My friend Francois lived in a high rise building and each apartment had a balcony. The balcony below his was the property of a wonderful lady named mrs. baltz and she owned a nasty little rat like dog named Mr. Bojangles. Mr. Bojangles looked like a stuffed animal from Poland and had the personality of Joan Rivers.

Francois despised that yapping dog more than life itself due to the fact that it would NEVER stop barking. He had been down to Mrs. Balt'z apartment to try to "make nice" with the dog but the damn thing had bitten him on the thumb after he'd tried to feed it a piece of bundt cake that Mrs. Baltz had given Francois. Francois had swatted at the overgrown horsefly and from then on the useless mongrel REALLY hated Francois. Just the scent of Francois in the above balcony would send the pooch into hysterics. Francois could take no more.

He started taunting the dog with a stuffed cat lowered down on a string which he would keep barely out of reach. The dog had several nervous breakdowns where it would nearly pass out with rage because it could never snag the wal mart toy.

Francois decided to up the terrorism by getting a recording of a rotweiler and playing it at full volume out on the balcony. Every time that dog heard the sound of the rot it would run back into the apartment in abject horror. Sure enough, it would be back out on there within a few minutes yapping its worthless head off again at Francois.

Finally Francois started collecting poop off the lawn from other canines which was similar in size to Mr. Bojangles. He found some bird feathers and placed it in the dump and lowered it down onto Mrs. Baltz balcony. That night Mrs. Baltz came out and seemed alarmed by what she found. "Mr. Bojangles, how did you catch a bird"?

Francois started putting new items into Mr. Bojangles crap. First a birds head. Then some cigarette butts. Mrs. Baltz stopped allowing Mr. Bojangles to spend time on the balcony worried for the little pal's health. Francois thought he had won his little battle.

The dog refused to give up on his little jihad. Whenever Francois would come home the dog heard the footsteps and started yapping again. Francois had been pushed to the limit and decided to go for broke.

Francois also lucked out by discovering a nearly full sized Lion Replica at a thrift shop. He attached a rope around the lion and lowered it down to mrs. Baltz apartment and sure enough, Mr. bojangles was at the window looking out the window and barking.

You see, Francois had a Kenwood Stereo system with 100 watts of pure power. He obtained an audio recording of a Lion's roar and faced the speaker directly facing down into Mr. Bojangles abode and turned the volume to 8.

Then he slammed the lion against the window by swinging the rope back and forth.

The dog had another nervous breakdown and had to be put on a triple dose of doggie downers which made him sleep nearly 24 hours a day.

Whenever the pooch starting barking again, Francois repeated the lion attack and never had any other problems.