Happy Hotbox

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m 1+ points - Newb
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0

For many years now, I've taken part in a public access radio show with a friend of mine. Given the slot of 2-5 AM, we are often the only ones in the building. Now before I progress with the poo, one has to know just a little bit about Luke.

Luke has been confined to a wheelchair his entire life, and has made the best of it. He brags of his 2nd grade exploits, where he would fall out of his chair so that his large-breasted teacher would pick him up. (Luke is a pig, and if you won't take my word for it, check his website.) But we all seem to like him anyways. It's a common practice to pick on him a little bit every once in a while, but I might have taken it too far last week.

We were at the station with another friend of ours when my stomach began to give warning of an apocalypse in progress. I made way to the charming facilities and laid waste to the toilet. The resulting pile was a horrendous concoction of molten poo, liquid enough to have congealed out of log form, solid enough to have mounded. And oh, the smell -- I felt it would be a crime to waste this beautiful gift of sensory dessert, so I didn't flush it. I closed the door and let it brew for an hour.

Half the station had the stench of doom, but in our studio we were isolated from the fallout. Luke had taken to verbal ejaculations about the "fat bitch that broke my bed!!" and had finally earned his karmic justice. He asked to be wheeled to the bathroom so he could piss. Yes, he is too lazy to wheel himself to the bathroom.

I obliged, rapidly moving him down the corridor so that he would not have a chance to question the foulness that lurked. I pushed him into the bathroom, turned off the lights, and held the door closed forcibly. The intended effect was that he would be unable to find the source of the wretchedness, and thusly was not able to expunge it. Screams of, "Dude, that's SICK!! This isn't funny, guys!" echoed through the studio.

Oh we laughed and laughed, and finally released him from his fecal hotbox. What we found shocked us: he had turned the lights on, maneuvered over to the toilet, taken his piss, but STILL HADN'T FLUSHED THE BEAST.

Common sense dictates that before all else, you would eliminate the Hitler-poo. Perhaps he couldn't help but appreciate its beauty, and understood that to flush would be a crime. It's not really turd-terrorism if the victim likes it, is it?

-- Billious

35 Comments on "Happy Hotbox"

Tydirium's picture
k 500+ points
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First thing I would have done was flush it.

Does he pee sitting down, aiming into the toilet? What about when the stream starts to fail... does it go on his legs, or does he spread them so it hits his chair?

doniker's picture
j 1000+ points
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OK here is what I have to say. As usual I will be sure to hear some flack.

As a youth I worked as a janitor and even in ordinary life I have encountered many turds left in toilets.
After an hour or more the smell of a turd in a toilet would be minimal or non existent. A turd on the floor or out of the bowl may reek for some time, but in a watery bowl....I don't think so.

I have walked into public restrooms where a guy is shitting and farting and it reeks like hell. Even if the person doesn't flush and leaves the shit in the watery toilet, it wouldn't stink that bad an hour or more later.

My 22 year old stepson that lives in my house for free has a bad habit of not flushing his dung. I sometimes thinks he does it on purpose to get back at me for being such a dick to him. I have walking into the bathroom and pissed on his log...never smelled that bad.

This story stinks.
But I will check out that gimp radio website again...looks funny.

Billious's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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He usually sits when he pisses, sometimes he carries a little container with him to piss into.. I've had to go empty that container more times than you ever want to think about...

as for the stink... this shit was mounded ABOVE the water line.. I mean, this was no ordinary shit. It fouled up half that building I tell you!

Grady's picture
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C'mon Doniker, quit being such a hard-ass. It's a story, it entertainment. Not genius, but worth the read. I enjoyed it. Jeezzz

Sniper Wiper's picture
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If the shit is mushy, some of it soaks out through the water. Then the stink can remain indefinitely.

Vatfryer's picture
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LMAO! You are a god, Billious

Dave's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content Moderatora 10000+ points - Super Pooper
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Read our expose on the Courtesy Flush (click "Techniques" in the navigation). We have discussed the smell capacity of poop in the toilet. Billious is right -- if it's peeking, it's reeking.

doniker's picture
j 1000+ points
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as I said, if the crap is on the floor or whatever it will stink long time.
But in water...it's tolerable.

Grady I enjoy being an asshole...it gets me off.

Ass Phlegm's picture
PoopReport of the Year Awardl 100+ points
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That's not the only thing that gets Doniker off.

Thinking about other men whacking their meat seems to get his rocks off too.

-AP

doniker's picture
j 1000+ points
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other men wacking off DOESN'T excite me, Ass Phlegm, but other guys masterbation and sexual habits do INTEREST me, I like to compare them to mine.

This is old news but I was trying to get TBW to admit that his "lady friend" wasn't giving him any. But some fags on this site don't seem to want to rap about getting pussy, they want to stay politically correct. to each his own, boys!!!

crappercritic's picture
0
0

you seem to be getting alot of complaints lately doniker. 22 year old stepson? i had no idea you were such an old guy. i almost feel bad for picking on you now. still, you are a pussy-booger!

Ass Phlegm's picture
PoopReport of the Year Awardl 100+ points
0
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Thanks for the clarification, Doniker. I was half busting your balls and half curious because from the things you've said in the past it wasn't totally clear.

Personally, pussy boogers interest me.

-AP

doniker's picture
j 1000+ points
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crappercritic, I have told my age (I just turned 40) on this site countless times...I guess you never caught on.
My wife squirted out my stepson when she was 17.

the_brown_word's picture
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Pussy boogers? I'd be offended, but for some reason, I'm just not. But seriously... PUSSY BOOGERS?

the_brown_word's picture
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Wow. Sounds like the gimp has much respect for the great number two. Am in the process of digesting his gimpsite AS WE READ. Who knows. Maybe he's into poop.

PoOpPrOpRiEtOr's picture
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LOL That story is frikkin hellarious. and Doniker iz a boogy fuck ass rider

Britney Spears's picture
0
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2 Words (Awsome)

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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I tried doing this at my house but it doesn't work. My dad lost his sense of smell a year ago and doesn't seem to notice the refined stench of a nasty poo.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

magua's picture
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I spewed one of the nose killers one it smelt like green beans and onion rings - god bless a man that as achieve the tale of the foot long stink pickle - the record for the big stick is 8 feet long done by a polish man the has the formulation - email me and i will get it out to u this is a science and truly formed are every one needs to enjoy this it is euphoria

Deuce Fan's picture
0
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Critiquing brown bomb stories? Doniker is a rectum invader.

Scatilla the Hun's picture
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I have to disagree about the hang-time of fecal stench. My dad was quite an (the anabomber! heh heh) when I was a kid- and he'd download some toxic sludge, sometimes flush it, then call me into the bathroom on some pretense like "come see the new shower curtain". I'd go in, and flushed or not the reek would be so thick I'd have to wipe off my glasses! Not really, but I'm telling you the stench would linger sometimes until my mom got home at night- even with the door open and noone else using the crapper until then. Maybe it WAS the new shower curtain- one basted with my Dad's ass fumes! He would take these kamikaze craps at his friend's houses too- a passive aggressive thing I'm sure- and they'd compete for the longest linger time. So I can see that festering pile creating quite a havoc with anybody's nostrils if they were unfortunate enough to be trapped in a room with it!

One more thing, and I'm not sure I want to know, What are "pussy boogers"?

Jimbo's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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i think a "pussy bugger"is a cat with a runny nose....

Jimbo's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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i mean booger.. sorry my mimmy says that im special

Jimbo's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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-mommy... what the hell is wrong with me?

TheBigCheese's picture
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Donglicker..err..uhh..I mean Doniker: I've had times where I plugged up my toilet, and couldn't get my load to go down, so it would remain in the bowl for hours...once, for 24 hours...and IT STUNK LIKE HELL the whole time! So bad, that I couldn't even tolerate pissing on my own pile. Once, when I lived in a place with only one bathroom, and had a pile in the bowl that wouldn't flush away, I'd go outside to piss, as the bathroom was just totally off limits. (The funny thing was....I had it in for one of the maintenance guys....so I'd always try and wait for his shift, to call and have him come and unplug my toilet- once, he got the dry heaves from the huge, steaming pile I had waiting for him!)

poo's picture
0
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poo is funny

Mike's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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I, many times, have laid a moist laden loaf that was so afoul with stench that it seem a waste to just flush. So therefore, I have left it in it's porcelain jacuzzi for others to enjoy. It depends on what you have eaten. Sometimes the odour lingers like a damsel's fine perfume, but who cares if it leaves? I love the vision I get in my mind of some unknowing sucker lifting the lid and feasting his eyes upon my workmanship.
It's all good peeps, it's ALL good!

Kim's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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i just wanna know one thing what is a pussy booger?

Anonymous Coward's picture
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My Ex had pussy boogers alot. The juice from her boojie would cling to the hair, then dry out and the result was a pussy booger. Hey Shit Volcano, Alzheimer's earliest sign is loss of the sense of smell.

Constipated Chick's picture
0
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All I can say is that I am new to this website, and I LOVE IT! I laugh non stop at these stories! I will share with you all that my husband can shit out some of the nastiest most disgusting things that I have ever smelled in my life! He used to call me into the bathroom to show me just how LONG his monster sized turd was! What a F#*king sicko! The stench almost made me PUKE! He then began to leave the shit in the toilet for me! He says he forgot to flush, how could you just forget? Thats like forgetting to wipe your ass! I refuse to piss on top of a MONSTER SIZED SHIT! Lots of times I am about to piss my pants and make a mad dash for the bathroom, and then I lift the lid, and see this brown f*#king water with floaters! AACCKK!!!! What the fuck is his problem? Does he want me to piss myself? I am scared that if I piss on top of the shitty mess, it will splatter on me! OHHHH how fucking sick would that be! Finally, one day while taking my once a week shit (I kid you not) I yelled for the hubby while I was in the bathroom! This is quite out of character for me. He looked at me dumbfounded! I stood up from the toilet, grinning from ear to ear and showed him my footlong corn covered shit! He fucking laughed! (The Bastard) Every now and then, I leave him a surprise in the muddy water with the lid down. Hey... paybacks a bitch!

ChiliKahKah's picture
j 1000+ points
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I guess if the stink was fermenting it would give new meaning to the term "ON AIR"

Mrs. Mad Crapper's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points
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If this dude is to lazy to wheel himself to the toilet to piss what makes you think he could be bother to flush a turd that's not even his?
_______
Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
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I don't think a pussy booger is a good thing. I, for one, have never had pussy boogers. I'm guesssing, but I think it is a green purulent globule of dried pussy mucus. Gross. So gross.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Mrs. Mad Crapper's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points
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nah, what would be really gross would be to see someone digging in their drawers after a pussy booger so they could eat it. Pick me a winner!
_______
Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
0
0

Laughing out loud, MMC. I'm going to great that" pick me a winner"!!
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17