TO: Dave
FROM: Brooklyn_Tootie_Misty_chica_Summer_Ginger_
DATE: 7.8.02002
SUBJECT: ask poopreport
==============================
Why do dogs eat poop and we can't?...
And why do dogs like poop dose it tast good?...And why dose my horse like to sniff her
poop?...And dose any body eat poop and live?...And i would like to tell you i love this
web sit!!!!!!
TO: Dave
FROM: Doniker
DATE: 7.8.02002
SUBJECT: anal surgery vacation
==============================
On Friday, June 28th, my daughter, my wife and I left our home in Ohio for
what I thought would be a normal family vacation. Our plans included
visiting relatives in South Carolina and Florida, and also spending time at
an oceanfront condo.
Starting Monday, June 24th, my wife started to complain about her
hemorrhoids. This is nothing new -- she always has had 'roid problems. By
Thursday, the 27th, the pain was brutal and she realized that this was no
ordinary hemorrhoid, so she went to the doctor. The doctor said it was an
anal fissure. The doctor gave her some antibiotics and some pain pills and
told her it should clear up in a few days.
He was wrong. We spent 12 hours
on the road on Friday and by Friday night my wife was in unbearable pain.
Saturday morning I took her to an emergency room at a hospital in South
Carolina. They admitted her and called in a surgeon. She had an anal gland
infection, and the surgeon removed a sack of pus the size of an orange.
After a day in the hospital, they packed the wound, gave her some Percosets
and sent her on her way. The wound is on her "taint" (the space between her
asshole and her vagina hole) and is big enough that she can stick her finger
in it. I asked her if I could pull a Jeffrey Dahmer and "wound fuck" her
taint hole, but she declined my offer. She has already spent over $100 on
gauze and bandages because every time she had to take a shit it is a major
production of taking a sitz bath, padding off, and bandaging up. She eats
a lot of stool softener to ease the pain.
This whole ordeal has made me appreciate my healthy bunghole !!!!
TO: Dave
FROM: Jenna
DATE: 7.10.02002
SUBJECT: ask poopreport
==============================
How common is "front-wiping" among men? I recently walked in on my boyfriend in
the bathroom while he was wiping his ass and was shocked to see that he was wiping his
ass from the front: i.e. putting his hands between his legs to reach his asshole. Is
this common among men, or does this vary by ethnicity (my boyfriend is of russian
descent) or age (he's 25)? Don't know why this image has stuck with me. Thanks.
TO: Dave
FROM: poogirl
DATE: 7.12.02002
SUBJECT: poop story
==============================
I was trying on clothes at the dressing department at a clothing store. I was
naked down to my bra and pantys, when sudenley a wave of the screamin shits hit me! My
pantys where ruiend and the mease had splatered allover the jens I was going to try on!!
I got dresst and put the messey jens back on the rack. I was so embaresed. As soon as I
whent home anuther wave hit me, It splaterd all over my pants, I ran up-stairs and as I
did more bursted out with each step I climbed! I spent about 30 minutes in the
bathroom!!
TO: Dave
FROM: Brown Seymour
DATE: 7.12.02002
SUBJECT: poop story
==============================
Lately I've been experiencing something similar to diarrhea, but a bit more
solid. Essentially, it feels like the squirts going out, but once they've reached the
bowl something very special happens.
These numerous tiny squirts join forces as they pile on top of each other. By the time I
am finished, there is a super-poo about twice the size of my fist. We're talking about a
lumpy spheroid over 5 inches in diameter. This thing is pretty solid. It will take
multiple flushes to break it up.
The sheer girth would be mind boggling to anyone who didn't know how it was constructed.
I am considering leaving the next one unflushed at work so that others can marvel at the
beast. I love the idea of the viewer imagining the goatse.cx caliber of anus that would
be required to pass such a thing.
TO: Dave
FROM: jacie
DATE: 7.12.02002
SUBJECT: poop in the office
==============================
one day while i was at work i felt the sudden urge of needing to poop.i wass
drowned in work and didnt want to stop because then i would to work over time.but after
a while i couldnt hold it anymore,so i decided i would go to the bathroom.there is no
bathroom on my floor.there is one 2 levels up from me and one 2 down from me.i went to
the upstairs one because less people go to that one.i was half way up the stairs when it
was about to come out of my butt i couldnt hold it in anymore so i started to run.just
my luck.my boss was coming down the stairs and stopped me.he started asking me questions
and stuff but i had to go so bad i wasnt paying attention.then all of a sudden i blurted
out shutup or im going to shit my pants.
i pushed him to the side and kept heading
upstairs.i was desperatly tring to squezz my butt so non would come out.i was there i
went to open the bathroom door and it was locked.shit shit shit i thought.thats the only
bathroom on this floor.i cant make it down stairs.so i took the elavator down.there was
3 other people in the elavator with me.i started letting out the worst farts.and then it
happend.the turd started slidding out my butt.then the elavator stopped and lett us out.
i ran to the bathroom.not noticing i went into the mens bathroom.i went to a stall and
pulled down my pants and sat it felts so good to know i didnt poop my pants.then i stood
up.i felt something wet on my butt.i forgot to pull down my panties.i pooped them all
up.i was so embarrased!
TO: Dave
FROM: Scatmanmac
DATE: 7.13.02002
SUBJECT: poop in the office
==============================
most artistic scat related website on the net is www.swallow-my.com I have never
seen such high quality, unique ideas as this site has.
Beauty & the Beast would some it up in one go, beautiful women excreting in beautiful
places.
TO: Dave
FROM: gotcrap?
DATE: 7.15.02002
SUBJECT: poop story
==============================
I was at the airport not long before my plane was sposed to come when I started
feeling my stomach gurgle and cramps set in like never before. I thought maybe I was
just getting butterflies since my plane time was nearing. But it didn't go away. Soon
the farts began. I'm not talkin little girlie farts, I'm talkin about farts that kind
of eek out silently and could stink up a whole room in one blow. So pretty soon I'm on
my plane, nervous that if it came down to it I'd have to use the gross little throne in
the back of the plane. Not much later, it hit... that warm rush that comes suddenly out
of nowhere. After trying to hold out for just a little longer, I realized that if I
didn't go soon I might dump it all right there in my seat.
So I scooted past my
neighbor and hurried back to let loose. I wondered where my liquidy yet chunky squirts
would go as I enjoyed my much needed exit of diarrhea. As I headed for the door of the
tiny potty I almost felt bad for the other passengers, realizing the place would
probably stink for quite a while. Later during the plane ride I overheard a guy behind
me comment on how rude it was to take a dump on a plane in front of so many people.
This kind of angered me so I turned around and told him off. Needless to say those
people weren't too happy with me that day, but hey, when you gotta go, you gotta go.
TO: Dave
FROM: Lauren
DATE: 7.15.02002
SUBJECT: ask poopreport
==============================
what is the proper way to fold/bunch toilet paper when wiping one's ass? is it
off limits to refold toilet paper you just wiped with by folding over to use again to
wipe? i say its gross, my boyfriend insists it's the right thing to do. please help.
TO: Dave
FROM: sue
DATE: 7.17.02002
SUBJECT: ask poopreport
==============================
i flushed a glass bottle of nail polish down the toilet into our 6 thousand
bottle septic tank. i think my husband is going to flush me!!!!
HELP HELP
TO: Dave
FROM: J.R. Weber
DATE: 7.20.02002
SUBJECT: ask poopreport
==============================
Once I was walking around when that fimiliar rumbling began in my colon. I
stopped at a supermarket and went to the bathroom. Just as I was sitting down do take
care of business I noticed a diaper changing station and inpiration struck. I blasted
the dookie on the counter of the changer and used it as a canvas, swirling it around,
creating a cornacorpia of feces. Whoever went to change their child's poopey diaper
after that incident must have thought the previous user had a terrible disease.
TO: Dave
FROM: Pam
DATE: 7.21.02002
SUBJECT: ask poopreport
==============================
I was driving to work one day, now mind you i work in a doctor's office, so I
have to wear those white scrub outfits. Well, anyway, my job is 30 minutes away from
where I live. I was drinking a cup of coffee on the way there, and well...needless to
say by the time I got to work I had to shit. When I got there I was a little earlier
than everybody else. And, Oh my God, I didn't know what to do, so I went to the nearest
filling station. When I got there, now mind you this is the only closest place I could
go...the restrooms were out of order. I thought I was going to die.
So I drove back to
the office and felt a fart, so I could not hold it in very well, and I started to shit
myself, so I went up to the door and began knocking as loud as I could, maybe someone
was there and I didn't know it. To my surprise, the doctor was there, but his wife had
to use the car that day, so she dropped him off. I was so embarrased, he let me in. I
told him what had happened, and he told me to go ahead and run back home and change
clothes. On the way out the door, wouldn't you know it, the first few patients of the
morning walked in, one was an old lady with her depends falling down to her knees, I was
so embarrassed, I just turned my head and hurried out. I guess as the old saying
goes......SHIT HAPPENS.
TO: Dave
FROM: buttcoffee
DATE: 7.23.02002
SUBJECT: poop story
==============================
My worst nightmare was happening. I forgot to poop before I went to a college
football bowl game, due to excitement. About an hour before the game started, reality
set in that I was going to have to take a stadium dump. I told my wife we had to get
into the stadium now, as I thought the commodes inside would not have been used as much
since the game had not started yet. Boy, was I wrong. After waiting what seemed like an
eternity, the stall which I was standing behind finally opened up, just about the same
time my sphinc was as well.
As I went in, I noticed that about 3 dumps had been taken
in this particular commode, and not one of them had been flushed down. I had no time to
change stalls, so I proceeded to give the ole hunters squat: pooping while standing.
I'm giggling the whole time, as my load is filling this shitter up to the top! I did
not even try to flush after I was done, since I knew that the whole bathroom would have
to be evacuated due to unhealthy amounts of poop floating around the restroom. Later,
at halftime, I went in that same restroom to take a leak. Police tape was over my
stall. I sure felt sorrow for the poor bastard who ended up cleaning that commode.
TO: Dave
FROM: Mathew
DATE: 7.23.02002
SUBJECT: Bank Deposit
==============================
Fifteen years ago when i was two, my family was doing some business at the bank. It was
afterhours, we were the only ones there. I was still in my diapers, toddling around.
Then i made a poo. I squated down and it fell out of the leg holes, onto the carpet, two
inches away from the tile. It was soft. They say it looked like chocolate ice cream.
TO: Dave
FROM: John OBrien
DATE: 7.25.02002
SUBJECT: fun with poop
==============================
I can't find anything on this site that addresses the problem of shitting and not
looking back to realize that in spite of flushing there is a large poop stain left on
the side of the inside of the bowl. CLEAN IT OFF before you leave.
TO: Dave
FROM: Jenni
DATE: 7.26.02002
SUBJECT: poop story
==============================
My Dad has always been the unusual type. He never hides a good, wet fart.
It always pissed me off when he would fart in my face. So I'd get him back when I felt a
good one. One day, while foldig the laundry, i noticed the large brown "skid marks" in
my Dad's underwear. They were poop stains. How disgusting, I thought. I then felt a
sense of revenge. Instead of folding his underwear, I stuck one pair in each of our
neighbors mailboxes with an attachednote saying "this is what lives next door to you."
A few days went by, and my Dad finnaly realized he had been missing some underwear. He
asked me and I grinned sayig i had no clue. Well, about and hour later the lady next
door comes over ringing our doorbell with a pair of my dads underwear. She gave them
back in a ziplock back and handed him a roll of toiletpaper and left saying "you should
really consider wiping." The next day my dad went out and bought new underwear.
TO: Dave
FROM: Jessica
DATE: 7.27.02002
SUBJECT: had to share...
==============================
I heard you on the radio this morning on my way to work and had to
laugh. I have a very good friend who has a huge problem with poop. She
can't go but maybe twice a month and thinks that it is gross that other
people do it. She told me once that she had told her live in boyfriend
that he could not go in the house while she was there, I just can't
believe it... We are going to Rhode Island in August and there will be
four of us girls and she is trying to tell us we can't go in our room,
can you believe it??...
Another thing that made me laugh was the toilet
paper issue, she steals TP from public bathrooms to take to her house so
she doesn't have to buy it... Oh and I can try and shed some light on
why we go to the bathroom together, there are many reasons I am sure but
the first few that come to mind are, gossip, the question "Do I look
ok", and stuff like that... Hope that helps... and thanks for listening.
Have a good one...
Jessica
TO: Dave
FROM: Melly
DATE: 8.10.02002
SUBJECT: {no subject}
==============================
Hey Dave,
I used to come onto poopreport alot but haven't been on for about a year or so.Just
wanted to say that I'm so pleased to see that the site has expanded but is still chock
full of the little "nuggets" of joy that make the site so much fun.Even as Iam emailing
you, nature calls...I guess the site has that affect on me.It's inspirational.So rock
on, keep up the good work and always wipe front to back.
-Smelly Melly
TO: Dave
FROM: US Immigration Services
DATE: 8.11.02002
SUBJECT: USA Immigration Program
==============================
You are now eligible to live and work in USA. Each year, 50,000 immigrant visas are
made available through the USA Government immigration lottery. The USA State
Department's National Visa Center holds the lottery every year. When permanent residence
is granted you will be authorized to live and work permanently in the United States. You
will also be allowed to bring your spouse and any unmarried children under the age of 21
to the United States. You are eligible even if you are in the USA now.
Please mail the following information to be processed:
Your Name
Your Date of Birth
Your City of Birth
Your State of Birth
Your Country of Birth
Your Current Mailing Address
Your Country of Citizenship
Your Signature _____________
Include a passport photograph.
Include $25 USD processing fee. Make payment to "US Services". You can send US check, US
cash, money order, bank check, international postal order, or credit card. If paying
with credit card please provide the following information:
Card holder name
Card number
Expiration Date
Card- MasterCard, Visa, American Express.
Please send ALL information and payment to this address:
PO Box 5155
McLean, VA 22103
USA
TO: Dave
FROM: Doniker
DATE: 8.13.02002
SUBJECT: cool bathroom
==============================
Hey Dave.
Saturday night My wife and I and another couple went to a mystery dinner at
Dave & Buster's. I don't know if you have ever been to a Dave & Buster's or
even heard of it (they are a national chain) but after several beers I had
to piss. I entered the huge bathroom they have and saw something that would
make any shameful shitter or pisser happy. They have 7 feet tall partitions
between every urinal! Their were 4 rows of like 8 urinal and a tall
partition between each one. I am not a shameful pisser, but it was great to
pee in private.
I can understand a shameful shitter, but a shameful pisser, that is
borderline homophobic and/or anti-social. Many a time, mostly at work, I
will be in the bathroom pissing at a urinal and another guy will walk in to
piss. Even with an open urinal next to me, some guys will walk into a stall
and piss. I will see the top of their heads over the stall and hear them
pissing so I know they aren't shitting. I sometimes think that maybe they
fear "splashback" from urinal peeing, but I can remember previous occasions
when the same guys would be peeing in the urinal already as I enter the
bathroom. I take offense that they don't want to talk to me or are possibly
homophobic.
Anyway I don't ever recall seeing tall partitions between urinals, I am not
a shameful pisser but I love them...I hope it's the wave of the future!
TO: Dave
FROM: Alexandra
DATE: 8.13.02002
SUBJECT: Bathroom Vandals
==============================
Dear Dave, just located your site and appreciate it. I've been convinced that the
FBI should put a team of criminal profilers to work studying the creeps who
vandalize bathrooms. These domestic terrorists do more to ruin the quality of life
in America than serial killers and Al Queda terrorists. The only ones who are
worse are CEOs who loot their own employees pension funds and retirement benefits.
TO: Dave
FROM: thomas prittie
DATE: 8.14.02002
SUBJECT: fun with poop
==============================
bury it deep in your garden and watch your vegetables and fruits take-off for the
moon,why buy shit for the garden when you can dump into your garden every day.Someone
might make a comment that the watermelon has a "shitty" smell
but only you will know the truth,besides this one way to feed all your neighbors and
make snide remarks later about their changing skin color due to the fertlizer that you
added,to make it 100% organic.
