i saw thatr on the mesage boreds u stole it!!!!!1

thats kinda the point. If something on the forums is really good, it'll be posted on the front page. What do you expect? Dumbass.

C'mon don't be so mean to this valiant flatologist....putting his life on the line in his service to science and mankind........

flatologist! hrmph hrmph hrmh mff mff mff

Thank the Lord that we have trashcanman to police this website that he thinks he owns and explain the rules to everyone. What would we do without him?

I don't believe that lighting farts is possible... I think it's all just a big joke, a big urban legend. Has anyone actually done it?

Years ago I was married to a drummer,and he & my brother with a few other friends didn't believe ,WOW, did they ever get fooled.Lit up the whole room.A few days my brother decides to have some fun,so he goes out drinking with three other guys,tells them(after they were half lit) he knew of a ghost train.My bro. takes them to an old railroad track,parks across the tracks and gets into the back seat,(that way he could get into the position to lite a good one).Having them listen for the train,he strains out a fart made from boiled eggs,turnip greens,sweet potatoes,and beer.He lit up the whole car and guys were bailing out the windows and running and screaming. I've gotten older now,but I still like a good laugh.

If you look around, you can find small AVI's of people lighting farts.

I hope this can be taken as the Gospel of Fart-lighting. Many people say it can't be done. It certainly can. I've done it. I'm a PhD in biochemistry, but that's not to say I didn't have fun in school. Interesting chemistry behind it: if you're intersted in more, read my report on the, "Implications of food Dye..." science report on this very site. name's Dave. Nice to meet you.

Anywho- Many of the naysayers claim that there's simply too much watervapor in a fart to burn. Not true. It's also not true, however, that the fuel is strictly methane. Turns out the normal human GI tract is loaded with bacteria (no surprise there) that specialize in different tasks. Most the anaerobic bacteria (those that function without oxygen) metabolize food-stuffs into methane (CH4), but some other greeblies produce other goodies that are useful in the anus-flame-thrower. The moisture indigent in the GI tract is nominal. People that say it won't burn because it's too moist should be asked to light a propane grill in the rain- it still lights. If, however, there were only methane present in the GI tract, the flame would burn a cool (temp wise) blue. That's not the case, however, as alluded to above...so, you got some sulfur (the smell, generally present in H2S (hydrogen sulfide, rotten egg smell), some sodium (natural byproduct of metabolism) and dozens of other goodies.

Light a fart- it's not just blue...it's yellow (from the sodium) it's might be a bit purple (from potassium) maybe even a bit greenish (from copper), but the H2S will make it very hot, pretty bright, and very smelly.

H2S is also why farts smell.

As far as diarrhea on your own hand- not too far fetched: the anal sphincter is a very smart muscle; with the proprioceptors it has, it can easily distinguish incompressible solids (e.g. poop) from compressible gasses (e.g. farts). That's how you just "know" when it's okay to let something rip. Trouble arises, however, when liquid is added to the equation: liquid, like solid, is incompressible. Therefore, your sphincter could send a message to the brain saying, "Okay! All's clear, solid poo comin' out!", when in fact it's really nearly a liter of messy, liquid squirts.

Hope this helps!

SoopirV900

I have lit several farts, all with pants on. It is actually quite impresive when done in the dark.

I dont know what the fasanation is with um fartin but its only funnie when it doesnt smelll truust me and have u ever seen southpark! u dont wanna die babes so ehhe :P byebye luv u all

Dont ever light your farts whenj you are coverd in gasoline!

try taking a crap then cover it with lighter fluid put your butt above it and light a huge fart! and see what happens! Don't try this in the kitchen!!!

Hey this sounds awfully familiar. Once, at my summer camp up in the foothills of California, we were very bored one night so we did the exact same thing described above. We lit our gastric emissions ablaze. Only we had to strip down to our underware so not too many people tried. One of the counselors had a huge, stinky fart and luckily someone was holding a lighter nearby and made about a 3 inch flame! We called this "Blueflaming" because the color of the flame was blue, amazingly. Of course, we all thought this was hillarious, but we had to be careful not to burn anus. Imagine how hard that smell would be to neutralize with Glade air freshener. Ah, the fond memories of camp many summers ago...

I actually lay on my back, put my knees up by my head and (with pants on) get a lighter, start lighting my butt on fire, let 'er rip, and pat it out

ive got some HUGE "blue darts" on video!!

Once, a year or so ago, my friends and I got together and had a few drinks. My dog had bad gas all day, so we thought it would be fun to light his farts. And so we did. Unfortunatly, my cat was curiously standing a couple feet behind him when he let one rip, and poor Fluffy got toasted. Burned her whiskers right off. She wasn't able to walk straight for weeks.

About 2 years ago my son at the age of 12 and I had some really bad almost continuous farts after eating dinner. We were watching TV from the couch and we had to hold our nose after we pased gas. It was so bad our dogs exited stage left. I told my son if he farted again that I would blow his battle ship out of the water. He looked over at me and asked what are you talking about? I replied just fart again. He then of course cut loose. I then grabbed my lighter out of my pocket lifted my right leg and shot a flame across the cushion. He was shocked and laughing at the same time. After checking the burnt fibers I flipped the cushion over and told him not to tell mom. Guess What? As soon as she came through the door he spilled the BEANS. Well my butt was really on fire then.

never tried this one but it sounds fun

I just burnt my ass

I burnt da lamp shade

I have been lighting farts regularly for the last 23 years. My first was in a pantry with my AcePal Kevin when we were 12. The flame was blue, abrupt, and about five inches long. There was a conspicuous "pop!" sound - followed by about eleven years of uproarious laughter. Not only is lighting farts possible - it's what separates us from apes.

I went to toilet and poo come out hahahahahahahaaa My botty is rancid and festering. Thankyou all

Stewart Good was on fire when he rip snorted his cheeks open. It was everywhere!

PS: Right now I'm picking chunks from the keyboard

Go to www.Ebaumsworld.com and go to the vidos THES A MOVIE OF UH DUDE LIGHTING A FART AND OTHER STUFF!!!!But it seems smelly >

my dearest and closest brother has tried and over succeeded. he accidentily light the doghouse on fire. (please don't ask about it!!!)

from reading the exiting messages, most of them seam to be from the male species, but what seperates men form woman is that we can fart from 2 holes. all ya gals out there, try lighting your fanny fart, and i know you do them, all gals do.

Actually, in all actuality, I have found that lighting farts is a good way to clean out your bunghole of all those unwanted hairs. The hairs in your butt only cause dingleberry's and it makes it hard to wipe your booty after shitting, so lighting your farts will burn those hairs away. It's like a free bikini wax or something.

Look, I used to be friends with this scat/punk rock guy named "stripe" and I personally have witnessed HIM light his farts. I also downloaded an mpeg a couple years ago of somebody doin it. I fully beieve this is a real phenomena. Dare to challenge me! Grrr.

I've successfully lighted dozens of farts since I was about 25. Not sure why I never tried before that. It is very entertaining and so far I haven't injured myself or anyone else while doing it. I guess if I did catch fire I'd just piss on myself and all would be well. KWIM?

http://www.tubgirl.com

I had a friend of mine successfully light a fart a few years back. Except he was wearing these flannel-type pants that unfortunately caught fire as the ass-blast ignited. He kinda panicked, ass aflame.. so I threw my drink on the small bonfire, saving the day.

I am going to shit the couch now.

I cant believe it! I just read all this methane lighting news and low and behold a rumblin in my tummy was just what I was looking for. I grabbed my modified butane lighter and off to the bathroom I went. first to pull my sweat pants down to my ankles and then off with the Jockeys. I bent over so my ass was facing the mirror and i watched thru my legs. strike up the lighter and then Riiiiipppppp I think my ring dialated to at least the diameter of a quarter (-O-) then I saw it. The "blue flamer" it rose about 4 inches above my ass where it ignited with a vooooof. I really was impressed until I saw my yam-sac hairs curling up smoking closer and closer to my delicate skin ! OMG what a nasty feeling having your nutz burned lighting your own noise maker! I guess the next time I eat a whole can of Bush baked beans and wash it down with Rolling Rock beer I have to leave the sweat pants on so that the footlong dosen't get burnt. Next time I am going to video tape it in the dark.......till then go shit yourself silly people! do you smell something burning?

you guy are sick monkys and I love it

Well, here I am minding my own business at work, when suddenly I gotta take this great big dump. So I make a run for the shitter, but wouldn't ya know it...someone is already in there. I decide to wait him out. After about 5 minutes I had a huge turtle head pokin outta my ass, so I decide to just excrete my waste in the girls washroom, but that is where I see my finace pukin her guts out from the mornings SpermShake. So now i'm in a real pickle, (not just the one stickin out of my ass), So I decide, Fuck It!! This shit has got to go...I never felt that much relief in my entire life, ofcourse my pants now weighed and extra 15-20 lbs, but it was all worth it. The problem I had now was how to go out and face my fellow employees, without them noticing??!!?? I hoped that my daily natural stink would deter them from noticing my wet, hot ass, but even that overpowered them, and from then on I was known as...SHITTY McBAD BATCH....TUM TUM TUM TA TA

I have lit farts, i have seen farts lit. it's kind of like when you turn your celophane from your cigarette pack into a rocket, only worse, and yes it can singe your pubes

my dad taught me how to light farts... all that he does is sit on the couch, pulls legs up (making sure that his pants r tight againts the anus region), then he holds the ligher there, and toots... its simple... make sure u dont light ur cat on fire tho, parents might get angry...

I lit one of my farts, it singed my ass hairs... funny, but it smelled like fart+burnt hair

I was hanging out with a few friends once in their apartment. Their electricity had just been shut off, so I decided to light the room. Understand, these people don't believe that girls fart...but I showed them!

for a good prank to brighten up your significant others day.

1- get a jar with a lid

2- fart in it everytime you got gas

3- close the lid real fast so you don't lose the rancid smell

4- stick it somewhere for them to open

5- laugh so hard you cry

there is nothing in the world so funny

(sic)

Ever heard of Darwin Awards? They are given to people who advance Human evolution by taking their stupid ass out of the gene pool. A bad mistake lighting a fart would count.

my relationship is odd cuz i want to fart so bad in front of my boyfriend, but he even thinks wheni burp too much i shouldn't because "it's not necessary" and it's pissing me off, but my farts really stink too from the booze and stuff i eat. what should I do?

How do I get him to stop being so anal?

PLEASE DONT BURN OR TRY TO LIGHT YOUR GAS (FARTS) IT CAN GO DANGEROUSLY WRONG!!!! THE FIRE WILL COME BACK INTO YOU!!!!!!!!

I heard about a guy who tried to light his own farts, but the flaming gas got sucked back into his anus and burned it crisp. THAT'S gotta hurt. Be careful when lighting your methane (or others').

And fanny, I've never heard of lighting queefs before. Seems to me they wouldn't be big enough to cause a good flame. Then again...

just fart in your boyfriends face while he is sleeping, wake him up with a fresh fart

pls keep off from here lagos isolo.

got two word for fart lighting, KAAAAAAA BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

My ex once said that you could not light a fart. I told him I would prove it to him and told him to let me know the next time he had to fart. Soon after he tells me he is going to fart. "Quick," I said, "drop your pants and bend over!" With this I struck a match and held it a couple of inches from his ass crack. He farted... then let out a scream. I saw the most beautiful blue orange flame I had ever seen. It shot out in BOTH directions... apparently going TOWARD his ass as well as away from it. It singed the hair on his ass and balls. Was so funny. Just goes to show... woman is much smarter than man.

i cought my house on fire call 911

My dad's roommate lit his wicker chair on fire doing that.

Read the comments and have been laughing myself silly. My sister and I tried it one time: she let one rip, I used a Zippo to light it and a long blue flame came out of her butt. We about killed ourselves laughing. So for all the guys out there- yes, there's women that light farts.

Lighting farts is one of the worlds fastest growing sports, with professional and amatuer organisations alike. The club records at my particular establishment are as follows:

Endurance class - 6 consecutive lit farts (each lit fart passing IFLB regulations for size)

Time Trail Class - 3.2 seconds (approx.) for one single lit fart (not my own doing but I'm telling you, this was one monumental effort).

what the fuck is this you guys are fucking weird and need help POOP REPORT....bah wtf
:) Jenny

I can testify to the fact that it is possible to ignite your own gaseous emissions, and I have done so on numerous occassions.

I would strongly advise anyone attempting to perform this feat with to employ the same precautions as one might use while performing a chemistry lab experiment.

You should wear protective eyeware and gloves. By all means, at the very least, wear pants. Denim seems to work best, as the tightly stretched fabric allows enough of the gas to pass through to ignite, while maintaining sufficient back-pressure to get what I call the 'pilot light' effect (e.g. a sudden 'burst' of ignition and corresponding 'thud' at the tail-end of the event horizon - it's like a small explosion in your pants).

To do this properly, you need to have some serious gas - the more the better. Bend over at the waist so you can see where your asshole might be. Light a match, and bring it close to where your hole might be. Let 'er rip - FIRE IN THE HOLE! The resulting back-draft is often enough to extinguish the match (but not before your see a wall of blue flame crawl up the legs of your jeans).

Again - BE CAREFUL. But have fun. When he was 10, I could keep my younger brother laughing hysterically for hours with this stunt.

ho w much poop gets flushed down a toilet in an avrige day?YOU GYES SUCK ASS. YOU SUCKBUTTMONKEYS.

Hey, Kenneth. Find some other site to bash. And suck mine!

I had this really messed up cousin. He goes by the name Luke of Hazleburg. This retard lights his farts all the time, and with his pants off too! I am 100% serious when I say this, this guy is fucked up. He tells me that it just burns the hair on your ass BUT ITS WORTH IT! I don't think that he is related to me actually cause the rest of my family is normal, not this guy, one time he took a shit in a coffee can. Who takes a shit in a coffee can? Then he did it 3 more times after that! Once he was doing work for this elderly lady and he took a shit in one of her flower pots and then threw it in the neighbors yard! Anyway, this mother fucker flares up his own farts, and enjoys every minute of it.

Well Mr. Eric, don't knock it until you've tried it! Lighting farts is the best!! And don't wear pants you fucking pussies, learn to live a little for Christ's sake. That has to be the pansy-est thing I've ever heard ... Any way when you are going to do this AMAZING feat, just hold on to your sack and you'll be ok. Some of the hair on you ass burns off, but you dont want that hair anyway so it works out for the better.

Oh, and I must say ... This is THE COOLIST site I've ever looked at! I love it and I'm going to make it my home page from now on.

I tried this once with my friends and it works!
i bent over in front of a fan (ass cheeks open) and sucked in air. My friends put the lighter right next to my hole, i pushed, and a flame shot out and burnt my friends hand along with my ass hair and a few pubes. WARNING: DONT PUT FLAME TOO CLOSE TO ASS.

MY ASSHOLE WAS PURE RED

Boys and Girls, you should ALWAYS practice Safe Fart Ignition (SFI). Here's how:

1. Fill bathtub or kiddie pool with water. Use a temperature that is comfortable to you and which will help you relax and fart more easily.

2. Settle down into the tub or pool for a leisurely soak. If in public, wear a swimsuit for modesty.

3. Fire up your sphincter with gaseous elements.

4. Light a match and hold it just above the water, positioned directly over your anus.

5. Let one rip.

6. As the fart bubble surfaces and pops, make sure the match is there to meet it. The gas will ignite and you'll get a nice flare.

7. Repeat as desired and able.

CAUTION: When lighting fart bubbles, keep your face and head away from the area over the lit match. Always sit with your head and shoulders back, and do not hunch over the ignition area.

If you follow instructions, you will be able to light farts to your heart's (and fart's) content without the danger of burning or singeing yourself.

Ah ha ha ha ha ha!!!! I'll have to try that one, PooperGal!

Hello,my name is Benny,and I am a professional farter....I am exicted to read all of your explosive gas data,and proud to see so many young people intrested in the art of methane ignition.I remember the old days when farting wasent"cool",but it seems to be catching on like wild fire "no pun intended".Someday in the future we will have flying cars that are powered by our own methane combustion,and I also believe that this sort of power may be the key to humans reaching the speed of light with space craft. I am currently working on the blueprints for a fart powered spaceship for our good friends at NASA,once the plans are complete maby I will share them with you all...Thank you,and good day.

poopergal it worked ahh ha ha ha ha ha...my boyfriend burnt his goatee off ahh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

whenever i'm at home or my friend's house and we have a fart we always get out the lighter and ignite it... we laugh our heads off and sometimes even record it on tape ^_^

Dangit, TSV, I WARNED everyone to keep their head back when they ignite one!!! Tell your boyfriend I wasn't kidding. Nah, on second thought he already learned that the hard way.

Glad you had a "blast" with underwater fart bubbles... the safe and responsible way. :)

I personally have lit many farts and consider myself an expert in the field. It is almost entirely safe. I have done it with pants on and off. Pubic hair, although it singes, is not highly flamable, but I've found that flame on bair ass is somewhat painful. It is best to do it wearing only underwear; this allows distance for the flame and protection for yourself. Lighting farts fully clothed creates more of a spread on the flame. However, I must advise caution because I once had a pair of tighties go up in flames doing this.

My Dad told me growing up that a kid in our town lit a fart which backfired up his anus detonating his colon. He went to the hospital and was never the same again. I think he almost died.

Lighting farts was fun in my younger days - and I never had a follow through problem. One must be circumspect about what one contains in ones bowels before trying exepriements.

My friend and his brother were talking about liting farts when when his brother had to fart we ran inside got a liter lit his ass and went up his anus. And he jumppped and cried and ran around the house a couple of times. After we settle him down and inspected his hole, IT WAS CRISPY CRITTER!!!!!!!!!

me and friend were tring to do flaming eddies and it was my turn and i got readdy and i pushed to hard and shit myself

If you wish to light up an almighty bomb of ass-gas why not try collecting the bubbles from a number of aquatic emissions?
Simply find a jar or wide necked bottle that has a sealing lid, fill it with water then invert over the anal region and begin pumping. The bubbles will displace the water and if you keep the container upside down with its neck beneath the water-line then you can seal it up with the lid, all ready for next time. Once you have discharged enough gas to fill, or nearly fill the container(this may take a while), you can take a match, preferably on the end of a long pole and WHHUUMMMPPHH!
This technique will release the power of possibly several dozen farts so be aware of the potential for harm. Happy Harvesting.

H-yuck! You inspected your bro's asshole???? Eww... I lick my mommy's :P

a lit a fart and the pubic hairs on my dick lit on fire. Have your fun and light your farts. maybe you'll be luckier than me...or you might just light your house and your du\ick on fire.

I can only see two women who admit to lighting their farts, Gal in Cal and Fanny and they seem to be both from the US. What is the attitude of women in the UK and elsewhere to this practice.

As I see it, women in the UK are extremely reluctant to fart in public -- period.

my friend is always gassy. we were goofing around 1 nite with fireworks, and he yanked his pants halfway down, flicked the lighter and let it rip. it was beautiful!purple streamers of fire spiraling from his ass!i bout peed my panties laughing!i didnt think that would really work, but it does!

lighting farts was a favorite pastime back in middle school... chicks dug it

I have been lighting farts for many years. The only adverse effect I have experienced from this was getting barred from my local pub. Some people have no sense of humour.

I have been telling my hubby and a few friends to light a match after taking a dump in the bathroom...telling them that if you hold the flame around the room and light the gases,youll see them turn to a black flame, that it will remove the smell! They dont believe me! They argue that it only makes the bathroom smell like shit and matches!! I have gotten rid of all the shit smell by lighting the gases in the room with a match. Has anyone else done this? Try it and youll see the shit smell will be gone immediatly! Enjoy!

My friend is studying medicine. He told me that when a doctor is cauterizing hemmeroids, they have to stuff the rectum with cloth. Because the escaping gas will ignite and burn the doctor's face!

I am a female expert fart-lighter & have almost killed a man making him watch my act. As long as there is some ammo, I can make it work. It's all in how you sit: sit on your butt, then rock backwards so that you are more on your back. Wrap your lighter arm under & around your legs to your 'lighting area'. It's the best way to go---don't burn your goodies...

Fine art, that of fart lighting. Down under they refer to them as 'Blue - Flaimers'
Was in Chicago a few years back for a trade show as our mini-van cab let me and my companions (in suits and ties from the trade show) jumped out one of my buddies rushed up to the wall and put his hands up against the wall and spread his legs as though getting ready to be patted down by a cop. He started yelling "Quick! Quick! I need a light!"
A chain smoking co-worker quickly flicked his bic and F-FF-F-F-T-T-TT-T-t-T !! A blue flame nearly 3 feet long roared out of his tail end. Quite a spectacular show, in fact many of the dozens of people waiting in line for dinner at that famous steak house we were in front of applauded in appreciation!!!

Would be interested in anyone that has a good way to simulate this for a demo for my 8th grade science students that doesn't require the real thing!!

One time Me and my friend were joking around and I went over to her and said "delivery for katy" and farted right by her, next thing I knew katy was going "sick that one stank"!! Then a while later she came over to me and farted in my face, looking back at it I can still remember the sistinctive smell?!?!?!?

What is a sperm shake?

I am an expert fart-lighter & have almost killed a man making him watch my act. As long as there is some ammo, I can make it work. It's all in how you sit: sit on your butt, then rock backwards so that you are more on your back. Wrap your lighter arm under & around your legs to your 'lighting area'. It's the best way to go---don't burn your goodies

I say that lighting farts is a sport masterd only by the acients.

I have tried lighting 'em when I let 'em rip but to no avail. After reading some good tips here I will be trying again. I will certainly be wearing denim for protection.

im 14 and i have lit ma fart loads of times and have only burnt ma arse ring onces lol its better do lit em in a dark room wid some1 fliming lol

I have heard of a man who lit one and sucked the flame right back up his ass. this may be an urban legened, but as they say, if you play with farts, you might get burned.

Happy trails,
L. Wrong
http://ppkindustries.blogspot.com

ummm... this site is pretty much discusting!!! UGH!!! who in the world would think of that sh*t? wht

You people are digusting. Lighting your farts and bottling them. Everyone knows that you should save your farts and do SBD's when everyone is congregated at dinner. Then blame the person next to you.

Fartlighting is funny as hell. This should be an MTV's Jackass thing. Next best thing to light campfires besides a flask of whiskey! Eat a can of Boston Baked Beans and set off a mini A-Bomb! (inspired by Beavis & Butthead do America)

Funny shit

I lit a massive fart in a bar just before a band went on stage and the lights were low. It was like a strobe lite flashed once. The band saw it and could not stop laughing when the light guy turned the spotlight on me. I played it off like nothing happened but they knew what it was...

Once I tried to light my fart on fire and I pushed so hard a giant clown poped out and started hitting me with bowling pins that he happened to be juggling at the time. This can be a very dangerous sport indeed. I fear to ever try again. In the name of all that is holy, PLEASE BE CAREFULL!

Has anybody here ever heard of The Royal Order of the Blue Flame?

Chief Brown Cloud at one time get angry when smell hind of one in tribe. I yell " SOMETHING STINKY, WHO LET FLY IN BIG CHIEF TP?". But many moon come. Many moon go.I think long time and meet old wise one. Chief Brown Cloud come to understand busting of cheese and to turn unseen cheese to blue flame. Now I smile when fart come and all of tribe share big laugh. Once blue flame make TP burn but we make new one in day. We not try in dry season.

royal order of the blue flame?
shouldn't it be royal order of the brown flame?

(i've never heard of it)

It is a farting society. You can look them up on the web, but they don't seem to have a homepage. Evidently, blue-flame farters let off pure methane, and this is supposedly rare. Just strikes me as our kind of folks.

I would like to leave a note in reference to The Munster Meister's warning. There are, I'm sure, those of you who don't think it is possible for a clown to pop out of one's behind and it is at you that I aim this message. I am, fortunately, still here to tell you that it is not out of the realm of reality for this to take place, but in my case it is circus freaks and pirates that fester in my nether regions. I want to warn you all of the dangers that are in store for those who are over anxious for the pleasures of flatulence and push a little too hard. Don't learn the hard way. Pirates do not, I repeat, DO NOT like to be lit on fire.

I tried looking for 5 minutes, but couldn't find anything so I gave up (typical midnight net surfing behavior).

I've never known anyone who lit their farts, much less someone who managed to get a blue flame out of their butt. I'm curious if anyone here has actually done it and if they can provide some sort of proof, whether it be photograph or video. Though, video would be better, I think.

How about in Smellavision, FP?

Go to Google and type in "Royal Order of the Blue Flame" in quotes. It should come up as the first or second hit, on a website called fartfacts.com or something like that. However, there is no link to any site for the Order itself. Must be something super-secret, like Skull & Bones at Yale.

Thanks, Dumpster. I couldn't find any fartfacts.com but the quotes made all the difference.

I have seen it done a long time ago by a guy I worked with. He pulled his pant's down for everyone to see and I couldn't believe his lack of modesty. I can't say I enjoyed seeing his doodads but it was an educational experience to see him try to light a fart. He had a lighter held maybe an inch from his rectom and when he busted one a blue flame maybe 2 inches long was visible for a split second. We all laughed and being the ham that he was he continued trying to light farts on fire when we asked. He couldn't get it to work again so it's not as easy as it looks. I tried a couple times with jeans on but no luck. This was atleast 15 years ago so I'm not sure but I think he had some pain with his success. I think I remember him saying that the flame went in his ass a little and burnt his hairs but it must not have hurt that bad because he kept trying. I'm sorry I can't give any proof except my word. What I'm really interested in is all this talk about pirates and shit coming out of someones butt. That to me sounds like a more interesting thing to research. I didn't even know that pirates existed anymore.

So if you find out how to join, let us know. I'll bet I know what the secret handshake is: "Pull my finger."

I'm 95 years old and I've been lightin farts since world war one. That's the big one. I dont know nothin bout no pirates and clowns but I seen some things I tell ya. Once bout 20 years or so ago I coaxed my old lady into joinin the fun and some kinda prehistoric reptillion thing shot out of there along with my dentures. Damn thing flew out the window and I crapped my pantys. Never seen nothin like it again and reckon I never will.

Dear Mr. Geezer:

With all due respect, sir, if you are 95 years old, you would have been born in 1911, which would have made you age 7 in 1918, when The Big One ended. Thus although I don't doubt that you and the Old Lady have had your share of fun, maybe it was in connection with a later event connected with a man named Hitler. Does that name ring a bell??

May I suggest you ring the bell for the nurses; have them change your Depends, and have a good night's sleep, compliments of your friends here at PR.

And, by the way, whichever war you served in, sir, you have our thanks and gratitiude.

Yours very truly,

The Dumpster

Dumpster: I don't think that post was real. Sorry to break it to ya.

O, please AB2K--don't disillusion me! I believe EVERY post on PR is real. I must! I also believe in the Tooth Fairy, and in immigration reform.

HAH HAH HAH immigration reform.

The mexicans will come in no matter WHAT you do.

BTW, I found a great price on roll off -20 yard dumpsters at WM.com

I saw a bvideo online once of a dude who lit his fart and lit a candle wit it.

The ex-Mrs. Dumpster's uncle B.M. used to light off his own farts. Unfortunately, he is dead now.

Dear Mr. Dunpster:
What makes you think I served in some war. I been lightin farts off since world war 1. Hell, I woulda been screamin like a girlscout at a sleepover if I was gettin shot at. I'm more the fart lightin sort. Ain't got no time fer marchin round when there's fartin to be done. Damn if you wernt right bout me needin a changin though.

Looks like you were right, AB2K. Damn, it seems like I will fall for anything. The other day some lady came to the door claiming she was from my insurance company, and in order to renew my policy, they needed me to take off my clothes and dance around my living room naked while she videoed it.

I later found out that it was a scam. Boy, did I feel stupid.

I've lit my farts on fire before. My technique is to lay on my back with my pants down, and hold a Bic lighter by my buthole and let all hell break loose. You can get some really big flames!

TD writes, "The other day some lady came to the door claiming she was from my insurance company, and in order to renew my policy, they needed me to take off my clothes and dance around my living room naked while she videoed it."

Well, I certainly hope you were wise enough to accompany your dance with appropriate music. Perhaps, say, The 'Toreador Song' from Carmen so that your one horned bull didn't stand out so much or so you could strategically use a matador cape to at least provide an "R" version....

Just what business are you in, Dumpy, that would require insurance on body parts?

Some people say I'm a professional prick, Bunghole, but you be the judge.

The following is an actual article from the Los Angeles Times. You can find it all over the web:

"In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only trying to retrieve the gerbil," Eric Tomaszewski told bemused doctors in the Severe Burns Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital.

Tomaszewski and his homosexual partner Andrew "Kiki" Farnum had been admitted for emergency treatment after a felching session had gone seriously awry.

"I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum and slipped Raggot, our gerbil, in," he explained. "As usual, Kiki shouted out 'Armageddon', my cue that he'd had enough. I tried to retrieve Raggot, but he wouldn't come out again. I peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking that the light might attract him."

At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman described what happened next. "The match ignited a pocket of intestinal gas and a flame shot out of the tube, igniting Mr. Tomaszewski's hair and severely burning his face. It also set fire to the gerbil's fur and whiskers. This fire in turn ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the intestine, propelling the rodent out like a cannonball."

Tomaszewski suffered 2nd degree burns and a broken nose from the impact of the gerbil. Farnum suffered 1st and 2nd degree burns to his anus and lower intestinal tract.

***

My, my, my.

Professional or amateur, I'll only be the judge if it's gratis, Dumpy.

Gratzia, Bungie!

Il piacere è il mio, sono sicuro, Dumpy.

If you only knew, la mia signora.

Oh, ma so...

In the Biblical sense, Bungie?

While not Genesis 19: 4-8, perhaps The Bible According to Mark Twain... The most figurative guy I've read.

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Don't just sit there: Have a Farting Contest!

try http://www.burningfarts.com

...awesome

The web site referred to above is awfully awesome. Here is a link to it.

As unofficial legal counsel for PoopReport, however, I need to advise people going to that site NOT TO ATTEMPT THESE STUNTS YOURSELVES. Lighting farts can "backfire" (pun intended), and you can be seriously injured. Just enjoy watching the other dumb yahoos make asses out of themselves.

i have tryed this and shit on myself when it lit. it was fast and scared the hell out of me.

Dude, you can lite farts on fire... You just need to dropyourpants to get a good one, but I heard you can blow up your intestines doing it that way .

i have successfully combusted many flattus. the key is getting the flattus to fly upwards at 45 degree angle... thay has proved most effective.. dont forget underwear.. and as far as producing flattus.. nothing beats White Castle hamburgers(sliders)

Me and a few mates started doing it with lighters at a party while drunk. It's amazing how childish lads can be, this gave us HOURS of entertainment. Also one of my sisters friends went to University where she saw a competition. Lads stood in a line with their pants down. TP stuck up their arses and runs down to the floor. They all have one pint which they must drink once the TP has been lit. Only when they have finished the pint can the TP be removed from their arseholes. Sounds like fun for anyone willing to try

I have tried many times to light my fart, but only thrice did it work. Have any tips?

I learned to light farts as a freshman in college, long ago. After about a fifteen year layoff, I one night had explosive gas and, for some reason, I thought I should give it a go again. A couple friends were over, both guys in their 30's, and I was amazed to find that neither had ever seen it done. I got a book of matches, we turned off the lights in the room, and my first blast lit beautifully. It was one of those cloudlike flames, with lovely blues and oranges. I'm not sure if that was the one that singed off the hair on my hand, but I knew from past experience that that was to be expected with those kinds of farts. There's little chance of burning your ass if you keep your pants on, of course, and if you don't have a hairy ass there's a low risk of catching it on fire with your pants down. My father, who's a doctor, told me that when he was an intern he saw several second and third degree burns of the ass and nuts from fart lighting. I think it's a myth that you can have a backdraft flame that goes up your rectum, but if your but lips are still a little loose from a recent massive turd I suppose anything is possible.
One thing I should point out is that some fart gas burns with a sort of sweet aroma that I find unpleasant.
Also, if you're ever lucky enough to get one of those squeaking "air out of a balloon" type farts, they frequently make impressive flames that shoot sort of like one of those barbecue lighters. I've seen flame jets almost a foot in length, and trust me when I say they're most popular...almost like a fireworks display, since they sometimes have a little flame ball out at the far end.
As for positions, you have the most control lying on your back with your knees drawn up toward your chest. Your audience will truly appreciate how this helps present the orifice in an optimum direction for projecting the flame outward and upward. Also, you can usually crane your neck so you can align the match or lighter with the kulo to catch the first burst of methane.
Best of luck in this. Oh, and don't forget that even women seem to get a big kick out of a burnt offering like this. For some reason they don't stigmatize it the way they do, say, when you beg them to pull your finger. You know the look, I'm sure, which is typically followed by a comment like, "You're disgusting." My ex-wife found great amusement in a demonstration I gave her one evening, but she never allowed me to light any of hers. Perhaps it wouldn't have helped, but I can't stop myself from wondering if we wouldn't have stayed together longer had we shared that kind of bond. Alas, I'll probably never know.....

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My butt isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Hey Kenneth, before bashing this site, go back to school and learn to spell the words average and guys. Stuck butt monkeys consists of three words, not one, Sheesh.

I have heard of fart lighting, but never tried it. I'll have to check out "Royal Order of the Blue Flame".

If somebody lights a realy stinky one or poops in the process, it could be called "Royal Odor of the Brown Shame".
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A man who farts in church, sits in his own pew.

Farting is a scientific process. First, you need undigested, complex carbohydrates, like slightly under-soaked/under-cooked pinto beans. Second, you need an anaerobic, acid tolerant bacteria, like the kind found in slightly spoiled oranges. Don't eat moldy ones, just ones that have a slight "off" flavor. Then, at the same time, eat a bunch of beans - undercooked, homemade beans will be explosive in about six hours. I just discovered lighting farts yesterday, and it is fabulous fun! There are two great reasons to burn your farts. One, it destroys the farty smell, which is great for married couples. Second, it is trully "natural gas" heating in the wintertime. Keep your shorts on, otherwise there is a very hot sensation, you know where. Mine make a slight pop sound as they ignite, accompanied by a yellow to blue flame. Lighting farts is the only thing that separates us from the apes. Oh wait a minute, I bet chimps would love to do it too.

I've successfully lit a fart without any bother at all, what a spectaular sight. Funnily enough it kills off the vile stench as well ;D

lighting farts is the best. just wear a thick pair of jeans and whoosh! your crack is alight with blue flame. have your camera ready. chicks love it.

this is one of the best sites I've been on. Before I met my husband 13 years ago, my friends and I would get stoned and let 'em rip and light them. It was so flippin hilarious. My husband doesn't find it funny because I want to teach it to my children (19, 17, 13, & 11). I think I'll show them when he's not around!!

Dried beans soaked and cooked in the same water, onions and stout are the ideal ingredients for Mr. Fusion. I have found that a match or a lighter is insufficient. If the fart rips hard enough itll blow out the flame. I have used a bernzOmatic blow torch like the one you get in home depot for interesting pyros. If you feel a big one coming on, just grab the torch and aim horizontal to intercept the exit path.

I saw someone in college singe their ass hairs from lighting farts with their britches down. Damn be careful peeps please!
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The Thunderous Crapper 63 Enjoying home toilet advantage since 2004!

I've lit my farts before, I made a 8 minute video of just that. It's totally possible.

Go on Youtube and search Light Fart or some variation of those words.

Did anyone see the lap dance with its fart finale on the BBC's Doctors? It was written by Claire Bennett. Bennett will be directing a play called Red Hat No Drawers in April 2008 at The Old Joint Stock in Birmingham England. I mention it because the play features a farting ghost - don't worry they don't smell.

This is a safe and dramatic way to light farts. Have the farter sit in a bathtub of warm water containing some bubble bath. Lower the bathroom illumination. After the farter farts the farts will appear as bubbles of different sizes. Ignite the the bubbles with a pistol-type butane lighter. As each bubble is touched with the flame it bursts into a flame with a little pop.