragewarehouse.com/poopy.htm
The home page for Operation Poopy Pants which includes a photo gallery and true
stories of placing Poopy Pants. Coming soon is the story of Skidmark America, how
one man quit his job to drive across the country to distribute pairs of dirty
underwear. Also a true story.
TO: Dave
FROM: dg
DATE: 8.14.02001
==============================
http://fecesfarms.com
STOP!
Are you still buying your fake
poop the old fashioned way?
Buy Online!
Not mass-produced corporate poop,
it's customized intelligent poop.
Poop with a message!
Poop for the people!
You have a right to be heard, send 'em a turd.
More than a right... it's your civic dooty!
Here's what you get...
A discreetly labeled gift box,
.....shipped anywhere in the world for FREE*
Each includes ...
A "Cerdefecate of Authentishitty"
A tastefully tasteless and realistic turd
Your choice"pretzel" or "log!"
Include one of over 100 Greeting Cards, for FREE*
Or you can customize your very own
..... special greeting online right now
http://fecesfarms.com
TO: Dave
FROM: L.
DATE: 8.8.02001
==============================
Dear Dave,
You may already know about this but in case you don't here is what helps poos
in a big way. Biiiiiiiiggg.
Put your feet on a stool about 9 - 12" off the floor (so you are sort of
crouched). As my fiance and I say "you just don't understand".
Another thing that helps - fruit first thing in the morning. Before anything
else and no fruit after.
wooweee.
Best,
L.
TO: Dave
FROM: thomas fecess
DATE: 8.8.02001
==============================
Take your daily poop and lay it on some
plastic wrap. Roll it up and tight a knot at one end and cut off the long strip
of unused plastic wrap,slide one condom over the end and fill the condom with your
daily poop. Put into storage where it is warm and in about 2 weeks you will have
a collection of poop that has types of smells,load these condoms into your
plastic diapers and enjoy the comfort as each condom breaks and sends
forth a different type of thick or slick poop to lubricate your privates. Enjoy!
